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Creating Sacred Spaces Safe Relationships Slide 2 It feels uncomfortable to talk about But 1 in 3 girls and 1in 6-8 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. Chances are, you are going to meet someone who has been or is being abused We can change those statistics if we talk about how to stay safe and what to do if we feel vulnerable in a relationship Slide 3 Lets take a brief quiz to see what we already know about sexual abuse. 1.Can a person be sexually abused without being touched? A. YesB. No Slide 4 A. Yes In reality, sexual abuse can take many forms from sexual intercourse to fondling under or over clothes to the sexual exploitation of children with out direct physical touching a perpetrator might expose the child to pornography, or take pictures of the child while naked Slide 5 2. What percentage of the time does a victim of sexual abuse know his or her abuser? A.50 percent B.66 percent C.75 percent D.90 percent Slide 6 Sexual abuse happens most often with people who know the victim. Stranger abuse is fairly rare. Abuse also happens in familiar places. Abusers can be parents, stepparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, baby-sitters, caretakers, supervisors, and others. Normally, the victim knows hi or her abuser. Slide 7 3. Who is the most common sexual offender? A.A homosexual B.A poor person C.A white married male D.Someone who was previously abused Slide 8 C. A white married male Most often, sex offenders are white married males, they sex offenders can be in every socio- economic classification, every race, every sexual orientation, and every description. Sex offenders can be found in every profession and in every religious organization. Slide 9 4. Who is more at risk for sexual abuse? A.Kids who dont know the rules for personal safety B.Kids who do not go to church C.Kids who are from an ethnic group other than Caucasian D.Kids who are from upper income families Slide 10 A. Kids who dont know the rules for personal safety Children are at rick for sexual abuse whether they live in rural or urban settings, go to church or not, are white, black, Hispanic, Asian or some other ethnic group, and whether they are from lower or upper income families. Abuse cuts across all socio-economic boundaries. Children are more at risk if they have not been taught about personal safety and dont know to protect themselves against abuse. Slide 11 Personal Safety Rule Review: Never let anyone know you are home alone Make sure your parent always knows where you are Check with him/her before going anywhere, helping anyone, accepting anything or getting into a car, or, if driving, giving anyone else a ride There is safety in numbers take a friend or sibling with you It is always okay to say no to an adult Whether the adult is asking for your help Asking you to go with them Touching you in ways you dont like Never giver personal information out on the internet, over the telephone, or in person including where you go to school Never send photos of yourself to strangers or people you dont personally know over the internet If you have a cell phone carry it with you. Tell a trusted adult if you anything ever makes you feel unsafe, scared or confused Slide 12 5. Who is more at risk for sexual abuse? A.Boys B.Girls C.About the same for boys and girls Slide 13 B. Girls (C. About the same) The reported statistics indicate girls are abused more often, but experts think the actual number is probably about the same for girls and boys. Slide 14 6. Do most children readily tell an adult, usually a parent, when something serious like sexual abuse happens to them? A.Yes B.No Slide 15 Children frequently do not tell, especially if the abuser is a member of their family. Children who have broken their silence may not have been believed. Abused children often struggle with feel bad because God allowed this to happen to them. Children might also feel like they will be in trouble if they tell. Slide 16 7. Why is abuse not often reported immediately? A.Kids make it up, it did not really happen B.The abuser threatens them C.Kids dont know they have the ability to make it stop and tell Slide 17 (All can be true) C. Kids dont they can make it stop and tell There are lots of reasons why abuse is not reported immediately. There are no witnesses. The abuser is often someone who has power and influence over the child but most children are not threatened with physical violence. Victims are told to keep it secret and may not realize they have a right to tell. They may not understand they have the power to break away from the abuse. Slide 18 8. Are most offenders prosecuted and punished? A.Yes B.No Slide 19 Only a few of those who commit sexual assault are caught and convicted for their crimes There are many reasons: Sometimes relating to the legal system Sometimes relating tot eh inability of the victim to testify Or many other reasons Most convicted sex offenders are eventually released into the community under probation or parole (registered sex offenders) Slide 20 9. How do kids react to abuse? A.They refuse to be around the abuser B.They engage in self-destructive behavior C.They may be depressed or suicidal D.They may have all or none of these symptoms Slide 21 Each child reacts differently. The most common symptom is change in normal behavior for that child. There may be no symptom. Symptoms can be due to a trauma or other stress. Slide 22 10. Of those who abuse, how many were abused themselves? A.10 percent B.90 percent C.30 percent D.70 percent Slide 23 C. 30 percent Most sex offenders were not sexually assaulted as children, and most children who were sexually assaulted do not sexually assault others. Not all abusers act out of revenge for their past victimization. Adolescent offenders do not always become adult offenders. Slide 24 Most Important Things to Remember You have the right to say NO to unhealthy behaviors You have the right to TELL if something makes you feel uncomfortable You are NOT responsible for the inappropriate behavior or others. When others engage in unhealthy behaviors, it is NOT your fault. You have the RIGHT to safety, security and privacy of your OWN body. Slide 25 Who are the adults YOU trust? If something makes you feel uncomfortable, who are 2 or 3 adults you could trust to tell? If an adult doesnt believe you, what should you do? Tell, and keep telling until someone does! Slide 26 Part II Internet Safety Slide 27 http://www.icacidaho.org/kids/kids_index.htm Slide 28 Question 1 If I meet someone nice online, it is okay for me to give them my name, address and phone number. YesorNo Slide 29 That was a really great answer! You should NEVER give out your name, phone number, or address to anyone you meet online. Someone might use that information to harm you. Slide 30 Question 2 I met someone online that I really like. They want to get together this weekend. Is it OK for me to meet them in person? YesorNo Slide 31 Awesome Answer! Never agree to meet a friend you have talked to online. Tell your parents immediately if an online friend has asked you to meet them in person. Slide 32 Question 3 If an online friend has asked me to send a picture of myself to them, what should I do? A Tell them that you dont share your pictures online. B Send then pictures of yourself Slide 33 Yes! Nice job! You should NEVER send pictures of yourself, your family or your friends to anyone on the Internet. If someone has asked you for your picture, you should tell your parents or even your favorite teacher. Slide 34 Question 4 If I am mad at someone, its okay for me to say mean things to them or talk to other people about them when I am online. Trueor False Slide 35 Great job! You are correct! You should never to to make someone feel bad by saying mean things to them or about them, even though they may have done the same thing to you. Slide 36 Question 5 If I am on a website that is asking me to register to enter their site, I should always talk to my parents about it first. TrueorFalse Slide 37 YES! Thats it! You should NEVER give our personal information, even if you think its harmless when registering with a kids website. Always talk to your parents first. Slide 38 Question 6 Its OK for me to look at websites that have bad pictures or words. For SureNo Way Slide 39 That was a really great answer! You should never go to websites that show pictures or words that your parents or teachers would not like. Follow your home and school Internet rules. If you dont know the rules, ask. And if you accidentally see a website like this, tell your parents or your teacher. Slide 40 Question 7 If someone sends you an e-mail that has an attachment of a link to a website, what should you do? A Open the e-mail and the attachments or links B Dont open the e-mail, Tell your parents or a teacher Slide 41 Awesome answer! You should never open attachments or web links from an e-mail, even if you know the person. Attachments can have viruses that may cause your computer to stop working and web links can take you to websites that may be bad or scary. Congratulations! Awesome job! You finished the game! Slide 42 Overview, courtesy of the ID AG http://www.icacidaho.org/teens/teens_index.html Some people on the Internet are only there to hurt you Its dangerous to get together with someone you met online Speak up! Your parents really do care, even if you think they dont Keep your personal information to yourself! Do you know what Identity theft is? Not all websites are meant for you Dont respond to harassing messages or bulletins Be considerate in your posts Never open e-mails from people you dont know Stay out of chat rooms Never post pictures or send them to someone you meet online Talk to people you know and love, not your online friends No nude photos Slide 43 Handouts: Teen Internet Surfing Tips How to Prevent Sexting Family Internet Contract Slide 44 Social Media 10 Facebook Safety Tips How to Protect Yourself 1.Do not place your personal info on your Facebook profile 2.Be careful when placing photographs of yourself on Facebook set privacy settings to maximum 3.Do not ever think that your Facebook page is private amongst only your friends and family 4.Do not accept all Friend Requests 5.Be sure to keep your house clean 6.Be sure to watch what you place on your Wall 7.Do not leave your computer on with your Facebook account open 8.Be sure to have virus software for your computer and keep it updated 9.Spend time checking your spelling and grammar 10.Be careful not to provide too much information Slide 45 http://support.google.com/youtube/bin/request.py?hl=en&contact_type=abuse Slide 46