Cracking Ok Cupid

8/19/2019 Cracking Ok Cupid

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Copyright © 2015 by This Is Trouble

http://www.thisistrouble.com

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Failure 5

The Myths 10

The First Impression 17

The Pictures 24

The Lies 32

The Questions 44

The Search 48

The Screening 61The Opening 70

The Conversation 76

The Real World 81

The Date 92

The Bounce 98

The FAQs 103

The Finale 108


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The Failure

Mark sped home from work in excitement.

He was finally , after weeks of messaging, meeting up with his dream girl from

OKCupid. Rachel was cute, funny, smart, and they had a match rating of 84% according

to the questions posed to them on the website. Mark was taking her out to dinner at the

newly-opened Italian restaurant that was the talk of the town. Mark didn’t make very

much money at his mundane office job, and finances were tight. He knew the Italian

restaurant was pushing his budget, but rationalized that this is what it’d take to finallyget Rachel to go out with him. He was willing to bite the bullet.

Mark had been using OKCupid for two months now without much success. He’d

managed to collect half a dozen phone numbers at this point, but this was his first date

from the website. Hell, it was actually his first date in nearly six months, which was

when his ex-girlfriend dumped him - because she felt the passion in their relationship

was gone.

He had created his OKCupid profile due to increasing pressure from his friends to get

back in the dating game. After several weeks of their incessant nagging, Mark began the

tedious process of picking his best pictures and crafting a witty profile. He also

answering the never-ending questions that OKCupid threw at him – the questions that

promised him more, and better, matches. After he’d had spent over five hours on this

process, he started messaging women.

Mark had read many articles about how to use online dating, and a universal piece of

advice was to always read a women’s profile in its entirety. It was thought that this

showed that you were a thoughtful, and caring individual – who truly wanted to get to

know her, and cared far more about her personality than a man’s natural desire tosimply put his penis in her vagina. Mark figured that because he’d read this advice

from multiple sources, this must be how men are successful with online dating.

He began the tedious process of scavenging every piece of information off the profile of

every woman he had any interest in messaging. After making notes that would make a

college professor proud, he started crafting the ultimate opening message to these girls.


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He made sure to reference everything they had in common, pay them nice

compliments, and using plenty of emoticons. These unique messages were usually at

least 500 words.

Mark sent about five of these messages every night he spent on OKCupid, which was

usually about four nights a week. Out of the approximately twenty messages he sent

out every week, he received an average of two responses. But none of that mattered

now, because he was going out with Rachel now. Rachel! Mark couldn’t contain his

excitement.

Mark wanted everything to be perfect. On his way home from the office, he swung by

the restaurant to make sure there was no issue with the reservation. After confirming

there were no problems, he stopped at the grocery store to pick up a bouquet of flowers

before heading home to get ready. The bouquet cost $12.95, but it was worth it for this

girl.

Mark walked in the door to his apartment at 5:30, and knew he had to leave his

apartment at 6:25 to get to the restaurant fifteen minutes in advance of their 7:00 date.

He couldn’t be late.

Across town, Rachel was busy debating with her office friends whether she should go

on the date with Mark, or just flake on him at the last second. After all, she had already

been on another date this week and it was only Wednesday. Friday night would be a

night out with the girls, and she’d already been invited by a hot guy from OKCupid togo pop a bottle at a major club on Saturday night. Rachel had been corresponding with

Mark on OKCupid and text messaging for several weeks now. He had originally sent

her a very nice opening message, that she thought was sweet but did nothing to excite

her.

When Mark first asked for her phone number, she had told him she wasn’t ready for

that yet. In reality, she thought he wasn’t as exciting a prospect as the other two guys

she gave her number to that night. However, Mark continued to persist despite the

rejection. It was when he brought up wanting to try out the new Italian restaurant in

town that Rachel perked up. She messaged him back saying that she would love to tryit, as well – and gave Mark her phone number.

That was one week ago, and Mark had texted her every day since then, telling her all

about his day and how excited he was to meet her. The dread in Rachel had slowly been

building up throughout the week, but it was a free meal. Mark had already insisted on


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paying, prior to even meeting Rachel in person, and verifying that she actually looked

like the photos she had posted on OKCupid.

Her pictures were about three years old, but Rachel didn’t feel bad about it. She knew

she’d matured and was a much more sophisticated woman since the pictures had been

taken, and this should surely offset the fifteen pounds she had gained over the past

three years.

Rachel decided to go on the date, but rationalized that there was no need to go home

and change out of her work clothes. Yes, these would suffice just fine. She turned

around to her girlfriends and asked if they would like to get a drink before she met up

with Mark. She hoped with a cocktail or two already in her prior to the date, that maybe

it would be more bearable.

Mark made sure he looked his best for Rachel. He carefully picked out his best clothes – a nice pair of jeans and a freshly ironed dress shirt. He stepped in the shower, taking

care to scrub every inch of his body with soap. After the shower, he gave himself a fresh

shave, threw on a bit of cologne, and slipped on his clothes. Finally, he wound his

watch and stepped out the door feeling very confident.

He arrived at the restaurant at 6:45, just as planned. After checking in with the hostess,

he sat down outside to wait for his name to be called. At 7:00, there was still no sign of

Rachel. Mark sent her a text message asking where she was, and then heard his name

called. He decided to go and sit down, and shot off another text to Rachel letting herknow that he was already at the table. He began to wait while absentmindedly looking

at the wine list.

Meanwhile, Rachel had lost track of time at the bar with her friends. Finally, at 7:00, she

realized that she was hungry – how convenient that dinner was next on her schedule.

Settling the bill with her friends, she hopped in a cab and finally arrived at the

restaurant at 7:15. After a quick freshening in the bathroom, she finally joined Mark at

the table at 7:20.

Mark saw her coming towards him, and noted, with disappointment, that Rachel didnot look as good as her pictures. Shrugging this aside, he stood up to greet Rachel and

stuck out his hand for a greeting. She took it and gave a small smile, immediately sitting

down, ordering a cocktail, and burying herself in the menu. Mark fidgeted nervously

with his hands – they had already talked so much on OKCupid, and text messaging,

that he wasn’t sure what he had left to talk about.


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“She already knows everything about me!” Mark thought to himself in panic.

When her cocktail arrived, Rachel finally looked up. After ordering their food (Mark

ordered the beef lasagna, Rachel the salmon and spinach fettuccine), the couple made a

bit of small talk about their days. Mark thought he had made progress when he told her

how he had saved the day at work by fixing a programming blunder that his colleague

had made. However, as soon as he finished the story, Rachel buried herself in her

salmon again without the slightest hint of interest in him. Mark sensed he was blowing

it as the waiter cleared their main dishes. Hoping to make up for it, he offered dessert.

“You like chocolate, right? How about some fudge cake?”

Never one to turn down chocolate, as clearly evidenced by the fifteen pounds gained

since her pictures were taken Rachel pounced on the opportunity ordering a coffee for

good measure. After watching Rachel devour the majority of the fudge cake, Mark tooka look at the bill.

Beef lasagna: $17

Salmon: $25

Cocktail: $8

Fudge cake: $12

Coffee: $3

After Mark paid the bill with tax and tip, the total came to $82. He sighed to himself andtried to convince himself it was worth it as he watched Rachel scraping the last ounce of

fudge off of her plate.

The two cocktails she had before dinner, plus the one at the restaurant, left Rachel in a

position feeling it was unsafe to drive. Knowing what a gentleman Mark was, she coyly

asked if he would mind giving her a ride home. She apologized about living fifteen

minutes in the opposite direction of him, but Mark agreed to drive her home anyway.

Once they were outside of her apartment, Rachel thanked Mark for a great night. As

they hugged, Mark went for a kiss but his lips met Rachel’s cheek, not her lips.

“That’s a little too fast for me, Mark. I’m not that kind of girl,” Rachel stated. Mark said he

understood, wished her a good night amid an awkward hug, and drove the half hour

back to his own home.


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The next day, Mark texted Rachel, telling her what a great time he had, and asked if she

would like to go to an art exhibit on Saturday with him. Rachel never replied.

On Saturday she went to a club with the guy from OKCupid. She got drunk and fucked

him in the alley behind the club. His opening message to her was “hey.”

Mark ended up spending Saturday night on his computer, crafting new 500 word

opening messages in an attempt to find a new dream girl. It’s too bad Mark didn’t have

a book telling him how to really crack OKCupid.


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THE MYTHS

Mark’s story is similar to that of many men who have tried OKCupid, or other forms of

online dating. I know this because in 2013, I wrote a post on This Is Trouble, titled “5 Tips

To Cracking OKCupid.” A year later, thousands of readers have found that article

through Google and various other search engines, all looking for help on how to best

navigate the OKCupid dating waters. The majority of these searchers are men.

If these men were getting lots of responses, going on dates, and having lots of sex – they

wouldn’t be on Google looking for help with OKCupid. After an overwhelmingamount of requests for additional information, individual profile reviews, and a more

comprehensive guide; I decided to put everything that I had learned over my own years

of online dating into a book. This book will allow any man to create a profile from

scratch and experience success.

It should come as no surprise that this book does not contain the conventional advice

that many “gurus” on mainstream sites provide. Understand that those articles are

catered to both women and men – and must be politically correct. If you want to have

success on OKCupid, you must push aside the myths that many people have pushed

upon you.

Myth #1 - Looks

There are many people that fully believe the only guys who get dates online are “10s”.

Let’s start by clarifying that there are no 10s in a woman’s world. Every girl has a type

that based on drastically more complex standards than your average man.

For a man, the 1-10 rating is based almost entirely off of looks. If she’s not overweight,

that likely places her at a 6 on the scale to start. For simplicity’s sake, I’m talking aboutAmerican body types, which usually ere on the side of obese. If she has an excellent

body (i.e. better than average) and a good face, she will probably be an 8. After that, it’s

subjective. One man’s 8 will be another man’s 10. Another man’s 9 will only be a 7 to

the guy next to him. However, the foundation of the 1-10 rating scale is solid because

men generally agree that beauty, femininity, and fitness can all be judged the same

based around a pair of boobs and a vagina.


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If only women were so simple.

Women are attracted to power, money, confidence, and charisma. A fat man with all of

these qualities in spades will still be able to attract women, and will even be loved by

them. A fat woman with these qualities is the woman who ends up on the TV show

Hoarders for owning too many cats. All other things being equal, a man who is in shape

will likely do better than one who is fat, but the difference isn’t as marked as that

between a fat and slim woman.

Starting to come together?

Due to the various differences in personalities, upbringings, etc., women have a lot

more to be attracted, or not attracted to. One woman’s 10 might be another woman’s 3.

One woman’s 6 might be another’s 1. There is just no way of telling until you open yourmouth and give yourself a shot. Or, in this case, until you copy and paste the same

message you sent to the previous hundred girls.

What’s fascinating about OKCupid and other online dating sites or apps is that it de-

emphasizes what a woman would naturally consider attractive and instead makes them

- you guessed it - exactly like men. OKCupid and other technology based dating

mediums forces them to base their initial desire off of looks alone. When you’re

messaging girls on OKCupid, you have a split second of their attention.

You must capture it quickly or you’ll be tossed aside quicker than another pair of

semen-stained panties.

Many people will tell you that your pictures will absolutely make or break you in terms

of your OKCupid success. I’m here to tell you that it’s simply not true. I’ve run profiles

without any pictures to test this theory, and had astounding results with it. We’re

talking 50% response rates.

The real point I’m trying to drive home with this is this: looks don’t matter as many

would have you believe. I once made a profile without a picture and proved this. So, ifyou’re truly as ugly as a toad, that doesn’t mean you are out of the online dating game.

You just have to pick the best picture you can, taking full advantage of all the tricks

girls use (lighting, effects, side shots, secret-fat-hiding shots, etc.) and use them to your

benefit.

Even if you are ugly, you can still have outstanding success on OKCupid.


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Myth #2 - Women are on dating sites because they want something serious and are

tired of the bar scene

Once you start looking at women’s profiles on OKCupid, you’ll discover that at least

half of them have something written within their first few paragraphs along these lines:

“Hi! I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my self-

summary. I’m not very good at talking about myself. Anyways, I am NOT looking to

just hook-up, so please don’t message me if that is your intention. I have gotten tired of

meeting guys at bars and my friends encouraged me to try this out.”

Let’s debunk every lie in this generic statement.

“I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my self-summary.I ’m not very good at talking about myself. “

Women love to talk.

They especially love to talk about themselves, their lives, and their friends. This

statement is a vain attempt to give you the impression that they aren’t like other girls

who talk too much - which is nearly every girl on the planet.

“Anyways, I am NOT looking to just hook-up, so please don’t message me if that is yourintention.”

This one is the closest to being the truth. Even if a woman truly was on a dating website

or app with the sole intention of hooking up, she would never, in a million years,

convince herself of that, much make it known in a public space. She will rationalize her

actions - no matter how insane and illogical they are - to her grave.

This behavior is a biological firewall, because women don’t want to be perceived as

sluts by their friends or by you. As much as today’s culture promotes equal opportunity

and encourages girls to be slutty, men are still disgusted by the thought of committingto a long-term relationship with a slut. Women know this deep down, so they go

through every trick in the book to tell themselves they aren’t a slut.

A friend of mine (credit: LaidNYC, rest in peace) summed this up well when he said,

“A girl saying she can go out and get laid is like me saying I can buy a girl dinner.”


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Now, some women are genuinely looking for relationships on OKCupid. Some of them

truly won’t hook up with you on the first date. But, the myth I’m debunking here is that

when they say they aren’t looking for a hookup - it doesn’t mean they won’t.

I can’t tell you how many times a girl that said she didn’t want to hook up ended up

face down, ass up on the first date.

Myth #3 - People will think I’m “weird” for doing online dating.

Truthfully, who cares what other people think about you?

You are your own man and nobody else should have any say over how you meet

women. Am I saying you should use OKCupid so you can cower behind your keyboard

and monitor, never developing the skills to talk to a real, live, breathing woman? No,

absolutely not.

But you needn’t feel ashamed of using OKCupid as a viable tool in your dating arsenal.

This is especially the case in today’s world of overpriced drinks, bitch shields, and

horrendous guy-to-girl ratios at nearly every social venue. While some people will say,

“Do day game!” it’s easy to realize that this is not a realistic option for all people; namely

those that have full time jobs.

Now that we’ve established that you shouldn’t be ashamed for fucking girls off

OKCupid, you should know this: our generation is beyond the point where onlinedating is considered weird or shameful. Nearly every person I know between the ages

of 18-40 has used OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, or Match at some point in their lives.

I know a few people that met their eventual husband or wife on an online dating site.

This world has gone from a place where face-to-face interaction was required in all

aspects of life to a world in which face-to-face interaction is now considered inferior to

technological communications.

To show that OKCupid and other technological ways of meeting women are no longer

shameful tactics, you need look no further than how text messaging has developed over

the past couple of years. Remember how a man used to be considered a coward if hewouldn’t call a woman on the phone to ask her out? These days, he’d be labeled as a

weirdo if he did call her. Texting is now considered perfectly acceptable and normal as a

way of asking a woman out.

Only time will tell if someday, picking up a girl in person is considered the “weird”

thing to do. I wouldn’t be shocked if it is sooner, rather than later.


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Myth #4 - You need to personalize every message

All of the so-called “experts” on OKCupid and online dating advocate that you must do

the following things:

1.) Read a woman’s profile in its entirety. In addition, you should also read every

question she has answered, and be able to recite her answers from memory.

2.) Carefully craft a message to her based off her profile and your interests.

3.) Said message should be not too long, but also not too short.

You know what the real problem is with the advice to read every profile and

personalize a message? You would spend the entirety of your free time doing exactlythis. Which means you wouldn’t be able to pursue cool hobbies, build your body, and

generally do the things that make you more attractive to women in the first place. If you

truly had to sift through her ten to fifteen paragraphs of bullshit and then craft a

perfectly penned original message to her, you’d be lucky to get out five messages sent

in an hour.

Hell, that last piece of advice is stupid on its face. What if she has ADD, or is dyslexic?

What’s too long then? What’s too short?

OKCupid “experts” are full of awful advice you should ignore. You do not need to

personalize every message. In fact, you don’t even need to be bothered to read the

profile.

I fully advocate copying and pasting the same message to every single woman on

OKCupid within a second of opening her profile and seeing that she’s not dog-ugly.

Don’t listen to the experts; there is no need for personalized messages.

Myth #5 - Success requires a long, detailed profile

There is no need to tell your entire life story in your OKCupid profile. If we go back to

Attraction 101 (countless resources out there, including my own blog) , you’ll know that

women love some level of some mystery in a man. Spilling your soul on a profile is not

the way to be mysterious.

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Personally, my OKCupid profile has rarely had more than two or three paragraphs,

total.

On top of that, those few paragraphs are all within the “Self Summary” section. I don’t

waste my time talking about my favorite movies and the six things I could never live

without. You can talk about those things on the first date, once attraction has already

been established.

Until then, less is more. Memorize that phrase and apply it to everything in your life as

it relates to women. OKCupid profiles are no exception to this.


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SUMMARY

▪ You do not need to be a “10” in order to be successful on OKCupid. In fact, you can

be ugly and have success. You just need to make your pictures the best you can,

which is what all girls do anyway – so don’t feel bad about it.

▪ Men and women are not attracted to the same thing, and the sooner you accept this,

the better off you will be.

▪ Women will never admit they are on a dating site for sex. However, those who claim

they want a serious relationship will hop right into bed with you if your game is

strong.

▪ You are not weird for using online dating to meet girls. We are well into the 21st

century, and technology is continuing to take us away from in person interactions, tousing an LED screen to compensate. Many people who would better off if they’d just

accept this.

▪ Do not personalize every message to every woman. Copying and pasting a generic

opener that is successful is the best method to getting dates without wasting

enormous amounts of your precious time.

▪ Be a little mysterious. Do not tell your life story on your profile.


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The First Impression

The first thing you must do when you create your OKCupid profile is pick a username.

Granted, some of you probably already have active profiles prior to purchasing this

book, but don’t sweat it. This is the least important part of your profile, but you do

want it to be congruent with the rest of your profile.

Congruent means your username shouldn’t be something lame or cheesy – use your

best judgment. If you love snowboarding, using the username “sn0boarder77” is a

cliché, so put a little effort into the matter. It is unlikely that a girl will actually hold thatagainst you, but remember that your username is the first thing that they see along with

your picture.

I’ve always had a profile that skirts the line of being a charming bastard. Therefore, I’ve

had a lot of success with usernames along the lines of:

ImAPrincess

CupidPlayer

CassanovaCupid

Troublemaker

I have also run profiles without any sort of attention grabbing username, and I’ve never

seen a large enough drop off in response rates to warrant running a test to see the

effectiveness of usernames. What I will say is that usernames like I’ve listed above will

give girls a conversation starter with you if they are so inclined, and they will often

bring it up as a way of establishing rapport with you once you’ve started a

conversation.

Granted, they will likely be poking fun at you, but this is a great opportunity to makefun of yourself, establishing attraction and outcome independence with her. In today’s

world of men who are “sensitive”, being able to have a bit of self-depreciating humor

shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously – and you shouldn’t give the impression

that you are treating online dating like a life or death matter.

Once you’ve selected a username (a more tedious process now, thanks to the high

expectations this book sets), it’s time to start filling out the rest of your textual profile


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(questions, photos, and more are covered in depth in the next chapters). To start, I’m

going to show exactly what I have written in my current profile. Please do not copy this

word for word. I don’t say this as a way to be selfish or keep all the goodies to myself.

After all, you did pay for this book. I simply don’t want hundreds and thousands of

young men across the world using this exact profile. Sooner or later, women will catch

on and you will get called out. Then all of us will have to write new profiles.

In regards to your profile, congruency is vital. If you utilize a sarcastic and cocky profile

like I do, your messages need to match that. If that attitude isn’t you in real life, she will

be confused when you meet up for the first date. Be prepared to back up what your

profile states.

I’ll admit, I’ve used parts of other profiles I’ve seen referenced over the years to craft

this one – specifically the first two paragraphs. I strongly encourage you to use Cracking

OKCupid and other resources to piece together a beginning profile. In no way

whatsoever should you ever copy and paste a profile, or even parts of one, exactly word

for word, for the reasons listed above.


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You probably made the assumption this is the ‘My self-summary’ section, and are

wondering where the rest of my profile is. Well, that section is the only part of my

profile that I have filled out. The concept of “less is more” will repeatedly show itself

throughout the contents of this book. You certainly can fill out the rest of your profile,

and I’m going to help you do it. I have had success both ways, but this is how I

currently run my profile.

The other sections of an OKCupid profile are listed below. Filling out the summary is

the most important part of a good profile. As you read the breakdowns of what you

should and shouldn’t write in the respective sections, you will notice a common theme.

If you have something that is cool or interesting to share, you should say it. If you don’t,

then you should either spin that statement to be more positive or substitute sarcasm as

necessary.

OKCUPID PROFILE SECTIONS

What I’m doing with my life

I’m really good at

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

The six things I could never do without

I spend a lot of time thinking about

On a typical Friday night I am

You should message me if

What I’m doing with my life

This is a section that is set up to make men fail. There is no universally “correct”

answer. A profession that’s a jackpot for a girl who’s a teacher would be chump change

for the girl who is a lawyer. As I discuss later in this book, lying or slightly exaggerating

the truth is completely fair game. If you’re in college studying aerospace engineering,

write that you are hoping to work at NASA in the near future. If you are a poor

musician performing on the street, write that you are working on an album. If you flip

burgers, say that you’re a chef.

The trick to all of these “lies” is to own them and hold your frame.

In the case that you have a solid and stable career that would impresses girls, you can

mention it, but don’t make a big deal out of it. Stating that you’re a doctor is okay, and

you could even go into the specifics of your practice. However, writing that you are the


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number one brain surgeon in California and you save four lives a day is overkill and

will make you look like an insecure tool.

For your reference, here are careers that will generally be attractive to women.

Doctors

Lawyers

Engineers (provided you make good money and aren’t “uber” geeky)

Firemen

Police officers

Personal trainers

Musicians and artists, though these are hit or miss

Most positions where there is money and/or power involved

I’m really good at

This section is dedicated to your hobbies, interests, and any special talents you may

possess. Every girl is going to have different qualities that she finds attractive in a man,

as I explain in the “Myths” chapter of this book. Don’t fret too much about what you

put here. If you have cool hobbies or talents, you should share them. Some examples:

Musical instruments

Artistic talents

Dancing Sports

Cooking

Juggling, or other silly tricks

Make sure you elaborate on what you are really good at. Just saying that you like to

play pickup basketball with your friends is dull, but if you elaborate it and tell a story

about how you hit a half-court buzzer beater in 5th grade and that it is your career

highlight, the section becomes much more interesting.

If you need a starting point, here is what I would personally write.

I feel like this section would be far more entertaining if it was what I’m not good at, but

here goes.

I’ve played guitar for ten years now, but the only song I’m really good at playing is

Wonderwall. I raced go karts growing up (yes, it’s a real thing!) and occasionally like to


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go drifting around parking lots in the dead of night. I’m also really good at saying the

alphabet backwards.

Note that talking about how you won a video game championship playing Call of Duty

is not something that will inspire moist vaginas.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

If you are going to skip a section, this is it. In fact, I recommend you do. The talk about

your “favorites” is what boring men talk about when they run out of things to say on a

date. On top of that, it peers too far into your personal life, potentially killing all the

mystery about yourself before a girl has a chance to meet you. These are topics that

people who are dating eventually begin to discover about each other because they

genuinely like each other, not something that should be read on an iPhone screen as a

resume.

If you insist on filling this part out, make sure it’s not lame, but is truthful – because if

she brings it up, you need to be able to hold a conversation about it. This means no

mention of Twilight, The Notebook, Sex and the City, Nicki Minaj, or cupcakes.

The six things I could never do without

First off, mentioning family, friends, air, water, food (as a general term), iPhones, music

and love are all extremely cliché, so don’t do it. Also pass on mentioning sex as one ofthe six things you couldn’t do without, because it makes you look desperate.

These six items should be personal to you, not a life necessity, which most of the above

“don’ts” are. For example, here is what I’ve written. Remember, I like to be very

sarcastic.

You mean, besides Taylor Swift and 50 Shades of Grey?

Puppies, because who doesn’t love fucking puppies

My guitar

That little voice in my head that tells me not to do stupid things

A suga mama

…you?


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I spend a lot of time thinking about

Ideally, you are a man who is too busy with cool activities going on in his life to waste

time daydreaming about nothing. As a result, your thought processes should be about

how you will kill your upcoming workout, your business, or other interests and/or

passions in your life.

This is a section that won’t hurt you to skip, if you can’t come up with anything good.

In fact, unless you have something truly inspiring, I recommend you leave this section

alone.

On a typical Friday night I am

Be cautious with this one. While you don’t want to seem like a loser who doesn’t have

anything going on Friday nights, you also don’t want to give the impression that youare an out-of-control party animal who can’t grow up. Obviously, there is an exception

to this with the party girls.

If you have an interesting life that allows you access to the exclusive tiers of the

nightlife crowd, by all means you should talk about it – and if you can back it up with

pictures, all the better.

An example of what I’ve used:

Nothing is typical about my Fridays. A good chunk of the time, I’m out and about

coaching my clients that come to me via my self-improvement blog. If not, I’m probably

eating ice cream out of the carton, watching The Notebook, and crying about the latest

girl who broke my heart.

You should message me if

This is your best chance in the entire profile to clearly state that you have high

standards for a girl you are going to go out with. Stating your high standards in a way

that comes across as genuinely humble gives off the impression that you are a highvalue man with his choice of women in the world. Biologically, a woman will be drawn

to this.

The ending of the profile I previously showed is actually an excellent template to write

this section.


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I'd love to meet someone that is at a similar point in life (young professional) to get into

some trouble with. I enjoy a fit LIFESTYLE (that does NOT mean I go to the gym and

walk on a treadmill once a week, it means I take care of myself as a whole). I dabble in

various sports, play guitar, and enjoy taking random adventures to Europe of Mexico for

the hell of it once in a while. I do tend to get along a lot better with people who are a little

older than me, so don't hold it against me.

The ending of your profile is your chance to clearly spell out the expectations for the

women who are involved in your life. If a girl on OKCupid doesn’t like it, that’s simply

too bad. I strongly encourage you to give this section some real thought, and continue

to hold yourself to the high standards you will set. Doing this will instill a greater self-

confidence, which benefits you in all aspects of life.


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SUMMARY

Pick a username that isn’t cliché. Ideally, your username should give her an

opportunity to make conversation with you.

Congruency is critical to the process. Your profile should match up with the man

who messages girls and then takes them out on dates. If you are an asshole online

and then a sappy nice guy in person, something is going to seem off to the girls you

go out with.

Often times, less is more. Don’t feel compelled to write a novel for each section of

your profile.

Some sections are good to demonstrate high value (what you’re good at, what

you’re doing, you should message me if), and others will be the death of yourresponse rate (six things, favorite things).

There are many great resources scattered online about how to write a profile. Don’t

hesitate to experiment, and use a different city if you want to make drastic changes

and see the results. Of course, track your progress via an Excel spreadsheet.


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The Pictures

When you register your OKCupid account, once past the age/gender/ preferences

section, you’ll be asked to upload a picture. While I debunked the whole “pictures are

everything” myth earlier, you will have more success if you actually do upload photos

and good photos at that.

I have seven rules of building your photos.

Rule #1 - The first picture should (obviously) be your best

This seems fairly obvious, doesn’t it? But you would be amazed at how many people

don’t do this. I’ve looked over and reviewed dozens of men’s profiles at this point and

it is a consistent pattern. I don’t even think its bad taste; it’s simply a lack of knowledge.

Girls in general, especially in today’s world of selfies, are all amateur professional

photographers when it comes to getting the angles just right to illuminate (read:

manipulate) their features exactly to the way they want.

What makes up your best photo? That’s subjective. If you’re in good shape, then

perhaps a full body picture is in order. If you have an ugly mug, then maybe a side

profile photo is your best shot.

If you can’t tell yourself what your best photo is, this is something that a female

friend/sister/mom can actually give you good advice on. Usually, female advice is well-

intentioned but flawed, but this is one time you can take their advice.. Ask a couple of

trusted females to rank some photos of you, and see if a pattern holds true.

However, in no way shape or form should your main profile picture be too busy. When

I say this, I mean that you should simply be the focus of the picture, not a large group.

Put your best face forward.


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Rule #2 - Be careful with the shirtless mirror pictures

I know that a big theme in this book is that girls like a bit of arrogance , so the following

advice might seem counterintuitive.

For whatever reason though, the shirtless mirror picture tends to cross that line into too

arrogant. Again, it’s worth reiterating that women are not basing their entire attraction

off of a set of washboard abs (certainly doesn’t hurt) like men base nearly their entire

attractions off of boobs and ass.

While I’ve never used a shirtless picture as my main picture, I’ve seen plenty of guys

get ignored from my female friends on OKCupid simply because they had a shirtless

selfie on their profile. It’s an automatic disqualification.

My theory on this is it’s because there are simply too many guys out there all trying that

trick in a desperate ploy to get a girl’s attention. It’s usually followed up by a poorly

written, insecurity-reeking profile and an even more eye-rolling opening message. Girls

sense their overall low value and realize that the shirtless selfie is just a way of trying to

make up for that lack of confidence.

A man utilizing shirtless pictures to make up for an obvious lack of self-esteem is

similar to a fat chick taking off her clothes hoping it makes up for her being fat.

It’s not a pretty sight.

Now, this applies to shirtless selfies and mirror pictures. Other shirtless pictures, in the

proper context, will absolutely make a girl more attracted to you. I used a picture of me

in my wetsuit (top unzipped, abs showing) to great success. The key is to be out and

about doing something to show off that body - not sitting around in your bathroom

taking pictures in the mirror.

If you have pictures of yourself shirtless playing beach volleyball, swimming, or other

athletic activities, you are safe to go ahead and use them. Just stay away from the selfiesand mirror shots.


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Rule #3 - Regarding others, or props, in your photos

In regards to this rule, it’s best to break these situations into sub-rules.

Other chicks - You can absolutely put other chicks in your pictures, but there is one

condition: they need to be hot. I wouldn’t even bother with average or “cute” girls.

Potential new dates will think you are a player. But, a hot girl by your side will send the

female’s brain into hamster overdrive.

“What does he have going for him that such a hot girl is with him?”

“I’m not that hot…shit, am I ugly? Should I kill myself? Or better yet…kill her…”

Other dudes - Never. Go back and read about how one woman’s 10 is another’s 3. She

might see your friend and think, “Hmm, I wonder if he’s single…”

Babies - Be really careful with this one. It very much depends upon your age and the

age of the girl you’re hoping to land. A girl who is 18-21 is going to see you with a baby

and probably think that it’s cute. It might win you some points, or it might be a

completely neutral outcome.

However, if a girl is 28-32, and you’re older, you can bet every dollar you spent on this

book that she is going to look at you with that baby and immediately lock you into the

provider zone. This means that you won’t be getting the fast sex she readily supplied tomen in her past endeavors. Instead, you’ll be stuck wining and dining her while she

plots how to best poke a hole in the condom in your wallet.

Puppies - Are a great idea. It’s hard to go wrong. It doesn’t matter if it’s an actually cute

puppy or if it’s one of those ugly ones that you just simply feel sorry for. Utilize a

picture with a puppy and it’s guaranteed to be something she will mention.

There is only one exception to this rule. The puppy can’t be a gay small dog that you

wouldn’t be surprised to be seen being carried around in a woman’s purse. Having a

dog like that in your OKCupid profile will lose you points.


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Rule #4 - Don’t be a frat boy.

To be clear, this rule applies to all of your photos, not just your main profile picture.

There is no reason for you to show your super wild side in these pictures. It doesn’t

reflect well on you.

Would you put “partying” on your job application?

While there certainly are party girls on OKCupid, the vast majority of females are going

to be turned off by the image of you double fisting a couple of 40’s while

simultaneously looking as if you’re about to hurl your guts everywhere. The fraternity,

party guy image is generally not attractive to women.

Even at university, my experience showed me that most girls don’t find frat boysattractive - unless they are in one of the top frats. Frankly, if you’re not in a top frat you

are much better off not even joining a fraternity at all. While the frat boy persona can

work well at a fraternity party , it’s not something women are actively looking for.

If you are a promoter, or have great connections in the nightlife industry, then it’s not a

bad idea to show this off. If you have pictures of you suited up in a VIP table, you

should absolutely be utilizing these. However, if your party photo album consists of you

dressed up like another Average Joe, I wouldn’t bother.

This rule doesn’t mean you can’t show a picture of yourself drinking a beer at a BBQ,

suited up sipping on a gin and tonic, or from showing any pictures in which there is

alcohol involved. Just keep the actual rule itself in mind - do not look like an idiotic frat

boy.

Rule #5 - Activities in pictures

I touched briefly on this in Rule #1, when I stated that your main profile picture

shouldn’t be too busy, like you in a large group setting where it’s tough to identify who

you are. However, activities, hobbies, and pictures of you doing cool things are anexception to this, provided you adhere to following the previously listed rules.

I’m aware that many guys who use OKCupid are on it because they’re more

comfortable in front of a screen with a keyboard in their hands. If this is you, don’t fret -

that’s why you have this book. Just know that the following hobbies are rarely cool to

women.


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Video games

Anime

Basically anything that involves a computer, television, or other type of

LCD/LED screen.

No, the picture of you winning the local Counter-Strike tournament won’t help your

cause. Neither will that picture of you dressed up as a Star Wars character at Comic-

Con. Ditto for anything else that you’d imagine a the popular guy in high school

making fun of a nerd for. Women are brutal judges and this will not help you build

attraction.

Granted, there are exceptions to the rules; girls who are nerds themselves may be

drawn to pictures involving these activities. But for the sake of simplicity, I’m going to

go ahead and assume that you are focusing on landing a quantity of quality girls onOKCupid and not looking for one nerdy diamond in the rough. If you’re interested in

that, there are sites out there dedicated solely to helping gamers meet and date. I

wouldn’t be able to tell you how to get laid on those, though.

In any case, the following activities (and many others) are acceptable, provided, that

you have adhered to the other rules that I’ve laid out.

Hunting, fishing, or other outdoor activities

Martial arts

Any extreme sports (mountain biking, snowboarding, skating, wakeboarding,

etc.)

Endurance sports are fine (triathlons, marathons, etc.)

How do I know this? I’ve tested dozens of my own photos and run trial and error

profiles. I’ve analyzed my student’s profiles their results. Finally, I’ve watched some of

my girl friends interact with men on OKCupid, paying close attention to their reaction.

This is all based off of the actions and results I have observed hundreds of time over the

course of doing online dating for several years.

Cool, active hobbies -> You get labeled as adventurous, “fun”, etc.

Nerdy, geeky hobbies -> You get labeled as - you guessed it - a nerd.


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Rule #6 - More, more, more.

Another myth the OKCupid “experts” like to spit out is that you should use every

available photo slot you can. While you’re at it, you might as well link your Instagram,

Facebook, and other social media sites for good measure.

No, no, NO.

As I’ve already covered, and will continue to harp on - when it comes to women, less is

more. Women tend to speak, write, and just convey general nonsense a good portion of

the time. It’s all just filler, and you’ll come to recognize this as you have more in depth

interactions with them. In an ideal, healthy, and happy relationship, you will speak

about half (or less!) of the amount that a girl does.

The same experts telling you to wear your emotions on your sleeve and tell womeneverything are telling you to upload an entire photographer’s portfolio to your

OKCupid account. Giving a woman a photo album of your entire life prior to seeing her

in person is a ticket to pass go, and proceed directly to the Friend Zone.

Don’t do it.

For a very long time, I used only one photo of myself on my OKCupid profile. I had

significantly more success with it than I did when I had anywhere from 5-10 photos.

What made that photo so good?

It utilized my side profile, which is one of my stronger features

It was black and white, giving it a little intrigue and mystery

I had a guitar (massive attraction for girls)

I presented more of a casual, laid back vibe and was not smiling. Girls don’t

want a man who is too emotional

This is why Rule #1 regarding picking the best of your pictures is so critical. On

OKCupid, women are judging in a similar way a man would judge women, by looks

alone.


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Rule #7 - Don’t give her a reason not to respond

As mentioned before, women are a fickle bunch. From the chapter regarding OKCupid

myths, you’ll remember that women have a dynamic, ever-changing scale on which

they judge men. It might be different based on where they are in their monthly cycle -

and I’m not kidding.

The point of this rule goes hand in hand with #6 (less is more). The reason I started

downsizing from a dozen pictures, down to three, and eventually to just one is that by

showing too many photos I was giving women a reason not to respond to me. It’s better

to show her three outstanding photos which turn her on, as opposed to uploading

seven photos, one of which makes her say, “Eh.”


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SUMMARY

▪ Rule #1: Start your profile off strong; the first picture should be the best. Get help

from your friends to help you determine what your best picture is.

▪ Rule #2: If you’re going to go shirtless, don’t be in front of a mirror. Surfing, beach

volleyball, or other activities where you are out having a good time are perfectly

acceptable for you to rock the shirtless look. Pro tip: don’t be fat.

▪ Rule #3: Hot girls, yes. Other dudes, no. Babies, maybe. Puppies, absolutely.

▪ Rule #4: You are no longer in college. Therefore, retire the pictures of you doing the

keg stand.

▪

Rule #5: Be careful about what hobbies you show in your pictures. Mountain bikingor kicking someone’s ass in Krav Maga – cool. Video games and anime – not cool.

▪ Rule #6: Less is more. Enigmas, mystery, intrigue. Uploading your entire life’s

timeline of pictures spoils the mystery for the girl.

▪ Rule #7: Keep it simple and don’t give her a reason to disqualify you off the bat by

putting up a picture not worthy of your profile.


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THE LIES

On the right hand side of your profile, there is a box for small details about you; it

contains the following information. You must fill this out.

▪ Orientation

▪ Ethnicity

▪ Height

▪ Body Type

▪

Diet

▪ Smokes

▪ Drinks

▪ Drugs

▪ Religion

▪ Sign

▪ Education

▪ Job

▪ Income

▪ Relationship Status

▪

Relationship Type

▪ Offspring

▪ Pets

▪ Speaks

The great thing about this little box is that it’s hands down your best opportunity to lie

about yourself and get away with it. However, this must be done in moderation. I will

explain in each section below how much you can get away with.

ORIENTATION

Options:

▪ Straight

▪ Gay

▪ Bisexual


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The only acceptable answer to this is that you are straight. If you swing both ways and

are truly bisexual, I would still list yourself as straight. Remember, there are no double

standards between women and men. Instead, they are simply different standards. While

most guys are turned on by a woman who is bisexual, women aren’t usually turned on

by bisexual men.

In fact, one of the OKCupid questions (covered in a later chapter) asks if you would be

with someone who’s had homosexual sex. Most women answer ‘no’ to this. Therefore,

it’s in your best interest to keep it straight.

If you need help picking up dudes, go on Grinder.

ETHNICITY

This isn’t one I would lie about, because it will be pretty obvious you’re not black whenyou show up to a date with sunburn on your pale face. If you’re white, you should put

white. If you’re Asian, put Asian.

However, there is a bit of leeway for those with multiple cultures in their blood. For

example, I’m a “Wasian” – half white, half Asian. I’d say I look more on the white side,

but I do have darker (“yellow”) skin, dark hair, and sometimes I have the telltale

squinty eyes. However, my best features, such as my green eyes, facial hair, and

shoulders, are definitely more prominent.

I like white girls more than other races; it’s just a personal preference. I don’t dislike

Asian girls, but it’s much more hit and miss with them; I think they’re either drop-dead

gorgeous or it just doesn’t do it for me. White girls have a broader “scale” that I’m open

to.

While I’m not going to argue race beyond this paragraph – for the most part in America,

white people are the more “valued” race. They have higher prestige than Asians do.

Therefore, I identify on my profile as white. You do have the option to list multiple, but

since I’m a half white guy mostly attracted to white girls, I only listed white. Ultimately,

it’s your call to make based off of your personal preferences and the demographics inyour area. It may take some experimenting to get it right.


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HEIGHT

This is one of the things you can get away with lying about, and you absolutely should

be lying if you're less than six feet tall. Girls will hold it against you if you're not up to

their height standards, so you should give yourself a little boost, so to speak.

Understand that you must be reasonable with this. If you're 5'6" but indicate that you're

5'11", she's going to realize it immediately upon meeting you, and won't be too happy

about the matter. Two inches is the maximum amount you should add on to your height.

This is all assuming that you are a charmer in person and can deflect any shit tests

about your lie, or just be so damn attractive she simply doesn't care that you're a few

inches shorter than what you claimed.

Personally, I stand about 5'8" but have 5'10" listed on my profile. If you're 6' tall,

congratulations - you're golden. No need to exaggerate.

BODY TYPE

Options:

▪ Rather not say

▪ Thin

▪ Overweight

▪ Skinny

▪

Average

▪ Fit

▪ Athletic

▪ Jacked

▪ A little extra

▪ Curvy

▪ Full-figured

▪ Used up

Just like height, this is one of the things you should lie about if you don't have an ideal

body. And again, this is assuming you can be a bit of a charmer in person. Yourexaggeration(s) should be within reason.

First, let's tackle guys who are naturally skinny or thin. Writing down that you are in

fact, skinny or thin, isn’t as attractive as athletic or fit. However, skinny people are

usually relatively fit. So just put fit or athletic. There are a lot of grey areas of what

constitutes a body type on online dating.


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On the other hand, if you're overweight, you need to be more careful. Under no

circumstances should you put that you are full figured or curvy. Those are girly terms.

If you're really big, and can't get by with putting average, just put overweight and own

it. If you're 20 pounds overweight, put average. "Average" in today's world is pretty

subjective, and girls abuse it to no end.

If you actually are jacked, and have the pictures to show it, I would recommend

downplaying it a bit and just putting that you're athletic. There is enough conscious

hatred from girls on guys with ab pictures, so try to show a bit of modesty with this.

Show, don’t tell.

DIET

Options:▪ Anything

▪ Vegetarian

▪ Vegas

▪ Kosher

▪ Halal

▪ Other

Tell the truth in regards to your diet.

SMOKING

Options:

▪ Yes

▪ Sometimes

▪ When drinking

▪ Trying to quit

▪ No

Disclaimer: I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.

Smoking has a pretty big stigma against it in modern American culture. If you're using

OKCupid in Europe, you can pretty much disregard this advice, simply because so

many more people smoke on that side of the Atlantic. Here in America though, many

girls are absolutely repulsed by a smoker. So even if you occasionally smoke, I


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recommend putting no. If you’re a chain smoker, put that you're trying to quit,

sometimes, or that you do when drinking.

Under no circumstances should you put 'Yes' as your answer because this will

absolutely be a deal breaker for nearly any girl who doesn’t smoke. This is obviously

different if she smokes too, but you can see that on her profile and then bring it up if

appropriate.

DRINKING

Options:

▪ Very often

▪ Often

▪ Socially

▪

Rarely

▪ Desperately

▪ Not at all

Let's start with the easy one - 'Very often'. Don't ever put this, as it makes you look like

a raging alcoholic. Even 'Often' seems kind of harsh. Instead, you're probably better off

putting ‘Socially’ in most circumstances. Nearly everybody drinks socially these days,

and this is your safest bet.

Again, we are trying to eliminate reasons for her not to respond to you, more thananything. You’ll be meeting her for drinks on the first date anyway. So, even if you are a

raging alcoholic, you'll be able to get your fix and pass it off as "social drinking".

If you don't drink, simply put that. Many will respect you for this. The crazy party girls

might not like this, but they probably aren't the girls that you're looking for anyway.

DRUGS

Options:

▪

Never

▪ Sometimes

▪ Often

While the most I've personally never dabbled with in regards to drugs is a bite of a pot

brownie, I think it’s fair to say that in today's culture, marijuana isn't really considered

much of a drug. Many girls put on their profile that they are '420 friendly' but then


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proceed to answer 'never' in the drugs section of their profile. It seems that marijuana

has become so relatively mainstream, that it simply "doesn't count" as a drug.

Therefore, it’s important to keep this in mind when trying to decide how to answer this

question.

If you smoke a blunt once or twice a week, you should go ahead and mark down 'never'

on your profile. Even putting 'sometimes' can easily warp a girl's imagination into

picturing you as a guy who shoots up heroine on a weekly basis. I will keep harping on

this - do not give girls a reason not to message you back.

If you are a person who does drugs often, and are looking for the crazy partying girl

type - by all means, put sometimes or often. That’s likely the only type of girl you’ll

attract, though. There's no arguing that drug dealers get a lot of pussy.

RELIGION

Options:

▪ Agnosticism

▪ Atheism

▪ Christianity

▪ Judism

▪ Catholicism

▪ Islam

▪

Hinduism▪ Buddhism

▪ Other

Option 2:

▪ …and very serious about it

▪ …and somewhat serious about it

▪ …and not too serious about it

▪ … and laughing about it

Fortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it), a lot of religious standards havegone down in America in recent years. The number of good, religious girls waiting until

marriage to have sex has dwindled drastically. I've found increasingly that religious

beliefs simply don't matter all that much these days.

The familial pressure to find a life partner of the same religion is nearly nonexistent

because most people simply aren’t religious. There will always be some girls to whom


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this matters deeply, but most of them don't really care what religion you practice, or

your lack thereof.

Personally, I’ve always left this section blank, and it’s never come up.

SIGN

I will admit that I don't know the first thing about astrology signs. Most men don't. To

some women, it does matter, but usually they're kind of...out there. Mark your true sign

and that it doesn't matter.

EDUCATION

Tell the truth.

INCOME

Options: Broken mostly into $10,000 incremented brackets until $100,000, then it

becomes a larger gap.

Income is something you should exaggerate a bit to swing the odds in your favor. Just

like height though, you want it to be reasonable. I'll use myself as an example. I make

an annual salary of $85,000, plus four weeks’ vacation, and a handful of other benefits. I

also make some money from my blog and book sales, a few hundred dollars a month, but probably less than $5,000 for the year if you add it all up.

On my profile, I have $100,000-$150,000 selected as my pay range. Realistically, this is

roughly a ten percent increase from what I truly make. But, in a girl’s mind, it may

bring up the possibility that I’m at the high end of that bracket. In reality, I'm lucky to

scrape the low end of it, but she won’t know any better (and will imagine the best case

for herself).

Now, if you put that you make $250,000, but you live with roommates and drive a

crappy car, some warning bells are going to go off in her head. But the majority ofwomen are poor at money management themselves; the last thing on their mind is

going to be trying to figure out your precise financial situation. So if you make $50,000,

put $60,000. You can probably get away with $70,000 if you have a nice place to

yourself. If you want a rule of thumb to go by: you can move one income bracket up

from what your true income is. This will vary by location as well; if you make $100,000


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in New York City, you’re borderline poor. If you live in Des Moines, Iowa and make the

same salary, you’re a baller.

It's all about the impression. Once you have her out on a date it should all become a

moot point. Your charm should be enough.

RELATIONSHIP TYPE

Options:

▪ Monogamous

▪ Non-monogamous

In any decent world, a man who wanted a deeper relationship, and eventually a family,

would be able to find a woman worthy of developing this with. In an absolutely perfect world, that man able to bang new girls for variety's sake, while his wife stayed

loyal to him. Men and women have different standards - not double standards. Hell, it

used to be pretty widely accepted that as a wife aged, the husband would find new

pussy on the side, but be discreet about it.

You can never rub a mistress in the face of a woman you’re dating. Discretion is

everything.

As you start developing a harem of girls, you’ll learn that they're open to the idea ofyou seeing other people. They just want to know that they are special, and that you

won’t make them look foolish. Arnold's wife never had an issue with his infidelities

until he knocked up the maid, making her (the wife) look bad.

Therefore, if you clearly state on your profile that you are seeking a non-monogamous

or open relationship, it will make potential girls look bad in the eyes of others. Don't

underestimate how often her friends will have scanned every inch of your profile prior

to her meeting you. After implementing the lessons learned in this book, you will be

able to set up a date for every single day of the week if you wish, but most women are

going to be more selective. They will want their friend’s feedback on the matter, andthis section could be a potential blemish on your resume. All it takes is one friend

calling you a “non-monogamous pig” and your chances of a date are gone.

Your best bet is to mark that you're looking for a monogamous relationship or just leave

it blank.


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RELATIONSHIP STATUS

Options:

▪ Single

▪ Seeing someone

▪ Married

▪ In an open relationship

In “Relationship Type” (note: this is “Relationship Status”) I stated that a girl will

probably tolerate your non-monogamy as long as you keep it on the down low.

Hopefully, if you are using OKCupid, you’re single to begin with. If you’re using it to

cheat, then by all means good luck to you. Again, my recommendation is to always list

that you’re single. If you’re using OKCupid to cheat, hopefully your girlfriend or wife

doesn’t have friends on OKCupid, and hopefully you’re not stupid enough to actually

message them.*

*But if you do, please go down in a pile of flames and send me evidence. I’ll be sure to feature it

on my blog.

If you truly are in an open relationship, you have more options. It seems to me that you

would be better off getting these girls on a date, banging them, and then coming clean

about your relationship. If they choose to walk, so be it – you already got the notch. The

whole point of an open relationship is the variety. You got the variety in the form of a

new pussy to pound, but you’re not actively shopping for a replacement girlfriend.Therefore, let her go. If you keep your cool, she might even come back.

OFFSPRING

Options:

▪ Has a kid

▪ Has kids

▪ Doesn’t have kids

Option 2:▪ Might want kids

▪ Wants kids

▪ Doesn’t want kids

Seeing that I don’t have kids, I’m obviously going to always tell the truth. On a dating

site designed with the target demographic of singles in mind, I’m not going to have that


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held against me. If I had a kid though, I wouldn’t put it past myself to lie about this. For

success, you should make this decision based off of your individual situation and the

type of girls you desire.

Of course, you must keep your target demographic, as well as your own age and sexual

market value, in mind when doing this. If you’re 45 years old, scanning for 35 year old

women – they’re probably not going to care if you have children. If you’re a 33 year old

man looking for 20 year olds - it’ll likely be a deal breaker for them as far as any long

term relationship goes. However, if you’re in the position to chase much younger girls,

you’re probably not on the lookout for a serious relationship.

Use your best judgment and lie about your rugrats if needed.

PETS

Option 1:

▪ Has dogs

▪ Likes dogs

▪ Dislikes dogs

Option 2:

▪ Has cats

▪ Likes cats

▪

Dislikes cats

I will start this section off with a warning – any girl that claims to dislike dogs and likes

cats probably has something seriously wrong with her. If she has numerous photos of

her cat(s) or references to them on her profile, proceed with extreme caution.

Yes, I know its cliché. How can one not love dogs though? Cats are animals for old

ladies who had too rotten of a personality to get a man to commit to them. Therefore,

they acquire the devilish little felines as a poor substitute. I think they like the challenge,

considering that cats rarely listen to any commands.

If you want to keep all your options for quick lays open, you shouldn’t list that you

dislike anything. If a girl has pictures of her cats throughout her profile, then looks at

your details box and sees that you dislike cats, it’s a potential deal breaker in her eyes.

Long-term compatibility is a different animal, but you can figure that out later.


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LANGUAGES

Options: Too many to list

This is your chance to make yourself look like a well-traveled man. The only time you

can get screwed is if she actually speaks the language and tries to converse with you in

it. If she does it online, use Google Translate to look like a genius. Be aware that she will

probably try to speak the language in person, and you’ll look like a fool. I know from

experience.

If the language is obscure or rare enough though, you’ll be able to sneak by. When you

select that you speak a language, you have the option to select your fluency in it. The

options are:

▪

Fluent

▪ Okay

▪ Poorly

In my case, I obviously speak English fluently. I’ve spent the last five years of my life in

a combination of San Diego and Los Angeles, and speak a little Spanish. While I took

two-plus years of it in college, I don’t remember most of it. I could order some tacos off

of a menu, but couldn’t talk myself out of jail if I was stranded in Tijuana. Around here,

everybody “speaks” Spanish; i.e. took it in school and then forgot it. If this comes up, I

throw out that I recently spent time in Barcelona, Spain – and how the “España Spanish” there differs greatly from the “Mexican Spanish” spoken here in Southern California.

I also went to Poland recently and learned how to say “Nostrovia!” which is an often-

mispronounced form of the Russian word used to make toasts. It can also translate to

“good health”. Yes, that’s the only Polish word I speak. Does that stop me from stating

that I speak it poorly on my profile?

Hell no.

If a girl actually speaks Polish, I’d be in trouble, but I could counter by having someactual knowledge of the cities and culture, which most Americans wouldn’t.

Meanwhile, I can impress any American girl with my one word knowledge of the

Polish language.


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SUMMARY

▪ The detail box is very important, because it provides girls a quick FAQ into your life.

▪ If your ethnicity has “flexibility” you should use it to your advantage to appeal to

your desired demographic.

▪ Exaggerate when you can – things such as income, height, and languages.

▪ Keep your lies within reason – the jig is up if you say you’re 6’2” but are only 5’6” in

person.

▪ Frame yourself in the best light possible at all times.

▪

Don’t give her a reason not to message you back.


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THE QUESTIONS

OKCupid has a questions and matching system that rates your compatibility with girls

via their algorithm. These questions range from sexual fantasies, politics, and general

lifestyle information. While these questions won’t make or break you in the majority of

cases, some girls do have specific rules that they won’t respond or go out with a guy

who isn’t at least a certain percentage match with them. From experience, their rule is

about a 70% match requirement.

A lot of times I get asked: how many of these questions should I fill out?

The correct answer is that you should fill out just enough to make it seem like you care,

but not so many that it looks like you have no life beyond filling out OKCupid

questionnaires. You should answer a minimum of fifty questions but I would not

recommend filling out more than about two hundred. For those of you brand-new to

OKCupid, I’ve yet to discover exactly how many questions you can answer. I’ve seen

girls with over three thousand questions answered on their profile.

Again, the number that you answer won’t make or break you, and it’s likely that youyour total questions answered will add up over time. I highly recommend answering

specific questions that you care about - because later on in the book, I’m going to

discuss how to use the way she answers her questions to screen her for sex, personality,

and overall compatibility. You will not be able to see her answers unless you have

answered the questions yourself, so to screen her, you’ll need to have some questions

filled out.

Personally, I don’t care about a girl’s political beliefs, ethics, even her hobbies. I only

care about those if they’re the same as mine, and if they’re not, I’m just hoping they

occupy her enough to not get on my nerves by being needy. I am most concerned withher views on sex and relationships, along with her overall attitude. Therefore, I rarely

bother answering any of the “ethics” or “political” category questions because I don’t

want to give her a reason to disqualify me. I’d recommend steering away from those

questions.

As a man, which are you more interested in hearing her answer to?


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A.) Communism, in concept:

Good

Bad

Same as capitalism

No idea / this questions doesn’t interest me

B.) Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned,

how long will it take before you have sex?

1-2 dates

3-5 dates

6 or more dates

Only after the wedding

I don’t care about her opinion on Question A. Do you believe most women have a good

understanding of communism and capitalism anyway? Even if they do, talking about

that on a date would a raging boner go limp. On the other hand, Question B tells us a

lot about a girl and her sex drive. Therefore, there’s no sense in answering Question A

and potentially giving her a reason to disqualify you (despite her probable lack of

knowledge regarding Communism).

The algorithm used by OKCupid isn’t as simple as answering these questions and

moving on to the next. Once you’ve answered a question, you then have to select theanswers that you’ll “accept” in a match and place an importance on it. Note that even if

a girl selects an answer you won’t accept, it does not block you or stop you from

messaging each other. Rather, it simply has a more drastic effect on your match

percentage, for better or worse.

Using Question B from above, I’ve bolded the answers I would “accept”.

B.) Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned,

how long will it take before you have sex?

1-2 dates

3-5 dates

6 or more dates

Only after the wedding


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I’m not a total player. I don’t mind going out with a girl a few times before we hop into

bed. However, there is no way I’m shelling out money for “6 or more” dates without

getting a return on my investment, so I’ve marked the first two options as answers that

I would accept. Once I do that, I’m prompted to place an important on this question.

The three choices are:

A little

Somewhat

Very

This is something that’s very important to me, so I’d mark it as ‘very’. Therefore, if I

come across a girl who has stated she will only have sex after the wedding and she also

marked it as ‘very’ important, it will skew our match percentage much farther down.

With today’s modern dating, I want nothing to do with that bullshit when sex is soreadily available, so I’ve got nothing to lose by being honest here.

After observing my girl pals interact with men on OKCupid, they don’t usually dig too

deep into the questions on your profile. They’re too busy answering the dozens of

messages they get from guys. Secondly, they love answering the questions themselves.

These questions are “chick crack”, just like the quizzes in Cosmopolitan magazine. Most

of them are too self-centered to be bothered reading the questions of their potential

dates, preferring to just answer hundreds or thousands about themselves, and giving

you plenty of information about themselves.

The OKCupid algorithm provides a better matching experience than anything else out

there on the market. To most people, it’s just another step of creating a profile – but it’s

much more than that. It’s an extremely powerful tool that can be used to artificially

increase matches with the girls you are interested in.


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SUMMARY

▪ OKCupid’s algorithm matches you with girls based off of your answers to a variety

of questions.

▪ Many girls will have a “minimum match percentage” to go out with you, it’s usually

about 70%.

▪ Fill out just enough questions – somewhere between fifty and two hundred.

▪ Answer the questions you care about – Communism or sex?

▪ Placing a higher or lower importance on a question will have a higher impact on

your match percentage.

▪ Girls don’t read your answers often, as they’re too busy answering their own

questions or responding to messages.


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THE SEARCH

Regardless of what anyone tells you, dating (especially online) is nothing but a numbers

game. Over time, your numbers will improve. This means you’ll have to message fewer

girls to get more phone numbers. A lower percentage of girls will flake on their dates

with you. Best of all, you need to go on fewer dates to get laid. In order to improve all of

these variables, you must establish a systematic way of doing things. This way, you can

track your progress, and consciously improve things bit by bit.

Based off the questions you’ve answered, and deemed appropriate, I highlyrecommend using some of OKCupid’s filtering options when deciding which girls to

message. When you are browsing, you can filter by the girls who are the best match for

you. Why would you do this? Because they are more likely to agree with your views on

such as sex and dating, which are the things that you really care about. Generally, the

higher match percentage you are, the more likely it is you can get her onto a date and

into bed quickly.

On top of that, some girls have a minimum match percentage that you have to meet for

them to answer you, or meet up with you in person. Of course, this is a subjective ruleto them that they will break on a moment’s whim, just like their rule of no

kissing/blowing/sex on the first date. Having attractive photographs and a well-written

profile will win over most girls.

When you click “Browse Matches” to search for girls, you will have six options to

specify, and even more if you are an A-List member.

Option #1: How do you swing?

This is where there are only two options for you to select:

Interested in men

Interested in women

Interested in everyone

More orientations…


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The first option is for straight women, the second for girls who like girls, the final for

those who are bisexual, or “bi-curious” (keep in mind it’s a cool thing to be bi-curious in

today’s world). The ‘More orientations…’ option gets into all sorts of gender identity

classifications that are beyond the scope of the book. Simply put, you want to search for

women who like men, and perhaps women that like other women.

If you have a problem with a woman who likes other women, that’s your choice. I

personally have no problem with it. Most of you reading this book probably don’t,

either. Obviously though, you don’t want to discriminate against the good, virginal,

Christian women who do not support gay marriage.

If you want to search for men…well, I don’t know why you bought this book in the first

place.

Option #2: Age

This depends on how old you are and what age you’re looking for. I’m 23 years old,

and I often get along quite well with girls a few years older than me, so I run searches

for ages 18 to 26. I have found that anything older than this won’t usually return my

messages based off of their pre-conceived notions about men my age. I’ve experimented

with running multiple profiles with two separate ages (I can pass for being about five

years older than I actually am), and I go into this in more detail later in the book.

Option #3: Distance

Distance is a search filter that is subjective to your individual living circumstances. If

you live in Manhattan, you’re probably okay setting a 15 mile radius. Any girls that live

in the outer boroughs will likely be willing to make the trip to you if you have a sweet

bachelor pad in Manhattan. However, a 50 mile radius in New York will get you pretty

far out there, with girls who are going to be much, much more difficult to convince to

come meet you. Nor is it worth your time to travel to them, when you have millions of

women in a small square mile radius.

I lived in San Diego for the past five years, and I usually used a radius of 25 miles. SanDiego is a very spread out city, and it was fairly easy to cover 25 miles during off-traffic

hours (i.e. no more than about half an hour). However, I’m living in Los Angeles now.

In this city, it could potentially take you two hours to go fifteen miles via car. Therefore,

I have a maximum distance of ten miles set in my profile. Occasionally I expand the

search area to some further neighborhoods, but I adjust my expectations accordingly.


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Most girls are getting so many messages that the idea of driving an hour to meet you is

not appealing.

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

If you have the unfortunate circumstance of living in a small town where there simply

aren’t a lot of women, you may have no choice but to expand your search radius to 50

or even 100 miles (the maximum is 500). This is up to you. You must set ground rules as

to how far you are willing to drive to meet a girl for a single drink. After all, a first date

is only a feeler. 100 miles is a lot of time and money invested to have a single beer if she

turns out to be a dud.

While I’ve never had to deal with this myself, I think a good rule of thumb is if you live

in a small town, be willing to drive 45 minutes. If she lives two hours away and is

willing to drive an hour, you can make an exception. Every situation is different, but 45minutes is the maximum time I would personally be willing to spend on the road.

Remember, your time is valuable.

How

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