Creating Healthy Creating Healthy Boundaries at Work Boundaries at Work

and Beyond….and Beyond….

Fall 2010 MCAAP Conference Fall 2010 MCAAP Conference Presented by the MCPS EAPPresented by the MCPS EAP

240-314-1040240-314-1040

Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives To increase your understanding of boundaries and limit setting To increase your understanding of boundaries and limit setting

To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries as administrators To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries as administrators

To share best practices for effectively setting and maintaining To share best practices for effectively setting and maintaining boundariesboundaries

To understand the role of the EAP with underperforming, To understand the role of the EAP with underperforming, challenging staffchallenging staff

MCPS MCPS Employee Assistance ProgramEmployee Assistance Program

Short term counseling , assessment and Short term counseling , assessment and referralreferral

CostCost EligibilityEligibility Problem typesProblem types Referrals (self, supervisor and other)Referrals (self, supervisor and other) Confidentiality/recordsConfidentiality/records Other services: workshops, crisis response, Other services: workshops, crisis response,

newsletter, access point to mediation, websitenewsletter, access point to mediation, website Times/locationTimes/location

ExerciseExercise

Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about a time Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about a time when setting a limit with someone when setting a limit with someone who was challenging.who was challenging.

What are Personal Boundaries?What are Personal Boundaries?

Personal boundaries are guidelines, Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave ways for other people to behave around them and how they will around them and how they will respond when someone steps respond when someone steps outside those limits.outside those limits.

Boundaries can be…Boundaries can be…

FlexibleFlexible • too flexible and it is easy to feel too flexible and it is easy to feel

overwhelmed;overwhelmed;• makes it difficult to set priorities and follow makes it difficult to set priorities and follow

themthem

Rigid Rigid • too rigid and cultural differences are ignoredtoo rigid and cultural differences are ignored• decisions are not based on the context of decisions are not based on the context of

the relationshipthe relationship

BoundariesBoundaries

PhysicalPhysical – choosing how close you – choosing how close you allow people to come to you allow people to come to you

EmotionalEmotional – maintaining emotional – maintaining emotional distance; setting limits on how you distance; setting limits on how you want to be treated by others;want to be treated by others;

EthicalEthical – determined by your – determined by your professional and/or personal code of professional and/or personal code of ethicsethics

From AASA’s Statement of Ethics From AASA’s Statement of Ethics for Educational Leadersfor Educational Leaders

“…“…The educational leader provides professional leadership across the The educational leader provides professional leadership across the district and also across the community. This responsibility requires the district and also across the community. This responsibility requires the leader to maintain standards of exemplary professional conduct while leader to maintain standards of exemplary professional conduct while recognizing that recognizing that his or her actions will be viewed and appraised his or her actions will be viewed and appraised by the community, professional associates and studentsby the community, professional associates and students .”.”

“…“…always acts in a always acts in a trustworthy and responsible mannertrustworthy and responsible manner.”.” Avoids using his/her position for personal gain through political, social, Avoids using his/her position for personal gain through political, social,

religious, economic or other influences.religious, economic or other influences. Accepts academic degrees or professional certification only from Accepts academic degrees or professional certification only from

accredited institutions.accredited institutions. Maintains the standards and seeks to improve the effectiveness of the Maintains the standards and seeks to improve the effectiveness of the

profession through research and continuing professional development.profession through research and continuing professional development. Honors all contracts until fulfillment, release or dissolution mutually Honors all contracts until fulfillment, release or dissolution mutually

agreed upon by all parties.agreed upon by all parties. Accepts responsibility and accountability for one’s own actions Accepts responsibility and accountability for one’s own actions

and behaviors.and behaviors. Commits to serving others above self.Commits to serving others above self.

What Makes it What Makes it Challenging to Maintain Challenging to Maintain

Boundaries and Set Boundaries and Set Limits?Limits?

SA/Mental Disorders Lifetime SA/Mental Disorders Lifetime PrevalencePrevalence

Anxiety disorders - 28.8%Anxiety disorders - 28.8% Mood disorders - 20.8%Mood disorders - 20.8% Substance use disorders - 14.6%Substance use disorders - 14.6% Median age of onset is much earlier for anxiety (11 Median age of onset is much earlier for anxiety (11

years) and impulse-control (11 years) disorders than years) and impulse-control (11 years) disorders than for substance use (20 years) and mood (30 years) for substance use (20 years) and mood (30 years) disorders. disorders.

Half of all lifetime cases start by age 14 years and Half of all lifetime cases start by age 14 years and three fourths by age 24 years. three fourths by age 24 years.

Any disorder - 46.4%.Any disorder - 46.4%.

Arch Gen Psychiatry.Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2005;62:593-602.  2005;62:593-602.

The Usual StepsThe Usual Steps

Praying for a miraclePraying for a miracle Reason will prevailReason will prevail PleadingPleading BleedingBleeding

Warning SignsWarning Signs

Attendance problemsAttendance problems Performance deteriorationPerformance deterioration Behavior changesBehavior changes Increase in accidentsIncrease in accidents Health problemsHealth problems Change in interpersonal relationshipsChange in interpersonal relationships

Referral Steps: Referral Steps:

Observe - BaselineObserve - Baseline Document – get feedbackDocument – get feedback Inform – setting, Inform – setting,

preparationpreparation Refer Refer Follow-upFollow-up

Group Exercise

Brainstorm boundaries and setting Brainstorm boundaries and setting limits:limits:• For each example, discuss what limits For each example, discuss what limits

you would setyou would setFF

ExamplesExamples You receive a rude or belligerent e-mail from a You receive a rude or belligerent e-mail from a

parent who has some status in the community.parent who has some status in the community.

You are told by a staff member that another You are told by a staff member that another staff member, who is a good employee, has staff member, who is a good employee, has been coming to work with alcohol on their been coming to work with alcohol on their breath. breath.

You are now supervising someone who used to You are now supervising someone who used to be a colleague of yours. They have a negative be a colleague of yours. They have a negative attitude towards you, making subtle attitude towards you, making subtle disparaging remarks to you in front of others.disparaging remarks to you in front of others.

Should you be on Facebook? Should you be on Facebook?

ExamplesExamples

You’re aware that a friend of yours who is a You’re aware that a friend of yours who is a peer administrator, is handling a situation peer administrator, is handling a situation unethically.unethically.

You become the supervisor of someone who is You become the supervisor of someone who is a personal friend that you do things with. a personal friend that you do things with. He/she has been coming in late. He/she has been coming in late.

You supervise someone you used to be a peer. You supervise someone you used to be a peer.

Should you be friends with people on your Should you be friends with people on your staff? staff?

ExamplesExamples

There are problems with the child of a There are problems with the child of a teacher who is on your staff.teacher who is on your staff.

A long time staff member, who you like, has A long time staff member, who you like, has started coming in late. When you approach started coming in late. When you approach him/her , they tell you it’s because of a him/her , they tell you it’s because of a problem at home, and they’ll be able to problem at home, and they’ll be able to take care of it soon.take care of it soon.

Your child works for MCPS and is having Your child works for MCPS and is having problems with their supervisor.problems with their supervisor.

Closing…..Closing…..

Know your limits/boundaries – lines Know your limits/boundaries – lines you will not cross and won’t let you will not cross and won’t let others crossothers cross

Recognize your role Recognize your role Use positive communication skillsUse positive communication skills Build resiliencyBuild resiliency Focus on what you have control overFocus on what you have control over Use EAP as a resourceUse EAP as a resource

Thanks for coming!Thanks for coming! For more information about the EAP, For more information about the EAP,

contact us at contact us at 240-314-1040240-314-1040

or visit our website at: or visit our website at: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/eap/http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/eap/