Continuing Adventures

8/3/2019 Continuing Adventures

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EXT. SPACE

A massive and overly complicated SPACESHIP floats over analien planet. Thousands of lights glitter across itstextured, worn surface. A battle tested warship.

INT. SPACESHIP- HIBERNATION DECK 18

Rows of semi-opaque hibernation pods hang in the antisepticstillness.

A BLARING ALARM breaks the silence. Dull blue lightssequentially CHOOM to life.

The curved glass of a single hibernation pod illuminates withinternal activity.

A decompressing HISS, the glass canopy SLIDES OPEN.

With a waking COUGH and an annoyed GRUNT, space hero ACEBRANDO pulls himself out of the pod. Clad only in a pair ofskin-tight space-underpants, his physique puts the VitruvianMan to shame.

He runs his football sized fist through his spiked black hairand leans against a wall of identical, unlabeled squarebuttons.

He slams a button.

ACE BRANDO

(sleepy, irritated)Computer. Terminate alarm.

The alarm silences.

ACE BRANDOWhy was hibernation interrupted?What’s ship status?

COMPUTER(feminine, but digital)

Stop screwing around, your dad has

to pick up contact solution before work so you have to get a move on.

ACE BRANDO(with haggard annoyance)

Computer, run diagnostic. Resethibernation for fifteen years.

He plods back to his pod and starts to climb in.



Behind him, a door irises open and an enormous HAIRY ALIENenters. It has four legs, four arms, eight feet tall, golddiscs intricately woven into its beard. A space rifle thesize of an oar is strapped to its back.

It crosses the room to Ace in powerful, quick strides.

HAIRY ALIEN(pleading, meek, normalvoice)

Come on seriously get up. You know my glasses give me a headache. Ireally need to get my contactsolution.

CUT TO REALITY:

INT. SUNDAY HOUSEHOLD- J.R.’S ROOM- CONTINUOUS

Ace Brando is really J.R. SUNDAY, ten-year-old boy, sportingSeattle Mariners underoos and spiked black hair. His father,LOUIS SUNDAY, the hairy alien and J.R.’s dad, is in his latethirties, short-sleeved business shirt, messenger bag securedto his back instead of a space rifle.

J.R.Computer, we have a security breachin Hibernation Deck 18.

Louis turns J.R. around by his head and guides him into thebathroom.

LOUISYeah yeah. You can take a spaceshower, admiral.

J.R.(correcting him)

Captain.

J.R. closes the door to the bathroom and the shower starts.

CUT BACK TO

FANTASY:

INT. SPACESHIP- HIBERNATION DECK 18- CONTINUOUS

Louis, now a hairy alien again, stands outside thedecontamination unit.

2.



LOUIS/HAIRY ALIENDon’t screw around, J.R. Justrinse off, we got to get the leadout.

Another ALIEN BURSTS OUT OF HIS CHEST and looks at him.

ALIEN(teenager’s voice,deadpan)

We’re going to be late.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL- HALLWAY- DAY

Kids rush and play in the hallway between classes. In cargoshorts, tennis shoes and a t-shirt, J.R. stuffs his backpack

in his locker and looks up to see his best friend, TREBUCHET,running down the hall.

Short and round, a twelve-year-old Phillip Seymour Hoffman,TREB always wears a relaxed blazer, jeans and loafers withoutsocks.

TREB(excited, out of breath)

Oh my god, J.R., you’re not goingto believe what I found!

J.R.

My Ace Brando Season 3, disk two?

TREBNo, that’s gone forever, I’m reallysorry, but look–

He holds up a printed sheet of PAPER.

TREB(going too fast)

Craiglist, motorcycle,craigslist...

J.R.(dismissive)

We can’t afford a motorcycle.

He turns to leave.

TREB(in a breathy whisper)

Free-

3.



J.R. stops.

J.R.(without turning back)

What did you say?

TREBYou heard me. It’s free.

J.R.’s eyes glaze over.

CUT TO J.R.’SFANTASY:

EXT. MENACING CASTLE- NIGHT

Lightning cracks above a forboding Eastern European castle.

INT. MENACING CASTLE- CONTINUOUS

Treb spits a tooth onto the ground: he’s tied to a chair atthe end of a large dining hall, and has just been punched byKANG YEATS, J.R.’s long-time nemesis.

KANG(mock sincere)

Oh, Trebuchet. We can play thisgame all night. Now, why don’t youend this hassle and tell me wherethe serum is?

TREBSuck eggs, Kang, I’ll never talk.

KANG(angry)

I wouldn’t be so brave, no one cansave you here: this castle isimpenetrable. The windows are FARtoo thin to allow...wait, what’sthat sound?

MOTORCYCLE SOUND, getting closer.KANG

(looking around)Is someone vacuuming? I’m tryingto interrogate here–

KA-CRASH! J.R. comes flying through a window on his superawesome MOTORCYCLE! Sparks fly from where the chassisscrapes against the thin window’s frame.

4.



The soldiers scatter as he flies down the table, jumps thebike off the end, rolls it and scoops Treb safely onto theback.

TREBWhat took you so long?

J.R.Sorry, I was kissing girls.

TREBShoulda guessed.

KANGStop them! Flame arrows!

J.R. wheelies into Kang, sending him flying into the legs ofthe banquet table. It collapses on that end, making a rampto the window.

Flaming arrows embed into the wall behind Treb’s head.

TREBBook it like a library!

J.R.Smells like fun.

He guns the bike up the table, flaming arrows flying pastthem, and shoots out the window.

CUT BACK TO

REALITY:

INT. SCHOOL- CONTINUOUS

Treb and J.R. stare at the printout.

J.R.(almost a whisper)

Oh my god. Treb-

TREB

Yeah, J.R.?J.R.

Dude, this is destiny. I- we. We were destined to have this motorcycle.

TREBWhen destiny sends you a friendrequest you do not ignore.

5.



J.R.If we’re going to make this work, we’ll be out after dark.

TREBThat’s fine, I’ve got my flashlight

helmet and my...

J.R.No, I know– crap. That’s not theproblem. Mom won’t let me go without Chip.

CUT TO:

EXT. SCHOOLYARD- DAY

CHIP, J.R.’s brother, knocks old tennis balls into the

distance with a baseball bat.

Slightly cooler, slightly older, but with an obvious familyresemblance.

JENNI LAKE, a cute tomboy, lounges beside him, fiddling withher iPod. She’s Chip’s age and laid back.

J.R. and Treb come running up with their printout.

J.R.Chip!

CHIPHey girls, what brings you to bigboy recess?

J.R.Whatever, Ichiro...

CHIPWhat do you want?

J.R.Look at this! Some dude is giving

away a motorcycle on Craigslist.CHIP

(doubtful)Gimme that.

(he reads it)This is obviously bogus, besides:it says it’s on other side of TheRambles; mom and dad would pitch afit.

6.



J.R.Come on, Chip. They won’t let mego by myself.

CHIPAce Brando’s on tonight.

J.R.It’s tivoed.

CHIPThe commercials build the suspense.

J.R., exhausted, doesn’t know how to respond.

JENNI(casually)

I like motorcycles.

Chip turns and looks at Jenni, his eyes squint in thought.

CUT TO CHIP’SFANTASY:

EXT. DESERT ROAD- HIGH NOON

A lone rider cuts through the abusive heat on a well- maintained piece of American steel-horse.

A WOMAN, standing next to a vintage ford, its hood proppedopen and engine steaming, flags him down.

The woman is Jenni. Radiant in a red sundress and a widebrimmed hat.

JENNIExcuse me, sir? I think the motivator is leaking.

Chip tips his sunglasses and checks her out. He’s still 13,but he has a rad five o’clock shadow and looks grizzled.

CHIP

Sounds like you need a lift.JENNI

Which way you heading?

Chips leans on his handlebars and shrugs.

CHIPI’m not.

7.



JENNICan I-

Chip tosses her some goggles.

CHIP

Let’s ride.

She climbs onto the bike, but in front, facing him, and wrapsher arms around his neck.

JENNIYour shoulders sure are strong.

CHIPI win a lot of fights.

They tear off into the distance.

CUT BACK TOREALITY:

EXT. SCHOOLYARD- CONINTUOUS

Chip looks at J.R. and Treb.

CHIPFine, we can go, but you guys haveto remember that I’m in charge. Gotit?

J.R.(rolling his eyes)

Fine.

CUT TO:

INT. RHONDA’S REALTY- DAY

A failed attempt at classy realtor’s office, with bambooshoots and crappy art.

KAREN, Chip and J.R.’s attractive, late-30’s mom, boils waterin the break room while on her cellphone.

A condescending voice from off screen causes her to tense.

RHONDA (O.S.)I’ll have green tea.

8.



KAREN(fake sweetness)

It’s coming, Rhonda.(into the phone)

Anyway, how about Bimbaway? Theycall it “paradise island.” That

sounds good.

INT. AMPERSAND OMNISCIENCE TECHNOLOGIES- CONTINUOUS

Louis is pinned to the ground by a web of cables in a tightcorridor of clicking computer servers, speaking on abluetooth as he works.

LOUISHoney, Greg stopped by my workdometoday. They’re cutting IT’s healthinsurance.

KAREN (ON PHONE)What?

LOUISI know, I’m sorry.

(chipper)But now we don’t have to plan thatstupid vacation, right?

INT. RHONDA’S REALTY- CONTINUOUS

Karen glances up at a motivational poster of a woman relaxingin a hammock. In bold font it says “PARADISE: get back to work”.

KARENNo! NO. What are you on about,Louis? We need our holiday...

LOUIS (ON PHONE)Karen, don’t get mad.

KAREN

I’m not bloody mad!LOUIS (ON PHONE)

You get British when you’re mad,sweetheart. We need to use thevacation funds to insure the boys.

KARENWe don’t NEED to insure them, do we? They’re boys! They bounce back!

9.



LOUIS (ON PHONE)Honey. Chip and J.R.?

It sinks in:

BEGIN FLASHBACK MONTAGE

EMPTY POOL: J.R. drops in wearing a Batman costume. Insteadof hearing the crack of his broken bone, a cash register KA-CHING rings loudly.

BACKYARD: Chip karate chops three bricks. They don’t break,but his hand does. He turns to catch a flaming arrow shot byJ.R. It goes through his hand. KA-CHING, KA-CHING.

RODEO: A rugged, tough as dirt COWBOY gets advice beforejumping on the meanest bull God’s got.

COWBOY ASSISTANT

You can’t do this. Riding Ol’Bullet Train is suicide.

COWBOYI know. If I don’t make it, youtell Reilly his money’s buried bythe bridge in Fremont. He knows where it is. And you tell him-

TREB (O.S.)NOW!

J.R. APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND LEAPS ONTO THE BULL, KNOCKING

THE COWBOY OFF. Ol’ Bullet Train TEARS OUT INTO THE ARENA.

We don’t get to see J.R.’s ride, but we do hear the audienceOOHHHHHH and EEWWWWWWWW and countless KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHING.

END MONTAGE

Karen stares blankly at the boiling water. She rips open atea bag and throws it in.

LOUIS (ON PHONE)

Karen? Karen, they get hurt allthe time. Karen? Do you rememberthe bull riding thing?

Rhonda now YELLS from off screen, impatient andcondescending.

10.



RHONDA (yelling)

Where’s my green tea?

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS- DAY

The Rambles are an average Pacific Northwest forest, pretty,but nothing special. However, to the kids, it is:

EXT. THE RAMBLES- DAY

Dense foliage and Jurassic ferns extinguish any daylight inthis mist shrouded jungular abomination. Entering would besuicide. CICADAS’ BUZZ fills the air.

J.R. skids to a stop, slinging Treb in a RICKSHAW behind him.Chip and Jenni casually pull up.

J.R. leaps off his bike and steps up to The Rambles’ edge.

J.R.Alright, people, let’s get moving.We’re burning daylight here. Timeis money. Clap clap.

He clap, claps.

Chip and Jenni put down their kickstands.

CHIPWe can’t ride our bikes throughthis.

J.R.Where we’re going, they don’t needbikes.

CHIP(not paying attention tohim)

Okay, but we rode them here, wecan’t just leave them in the open.

J.R.I know! We can just throw them behind these brambles!

He lifts his bike and throws it up and over a wall of thornyvines. It disappears from sight.

11.



J.R.You’d have to be crazy to gothrough that to get a stupid oldbike!

He turns to the others, grinning with pride at his idea. His

smile drops when he sees that they’re locking their bikes toa rack about ten feet away.

CHIPCome on, J.R., lock up your bike.Dad’ll be mad if it’s stolen.

J.R.’s shoulders drop. He climbs into the brambles, CURSINGand MUMBLING.

CHIPOkay Treb, what’s the plan?

Treb refers to some weathered, yellow paper he’s bound with atiny strip of leather.

TREBAccording to these g-mapdirections, we can make the besttime if we head south/southwesteighty degrees bilateral.

J.R. has disappeared into the brambles, which shake with hisstruggles, his YELPS audible in the background.

CHIP

So, in the woods, right?

TREBExactly.

J.R. (O.S.)Found it! Hey, there’s a bunch ofbikes back here!

CUT TO:

INT. RHONDA’S REALTY- DAYKaren knocks on Rhonda’s office door. Others in the officelook away, fending for themselves.

RHONDA (syrupy mean)

Come in!

Karen enters, the door closes behind her of its own volition.

12.



Rhonda’s lair/office is pristine, awash in pastels of purpleand teal. The only art behind her is a commissioned oilpainting of Rhonda, wearing the same purple jacket she’scurrently in, shaking hands with Obama in front of the WhiteHouse, which she has apparently just sold to him.

Rhonda eats a steamed artichoke; dips the petals in mayonnaise before stripping them with her teeth.

Not completely unlike the devil, she is stunningly beautifuland casually evil.

RHONDA Karen, did I...call for you?

KAREN(not intimidated)

Hi Rhonda, no, I needed to ask yousomething.

RHONDA Why do my employees always NEEDsomething from me?

KARENWhen you fired the HR departmentyou told us to come to you if-

RHONDA Do as I do, not as I said.

Pause.

KARENOkay, look, Rhonda, I’ve been herefor three years. I’m a top earner,loyal, never been late: I’m a modelemployee.

RHONDA I was a model.

KARENRight, fine, my husband’s health

insurance was just cut, and I was wondering if I could get mineexpanded.

Rhonda sighs and slowly sucks the mayo off of an artichokepetal.

RHONDA Karen. Rhonda’s Realty isn’t justan office. It’s a bridge.

13.



KARENIt’s a company.

RHONDA A bridge of trust. And when youask for expanded health insurance,

you make the bridge shake. Now let me ask you this; would you want to work on a shaking bridge?

KARENUh...no?

RHONDA You would have to have suction cupfeet!

KARENWhich expanded health insurance

would pay for.

RHONDA No, all the paperwork would have tobe suction cupped, as would thepencils, an octopus office, underthe sea...

KARENRhonda-

RHONDA ...all the salt water...

KARENRhonda-

RHONDA It’s not going to happen.

Karen stands there, glaring at her.

RHONDA Do you want some artichoke and mayonnaise? The ‘choke is cold but

the mayo’s still warm.CUT TO:

EXT. THE RAMBLES- LATER

Treb leads them out of the underbrush and into a clearing, a murky pond stands in their path.

14.



J.R. stops and stares at the pond, then turns around.

J.R.Oh well. Guess we’ll have to gohome.

CHIPNo we don’t, this is like five feetdeep. Kiddie pool.

J.R.DON’T SAY KIDDIE POOL, CHIP!

JENNIWhat’s wrong with him?

J.R.Nothing!

CHIPHe was attacked by crows in akiddie pool when he was little...

Chip strips off his shirt and holds it over his head in aball.

CHIP (CONT’D)...so now he’s afraid of water.

He wades into the pond.

JENNI

Why water and not crows?

J.R.You don’t know what’s in that water: there could be snakes orleeches or something!

CHIPCome on.

Treb and Jenni jump in, laughing splashing.

Chip climbs out on the other side, wet but totally unharmed,Jenni and Treb climb out behind him. Seems to be safe.

CHIPIt’s fine. Don’t be a baby,junior.

J.R.(sotto)

Ace Brando could do it...

15.



J.R. reluctantly climbs into the water and submerges out ofsight.

They look at the pond, a tense, still beat.

CHIP

(nervous)J.R.? Stop screwing around...

J.R. leaps out of the water, SCREAMING high heaven. His bareskin is covered in grapefruit-sized LEECHES, SNAKES ARECOILED AROUND HIS ARMS AND NECK. The other kids back away,also screaming.

J.R.GET THEM OFF! AAAAAAAAAH!

A crapload of CROWS SWARM out of the trees and ATTACK theleeches, covering J.R.

He flails and falls BACK INTO THE WATER. The crows disperse.

For a second, the surface stills. J.R. emerges from thepond. He trudges past the others, sulking.

J.R.(angry)

Alright, show’s over.

CHIP(upbeat)

Okay, Treb. Where to next?

TREBIt’s right through here. Come on, we just have to get to the traintracks.

CHIPI better look at the map. Treb?

Treb exchanges a guilty look with J.R. Chip sees this.

CHIP

The map, Treb.Chip rips the map from Treb’s hand.

CHIPThis is just a bunch of drawings ofBatman. Where’s the map?

16.



TREBSee, here’s a bit of comedy you might enjoy: turns out G-mapsdoesn’t really cover places in the woods. Did you know that? Ididn’t.

J.R.Chip, he knows where it is. We’reburning daylight here.

CHIPWhoa whoa. There’s no map? You’vebeen fake leading through TheRambles?

TREBI wasn’t fake leading you, I wastruthfully leading you with a fake

map.

CHIP(yelling)

Why would you do that!

TREBBecause I knew you’d react likethis!

CHIPKids get lost out here all thetime, that’s why they burn it down

every year. To look for theirbones!

J.R.Treb always knows where he’s going.He’s like a seagull.

CHIPTreb is not like a seagull.

Chip puts on his shirt.

CHIPThat’s it. We’re going home.

J.R.No way! We’re so close.

CHIPWe’re not getting lost out here.If that happens, I get in trouble.

17.

(MORE)



You don’t get yelled at foranything.

J.R.We know where it is. You’re beingstupid.

CHIPStupid is aimlessly wonderingaround The Rambles. We’re going.

J.R.No.

CHIPIf you don’t come home with me, youreally will get in trouble.

Chip shoves the Batman drawings into J.R.’s chest, maybe a

little too forcefully. J.R. stumbles back. He rips up thedrawings and throws them at Chip. They flutters harmlesslyto the ground.

J.R.(angry)

Go home and tell mom and dad youleft me in The Rambles without a map, we’ll see who gets it.

J.R. storms off into the woods.

Treb sheepishly shrugs at Jenni and Chip then follows after

J.R.

A moment of silence.

CHIPHe always jerks me around.

Chip walks towards the pond, heading home.

JENNIHe thinks he’s an action hero.

CHIPI know.

JENNIBut he’s not.

Chip stops.

18.

CHIP (cont'd)



JENNIAnd he doesn’t know it, but heneeds you.

Chip turns to face her.

JENNIAnd if you leave him out here, yourparents will crap pants.

Chip thinks this through.

JENNIDo they even know where you guysare right now? They’re probably worried sick.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNDAY HOUSEHOLD- SOON

Karen stomps into the house and throws her purse violentlyinto the hall closet.

She flops onto the couch and crosses her arms like a child.

Louis enters holding two frozen daiquiris with umbrellas inthem.

KARENWhere are the kids?

LOUIS(all smiles)

How the heck would I know? But hey-I think I’ve solved our vacationproblem.

Karen glares at him and snatches a daiquiri from his hand.

LOUISTwo words. Or maybe one word,hyphenated...

KARENMurder-suicide?

LOUISStaycation!

Karen swirls her drink with the umbrella. Louis sits downbeside her.

19.



KAREN(frustrated)

Every day is staycation.

LOUISThat’s the spirit!

KARENNot what I meant, Louis.

She crosses her arms and glares at him.

LOUISWell, I guess we’re going to betalking British all night, aren’t we?

KARENBollocks.

FANTASY CUT TO:

EXT. CLOUDS - DAY

An imposing, black, MILITARY HELICOPTER stealthily descendsthrough voluminous clouds.

J.R. and Treb lean out the side, wind whipping at their hair.J.R. holds a pair of binoculars to his eyes.

POV BINOCULARS

Electronic red lines and circles buzz around the focus: atrain pulling a series of cargo cars. The circles and linesfocus in on one car in particular, it has J.R.’s MOTORCYCLEstrapped to it, protected by armed guards.

J.R. lowers the binoculars. He presses a button on hisheadset.

J.R.General Acres, we have a visual onthe bike. Request permission to

intercept.General Acres sounds not-unlike Keith David, with a deep,authoritative voice.

GENERAL ACRES (O.S.)Negative, kid. It’s too risky.You are not, I repeat, not toengage the target in the no flyzone.

20.



J.R.Target is moving out of range,General, I don’t have time fordiplomacy.

GENERAL ACRES (O.S.)

My hands are tied. Maybe nexttime, kid. Abort mission. Irepeat: mission abort.

J.R. punches the door frame in frustration.

TREBThis stinks.

J.R.Yeah. It stinks.

He turns...

J.R.Stinks...of fun.

He pulls a sniper rifle off the wall and tosses it to Treb.

J.R.How’s your aim these days?

TREBI’ve got the eye of a seagull.

J.R.

Let’s hope you’re right.

J.R. runs and LEAPS OUT OF THE HELICOPTER. Treb muttersunder his breath and takes aim...

KABLAM! He shoots a zipline right through J.R.’s arms. Itimbeds into the metal of the train with a THWANG.

J.R. SLIDES DOWN the line and lands next to the motorcycle.He cuts the line free, and crouches.

The guards haven’t noticed him. Silently, J.R. runs a tight

circle around them, stopping at each along the way, weaving azipline through each of the guards’ belts.

He stands and WHISTLES.

J.R.(husky, intense)

Don’t you bozos have a flight tocatch?

21.



The guards raise their guns in alarm, but don’t manage to geta shot off as they’re PULLED INTO THE AIR by the zipline.

J.R. salutes up to Treb, hops on the bike and tries to kick-start it, but it’s dead.

KANG (O.S.)(Sarcastically applauding)Oh, bravo. Great job, my youngadversary. You got onto my secrettrain. But really...

Kang appears on top of the boxcar in front of J.R. Hispurple and gold cape whips in the high-speed wind.

KANG (CONT’D)...did you think, after all theseyears, I would be stupid enough tolet you escape? There’s no gas in

that bike.

J.R.Kang?! I thought you were dead!The missile...

KANGI’m afraid you were mistaken.It’ll take a lot more than anuclear space-missile to take medown, my young nemesis.

J.R.

Maybe you’re not dead, but yourbreath still smells like my Nana’spurse.

KANG(losing his cool)

Erroneous!

Kang quickly pulls himself together after his outburst. Heslowly draws an ENORMOUS SWORD from a concealed sheath on hisback.

KANGWords hurt, young man.

J.R.So do fists!

J.R. jumps off the bike and runs towards Kang for the fightof a lifetime.

22.



But, as he approaches his nemesis, Kang’s shoulder EXPLODESIN CIRCUITS AND SPARKS and REVEALS HIS ROBOTIC WORKINGSUNDERNEATH. J.R. is frozen, completely surprised by theshot.

KANG

Damn you! I’ll be back!

Kang taps his boots together and SHOOTS INTO THE AIR on hisrobotic ROCKET HEELS.

J.R.Wait, what? Come back! No!

TREB (ON THE EAR PIECE)Zappos! Did you see that shot!Told’ja I was dead on! Does itsmell like fun down there? Becauseit sure does up here.

J.R.(angry)

Treb! No! No. That was mynemesis.

TREBDude, head shot! Achievementunlocked.

J.R.That wasn’t a headshot, you mortard.

CUT BACK TOREALITY:

EXT. THE RAMBLES- TRAIN TRACKS- DAY

J.R. and Treb stand on either side of train tracks cuttingthrough the Rambles. Treb holds a long stick like a sniperrifle.

J.R.

It was a shoulder shot.TREB

Relax, I saved your life.

J.R.Nu uh! And that’s not a sniperrifle, it’s a sniper zipline gun!

23.



TREBI reloaded it while you guys wereexchanging recipes.

J.R.You should have let me sword fight

Kang! I mean, we were on a train!It would have been so cool.

TREBOkay, okay, you’re right. Ishouldn’t have taken the shot. I’m sorry. In my defense, I did notknow he was a robot.

J.R.We weren’t supposed to find outabout that until I cut his circuits with my- nevermind. Nevermind.

TREBHey, check it out.

A WOODEN TRESTLE with TRAIN TRACKS spans a deep gorge in the woods. J.R and Treb stand at the edge, staring acrossbridge.

TREBWe can cross here, but if a traincomes we’d be-

J.R.

Wait!

J.R. licks his finger, rubs it on his earlobe and touches thetrack. He hears a HIGH PITCHED CLATTERING AND THRUMMING.Like a train approaching.

J.R.It’s clear. Let’s go!

He and Treb run onto the bridge, stepping on the slatsbetween the tracks.

HALFWAY ACROSS THE BRIDGEJ.R. looks down through the planks. He sees the endless dropbelow them. He hocks a loogee, it flutters and disappearsinto the mist.

He looks back and grins at Treb.

His grin drops.

24.



A TRAIN WHISTLE SHRIEKS!

J.R.(pointing)

Choo choo! Choo choo!

Treb turns. A plume of smoke flies from just beyond thetrees. A moment later a GIGANTIC BLACK LOCOMOTIVE with aMENACING CATTLE CATCHER rounds the bend, barrelling towardsthem.

JENNI AND CHIP EMERGE FROM THE WOODS ON THE FAR SIDE OF THEBRIDGE.

CHIP(scans for J.R. and Treb)

Where are they?

JENNI

At least we know they’re not stupidenough to try and cross thisbridge.

J.R. (O.S.)Choo choo!

Chip’s eyes goes wide as he see’s J.R. and Treb vainlyattempting to outrun the train.

JENNIThey’re not going to make it...

CHIPGuys, get out of there! Run! Run,you little idiots!

Jenni stands on the tracks, waving her arms.

JENNIStop! Stop! Kids on bridge! K OB! K O B!

The train doesn’t slow.

JENNIIt’s not even pulling any cars!

J.R.’s outrunning Treb, who falls way behind.

J.R. makes it to the end of the bridge with time to spare.Chip immediately grabs him.

CHIPAre you insane?

25.



J.R.Where’s Treb?

Treb has fallen, his foot caught in a plank.

J.R.

Treb!

J.R. pulls free from Chip.

CHIPJ.R., no!

J.R.Treb!

J.R. rushes back onto the bridge, playing a perilous game ofchicken with the choo choo.

JENNIWhy isn’t it stopping?

CHIP(disbelief)

I think it’s speeding up.

INT. MEAN CHOO CHOO- CONTINUOUS

A cantankerous OLD ENGINEER CACKLES and WHEEZES as he bareshis toothless gums. He keeps Treb and J.R. centered in thetarget he’s scratched onto the windshield. His withered hand

pushes the accelerator up and into the red.

EXT. TRAIN BRIDGE- CONTINUOUS

J.R. slides into the fallen Treb. He’s too late. Thetrain’s almost on them.

TIME SLOWS AROUND THEM, muting the thunderous howl of theoncoming choo choo.

TREB

(lovingly)You didn’t have to come.

J.R.(softly, sincere andoverdramatic)

I have been, and always shall beyour friend.

A tear rolls down Treb’s cheek.

26.



TIME RESUMES FULL SPEED.

CHIP IS THERE. He tackles J.R. and Treb over the edge rightas the choo choo PLOWS THROUGH!

Underneath the bridge, Chip hangs onto one end of Treb’s

LAPTOP BAG with J.R. and Treb on the other. The choo choorushes overhead. They scream until it passes. Then theyhang in silence.

CHIPStrong bag.

TREBHemp.

CHIPHuh.

AT THE END OF THE BRIDGE, the choo choo flies past Jenni.Her hand to her mouth, eyes wide in horror. She peers downthe bridge, no sign of the boys.

A second later and Chip’s head pops up. Jenni finallybreathes, relaxes.

Chip pulls J.R. and Treb up. J.R. dusts himself off.

They walk towards Jenni.

J.R.’s practically running puppy circles around Chip.

J.R.That was like Indiana Jones meetsAsteroth from Soul Caliber!

CUT TO:

EXT. THE RAMBLES - DUSK

The sun starts to set over the rambles, casting an orangeglow over the woods.

EXT. CREEPY HOUSE- DUSK

Chip leads the group out of the woods into a small clearing.

An OLD HOUSE, with an AGING BARN sits amongst the trees.

CHIPGuys, check it out: we’re here.

27.



J.R.We are? Where’s the-

J.R. cuts himself off when he sees it: A GLEAMING CHROMEMOTORCYCLE leaning against the barn door, sparkling in asetting sunbeam.

Treb and J.R. are frozen at the sight of the bike, awestruck.

J.R.(whispering)

It’s perfect.

TREBShh.

CHIPCome on, it’s getting dark.

Treb and J.R. run up to the house, Jenni and Chip follow morecautiously.

J.R.Hello? Anyone home?

An attractive OLD MAN ala Carey Grant’s Atticus Finch, comeshobbling out of the barn, wiping his hands on an oiled workcloth.

OLD MAN(friendly)

Well now, what do we have here?

(He calls off screen)Martha! There’s a couple kids downhere who seem like good people.Now why don’t you come on out andsay your hellos?

He expectantly looks up at a dark window on the second floor,but gets no response.

OLD MANOh, come now, Martha! These aregood kids! It’s not going to be

like last time!The old man kneels down and puts his face close into Chip’s.

OLD MAN(whispering)

You’re good kids, right?

Chip takes a step back, creeped out.

28.



CHIPUm, we’re here about the Craiglistad.

OLD MANI specifically said an adult man.

And you don’t look like a swimmer.

J.R.We don’t swim, we’re here for thebike!

OLD MAN(clears his throat)

Right. Right, you kids are herefor the motorcycle.

J.R.(eagerly)

Yes!

The old man fishes into his overalls and tosses Chip a set ofkeys. J.R., Chip and Treb whoop it up and run over to the motorcycle.

JENNIIt’s in great shape, why are yougiving it away?

OLD MANOh, Martha’s been on me to get ridof the old thing for years. I wish

I could keep it, but you know.Can’t say no to Martha.

He winks then grins at the kids, flashing creepy, pebblyyellow teeth at them.

Awkward moment.

The old man stands bolt upright, fists clenched at his sides.

OLD MANI’m coming, Martha! Stop screaming

at me!Nobody is screaming.

OLD MANSorry, she gets this way when kidsare rude around her.

He glares at Jenni and then turns his back on them, shufflingaway.

29.



CHIP(nervous)

We should leave. Like now.

TREB AND J.R(excited/oblivious)

Hooray!

The kids push the bike away, along a small road that leadsinto the woods.

The old man walks out of the garage, smiling. An ancientGerman Shepard pads out and sits beside him, panting.

OLD MANOh, now you come out to say hello?I told you they were nice kids,Martha.

Martha stares up at him.

OLD MANScrabble? You’re on!

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODLAND ROAD- SOON

An engine disturbs the silence. Pebbles on the road vibrateto the oncoming rumble.

Chip tears around the bend on the motorcycle, Jenni sittingbehind him, clutching him for balance.

They casually crash, and go flying into some bushes.

Treb and J.R. run up, panting just as Chip pops up,uninjured, covered in twigs and dirt.

CHIPThat was awesome, right?

J.R AND TREB

Oh my god, so awesome! etc.CHIP

Come on, get on!

J.R. and Treb take off. The wind pushes their cheeks backand whips their hair around.

J.R.This is better than I imagined!

30.



They immediately CRASH into some bushes, then jump out andcheer.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNDAY HOUSEHOLD- KITCHEN- LATER THAT EVENING

The whole Sunday family sits around the dinner table, passingaround a bucket of fried chicken. J.R. gestures at hisbrother with a drumstick.

J.R.You had Mr. Donnoly last year,before his wife left him! Now ourtests are EXTRA HARD!

CHIPOh, you think they weren’t tough

when he was in a loveless marriage?

J.R.No! You skated by, he didn’t havea clue until she was halfway outthe door.

Chip scoffs.

LOUISA challenging math class will helpyou in your future career, kiddo.

J.R.Nu uh! Why would an Ice Truckerneed math? Right, Mom?

KARENActually, Ice Truckers use math allthe time-

J.R.Yeah yeah yeah.

Treb kicks open the screen door, and falls into the kitchen.

He’s trying to drag a huge, black net into the house.TREB

(out of breath)Oh my god, you guys, you’re notgoing to believe it!

J.R. and Chip stand up, all business.

31.



CHIPWhat’s up?

LOUISEvening, Trebuchet.

TREBEvening, Louis. You guys, it’s allover Power News 7!

J.R.(so excited)

What?!

TREBA lynx escaped from the zoo! Andthere’s a bounty!

J.R.

They need bounty hunters!

LOUISOkay, settle down, there’s no lynxin here.

J.R.Let’s go to the garage and makeclaw armor!

The kids rush out of the room.

LOUIS

This is why they need healthinsurance.

KARENCan you just make sure they wearhelmets?

Louis nods and follows the boys into the garage.

INT. THE GARAGE- CONTINUOUS

Louis walks into the garage. The boys rummage around his workbench.

LOUISHelmets, guys. Make sure you-

Louis cuts himself off when he sees THE MOTORCYCLE.

LOUISUm...Chip.

32.



CHIP(not paying attention)

Yeah, dad?

LOUISCan I talk to you for a sec?

Chip goes to his dad.

CHIPWhat’s up?

LOUISI’m seeing a motorcycle in thisgarage and I’m wondering where itcame from...

CHIPWe got it from an old creepo in the

woods.

LOUISGo on.

CHIPWe didn’t know he was a creepo.

Louis lifts an eyebrow and cross his arms.

CHIPWe found that out when we gotthere.

LOUISHow much of a creepo are we talkinghere?

CHIPI don’t know, pretty creepo.

LOUISOn a scale of 1-10.

CHIP

10 being the least creepy?LOUIS

No, 10 is the most creepy.

CHIPOh, well then he was a 10.

LOUISOkay, then what did you do?

33.



CHIPI got everybody the heck out ofthere.

Louis claps him on the shoulder.

LOUISGood. That was the right thing todo. You guys don’t have somecreepo hunting you down for thisbike, right?

CHIPNope, he just wanted to get rid ofit and not talk about Martha.

LOUISWell, what you did was wrong. Youguys can’t go into the woods alone

and take things from creepos.

CHIPYou’re right, dad. It won’t happenagain.

LOUISAnd...

CHIPAnd...I’m sorry.

LOUIS

Good. Uuuuuuum. Right. Stay awayfrom strangers.

CHIPYou got it, dad!

(to J.R. and Treb)Let’s go, that lynx isn’t going tobounty itself.

The boys run from the garage.

LOUIS

Oh, wait, wear helmets!CHIP (O.S.)

No time, dad!

LOUISWhatever! Have fun!

Once they’re gone.

34.



LOUIS(calling to her)

Karen...

KAREN (O.S.)(muffled from the kitchen)

What?

LOUISWill you come out here please?

Karen enters, drying her hands on a kitchen towel. Louis iskneeling next to the motorcycle, running his hand down thefuel tank.

KARENWhat’s with the motorcycle?

LOUIS

This isn’t a motorcycle.

KARENI’m not stupid, Louis. I know whata motorcycle is.

He turns to her, smiling.

LOUISIt’s a 1939 Lieptzing Roustamensch.

KARENOkay...

LOUISDuring World War II, it was the German motorcycle. I’ve never seenone in such good condition.

KARENWhere did you get it?

LOUISKids got it from a creepo in the woods.

KARENWhat?

LOUISIt’s not important, do you know how much this is worth?

KARENOur children’s safety?

35.



LOUIS(ignoring her, petting thebike)

I’d say 20 thousand, easy.

KAREN

(brightening up)Really?

LOUISYeah, people love these old bikes!

KARENWell, let’s sell it! Right now!

Louis casually walks to the motorcycle, leans against it,super-cool.

LOUIS

We can’t sell it until we make sureit works...

He tosses her a pair of goggles.

KARENYou’re right. That would beirresponsible.

She climbs on the bike. Louis gets on behind her, clingingto her waist. She GUNS the engine and TEARS out of thegarage.

EXT. ROAD - CONTINUOUS

Louis and Karen WHOOP IT UP as they drive around town,blasting the engine on their creepo motorcycle.

FADE OUT.

FANTASY FADEINTO:

EXT. SPACE - NIGHTAce Brando’s giant spaceship hangs in the void.

ACE BRANDO (O.S.)Back! Push her back! Keep it up!Almost there!

36.



INT. SPACESHIP- HIBERNATION DECK 18 - CONTINUOUS

Ace Brando, a MALE and a FEMALE alien drive a GIGANTIC SPACELYNX back into a decompression chamber with ELECTRIC SPACEPRODS.

Looming above them, it SNARLS, HISSES and SLASHES at them with its giant alien claws.

ACE BRANDO(laughing)

Ho ho! She’s really mad now! Keepit up, guys!

The door to the chamber SWISHES shut, trapping the beastinside. The two space warriors fall to the ground, laughingand triumphant.

An alien bursts out of Ace Brando’s chest and looks up at

him.

CHEST ALIEN(Chip’s voice)

Guys, where’s Treb?

CUT BACK TOREALITY:

INT. J.R.’S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Treb defensively clutches a shampoo bottle, back pressed

against the door. The LYNX, pupils fully dilated, readies topounce.

CUT TO BLACK.

37.

Continuing Adventures

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