Concept of Courtship

and Marriage

Marriage

the formal union of a man and a woman typically recognized by

law, by which they become husband and wife.

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

― Albert Einstein

Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kindCourtship is a special kind of friendship between two persons of the opposite sex that may lead to love and marriage.

A gift turned over by the groom to the bride’s parents for all practical purpose in exchange for the bride.

A dowry is the transfer of parental property to a daughter as her inheritance at her marriage (i.e. inter vivos) rather than at the owner's death (mortis causa). A dowry establishes a type of conjugal fund, the nature of which may vary widely.

Bigay-kaya- consist of land, gold or dependents. Any valuable article will do in the absence of these.

Panghimuyat- certain amount of the money given to the bride to be’s parents as a payment for the mothers effort s in rearing the girl to the womanhood.

Bigay-suso- bribe given to the wet-nurse who fed the bride during her infancy with milk from her own breasts.

Himaraw- sum of money to be given to the parents as a reimbursement for the amount spent in feeding the girl during her infancy.

Sambon- a dowry given to the girls relatives.

Five kinds of dowry

The moment the man and the woman consummated a deal to be sweet hearts till they decide to tie the knot in marriage, it is understood that there is always a conception of love.

Erich Fromm – “TO LOVE SOMEBODY IS NOT JUST A STRONG FEELING-it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If it were only a feeling, there would be no basis for compromise to love each other forever. A feeling may come and it may go.

Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection as for parent , child or friend

Love is knowing about someone and still wanting to be with him or her more than any other person….

Love is the benevolent affection of GOD for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to GOD

INTIMACY

LOVE

COMMITMENTPASSION

Intimacy Passion Commitment

1. Desiring to promote the welfare of the loved ones2. Experiencing the happiness with the loved ones

3. Holding the loved one with high regard4. Being able to count with the loved one in times of need5. Having mutual understanding with the love one.6. Sharing one’s self and ones possessions with the loved one7. Receiving emotional support from the loved one8. Giving emotional support to the loved one9. Communicating intimately with the loved one.10. Valuing the loved one

Includes the expression of ones need and desire, sexual fulfillment, self esteem, belonging, dominance or submission

Includes the two phases :short term decision- to love the other personLong term- commitment to maintain that love

1.Non-love- absence of all 3 components

2. Liking- intimacy without passion or commitment

3.Infatuation- passion without intimacy or commitment

4. Romantic love- intimacy and passion without commitment

5. Companionate love- commitment and intimacy without passion

6. Fatuous love- passion and commitment without intimacy

7. Empty love-commitment without passion and intimacy

8. Consummate love- combination of intimacy, passion and commitment

1. Ludus- the ludic lover views love as a gameas play, as fun and refuses to become dependent on one person and does not encourage another’s intimacy. Two Essential skill of the ludic lover are to juggle several people at the same time and to manage each other relationship so that no one is seen too often

2. Pragma – this is the love of the pragmatic who is logical and natural. The pragma lover asses his or her partner on the basis of assets and liabilities. Economic security maybe regarded as very important. The pragma lover does not seek interracial, long distance, or age discrepant partner because logic argues againts doing so

3. Eros- opposite of pragma, the erotic lover is consumed by passion and one’s love involvement. Example is the titanic love of Rose and Jack was the eros style. Also it was the most common love style among college students.

4.Mania- The person with manic love feels intense emotional and sexual passion but is out of control. The person is possessive and must have the beloved. Persons who are extremely jealous and controlling type reflect manic lover.

Example . Prosecutor in the O.J. SIMPSON trial implied that Simpson’s love for Nicole Brown was the manic variety.

5. Storge- storge love is calm, soothing, non sexual love devoid of intense passion. Respect, friendship, commitment, and familiarity are characteristics that help to define the relationship. The partner cares deeply about each other but not in a romantic or lustful sense. Their love is also more likely to endure than fleeting romance.

6. Agape love- agape love is selfless and giving, expecting nothing in return. The nurturing caring partners are concerned only about the welfare and growth of each other. The love of parents have for their children is often described as agapeic love