Volume VII, Issue IV

WINTER 2014

Throughout the year, DaySpring Villa maintains a vigilant eye on the way your financial gifts are put to work. As you know, we do not receive any funding from the government or United Way. This means we rely exclusively on your generosity to help us provide the basic necessities, tools and resources to hundreds of abused and trafficked women and their children day after day.

We are fortunate in our ability to hold down operating costs due to our volunteer base and the thousands of hours they sacrifice to help us prepare meals, perform landscaping, make general building repairs and renovations, and manage donated items.

We are equally blessed to have selfless individuals, groups and churches who rush to our aid whenever we find ourselves short on diapers, toilet paper, and other necessities. You all are a true Godsend for DaySpring Villa, and the reason we can respond to a hurting part of every Tulsa community.

But the fact is, our number of guests keeps growing. The cost of basic goods, services and utilities keeps rising. And now, as the year draws to a close, all of these reasons and more have resulted in a budget deficit of nearly $99,000.

DaySpring Villa bears witness to tiny miracles every day—whether it’s a woman who’s earned her driver’s license after being forbidden to drive, a child who understands that violence of any kind is wrong, or a once-broken family now prepared to live a more independent and self-sufficient life.

Today, DaySpring Villa needs a miracle of its own, and we need it from you.

Oklahoma continues to rank third in the nation for women killed by men in single victim, single offender homicides. Human sex trafficking is a thriving enterprise, threatening every life it touches. Our mission is more than providing a faith-based shelter; we exist to transform the lives of women and children in crisis so that they will one day return our collective gift by becoming assets to the city and suburbs we call home.

Please help us continue our work by becoming a part of the Christmas miracle DaySpring Villa desperately needs. Thank you, and may God bless us each and every one.

Needed: A Christmas MiracleBY WILMA LIVELY, DSV EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

THE VILLA VOICE

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Faithful Prayer WarriorEvelyn Virginia Cline

1925 – 2014

How unfitting it seems to champion a life in words that offer little more than a snapshot of extraordinary selflessness.

It’s not improbable to believe that Evelyn’s life began with a calling to serve the Lord. In a time and place where lawmen and the lawless, cattle drives and prohibition were the order of the day, Evelyn aspired to make a positive change on every life she touched. Born July 8, 1925, in Wichita, Kansas, Evelyn Roe was destined to become a missionary. After graduating from Wichita East High School in 1943, she married Dayton Cline in 1945. The couple bore three children, David, Janice and Karen. When Dayton died in 1975, Evelyn rediscovered her calling. In an undated, type-written testimony to DaySpring Villa, she wrote, “I experienced many crises in my marriage… I was a Sunday school teacher and church pianist. Several of the women in my Sunday school class had difficult marriages, and at my pastor’s suggestion, I took them into my home after my husband passed away.”

At God’s calling, Evelyn soon sold the couple’s farm and moved to Atlanta to train as a mission service corps volunteer with what is now known as the North American Mission Board. She then fulfilled her calling at DaySpring Villa where she served tirelessly for more than 30 years.House Staff Sheila Mitchell, former director of DSV, recalled in her eulogy

to Evelyn, “Ms. Evelyn was always willing to do whatever needed to be done to carry on the ministry, whether it was sharing Jesus with the women and children, cleaning vegetables, planting flowers, or answering the

phone in the wee hours of the night when we didn’t have the funds

to pay a person to work the night shift.

“Whenever you ask someone (how) they would describe Ms. Evelyn, it is always faithful prayer warrior. Her life was all about talking to God and she

prayed about everything, whether it was someone

who needed to meet Jesus, someone (who’d lost) a set of

car keys, about a specific need at DaySpring, or praying for her family or friends.”

Jo Ratliff, a former bookkeeper at DSV in the early years, also was touched by Evelyn’s commitment to the Lord, the shelter, and the broken women who rediscovered their value and self-worth. “Her easy smile and firm hand, her grit and her grace, will long be remembered by those of us who witnessed her dedication to the ministry of helping women in crisis.”

While destiny often manifests itself in winding curves and confusing crossroads, Evelyn never wavered from what she knew to be her own road in life. DaySpring Villa became her home.

The shelter’s staff and guests became her second family.

Sheila Mitchell and DSV Executive Director Wilma Lively paid what would be one of the last visits to Evelyn in October, where she laid in a hospital following a difficult surgery. “Evelyn was concerned that her name wasn’t on the shelter’s schedule,” Lively says. “I explained that I hadn’t seen a note from her doctor releasing her so I couldn’t put her name on the official schedule. Ms. Evelyn said, ‘Well, maybe you could just put my name down at the bottom.’ We came back to DaySpring and wrote Faithful Prayer Warrior.”

That line will continue to appear on DaySpring Villa’s work schedule every day.

Evelyn Virginia Cline was laid to rest in her hometown of Wichita. She is survived by her three children, five grandchildren, eight great-grandchildren, and hundreds of guests and friends whose lives were forever changed because of her.

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P.O. Box 1588 | Sand Springs, OK 74063 | 918.245.4075 | DaySpringVilla.com

Kelly A. James, Ph.D.

Leave a Legacy of Your Own

No matter what your talent, skill sets or personal calling, you easily can become a DaySpring Villa volunteer. DSV offers numerous volunteer opportunities yearlong for individuals and groups, whether it’s a one-time gift of service or regular involvement.

Volunteers are a true lifeline for DaySpring Villa, helping us keep our operating costs down while improving the quality of life for our guests. All volunteers receive the required training for their specific area of interest and take home a warm smile that might just last for weeks.

Make a New Year’s resolution to leave a legacy all your own by choosing one (or several) of these volunteer opportunities:• Professional services, such as legal,

medical, dentistry, therapeutic and more

• Meal preparation and serving• Child care (especially Monday through

Wednesday evenings)• General building repairs and

improvements• Bible study, prayer groups• Sorting and organizing donations• Lawn care and landscaping• Help with birthday parties and other

special events• Donation drives• Fundraising• Business sponsorships for back-

to-school supplies, Christmas and birthday gifts

To learn how you can become a part of DSV’s volunteer lifeline, call Sandy Noble, DaySpring Villa volunteer coordinator, at 918.245.4075.

THE VILLA VOICE

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P.O. Box 1588 | Sand Springs, OK 74063 | 918.245.4075 | DaySpringVilla.com

THE VILLA VOICE

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In Part I of How Do You Mend a Broken Woman? we met Maryann, age 62, whose husband Joe suddenly packed up and deserted her after decades of what Maryann described as a “good marriage.” Retired and living on a small income, the couple had raised three children, enjoyed six grandchildren, attended church and volunteered together.

Now, in what should have been the golden phase of life meant for sharing more quality time and enjoying their accomplishments as parents and grandparents, Joe had simply walked away. No reasons or excuses. No plans to return. Poof.

According to Vikki Stark, MSW, an expert and author on runaway husbands, men who abandon leave for myriads of reasons. Unfortunately, none will ever make sense to the bewildered wife left questioning what she must have said or done to prompt his desertion.

Brianna, age 27, knows this all too well.

The Serial DeserterA popular Tulsa hairstylist, Brianna met Tyler while attending a hair show in Kansas City. “We literally ran into each other during a lunch break in the convention center,” Brianna recalls. Tyler, 10 years her senior, worked as a graphic designer for a company that had sent him to a conference held at the same convention center.

“I can’t say it was love at first sight, but it was pretty close,” Brianna says. “We took our relationship very slow, and since I lived in Tulsa and he lived in Kansas City, we split our trips on weekends to see each other.”

Brianna believed that limiting their in-person visits to weekends seemed like a good way to get to know each other. The couple talked by phone at least six times

a day, reserving long conversations for nighttime when they compared childhoods and personal experiences, and shared intimate secrets that seemed to bring them closer. Within two years, Brianna moved to Kansas City where Tyler owned a condo. There, he insisted on financing a small salon that Brianna could call her own. Six months later, they married.

“I couldn’t have been happier,” Brianna says. “I had a husband I adored, who adored me, and I had my own business—everything I could have dreamed.”

On the couple’s first wedding anniversary, however, the dream turned to dust.

“I didn’t hear from Tyler the whole day,” Brianna recalls. “All of my calls went to voice mail.” Concerned, Brianna cancelled her afternoon appointments and drove straight home. What she saw scattered on the front porch and in the condo’s tiny yard rendered her speechless.

“Everything I owned was stacked outside for the world to see,” Brianna says. “The situation was as devastating as it was humiliating.”

Tyler didn’t leave a note. Instead, he’d changed the door locks and filed for a divorce, seeking complete ownership of the hair salon. The two would never speak again, leaving Brianna as confused today as she was the afternoon of the couple’s first wedding anniversary.

Broke and too exhausted to fight, Brianna shuttered the salon and returned to Tulsa. There, she began investigating Tyler’s past, trying make sense of his bizarre abandonment. She soon learned that Tyler had married and suddenly left three other women before her. No explanation. No apologies. Only the façade of a seemingly ideal husband that no one would ever truly know.

How Do You Mend a Broken Woman?PART I I OF A TWO-PART SERIES

Trauma is any experience or event that is prolonged, overwhelming, or unpredictable. Unexpected abandonment certainly falls in the trauma category. When a woman finds herself suddenly abandoned, whether it is intentional or the result of a tragedy, she needs professional guidance in the form of a therapist who has the knowledge and experience to help her learn to let go and begin the healing process so she can move forward.

For a woman who has been abandoned, she first needs to understand that the behavior of the man who left has absolutely nothing to do with her, because the abandonment itself is all about him.

Women are nurturers, but more often than not they put themselves last on the list. Women need to learn how to take care of themselves and make themselves a priority. Recognize that it will take time to process the feelings that accompany loss and grief, but know that you will eventually heal, and you have the ability to move on.

If you or a friend have suffered an unexpected loss and need the tools for recovery, call Dr. James at Foundational Solutions, 918.928.9585, to schedule an appointment, or learn more at Drkellyajames.com.

Letting Go and Moving ForwardBY KELLY A. JAMES, PH.D.

Kelly A. James, Ph.D.Foundational

Solutions

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P.O. Box 1588 | Sand Springs, OK 74063 | 918.245.4075 | DaySpringVilla.com

In Memory of Leland Turley Norma Wheeler Wilma Lively

In Memory of Garnett Harding’s Birthday Month Clyde & Debbie Harding One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Ray Campbell’s Birthday & Homegoing Clyde & Debbie J. Harding One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Beverly Wren Robert & Rebecca Riess

In Memory of my son, Lee Lair Marian Rose Lair

In Memory of Samuel & Stephen Burgess James C. & Betty Lou Tincher

In Memory of my wife, Dolores A. Wright Basil W. Wyatt

In Memory of Scott Richey Mildred Queen

In Memory of Gayle Riley Dewbre Mildred Queen

In Memory of John Gordon Nogle Rebecca J. Schwarz Riess

In Memory of Marguerite Meyer Larry & Susan Reynolds One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Fred Meyer Larry & Susan Reynolds One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Jane Traw Jim & Nora Cook One Week of Royal Care*

In Memory of Maureen Fink Curley A victim of domestic violence Jim & Nora Cook One Week of Royal Care*

In Memory of Truman Easley Jim & Nora Cook One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of E.O. Sumner Jim & Nora Cook One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Evelyn Cline Jim & Nora Cook One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Evelyn Cline Opal Hesler Shawn M. & Deborah M. Bell Wanda J. Graham Dr. & Mrs. Bain C. Cate Wilma A. Lively & Family Barbara Lacy Don & Barbara Roe Alan & Jo Ratliff Anna Lee Walker Allan & Wanda M. Payne Todd & Sheila Mitchell Margie Griffin Fred A. & Sandra B. Reynolds DeLoy Smith

In Honor of Leola Jurrens Edward J. & Rhonda Hicks Two Days of Royal Care*

In Memory of Anne Linton R. Scott & Angela K. Marrs

In Memory of Susie Lynchard Fisher Baptist Church, Inc.

In Memory of Galen Tweedy LeRoy & Glenda F. Tweedy

In Memory of Wanda Perceful’s Birthday Chris, Toni, Jordan & Nathan Ashley One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Shirley Ashley’s Birthday Chris, Toni, Jordan & Nathan Ashley One Day of Royal Care*

In Memory of Darena Bankston’s Aunt Mary Nelson Jarene Robison

In Memory of Ruth Perrin Mr. & Mrs. Marvin B. Jones

In Memory of Steve Haynie Betty J. Haynie

In Honor of Bob Adsit T. Gene & Mona Statham

In Honor of Dusty Rhodes T. Gene & Mona Statham

In Honor of Des Bennett Steven R. & Shari G. Huff One Day of Royal Care*

In Honor of Cindy Graham Wade & Charlotte Edmundson

In Honor of Levi Juby’s 14th Birthday Clyde & Debbie Harding

In Honor of Taylor A. Riess In Honor of Robert A. Riess II In Honor of Noah M. Riess In Honor of Nathaniel R. Riess Rebecca Riess

In Honor of Jae Anthony-Wilson Central 9th Grade Student

In Honor of Berniece Brown’s 90th Birthday Todd & Sheila Mitchell

Days of Royal Care* purchased at The Royal Feast Patti E. Morast Nancy Harris Ellen C. Cook Rodger & Jackie Graham Kenneth & Carol Schmidt Rick & Sharon Lynn Sandi Lemley Jeff & Nora Holman John R. & Janae Smucker Bob & Margaret Green Kirby W. Hagemeister Carlyn & Tamara R. Mattox

*Each day of A Royal Day of Caring is $128.77

To receive newsletters and other announcements via email, simply visit www.DaySpringVilla.com. Click on the green Connect with DaySpring Villa button in the left sidebar. It’s on every page of the website. You can also scan the QR code to the right.

OUR MISSION IS TRANSFORMING LIVES.DaySpring Villa is Oklahoma’s first faith-based, certified shelter for domestic violence victims and adult victims of human sex trafficking. Since 1995, we’ve transformed the lives of more than 6,500 women and children in crisis. Through goals-based programs, spiritual guidance, human compassion, and open hearts and minds, DaySpring Villa turns victims into vibrant survivors. As a non-profit organization, DaySpring Villa receives no United Way or government funding, so our ability to provide these women and children with protective shelter, basic needs, and professional ser-vices relies on financial gifts from caring individuals, corporations, foundations, and churches of every denomination.

Board of Directors

Nora Cook, PresidentDes BennettBill CoodySue FreemanEd HicksEd LunaRon LundinJohn NikkelScott PalmerJarene RobisonPhyllis Zimmerman-WadeJudy White

DaySpring Villa is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization © 2014 DaySpring Villa

918.245.4075 DaySpringVilla.com

Follow us on Facebookwww.facebook.com/dayspringvilla

InsideNeeded: A Christmas Miracle 1

Faithful Prayer Warrior 2

Leave a Legacy of Your Own 3

What Christmas Means to the Children of DaySpring Villa and Staff Photo 4

How Do You Mend a Broken Woman? Part II 6

Memorials and Honorariums 7

Celebrating Christmas at DSV Infographic 8