Cultural Differences in Parenting Practices:What Asian American Families Can Teach Us

putting research to work for youth and families

In the United States, what most peopleconsider good parenting is based onmiddle class European Americanbehaviors. These behaviors include displaysof warmth and closeness balanced withmonitoring and control. A new book edited byDr. Stephen T. Russell, Fitch Nesbitt EndowedChair, and director of the Frances McClellandInstitute for Children, Youth and Families,highlights important parenting differencesbetween European and Asian Americans. At firstglance, Asian American parents appear to showless warmth and to be more controlling of theirchildren. Yet their children often do just as well astheir European counterparts. Their parentingstyle may reflect differences in what warmth andcontrol mean in their culture. Such differencessuggest that existing ideas about parenting maynot fit all populations of youth and their families.Studies of Asian American families shed lighton new dimensions of parenting that matter forall families.

Research on Parenting Styles andParent-Adolescent Relationships

How do we know which parenting strategiespromote children’s well-being, and which leadto poor outcomes? Mainstream thinkingabout parenting and parent-child relation-ships has been guided by Western culturalbeliefs and images about parenting andfamily life. These beliefs and images tellus what it means to be parents and whatparent-adolescent relationships aresupposed to be like.

Scientific research, too, has reflecteddominant Western ideas about parentsand adolescents. Most studies of family

relationships have been conducted in theUnited States with a focus on EuropeanAmerican (White) families; they have beenbased on the assumption that the meaningof parenting is similar across cultures. Suchthinking hides important differences in whatcultures expect of and understand aboutparenting and parent-adolescent relationships.

Authoritative versusAuthoritarian Parenting

For White Americans, the parenting stylemost related to psychological well-being foradolescents is called authoritative parenting.

• Studies on these families stress two keybehaviors: support (hugging and praisingchildren) and control (setting clear expec-tations and moderate limits). In manyWestern cultures, such behaviors areevidence that parents are warm andaccepting of their children.

• Adolescents whose parents provide highsupport and moderate control tend to bebetter off; they cope better with problems,do well in school, and have less delinquencyand depression.

Another parenting style is authoritarian, inwhich parents show low support (appearvery strict) and high control (tightly monitortheir children).

• According to Western beliefs, thesebehaviors are seen as likely to damageadolescents’ well-being.

• Although authoritative parenting can benefitother ethnic groups, it is not necessarilymore beneficial than authoritarian parenting.For example, first-generation Chinese youthfrom authoritarian homes do just as well inschool as those from authoritative homes.

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Cultural Differences in Parenting Practices:What Asian American Families Can Teach Us

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A Strategic Focus for New Researchon Parenting

Asian Americans are a strategic focus for new researchabout the role of culture in parenting and parent-adolescentrelationships because:1. They are among the fastest growing ethnic groups inthe United States.

2. In Asian American culture, parents support their childrenand regulate their behavior, but in very different ways thanWhite American parents.

Compared to White American parents, Asian Americanparents may appear stricter and lacking in warmth. Thisstrictness reflects Asian immigrant parents’ belief that

control is not only necessary, but a key role for parents.To these parents, strictness is an attempt to protect children,not inhibit them. In other words, control and warmth aredefined differently for Asian parents, so authoritarianparenting means something different, too.

Also of note is that Asian American ethnic groups oftendiffer in the degree of support and control that parentsshow. For example, Chinese and Filipino Americans are thetwo largest Asian American subgroups in the United States.Although they share an Asian cultural origin, they have verydistinct identities and histories. As a result, their family lifeseems similar in some ways but different in others (see“Characteristics of Chinese and Filipino American Cultureand Families”).

Chinese culture is largely influenced by Confucian philosophy.This philosophy emphasizes respect for authority, devotion toparents, emotional restraint, and the importance of education:• Chinese parenting practices are based on the concepts of

chiao shun (to train) and guan (to govern and to love).• Parents who want to train their children are very involvedin their children’s lives; they show high levels of concernfor them.

• For Chinese Americans, parenting becomes more difficultin the years following immigration. Physical discipline andother practices typical in China are less accepted in theUnited States.

Expectations for Chinese American children are high:• Adolescents are responsible for many family functions,including caring for siblings and family members, cleaningthe home, and cooking meals.

• A child’s duty to the family is an accepted norm in ChineseAmerican households.

Chinese parents are not necessarily driven to control theirchildren; instead, they are expected to teach their childrenhow to maintain harmony with others.• For example, emotional expression is considered harmful toone’s health and relationships, and children are encouragedto avoid it.

• Such practices create the context for “saving face.” Thisvalue or behavior is related to shame because it rewardsconformity to society’s expectations for propriety andharmony.

Characteristics of Chinese and Filipino American Culture and Families

Filipino Americans have a long history of Catholic and Spanishinfluence, followed by U.S. occupation or colonization untilthe 1970s:• As a result, Filipino Americans tend to be based more onequality than hierarchy. Family culture allows for affectionand closeness, and parents act as protectors of children,particularly daughters.

• Filipino American family relationships are interdependent,and family members depend upon each other for support.

• These relationships are based on the concept of utang ngloob (reciprocal relationships). This is a debt of gratitudeyou have for others. It is often not clear when a debt hasbeen fully paid, so the relationship is ongoing.

Filipino American children feel strong obligations to supportthe family:• They provide daily help to maintain the household and takecare of siblings.

• Both husband and wife share financial and family decision-making.

• Like Chinese Americans, Filipino American women are theprimary caretakers of children.

Families also use hiya, which refers to “shame” or “sense ofpropriety,” as a means of creating conformity.• Hiya occurs when one fails to meet expectations or actsin ways that meet with disapproval from family membersor others.

• Parents also teach pakikisama. This refers to getting alongwith others—even if it conflicts with one’s own desires—tocreate group harmony.

C U L T U R A L I N F L U E N C E S

P A R E N T I N G / F A M I L Y P R A C T I C E S

Cultural Differences in What Defines“Good” Parenting

A group of researchers looked at whether Western parentingpractices were valued in similar ways in Asian Americancultures. The purpose was to understand whether Whiteand Asian Americans had different understandings ofwhat parental support and control mean. They askedthree broad questions:

1. Do support and control mean the same thing fordifferent cultural groups?The researchers examined survey questions about supportand control using data from a large national study (theNational Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health).White, Chinese, and Filipino American youth reported oncloseness to their parents and freedom from parents tomake decisions. Did support and control mean the samethings for White and Asian American adolescents? Whiteand Filipino American youth had very similar responsesto the questions; Chinese American youth’s responseswere often very different. These differences suggest thatChinese American youth think of support and controldifferently than White or Filipino Americans.

2. Does parental sacrifice mean the same thing as parentalsupport for Asian youth?In Asian cultures, parents often show their love forchildren through “instrumental” support; that is, theymake sacrifices. For example, many immigrant parentsleft their home country where they had higher payingjobs for better opportunities in the United States. Theyhope to increase educational chances and upward move-ment for their children. They not only make sure theirchildren’s daily needs are met, but they provide resourcesto ensure their children succeed in school. Using data froma survey study of more than 900 high school students, theresearchers compared Filipino and Chinese Americanadolescents. Both groups reported that parents showedacceptance and care through instrumental support ratherthan verbal expressions (e.g., “I love you”). In other words,parental sacrifice was central to what parental supportmeant to them.

3. How do Chinese and Filipino youth define what parentalsupport and control mean?In a focus group study, 40 Chinese and Filipino adolescentswere asked what a good relationship with their parentsmeant to them. Many youth said they “just knew” thatparents care from the things their parents did. This findingshows that less obvious behaviors may be central to their

understanding of good relationships and parental support.In addition, there were several other key findings:

• Many Asian girls struggled with the conflict betweenU.S. images of mother-daughter closeness and Asiancultural values of respect for authority.

• For Chinese American boys, fathers were providers,authority figures, and role models. For ChineseAmerican girls, closeness and affection were notrealistic between fathers and daughters; many feltthey had to keep secrets from their immigrant fathersto protect them.

• In contrast, for Filipino Americans, boys describedfathers as friends as well as providers; girls describedfathers as affectionate and felt that fathers make aneffort to talk with them.

• Both groups of boys described their mothers’ instru-mental activities such as cooking and housework asshowing care. But Filipino American boys also describedmaternal support as including trust and affection.

• For Chinese American girls, relationships withmothers were based on respect and honor for elders,and obligation to family. Filipinas consistentlydescribed their mother’s caring behavior as strict;to reduce that strictness, they spoke about needing todevelop trust with their mothers by being open.

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Implications of Findings

1. Professionals who work with Asian youth needto be sensitive to cultural differences in parents’behaviors and expectations. How Asian parentssupport and monitor their children may differfrom White parents because those conceptsmean different things to them. For example,Chinese American adolescents report lowerparental warmth perhaps because their parentsshow “care” differently than Western parents.

2.When studying parenting practices, other factorsbesides warmth and control are important toconsider, such as parental sacrifice. Parents inmost cultures make sacrifices for their children,yet this dimension is not highlighted in studiesof White families. Yet in Asian American cultures,both parents and children highly value instru-mental support; that is, meeting children’s dailyneeds and helping them succeed in school.

3. Ethnic minority children actively deal with andinteract with multiple cultures. They could betaught how to manage dual contexts effectively

by understanding both ethnicand dominant cultural norms ofparenting.

4. Knowing cultural differences inparenting styles is crucial for policymakers. What we expect of families andthe policies we create for them may notfit well with ethnic minority populationswhose parenting styles differ from thedominant model.

FundingThis research was funded by grants HD R01039438 from the National Institute of ChildHealth and Human Development to L. Crockettand S. Russell and HD R01 38949-02 from theNational Institute of Child Health and HumanDevelopment to R. Chao. ResearchLink ispublished through the generous support ofthe Frances McClelland Institute for Children,Youth and Families endowment.

This ResearchLink summarizes the following book:Russell, S. T., Crockett, L. J., & Chao, R. (Eds.)(2010). Asian American parenting and parent-adolescent relationships. For R. Levesque(Series Ed.), Advancing responsible adolescentdevelopment. New York: Springer.

Suggested citation for this ResearchLink:Van Campen, K. S., & Russell, S. T. (2010).Cultural differences in parenting practices:What Asian American families can teach us(Frances McClelland Institute for Children,Youth, and Families ResearchLink, Vol. 2,No. 1). Tucson, AZ: The Universityof Arizona.

“Our research is not suggesting that

somehow Asian American parenting is

radically different from White American

parents,” says Dr. Stephen T. Russell,

Fitch Nesbitt Endowed Chair, director of the

Frances McClelland Institute for Children,

Youth and Families at The University

of Arizona, and the lead author of the book.

“We’re trying to show that parenting that

leads to optimal development for adolescents

can differ by culture in important ways.”