If you're

powerful,

we apologi%e; CaliforniaTechAssociated Students of the California Institute of Technology

If not,

T. S.

Volume LXV. Pasadena, California, Thursday, June 4, 1964 Number 31

Millikan Library to Tower 80 Stories

Shown above is an artist's conception of how the Millikan Memorial Librarywill look when completed. The four clocks will be carefully adjusted so as toindicate four different times, none of them correct. The lower part of thebuilding is a recent addition to the plans, designed to make the library con­tiguous with Throop.

Architect's Plans Revised;Factor of Ten in Vertical

20

Smog

Te IescopesTil e Roof

•In

Heads AvailableEvery 20th Floor

---0----

Did you really expect a story,too, after all that?

---0---

Very High SpeedElevators to Runon Odd Tuesdays

---0---

Trustees'RoomtoHoldRare Old Librarians

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Glass, Gold and SteelMonster Seen StableIn Random High Wind

SightseeingTo Grace

In Boccaccio, it's franknessIn Rabelais, it's lifeIn a professor, it's funnyBut in The Hot Rivet, it's smutty

Yes, William P., I viii keep pouringdirt into your reagents until you tellme vhat you did mit my poor frosh.

"There probably will not bea class of 1968," wearily statedL. W. Jones, dean of admissionsat a California Tech staff inter:view last Wednesday. "Of the206 freshmen who initially ac­cepted ... about 160 have sincesimply changed their minds.,"

The first indication of thistrend occurred, Jones said, "onMay 1, when 68 prospectivefreshmen announced that theywould not be coming next year."Jones then went on to describehow the "negative responses"tapered off until now "only aboutone or two freshmen drop outdaily."

The reasons for the change ofminds, according to Jones "areridiculous: some are afr;id ofsmog or earthquakes; some be­lieve that college educationshould be coeducational and fearthe sterility of the environmentat Caltech; some want to go toMIT instead; many others haveaccepted top honors at theirrespective state universitieswhich are generally later in thei~admissions procedure."

Caltech's problem, as Jonessummarized the situation, is thatthe Admissions Committee hasgone on vacation, so that thereis no hope of making any newselection this year. "Besides,"he added, "all prospective stu­dents of Caltech caliber havecertainly been snatched up bynow."

Also, the scholarship fund forthese freshmen has been de­pleted. Peter Miller, AssistantDirector of Undergraduate Schol­arships, went on an indefiniteleave of absence beginning May2. "He claimed that he was goingto Europe 'to recruit more fresh­men,' but the Trustees and Isomehow fear that his leave ofabsence may be permanent."

In their meeting of Thursday,May 36, the Trustees discussedseveral proposals for meetingthe current crisis. "The mostpassionate argument," Jones

(Jnmp to Colnmn 1)

Books HousedBasements; PenthouseTo Reach Above

FreSHmen leaveBeffJre Arriving

The Bite brothers, Hermanand Milton, have once againtaken top honors as a debateteam, this time at the RegionalInterpacificmountain DistrictXLIEtaoin Shrdlu Memorial BitchinDebate Tournament, which washeld Furdsday last at FriendlyState University. The Beaverteam beat everyone by colossalmargins, the closest runners-upbeing the Persecutees from Hap­py Valley Home for the Bewil­dered.

In debating the resolution,"Mosquito larvae are more deco­E?ETAO SHRDLU ETAO NUrative than useful," Tech cameup against Happy Valley in thelast round. Herm and Milt dis­played their usual silvern forkedtongues in running oratoricalcircles around their opponents,who tried to distract the judgesby madly waving their armsin complex patterns.

When warned that such be­havior might cause disqualifica­tion, they claimed their gestureswere purely for forensic effect;but their gyrations continuedduring presentations by bothteams. At any rate, the tactics

(Continued on Page 3 •••Or maybe it was Page 4 ••.

I can't remember.)

Bites DownHand·WavingPersecutees

The new Feynman physicscourses for freshmen and sopho­mores have been receiving com­ments for a couple of years now.As noted editorially in last year'sTech, Ph 2c has borne the bruntof much of the criticism, sinceit presents a Feynmanesque in­troduction to quantum mechan­ics. It is generally agreed thatmuch of the course notes are onthe verge of being hopelesslyscrewed up. As a service, then,to its sophomore readers, theTech presents a summary of theideas presented during thirdterm.

State vectors, or columns ofcomplex quantum - mechanicalamplitudes to be in various basestates, which mayor may nothave simple physical meaning­but more likely will be eigen­states for some operator or other(for example, the Hamiltonian;or the parity operator, whichturns some states into them­selves (sometimes with oppositesign) and others just garbles up)- can be tossed around as ifthey actually were real things:they can be added and subtractedand multiplied, either bra times

(ContiIl'ued on Page (I)

New PhysicsBard WithSophomoreQ Mechanics

U~ndabanana

(UlO'noq aqlle 'aAoqe 'lUOO)-2ns s,){~:mqual+UH paounouap AI-lUalolA pUB "UOlSSBd JO lEaq aqluI" aso.m 2UOoIlS lBql PIBS sauor'2unaaw aql ul lUIOd sIql lV

,;SAOq aqlWOoIJ uaw aql alBoIBdas 0l pualPIUOM. n 'alBoI AUB lV 'AnuJadoq-wnlnopoIno am aZHBoIaqn n,l!"'·SI.Il2 JO Alalos lSIsUOO 8961 JOSSBlo aql aABq 0l palUBM. 'puBqoIaqlo aql uo '){oBquannH 'oIQ

,,'a2BluBApBamos 0l oI waqo ul SUM.OU){UUpnos oIIaql uo sWoIal aoIOW M.aJ Basn Plnoo Aaql OSIB :1 uBwuAa..!!JO SUloIal aaoIql oIaqlouB Aq lya-uaq PluOO uawqsaoIJ aql JO lSOW- n lB ){OBJO oIaqNuB" L961 JOSSBlo aql 2UIAI2 SJOABJ '2un aawsaalsnoIL aql palUnooaoI sauorSB '2UOoIlS ,;qof sIq asoI InM.aq lBql PIBoIJB s,aq - 2UOoIlSuBaQ Aq uaAI2 lBql SBIA" 'palBls

(t uUlnloo UlO.IJ panunuoO)

GREEN ABOUT THE EARSFertile imaginations will observe

immediately that the color of thisnewspaper is suggestive of spring,youth, growing things, and money.With regard to the former: as apublic service, the Editors announcethat we enti rely sanction the use ofthis issue for wrapping tulip bulbs,fish heads, and other delectables.Planting it in the ground andwatering thoroughly will result in alarge growth, mostly olfactory. On ,the other hand, money is alwaysnice.

(ContiIfued from page 2)that he was perfectlY willing toreinterpret The Playboy Philo­sophy in light of all new scienti­fic advances. "Show me a theo­ry," he declared, "and I'll showyou how to derive it from ThePlayboy Philosophy."

Notices

SPERM WANTEDMiss Raymona Owen in the Biol­

ogy Department requests that any­one wishing to donate sperm to thecause of science should see her in421 Kerckhoff between 9 p.m. and5 a.m.

CMFWY SHRDLshrdl cmfwy shrd cmfw shrdl cmfccmfwy shrdl cmwfy shrdl cmfwy hcmfwy shrdl cmfw shrdlu cmfwy mshrdl cmf r1dhsyw mwshrdl cmfwycmfw syhrd cmfw shrdl cmfw shrd

,;8961 JO SSBIO B aABqlOU ArqBqOoId InM. qoanB;) lBql2UJABS SB poIooaoI uo O.?l 11.1 luq'UI qp0M.-SlJq-oM.l AW la2 Ol arqBl,USBM. I" :sauof papnIouO',) 'uon-;m anuyap AUB a){Bl 0l pauno-ap saalsuoIL aql 'SlUIOdM.aIAluaplssIP asam JO M.aIA UI,;uawqsaoI..!! JO uBaQ SB aJIM. sIqAq paoBIdaoI aq 0l aABq PInoM.aq lBql UBaw PInoM. AonodsIql lBql lq2noql AIluaoIBddB"'sauor palBls "'2UOoIlS,, 'uoJlsa2

(filS 'pannnuoo)

Editorials

illGI~BlGEditor's note: They say Helen of Troy was faster than

Lindbergh. How% that? She made Paris in two hours.It is hard to find someone or somebody to chop up every

week. This week, for example, we searched high and low fora suitable target. After discarding the Kennedy ticket boon­doggle; throwing out an attack on Edwrd Orrell Stoned fordesigning a ridiculous monstrosity; and even overlooking theperson who was suckered into paying for it (purple as thoughit may become), we had to turn to something more concrete.The question is: Should Officer Newton be allowed to endan­ger life and limb by hotrodding through campus on his fig­mobile? We say no. Anybody who disagrees can take OfficerNewton and shove him. You can receive the consequences.:So there. Hmmfff. Are you for us or against us?

-Big DaddyLittle Brother

GERMANJAPANESE

Ecod!

Our motto:Illtls Hendrixspon's

fault/I

A.T. Wireless, head of RadioFree Pasadena, announced thatunless his tax-free organizationcan raise $1 million he cannotkeep his station broadcasting.Caltech, being its main source

(Continued on page 5)

SPANISHITALIAN

DinnerLunch

FRENCHRUSSIAN

Breakfast

Il()T l?IV~T

THE BERLITZ SCHOOL OF LANGUAGESPASADENA, 170 SOUTH LAKE AVE., SYcamore 5-5888

PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONSMALL CLASSES STARTING NOW

Native Teacllers Day or Evening Free Trial Lessons

Published only once a year by the idiots of the California Vetch staff touphold the great literary traditions of Etaoin Shrdlu, Emily Post and Totem.

Editors-in-GriefCarrie Nation, Hugh Hefner

Man,a,ging EditorBenjamin Franklin

News StaffThe usual gang of escapees from Devil's Island

Feature StaffCensored, Editor

Dr. Jeckel, TheatreThe rejects from Devil's Island

Sports StaffHa'iry Mousefeet, Editor

Escapees from the athletic department

Business StaffJesus Christ, Overseer

Circulation: Passenger PidgeonAny similarity to any person, living or dead, without satiric purpose is

entirely coincidental.

California Tech,. 1201 East California Blvd., Pasadena, California 91109.Member of The Associated Collegiate PressRepresented nationally by National Advertising Service, Inc.Second Class postage paid at Pasadena, CaliforniaPrinted by Bickley Printing Co.Subscriptions: $1.50 per term, $4.00 per year. Write: Circulation Manager.

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The Y M non CI A's ReligiousChemphysics Com m iss ionbrought a voo-doo witch doctorto campus last Tuesday: theRight Honorable Reverend Mon­signor Pastor Father Rabbi Swa­mi Dr. Shazam Vendabanana(Tribal law says that he whoreads or pronounces the nameof Vendabanana will lose hisseventh-born son to the god ofFermi particles) .. He addressed acapacity crowd of thirteen inWinnett Head 1. The CaltechChristian Fulloshucks Group wasoccupying Clubrooms 1, 2, 3, 4,and 5 in protest against the Y'sprogram., The Y's ever-ready de­monstrators were mar chi n garound Winnett in protestagainst the protest and just forthe hell of it.There is Just One Thing

Vendabanana, proud possessorof a Th.D. in Physics from theLesser Institute of Technologyout E:ast, began his talk with ademonstration of an ancienttribal sacrificial rite which in­volved swirling the chairman tillhe said, "I believe." Unfortun­ately he drowned first. The ac­companying chant was truly themost inspiring part: dee ee ai,dee ee ai; ee ai ar, ee ai ar; wars,wars; ee ai ar, ee ai ar.That Men Thirst For:

Vendabanana then proceededto explain the basic tenants ofhis religion. "First and most im­portant, I am God. Our 'bible'is The Playboy Philosophy." Headded that their "bible" used tobe The Book of Norman, writtenby Norman Schmock, first gen­eral under William the Con­queror, but this was disprovedto be a heresy. The original copyof The Playboy Philosophy wasdiscovered in the shack of a new­ly-eaten missionary and wastranslated by Vendabanana him-

self, with the help of magic con­tact lenses. Therefore, it mustbe holy. The missionary wasmade a saint.Peanut Butter

He then proceeded to deriveall of quantum mechanics fromThe Playboy Philosophy, adding

(Cotinued on page 1)

welcome to the

CampusBarber Shop

in Winnett Center

all haircuts $1.75

Three Barbers to Serve You

8 to 5 :30 Monday - FridayPaul A. Harmon

furlong? Hint: Dimensional anal­ysis will probably not help. SoT.S. to all of you who were hop­ing to get by on that alone. (Note:This problem is closed book.)

2. (5 points) Generalize thesolution of the Schroedingerequation for the hydrogen atomto the plutonium atom. (Note:Anyone who can solve this prob­lem will receive a Nobel Prize.)

3. (5 points) Make up a prob­lem about quantum mechanicsand solve it. (Note: If the prob­lem is easy enough for you tosolve you will get zero points.Conversely, if you can not solveit completely you will get zeropoints.)Dammit Stu Think of a Sub Head

4. (5 points) Given that oneplus one equals two, derive thegeneral theory of relativity.(Note: This problem is not aseasy as it looks, so beware.)

5. (5 points) The problem weintended to put here turned outto be impossible, but work itanyway. (Note: 'There is no noteassociated with this problem.)

6. (-13 points) Complete in25 words or less: "I think quan­tum mechanics is a fake be­cause ..." (Note: Don't answerthis if you expect to pass.)

7. (57 points) Prove that phys­ics bites. (Note: Simply sayingit is intuitively obvious is notenough.,)

Final To Give Gas

Fanny Discovers New Engines

(Continued from page 3)took the first turn. His machinewas placed on the floor whileshe inspected the prodigioussize of the lever arm of the ec·centric which ran to the quan­tum mechanical spin inverter.

After an hour of enjoyment,it was finally my turn. My sparkcame to me bearing his wonder­ful engine. I received him mostwelcomely explaining that I hadnever seen a piece of apparatuslike his. He explained that hediscovered it during a physicslecture.Machine Rule World

I found that one of the bestways of getting picked up wasby hitchhiking. While travelingfrom London to Liverpool on myresearch, I was picked up by acharming young fellow Who tomy great astonishment andpleasure was a mechanical en­gineer from Caltech. He imme­diately had to show me his ma­chine which he had resting inthe back seat. The purpose ofthis particular machine he ex­plained was to revise the non­symmetrical strong interactionsof mutual attracting bodies. Thedemonstration, dear madam, Iwill not bore you with as thestory was like many others Ihave described.

In Manchester I stumbledonto Charles. We found by com­bining our efforts and machine,we could control a vital processwhich I am not at liberty to dis­close as yet.

I shall see you soon, and inthe mean time think candidlyof me and believe me ever,

MADAMYours etc., etc., etc.

-Paid AdertisementSecret agent 0069, our man in

Bridge, has obtained a copy ofthe Ph 2c final which will begiven next week. We print ithere for your entertainment.(Remembering any of it will beconsidered a violation of theHonor System.)

1 hour. Open book unless oth­erwise noted.

1. (5 points) How many poundsper rod-millibar are there in one

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B & G employees relaxing during their brief four­hour early lunch break on the reflecting pool,located behind B & G's luxurious offices.

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ends Tuesday

TheatreSTUDENT

"EXCELLENTI";:::~..:: -Brendan Gill, The New Yorker

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one guy... fe .. i~;;;;... ~ ~ ~~~ ITOM COURTENAY IAS

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A TECH

Underground subway reaching from the air-con­ditioned B & G headquarters to the student gameroom. The subway, ideal for coffee breaks, costover $6.9 million dollars and took B & G 17 yearsto build.

NumerousEmployee Benefits

rhlebolb!

our motto:

B&GOffers Yon:Training

Newly hired B & G employee gets on the jobtraining at the B & G electrical cart driving schoollocated in Oahu, Honolulu.

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Sex Marked(Continued from page 4)

last I knew I was a born me­chanical engineer."

Then LUi took the floor togive her story. "My long lostfather was a mechanical en­gineer. However, my mother,not understanding, sheltered mefrom the knowledge of machines.Then one day a boarder cameto live at our house. He had withhim a model of a machine thathe was building at the localfoundry. I stood aghast at theprodigious size of his model. Hesaid, 'When my machine is fullyerected in the town squareeveryone will marvel at its greatusefulness; Then I knew mylife's work would be in mechan­ical engineering."

Later that evening three maleME grad students stopped by atMadam Bovary's to discuss theirmachines. It was soon agreedthat we would each take thecenter arena to demonstrate ourmachines. LUi and her spark

(Continued on page 2)

Number 5luetaoincmfwypetaoincmf

12ndurybroshrdt shr CALIF·0M585419 WI··:·George H. Kemmi

day morning at 11a.m. shrdluetaoish

WHERE AND HW TO USE IT.

Hal Mustardgas, director ofathletics, has announced that,because of the tuition raise,money has been found to ini­tiate a full scale recruiting pro­gram for the football team start­ing next year. "We damn neargot the whole $225," he chortledgaily as he explained the newset-up to the Tech.Men fall in love

"You see! Those mollycoddlesthat tour the country now look­ing for super snakes are goingto be supplemented by membersof the athletic department."Asked what part of the countryhe would travel to looking forrecruits, Hal flashed a smile andsaid, "Me and the missus alwayswanted to see Hawaii, and I heartell that some good football play­ers come from there."

Lea K. EdOutrage explainedthe reason for the new program,which came at his insistence."For as long as I can remem­ber," he burbled, "I wanted tobe the president of a college witha winning football team. Be­sides, this means I won't haveto go to any more damn WGTUmeetings on Friday and Satur­day night." Mrs. EdOutrage washeard to mumble "He's been atthe bottle again, I just know it.Its the devil's potion."But women

J. K. Bark, chairman of thereinstatement-or-not committee,feels that the new policy willnot create any problems forthem: "Not if the faculty followthe instructions we have handedout." The athletes will be recipi­ents of new scholarship funds;the athletic department willhandle the details."

Dean of Students, Eatit, wasdelighted. "It'll be great! Great!We'll be able to melt CaliforniaStreet from end to end." Askedif the move would require anynew personnel, Eatit said, "Weare talking with Darrel Royalof the University of Texas."Control the process

Also he said that the prin­cipal of a local high school wasbeing considered to assist theDeans if the students did getout of hand. Asked to comment,the principal exclaimed, "I'll fixthose stupid punks, I will, Iwill."

Egad!

One: So Marge is going to marry herEngineer?

Two: Yeah, she had a weak momentand let him torque her into it.

Gym RecruitsFootballers

Page Forty-One CALIFORNIA TECH Thursday, June 4, 1964

990 4

Yes, Ninotchka, that one was the Spanish Fly!

this year for scholarships, fellowships, grants andmaterials for schools and colleges.

Our scholarships and fellowships have no stringsattached. We do not select the recipients, nor do weexpect them to come to work in our Company.

It's simply a way of putting an arm around theshoulders of promising young men and women. Andhelping to answer the plea:"Give us more trained minds toserve the nation."

Joan C--, BS 1956, ME 1960,began the accounts: "When Ifinished high school, I knewnothing about machines or howthey work. I had no idea of thegreat treat I could have in in­vestigating machines. It hap­pened after graduation when astudent from the South HamptonInstitute of Technology caughtme in a room and whipped outa machine he had hidden" I won­dered at its intricate mechan­isms. I marveled at the won­drous product this machine couldmake (it made mouse traps outof used belly button lint). At

(Continued on page 3)

Put an arm around a young man's shoulder

STANDARD OIL COMPANY OF CALIFORNIAPlanning ahead to serve you better

Business and industry are helping

to pay the costs of today's education

If you've sent any sons or daughters to college lately,you are no stranger to the rising costs of education.Tuition rates have increased as much as 300 per centsince 1950.

Are the schools making ends meet? Hardly. At mostcolleges and universities, the tuition you pay coversless than half the cost of your child's education.Someone has to provide the remainder.

America's corporations are contributing in manyways. Standard will provide nearly $1% million

\If the Apex Tool and Die, Ltd.,Charles M-- showed me aroundthe plant. I was especially im­pressed by the number of com­plete cycles the plant can com­plete is one shift-ten.

Control ManagementWith such fond memories of

Charles' magnificent control ofhis machine, I traveled to MadamBovary's Boardinghouse. Here,to my utter amazement, I dis­covered three other female me­chanical engineers. We immedia­tely became engaged in a conver­sation relating our first experi­ences with the mechanism andcontrol of various machines.

~ ~

$8.50 INCLUDES EVERYTHING• Superb Dinner, Show, Danc­

ing, Cover charge, taxes andgratuity.

• Student ID Card required.This price Friday eveningsand Prom nights. Purchasetickets at door.

AMBASSADOR HOTELLOS ANGELES' DUNKIRK 7-7011

Prodigious Machines

"WHAT'SNEW

IN THE JUNEATlANTIC?

"Hemingway as His Own Fable" byAlfred Kazin: A piece of literary criti­cism about Ernest Hemingway as awriter of fabulous autobiography, AMoveable Feast.

"AndrewWyeth": Anappra.isal of theAmerican painter by E. P. Richardson- plus a special color insert of theartist's works, many never beforereproduced.

"Better Lawyers for Our CriminalCourts": Judge Edward Lumbarddiscusses criminal justice and thelawyers who represent those accusedof serious crimes.

PLUS AN ATLANTIC EXTRA: "TheBronze-Age Ship: An Adventure inUnderwater Archeology" by PeterThrockmorton: The exciting story ofthe exploration of a cargo ship sunk3,200 years ago.. The skin-divingauthor and others diSCOV­er objects of immensearcheological importance.

BYF.IDLL(Editors' note:8ince the reports

of the Junior Travel Prize win­ners have received so much en­thusiastic praise the Rivet ispublishing the report of the win­ner of the Mrs. L. A. DiBrassTravel Award for Cultural Pur­suits in Europe. Last year's win­ner was Miss Fanny Hill, ME,BfD. Miss Hill's project whiletouring Europe was "The Investi­gation of the Progress made byMachines and SkiHed Labor inEurope." She addresses her re­port to Madam DiBrass.)

Madam:I sit down to give you an un­

deniable proof of my experienceson my travels. If I could onlyconvey the marvelous, inexhaus­table machines I saw. Being amechanical engineer myself Ihave yet to be accustomed to thenew and various ways one canenjoy one's satisfaction in find­ing new engines and gadgets tofiddle around with.

For example, the first night Ispent in London; the manager

Month in, month outThe Atlantic's editorsseek out exciting ex­pressions of new andprovocative ideas.And whether theseexpressions take theform of prose or po­etry, fact or fiction,they always attain aremarkably high levelof academic valueand literary interest.Make room in yourlife for The Atlantic.Get a copy today.

f. Hill Reports On Mechanical Engineering In England