CONFRONT YOUR TEENAGER ABOUT STEALINGhave+guides+new… · • Hide your valuables and your purse....
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CONFRONT YOUR TEENAGER ABOUT STEALING Stealing in teenagers is common. Most teenagers will take something that doesn’t belong to them at some point. However, it is behaviour that you need to tackle- and stop. Teenagers who steal regularly tend to feel a bit more ‘entitled’ to things. However, in general, most teens don’t like themselves very much for taking things that don’t belong to them. They may want to change but don’t know how. Stealing can become a habit that is hard to stop. No teenager wants to get caught stealing. Initially when you first confront your teenager they may get upset, angry or defiant. However, if you handle it in the right way, you can help your teenager take responsibility for what they’ve done and break the stealing habit. How do you confront a teenager who you know has been stealing? What do you say? Further on in this guide, I’m going to go through a script. The actual words you can use to challenge your teenager over the stealing. This will help your teenager to realise the impact of what they’ve done and will hopefully stop them stealing in the future. However, first, we’re going to look at how you can understand your teenager, and prepare to talk with them. The day you find out about the stealing, and confront your teenager, will be a day they will remember for years to come. It’s important to say the right things and help them remember it for the RIGHT reasons. What if you’ve got no proof? If you suspect your teenager is stealing, but have no proof, you will have to wait to have the conversation about stealing when you have some evidence. In the meantime, there are a few things you can do: • Hide your valuables and your purse. • Mark any banknotes in your purse with a small cross in the corner. That way, if you discover money in your teenager’s possession, you can then identify whether it came from your purse. • If money has gone missing from your purse, you could put an envelope on the kitchen table and go out. Explain that you want the missing money to be returned by the time you get back. (It might work!) • If the money is not returned, deduct the amount that has been stolen from the housekeeping money. I would suggest that EVERYBODY in the family eats only basic, value, cheap meals, with no treats, until you’ve made up the money that was taken. • Plan to have plenty of one-to-one time with your teenager and family discussions about honesty. Try to steer the conversation to discuss the impact that stealing has on relationships. Explain that trust in relationships is easy to lose and hard to regain. Talk about how taking things can become a habit, that’s important to break. Explain that a number of shops will prosecute a teenager the first time they’re caught shoplifting, which can result in a teenager getting a criminal record. Talk about how having a criminal record could damage your teenager’s future job prospects and choice of career, which could affect your teenager for the rest of their lives. Why is it so important to tackle the stealing in the right way?
Transcript of CONFRONT YOUR TEENAGER ABOUT STEALINGhave+guides+new… · • Hide your valuables and your purse....
CONFRONTYOURTEENAGERABOUTSTEALINGStealinginteenagersiscommon.Mostteenagerswilltakesomethingthatdoesn’tbelongtothematsomepoint.However,itisbehaviourthatyouneedtotackle-andstop.Teenagerswhostealregularlytendtofeelabitmore‘entitled’tothings.However,ingeneral,mostteensdon’tlikethemselvesverymuchfortakingthingsthatdon’tbelongtothem.Theymaywanttochangebutdon’tknowhow.Stealingcanbecomeahabitthatishardtostop.Noteenagerwantstogetcaughtstealing.Initiallywhenyoufirstconfrontyourteenagertheymaygetupset,angryordefiant.However,ifyouhandleitintherightway,youcanhelpyourteenagertakeresponsibilityforwhatthey’vedoneandbreakthestealinghabit.Howdoyouconfrontateenagerwhoyouknowhasbeenstealing?Whatdoyousay?Furtheroninthisguide,I’mgoingtogothroughascript.Theactualwordsyoucanusetochallengeyourteenageroverthestealing.Thiswillhelpyourteenagertorealisetheimpactofwhatthey’vedoneandwillhopefullystopthemstealinginthefuture.However,first,we’regoingtolookathowyoucanunderstandyourteenager,andpreparetotalkwiththem.Thedayyoufindoutaboutthestealing,andconfrontyourteenager,willbeadaytheywillrememberforyearstocome.It’simportanttosaytherightthingsandhelpthemrememberitfortheRIGHTreasons.Whatifyou’vegotnoproof?Ifyoususpectyourteenagerisstealing,buthavenoproof,youwillhavetowaittohavetheconversationaboutstealingwhenyouhavesomeevidence.Inthemeantime,thereareafewthingsyoucando:• Hideyourvaluablesandyourpurse.
• Markanybanknotesinyourpursewithasmallcrossinthecorner.Thatway,ifyoudiscovermoneyinyour
teenager’spossession,youcanthenidentifywhetheritcamefromyourpurse.• Ifmoneyhasgonemissingfromyourpurse,youcouldputanenvelopeonthekitchentableandgoout.Explain
thatyouwantthemissingmoneytobereturnedbythetimeyougetback.(Itmightwork!)• Ifthemoneyisnotreturned,deducttheamountthathasbeenstolenfromthehousekeepingmoney.Iwould
suggestthatEVERYBODYinthefamilyeatsonlybasic,value,cheapmeals,withnotreats,untilyou’vemadeupthemoneythatwastaken.
• Plantohaveplentyofone-to-onetimewithyourteenagerandfamilydiscussionsabouthonesty.Trytosteertheconversationtodiscusstheimpactthatstealinghasonrelationships.Explainthattrustinrelationshipsiseasytoloseandhardtoregain.Talkabouthowtakingthingscanbecomeahabit,that’simportanttobreak.Explainthatanumberofshopswillprosecuteateenagerthefirsttimethey’recaughtshoplifting,whichcanresultinateenagergettingacriminalrecord.Talkabouthowhavingacriminalrecordcoulddamageyourteenager’sfuturejobprospectsandchoiceofcareer,whichcouldaffectyourteenagerfortherestoftheirlives.
Whyisitsoimportanttotacklethestealingintherightway?
Whenyoufirstdiscoveryourteenagerhasbeenstealingyouhaveanopportunitytostopthem.It’simportanttoknowwhatconsequencestogive,andwhythey’reimportant.Whatmighthappenifyouaretoosoft?Ifyouletyourteenagergetofftoolightly–youwon’tstopthem,andthestealingwillcontinue.Stealingcanbecomeahabitthatishardtobreak.Ifthey’recaught,thiscouldcauseyourteenagertoendupwithacriminalrecord.Ofcourse,youarenotresponsibleforthebadchoicesyourteenagermakes.Iftheygetacriminalrecordorgotoprisonitwillbetheirownfault.However,youhavethechancetostopyourteenagerstealingagain,andchangethedirectionthey’reheaded.Whatcouldhappenifyouaretooharsh?Ifyouaretoosevereyourteenagermayendupdefiantandrebellious.Givingtoughpenaltiesforstealingcanstopyourteenagerfeelingguiltyaboutthestealing,andcausethemtofeelresentfultowardsyouforissuingsuchastrictpunishment.Ithastheoppositeeffecttotheresultyou’dwant.Harshpunishmentsareunlikelytomakeyourteenagerwanttostopstealing.Itcancreatemoreofariftinyourrelationshipwithyourteenager,andjustmakethemmoredeterminednottogetcaughtnexttime.Ifyoucangivesufficientappropriateconsequencesforthestealing-youmaybeabletostopit.TheconsequencesIsuggestyoutogivewillhopefullyhelpyourteenager:
• Regaintheirbeliefintheirownself-worth.• Regaintheirrespectforyou.• Understandhowtheirstealinghasaffectedthepeoplearoundthem.And• Stopthemfeelingentitledtotakeotherpeople’spossessions.
Ifyouhandletheconversationwell,youcangetyourteenagertounderstandandagreethatiftheyeverstealagain,theywillbechoosingharsherconsequences.Yourultimateaimistostopthestealinghabitwithyourrelationshipintactsoyoucancontinuetoinfluenceyourteenagerforthebetter.Beforeyouactuallyconfrontyourteenager,it’susefultolookatwhatmaybegoingonforyourteenager,soyoucanplanaheadfortheconversationyou’llhave.
Whatmaybegoingoninsideyourteenager’shead?
Readthroughthefollowinglistanddecideforyourselfwhichsuggestionsmaybetrueforyourteenager:Beforeyourteenageriscaughtstealing• Yourteenagermaynotthinkofthemselvesasabadpersonforstealing.• Ontheotherhand,sometimesateenageristoldsooftenthattheyarebad,theythinkofthemselvesasa‘rebel.’
Theydecidethattheywillneverbegoodatbeinggood,sotheydecidetobereallygoodatbeingbad!Ifthisisyourteenager,theymaynotworryaboutbeingcaught.
• Yourteenagermaynotknowwhythey’restealing.However,thereisoftenanunderlyingissuethattheydon’t
feelappreciatedordon’tfeeltheygettheattentionorrespecttheydeserve.• Ifyourteenagerhasbeenstealingfromshopsorfromfriends,theymaywellhaveconvincedthemselvesthatit
isn’tfairthattheydon’thavethethingsotherpeoplecanafford.Theymaythinktheyhavethesamerighttoownnicethings,asothers,andmaybelievetheshopscanaffordit.
• Yourteenagermayhaveconvincedthemselvesthatstealingisn’tsobad.
Ifseveraloftheirfriendssteal,andgetawaywithit,theymayadmirethesefriendsforhavingthecouragetosteal.
• Yourteenagermaystealbecauseofthethrillitgivesthem.Theadrenalinerushofdoingsomethingwrong.• Yourteenagermayfeelthateverybodythinkstheyareaniceteenager,andsometimestheyjustwanttorebel
anddosomethingnoonewouldexpectthemtodo–toshowthey’reindependent.• Stealingfordrugmoneyisnotuncommon.
Itisgoodtobeprepared,whenconfrontingyourteenageraboutthestealing,thatyourteenagercouldbestealingtobuydrugs.Ifdrugtakingisalsoanissue,youwillneedtotacklethattoo.Ifyourteenagerconfessestousingdrugs,thankyourteenagerforbeinghonest.Tellyourteenageryouneedtothinkaboutthatone,andthatyou’llhelpgetitsorted.Explainthatyou’llneedtocomebacktothemwhenyou’veworkedoutthebestwaytotackleit.Thengetsomeprofessionaladvice.
• Deepdown,yourteenagerprobablydoesn’tlikethemselvesmuchforstealing.Takingthingsmayhavebecomeahabit.Yourteenagerknowsthatstealingiswrongandmaydreadbeingcaught.
• Itispossiblethatthestealinghasbeengoingonforsometime.
Youmayhavebeentoobusyortoounobservanttonoticethemissingmoney.Sofaryourteenagerhasgotawaywithit.However,here’stheshowdowntheyhavebeendreading.
Sohowmightyourteenagerbehavewhenyouconfrontthem?• Yourteenagermaylietoyouaboutwherethemoneyhascomefrom.
Yourteenagermayclaimitwasputtherebyabrotherorsister,oritbelongstoafriend,orit’stheirsavings,ortheyhavenoideahowitgotthere.Youcouldsay:‘It’shardtobelievethatyoursisterwouldhidethemoneyunderyourmattress.Iwillbetalkingtoanyoneyoublame.SothinkcarefullybeforeIcheckoutyourstory.’Alternatively,youmightsay:‘Whatyouaresayingdoesn’tseemlikely.However,Iwilltalktoyourfriend’sparents.I’drathernotinvolveanyoneelse,asIsuspectyouwouldpreferotherpeopledidn’tknowaboutthemoney.However,itisyourchoice.Ifyouinsistthemoneywasgiventoyoubyyourfriend,Iwillcheckitoutwithhis/herparents.’
• Yourteenagermaybeannoyedthatyouwere‘snooping’intheirroomlookingforthemissingmoney.
Accusingyouofspyingisagooddiversionfromtherealissueofthestolenmoney.Generally,itisbesttorespectateenager’sprivacy.However,thisisyourhouse.Youpaythebills.Yourteenagerislivingunderyourroof.Youhavearighttogointoanyroomyouchooseandlookforthingsthathavegonemissing.It’syourresponsibilitytoprotectyourteenagerwhentheyhavemadepoordecisions,particularlyifthatmistakecouldaffecttheircareerprospectsinthefuture.Losingyourtrustwillresultinyoucheckinguponthemmoreoften.Ifyourteenagerisannoyedwithyouforlookingintheirroom,youcouldsay:‘Privacyandtrustarethingsyouearn;theyarenot‘rights.’Ipaythebills.Thisismyhouse.Iwasworriedaboutthemissingmoney.Ihaveeveryrighttolookforit.Wecandiscussthislater.RightnowIwanttoknowaboutthemoney.’
• Yourteenagermaystronglydenystealingthemoney,andtrytomakeyoufeelguiltyforsuspectingtheminthe
firstplace.• Anyteenagerwhoisaccusedofstealingwillprobablytrytocontactsomeonetobackuptheirstory.
Whilstyou’resortingthisoutyoumayliketopreventthemusingtheirmobileorelectronicdevicestocontactotherpeople.Insistthatyouwillcheckouttheirstorywithaparentoradult-whowillbemuchlesslikelytocoverforyourteenager.Giveyourteenagerfairwarningthatyou’reabouttocalltheirfriend’sparents,tocheckuptheirstory,incasetheywanttoreconsider.
• Ifyourteenagerisstealing,it’spossibletheywon’twanttoadmittoit,ortakeresponsibility.• Yourteenagermayhaveconvincedthemselvesthatyoualmostdeserveitforbeingsonaïveandtrusting.• Theywillprobablyrelyonyoubelievingtheirstorytogetawaywithit.• Yourteenageralmostcertainlywon’twantyoutoknowaboutanythingelsethey’vestoleninthepast.• Yourteenagerwillprobablywanttocheckoutwhatconsequencesyouhaveinmindiftheyownup.
Explaintheconsequencestheywillgettoday,andwhatwillhappeninthefutureifthey’reevercaughtstealingagain.’
Onceyourteenagerrealisesyouknowtheywerestealing:• Yourteenagermayconfessandtellyouhowguiltytheyhavebeenfeelingaboutit.Thisisprobablythebest
reactionofall,asyouwantyourteenagertofeelguiltyandshowsomeremorse.• Yourteenagermaycryandgetupset.Iftheyjustcry,letthem.It’sahorriblesituationtobein.Beingcaughtcan
behugelyupsetting.Justwaituntiltheycalmdownandthencontinuetheconversation.Someteenagerswillusecryingasadiversion.Don’tletthetearsdeteryoufrombeingfirmabouttheconsequencesforthestealing.
• Yourteenagermaysaysorry,andtellyouthey’llneverdoitagain.Theymayoffertodosomethingforyouto
showhowsorrytheyare,inthehopeyouwillstillfeeltheyaretrustworthyanddecent.Ifyourteenagerapologises–accepttheirapology.‘I’mgladyou’resayingsorry.That’simportant.Youareusuallysogood.Thisisunlikeyou.Iknowyou’vemadeamistake.What’simportantisthatyoulearnfromit,becauseifyoudon’ttheconsequencescouldcostyouyourreputation,yourfriendshipsandacriminalrecord.Sortingthisoutisgoingtobetough,butIknowyou’llbeokintheend.’
• Yourteenagermaygetangry.Theymayfeelthat‘attackisthebestformofdefence.’
Theymayshoutatyouorcriticiseyouforallyourfaults.Theymayjustifythestealingbyblamingyou.Theiraggressionisanattempttochanneltheconversationawayfromthestealing.Ifyourteenagergetsangryatyou,youmayenduptryingtodefendyourself.Thisstopsyourteenageracceptingtheydidsomethingwrong.Inthiscase,youcouldsaysomethinglike:‘Therealissueisthat£60wentmissingfrommypurse,andthemoneywasfoundunderyourmattress.That’stheonlythingI’dliketodiscussrightnow.Ifyouwanttoyellorscream,I’mleaving.I’llcomebackinhalfanhour,whenyou’vecalmeddown.WhenIcomeback,themissingmoneyiswhatI’dliketodiscuss.’
• Ifyourteenagerrealisestheyhavebeencaught,theymayclaimthiswasthefirsttimethey’vestolen.Althoughit’spossiblethisisthefirsttime,it’sveryunlikely.Mostteenagershavetakenafewthingsbefore.Somewillhavebeentakingthingsthatdon’tbelongtothemforyears!
• YourteenagerwillprobablywantyoutohelpthemfeelthattheyarestillanOKperson,eveniftheyhavedone
somethingwrong.• Yourteenagerwilldesperatelywanttokeeptheirreputationintact.
Yourteenagerwillbedesperatetoavoidanyoneelseknowingaboutthestealing.Theywon’twanttoapologiseorreturnmoneyoritemsthey’vestolentofamilymembers,friendsorshops.
• Yourteenagermaybegladofconsequencesandwanttomakeupforthestealing.• Alternatively,yourteenagercouldhaveanattitudeofentitlement.
Theymaytrytogetoutofhavinganyconsequences.• Whenyourteenagerrealiseshowmuchthestealinghasupsetyou,andstoppedyoutrustingthem,theywill
undoubtedlywanttogetthattrustback.Ifyouconfrontyourteenageraboutthestealing,andhandleitwell…• Intheend,possiblyyearslater,yourteenagerwillbegladyoustoppedthem.• They’llberelievedtheydidn’tevergetacriminalconvictionforstealing.• Yourteenagerwillprobablyfeelabitembarrassedaboutthestealing,andacceptitwaswrong.• Theymaystillenvyotherpeople’spossessions,butthey’llknowthatiftheyreallywantsomethingthey’llhaveto
earnit.• Hopefully,yourteenagerwillfeelclosertoyouandsorrytheyeverstolefromyou.
HowtotacklethestealingTherearetwopartstoconfrontingyourteenager:1. Thefirstpartispreparingproperlyfortheconversation.
Workingoutwhatyou’lldoifyourteenagerreactsindifferentways.2. Thesecondpartisactuallyhavingtheconversation.Part1:Preparingtoconfrontyourteenager.Imagineforamoment,that£60hasgonemissingfromyourpurse,andyou’vefound£60underyourteenager’smattress.It’simportanttoprepareproperlytoconfrontyourteenager.It’sgoodtoplanwhatyouwanttosay,andplanwhen,whereandhowyou’llsayit,tomakesurethattheimpactoftheconversationhastheeffectyouwant.Beforeyoutalktoyourteenageraboutthestealing,askyourself:Areyoucalm?Haveyouhadtimetocooloffandthinkclearly?Ifyoudiscoveritemsormoneyinyourteenager’sroomthatyoubelievetheyhavestolen,giveyourselfatleasthalfanhourtocalmdown.Don’ttalktoyourteenageruntilyou’vehadachancetoplanwhatyouwanttosay.
Duringtheconversationplantobefirmbutgentle.Don’traiseyourvoice.Plantostaycalmallthetime.Doyouknowexactlywhathappened?Doyouhaveproof?Couldtherebeanyotherreasontheyhavethismoneyintheirpossession?Doyouneedtospeaktoanyone(suchasyourpartner)tofindoutmoreinformation?Canyouplantohavetheconversationinprivate?Don’tembarrassyourteenagerbyconfrontingthemwhenabrother,sisteroranyoneelsecanhear.Itisalsobesttochooseoneparenttohavetheconversation.Twoparentsagainstoneteenagercanfeelscaryandhostile.Iftheconversationdoesnotgowell,planahead.Whatwillyousayordo?• itisgoodifyourteenagergetsupsetthattheygotcaught.
However,itissensibletoplanaheadsoifyourteenagercries,youdon’tfeeltemptedtoletthemoff.Yourteenagerwillhopethattheirdistresswillmakeyoufeelsorryforthem.Youmightliketosay:‘It’soktocry.It’supsettingtobecaughtdoingsomethingwrong.Comehereandhaveacuddle.Lateron,whenyou’refeelingcalmer,we’lltalkaboutwhat’sgoingtohappennext.’Donottalkabouttheconsequencesstraightaway,letyourteenagercryandhaveachancetocalmdown.
• Ifyourteenagergetsangryorconfrontational,stopthem.Say:‘No,stop!Wecantalkaboutthatlater.Rightnowwe’retalkingaboutthemoneythatwasunderyourmattress.’
• Ifyourteenagerbecomesphysicallyaggressivewalkaway.Say:‘Stopthat!It’snotoktotrytohurtme.I’mgoingoutoftheroom,butwewilltalkaboutthislater.’
• Ifyoustarttoloseyourtemper,orfeeloverwhelmed,it’sgoodtorememberthatyoudon’tneedtosorteverythingoutinthesameconversation.Youcouldsaytoyourteenager:‘Ineedabitoftime.I’mgoingtotakeabreaksoIcancalmdown.Wewillcarrythisconversationonlater.’
• Ifyourteenagertriestolieaboutwhytheyhavethemoney,plantogivethemsometimetoreconsiderbeforeyoumakecallstocheckouttheirstory.Anyteenagerwhoiscaughtstealingwillprobablytrytocontactafriendtobackuptheirstory.Whilstyou’resortingthisoutyoumayliketopreventyourteenagerusingtheirmobileorelectronicdevicestocontactotherpeople.Insistthatyouwillcheckouttheirstorywithaparentoradult-whowillbemuchlesslikelytocoverforyourteenager.Givethemfairwarningthatyouareabouttomakethatcall.‘IwillberingingJack’sparentstoaskifit’struethathelentyou£60.I’llgiveyouhalfanhour,thenI’llcallthem.’
• Impressonyourteenager-nowisthetimetoadmitthetruth.Whatwillyousaytostarttheconversation?‘Ineedtotalktoyouaboutsomethingserious,isnowagoodtime?Ifnot,whencanwetalktoday?’Explainthefacts,tentativelysaywhatyouhaveconcluded,thenaskyourteenagertoexplainExplaintoyourteenager:‘£60hasgonemissingfrommypurse.’(fact.)‘Thismorning,Iwasmakingyourbed,andfound£60underthemattress.’(fact.)‘Thathasledmetobelievethatyoutookthemoneyfrommypurse,andhiditunderyourmattress.(tentativeconclusion.)Isthatwhathappened?’
Itisimportant,ifyoucan,tohelpyourteenagerunderstandthefactsthathaveledyoutothinktheystolethemoney.Evenifyouthinkyourcaseiswater-tight,don’ttellyourteenageryouknowtheytookthemoney.Don’taskyourteenager‘didyoustealthe£60frommypurse?Withouttellingthemwhatyoufound.Youwillbeinvitingthemtolie.Ofcoursetheywillsay‘no!’Noonelikestobe‘setup.Tellyourteenagerwhatyouhavefound.Ratherthanaccusingyourteenager.Usewordsthatarenotemotiveorjudgemental.(Avoidwordslike‘stealing’or‘thief’.Insteadtalkabout‘takingthingswithoutasking,’‘makingamistake,’‘notthinkingstraight’ora‘makingapoorchoice.’Ifyoulabelyourteenagerasathief,theywillstarttoliveuptothatreputation.Yourteenagerwillbegoodinmanyways.However,iftheytookyourmoney,theyhavemadeapoorchoice!Whatdoyouwantoutofthediscussion?Whatwouldbethebestoutcome?• Ideally,youwantyourteenagertoadmitthattheymadeamistake,makeamendsforwhattheytookandnotto
takethingsthatdon’tbelongtothemagain.
• Youundoubtedlywanttohaveagoodrelationshipwithyourteenagerattheend.However,therewillbeariftinyourrelationshipforawhile,andyouneedtobeokwiththat.Yourteenagerhaslostyourtrust.Theirfuturehonestyrestswithhowfirmandconsistentyoucanbewiththeconsequences.
• Youwantyourteenagertoknowthatyoustilllovethem.
However,you’reupsetanddisappointedinthem,andneverexpectedthisfromthem.• Youalsowanttofindoutwhytheystole,andaddressanyunderlyingproblems.• Ultimately,youwanttoallowyourteenagerthechancetoredeemthemselvesandre-buildyourrelationship
andthetrustyouhaveinthem.Whatwillbethebestwaytoapproachtheconversationtogettheoutcomeyouwant?Donotaskyourteenageriftheystolethemoney.Tellthemthefacts,tellthemwhatyouthinkthefactsmean,andthenaskwhattheythink.Donotgetdistractedfromsortingthisoutifyourteenagercriesorgetsangry.Trynottobelieveastoryorexcusethatyourteenagergivesyou.Makesurethatyouchecktheirstorywithanadult.Donotloseyourtemperorgetangryyourself.Plantostaycompletelycalm-keepyourvoicecalm,confidentandclearandmakeeyecontactduringyourdiscussion.Evenifyourteenagerisadamantthattheyhaven’ttakenit,orhasnoideaabouthowthemoneygotintotheirroom.Whatifyourteenagerrefusestoaccepttheevidence?Askyourteenagertogotoaneutralroomtothinkaboutit.Explainthatyouwillcomeandtalktotheminhalfanhour,whenthey’vehadachancetothink.Ifpossible,askyourteenagernottousetheirlaptopormobileduringthattime.Someteenagerswillphoneafriendtoprovideanalibi.Makeitaneutralroom.Ifyourteenagergoestotheirbedroom,theycouldusethetimetohideevidenceofitemsthey’vestolenWhatifthereareotherthingsthathavegonemissing?
Donotaccuseorblameyourteenagerforanythingelsethathasgonemissinguntiltheyhaveadmittedtostealingthemoney.Yourteenagercouldbecomejustifiablyupsetifyouwronglyaccusethem.Waituntilyourteenageradmitstheystolethemoney.Thenexplainwhyyouthinkthismayhavehappenedbefore.Ifitdoesn’tcomeup,askattheend‘WhataboutthemoneythatwentfromDarren’smoneyjar?Didyoutakethattoo?Explaintoyourteenagerthattodayistheirchancetocomecleanaboutanythingelsetheyhavestoleninthepast.Tellyourteenagerthatifyoufindanythingelse,youwillassumetheyhavetakenitaftertoday.Anyfuturestealingwillattractmoresevereconsequences.Whatcanyoudotomakeitmorelikelyyourteenagerwon’tstealagain?• Aseverepunishmentmaystopyoursonordaughterstealingintheshortterm,outoffear,ratherthanbecause
ofguiltorremorse.However,inthelongtermifyourteenagerdoesn’tfeelguiltyorashamedaboutthestealingtheymaycarryon,butgetbetteraboutconcealingit.Ifthepunishmentdoesn’tfeel‘fair’,yourteenagerwillprobablystopfeelingbadaboutwhattheydid,andjustfeelasimmeringresentmenttowardsyou.Teenagerssometimesstealbecausetheyfeeldisconnectedfromparents.Iftheyseeyouasthelawenforceror‘punisher’itislikelytocreatemoreofawedgebetweenyou.
• It’simportantyourteenagermakesamendsbyreturningthestolenmoneyoritems.
Oneofthebestwaysyourteenagercanmakeamendsistoapologisetothevictimandaskifthereisanythingelsetheycandotomakeupforstealingfromthem.Thefirsttimeateenagersteals,itissometimesgoodtoallowthemtokeeptheirgoodreputationandhaveasecondchance.However,ifyouexplainthatiftheyareevercaughtstealingagain,theywillneedtoreturntheitemandapologiseinperson,theywillbechoosingthisconsequenceiftheycontinuetosteal.
• Effectively,youwantyourteenagertofeelbadinside.Youwantthemtofeelashamed,takeresponsibility,makeupforwhattheydidandaccepttheconsequences.
Fivestepstodealwiththestealing.Therearefivethingsyouwillneedtodototacklethestealingthefirsttimeyoucatchyoursonordaughter.
1. YourteenagerneedstoadmitthemistakeYourteenagerneedstoadmittheywereatfault,andthattheymadeamistake.
2. ReturnstolenmoneyoritemsYourteenagershouldneverbeallowedtokeepthethingtheystole.orbenefitfromstealing.Iftheitemwasanonlinegame,itshouldbedeletedfromyourteenager’sdevice.Yourteenagershouldreturnallthestolenmoneyoritemstothevictim.Asthisisthefirsttimetheyhavebeencaught,theycanchoosetoreturnitinanonymouslyiftheywish.Sometimesthefirsttimeateenageriscaughtitisgoodtoallowthemtopreservetheirgoodreputation.Noonelikestobehumiliated.Everyonelikestoreceiveasecondchance.Itemscanbereturnedbyputtingthemback,orperhapssendingtheminthepost.Postingstolenitemsmaybeveryrelevantforshopswhoprosecutesfirsttimeoffendersforstealing.However,impressonyourteenagerthatifyoueverfindtheyhavestolensomethingagain,theywillneedtoreturntheitemandapologisedirectlytothevictim.
3. EarnmoneytoreplacestolenitemsIfthestolenitemhasbeenlostorbroken,oryourteenagerhasspentthemoney,theyneedtopayforthe
itemfromsavings,bysellingtheirstuff,orbydoingjobsaroundthehometoreturnthefullvalueoftheitem.Beverypedanticaboutthenumberofhoursyourteenagerhastoworktoearnthemoney.Ifthisishundredsofhours,thenstickwithit.Evenifthiswilltakeawholeyear.Decideonarateofpaysuitableforateenager.Checkwhatthe‘minimumwage’isfora21-year-oldandroughlyhalveit.Yourteenagercandoarangeofjobs(seelistattheendofthisguide)toearnthemoneytopayback.Ifyoucan’taffordtopayyourteenagerforthejobs,asktrustedrelatives,friendsandneighboursiftheyarewillingtopayyourteenagertoworkforthem.Justexplainthatyourteenagerisworkingtopaybacksomemoneyhe/sheowesyou.Whenthemoneyhasbeenearned,itistobeusedtopaybackthevictimthefullvalueoftheitemormoneythatwasstolen.
4. 15hoursofjobsalongsideyouInaddition,yourteenagershoulddo15hoursofhousework,alongsideyou,tomakeupforthehurttheycausedbystealinginthefirstplace.However,thistimethehouseworkshouldbedonewithyou,alongsideyou,notontheirown.Choosejobsyoucandotogether.Duringthetimetheyareworking,don’tmentionthestealing.Talkaboutschool,theirfriends,theirinterestsortheirlives.Thisisatimeforreconnection,notatimeforlecturesorpreaching.
5. Understandtheconsequencesiftheystealagain.Yourteenagerneedstounderstandthatiftheychoosetostealagain,therewillbemuchmoreseriousconsequencesthenexttime.• Theywillneedtoreturnanythingtheyhavestolen• Theywillneedtoapologisetothevictiminpersonandaskhowtheycanmakeamends.• Theywillneedtodo30hoursofhouseworkwithyou.• Youwillcallthepolice.
Trustiseasilylostandhardtoregain.Explainthatitwilltakealottoearnbackthetrustthey’velosttoday.Everytimesomethinggoesmissinginthecomingmonths,you’regoingtothinktheyhavetakenit.Whatifthisisn’tthefirsttime?Ifyourteenagerhasstolenthingsbefore,butyouhaven’twarnedthemoftheconsequences,itisprobablybesttotreatthisasthefirstincidenceofstealing.DealwithitasIhaveoutlinedabove,butwarnyourteenager,veryclearly,whattheconsequenceswillbenexttime.IfyourteenagereverstealssomethingagainIfyoudiscoveranitemthatyourteenagerhasstolen,thatwasn’tadmittedthefirsttimeyoucaughtthem,thenyouneedtotakemoredrasticstepstostopthemstealing.
1. YourteenagershouldreturntheitemandapologiseinpersonYourteenagershouldapologise,inperson,totheindividualorshoptheytookthingsfrom.Asthisisthesecondtimetheyhavestolensomething,yourteenagerhaschosentheseconsequences.Ifyoutrytoprotectyourteenager’sreputationtheymaycontinuetostealforyearstocome.Thisisaveryimportantstepifyouwantyourteenagertostop.
2. Yourteenagershouldaskhowtheycanmakeamends
Yourteenagershouldmakeamends–returnALLthemoneyandaskiftheycandoanythingelsetomakeup.
3. Yourteenagershoulddo30hoursofhouseworkwithyouInsistthatyourteenagerdoes30hours’houseworkalongsideyou.
4. YoushouldcallthePolice.Ifyoudodiscoveryourteenagerhasbeenstealingasecondtime,ringthepolice,andaskifacommunitysupportpoliceofficercancomeandspeaktoyourteenagertotrytopreventthemstealingagain.Explainthatthisisthesecondtimetheyhavestolensomething.Asktheofficertoexplaintoyourteenagerwhatwouldhappenifanyonedecidestopresschargesorwhatwouldhappeniftheywerecaughtstealingfromashop.Youknowyourteenagerbest.Someteenagersmayneedtogothroughtheprocessofbeingarrestedtorealisewhatcouldhappen.Thismayprovidethe‘shockfactor’youneedtostopyourteenagerstealinginthefuture.
Part2.ActuallyhavingtheconversationThissectioncontainsscriptstoadaptwhenyouconfrontyourteenageraboutstealingEverysituationwithateenagerstealingisdifferent.Youmayliketousethefollowingscriptsandadaptthemforusewithyourteenagerandthesituationyouaredealingwith.Manyparentsfinditusefultowritedowntheexactscripttheywanttousewiththeirteenager.Thewayyousaythings,andthewordsyouusecanhaveabigimpact.Chooseyourwordswisely,andpracticesayingthem,untilyoufeelconfidentthatyoucantalktoyourteenagerinafirm,constructiveway,andsaytherightwords,withoutlosingyourtemper.IfyouhaveevidenceLetyourteenagerknowitwillbeatrickyconversation
Iwanttotalktoyouaboutsomethingserious.Isnowagoodtime?
Statethefacts.Tentativelysuggestyourconclusion.Askyourteenagerwhattheythink.
‘£60hasgonemissingfrommypurse.’(fact.)‘Thismorning,Iwasmakingyourbed,andfound£60underthemattress.’(fact.)‘Itlooksasifyoutookthemoneyfrommypurse,andhiditunderyourmattress.’(Tentativeconclusion.)Isthatwhathappened?
Expectyourteenagertolie–ortrytogiveyouaplausibleexcuse.
Thatdoesn’tseemlikely.Haveathinkforamoment.Areyoubraveenoughtotellmewhatreallyhappened?Ifyouinsistthatistrue,Iwillwantanadulttoverifywhatyou’resaying.Haveathinkandletmeknowifthat’swhatyouwantmetodo.Iwon’tbecallingyourfriend.I’llwanttospeaktohis/hermum/dad.
Findoutifthey’vetakenanythingelseExplainwhattheconsequencesaretoday.Askyourteenagertolisten,whileyouexplainwhatwillhappeniftheyeverstealagain.
I’mgoingtotakethe£60back.Iwillalsoexpectyoutodo15hoursworkwithme,forfree,tomakeupfortheupsetanddistressyou’vecausedbystealing.Youhavebrokenmytrustinyou.Ifyoutellmeaboutanythingelseyou’vetakentoday,youwillstillonlyneedtodo15hoursofjobswithme.Ifyoustealanythinginthefuture,therewillbemoresevereconsequences.I’llexplainthatinaminute.However,Iwanttoaskyouaquestion.Pleasecanyoujustlistenforamoment?WaittillI’vefinishedthengivemeyouranswer.
Tellthemthatyouwanttoknowaboutanythingelsetheyhavetaken.
Inaminute,I’mgoingtoaskifyouhavestolenanythingelse.
Explainthebenefitoftellingyouabout Ifyoutellmeaboutanythingelsetoday,we’llincludeitinthe
anythingelsetheyhavestolen. 15hours,andIwon’tcallthepolice.Explainwhattheconsequenceswillbeifyoufindyourteenagerhasstolensomethinginthefuture.
IfIfindanythingelsethatyou’vestolen,inthefuture,Iwillassumeyouhavestolenitafterourconversationtoday.Nowisyourchancetocomeclean.Ifyoudostealanythingelsetheconsequenceswillbebigger.• You’llneedtoreturnanythingyoustealinpersonand
apologise.• I’llexpectyoutodo30hoursofhouseworkwithme.• Iwillalsogetthepoliceinvolved.
Explainwhattheconsequenceswillbetoday. Today,ifyoutellmeaboutsomethingyou’vealreadystolen,I’llexpectyoutoreturnit,orgivetheownerthereplacementcostinmoney.Youcantakethatoutofyoursavings,sellyourstufforyoucanearnit.Youcandojobsaroundthehouseat£xanhour.(Researchwhattheadultminimumwageis,andhalveit,tocalculatetheamountperhouryourteenagercanearn.)Youcandothatinperson,orwecansendtheitemormoneyanonymously.
Askthemiftheyhavestolenanythingelse. Now’sthetimetobehonest.Whatelsehaveyoustolen?(Iftheydenythey’vestolenbefore,presstheissue.)£60isalotofmoneytotakefirsttime.Themostcommonreactiontobeingcaughtistolieaboutit.However,sometimeswhenpeoplestarttakingthings,andaren’tcaughtstraightaway,itcanbecomeabitofahabit.Haveathink.
• Haveyoustolenanymoneybeforethis?• Haveyoutakenanythingfromsomeoneinthefamily,
afriendorsomeoneatschool?Haveyoutakenanythingfromashop?
• Haveyoupaidforanythingonline,withoutasking,usingmycreditcard?
Doyouwantabitoftimetothink?BecauseifIdiscoveranythingelse,I’mgoingtohavetotakeitmuchmoreseriously,andgetthepoliceinvolved.
Recognisethey’llhavebeenworriedaboutit Iknowthattakingthingswillhaveworriedyou.You’reagoodteenager.Youprobablyrealiseditwaswrong,butyoudidn’tknowhowtostopit.Todaywe’regoingtogetitsorted.ButIneedyoutobehonestwithmenow.
Wouldtheyfinditeasiertowriteitdown? Youmightfinditeasiertowriteitdown.I’mgoingtogiveyouasheetofpaperandapen.I’dlikeyoutogotothekitchenandwritedowneverythingyou’vetakenwithoutasking.I’llgiveyoutenminutes,thenI’llcomebackinandthenwe’llgothroughthelist.
Keepgoing. I’mgivingyouachancetoownupnow.Iknowthatyou’renotbad.We’llgetthissorted,butIwanttoknowifthere’sanythingelse.I’llbemuchmoredisappointedifyoudon’ttellmenowandIfindoutthingslater.Soareyoureadytotellmewhatelseyou’vetaken?
Tellthemthisistheirchancetocomeclean. Iknowyou’reupsetthatyou’vebeencaught.It’simportanttobetruthfulnow.
Idon’twanttofindoutlateronthatyou’vetakenotherstuffandhaven’ttoldmetoday.
Explaintheremaybemuchharsherconsequencesiftheydon’tadmittosomethingthey’vetaken,andyoufindoutaboutitlater.
Asaparent,Ineedtohelpyoutostoptakingthingsthatdon’tbelongtoyou.Stealingcanbeahardhabittobreak.TodayIwanttoknowabouteverythingyou’veevertaken.Ifyouevertakesomethingthatdoesn’tbelongtoyouagain,becauseIhaven’tmanagedtogetyoutostoptoday,Iwillinvolvethepolice.Ineedyoutoknowthatstealingisn’tacceptable.Ithastostopnow.Ifyoudon’tadmittotakingsomethingnow,andlateronIfindsomethingthatdoesn’tbelongtoyou,I’llhavetoassumethatyou’vetakenitsinceourconversationtoday.Andgetthepoliceinvolved.Idon’twanttoinvolvethepolicetoday,togiveyouachancetosortyourselfout.Howeverifyoutakeanythinginthefuture,itwouldmeanyoucan’tstopyourself.Andneedsomeoutsidehelp.I’dratherinvolvethepolicemyself,thanyoubearrestedforshoplifting.Nowisyourchancetocomecleanaboutanythingyou’vetaken.Whatelsedoyouwanttotellmeabout?
Don’tletthembenefitfromstealing.Ifyourteenagerconfessestostealinganythingelse,askthemtofetchtheitem,nametheamountofmoneythey’vestolen,oriftheynolongerhavetheitem,tosayhowmuchtheythinktheitemwasworth.Confiscateanyitemthathasbeenstolen.Removeanygamefromtheircomputerthatwasdownloadedwithoutpermission.
Canyougoandfetchthat?(Iftheyhaven’tstillgotit)–Howmuchwasitworth?
TalkaboutyourexpectationsTellthemwhatyouexpect Iexpectyoutoearnmoneyifyouwanttobuyanything
Iexpectyoutounderstandthattakingthingswithoutaskingiswrong.
Saythingsinaneutralway.Ifyoucriticise,blame,judgeandcallyourteenagerathief,theymaynotfeelsafeowningup.Insteadexplainthatyourealisetheymadeamistake,butoutlinetheconsequencesofstealing.Startsentenceswith‘Ifeel…’ratherthan‘you…’or‘youare….’
Takingthingswithoutpermissionwillcausepeopletoloserespectforyou,nottrustyouinthefutureandcouldgetyouintotroublewiththelaw.Iknowyou’reagoodteenager.Whatyoudidwasamistake,butit’samistakethatyoucan’taffordtorepeat.Ifeelreallyhurtanddisappointedthatyouchosetotakethingswithoutasking.
ExpectyourteenagertomakeamendsRecognisethatyourteenagerwouldprefertoprotecttheirreputation.Thefirsttimetheysteal,letthemjustreturn
Thistime,I’dlikeyoutomakeamendsbyreturningwhatyou’vestolenanddoing15hours’houseworkwithme.Nexttime,althoughit’shardtoconfesstomakingamistake,
theitemormoney.Butinsistthat,thesecondtime,apologisingtothevictimandmakingamendswillbeessential.
it’simportantthatwedealwithitinawaythatwillhelpyoutostop.Ifyoustealsomethingagain,you’llneedtoreturnwhatyou’vestolen,apologiseandaskhowthepersonwouldlikeyoutomakeupforthestealing.Plus,do30hours’housework.I’llalsocallthepolice.
Insisttheynotonlyrepaythemoneytheystole,butdo15hoursworktomakeupforthestressthey’vecaused.
Iamgoingtotakethe£60ANDIwillexpectyoutodo15hours’houseworkwithme.Afterthat,topaybackforthingsyou’vestolen,Iwantyoutodojobsaroundthehouseat£4anhour,untilyou’veearnedallthemoney.Here’salist–youcanchoosewhichonesyoustartwith.
Tellthemhowyouexpectthemtodothis. Iwillexpectyoutoworkatleastonehouraday(or30minutesadayfor30days)-that’s15hoursthatyou’llworkforfree.We’lluseatimersoyou’llknowwhenthetimeisupeachday.
Tellthemhowtheycanearnmoneyinfuture Afteryouhavepaideverythingback,ifyouwantmoney,youcancarryonearningat£4anhourtopayforthethingsyouwant.
Explainyoulovethem,butcannolongertrustthem.Theywillneedtoearnyourtrust.
Istillloveyouverymuch.I’msadthatyoutookmoneywithoutasking.Itisgoingtotakeawhileformetotrustyouagain.ButIknowyou’lllearnfromthis.
Ifyoucan,findoutwhythey’vebeenstealingIfyoucan,trytogettothebottomofwhytheystole.
‘Iknowyouknowitwasthewrongthingtodo.Canyoutellmewhyyoutookthemoney?Usuallywhenteenager’sstealfromsomeonetheylovethey’refeelingbadaboutsomething.Isthereanyreasonthatyoucanthinkof?
Beunderstanding Thankyoufortellingmethat.It’soktofeelfedup/jealous/annoyed.Lateronwe’llsitdownandseeifwecansortouthowtodealwiththat.
Whatifyoufoundawholestashofthingsthathavebeenstolen?Don’task‘didyoutakex?’andcatchthemoutinalie.Instead• Explainthefacts.• Tellyourteenagerwhatyouconcluded.• Askforanexplanation.
Ihavenoticedthatrecently,thingsaroundthehousehavebeengoingmissing.(fact)Ihavebeenworriedthatsomeonehasbeenstealingthings.WhenIwasinyourroomIdecidedtocheckinthetopofyourwardrobeandfoundthese.Yoursister’siPod,awholelotofmoney,atiepinofyourDad’sandacoupleofDVD’sthatI’veneverseenbefore.(fact)Ibelieveyoumayhavetakenthem.(Tentativeconclusion)Pleasecouldyouexplainwhythey’rethere?
Reassurethemyouwillhelpthembreakthestealinghabit.
Iknowyouknowthatitwaswrongtotakethemwithoutasking.Youmusthavebeenfeelingbadaboutit,eventhoughyoumusthavejustifiedittoyourself.Nowit’soutintheopen,Irealisethattakingthingshasbecomeabitofahabit.I’mgoingtohelpmakesureitstopstoday.
SeeiftheycanidentifywithhowitfeelsHowwouldtheyfeelifsomeonestolefromthem?
Imagineyou’vejustdiscoveredthatallthemoneyinyourpurseormoneyjarhadbeenstolen.Howwouldyoufeel?
Whatwouldyouwanttosaytothepersonwhohadstolenfromyou?
Whatifyourteenagerhasbeenshoplifting?Explainthefacts,Tellyourteenagerwhatyouthinkmayhavehappened.Askfortheirexplanation.
Sam,IfoundthisPlayStationgameinyourwardrobe.(Fact)Irememberyouwerelookingatthisgameintheshopearliertoday.ButIdidn’tseeyoupayforitatthecheckout.(Fact)I’mwonderingifyoutookitwithoutpayingforit?(Tentativeconclusion)Couldyouexplainwhyit’sthere?
Ifyourteenagerhasstolenit,letthemknowthey’llneedtoreturnittotheshoporpayforit.
Sam,thatisshoplifting.Weneedtotalkabouthowyou’regoingtoreturnit.Youcaneithertakeitback,explaintotheshopwhatyoudidandapologise,oryoucanwriteanoteandpostitbacktotheshop.Whatwouldyouprefertodo?Youwillalsoneedtodo15hoursofworkwithme,tomakeupforyourlackofgoodjudgement.Ifyouevertakesomethingfromashop,orfromanyoneelseinthefuture,youwillneedtoreturnitandapologiseinperson.Iftheshopkeeperdecidestoprosecuteyouforshoplifting,thatwillbeyou’retheriskyou’lltake.Youwillalsoneedtodo30hours’housework,withme,tomakeupforthestressitwillcause.However,I’mhopingthatthiswillstoptoday,andyouwon’tstealagain.
Ifyoueverfindthatyourteenagerhastakensomethingfromashopasecondtime,planhowandwhentoreturnwiththemtotheshop.
Sam,asthisisthesecondtimeyou’vetakensomethingfromashop,I’mgoingtocomewithyousoyoucanreturnitandapologise.Ididexplaintherewillbeotherconsequences.1. I’dlikeyoutodo30hoursofjobstomakeupforyourlack
ofjudgement.2. I’llcomewithyoutotakeitbacktotheshop.
Youmayliketocallanonymouslyandasktotalktothemanager.Explainwhathashappened.Askwhatwillhappenwhenyoubringyourteenagertoreturnthestolenitem.Ifthepolicyoftheshopistoprosecutefirsttimeoffenders,atleastyouwillknow.It’suptoyouifyouwanttoavoidyourteenagerbeingprosecuted.Agreeatimewhenyou’llbringyourteenagerin.Askthemanagertotalktoyourteenagerabouttheseriousnessofstealing,andaboutthecostofshopliftingtothemasaretailer.
3. ‘Whenwegobacktotheshop,youmayhearsomethingsyoudon’tlike.Youneedtolistentotheshop-owner,andacknowledgewhattheysay.It’simportanttoapologise.TheshopkeepermaynotbeasunderstandingasIam.’
4. Attheagreedtime,takeyourteenagerintoseethemanagertoreturnanyitemthey’vetakenorpayfortheitem.
5. Aftertheyhavereturnedtheitemtotheshop,tellyourteenager:‘I’mpleasedthatyoutookresponsibilityforwhatyoudid.Ihopeyouwon’tevermakethesamemistakeagain.Makesureyoutellyourteenager:IstillloveyouandIforgiveyouThematterisnowover.’
JobsyourteenagercandotomakeamendsItisimperativethatyourteenagerpaysbackeverypennyofthemoneythattheystole,ortheequivalentvalueofitemstheystole.Workoutwhatjobsyourteenagercando,andofferthemthegoingrateofpayforateenager.Youcanalsoagreeasetratewithneighboursandfamilyforjobsyourteenagercando.(Theydon’thavetoknowwherethemoneyisgoing-yourteenagerwillwanttopreservetheirreputationasagoodteenager.Andyoudon’tneedtoaffectthat-unlessyourteenagerhasstolenanythingfromthem!)Thesejobsareinadditiontokeepingtheirbedroomscleanandtidy–Andclearinguptheirmess.Thatisjustexpected!Hereisalistofjobstogetyoustarted:Jobsteenagerscando:CleardownstairsroomsDustVacuumPolishsilver/orbrassSortbooksandmagazinesChangesheets/bedlinenEmptywastebasketsTakeoutbinsCleartableWeedthegardenRakeleavesMowthelawnWaterflowerbedsWaterindoorplantsUnloadandloadthedishwasherWashthedishesSortlaundrySweepfloorsSetandcleartablePutawaygroceries
HelpmakedinnerWashtableandside-countersaftermealsWashwallsWashskirtingboardsandwhite-paintedwoodworkWash,dryandfoldlaundryandputclothesawayIronclothesSewbuttonsMendclothesMakebreakfastPeelvegetablesCooksimplemealsforthewholefamilyMopfloorTakeapetforawalkCleanpetarea/CareforpetsCleanbathroomWashwindowsWashcarBabysityoungersiblingsBabysitforfriendsorrelatives(ifoldenough)CleankitchenCleanoven
Jobsyourteenagercoulddoalongsideyoufor15hoursSortoutthegarageSpringcleanthehouseSortouttheloftHoldatabletopsaleforunwanteditemsCleardownstairsroomsDustVacuumMakebedsCleartableWeedthegardenRakeleavesUnloadandloadthedishwasher
WashthedishesSortlaundrySetandcleartablePutawaygroceriesHelpprepareandcookmealsWashtableandside-countersaftermealsWashwallsWashskirtingboardsandwhite-paintedwoodworkWash,dryandfoldlaundryandputclothesawayMendclothesMakebreakfastPeelvegetables
TakeapetforawalkCleanpetarea/CareforpetsCleanbathroom
WashwindowsWashcarCleankitchen
FurtherHelpandSupportTherearesomeveryeffectivetechniquesoutlinedinthisguidetohelpyoutostopyourteenagerfromstealing.Youmayfindthatthisguidealoneissufficient.However,sometimesthestealingmayhavebuiltupoveralongtime,andcanbedifficulttoresolve.Ifyoudoyourbesttoputintopracticethetechniquesoutlinedinthisguide,buttheydon’tsolvetheproblem,youmayneedadditionalhelp.Manyparentswhostruggletostoptheirteenagerstealing,finditusefultocallmeanddiscusssolutionswithaparentingspecialist.Inmyhour-long‘FixitFriday’Session,we’lldiscussyoursituationandI’lltalkyouthroughanactionplantohelpyousolveit.Tobookyour‘FixitFriday’Session,pleaseclickhereandselecta60-minutesessionatatimetosuityou.Orusethefollowinglink:http://parent4success.com/fix-it-friday-booking/
