Katrina Elizabeth Ware and Felix Hollis McGee were married on Aug. 2, 2008,at Christ the King Church in Indianapolis. The bride is the daughter ofChrist the King parishioners Michael and Denise Ware of Indianapolis.The groom is the son of Felix and Cynthia McGee of Waukegan, Ill.Marianist Father Eugene Contadino, a faculty member of the University ofDayton in Ohio, celebrated the nuptial Mass.

Photography by Breana Alexa Boellner

CriterionThe SPRING MARRIAGE SUPPLEMENT

Page 10 Spring Marriage Supplement The Criterion Friday, February 6, 2009

Allen-StuberJennifer Lauren Allen andKevin Allen Stuber will bemarried on May 16 at St. Pius XChurch in Indianapolis. Thebride is the daughter of Rick andNannette Allen. The groom is theson of Joe and Theresa Stuber.

Jones-SmithEllen Elizabeth Jones andMathew David Smith will bemarried on April 18 atSt. Matthew the Apostle Churchin Indianapolis. The bride is thedaughter of Thomas and EileenJones. The groom is the son ofLeigh Jennings.

Keating-RichardsAmy Keating and Scott Richardswere married on Jan. 3 atSt. Jude Church in Indianapolis.The bride is the daughter ofBeverly Keating and the lateJohn Keating. The groom is theson of Dennis Richards and JeanRichards.

Recio-NaughtonMichelle Recio and Tom Naughtonwill be married on June 6 atSt. Louis de Montfort Church inFishers, Ind., in the LafayetteDiocese. The bride is the daughterof Bernard and Eva Recio. Thegroom is the son of Joseph andJune Naughton.

Rennekamp-RobbenIrene Diana Rennekamp andHerbert Anthony Robben will bemarried on May 30 at St. Johnthe Evangelist Church inEnochsburg. The bride is thedaughter of Donald and CarolynRennekamp. The groom is theson of Harry and KathleenRobben.

Richie-FrenchAmy Lela Elizabeth Richie andAaron Joseph French weremarried on Oct. 18, 2008 atSS. Philomena and CeciliaChurch in Oak Forest. The brideis the daughter of RichardRichie. The groom is the son ofJohn and Sarah French.

Smith-JansenStefanie Anne Smith andGregory John Jansen will bemarried on Aug. 8 at SS. Francisand Clare Church in Greenwood.The bride is the daughter ofFrank and Marie Smith. Thegroom is the son of John andSusan Jansen.

Strahl-BrattainTonya Sue Strahl and Mark AlanBrattain will be married onJune 27 at St. ChristopherChurch in Indianapolis. Thebride is the daughter of Ronaldand Sandra Lynch. The groom isthe son of Robert and VeraBrattain.

Summers-BombeiMarie Summers andSteve Bombei will be married onJuly 18 at Our Lady ofMount Carmel Church inCarmel, Ind., in the LafayetteDiocese. The bride is thedaughter of Barney and RobinSummers. The groom is the sonof Ron and Mary Bombei.

Summers-PfarrAndrea Summers andMatthew Pfarr will be married onJune 5 at St. Barnabas Church inIndianapolis. The bride is thedaughter of Barney and RobinSummers. The groom is the sonof Michael and Brenda Pfarr.

Troutman-LecherKathryn A. Troutman andAndrew J. Lecher will be marriedon July 11 at St. John theEvangelist Church inEnochsburg. The bride is thedaughter of James and CaryTroutman. The groom is the sonof Steven and Edith Lecher.

Wagner-KappelLaura Elizabeth Wagner andJoseph William Kappel will bemarried on June 13 atGood Shepherd Church inIndianapolis. The bride is thedaughter of John and JeanWagner. The groom is the son ofJoseph and Sara Kappel.

Wilkens-CarrJennifer Lucinda Wilkens andDwight Webster Carr will bemarried on May 2 at St. Margaretof Scotland Church inMaggie Valley, N.C. The bride isthe daughter of Robert and MaryJane Wilkens Sr. The groom isthe son of Richard and Eula Carr.

Zeilinga-MollRuth Ann Zeilinga andSteven Brian Moll will bemarried on June 27 at St. RoseChurch in Knightstown. Thebride is the daughter of Fred andKathy Zeilinga. The groom is theson of Dan Moll and JanJohnstone. †

Bedel-WaechterTina Jean Bedel and John JosephWaechter II will be married onJune 13 at St. John theEvangelist Church inEnochsburg. The bride is thedaughter of Ambrose and CathyBedel. The groom is the son ofJohn and Linda Waechter.

Ford-DelaneySarah A. Ford and Daniel R.Delaney will be married onApril 18 at Our Lady of the MostHoly Rosary Church in Indian-apolis. The bride is the daughterof Mark and Marie Ford. Thegroom is the son of Hal andKaren Delaney.

Gray-FundenbergerShelley Lynn Gray andMonte Christopher Fundenbergerwill be married on July 4 atSt. Luke the Evangelist Churchin Indianapolis. The bride is thedaughter of Nancy Gray and thelate Donald W. Gray. The groomis the son of Martin and JoyceFundenberger.

Heider-WyandKelly Heider and J.P. Wyand willbe married on April 18 atSt. Joan of Arc Church in Indian-apolis. The bride is the daughterof Randy and Carol Heider. Thegroom is the son of John Wyandand Mary Ann Wyand.

❧

The Fall MarriageSupplement will bepublished in theJuly 17, 2009, issueof The Criterion.

WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS

“Arusi” is Kiswahili for “marriage celebration.”An Arusi retreat is an experience designed for

Christian marriages, and an opportunity todiscover ways that your marriage is part of God’s plan, not just for yourselves, but also forthe community.

Andrew and Terri Lyke, co-directors of Lyke toLyke Consultants in Chicago, will facilitate thefirst Arusi Marriage Retreat offered in thearchdiocese on March 20-22 at the Benedict InnRetreat and Conference Center, 1402 SouthernAve., in Beech Grove.

The Lykes are nationally recognized leaders inmarriage preparation and enrichment, and he isthe coordinator of Marriage Ministry for theArchdiocese of Chicago.

They also direct Arusi Network Inc., a not-for-profit ministry that focuses on encouraging andstrengthening marriage in the African-Americancommunity.

The retreat is sponsored by the archdiocesanOffice of Multicultural Ministry and theArchdiocese of Indianapolis Black CatholicCaucus.

The retreat will help couples create or revisetheir mission statement so their marriage is aninstrument of God’s love.

Couples will review their life stories, refresh

their relationship, recreate their romance,reconcile broken promises, renew their weddingvows, and recommit to a God-centered marriagethat focuses on primacy, empowerment, protectionand prayer.

(The registration fee is $70 per couple. For moreinformation, call the archdiocesan Office ofMulticultural Ministry at 317-236-1562 or 800-382-9836, ext. 1562.) †

File

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Arusi retreat celebrates Christian marriage

Andrew and Terri Lyke

The Criterion Friday, February 6, 2009 Spring Marriage Supplement Page 11

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A Place to Be … With God!

Two marriage preparation programsoffered in the archdiocese help prepareengaged couples for the sacrament aswell as the challenges of married life.

Pre Cana Conference programs arescheduled on Feb. 22, March 1,April 26, May 17, June 7, July 12,Aug. 16 and Oct. 18 at Our Lady ofFatima Retreat House, 5353 E. 56thSt., in Indianapolis.

The program presented by thearchdiocesan Office ofFamily Ministries and volunteersbegins at 1:45 p.m. and concludes at 6p.m. on Sunday.

Registration is required. To register,log on to www.archindy.org/family.

A $40 fee per couple helps pay forthe Perspectives on Marriageworkbook, other materials andrefreshments. The registration fee isnon-refundable.

Tobit Weekends are scheduled atOur Lady of Fatima Retreat House onMay 15-17, June 5-7, July 10-12 andSept. 18-20.

The registration fee of $280includes the program presented bytrained facilitators, meals andovernight accommodations for theweekend. A $150 non-refundabledeposit is required at the time ofregistration. To register, log on towww.archindy.org/fatima. †

Pre Cana and Tobit Weekendprepare couples for marriage

By Sean Gallagher

The Catholic Church around the worldhas focused on the teachings and example ofSt. Paul in this year dedicated to him.

In his day, St. Paul presented in hispreaching and letters a vision of the Gospelthat attracted many people to the Christianfaith.

At the same time, he often challenged hisaudience to re-examine their lives in waysthat made many people feel uncomfortable.

What is true about Paul’s presentation ofthe faith in general is true about hisapproach to Christian marriage in particular.

His most extensive commentary uponmarriage is found in his Letter to theEphesians (Eph 5:21-33).

Paul begins by exhorting spouses in hisaudience “to be subordinate to one anotherout of love for Christ” (Eph 5:21).

What immediately follows is a teachingthat is controversial today: “Wives, besubordinate to your husbands as to theLord” (Eph 5:22).

Some versions of the Bible read“submissive” instead of “subordinate.”

Pia de Solenni can understand why somereaders of St. Paul’s letters might want toput him down after reading such a verse.

But the Roman-trained, Catholic moraltheologian, and national speaker on pro-lifeand marriage issues said that before doingthat it is important to distinguish betweentwo kinds of submissiveness.

“There’s a servile submissiveness inwhich you give up your will, as a slave orservant does,” said de Solenni. “And then

there’s more of an economic or civic submis-siveness where one person is the leader, but

you’re all equal.”According to

de Solenni, thesubmissiveness thatPaul wrote about wasthe latter and, in anycase, needs to beviewed in the contextof the Church’shistoric view onwomen in general.

“The Church hasalways insisted on

the fundamental equality of men andwomen,” she said. “It’s the Church thatinsists that women have a right to makedecisions about their own lives, whetherthey want to marry and, ultimately, whomthey want to marry.”

For Damon Owens, a Catholic husbandand father of six children and national

speaker onmarriage, St. Paul’scontroversial wordsby no means givehusbands license tobe oppressivebecause of what theApostle wrote just afew verses later:“Husbands, loveyour wives as Christloved the Churchand handed himself

over for her” (Eph 5:25).“It’s clear,” said Owens. “Paul is saying

that masculine leadership in the home meansbeing like Christ to your bride as he was tothe Church: laying down your life for theirsalvation.”

Owens, who lives with his family innorthern New Jersey, has helped leadmarriage preparation and enrichmentprograms in the archdioceses of Newark andNew York. He also promotes Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”through his work at Ascension Press.

BenedictineFather Kurt Stasiak, aprofessor ofsacramental theologyat Saint MeinradSchool of Theologyin St. Meinrad, saidPaul’s call tohusbands was“revolutionary” in histime and remains sonow.

“In his time, forhusbands to be told to love their wives asChrist loved the Church was an incrediblecharge to give to men to take care of andrespect their wives,” Father Kurt explained.

Paul’s exhortation to both wives andhusbands should help engaged and marriedcouples today come to grips with the compli-mentary differences between men andwomen, said Owens.

“It becomes an occasion to help themto re-think how they can be men in thefullest sense without being oppressive,how they can be women in the fullestsense without being a doormat,” saidOwens. “Both of those are spoken directlyagainst by Paul, who’s calling out themaximum of both masculinity andfemininity for their joint happiness.”

De Solenni says this can be challengingtoday when spouses’ incomes are equal orthe wife is the family’s primary bread-winner.

“It [can be] really difficult to carve outthe leadership role for the husband,” shesaid. “But you have to be intentional aboutit. … It comes down to the idea ofleadership, equality and how that plays out.The key is going to be understanding thatbecause there are differences does not meanthat there’s inequality.”

Living out the sometimes trickydynamics between husband and wife can behard. But Paul sees the relationship as aliving sign of the bond between Christ andthe Church:

“ ‘For this reason a man shall leave hisfather and his mother and be joined to hiswife, and the two shall become one flesh.’This is a great mystery, but I speak inreference to Christ and the Church”(Eph 5:31-32, quoting Gn 2:24).

“I don’t know that we understand that[deep] level of intimacy,” de Solenni said.“[Everyone] wants to be loved. They wantto be able to love. They want intimacy. Theywant some type of security.”

The security found in marriage, which islinked to the relationship of Christ and theChurch, isn’t for just the here and now. It’salso about eternal security.

“[Marriage] is an explicit part of our pathto heaven,” Owens said. “ … I think Paulshould be credited with articulating just howour Lord elevated marriage to the dignity ofa sacrament.”

(To learn more about Pia de Solenni, log onto www.piadesolenni.com. To learn moreabout Damon Owens, log on towww.damonowens.com.) †

The great mystery of loveSt. Paul offers positive yet challenging vision of marriage

Pia de Solenni

Fr. Kurt Stasiak, O.S.B

Damon Owens

Page 12 Spring Marriage Supplement The Criterion Friday, February 6, 2009

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By Fr. Robert HausladenSpecial to The Criterion

“Be sure to leave room for theHoly Spirit,” a familiar dictum growing up,

those words ofwisdom still inspireme today.

I have to stop andask myself, “Howam I leaving roomfor the Holy Spirit?”

I am especiallymindful as I realizethat the Holy Spiritis Christ’s gift, hislegacy, and theextent to which there

is no room for the Spirit in my life, therealso is no room for Christ.

In reflection and prayer, I have becomeaware of three particular ways that we arecalled to “leave room”—in our day, in ourminds and in our hearts.

In our dayThe first way seems so simple, so

fundamental, and indeed it is. And yet, sooften we struggle with what is most basic toour relationship with God.

We need time for God. We need to leaveroom, space in our day, for prayer. We needtime—time to quiet ourselves, time to reflectand refocus, time to speak and time to listen.

Yes, it is hard to carve out space in ourdays, especially as so many things seem sopressing. Yet, we must never forget theHoly Spirit is a spirit of prayer.

In our mindsThe Holy Spirit is also a spirit of wisdom.

We read the following in the Gospel of John:“Jesus said to his disciples, ‘I have muchmore to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.

But when he comes, the spirit of truth, hewill guide you to all truth’ ” (Jn 16:12-13a).

This promise is fulfilled in and throughthe Church as celebrated at Pentecost. Thus,in order to be open to the Holy Spirit, wemust also be receptive to the truth as it isrelayed in Church teachings.

Openness to the Spirit through Churchteachings does not, however, simply meancategorically accepting whatever the Churchseems to espouse. To do so would be adisservice to ourselves, to the Church and tothe Holy Spirit.

While the fullness of the Spirit, alongwith its wisdom and truth, resides in theChurch, that same Spirit resides in each of usthrough the gift of baptism and thesacraments.

We do honor to the Spirit in ourselvesand in the Church only by engaging theChurch in her teachings as we allow them toinstruct and guide us. We must first clearlyknow what the Church teaches. Often, thisrequires questioning and sometimes evenchallenging Church teachings.

A wonderful example of people engagingthe Church in her teachings is chronicled inChapter 15 of the Acts of the Apostles. Thepeople of Antioch, Syria and Cilicia hadreceived contradictory messages from Pauland more recent visitors claiming torepresent the Church.

It is because the people questioned andchallenged the Church in her teachings thatthe Apostles and elders came together todiscern and clarify the truth. Thus, thepeople and the Church were enabled to growas the wisdom and truth of the Holy Spiritwas further revealed “in agreement with thewhole church” (Acts 15:22).

We must leave room for the Holy Spiritby learning Church teachings, even when itmeans questioning and challenging them. Toblindly accept or dismiss the wisdom of the

Church is to close oneself off to theHoly Spirit—for the Holy Spirit is a spirit oftruth.

In our heartsThe Holy Spirit is and must be what we

long for and desire. By nature, we areincomplete.

St. Augustine speaks of this want forcompletion and wholeness as a form ofrestlessness, and eventually he realized that,“My heart is restless, Lord, until it rests inyou.”

Christ speaks often of this restlessnessand longing as he assures us, “Be notafraid,” and he speaks time and again of his“peace.”

In John’s Gospel, Jesus offers the partingmessage, “Peace I leave with you; my peaceI give to you. Not as the world gives do Igive it to you. Do not let your hearts betroubled or afraid” (Jn 14:27).

Yet, it is puzzling when Christ speaks ofthis peacefulness in reference to theHoly Spirit. After all, the Holy Spirit seemsto be anything but peaceful. There is goodreason that the Holy Spirit is symbolized notas a gentle breeze and a warming ray ofsunlight, but as a gusting wind and aconsuming fire. The Holy Spirit turns ourlives and our very world upside down.

When Christ speaks of the gift of theHoly Spirit in terms of “peace,” there is anurge to respond, “I don’t think that wordmeans what you think it means.”

Christ’s “peace” is indeed “not as theworld gives.” It offers none of the securitywe have come to associate with “peace.”

Perhaps the greatest example ofChrist’s peace as experienced through theHoly Spirit is the Apostle Paul.

Inspired, filled with the Holy Spirit, Paulwould spend the rest of his life constantlystriving. He would travel throughout the

known world, he would encounter strangerafter stranger, and he would be embroiled incontroversy after controversy, often withmembers of his own Church.

He would be hated and despised, beaten,arrested, shipwrecked, stoned and left fordead more than once, and ultimatelyimprisoned and martyred.

Paul hardly lived what one wouldconsider a life of peace. And yet, to trulyunderstand, we must examine not merelythe consequences, but rather what enabled aman like Paul to endure. The willingnessand ability to suffer as well as theaccomplishments of men and women offaith are vivid testimonies to a power,strength and peace that only the Holy Spiritcan give.

“Leaving room for the Holy Spirit”means surrendering control and allowingone’s world to be turned upside down.

Perhaps this happens most frequentlythrough the gift of family. Few things shakeup one’s life more than having a spouse andchildren. Each life, each addition to one’sown life, requires further surrender.

While a spouse and children bring greatjoy, they also bring great uncertainty and thepotential for suffering. The sacrifice anduncertainty that love and family requirecannot be met without the assurance of thetrue peace of Christ, which is theHoly Spirit.

Therefore, openness to love and family isopenness to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spiritis a spirit of peace.

Be sure to leave room for the Holy Spirit:pray, learn and love.

(Father Robert Hausladen is the associatepastor of St. Pius X Parish and chaplain ofBishop Chatard High School, both inIndianapolis. He was ordained to thepriesthood in 2001.) †

‘Leave room for the Holy Spirit’ in daily life

Fr. Robert Hausladen