BMW’s 335d has shaken up the car world and moved the goalposts. A performanceoil-burning coupé was never meant to happen, but by heck does it work…

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Words: Joel Newman Photos: Jamie Lipman

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It’s hard to believe but four years have passed since BMW lifted thecovers on its fifth generation 3 Series, the E90 Saloon. In 2005 speculatorsand enthusiasts alike winced at the rather square frame that took up theE46’s mantle, and boy did it have a job on its hands. A great performer it mayhave been, but a beauty? Well, it was more of a face only a mother could love.

For BMW the pressure was on, and the worldwide BMW fraternity made no bonesabout it. The forthcoming E92 Coupé needed to be gob-smackingly beautiful,dynamically superior to the E46 and more technologically advanced with regards toamplified power and economy. It was make-or-break time for BMW and devoteesworldwide were left praying that its designers had left the ugly-stick at home.

Mercifully, Mr Bangle’s Coupé impressed from the outset. Potential buyers no longerhad to squint, hold press photos at jaunty angles or attempt to justify its lines. With itssweeping silhouette, sleek and curvaceous profile and a meaty and purposeful rear endBMW had finally released a contemporary and effortlessly beautiful Three.

Compared to the E90, the E92 certainly delivered in the aesthetic department. It’s abeautiful Coupé and we must salute dear Mr Bangle for this. Despite the constantcriticism he has faced, his take on the E92 is ultimately highly successful and proof thathe is wholly capable of envisaging cars petrolheads lust after (...as the 6 Series alsoproved). And the fact that it did not use any of the E90s body panels was further proofthat BMW had taken this model very seriously indeed.

There were two engines available when the E92 first hit the showrooms; the 325i and335i. Despite the 325i earning praise for its relaxed and competent performance it wasthe 335i that stole the hearts of the motoring world. 306bhp made it sublimely quick, itsclever use of twin-chargers took economy to an unprecedented 28mpg on the combinedcycle and with almost dream-like seamless acceleration and nearly 300lb ft of torque itwas flexible and useable. In many people’s opinion the 335i did everything right and, forthe price tag and relatively insignificant performance differentiation, looked a far betterbuy than the forthcoming V8 engined M3. In fact the 335i was perfect in nearlyeveryway; it had the world at its feet and for rivals such as Mercedes and Audi it wastime to go back to the drawing board.

However, the arrival of BMW’s 335d shook things up even further. Lookingidentical to the 335i, its aesthetic identity was no longer capitalised by a set of dirtydown-turned tail pipes. Performance figures were also groundbreaking. Theuprated engine now produced an almighty 286bhp, compared to 272bhp found inthe 535d – giving the twin turbocharged M57 lump the same power as the 3.0-litreE36 M3. And with 428lb ft, the 335d has nearly 50% more torque than the 335iand 15lb ft more torque than the Porsche 996 Turbo!

Yet critics immediately began asking questions: How would it truley sound?Will its automatic gearbox take the driving pleasure away? Why wouldcustomers pay a premium over the outstanding 335i? All good and valuablequestions you might think, until you drive the car that is.

Just like the critics, Darren Weston was also sceptical about a diesel-powered performance 3 Series. While he could see that for business orlong distance commuters a car like this made perfect sense, for amotoring enthusiast putting a diesel engine into a sporty BMWCoupé is akin to giving a rabbi a pig for Christmas, it just shouldn’thappen. Having recently owned a Porsche 997 C4S, an Aston MartinV8 and an Audi RS4 Darren knew the ingredients of a premiumsports car better than anyone; so it is a testament to the car (and theman himself) that after a test-drive at his local dealership he exitedthe E92’s fabulous swathed cabin with preconceptions shattered.

As Darren explains: “From the start I was in disbelief at thiscars performance. On paper the 335d may be a slower car than the335i but I can only imagine these figures would show up on atrack. In the real world it is a far faster machine, catapulting youforward in every gear. Lots of bhp is one thing, but if you don’thave the torque on the road it is almost meaningless.”

To be totally honest Darren was also turned-on by the lack ofinterest in the 335d from BMW enthusiasts worldwide. He hadseen some owners improving the 335i, to a degree, but the 335dwas totally untouched in the tuning scene.

“Because the 335i and 335d are almost identical I knew I couldutilise some of the freshly released bodystyling,” Darren says. “Sousing my contacts I made a few calls to determine thepossibilities regarding increased performance. I wanted to begina unique project, which would culminate with a car that wasfaster than an E92 M3, but also a car that combined practicalitywith prestigious good looks. I also wanted to make it dynamically

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The 335d is so advanced and drives so well Iknew instantly that it would be the perfect car

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superior to the 335i. The 335d is so advanced and drives so well I knewinstantly that it would be the perfect car to underpin my mission, and it would

surprise a few people too.”So Darren went out and purchased himself a dazzling blue example. But then,

after much thought and deliberation, he decided that in this hue the project wouldlack the no-nonsense impact he craved. As a successful commercial interior

designer Darren was in a fortunate position, meaning he needn’t wait in the eBay cuefor the right styling components at the best price. With a few quid in the bank he sold

his first 335d and started the hunt for a motor with a more suitable colour scheme. “Visually I knew how I wanted the car to look, so instead of buying a standard car

and taking it apart I decided to go straight to Autovogue in Staffordshire,” Darrenrecalls. “They are the exclusive dealers for Hamman in the UK. I’d fallen in love withHamann’s kit for the car, so I explained to the owners Stuart and Rob exactly what I wasafter. I needed a Graphite grey 335d wearing the Hamann suit. I also wanted the car on20” Kahn wheels and I asked if they could colour-code the centres for me too!”

Nothing is too much trouble for the Autovogue lads and within just a few weeks a carwas sourced, kitted and supplied, powdercoated Kahn 20-inchers and all. Now looks likethis do not come cheap. At over £8000 the Hamann kit is an expensive indulgence inanyone’s book, but be in no doubt it suitably transforms the cars styling. However,Darren decided to go a step further and fit black grilles, a rear lip spoiler and a set of E92M3 wing mirrors finished in matt black.

With the new car now on the driveway Darren got on with the revisions, fulfilling ideaswhich had been knocking about long before he had even obtained the motor: “I fell inlove with BMW’s Performance seats after I saw them in this very magazine. I spoke toboth German and US dealerships but no one could get their hands on any for the E92. Inthe end I decided to make a courtesy call to my local Luton-based BMW specialist. Witheverything I had been told, it was a real stab in the dark but I was very surprised withthe level of service I received. The man said he would have a hunt around and see whathe could do. I wasn’t optimistic but the next day he called back. He had found the onlyE92-specific set on sale in the UK, and explained that they were mine if I wantedthem.” Darren bit his arm off, and within a few days, and £1600 later, the BMWPerformance seats were in, emblazed with a set of carbon badges that Darrenattached himself. Really, if you’re in the market for new bum huggers and have a

few quid then this is the way to go, they’re spectacular.As Darren was keen to surpass the M3 in both driveability and functionality

he needed to make some serious changes. Impressed with the dampeningcontrol available from the factory in the new V8 flagship Darren went onthe hunt for a comparable set-up.

Evolve, a BMW tuning specialist eventually came across Bilstein’sB16 Ride Control suspension, developed for the spectacular NissanGTR. Darren’s car was the first E92 to be fitted with the kit, which

utilises switchable electronic dampers so drivers can easily adjustbetween Sport and Comfort mode from inside the cabin.

Just like the M3 the suspension can be tailored toward cruising andtown driving, soaking up the worst of the Britain’s pot-hole riddenroads. When it’s time Darren simply pushes a dash-mounted buttonand within a millisecond all four corners take on a new mantra. InSport mode this new Bilstein setup firms up a treat, reducing bodyroll and improving traction, steering response and feel. Even withthe 20” wheels the coupé changes direction with such poise andwith such a lack of drama you wonder if the optional ElectronicDamper Control fitted to the E92 M3 is worth the significantinvestment. It is unquestionably less effective and pronounced.

The next step was the differential. Now this may becontroversial, and I don’t think I’m alone in thinking this, butwere does BMW get off selling a near £40,000 coupé, one that isquite rightly billed as an Ultimate Driving Machine without alimited slip differential?

The fact that it does not even feature on the options list is asbaffling to me as a game of American football. If you are puttingmore than 250bhp into a rear-wheel drive car, a car aimed atdriving enthusiasts, then your customers will no doubt want toexploit that power. In England, a country with corners you needto go round, weather that you’re embarrassed to tell people aboutand roads that are as bumpy as a teenager’s face, a limited slip

differential is an essential bit of kit – especially if you like to gosideways from time to time!

Thank the lord then for Quaife, who now manufacture differentials

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DATA FILEENGINE: 3.0-litre twin-turbo diesel M57, Evolve remap, custom made Speed Religion

cat-back quad exhaust system

CHASSIS: 8.5x20” (front) and 10x20” (rear) Bilstein B16 Ride Control suspension.BMW Performance big brake kit six-pot front and four-pot rear calipers and365mm brake discs, Kahn black powder coated Graphite wheels wrapped in

245/30 (front) and 285/20 (rear) Bridgestone FX452 tyres

EXTERIOR: Full Hamann body kit including front and rear bumpers and sideskirts, E92 M3 door mirrors resprayed matt black, black kidney grille, E92 M3rear lip spoiler

INTERIOR: BMW performance seats, Bilstein ride controls, Laser Proparking sensor and laser jammer

ICE: Pioneer AVIC 3 sat nav, Bluetooth module, Diamond Audio three-wayspeaker system, HD Audio mid-range, HD Audio cross-overs, Alpine PDX4150 amp, Alpine PDX-1.600 amp, two Diamond Audio 6.5 under seat subs,JL Audio 7W10 sub

THANKS: Evolve for fitting and supplying the Bilstein B16 ride controlsuspension and the remap, Speed religion for Laser Pro laser jammer andwell priced parts, Autovogue for the inspiration for this project, and, ofcourse, my other half Michelle for putting up with what I do!

for every BMW you could care tomention. Take that BMW, you’ve misseda trick!

So Darren, like all proud parents, wantedthe very best. As he explains: “The Quaife

differential compliments the car so beautifully.With all that torque it can be difficult to get the

power down, especially when pulling off or out of a side road. With thenew diff you just plant your foot and you’re gone, no hesitation. It alsomeans that when the back breaks loose it does so in a progressive wayyou can control, without having to constantly prepare yourself for a doseof opposite lock.”

With the power constantly rising, new brakes were also required,completing the bespoke styling package. “I had seen the BMW Performancebrake setup on the 1 Series and loved it, but I was sure it would be hugelyoverpriced,” Darren laughs. “I paid £2500 for a big Brembo brake kit on mylast car, a 400bhp Golf R32, and that was just for the fronts – so I wasn’t sureit would be worth the investment. Instead I called Speed Religion to enquireand I was totally blown away by its prices. The complete kit, including six-pot front calipers, discs and pads and a four-pot rear system came in at just£1200 fully-fitted!”

We couldn’t believe it either but having checked out Speed Religion’swebsite (www.speedreligion.net) we can indeed confirm Darren’s story. Infact the entire front and rear kit is now available for just £1026.69. Havingjust handed over near enough £500 for a set of replacement front discs andpads for the M Coupé I’m currently feeling a little silly.

Despite the brakes’ gorgeous looks they are also hugely effectivethanks to the 365mm discs. Darren was so impressed by them that healso entrusted the firm to build him a cat-back exhaust system. With itsquad pipes it fills the Hamann rear bumper acutely and really looks thepart. However it’s the sound that impresses most. With a blindfoldyou’d be forgiven for thinking this was the rasp of a V10, making iteven more of an accomplishment.

With the chassis in order Darren was pleased as punch with hisnew toy and was by all accounts finished with his project. Well hewas until he found Evolve, specialists in BMW mapping and customsoftware! Evolve quoted him terrific performance numbers which itguaranteed could be backed up with the results from its dyno.

Darren explains: “I loved the genuine interest the Evolve guyshad in helping customers. I mean this in the best possible waybut these guys are anoraks, computer wizards and technogeniuses. And after I saw various dyno maps of previouscustomers’ cars I just had to see if Evolve could do what itclaimed it could.”

And did it? Well, of course! The most recent dyno chartrevealed the car’s power had risen to a catastrophic 359bhpand 575lb ft of torque. That’s a proved 73bhp gain and147lb ft of torque more than the standard car. Thesefigures translate into a machine capable of hitting60mph in just five seconds, and one that in the mid- totop-range, will wave sayonara to an E92 M3.

With the 335d’s handling and grunt now punchingwell above its weight the car was complete. It justneeded a bit of entertainment for those Comfortdrives, so Darren went to town with the help ofBishop’s Stortford’s Audiofile. Inside there is now ahost of Diamond and HD audio upgrades – from anentire speaker system to under-seat and boot JLAudio subs, Alpine amps and Pioneer sat nav ladenscreen. Clarity and quality of the output is top-notch.

From every angle Darren’s 335d is an absolutewinner. A performance weapon, a motorway cruiserand a genuine head turner. However, it’s when yourealise that the smooth acceleration, awesomeexhaust note and devastating overtaking potential arecoming from a diesel engine, a diesel that returns44mpg it makes it all the pertinent. It’s no M3 or 335iand that’s the point, it’s better! ●

16 PERFORMANCE BMW

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