Creative Workshop October 12-13

532
Creative Workshop October 12-13 Herschell Gordon Lewis

Transcript of Creative Workshop October 12-13

Page 1: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Creative WorkshopOctober 12-13

Herschell Gordon Lewis

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Page 3: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A couple of preliminary

points…

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Part One:

Wordshave

octane.

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There are many options

open to the genuine “creative” individual.

Uh-oh!

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The writeralways

has a stronger wayto begin

a sales argumentthan the neutral phrase

“There is…”or

“There are….”

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If Michelangelo were painting today…

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Historically,where are

we?

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Fourthgenerationmusings…

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In a recent catalog:

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In a recent catalog:

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And 10 years from now…?

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Trends for the second half of the second decade of the 21st

century:1.Increasing informality2.Increasingly emphatic

persuasion3.Inclusion of validation4.Promise of fast action

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A universal reaction:

“I want it NOW.”

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Primitive but a good “pitch” because it builds around

immediacy:

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In sync with the

medium and

21st centur

y trends

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Click brings

up this…still in sync

with the medium and 21st century trends

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Interesting study.

Note who issued it.

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When you see this color screen, it’s for aQuick hands-on.

Please participate. What happens here

stays here.

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Sorry, you won’t hear them during this

diatribe:• Paradigm• Proactive• Win-win• Game plan• 24/7• Fast track• Customer-

centric

• At the end of the day

• Core competency• Think outside the

box• Knowledge-based• On the same

page

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Specifics outpull generalizations.

Remember that if you’re asked to write a sample piece of copy.

(You will be, in two minutes.)

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Take a look at the two most

famous advertisements

of all time … both are direct

response:

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Written in 1926…still much imitated today:•They grinned when the waiter spoke to me in French•They laughed when I told them how I beat stress•They laughed when I said I’d lose weightHundreds of others

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Could you match this famous ad that ran for 45 years?

Let’s look at the

power of one minor

word:

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If These Mistakeshad been This Mistake

the power would have beena fraction of what it was.

Why?

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Why would anyone bother reading

beyond thenonspecific headlines?

You can write better

wording than that.

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“There are many

reasons America’s leading

companies choose our

Direct Response

solutions” is student-level

copy.Rewrite to

add strength.

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Why is this email less effectivethan it might be?

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An absolute rule of force-

communication:One specific

example brings more response

than ten generalizations.

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Avoid these words in force-communication

messages:• quality• service• value• needs (as noun)

• “Remember,”

• What’s more

• Your partner in…

• When it comes to…

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Please, please:Never again write

“blah” phrases such as…

• Act now.• See your Toyota dealer today.

• Southwest Airlines means business.

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Impact increases with apparent warmth.

Example: start withBye now.

Move up slightly toSee you soon.

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Even what appears to be an insignificant

change to a question increases impact.

ConvertSee you soon.

toSee you soon?

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Personalization adds an emotional overtone:See you soon.

becomesI hope we’ll get together again

soon.

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Combining personalization with a question forces a

reaction:I hope we’ll get together again

soon.doesn’t begin to compete in

potency againstWill we get together

again soon?

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Inclusion reduces the possibility of rejection.

Example – replacingI’d like us to get together again

soon.with

We’ll get together again soon.

(Would this as a question be stronger? or weaker?)

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Can you relate those simple

examples to an analysis of your salesmanship in direct response

copy?

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Would you have

wasted the expense

and opportunity to reach commercia

l customers

as this bank did?

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Quick hands-on:Write a headline to

replace…Commitment.It’s all in our

approach.

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You know why we should NEVER slide

through word-choices without considering

whether even slightly different wording might have greater fractional

impact:RESPONSE.

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What is the differencebetween

3and

three?

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What is a more emotional word or

phrase than:• commence• utilize• omit• receive• we would like

to• large• you incur no

risk• circular• donate

• purchase• fortunate• requested• I write

concerning• we shall• error• perhaps• however• humorous

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What is the difference between:

• autumn and fall• at last and

finally• sexy and

sensual• nude and

naked• made and

manufactured• manufactured

by and built by

• right now and at once

• reply and respond

• insincere and not sincere

• eager and anxious

• audience and viewers

• died and passed away

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Note the difference in thrust, impact, and (vital

for us) selling power:“One in five Americans will experience identity

theft.”versus

“One in five people will be hit with identity theft.”

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Shift to active voice and watch as muscle

skyrockets:“One in five Americans will be hit with identity

theft.”versus

“Identity theft will smash into the lives of one in

five Americans.”

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What is the differencebetween

lifetime guarantee

andguaranteed for twenty years

?

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What is the differencebetween

guaranteed for twenty years

andguaranteed for

20 years?

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Spelling out a word adds dignity, formality, and importance. It

also may add distance between writer and reader. So choose based on the circumstance:

Mt. Olympus Mount Olympus

Ft. Lauderdale Fort Lauderdale

St. Jude Saint JudeDr. Smith Doctor SmithMr. Brown Mister BrownNo. 1 Number one

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Match words to thespecific demographic

you’re wooing:

inexpensive

cheap

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:Incorrect

Wrong

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“The senator declined to

comment.”“The senator declined to

answer.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“The senator declined to

answer.”“The senator refused to

answer.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“The thing is…”

“Get this.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“For the experienced

tourist.”“For the sophisticated

traveler.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“We killed the competition.”

“We destroyed the competition.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“We killed the competition.”

“We murdered the competition.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“It doesn’t work.”

“It just ain’t working.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“She’s a vice-president

of the agency.”“She’s vice-president of

the agency.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“Can you help us?”“Will you help us?”

Do you recognize the huge difference between

“Can you” and “Will you”?

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“If you order now, you’ll

get…”“Order now and you’ll

get…”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“You pay much less.”

“Others pay much more.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:Trousers

Pants

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:Tighten your tummy.Get rid of that gut.

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“We’ll even pay the

shipping costs.”“We’ll pay the shipping

costs.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“We’ll pay the shipping

costs.”“Free shipping.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“They’ll keep your feet

toasty warm.”“They’ll keep your toes

toasty warm.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“He kissed her on the

lips.”“He kissed her on the

mouth.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“Attention, seniors: We are conducting a clinical

trial for…”“Attention, seniors: A

research organization is conducting a clinical

trial for…”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“We lost the game.”“We blew the game.”

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Quick hands-on:Suggest a more

dynamic replacement for:

“A reply from you would be

appreciated.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“A reply from you would

be appreciated.”“We really do want your

reaction.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“The workshop will be

presented in your area.”“The workshop is in

your own town.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“In the event of your

death...”“If you should die....”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“Just $24.95 per

month.”“Just $24.95 a month.”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“As the owner of a small

business, you...”“Is yours a family-owned

business? Then...”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“Is there a problem with...?”

“Do you have a problem with...?”

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:$250,000

A quarter of a million dollars

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:Illegal immigrant

Undocumented alien

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Word use:Replace… with…must have toamong one ofutilize useperhaps maybebuy acquirepurchase ownspendallocatereceive get

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YOUR hand is on the trigger.

Don’t fire blanks.

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An easy and obvious litmus test for

both envelope copy and e-mail subject line:Does it grab

and is itrelevant?

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Relevance is as easy as this:

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Amateurish, not good grammar… but suggests personal and easy

reading

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The enclosur

e… What

are the pros and cons of

this approac

h?

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What image

does this offer

conjure up?

Positive or

negative?

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Aimed at not-for-profit

groups. What would

you have, as a

clearer message?

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Punctuation makes a huge difference:

• Money to invest• or…• Money to invest?

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Quick hands-on:Suggest a more

salesworthy replacement for:

“You can complete your Application

Formin less than one

minute.”

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Did you replace the word “Application” to

read… “You can complete

your Acceptance Form

in less than one minute”?

Now, make it a tad more convivial by

replacing one other word.

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YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“You can complete your

Acceptance Formin less than one

minute.”

“You can complete your Acceptance Form

in less than a minute.”

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BUT NEVER DRAW A COSMIC CONCLUSION.

In many situationsyou may prefer “one” to

“a”because

“one” is definiteand

“a” is indefinite.

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Superiority of the definite over the

indefinite:

•“The gem in each earring is a full carat.”• “The gem in each earring is one full carat.”

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The “Emotion over Intellect” Rule:

When emotion and intellect come into

conflict, emotion always wins.

The significance of this rule:An emotion-based sales argument will outsell an

intellect-based sales argument.

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The three bases of success in direct response writing

1.Verisimilitude2.Clarity3.Benefit

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Quick hands-on:How would you add

verisimilitude to this email?

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Which of these

brought the most response

?

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Benefit inforce-communication:

not, "What will it do?"

but, "What will it do for

me?"

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If you take nothing else away from this

workshop, remember this:

Imperativeoutpulls

declarative.

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Phony pitch (car came

with 5-year warranty) …

but cold imperative tone makes it credible to some.

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What is wrong with this

email?

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The Law of Tenses:

Present tense outsells future tense because

the present is now, and your prospect wants

benefits now.

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Present tense is more relevant than either future tense or past

tense. Use past tense to establish a historical

base. Use present tense to establish

position.

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"If you think that..." is a more potent opening

than "If you thought that..." because

present tense implies an immediate change of current attitude; past tense suggests

that whatever follows will be a revision of

history.

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Tying future to present tells the reader:

"This will be for all eternity."

Compare the meanings of these two approaches:

This is the seventh notification we've sent you. It's the last

one.or...

This is the seventh notification we've sent you. It will be the

last one.

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Emotion outsells Intellect...

Benefits are more emotional than

features...So benefits outsell

features.

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Whenis superior to Iffor suggesting

something will happen.If

is superior to Whenfor suggesting

something will not happen.

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The Generic Determination Rule:

The generic determines reaction more than the numbers.

More LessHalf a quart One pintHalf a kilo 500 gramsOne hour 60 minutesOne day 24 hoursOne month 30 daysOne mile 5,280 feetHalf a pound 8 ounces

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Hands-on practice:Rewrite this statement

for greater power:We’ll ship your order the next day, and it’s

guaranteed for 30 days.

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The Chronology Rule:When chronology is within

the experiential background of the message recipient, number of years is a more powerful selling weapon

than dates.So in the year 2013:

"A history of success since 2003" is weaker than...

"A solid 10-year history of success." Why?

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Information optimizing:

Directing or changing the reader’s or

viewer’s or listener’s perception without changing the facts.

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Information optimizing…

When should you useasterisks

(*)in selling copy?

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Information optimizing…

When should you useasterisks

(*)in selling copy?

Never.

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“The Asterisk Exception”:

A reader automatically anticipates a negative result from an asterisk

in either heading or text.

If you are announcing a positive, DO NOT use

an asterisk.

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The five types of comparatives:

• We’re better than they are.

• Unlike so-called competitors who…

• We’re the greatest.• We were marvelous before, and now we’re even better.

• Intended to sell for x-amount … yours for y-amount.

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Hands-on practice:Write a comparative

claim other than “We’re better than they are” for the organization you

represent.

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Information optimizing…

Parity Advertising:The statement seems to

imply superiority but actually only claims parity... "No bank

pays higher interest"; Nobody sells for less"; "We'll

meet any discount price."

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Hands-on practice:Write a “Parity”

statement for the organization you

represent.

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Information optimizing…

Opening a question with a positive statement directs

the answer:“This is what you want, isn’t

it?”is more likely to generate a

positive reaction than“Is this what you want?”

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Information optimizing…

The“Restoration/Preservation”

Rule:When promoting

personal improvement products,

restoration outpulls preservation.

Why?

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The three components of successful force-

communication:1.Basic psychology2.Vocabulary suppression3.Salesmanship equivalent

to that of a vacuum cleaner salesman in a department store

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Two ads, same advertiser.Which has both clarity and

impact?

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One of these pulled more than twice the response of the other. Which one? Why?

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Is this the

optimal way to contact

cold lists via

email?(Mice-type is below

here. On original,

you would scroll

down to see)

About Macromark:Macromark, Inc. is a leading, highly reputable and progressive acquisition, retention and monetization media company. Relying

on its experienced sales organization, aggressive marketing efforts and cutting edge IT support, Macromark will acquire new customers for you at the lowest possible cost and will maximize the revenue potential of your

most valuable asset, your customer file. The company also provides key e-commerce, print media, insert media and database marketing services. Today, Macromark is recognized as one of the industry's fastest-growing

direct marketing companies with over 300 consumer and business-to-business clients, in the US, Canada and Internationally.

Please go to this link to see all of this company's Business Announcements-or-

go to this link to add this company to your rolodex!

Brought to you by MacArthur Services - Business AnnouncementsMacArthur Services, 693 Cherry Avenue, Lake Forest IL, 60045 (847) 457-3122,

[email protected] mention this announcement when making inquiries!

Add a co-worker to receive Business Announcements

Update your info

O p t o u t : of future Business Announcements

Page 124: Creative Workshop October 12-13

This legend is in mice-type below the Gift

Card references:• About Macromark:Macromark, Inc. is a leading, highly reputable

and progressive acquisition, retention and monetization media company. Relying on its experienced sales organization, aggressive marketing efforts and cutting edge IT support, Macromark will acquire new customers for you at the lowest possible cost and will maximize the revenue potential of your most valuable asset, your customer file. The company also provides key e-commerce, print media, insert media and database marketing services. Today, Macromark is recognized as one of the industry's fastest-growing direct marketing companies with over 300 consumer and business-to-business clients, in the US, Canada and Internationally.

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Peculiar follow-up. Would you enter

information?

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Standard email offer.Click and…

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This appears.But within two seconds…

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This blocks out the image.Your opinion: More response, or less?

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Part Two:

The Great Laws and

the overriding Commandmen

t

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The First Great Law:

Reach and influence,at the lowest possible cost,

the most peoplewho can and should

respond.

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They need a course

in merge-purge. They

are my carrier.

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Mailing to a business prospect

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Does this “reach”? Or turn off?

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What makes the wording of

this ad superior as

a commercial message?Disturbing specifics

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The Second Great Law:

In this Age of Skepticism,cleverness

for the sake of cleverness

may well be a liability,rather than an asset.

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Playing with a play on words can result in a considerably lower response than a clear offer.

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When copy is

“straight” and

photo is “cute”

the mismatc

h damages impact.

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Clever?Full-page

ad in a marketin

gmagazine

. What does this advertise

r do?Are you

inspired?

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The Third Great Law:

E2 = 0

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The Fourth Great Law:

Tell your target-individual

what to do.

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TELL YOURTARGET-

INDIVIDUALWHAT

TODO.

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Suggest a

graphic, a

headline and a first

sentence that clarify what this

company does

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Suggest agraphic, a headline and a first sentence

that clarify

what this company

does

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Suggest agraphic, a headline and a first sentence

that might

convince a

marketer to contact

you.

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Suggest a

graphic, a

headline and a first

sentence that

clarify what this company

does

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Full-page ad in a direct

response magazine.Question: What does

this company

do?

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Finding out isn’t

easy. This

appears on a

jump-page in

their website

:

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If you were the

marketing director,

what would you

have in your ad in

a trade magazine?

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If you were the

marketing director,

what would

have been your key selling

argument in this

trade ad?

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REPEAT: You know this,from your personal lifeand as a professional

communicator:Imperative

outpullsdeclarative.

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Be the voiceof authority.

(Careful!Don’t let

imperativeslide into

arrogance.)

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Opinion on imperious tone?

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Note key “grabber” words such as RISK and

VIOLATION and WE MUST RECEIVE

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Clever – name and address apparently are on a sticker but actually are surprinted

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Attention spans are short.BEWARE

ofThe Bore/Snore

Effect.

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Does your illustration motivate, or is it just pretty? BORE/SNORE.

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Do you deal in specifics or just generalities?

BORE/SNORE.

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Are you a professor, not a dynamic salesperson?

BORE/SNORE.

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Are you hung up in your sense of dignity? BORE/SNORE.

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Do you ramble on endlessly, slow to get to the point? BORE/SNORE.

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Do you put them quietlyto sleep? BORE/SNORE.

(SIPA just merged with Software & Information Industry Association (SIIA) (Huh?)

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Replace BORE/SNORE with the Dale

Carnegie/Sally Field Declaration: “You

likeme.”

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The Clarity Commandment:

When you choose words and phrases for

force-communication,clarity is paramount.

Don’t let any other component of the

communications mix interfere with it.

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Word sequenceand spacingaffect clarity.DON’T EVER

violateThe Clarity

Commandment.An example…

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The email on the left pulled 84% better. Why? Greater

clarity.

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Attention spans are short, and

quick negative

reactions are common.

Would you want four

people looking down

at you?

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Can you see how these – 4 pages apart in the same catalog – violate

the Clarity Commandment?

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What would you have done to add clarity, without eliminating either

product?

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What is the

point…and themeaning

… of the

brackets in the

headline?

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OK, I’ll buy.

Uhhh…What

are you selling?

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When you

promise “How to…”

quickly explain “How to”..or

risk confusion

.

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The answer is “pretty

straight-forward”

?Not if the thrust is

“We” instead

of “You.”

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You say, “Let’s talk

simple.” Well, OK, but what are we talking about? Clarify, please.

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Word sequence can have a profound effect

on clarity• Half roasted chicken• Roasted half chicken• Roasted chicken half• Roast chicken half• Half a roast chicken• (and hyphens may

help clarify:Chicken-half,

roasted)

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Nobody likes the

post office…but this

is a superior

ad.What

makes it superior?

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Cleverness without clarity violates both the Second

Great Law and the Clarity

Command.

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(They sellemail

personalizing… tracking … and spam

filter control)

• Rewrite for clarity and

response.

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What makes

thisan

effective

message?

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Clever wording that adds

clarity is the height of copy

skill.

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A tip:For clarity,

When listing two parallel items, and one has a

qualifier, list the one without the qualifier first. Example:

helps you diet and quit smoking ...

NOThelps you quit smoking

and diet

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Anexpiration datealmost always

improves response.

Tip: “Midnight Saturday, October 12”

will outpull“Saturday, October

12.”

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“Learn” and “Earn” are two seemingly

harmless words that suggest a ghastly four-

letter word:

W-O-R-K.Can you suggest

alternatives?

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The five great motivators:

•Fear•Exclusivity•Greed•Guilt•Need for approval

Page 185: Creative Workshop October 12-13

“Soft” motivators:

Convenienceand

Pleasure

Page 186: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Motivator forfund raisers,

extremist organization:

Anger

Page 187: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Note the potent trigger-word.

Page 188: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Possibleadditional motivators

as the 21st centuryevolves:

EnvyStatus

(Does status differfrom exclusivity?)

Page 189: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hands-on practice:For a product with

which you’re associated, create the headline for a space ad using one of the Five

Great Motivators.Then create a second

headline using another of those Motivators.

Page 190: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Consistency Command:

Components of an advertisement, a mailing,

or an email message should reinforce and

validate one another, or reader/viewer/listener

response to all components

will be reduced.

Page 191: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Rule ofNegative Subtlety:

The effectiveness of a direct response message whose

purpose is to sell something

decreases in direct ratio

to an increase in subtlety.

Page 192: Creative Workshop October 12-13

First Sub-rule ofNegative Subtlety:

A sales argument loses impact in direct ratio

to an increase in subtlety.

Page 193: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A nasty developmentin the

“R-rated”non-culture of

communication:“In your face”advertising

Page 194: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Getting attention

is not parallel to

getting favorable attention.

Page 195: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you’re a purchasing agent, aren’t you uncomfortable

dealing with this company?

Page 196: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Sophomoric?

Page 197: Creative Workshop October 12-13

This adran inVanityFair.

Page 198: Creative Workshop October 12-13

This adran in

CustomerInteractio

nSolutions.

Page 199: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What are the pros and cons

of this approach

to attention-getting?

Page 200: Creative Workshop October 12-13

My sentiments exactly.

Page 201: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The two-page ad in entirety. Your opinion?

Page 202: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hands-on practice:Suggest a

new picture

and rewrite

the headline to give it strength

and clarity.

Page 203: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The“Shock Diminution”

Rule:Shock diminishes

in exact ratioto repetition.

Page 204: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The web has reborn a venerable marketing approach: “per-

inquiry”

Page 205: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Absolute rules for p.i. marketing:

• Offer is for product, not service• Response goes to medium or list

source• Offer must be easy to

understand• Fulfillment is from medium or

list source• All involved parties share names• Remittance from recipient to

offerer is fast and accurate

Page 206: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 207: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Part Three:

Let’s attack the hot media of the

day…Web and mobile

Page 208: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Don’t assume your mobile target has the same mind-set and attention-span

asthe same

individual sitting at his/her computer.

Page 209: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is mobile the medium of the immediate future?

BIG benefits:•Highly targeted.•Can reach targets anywhere they are.•Results are measurable.•Can be interactive.

Page 210: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If targeting and interactivity are

absolute, why doesn’t the medium achieve

dominance?

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Why use mobile? Because you can…-- Send timely offers right to the user’s mobile device, provided the mobile user is an opt-in subscriber.-- Create segments by demographic and purchase data.-- Deploy graphic mobile coupons that can be redeemed at a store.-- Use sometimes effective QR codes to link to events and promotions.-- Integrate with databases that are used by email, direct marketing, and other methods.

Page 212: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why question the use of mobile? Because it doesn’t…-- Reach a high percentage of potential responders. -- Get a message out no matter where or when the prospect may be ready to receive. -- Have the flexibility of other media.-- Cover anywhere near the totality of your selling message.-- As yet compete on a cost-per-positive-contact basis with email, direct marketing, and other methods.

Page 213: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Mobile is initiating

a new supply-

industry.

Page 214: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Consider and discuss:Are social media

competitivein the world of e-

commerce?What are the “yea”

possibilities?What are the “nay”

possibilities?

Page 215: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If this surprises you, you aren’t in the marketplace.

Page 216: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you plan to use Facebook or MySpace

or Twitter as a marketing tool…

please, please, please:Test.

(Best test: as both vendor and as potential

consumer.)

Page 217: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The email marketplace of 2013/2014 is far

more brutal than it was even a few years ago.

Why?• Invasion of “new media”• Abuse by so many emailers• Wild competitive growth• Wild competitive claims

Page 218: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Two advisories from an “Expert,” in Inc.:1. “Unless you are having some sort of outrageous sale that people just can’t resist, descriptive, transaction oriented subject lines don't usually perform very well. What does perform well? Creative, catchy, eye-catching subject lines. So feel free to be creative, witty, and funny.”2. “All of your emails should have a primary call to action, which is above the fold and very ob-vious. However, don't have the email end there. Some customers want to scroll to learn more or see other content. So give them what they want. Add a row of ‘best sellers,’ new products, testimonials, or other useful information.”Opinions about these advisories?

Page 219: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Each bid costs a dollar. Misleading offers such as this damage the

credibility of email as a medium.

Page 220: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A few subject lines that may work but are of questionable ethics:

•After Friday, forget our deal.•Someone is using your photo here.•Your new LG washer/dryer is here.• Re: Possibility?•Do you really want to cancel?•Sorry, I’m going to have to cancel•Can’t win them all. I give up.•Junk mail? Hell, no. [or, Heck, no.]•Thought I was dead? You’re wrong.•Two more days and the deal is off.•It’s PayPal, not Western Union.

Page 221: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How would you make these subject lines more

powerful?•Carlos walked away from 29K in debt•AHS the right choice in home warranties - Free Quote!•Fidelity Life Association's Rapid Decision Term Life•Here are more reasons to SHOP WITH US!•Take home essential style with GQ and Details

Page 222: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Weak subject line may prevent recipient from ever seeing the motivational headline:

Page 223: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Simple psychology:Offer

“click here”options

repeatedly.(It parallels the

“trial close”of a conventional

sales pitch.)

Page 224: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Can you offer “Click here” too often? Probably not.

Page 225: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Can you sell directly from anemail message? Absolutely.

Page 226: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Email has becomethe home of

quarter-truths, and non-truths.Worst offenders:Those who use

the word“FREE”as bait.

Page 227: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these pulled better?

10% off. Free shipping.

Page 228: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is the differencein pulling power

between

includedand

free?

Page 229: Creative Workshop October 12-13

This magazine “includes

”extras

that had to strain

the writer’s mental

resources. We’ll look

closer.

Page 230: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How would you have worded some of these

“Benefits”?

Page 231: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Remember the rule,

Imperative outpulls

declarative?

This b-to-b email

ignores that rule

and invites “Click. I’m

outta here.”

Page 232: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Now you do it:Write a dynamic subject line and

first line of text for that email.

Page 233: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Suggest an effective subject line

Page 234: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Are newsletterseffective use of

email?(Many catalog emailers

use thenewsletter format as

“stay-in-touch”communication.)

Page 235: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A newsletteris a porous

emailbandage,

considerablyless exciting thana one-to-one offer.

Why?Because…

Page 236: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Building respect

for the senderis not parallelto responding

to an offer.

Page 237: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Newsletteradvantages:• Mild customer

loyalty• Frequency has

logic• Many

variations (jokes, surveys)

Newsletterdisadvantages:

• Weak selling weapon

• Selling is subordinated

• Boredom factor

Page 238: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you decide to use a newsletter to build

your list or to be the “carrier” for your sales

message, YOU MUSTbe certain that the first item is exciting for the

recipient.

Page 239: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is the first item in your newsletter

an advertising message?

Uh-oh.

Page 240: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is the first item in your “Joke of the Day”

the joke itselfand not

an advertising message?

Uh-oh.

Page 241: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A key point:Each format dictates a

psychology.different

Page 242: Creative Workshop October 12-13

DON’T send a message

that’s a totaldownload, with

no upfront motivators.

Why?

Page 243: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Because12 to 18 million

people(used to be30 million)

will see thison their screen:

Page 244: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 245: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Did you know…•Adding the recipient’s name to the “Subject” line usually increases response.•There is no point in sending “teaser” email.

Page 246: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which is better? This one?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Subj:Boost Sales! Date: 2:43:47 AM Pacific Daylight Time

From: [email protected]: [email protected] from the Internet (Details)

Let's face it.  It's the 4th quarter.  The holidays are just around the corner.  Now is the time to gear up for the busiest and most profitable time of the year!  We all need to:

*  boost sales*  increase profits*  expand our markets*  max our budgets (use it or lose it!)*  watch the bottom line

The BOTTOM LINE: dollar for dollar, pound for pound, there's nothing more powerful and effective than targeted email advertising (proof of this in an independent study - see link below!)

Page 247: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Or this, same day’s email: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

__

Subj:Please call me Date: 2:44:52 AM Pacific Daylight TimeFrom: [email protected]: [email protected] from the Internet (Details)

Here's some new info for you. Please call me right away.

Regards,Rich

Let's face it.  It's the 4th quarter.  The holidays are just around the corner.  Now is the time to gear up for the busiest and most profitable time of the year!  We all need to:

*  boost sales*  increase profits*  expand our markets*  max our budgets (use it or lose it!)*  watch the bottom lineThe BOTTOM LINE: dollar for dollar, pound for pound, there's nothing more

Page 248: Creative Workshop October 12-13

An oddity worth testing:

Moving “click here”UP

in the textusually increases

response.

Page 249: Creative Workshop October 12-13

In actual tests…text outpulled a produced email

when the message wasURGENCY.

Produced message outpulled text

when the message wasARTISTRY.

Page 250: Creative Workshop October 12-13

An interesting test:Which of these subject

lines pulled best?John, here is the

information you have been waiting for.

or…Here is the information you

have been waiting for, John.

Page 251: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No one could have anticipated the

difference. One brought 13% more response.

Which one?Here is the information you have been waiting

for, John.

Page 252: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these pulled more response?

• You Can Save Up To 70%!

• You can save up to70%!

Page 253: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Use Initial Caps…and expect response to

drop.OF COURSE YOU KNOW

WHY.

Page 254: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Initial caps are a dead giveaway not

only that this is advertising, but

advertising from a distance.

Rapport? Forget it.

Page 255: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these pulled more response?

• I’m going to save you 70%!

• I’m going to save you 70%.

Page 256: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these pulled better?

• Information you should have about home improvement schemes

• Beware of home improvement schemes.

• Home improvement offer? Look out.

Page 257: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Repeat:An apparent

(and dangerous if it seems arrogant)

gauge of response –In a selling situation,

IMPERATIVEoutpulls

DECLARATIVE.

Page 258: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Forbusiness-to-business

email:Always test

TEXTagainst a

PRODUCED MESSAGE.

Page 259: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these pulled better?

•Talk to me.•Do me a favor.

Page 260: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Don’t get diarrhea of the fingertips.

D o n’t g et d ia r r heao f t he fi nger t ip s .

==================================================

Subject: Alter significantly the denudation of Panglossian Corporate communications.

Dear Docent-Colleague,

A malefactoring challenge entrepreneurial enterprises face today is multiple-layer communication with a diverse and diffuse geographically dispersed staff. Indefatigablemeretriciousness can generate negativism from the most mundane pronouncement.

Employing Microsoft’s Digital Media, this retiform Division invites you to gain knowledge and understanding of the professional and nonprofessional benefits of streaming media technologies during complimentary attendance at a webcast:

To register, see website for details.This message is singularly intended for the corporate executive to whom it has been addressed. Additional invitations may be available upon request. Include corporate title, areas of authority, and e-mail address.

Page 261: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Provocative e-mail:

Page 262: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Click and get this:

Page 263: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A highly-effective ploy

An original (first) communication

suggesting a prior inquiry.

Do you consider it unethical?

Page 264: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A key question:What are you doing…

or including…to maximize

the capture ofonline addresses?(Easy hint: Give them a reason.)

Page 265: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Forget using email as a “branding” procedure:

Building respectfor the senderisn’t parallel to

generating responseto an offer.

Page 266: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A powerful rule offorce-communication:

Specifics outpullgeneralizations.

Emailis today’s

most significant example of this rule.

Page 267: Creative Workshop October 12-13

“Ad” copy versus specifics:Which will bring more

response?

Page 268: Creative Workshop October 12-13

So…Load your both your

subject line and your message with

rhetorical dynamite…

But don’t assume you can get away

with blather.

Page 269: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Who can resistthis flattering subject line?

Page 270: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these would bring greater response?

• You’ll be interested in the hundreds of “Specials” on sale this week at greatly reduced prices.

or…• The Bushnell 650 telescope

you thought would cost $375 is yours right now (HURRY!) for $69. And that’s just the beginning.

Page 271: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The only difference is the box at upper left. You don’t have to be a

practicing psychologist to know which one outpulled the other.

Page 272: Creative Workshop October 12-13

ALWAYSsend yourself

a sample message.Otherwise,

you could havestupid resultssuch as this:

Page 273: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Dear $Firstname$,

I was just reviewing our client list when suddenly a vision flashed intomy minds eye!

I nearly dropped my cup of tea it was so powerful and concentrated. We understand you're going through some difficult times and want very badly to find or keep your true love.

We also know that you may be struggling financially and need MONEY desperately. Well, your time may soon come! However, I must warn you that to get what we most want in life we sometimes need to find courage and walk a hazardous path.

$Firstname$, at these times we need to walk through fire and take chances! Are you up to the challenge?

$Firstname$, Are you ready to take the risks you need to transform your life?

We must read your Tarot cards to clarify this intense vision! That's why I'm giving you a FREE Tarot reading! Call now!

Begin to take some chances for your dreams! $Firstname$, call toll-free 1-800-526-4317 immediately! In your future, $Firstname$, you may be confronted with a decision that could very well lead to wealth, health and happiness. You may be rich! One caller claims to have won money with her psychics' advice!You could you be next!

Love & hope,Miss Cleo

Page 274: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Did they pay for this list?

Page 275: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why this marvelous medium is in disrepute:

Page 276: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Click on “unsubscribe and get this:

Page 277: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Did you know…• Tying your news to actual news

increases email response.• Asking a relevant question is

unusually potent in email.• Rules of letter-writing (short

paragraphs, spacing) apply.• Matching demographics to

message can be super-valuable.

Page 278: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Did you know…• If your offer is stated clearly

before scrolling down you will increase response.

• An ALL CAPS message does not pull as well as standard caps and lower case (avoid initial caps, please).

• “FREE!!! FREE!!! FREE!!!” is a transparent pitch. One “Free” has verisimilitude. And please: One punctuation mark is plenty.

• If you address your target by first name, be very sociable.

Page 279: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Provocative. OK, I’ll vote. Click:

Page 280: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No, I won’t. (Opinion, please:How should this have been done?)

Page 281: Creative Workshop October 12-13

OK for followers, but when

the recipient of

an email says,

“Huh?” the sender has damaged

the effectivene

ss of an otherwise

salesworthy proposition.

Page 282: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Whenever possible, test an action/deadline

subject line against a play on

words.

Page 283: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Email is the only medium in which the approach

“It’s important to meso it’s important to you”

is a valid marketing ploy…but only if properly used.

Why?Because email is the

ultimate one-to-one, arm-around-the-shoulder

medium. Rapport is the key to response and to fewer

opt-outs.

Page 284: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Soin an email message,

“I”is infinitely superior to“We.”

Page 285: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The reader doesn’t know who “I” might be … but is automatically less

negative

Page 286: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Viral marketingtends to work

whenthe message

recipientrecognizes

a “pass-along” benefit.

Page 287: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 288: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Note this opt-in technique. Email says:

Page 289: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The “click” brings up:

Page 290: Creative Workshop October 12-13

which in turn brings up:

Page 291: Creative Workshop October 12-13

And if you click through and don’t order:

Page 292: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Reason for annoyance:This is the come-on.

Page 293: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Enter information,click, and get this:

Page 294: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Enter information,click, and get this:

Page 295: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Endless string. Enter information,click, and get marketer-serving

coupons.

Page 296: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Consider psychological techniques for reducing the number ofopt-outs.

Page 297: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Second generation opt-out:

Page 298: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Did you know…Sending a direct mail

(“snail mail”) message to opt-outs will pull considerably better

than the same mailing to demographically parallel individuals?

(What is the significance of that

curious fact?)

Page 299: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Survey by “McPherson Associates”:

– Friday emails are the most opened.

– Friday volume is relatively low.– 14.3 percent of emails are sent on Friday versus 24.5

percent on Tuesday.– Sunday has low open rates, highest click-through rate. --

(Survey may or may not be valid for you.)

Page 300: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you follow upemail

with telemarketing,call withintwo days

after sendingthe email.

(Best bet: Be ready tore-send,

on the spot.)

Page 301: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Consider and discuss:Are social media

competitivein the world of e-

commerce?What are the “yea”

possibilities?What are the “nay”

possibilities?

Page 302: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Discuss: What do emails such as

this suggest for the future?(Click, and…)

Page 303: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why some marketers see little value in

Facebook

Page 304: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How rampant is fakery in compiling social media friends and

followers?

Page 305: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is right and what is wrong

with this business-

to-business

email offer?

Page 306: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Results and conclusions of this type of survey are semi-

valid.

Page 307: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Recent study of message longevity:

Twitter: 2.8 hoursFacebook: 3.2 hoursYouTube: 7.4 hours

“In short, after three hours, links shared on the two major social

networks — Twitter and Facebook — are headed to obscurity.

YouTube links last a bit longer.”.

Page 308: Creative Workshop October 12-13

(Online column)Is any of this unique to Twitter, over

email?

Page 309: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Can you believe this?Points seriously made in a bylined article in a marketing publication:“To make Twitter work as part of your marketing plan, consider these five tips: ∙Identify your program goals before you start.∙Figure out an inbound strategy.∙Identify the tools you’ll need. ∙Commit resources. ∙Plan to integrate.”

Page 310: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Five more…Useful

?or

useless?

Page 311: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you plan to use Facebook or MySpace

or Twitter as a marketing tool…

please, please, please:Test.

(Best test: as both vendor and as potential

consumer.)

Page 312: Creative Workshop October 12-13

From a recent

issue of Websit

e

Page 313: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What effect

does each additional

social medium have on

us as direct

marketers?

Page 314: Creative Workshop October 12-13

These are just the top

contenders. More social

media appear every month.

What does that indicate

for the future?

Page 315: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A new competitor every day:

Page 316: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A new competitor every day:

Page 317: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What do growing dominanceand increasing competition

for attention indicateto the alert marketer?

Page 318: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Comment by senior writer,Daily Finance

Page 319: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How social media become standard media

Page 320: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Example of Expanded

Tweet:User can “open” a

tweet.Question: Will this

keep visitors from

clicking through to

the original?

Page 321: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Social media use personal to sell.

Page 322: Creative Workshop October 12-13

On which targets does Twitter have

a selling impact

?

Page 323: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Everybody has a gimmick

Page 324: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No surprise … it’s the usual “Complete sponsor offers”

Page 325: Creative Workshop October 12-13

According to BtoB Magazine:

“64 percent of marketers are allocating some

portion of their social media budget to paid advertising on social

sites this year.”(What else would be in a “social media budget”?)

Page 326: Creative Workshop October 12-13

“Social” are new media.

The rules are still forming. Always

analyze your results, and you’ll generate a constant flow of rules

you can use…profitably.

Page 327: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 328: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Part Four: Basic rulesfor Website marketing

Page 329: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Two factors override all others:

1.The Clarity Commandment.

2. Stop the surfer-visitor in his/her tracks.

Page 330: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 331: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The First Rule of Internet Copy

Copy length usually is not a factor. Substantial copy length, within a single copy block, is a negative factor.

(This suggests –“Want that? Do this.” NOT…“Do you want that? Then do this.”)

Page 332: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Second Rule of Internet Copy

With every headline, every sentence, ask yourself:

If I were reading this instead of writing it, would my

interest-level stay high?

Page 333: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Third Rule of Internet Copy

Don’t be afraid to sell.

Page 334: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Fourth Rule of Internet Copy

Subject to the First Rule, copy length can expand in ratio to the amount of promise it makes.

Page 335: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Fifth Rule of Internet Copy

•Announcements cannot compete with salesmanship.•Technical expertise cannot compete with salesmanship.•Gadgetry cannot compete with salesmanship.

Page 336: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Strong ways to assure yourself of

RE-visits:• Frequent changes of your offer• Bonuses for repeat visits and/or repeat orders• Sprightly text• Contests

Page 337: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Would you say this home page is too busy?

I would.

Page 338: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Clean layout. Want a deal on fleas?

Page 339: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Would you say this home page is too busy? I

wouldn’t.

Page 340: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The personal touch … too often missing from Websites.

But…

Page 341: Creative Workshop October 12-13

WARNING:Your first-time

visitorhas the attention-

spanof a gnat.

Page 342: Creative Workshop October 12-13

You can capitalize on this truism:

The Web is price-driven.

Page 343: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why should a marketer offer

FREE SHIPPINGfor orders resulting

from email solicitation…

but not for the same item ordered from the

printed catalog?

Page 344: Creative Workshop October 12-13

You know the answer:

ALLcommercial

email is competitive with

all other commercial email.

Page 345: Creative Workshop October 12-13

In 2013,many

printed catalogs

either add free

shipping or face a drastic

reduction of volume.

Page 346: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is thisemail or a Web page?

(The question

is the point: It could be either.)

Page 347: Creative Workshop October 12-13

“Bots” expose comparative prices:

Page 348: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Let’s take a closer look to see comparisons:

Costco’s price is just $39.99. But…

Page 349: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Note the shipping charge. (Others are

$6.99)

Page 350: Creative Workshop October 12-13

GOOD IDEAS:• Change your offer often. Daily

isn’t too often. (Why?)• Don’t use the company logo as

the key to the home page. (Why?)

• Immediately offer a terrific deal. (Why immediately?)

• No direct exit from a “deep” screen. (Why?)

Page 351: Creative Workshop October 12-13

POOR IDEAS:• Having someone lured by email

land on the home page instead of the offer that attracted him or her. (Why?)

• As an opener: “A message from our Chairman.” (Why?)

• Philosophy rather than a hard offer. (Why?)

• “Employee of the Month.” (Why – but how about “Customer of the Month”?)

Page 352: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The need for external media promotion

for your site increases in ratio to four factors:

1. Direct competition2. The total number of Web sites3. The volume of site advertising

in media4. Your valid claims of

uniqueness

Page 353: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 354: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Part Five:

Let’s use some of the rules of

force-communication

to write sales letters.

Page 355: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The purpose of the carrier envelope

(other than keeping its contents from spilling out onto the street):

TO GET ITSELF OPENED.

Page 356: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Saying too muchon the envelope

can damage response.

Page 357: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which copy is most likely to get the

envelope opened?

Enclosed: Quick test.or…

Enclosed: Quick quiz.or…

Enclosed: Quick ballot.

Page 358: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which copy is most likelyto get the envelope

opened?

Enclosed: Quick ballot.or…

Enclosed: Your quick ballot.

or…Your ballot is enclosed.

Page 359: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The extra “bump” boosts the probability of opening.

(Two things wrong here … what are they?)

Page 360: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is this effective envelope copy?

Page 361: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is this effective envelope copy?

Page 362: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is this effectiveenvelope copy?

Page 363: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Opinion – effective? ineffective? Unsettling?

Page 364: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Even without knowing contents, we know this envelope copy isn’t

strong. What’s wrong with it?

Page 365: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Inside:typical

blah-blah slow-

moving, self-

important 6-page

letter (no “Report” as such)

Page 366: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Even this (buried in the six-page letter) would have been grist for envelope

copy:

Page 367: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is this optimal envelope copy?

Page 368: Creative Workshop October 12-13

There goes verisimilitude:

Page 369: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Would envelope copy have helped or suppressed

response?

Page 370: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Here is the next mailing. Better chance of getting it

opened?

Page 371: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Wow! An offer I can’t refuse.

Page 372: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If your offerrequires explanation,

DO NOTspill your guts

on the envelope.

Page 373: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Your opinion of this envelope copy? (Another problem for

AAL)

Page 374: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What might you change to make this envelope

more likely to be opened?

Page 375: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Will the reverse side make opening more likely or less likely?

Page 376: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How would you have

started the

letter inside that

envelope?

Page 377: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is thiseffectiveenvelope copy?

Page 378: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which one pulled better?

Page 379: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which one pulled better?

Page 380: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Does a dual-language envelope help or suppress

response?

Page 381: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Is there a benefit to this type of envelope? If so, what is it?

Page 382: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Can’t miss.

Page 383: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Oops. Reverse side damages response.

Page 384: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hands-on practice:Consider this typical circumstance: You're a premium cable channel. You plan to show 50 movies between now and Thanksgiving Day. You're sending a promotional mailing to cable subscribers, pointing out —1. Next Saturday your channel is free (so cable subscribers get a "sampler"). 2. If they sign up now, cable subscribers pay no connection fee.

What legend, if any, do you put on the envelope?

Page 385: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which letter pulled better?

Page 386: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Some logicalrulesfor

effective letter-writing

(and much email):

Page 387: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Keep your first sentence

short.

Page 388: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No paragraphslonger than

seven lines.

Some can be one word.

Page 389: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Single spacethe letter.

Double spacebetween paragraphs.

Page 390: Creative Workshop October 12-13

In a letter longer than one page,

don’tend a paragraph at the

bottom of any page except the last.

(Why?)

Page 391: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Don’tsneak up

on the reader.

Fireyour biggest gun

first.(Imperative for email.)

Page 392: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Tired of “Dear Friend”?Try one of these:

• Good morning!• Hi.• Dear Colleague,• Dear Tennis Nut,• Dear Fellow Tennis Nut,• This will be a good day, [NAME]!• If you’re like I am, [NAME]…

(When should you useonly the first name?)

Page 393: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Tired of “Dear Friend”?Try one of these:

• Private memo to [NAME]• I’m writing in haste, [NAME],

because…• [NAME], did you ever imagine…• News bulletin for [NAME]:• [NAME], a small favor, please?

(When should you useonly the first name?)

Page 394: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How doesHi.

Differ fromHi!?

Page 395: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is wrong with this first sentence?

Over one trillion dollars is spent by manufacturing companies each year on materials, equipment, and services.

Page 396: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which of these letter openings pulled best?

Page 397: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is wrong with this letter?

Page 398: Creative Workshop October 12-13

(Opinion)

“Johnson Boxes” are obsolete.

The 21st century replacement:The overline.

Page 399: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A 21st century addition: the overline.

Page 400: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Ahandwritten

overlinetends to outpull

atypesetoverline.

Page 401: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The first responsibility of the overline:

To grab and shake the reader's attention.

The second responsibility of the

overline:To make the reader

eager to continue reading.

Page 402: Creative Workshop October 12-13

You can see how this overline supplies both

responsibilities:

Page 403: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Readership tests tell us: The overline, when

present, is theMOST READ

part of the letter.(What is the next

MOST READpart of the letter?the postscript.)

Page 404: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The p.s. should reinforce one of the key

selling motivatorsor mention an extra

benefit ---one which doesn't

require explanation.

Page 405: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you enclose two letters in your mailing,don't put a p.s. on both

of them.

Page 406: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Which p.s. pulled better?

P.S. I think you’ll agree that this is an exceptional opportunity, and I urge you to respond quickly if you intend to take advantage of it. I know you don’t want to miss out.

or…P.S. This exceptional opportunity expires at midnight Sunday,October 13. So call my toll-free number – 1-888-765-2437.I know you don’t want to miss out.

Page 407: Creative Workshop October 12-13

An absolute truism of force-communication:

Specificsoutpull

generalizations.

Page 408: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A logical test:The same letter, with and without marginal notes

Page 409: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you includemarginal notes…

• Handwrite the marginal notes.• Match calligraphy of the

handwritten signature (and overline).

• Blue, if possible.• No more than five words.• One per page is plenty.

Maximum two.

Page 410: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Decide whether marginal note should be at left or at

right.

Page 411: Creative Workshop October 12-13

TheEmotion over Intellect

Rule(Remember it,

from yesterday?)can help you write

effective sales letters.

Page 412: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Repeating the“Emotion over Intellect”

Rule:When emotion and intellect come into conflict, emotion

always wins.(So an emotion-based sales

argument will outsell an intellect-based sales

argument.)

Page 413: Creative Workshop October 12-13

An emotional appeal will outpull an

intellectual appeal.Since exhortation is more emotional than either explanation or

validation, the letter is a more powerful selling

weapon than the brochure.

Page 414: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How would you make these sentences more

emotional?• I need your aid.• My story is at an end.• Can you donate $25?• We regret the error concerning

your account.• A reply from you would be

appreciated.• If you are dissatisfied, simply

return it.• Enclosed please find the pertinent

information.

Page 415: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is the difference between…

• $100• $100.• $100.00• $100!• $100.00!• One hundred dollars• A hundred bucks

Page 416: Creative Workshop October 12-13

For offers with a highly “emotional” flavor, if

you include a response device which

emphasizes responding by mail you may actually damage

response.

Page 417: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 418: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Part Six:

A potpourriof useful

tips

Page 419: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Consistency Command:Components of an

advertisement. a mailing, or an email message must reinforce and validate one

another, or reader/viewer/listener

response to all components

will be reduced.

Page 420: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The mailing sells variable data printing. But the mailer doesn’t use it.

Page 421: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The superiority of examples over statistics:

Statistics = cold-blooded, no involvement.Examples = warm-blooded, involvement.

Page 422: Creative Workshop October 12-13

First pass:If treated early, 75% of those children who have this deadly disease can be saved.Second pass:Innocent children die from this disease. With early treatment, three out of four will live.Third pass:This deadly disease is killing innocent children. With early treatment we can save three precious lives, of four we're now losing.

Page 423: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Fourth pass:We lost Jimmy today. His parents knew his precious days were numbered. But Mary, Karen, and Billy all will live. We were able to start their treatment early enough to save them.

Which text is most likely to generate response? Why?

Page 424: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Plural references say to the reader:

“You're one of the mob.”

Singular references say to the reader:

“Only you.”Which one will do a better selling job?

Page 425: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Use singular to suggest exclusivity:“You’ll save on anything you see in these pages.”Use a collective noun to suggest universality:“You’ll save on everything you see in these pages.”

Page 426: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Celebrity Endorsement Rule:

In business-to-business copy, user endorsements are usually stronger than celebrity endorsements. In consumer copy, endorsement by a celebrity unrelated to the type of product or service you sell probably is a waste of money.

Page 427: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Benefit beyondcelebritycost?

Page 428: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No point here other than…I detest this creature.

Page 429: Creative Workshop October 12-13

If you have an IQ under 70,you can get a creative job at

Geico or its advertising agency.

Page 430: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Trigger-words for seniors:Discount

Buy directYoung

Have a problem with...Do you remember how [WHATEVER] used to

be?Have you considered?

Page 431: Creative Workshop October 12-13

For print, mail, or email to seniors:

1. No type smaller than 10-point.2. Response must be easy.3. Include a coupon with ample room to make entries, or an easy “Click here.”4. Suggest a discount or bargain.5. Appear to appeal to logic.6. Don't make a long story short.

Page 432: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hands-on practice:Write a headline and first sentence for a

space ad selling “Joint Support Formula,” 100 capsules for $4.99, to

the general public.Then…

Write a headline and first sentence selling the same items in a

magazine circulated to seniors.

Page 433: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Aone-minute look

atself-mailers:

(Do they work?)

Page 434: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A must: “What you’ll lose

if you ignore this.”

Advantages:• Possible lower

postal rate• Lower printing

cost• In sync with

thin attention-spans

Disadvantages:

• Recipient immediately knows it’s advertising

• Comparatively impersonal

Page 435: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Front panel of self-mailer.Can you see the automatic

advantage over other media?

Page 436: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Positivesusually outpull

negatives.

So don’tstart your selling

argumentwith

“Don’t.”

Page 437: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The“Teaser-Waster” Rule:

Teaser mailings and space ads,which don't tell the reader

what the mailer has for sale,are less productive than mailings

which include facts on whichthe target-individual can

formulatea buying decision.

Page 438: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Non-Importance Rule:

Calling something important, when your best prospects will know it isn’t important, will cost you response … because you have a more powerful way to convince.

Page 439: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What would you have done to imply urgency

here?

Page 440: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Want to guess what the GREAT NEWS is?

Page 441: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 442: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A“Yes/No” option

will increase response.BUT…

Smart marketers knowhow to word

the “No” option.

Page 443: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Illustration Agreement Rule:

Illustration should agree with what we are selling, not with

headline copy.

Page 444: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hucksterism: totally

out of date.

Page 445: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Gettingattention

isn’t parallel

to gettingpositive

attentionresulting

inpositive

prospect-action.

Page 446: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Suggest an

illustration that better

sells the concept.(And can you make the copy

more dynamic?)

Page 447: Creative Workshop October 12-13

WARNING:If you think

in cliché-termsyou absolutely and

positively will excretesecond-level

“creative” work.

Page 448: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 449: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 450: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 451: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 452: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 453: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Hopeless

cliché:The

smart copy team

blames the art

director.

Page 454: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Space ad aimed at nonprofit

s…

Rewrite heading to add

dynamics and

specifics.

Page 455: Creative Workshop October 12-13

All right, quick:

What are they

selling?

Page 456: Creative Workshop October 12-13

All right, quick:

What are they

selling?

Page 457: Creative Workshop October 12-13

All right, quick:What’s this all about?

Page 458: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Quick: What are they selling?

Page 459: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why isthisonedifferent?

Page 460: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The Active/Passive Rule:

Unless you specifically want to avoid reader involvement in your message, always write in the active voice.

Page 461: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Usetelemarketingto customerstwice a year.

Which customers?-- The tip of the

pyramid.-- (If staffing permits) 12-month dropoffs.

Page 462: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Call only____the tip____

ofthe pyramid.

Page 463: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Public perception

Page 464: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The “Avoid Five” Rule:In more formal copy, avoid

using multiples of five when suggesting time or cost of

distance – Replace

“about five minutes.”“Oh, figure spending ten

bucks.”with

“some 4-1/2 minutes.”“Anticipate a cost of about

eleven dollars.”

Page 465: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The reader interprets the

five/ten estimates as guesses, because

they are the common

approximation.But…

Page 466: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Those approximations can be valuable when

projecting a casual mood.

You’re the professional.You decide.

(Make your decision deliberately, based on

what mood you’re projecting and to whom.)

Page 467: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Don’t over-describe:

What is the difference between:

• New medical breakthrough

• Medical breakthrough

Page 468: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Choice of words:• From $30,250• Starting at $30,250

Page 469: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Choice of words:• You will be among the first to…

• You will be one of the first to…

Page 470: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why isamong

a weakener?Psychologically, it automatically kills

exclusivity.

Page 471: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Do you see how the word “among” denies

exclusivity?

Page 472: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The wording on a TV spot for a product called

“FiberChoice”:Four grams of fiber

in each dose.Which word would you

have changed?And what word would you have used to replace it?

Page 473: Creative Workshop October 12-13

YOU are in command of the reaction to your

words:“You pay much less.”

“Others pay much more.”

Page 474: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Suggest an

illustration that better

sells the concept.(And can you make the copy

more dynamic?)

Page 475: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Stock photo

results in cliché

concept:Ugh.

Page 476: Creative Workshop October 12-13

“Content” parallelsbird-droppings?

Page 477: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Another stock photo. Your

choice – Tourette

Syndrome or St. Vitus’ Dance.Ugh.

Page 478: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Aside from font problems,

Genève needs a towel to

dry off its stock photo cliché.

Page 479: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Another stock photo. Your

choice – Praying?Hoping

for rain? Looking

for clarity in the ad?

Ugh.

Page 480: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Wouldyou

hire the “creative” team

that excreted

this?

Page 481: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Clichés are gender-neutral.

Page 482: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Clichés are

“high-fly”neutral.

Page 483: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Clichés are ethnically-neutral.

Page 484: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Age is not a factor when firing

blanks by using

non-relevant

stock photos.

Page 485: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Age is not a factor when firing

blanks by using non-

relevant stock

photos.

Page 486: Creative Workshop October 12-13

See why stock photos are a sign of

creative defects…or worse,

carelessness?Ugh.

Page 487: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Does this

make sense

toyou?

Page 488: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Does this

make sense toyou?

Page 489: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A dozen implicitly weak words and phrases:

• administration

• approximately• define• earn• facilitate• features

• formulate• indeed• needs (as

noun)• product• respond• work

Page 490: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A dozen words and phrases with power

• free• free gift• limited

time• right

now• surprise• hot

• first time offered• not sold in stores• good only until

[DATE]• Don’t miss out• I’ll look for your

order• Try it at our risk

Page 491: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 492: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Some“Quickies”

Page 493: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Sometimes cracks the apathy barrier:

Page 494: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Address side stays in character:

Page 495: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Letter stays in character, except:

Page 496: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The copywriter’s most professional tool …

Are you maximizing it? (Are you aware of it? If you are, are you aware

of how easy it is?)Word

expansion

Page 497: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A few examples of word expansion:

The original copy –

Save 10% weekdays.

Page 498: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Expanding the original copy –

Save 10% Monday-Friday.

Page 499: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A little more expansion –

Save 10% Monday through Friday.

Page 500: Creative Workshop October 12-13

And a bit more expansion –

Save 10% every day Monday through Friday.

Page 501: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Keep expanding until you’ve maximized.

Brain–power doesn’t cost anything.

Save 10% every single day Monday through

Friday.

Page 502: Creative Workshop October 12-13

We haven’t yet achieved nirvana. The

meistersinger word expander looks beyond

the obvious:Save a big 10% Monday.Save a big 10% Tuesday.

Save a big 10% Wednesday.

Save a big 10% Thursday.Save a big 10% Friday.COME IN AND SAVE!

Page 503: Creative Workshop October 12-13

NOTE:Does “10%” justify the

word “big”?A peripheral benefit of

word expansion:Repetition makes the

claim contagious.

Page 504: Creative Workshop October 12-13

While we’re on this point – “Save 10%”

is more dynamic than“10% off.”

• It’s a clear imperative.• It’s emotion-based rather than comprehension-based.

Page 505: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Another easy example of word expansion:

Original –

“Available in gray, suntan, blue, and

charcoal.”

Page 506: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Expanded, copy adds a minuscule injection of

power –

“Available in these most wanted colors – gray, suntan, blue,

and charcoal.”

Page 507: Creative Workshop October 12-13

With more word expansion, we add

another mini- injection of power –

“Available in every one of these most wanted colors – gray, suntan, blue, and charcoal.”

Page 508: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is the word in all those examples that

saps out power?

Available

Page 509: Creative Workshop October 12-13

So:Search and destroy

thatpower-shrinking

word:

Available

Page 510: Creative Workshop October 12-13

How would you re-word this?

Page 511: Creative Workshop October 12-13

One more apparently trivial example ofword expansion:

Original –“Word expansion is the easiest and the most

logical way to add word-power.”

Page 512: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Adding one word expands impact just a

fraction… and fractions are what the

professional looks for and exploits –

“Word expansion is both the easiest and

the most logical way to add word-power.”

Page 513: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Careful, though:

Don’t over-expand.

Which of theseheadings pulled

better?

Page 514: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Vote. The actual test results…

Page 515: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Use of subhead pulled considerably better:

Page 516: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Why did the one on the left pull more than 20% better?

Page 517: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Opinion: 1. Question is involving.2. “15 minutes” is too long, a turnoff.

Page 518: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The longer subject line pulled considerably more response. (All other elements were identical.)

What elements are significant here, other than actual word-

length?

Page 519: Creative Workshop October 12-13

These were identical except for small legend at bottom right – “Tuition &

Openings” versus “Schedule a Tour.”

Page 520: Creative Workshop October 12-13

What is of interest to a prospect-parent? Probably because of the subject, “Tuition and Openings” far outpulled “Schedule a

Tour.”

Page 521: Creative Workshop October 12-13

A “clean” test – which one brought more response?

Start your free 30-day trialor

Start my free 30-day trial?

Page 522: Creative Workshop October 12-13

No contest:“My…”blew

“Your…”away.

Page 523: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The hidden key to rapport

is the ability to transmita vital element of force-

communication:

AWARENESS

Page 524: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Benefit inforce-communication:

not, "What will it do?"

but, "What will it do for

me?"

Page 525: Creative Workshop October 12-13

TELL YOURTARGET-

INDIVIDUALWHAT

TODO.

Page 526: Creative Workshop October 12-13

The benefit of

QUESTIONS

Page 527: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Quick and obvious tip:

Questions are automatically

reader-involving. And…a question automatically is less threatening and

more rapport-suggestive than a thunderbolt hurled from Mount

Olympus.

Page 528: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Note the difference:

This is you.Is this you?

(Note, too: The choice is NOT automatic.)

Page 529: Creative Workshop October 12-13

Note the difference:You won’t stand by and let it happen.Will you stand by and let it happen?

(Note, too: The choice is NOT automatic.)

Page 530: Creative Workshop October 12-13
Page 531: Creative Workshop October 12-13

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

??????????????

Questions??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

??????????????

Page 532: Creative Workshop October 12-13