Counseling NaomiJim Newheiser (Http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/blogs/author

/jimnewheiser/) September 25, 2013 (http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/blogs/2013/09/25/counseling-naomi/)

(http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/blogs/?p=5785)

I am greatly blessed to have the privilege of preaching through books of the Bible week after week. Iam continually astonished at how consecutive expository preaching enriches biblical counseling, andhow biblical counseling enriches expository preaching.

I have been counseling a man I will call Rob who has been severely depressed for about two years.Rob says that his church leaders believe that his depression is caused by the fact that he has beenunemployed during most of this time. They believe that the depression will lift when Rob finds a job.

Rob believes that his depression goes much deeper than this. Rob’s depression has sapped hisenergy and drive, so that while he has made some efforts to find work, he hasn’t done as much ashe could. Rob’s wife is concerned that Rob is continually grumpy and often erupts in anger at herand the children. She wants to help him, but doesn’t know how.

During our meetings, Rob has expressed many regrets about the past. He believes that many yearsago he made a huge mistake vocationally which has gotten his life off track. He also is tempted tobe very bitter over how he lost his last job. Rob also said that during this time of depression he hashad a very difficult time focusing and that his thoughts wander.

One of the assignments I gave Rob was to read Putting Your Past in its Place(http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/books/review/putting-your-past-in-its-place) by SteveViars, which addresses both the regrets we may have about bad past choices and the bitterness wemay experience because of what others have done to us. I also gave him my booklet, “Help! MyAnger is out of Control” which lists five things we need to tell ourselves when we are tempted to getsinfully angry.

A few weeks into my counseling with Rob, I started preaching through the book of Ruth. As I studiedNaomi’s bitterness in chapter one, I was astonished at how much she sounds like Rob.

1. They both, like many depressed people, had an overwhelming sense of loss. Naomi lost herhusband and her children, leaving her no visible hope for her future or for the continuance of her

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husband’s family name (Ruth 1:5 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.5)). She said that she was“empty” (Ruth 1:21 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.21)). Rob lost his job and his ability toprovide for his family. He also felt that he had lost his dream to serve the Lord in another vocation.

2. They both, like many depressed people, were tempted to be embittered against the Lord. Naomicorrectly understood that her calamities came from God’s hand (Ruth 1:13b (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.13b)) which she then interpreted to mean that the Almighty was against her,almost as if He was a divine bully (Ruth 1:20-21 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.20-21)).She saw no way out of her predicament of poverty and isolation (Ruth 1:12-13 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.12-13)). Rob also is sound theologically and believes that God is sovereignover all things. Rob believes that the Lord is the ultimate cause of the disasters in his own life. He istempted to think that God is angry with him and has written him off. It has been said that atheists,who believe that they live in a world of chance, don’t have to deal with the philosophical problem ofevil. Those of us who believe in a sovereign God have to cope with the reality that the bad thingswhich happen to us are ultimately from Him.

3. They both, like many depressed people, failed to recognize the manifestations of God’s goodnessto them. Naomi should have rejoiced that God had visited Bethlehem with rain, ending the famine(Ruth 1:6 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.6),22 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.22)). She should have been thankful for a safe journey home from Moab (not to betaken for granted in the days of the Judges – see Judges 19:1ff (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Judges%2019.1ff)). She said that she was “empty,” but Ruth, whom the Lord had miraculouslysaved, was with her, and was committed to taking care of her until death parted them (Ruth1:16-17 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.16-17)). She also was ignoring the fact that theLord cares for widows and has made provision for them in His law (Psalm 68:5ff (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Psalm%2068.5ff); Deuteronomy 24:19-22 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Deuteronomy%2024.19-22)). Rob, too, was blind to the blessings God was still giving him. AsRuth was next to Naomi, Rob’s loving and supportive wife was with him in this trial and in thecounseling sessions, eager to know how she could help him (Genesis 2:18 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Genesis%202.18); Proverbs 31:12 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Proverbs%2031.12)). Hischildren profess faith. He is in an excellent church. God is using him to mentor younger, lessmature, believers. Even though he has been without work for some time, the Lord has continued toprovide for his family’s basic needs.

One of Rob’s assignments was to write down a list of reasons he has to be thankful to God and toreview it and add to it daily. Another assignment was to make a list of the lies he is telling himselfalong with a list of biblical answers. As I read his list (copied below), I realized that he and Naomihad told themselves the same lies and needed the same biblical answers.

Another thing Naomi and Rob shared in common is that though they knew the truth well enough,they had spent too much time (as Lloyd-Jones would say) “listening to themselves rather thantalking to themselves.” Rob needed to focus his mind on what is true right and honorable(Philippians 4:8-9 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Philippians%204.8-9)).

As I continue to study the book of Ruth, I see that there are important truths in the rest of Naomi’sstory which apply to all of us who are tempted to be bitter against God or in despair. The Lordgraciously shows His lovingkindness to His people by redeeming us from trouble, even when oursituation seems humanly hopeless or when the trouble is to some extent of our own making (Ruth4:14-15 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%204.14-15)). God has visited us with a Redeemer Whois the bread of life (Ruth 1:6 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%201.6); Luke 1:68(http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Luke%201.68)). Nothing can separate us from His love.

Rob says that he is doing much better than he has at any time in the past two years. His thoughtsare more focused and biblical. He has worked through his anger about losing his job in the past andhas forgiven those who were responsible. His angry outbursts at home have diminished. He is

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energized in his pursuit of employment and is excited that the Lord may be opening some doors ofopportunity. We are praying that he will find favor in the eyes of one to whom he can bring blessing(Ruth 2:2 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ruth%202.2)).

A final benefit of counseling Rob through his struggles is that I am able to better preach the book ofRuth to the hearts of the Robs and the Naomis in our congregation.

Join the ConversationHow can you apply the truths of Naomi’s live to your life?

“Lies That I Listen to and Scripture’s Response” (Rob)I have messed up God’s plan for my life. God has no control over the direction of my life. Ithwarted God’s plan for my life. I am now living out God’s “plan B” for my life.

I’m thinking more highly about myself than I ought to.1.Ps. 23. Am I smarter than my Shepherd? It is He who leads me into valleys of dark shadows.It is He who tends to my needs in these places. He purposed this for my good. Verse 6 says,“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

2.

Titus 2:14 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Titus%202.14). His purpose for me is not mysuccess but His purposes. “…who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessnessand to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.”

3.

Gen. 45:4-8 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Gen.%2045.4-8); 50:15-21 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Gen%2050.15-21). God worked through causes and second causes of Joseph’sand his brothers’ lives. This was “plan A” for Joseph, his brothers and his father’s household.

4.

Is. 45:9-11 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Is.%2045.9-11); Jer. 18:5-6 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Jer.%2018.5-6). I am the clay. He is in control even when I don’t think so and Heis doing what He has planned all along. I am not where God wants me to be right now. I wasnot where God wanted me to be in the past.

5.

I’m treading on dangerous ground when I question what God is doing in my life. Paulspeaking: You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist hiswill?” But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder,“Why have you made me like this?” (Rom. 9:19-20 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Rom.%209.19-20)). Note that his “purposes” are explicit throughout Romans 9.

6.

1.

No good can come out of this.Gen. 45:1-14 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Gen.%2045.1-14). Joseph revealing himself tohis brothers in Egypt: “…do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves forselling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you…”

1.

Gen. 50:15-21 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Gen.%2050.15-21). Joseph reassuring hisbrothers that God meant it for good though they meant it for evil.

2.

Eph. 1:11 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Eph.%201.11). “In him we have obtained aninheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all thingsaccording to the counsel of his will…”

3.

Ps. 23:6 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ps.%2023.6). Surely goodness and mercy shall followme all the days of my life.

4.

2.

I am of no use any longer for the Lord. I’m no good.God is the Potter and I am the clay. I am to be submissive to His will. Jer. 18:5-6(http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Jer.%2018.5-6); Is. 45:9-11 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Is.%2045.9-11).

1.

God works all things for those whom He loves. Rom. 8:29 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Rom.%208.29).

2.

Ps. 26:3 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ps.%2026.3), 11 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ps%2026.11). As a believer I am to walk in God’s faithfulness and truth and not on myfaithfulness. I am fickle at best. My integrity (i.e. Christ’s integrity) is one that was mercifully

3.

3.

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About the BCC

The BCC exists to strengthen churches, para-church organizations, and educational institutions by promotingexcellence and unity in biblical counseling as a means to accomplish compassionate outreach and effective

discipleship.

given to me.Josh. 21:45 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Josh.%2021.45). Not one of His promises will failfor those who are His.

4.

Ps. 139. I am created good.5.James 1. Every good and perfect gift is from above.6.This is very self-focused.7.

I remain in depression/affliction because of my disobedience.This may be so, and if it is, I am to confess my sins and rest on His gospel promise that I amalready clean. Life in this world will require continuous foot washing. 1 John 1:9(http://biblia.com/bible/niv/1%20John%201.9); John 13:1-20 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/John%2013.1-20).

1.

Not all afflictions are for specific sins. God does send them to try and purify those who areHis. 1 Peter 1:6-7 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/1%20Peter%201.6-7); John 9:1-3(http://biblia.com/bible/niv/John%209.1-3)

2.

Ps 23:6 (http://biblia.com/bible/niv/Ps%2023.6). Surely goodness and mercy shall followme all the days of my life.

3.

4.

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