Conflict Management Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D.. University Studies.
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Transcript of Conflict Management Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D.. University Studies.
Conflict Management
Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D..
University Studies
Conflict
What is it?
Conflict
Why do we do it?
Conflict
Why do we care?
Goals for Today Understand the nature of conflict in
human relationships Identify ways that conflict can be positive
or negative Examine a framework for analyzing
conflict situations Analyze a personal conflict
What we know….
Conflict is a naturally occurring phenomenon for human beings
People do not get involved in conflict situations unless they have some stake in the relationship or outcome or both
What we know….
One can never truly resolve conflict, one can only manage conflict
The costs of unmanaged conflict can be high, but the gains from using differences creatively can also be great
Conflict can either be productive or dysfunctional
First Trick for Conflict Management
Know Yourself
What feelings do you have when you are in
conflict situation?
Common Feelings Associated with Conflict
Anger
Frustration
Fear
Excitement
Common Actions Associated with Conflict
Fight Flight
Your History with Conflict
How was conflict perceived in your family/community?
How did your family/community deal with conflict?
You can decide...
Understanding the impact of your family and community on your ideas about conflict can allow you to make decisions about how you deal with conflict now
We are our history We make our history
What is your conflict style?
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3 5
1 2
4
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3 5
1--Turtle 2
4
Turtle--Withdrawing
Avoid conflict as all costs Give up their personal goals &
relationships Believe it is hopeless to try to resolve
conflict Feel helpless Easier to withdraw than face conflict
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3 5
1 2--Shark
4
Shark--Forcing Try to overpower opponents by forcing them
to accept their solutions Not concerned with needs of others Do not care about how others perceive them Believe in winning and losing Winning gives them a sense of pride Try to win by attacking, overwhelming, &
intimidating others
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3--Teddy Bear 5
1 2
4
Teddy Bear--Smoothing
Relationships most important, goals of little importance
Want to be accepted and liked by other people
Believe conflict should be avoided in favor of harmony
Fearful that conflict will hurt someone
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3 5
1 2
4--Fox
Fox--Compromising
Moderately concerned with relationships and goals
Willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find agreement for the common good
Conflict StylesRELATIONSHIP
High Importance
Low ImportanceHighImportance
GOALS
3 5--Owl
1 2
4
Owl--Confronting
Value their own goals and relationships View conflicts as problems to be solved See conflicts as improving relationships
by reducing tension Seek solutions that satisfy both parties Not satisfied until solution is found and
tension is reduced
Which style is better?
Some styles are more useful than others
when...
Uses of the “Turtle”
When issue is trivial When potential damage of confrontation
outweighs the benefits To let people cool down & reduce tension When gathering information When others can resolve the conflict
more effectively
Uses of the “Shark”
When quick, decisive action is vital On important issues where unpopular
actions need to be implemented To protect yourself against people who
take advantage of noncompetitive behavior
Uses of “Teddy Bear”
When you realize you are wrong To learn from others When issue is more important to the
other person than to yourself As a goodwill gesture to maintain
cooperative relationship To allow others to experiment
Uses of “Fox”
When goals are important, but not worth the effort or disruption
When opponents with equal power are strongly committed
To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues
Uses of “Owl”
To find an integrative solution when both sides are too important to compromise
When your objective is to learn To work through hard feelings which
have been interfering with a relationship
Second Trick for Conflict Management
Understand Process of Conflict
Expectations (explicit)
Anticipation (implicit)Experience Unfulfilled
Expectations
Resentments Build
Gather evidence for a case
Give up
intervene
Why & how do we get in conflict situations?
The issues The facts: present situation, problems The goals: how things ought to be, the future
conditions sought The methods: the best, the easiest, the quickest,
the most ethical The values: the beliefs about priorities that
should be observed in choosing goals & methods The history: what has gone on before
Components of a Conflict Situation
Frustration--when you feel blocked. Conceptualization of problem-- “What’s
going on?” Conceptualization of behaviors &
intentions-- “What does that mean?” Outcome--emotional, cognitive,
behavioral
Types of Conflict
Positive Dysfunctional
Productive Unproductive
Depersonalized Personalized
Focused on Issues Focused on Feelings
Cooperative Competitive
What can we do???How do we intervene???
Accept that you will have conflict Work toward having positive vs.
dysfunctional conflict Use conflict management skills
– De-escalation
– “I”- Messages
Indicators of Escalation
Competition Righteousness Not Listening Spreading to new
issues
Dealing in personalities
Threats Intentional Hurt Violating Social
Rules
Indicators of De-escalation
Listening. Trying to understand.
Showing Tact. Concern for other’s feelings.
Goodwill gestures.
Appeals to De-escalate.
Airing feelings. Finding
alternatives.
“I”-Messages
Describe: Behavior Feelings Consequence
Beware of war words!!
Analyzing a Conflict Situation
Conflict was between________ It centered around_________ I wanted___________ and felt frustrated because __________ In my view, the key issue was _______ The other person probably thought the
key issue was ___________
Analyzing a Conflict Situation
Predominant conflict style I used_____ Escalation behaviors I used________ De-escalation behaviors I used______ Major outcomes_____________ Differences over: facts, goals, methods,
values, history___________ What would I do differently next time?
Small Group Break into small groups Take 7 minutes to fill out sheet. Write about
problem that you are willing to share with group. (Could be something that has happened in your group!)
Share worksheet with group Get feedback about possible alternative ways of
viewing and/or handling conflict Discuss common themes
Large Class
Each group share their common themes Questions, comments