Dating

Journal #11(A) #10 (B)

• List 5 must haves in a person you want to date

• List 5 “can do without!!”

•DATING Basic PRinCipaLs!!!!

!!

3 purposes of dating:

• ** We date for social reasons

• ** We date to establish male & female roles

• ** We date to eventually get married/find a mate :)

•Universal Dating

Questions

What should I expect?

• ** Expect drama

• ** Expect fickleness, pickiness, and

indecisiveness

• ** Expect to make a fool of yourself

What should I expect?

• ** Expect drama

• ** Expect fickleness, pickiness, and

indecisiveness

• ** Expect to make a fool of yourself

Who should I go out with?

• ** Begin with the end in mind

• ** Establish your non-negotiables VS would likes

What if I never get asked out?

• ** Ask yourself some questions: • Am I friendly with everyone? • Instead of waiting to be asked, could I

ask someone instead? • Am I making excuses for not dating? • Am I doing everything I can to make

myself attractive?

What is the biggest mistake teens make when dating?

• BECOMING CENTERED ON YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND

• ** Make sure you are PRINCIPLE centered rather than overly focused on your boyfriend/girlfriend

How will I know when it's time to break up?

• There are different types of relationships

• ** Win-Win: The relationship is good for both of you. Enjoy it!

• ** Win-Lose: The relationship is good for you but bad for them. Fix it or get out!

• ** Lose-Win: The relationship is bad for you but good for them. Fix it or get out!

• ** Lose-Lose: The relationship is bad for both of you. Get out fast!

RED FLAGS!!!!

 

• ** Ultimatums

• ** The savior complex

• ** Lies

• ** "You'll never find anyone else who will love you."

• ** "If you leave me, I'll hurt myself."

How do I get out of an abusive relationship?

•  HAVE A PLAN

• Break up over phone, tell family members and friends your plan, seek help to deal with emotional feelings after the break up.

• ** Talk with a trusted adult if necessary. Get that adult on your side during the break up.

•INTELLIGENT DATING

Group Do’s & Don’ts

• Hanging out

• Dating

• Being a boyfriend or girlfriend

• Breaking up

• Post Break up

DON’T date too young

• ** 16 is a good age to start dating. You can drive yourself, you are more mature, etc. However, you can start dating later if you don't want to start at 16.

DO ate people your own age

• ** You are at the same phase in life as people your own age

DO..Get to know lots of people

•  ** Remember our cars... we want to test drive lots of different cars :)

DO date in groups

• ** Group dating can help to minimize awkward situations

• ** Group dating can also help you avoid dangerous situations from being alone

DO Set your own boundaries

• 5. Set your own boundaries

• ** We all have a sex drive, and it is NORMAL! We need to control our natural sex drive by setting physical boundaries for ourselves. It is normal to want to hold hands and kiss people you date; however, without boundaries you are more likely to get caught up in dangerous intimate situations.

• ** It is crucial that boundaries be set. Anything past kissing and you are playing with fire

• ** Avoid settings where this could be more of a temptation...being alone in the house, staying out too late, a parked car, dark places where you are alone, etc.

• ** The difference between a kiss and making out is the length of time. 10-15 seconds is a good kiss. Anything over 15 seconds turns into making out and from there, it is a slippery slope.

• ** The funnel of intimacy--this is the natural progression...hence BOUNDARIES:

• -- Hug

• -- Hold hands

• -- Cuddle

• -- Kiss

• -- Make out

• -- Petting

• --Intercourse

• It is crucial that boundaries be set. Anything past kissing and you are playing with fire

Do HAVE A PLAN

• Have a plan when dating.

DATING Basic

PRinCipaLs???????

BE YOURSELF

Love Language