Costambar Monthly May 2013

May 2013

Yenny’s MarketCatamaran Beach BarBieke’s BarHappy HippoEl CareySyl’s PlaceHarley y RockBuddies BarCostambar Community Center & Library

Supermercado TropicalBig Lee’s Beach BarRestaurant ChinoThe Meeting PlacePuerto Plata Beach Resort

Los CharrosOcean World Marina

Los Tres Cocos

What To Do This MonthUseful Telephone Numbers

Classified AdsCable Channel Listing

Definitely Not the NewsThe Rainy Day PageAnd Lots Of Other

Fun Stuff!!

SNAUGHLINGLaughing so hard

you snort, thenlaugh because

you snorted, thensnort because you

laughed!

MAY 1ST - DOMINICAN LABOUR DAYMAY 5TH - CINCO DE MAYOMAY 12TH - HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY (N. AMER.)MAY 30TH - CORPUS CRISTI DAY

EDENORTE HIRES NEW LINESMEN!It seems financial difficulties have preventedEdenorte from being able to afford ladders orother climbing equipment for their linesmen. Sothey’ve apparently hired family members of theFlying Wallendas to perform necessary linework. It’s all part of day in the D.R. - gettingyour electricity repaired and a high wiredaredevil stunt act all at the same time!

Costambar Monthly page 2

Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to trysomething different. Fine dining at it’s best! Call809-993-4503 for details.

At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you’ll findgreat food at great prices enjoyed with a milliondollar view! Every day they have Power Hour with3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. NOW A WIFI ZONE!!!They also hold a monthly Flea Market on the lastSaturday of every month beginning at 10am. Nocost to vendors!

Restaurant Chino has the best Chinese food onthe North Coast! Eat in or take out. Two locations- on the Malecon in Puerto Plata and callePrincipal in Cabarete. This month they will beopen Tuesday April 2nd & 9th.

The Meeting Place starts their summer hours thismonth. Check their website for news on anyhappenings.

Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon has greatfantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish &Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches.Every Tuesday, Thursday AND Saturday enjoy acuba/santo libre for only RD$50 or Jose Cuervo foronly RD$100 and every Friday is Cheap Beer Day -Grande Presidente RD$90 & Bohemia RD$80!!Great food served all day until 8pm!

Bieke’s Bar - the first bar in & the last bar out ofCostambar! Drop by Saturdays for Costambar’sBest Burger! Check out the blackboards for brunchand evening food specials during the week!

The Happy Hippo & Pedro’s Kitchen offer greatfood & great fun! Start your morning with Hill’snew smoothies, fresh juices & yoghurts! And thenon May 5th starting at 3pm help Hill celebrate herbirthday and enjoy live music with Ali Tupac andhis full band! Pedro has a special menu every day!Eat in or take out!

Puerto Plata Beach Club is the new hangout forexpats & upper class locals! There’s a bar, spa,cafeteria, Italian Pizza & Pasta to go, a mini-

market & liquor store. Plans for this year include acasino, movie theatre, piano bar, live music &more!

Syl’s Place always has a great food & fun!Mondays - dinner & a movie! Tuesdays - darts!Wednesday - closed. Thursday - Quiz! Check theboard for other daily dinner specials! All theirgreat food can be delivered for free in Costambar!They also have satellite radio with some greatoldies stations!

Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant- where you can enjoy the beach your way!! Youcan enjoy great food & drinks inside, in theirgarden or under parasols on the beach. They haveDominican food, burgers, pizza & more. The housespecialty is garlic shrimp and you should tryKevin’s Mama Juana and piña colada’s! They’vegot lots happening! They now offer 2 hours ofHappy Hour from 6-8pm with 2X1 cuba/santolibres! And every Sunday at 2pm is Karaoke withparty maker Segundo! Try their new empanadas!Or treat yourself to Garlic Lobster tails with aglass of wine for only RD$700! Closed from May6th until May 11th. They would love to host yournext event.

Harley y Rock offers real Italian pizza & pastaswith the best prices on the North Coast! Get amedium pepperoni pizza for only RD$225! Orshrimp spaghetti for only RD$250!

Los Charros has authentic Mexican cuisine,popular Tex-Mex choices and local island fare.Now offering a great new wine selection!

Newly opened Buddies Bar has great food, greatmusic and great times. Play billiards every day.Karaoke every Friday night! Daily & weeklyspecials! Check them out!


Every FridayCHEAP BEER DAY!!!

PresidenteRD$90

BohemiaRD$80

Every TuesdayThursday & Saturday

CUBA/SANTA LIBRESRD$50Made with

Brugal Anejo or BlancoJOSE CUERV0

RD$100

SERVING GREAT FOOD ALL DAY UNTIL 8PM

FISH & CHIPS -Half RD$200 - Full RD$300

HAMBURGERS AND FRIES -1/4 lb. RD$150, 1/2 lb. RD$250

HOT DOGS: RD$70 -- SANDWICHES: RD$50-130

On the Malecon in Puerto PlataOpen Everyday by 10am

IN THE CM OFFICES!

(THIS PRINTER IS NOW NAMEDBOB MARLEY BECAUSE IT ISALWAYS JAMMIN’!!)


Restaurant ChinoBest Chinese Food Onthe North Coast! TwoGreat Locations! EatIn or Takeout!Xiang Wan JiaPlaza Neptuno, Malecon, Puerto Plata809-261-5609Calle Principal, Cabarete809-571-0385

A Kansas farm wife called the local phonecompany to report her telephone failed to ringwhen her friends called - and that on the fewoccasions, when it did ring, her dog alwaysmoaned right before the phone rang. The telephonerepairman proceeded to the scene, curious to seethis psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed atelephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialedthe subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring rightaway, but then the dog moaned and the telephonebegan to ring. Climbing down from the pole, thetelephone repairman found:1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system'sground wire with a steel chain and collar.2. The wire connection to the ground rod wasloose.3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalingcurrent when the number was called.4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would startmoaning and then urinate.5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thuscausing the phone to ring.Which demonstrates that some problems CAN befixed by pissing and moaning.Thought you'd like to know.

NOW A WIFI ZONE!!!!!

COME FOR THE GREAT FOOD

AT GREAT PRICES AND

THE MILLION DOLLAR VIEW!

FLEA MARKET!!!EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF THE MONTH Starting at 10am

FREE TO VENDORS!


INTERNATIONAL GOURMETCUISINE

&AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES

809-848-9009

TUESDAYSDarts!

WEDNESDAYSClosed

THURSDAYSQuiz!

CHECK OUR BOARDFOR DAILY SPECIALS!

FREE DELIVERYIN COSTAMBAR!

THE OFFICIAL SHOE OF THE NORTH COAST!

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face,as his wife moved forwards, then backwards,forward, then backwards again ....... back and forth..... back and forth ..... in and out ..... in and out.She could feel the sweat on her forehead andbetween her breasts, and trickling down the smallof her back, she was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ...then she moaned, softly at first, then began togroan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almightyscream and shouted, "OK, OK! I can't park the f*ing car! You do it,you SMUG bastard!

Calle Reyna Isabel #1Costambar

Puerto Plata, Rep. Dom.

ON THE BEACH!809-855-2627

Open 11am-3pm and 6pm-12amClosed Monday

REAL ITALIAN PIZZA AND PASTASREAL ITALIAN PIZZA AND PASTASWITH THE BEST PRICES ONWITH THE BEST PRICES ONTHE NORTH COAST!!THE NORTH COAST!!

MEDIUMPEPPERONI

PIZZARD$225!!!SHRIMP

SPAGHETTIRD$250!!


An elderly lady actually wrote this letter toher bank. The bank manager thought it amusingenough to have it published in The Times and thisnewspaper thanks him most sincerely.Dear Sir,I am writing to thank you for bouncing my chequewith which I endeavoured to pay my plumber lastmonth. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds'must have elapsed between his presenting thecheque and the arrival in my account of the fundsneeded to honour it. I refer, of course, to theautomatic monthly deposit of my Pension, anarrangement, which, I admit, has been in place foronly eight years. You are to be commended forseizing that brief window of opportunity, and alsofor debiting my account £30 by way of penalty forthe inconvenience caused to your bank.My thankfulness springs from the manner inwhich this incident has caused me to rethink myerrant financial ways.I noticed that whereas I personally attend toyour telephone calls and letters, when I try tocontact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,overcharging, re-recorded, faceless entity, whichyour bank has become. From now on, I, like you,choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.My mortgage and loan payments will thereforeand hereafter no longer be automatic, but willarrive at your bank by cheque, addressedpersonally and confidentially to an employee atyour bank whom you must nominate.Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Actfor any other person to open such an envelope.Please find attached an Application ContactStatus, which I require your chosen employee tocomplete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but inorder that I know as much about him or her asyour bank knows about me, there is no alternative.Please note that a Solicitor must countersign allcopies of his or her medical history, and themandatory details of his/her financial situation(income, debts, assets and liabilities' must beaccompanied by documented proof.In due course, I will issue your employee witha PIN number, which he/she must quote indealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorterthan 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on thenumber of button presses required of me to access

my account balance on your phone bank service.As they say, imitation is the sincerest form offlattery.Let me level the playing field even further.When you call me, press buttons as follows:1-- To make an appointment to see me.2-- To query a missing payment.3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case Iam there.4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I amsleeping.5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I amattending to nature.6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I amnot at home.7-- To leave a message on my computer (apassword to access my computer is required. Apassword will be communicated at a later date tothe Authorized Contact.)8-- To return to the main menu and to listen tooptions 1 through 89-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, thecontact will then be put on hold, pending theattention of my automated answering service.While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthywait, uplifting music will play for the duration ofthe call.Regrettably, but again following your example, Imust also levy an establishment fee to cover thesetting up of this new arrangement.May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly lessprosperous, New Year.Your Humble Client


HOW TO MAKE SYMBOLS WITH KEYBOARDAlt + 0153..... ™... trademark symbolAlt + 0169.... ©.... copyright symbolAlt + 0174..... ®....registered trademark symbolAlt + 0176 ...°......degree symbolAlt + 0177 ...±....plus-or -minus signAlt + 0182 ...¶.....paragraph markAlt + 0190 ...¾....fraction, three-fourthsAlt + 0215 ....×.....multiplication signAlt + 0162...¢....the cent signAlt + 0161.....¡..... .upside down exclamation pointAlt + 0191.....¿..... upside down question markAlt + 1.......☺....smiley faceAlt + 2 ......☻.....black smiley faceAlt + 15.....☼.....sunAlt + 12......♀.....female signAlt + 11.....♂......male signAlt + 6.......♠.....spadeAlt + 5.......♣...... ClubAlt + 3.......♥...... HeartAlt + 4.......♦...... DiamondAlt + 13......♪.....eighth noteAlt + 14......♫...... beamed eighth noteAlt + 8721.... ∑.... Nary summation (auto sum)Alt + 251.....√.....square root check markAlt + 8236.....∞..... infinityAlt + 24.......↑..... up arrowAlt + 25......↓...... down arrowAlt + 26.....→.....rght arrowAlt + 27......←.....left arrowAlt + 18.....↕......up/down arrowAlt + 29......↔...left right arrow


WELCOME TOKEVIN & PATRICIA’S EL CAREY

Where you can enjoy the beach your way!

Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto PlataSpanish 809-918-1448 English 809-924-8233

CLOSED MONDAYS

Also available for parties, weddings, etc.

2 HAPPY HOURs EVERY DAY 6-8pm!2X1 Cuba/Santo Libres

EVERY SUNDAY 2pm!KARAOKE with party maker Segundo

GARLIC LOBSTER TAILS WITHGLASS OF WINE ONLY RD$700

Try Kevin’s Mama Juana & Pina Coladas!CLOSED MAY 6th TO MAY 11th

OPEN FROM12 NOON

CLOSED SUNDAYS

SATURDAYSBIEKE BURGERS!!

CHECK OUR BOARDFOR

FOOD SPECIALS!

SCOTTISH COMPASSIONA man on a blanket at the beach.He had no arms and no legs.Three women, from England , Wales , and Scotland,were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The English woman said "Have you ever had ahug?"The man said "No," so she gave him a hug andwalked on.The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had akiss?"The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss andwalked on.The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'huvye ever been screwed, son?"The man broke into a big smile and said, "No".She said, "Aye, well ye wull be when the tidecomes in."

One day, while going to the shop, I passed by aretirement village. On the front lawn were six oldladies, lying naked on the grass. I thought this wasa bit unusual, but continued on my way. On myreturn trip, I passed the same retirement villagewith the same six old ladies lying naked on thelawn. This time my curiosity got the better of meand I went inside to talk to the retirement villageAdministrator, and asked her:"Do you know there are six ladies lying naked onyour front lawn?"“Yes,” she said, "aren't they darlings? They'reretired prostitutes ........they're having a yard sale. "

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, whichprimarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, andPinot Grigio wines, have developed a newhybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.It is expected to reduce the number of tripsolder people have to make to the bathroomduring the night.The new wine will be marketed asPINOT MORE


CLEAR FIBERGLASS7 GALLON

PROPANE CYLINDER TANK24” TALL & 12” DIAMETERTanks & valves are brand new

Made in the USAAlways know how much gas

you get or have left!Lightweight & rustproof!ONLY RD$2500

CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819

CHARTS AVAILABLEGet your

nautical charts of theBahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands,

Providenciales and HispaniolaFrom

Rosa at Luperon Swap MeetWendy’s Bar in Luperon

Ocean World Marina in Cofresi

If you have difficulty callColin at 809-449-1819

BOAT NAME OF THE MONTH!


SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 12SUDOKU PUZZLESFill in the missing numbers so every row, column andquadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

CHOCOLATE

Across1. Perspicacious5. Inactivity6. Idiom7. Voter

Down1. Scam2. Foreword3. Adjure4. Quisling

Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid.The remaining letters spell a hidden message

AMAZEDAMERICAN PIEBACK AT ONEBACK HEREBAG LADYBE WITH YOUBEAUTIFUL DAYBENTBREATHEBROADWAYBYE BYE BYE

CALIFORNICATIONDESERT ROSEFADEDGIRL ON TVHIGHERHOT BOYZI LIKE ITI NEED YOUI TRYI WANNA KNOWI WISH

INCOMPLETEJUMPIN JUMPIN'KRYPTONITELUCKYMARIA MARIAMEET VIRGINIAMINORITYMOST GIRLSMUSICNO MOREOTHERSIDE

PINCH MESAY MY NAMESEPARATEDSHE BANGSSMOOTHSTANSTRONGERTHERE YOU GOTRY AGAINWIFEYWONDERFUL


Police Office 809-320-8510

Police Car 809-320-8840

APC Office 809-970-7877

APC Gate Security 809-970-7015

Codetel 809-220-1111

Edenorte - emergency 809-261-1844

Edenorte - office 809-586-9823

Costambar Taxi Stand 809-970-7318

Canada 809-586-5761

Britain 809-586-4244

U.S.A. 809-586-4204

German 809-586-6995

Italian 809-320-7601

Clinica Bournigal 809-586-2342

Clinica Brugal 809-586-2519

Los Tropicos Pharmacy 809-970-7607

12 CNN 51 CINE CANAL

22 FOX SPORT 56 SPEED

28 BOOMERANG 57 ANIMAL PLANET

30 ABC 64 SCI-FI

31 NBC 66 FOOD

32 CBS 69 DISCOVERY KIDS

33 TBS 70 WEATHER

34 CNBC 71 CINEMAX

35 ESPN-1 72 SHOWTIME

36 WGN 74 STARZ

37 CDN 79 NASA

40 TNT 80 JETIX

42 USA 81 CARTOON

43 ESPN-2 83 TNT LA

44 DISCOVERY 84 HISTORY

46 DISNEY 85 THE FILM ZONE

49 HBO

TEL: 809-970-7194

WANT TOCHANGE

SOMETHINGIN YOUR LIFE?

RAMILIFEPROGRAM -

WAY TOINNER

HAPPINESS &HEALTH

Info: 809-710-1221www.ramilife.com(read the guestbook)


BEGINNER INTERMEDIATE

HIDDEN MESSAGEShow Me the Meaning of Being

Lonely

FINALLY! A VEHICLE THAT WILLHANDLE DOMINICAN POTHOLES!

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes on the train. As the trainrolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in aloud voice:"Hi sweetheart. It's Eric. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I hada long meeting. No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. With the boss. No sweetheart,you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him had hadenough, leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, turn that phone off and come back to bed."Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer.


Massage: Relax, Reduction, Deep Tissue, Facial Massage, Reflexology,Acupressure, & Hot StonePhysical Therapy, Paraffin Treatment & Lymphatic DrainageManicure & Pedicure: Regular & IntensiveBraids & Hair Extensions & Mens HaircutsFacials, Waxing , Peeling, Hydration & Nurse ServicesNatural Health & Beauty ProductsASK ABOUT OUR SPECIALS.Open Mon-Sat from 9:00am / Sundays by appointmentService to the home. Transportation available.#14 Penon St, Costambar Tel: 809-970-7522 Cell: 809-993-2944

RD$1230 Includes DentalRD$1480 with Drugs

Aquacero, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pmBieke’s Bar, Costambar 6:30pm

Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr1-809-885-2155

Free Estimates! Reasonable Prices! All Insurances Accepted! English Spoken!Free Parking D’Jimenez Store! Open Mon-Fri 8am-7pm & Sat 8am-12pm

calle Camino Real #282nd FloorPuerto PlataTel: 809-586-1707Cell: 809-903-6457

Post Graduate, Biomedical Research S.L., Spain

Full Range of Dental ServicesDental Implants * Teeth Whitening * Orthodonitics

Preventative & Cosmetic Dental Services

"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill allcrumpled up?" asked the wife."No," I said.She gave me a sexy little smile,slowly reached intoher cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twentydollar bill."Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpledup?" she asked."No," I said.She gave me another sexy little smile,seductivelyreached into her knickers and pulled out acrumpled fifty dollar bill."Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 30,000dollars all crumpled up?""No," I said, intrigued."Well, go and take a quick look in the garage...


OPEN DAILY (INCLUDING HOLIDAYS)Mon-Sat 8am-10pm Sundays 8am-8pm

Everything you need from snacks to supper!Delivery Service Available!

Calle Principal, Costambar (just inside the gate)809-970-3028

Karaoke TropicalFor Any Event Of Your Choice

With Animation inEnglish, Spanish, German and French

Lyrics in 7 LanguagesInternational Music, Videos and DVDs

809-204-4172Email [email protected]

SOUND RENTAL

PLUMBER OF THE MONTH AWARD!

WE FOUND THE ORIGINAL‘PORCELAIN THRONE’!


CM’S DEFINITELY NOT THE NEWS!Because rumour, gossip, hearsay and anecdotes are just sooo much more fun!

Welcome to a new feature we’re going to test drive! It’s basically going to be tidbits about life here on theNorth Coast. Things that affect us. Things that amuse us. Things that annoy us. None of it is hard corejournalism. It’s what we’ve heard, seen and experienced. Feel free to email us [email protected] with updates, clarifications, corrections or whatever.And keep in mind - we are not claiming that this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! It’sjust a glimpse of what’s happening and sometimes a bit of fun! Don’t take it too seriously!

THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!So as we all know Ayuntamiento Puerto Plata (APP) isnow collecting Costambar’s garbage. And last monthwe all got outrageous bills for this service. Outrageousenough to incite normally tranquilo folks to call forcivil disobedience! No problema, they said. It was allan administrative error, ignore them and the next billswould reflect the correct amounts. Well, the next billis here and not only are they for the same outrageousamounts but come with a letter telling you haven’tpaid the first outrageous amount. The letter alsoproudly brags about the new offices they’ve openedto modernize & improve customer service & billing!Pour yourself a drink folks - this could be a longprocess!There is (being Costambar) varying opinions onwhether this is a good thing or not. The great thingabout this on the other hand is that now garbage iscollected everywhere in Costambar on a set scheduleof Monday & Thursday starting at about 6:30am.

DANCING IN THE DARK!The power has gotten progressively worse on theNorth Coast. Generating stations haven’t been paidand a lot went offline. Edenorte advised that powereverywhere including 24 hour zones would be bad.Can’t be sure about that but gotta say that Costambaris listed as a B rated zone and can suffer as much as12 hours or more off in a day - often in a row!According to the Edenorte site(http://www.edenorte.com.do/atencion-al-cliente/interrupciones-programadas/) our normalweekday outtage should be 11am-5pm. That’soptimistic these days! Weekends are typically two 3hour outtages - one morning & one evening. Again,optimistic. Dominican Today reports that thegovernment has paid about half of the outstandingaccount and that the power situation should improve.We’ll say it one more time - OPTIMISTIC!

KNIT ONE, CABLE ZERO!While we all know that if the power goes off the cablewill go off for a little while until their backup systemskick in. And if the power is off for a lengthy time thecable will likely eventually go off completely. Lately,we are back to those wonderful blue boxes coming upover the screen quite regularly. And, an added feature- about 1 o’clock every day several channels powerdown for anywhere from an hour to all afternoon.And yes, we still lose channels regularly. We are downto one English language movie channel. But the funpart is what the missing channels get replaced with!Honestly, for a while one of the networks wasreplaced with what seemed to be the 24 hour HairClub for Men channel!On the bright side, our cable company can reallyprevent you from becoming a couch potato!

CM FAQWhy don’t you publish in Spanish/other languages aswell?We do get asked this a lot. Our first intention whendoing English only was to avoid something we foundannoying. When you pick up a publication thatincludes several languages and you have to siftthrough a lot of content to find what you want.But also, while I’ve been here a looooong time and myconversational Spanish ain’t too shabby I don’t trustmy written Spanish or that if I entrusted it tosomeone else that I could tell if the actual meaning &gist were captured.And finally, the only place I really enjoy seeingsomething poorly translated is on a Chinese menu -now that’s funny!


VIVERO MAIMONGREEN THUMB

Landscaping and Gardening Maintenance Services

Palms, Flowering and Foliage PlantsBEST PRICES ON THE NORTH COAST!!!

OPENMonday to Friday 8am-5pm

Saturday 8am-noon

George Roesch809-543-8041 Km 11

Carretera PP-ImbertJust past

‘The Fish Places’

A public school teacher was arrested today atJohn F. Kennedy International airport as heattempted to board a flight while in possession ofa ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and acalculator. At a morning press conference, theAttorney General said he believes the man is amember of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.He did not identify the man, who has been chargedby the FBI with carrying weapons of mathinstruction.'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the AttorneyGeneral said. 'They derive solutions by means andextremes, and sometimes go off on tangents insearch of absolute values. They use secret codenames like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as"unknowns" but we have determined that theybelong to a common denominator of the axis ofmedieval with coordinates in every country. Asthe Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "Thereare 3 sides to every triangle."


Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only beplaced by emailing [email protected] calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items.Commercial properties or enterprises (including realestate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds willusually be run for one month only unless we are otherwisenotified.

IGLESIA FILIPOS PRESBITERIANA invites you toservices every Sunday at 10 A.M. Worships are inSpanish. Children activities. Before Costambar GateSecurity, turn on the right side toward the powerplant, 100 meters on the right side.

LIKE CHECKING OUT THE CLASSIFIEDS FOR GREAT DEALS? ORUSING THEM TO GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ITEMS? THENWHY NOT CHECK OUT COSTAMBAR’S FLEA MARKET AT THECATAMARAN BAR ON THE BEACH. EVERY LAST SATURDAY OFTHE MONTH STARTING AT 10AM! FREE TO VENDORS!!

CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALEdinghy caribe 13 feet with latte800$ both are negotiableUS Microwave oven GE, comboconvection and grill oven,stainless steel inside andout,rack for grilling and broiling200$Boat stereo 30$Wet suit 30$Life jacket 10$Snorkels 5$Dog vest 20$Fire extinguisher 10$Power cord 30$50 to 30 adapter 100$Fishing poles (3)80$ eachJoanne 829-319-0572 or e-mail:[email protected]

WANTEDI am looking for 2 bedrooms, 2bathrooms apartment with apool. Long term. Does not haveto be in Costambar.Call 849-785-23 98 afternoonsor evenings.

FOR SALEAssorted packaging materials.Cheap. Call 809-244-4432

FOR SALEHonda ZX 50cc scooter. Newcondition Driven only inCostambar. Asking RD$22,000.(Negotiable) Call 829-397-2772

FOR SALE2002 Izuzu Rodeo Sport, V6,Power windows/lock. NewFront brakes/rotors/calipers.Good tires and drives great.American owned.AskingRD$245,500 Call 829-397-2772

Costambar CommunityCenter & LibraryOpen 9am-5pm

Monday-SaturdayLocated next to

the Farmacia

Separate English &foreign language

book rooms

FOR SALE15 KW diesel generator 4cylinder Kubota diesel engine,1800 RPM brushless generatorhead , Made by Phaser. Thisunit has low hours approx 400hrs. Unit new is 7500.00 in thestates, asking 5000.00 or bestoffer Joanne 829 319-0572

FOR SALEHotpoint full capacity washer.Beige. Works well. RD $6,000.Call 829.259.3413 or [email protected]

FOR SALEMovie projector system formovie screen size RD$12000.Pfaff sewing machine, heavyduty, needs repair RD$5000. 2flat screens RD$1000. PrinterRD$1000. Keyboard RD$500.DVD players, need repairRD$200each. Amplifier, needsrepair RD$200.Radio antennaeRD$50. Yagie satelliteantennae RD$500. Ziar satellitesystem RD2000. Raycor oilfilters RD$200each.Motorcyclehelmets RD$250each. YamahaEnduro outboard motor, lowhours RD$450000. Utilitytrailer, 2002, snmb wgt 497lbs,low miles RD$20000. HondaHero 150 motorcycleRD$35000.Call 809-743-75125 or809-836-8523

FOR SALEHonda CRV 2000 forRD$255,000 Diane & VictorCall 809 261 3795

FOR SALEMyers .5hp water pump, likenew, only used 4 months.Asking RD$5000.Call 809-970-7398

FOR SALE3 Solar panels 1 x 12 volt 65-80watt Broken/repairable (crackedglass) fully functional, 2 x 6 volt 1 Broken/repairable (crackedglass) fully functional 90 USD the Three.Prototype Solar/Wind charge controller, fully functional, 12/24volt 100 amp 90 USD1 Inverter PURE SINEWAVE 24 volt 2000/4000 watt voltageregulator integrated 1 year old 18,000 pesos.1 electric wing mirror for L200, 1500 pesos.2 x Ikea silver LED bedside/ office lamps 30 Usd each.Telephone 809 970 32 87 or 809 639 9393.

FOR SALEYamaha jog black and yellowids,new tires, new battery,special muffler,top shapeasking 18,000 [email protected]


HOUSE FOR RENTLocated Cafemba

Main streetLong term rental3 bdrm/2 bath

Plus officeFurnished

Inverter powerWell water

Pool

[email protected]

829-906-7012

LAND FOR SALEBeautiful lot just a couple of minutesfrom the Star Market in Puerto Plata.750 square metres, quiet road, nice

neighbourhood.Mountain view and harbour views.Spectacular view of the city lights

at night.

FOR SALEBar/restaurant located on the Maleconin front Camacho beach.The bar (which is not a caseta) has a largecovered terrace with view on the ocean.In good condition, all equipped and with wifiContact 809-843-8702 or 809-697-9311

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Donot walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do notwalk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, justpiss off and leave me alone.2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unlessyou aren't getting any.3. No one is listening until you fart..4. Always remember you're unique. Just likeeveryone else.5. Never test the depth of the water with bothfeet.6. If you think nobody cares whether you're aliveor dead, try missing a couple of mortgagepayments.7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk amile in their shoes. That way, when you criticizethem, you're a mile away and you have theirshoes.8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not foryou.9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat anddrink beer all day.10. If you lend someone $20 and never see thatperson again, it was probably well worth it.11. If you tell the truth, you don't have toremember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you arethe windshield.13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ...And most of that comes from bad judgment.15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.16. There are two excellent theories for arguingwith women. Neither one works.17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning muchwhen your lips are moving.18. Experience is something you don't get untiljust after you need it.19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and getslapped on our butt . Then things just keep gettingworse.20. Never, under any circumstances, take asleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

These three old girlsand their dogs weresitting on a park benchhaving a quietconversation when aflasher approachedfrom across the park.The flasher came up tothe ladies, stood right infront of them andopened his trench coat.Gertrude immediatelyhad a stroke.Then Maude also had astroke.But Tillie, being olderand more feeble,couldn't reach that far.


CABINETRY

Doors Cabinets FurnitureMade to Measure

Avenida Penet Muelle #2 Puerto Plata809-586-8881 809-586-3505


“Feel the Breeze - Feel Free”…and SafeCome Be Part of a New Community for Foreign Residents!

Our New OfferStarting at an incredibly low

US$10 per day- Acceptance fee of one month- 3 months prepaid: US$900- maintenance fee of US$60 per month- following months are prepaid by 25th- Club membership US$75 to accesspool, gym & tennis courts- A/C & furniture rental available- internal consumption according toPersonal usage per electric meter- highly secure resort across fromThe beautiful ocean boulevard- overnight guests allowed at aNominal US$10 fee per night- onsite management & maintenance team- penthouse apt. with cathedralceilings US$399

Luxury Ocean View apartmentsfrom US$600-$1350 per month

- furnished or unfurnished- all one & two bedroom suitesinclude TV, small fridge, basicfurniture, fans-invite your friends: US$7 per dayat the pool and US$5 for 2nd adultor child- free WiFi around the pool andoption to have your own personalhigh speed connection in your suite- 55m2 or 99m2

THE NEW HANGOUT FOREXPATS & UPPER CLASS LOCALSOn The Malecon in Puerto Plata

Bar - Spa - Cafeteria

Puerto Plata Beach Club

809-586-4243www.puertoplatabeachclub.comEmail [email protected]

Twitter: @ppbeachclubFacebook: Ptoplabeachclub Apartments

: MiniMarket, liquor store,Italian Pizzeria & Pasta to go

Casino, movie theatre, Italian Restaurant,Breakfast & Lunch packages, weekend romanticPackages around the largest pool in town, PianoBar with pool tables & Live Music performances.

Reservations for 2013-2014 seasonwith 1st month.

Starting at $20 per day(no food or drinks).

Costambar Monthly May 2013

Documents

Transcript of Costambar Monthly May 2013