A support program for

grieving children, Teens &

the people who love them.

Our mission is to provide safe and nurturing peer support programming for children, preschool–18, and their families who have experienced the death of a loved one.

Tides provides a non-judgmental and healing atmosphere where families learn they are not alone in their grief and can express their thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Raising awareness of the needs of grieving children in our schools and surrounding communities is also key to the Tides program initiatives.

Our core purpose is to assist grieving children and teens as they rediscover hope and meaning in their lives.

• • •

In this issue:Our new Program Director

Your Rights this HolidayTides in the Community

NEWSLETTER VOL. 7 | December 2016

CURRENT CONNECTIONS

www.tidesprogram.org

Magical Moments

Volunteers Mike Cullin and Zach Maser led some of our Tides kids in magical song before everyone enjoyed the comedy and magic of

John Westford on October 14. After the show, we couldn’t help thinking about the countless magical moments at TIDES. We stand in our closing circle and a 7-year-old shares that he loves TIDES because it helps take away the tears. A child whose Pop-Pop died the very morning of TIDES tells her Mom she wants to go and be with us because “we have her back.” A teen’s anger is subdued while petting a therapy dog and later shares she wants to go to another TIDES meeting. A 5-year-old girl assures the adult facilitators, “it is okay to be sad and cry.” Our youngest group made ‘grief soup,’ made with lots of tears, angry meatballs and holes--for the holes in our hearts. In addition they discussed the Disney movies, Finding Nemo, Lion King, Frozen. When asked what all this death is about, one 5-year-old said, “It’s to let us know that people will die and we will be okay.” Do we believe in magic? Well yes, and we hope you do, too.

On October 13, 2016 Evelyn Wald became the new Program Director for TIDES. Evelyn is one of the TIDES’ founders and has been a volunteer leader with the

young children’s group for almost 13 years.

Evelyn is also a grief and loss therapist and facilitates a variety of grief support groups in our community. Evelyn is excited about this new position and looks forward to working with Suzanne, our Executive Director, the families and our dedicated volunteers.

Evelyn is committed to the mission and brings energy, spirit, joy and a wide range of special hats and clothing to enhance our TIDES experience. We couldn’t be more grateful to welcome, Evelyn, to this new role!

T hank you. Two small words that express so much. In August, I made the difficult decision to

step down as the Program Director of Tides in order to accept a position in the Emergency Department at MNMC. This new job allows me to contribute more financially to my family. Over the last two months, I have had the opportunity to reflect on how my time at Tides has changed me. To be honest, I do not know who I would be without Tides. I have learned so much from the children, teens and adults who have allowed me into their sacred space at a time when life hurts. I have learned the importance of being present and listening. I have learned the courage it takes to seek support and make oneself vulnerable. I have also witnessed the need to mourn in order to heal and live life forward. In my new line of work, I am reminded day after day of the impact grief and loss has in a person’s life. Loss is more than death. It is a diagnosis, an end to a relationship, or loss of identity. For some, loss is financial security, their home, independence or the aging process. For others, it is shattered dreams or loss of control of what the future may bring. I continue to see loss every day in my new job. However, it is through loss that I witness hope, strength, humility and genuine-ness. To me, this is the beauty of life. As I step down from my role as the Program Director at Tides, I am grateful for our Tides families, volunteers and community members who have supported our program over the years. Tides changes lives. It has changed me. Thank you. –Holly

Sally Best has been with Tides for seven years. She has worked with various adult groups at Tides, most recently those who have lost a spouse. Sally is honest, sensitive,

witty and genuine. She is able to laugh and cry with our families and she has been an audition judge for Happy Valley’s Got Talent. Remarkably, Sally has talent of her own too, she loves to sing and be on stage! Her husband, Joe, keeps her grounded and her family and faith are her rock. In addition to Tides, Sally serves on the board of Bridge of Hope. Sally’s life involves helping others.

Sally was honored at the Rose Cologne Volunteer of the Year Dinner in April. Please join us in congratulating her for her dedication to Tides and the families we serve.

Sally Best: 2016Volunteer of the Year

Sally Best

Turning of the Tide

Tides announcesnew Program Director

Message from the Director:

I can easily tell you what Tides does, as our mission is clear – we provide grief and loss support for kids ages 3–18 and their adult family members following a significant death in their lives. What I struggle to do is adequately describe what Tides IS. Tides IS a program that no one wants to have to come to, but the fact is, people are coming. We continue to see tremendous growth —a 175% increase over 3 years. 9 new families since October!

I have the privilege of feeling Tides, seeing Tides, and experiencing Tides but how do I convey what Tides IS? It all comes down to one word - COURAGE. When the word courage first came into the English language, it came from the Latin word ‘cor’ meaning ‘heart’ which was defined as telling the story of who you are with your whole heart. Our family’s lives are forever altered because of the death of their loved one, something they did not, and would not, choose. Yet they show up and share their story with no guarantee. That takes courage. That IS Tides.

I hope that if you have faced loss by death you’ve had the opportunity to experience a safe place like Tides in which to share your story with your whole heart. If you haven’t, but would like to, or know someone who could benefit, there is love here. There is vulnerability here. There is connection here. This is Tides.Please consider making a contri-bution so that we may continue providing the unique community that occurs at Tides to any child, teen or adult who would like to share their experience (free of charge) for years to come. Thank you and Happy Holidays!

Holly Torbic

Evelyn Wald

SAVE THE DATE Saturday, March 18 | 7pm

AUDITIONS: February 27 & 28

7TH ANNUAL

When a death occurs in a family, it impacts everyone. Tides can be a place where families seek companionship and support to help with their grief. But what about when a death occurs in our community? And the person who died was a boss, a teacher, a co-worker or a friend? Where can those left behind find support? Tides. The number of calls we receive from local businesses, school districts, agencies and more have steadily increased. We support people in these places by establishing a safe environment, providing educational information and managing the conversations.

Another aspect of Tides that many aren’t familiar with is our goal to raise awareness of the needs of grieving children. The way we accomplish this is by providing educational presentations to profes-sionals in and around Centre County. We’ve talked to educators, hospital administrators, para educators, pre-school and after school care workers, nurses, church staff, etc. and, we’ve presented at local and regional conferences, and rotary and Kiwanis clubs.

We also own an extensive resource library that enables us to loan invaluable books and articles to families and professionals in the community should they request them.

Tides is honored to serve our community in these ways, but the only way we can continue to offer these unique and invaluable opportunities is with help from you. The Waves of Caring (outlined on the pledge form below) gives our donors an idea of exactly how their donations are used at Tides.

Yes, I want to support grieving Families at tides!Please accept my tax-deductible gift of:¨$25 pays for 5 children for

1 night at Tides.

¨$50 pays for teen group for 1 night at Tides.

¨$100 provides support to 4 families for 1 night at Tides.

¨$350 pays for dinner and supplies for all of our Tides families and volunteers for 1 night.

¨Other $

¨My gift is in Memory or Honor of

Please circle in Memory or Honor of. If you would like to have your gift acknowledged to another person or family, please complete the section on the reverse side.

Convenient payment options: Please charge my gift to:

¨VISA ¨MasterCard ¨American Express ¨Discover

Credit Card Number

Security Code (3 digits) Expiration Date

¨Send check payable to “Tides” (P.O. Box 1251, State College, PA 16804)

¨Make a secure online payment at www.tidesprogram.org.

Tides, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent permitted by law.A copy of the latest IRS filings can be viewed at www.guidestar.org.

¨$500 provides Tides night programming for one family for one year.

¨$1,000 helps us to provide a special event for all of our Tides families.

¨$5,000 would pay for dinner, crafts and supplies for all Tides families for one programming year.

* Please note credit card information below.

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WHY OUR COMMUNITY NEEDS TIDESAND TIDES NEEDS OUR COMMUNITY

The Griever’s HolidayBill of RightsBy Bruce H. Conley1. You have a right to say “time out.” Any time you need to, take a “time out” to let up, blow off a little steam, step away from the holidays, have a quiet moment and start over.2. You have a right to tell it like it is. When people ask, “How are you?” you have the right to tell them how you really feel, not just what they want to hear.3. You have the right to some “bah humbug” days. You don’t have to be jolly and upbeat all of the time.4. You have the right to do things differently. There is no law that says you must always do the holidays the same way. You can do ten cards instead of hundreds, or no cards at all! You can open presents at someone else’s house. You can eat pizza instead of turkey!5. You have the right to be where you want to be. Be at home or with relatives. Be in any city or state of your choice.6. You have the right to have some fun. When you have a day that isn’t so bad and you feel like doing something fun, then do it. Don’t be afraid of what someone else will say if they see you laughing and having a good time. Laughter is just as important as tears.7. You have the right to change directions in mid-stream. Holiday grief is unpredictable. You may be all ready to go somewhere or do something and suddenly be overwhelmed. When that happens, it’s okay to change your mind. There’s plenty of time in life to be predictable. Exercise your right to change when you need to.8. You have the right to do things at different times. Go to church at different times. Open presents at a different time. Serve your meal at a different time. Give up and go to bed at a different time! Don’t be a slave to the holiday clock.9. You have the right to rest, peace and solitude. You don’t need to be busy all the time. Take a nap whenever you need one. Take time to pray and to meditate, to recharge your spirit. It may do you much more good than eating another huge meal! 10. You have the right to do it all differently again next year. Just because you change things one year—you know, try something different—does not mean you have written it in stone. Next year, you can always change it back or do it in yet another way.

Credit: http://blog.crossroadshospice

Tussey Mountain Tubing for our families, Arielle Ettinger is our student Intern, Tides Kids Give Back for Birthdays,

Grief & Loss Education, 6th Annual Happy Valley’s Got Talent Show, We Built a Home, Sally Best named Volunteer of the Year, Centre Gives, Silpada Jewelry event, Private BBQ benefit, Volunteer training, We made new friends, Appalachian Outdoors pint night event, New Therapy dogs to give love, Grief Matters Seminar, Wings of Hope event, John Westford Magic show, Said Good-bye to Holly as Program Director and welcomed Ev as new Program Director, Hershey Medical Center doctor

education, Children’s Grief Awareness Day, Penn State RPTM students event, Local Community help, Music for a Cause event, Alternative Christmas Fair, Festival of Trees, PASCP Nutcracker performance and Compassionate Friends candle lighting. We

welcomed 16 new families, and our volunteers served 1,992 slices of pizza. A SPECIAL THANK YOU: On behalf of all of our Tides families and volunteers, we would like to say Thank You to the members of this community who have supported our program in big ways and small. Because of you, Tides continues to be a safe place for grieving families. Please go to our website (under the Ways to Give menu: http://tidesprogram.org/for-donors/thank-you/ ) for a complete list of our supporters and to view photographs from events.

2016 Year in ReviewA SNAPSHOT OF OUR ACTIVITIES & MILESTONES:

BOARD OF DIRECTORS:

PO Box 1251 State College, PA 16804

Phone: 814.692.2233

Tides™ Making Positive Waves in Our Community

Charlie Biddle President

Phil DubrowLeslie FintonMandy HartleySteve Hurvitz

Jeanne KnouseR. Clair MillerKim NeelyTerry PowersAl PringleMolly Snavely

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