Community Links Issue 197

D e c e m b e r 3 0 - J a n u a r y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 V o l . 8 I s s u e 1 9 7 c”ga, hjhu - adhu

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THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published bi-weekly and is distributed free tothe Jewish Community of SouthernCalifornia.

THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts noresponsibility for typographicalerrors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may beshortened and/or edited for lengthand clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express theviews of the individual writers andmay not necessarily represent theviews of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without thewritten permission of the publisher.

FeaturesDecember 30, 2011

Squeeze PlayThe judge looked sternly atthe ball player. He was stunned at themere suggestion. "Mr. Dugan," heexclaimed, "You will do no suchthing. Either we will score our runshonorably or not at all!"

Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky

Getting Past The WhateverAttitude

To me, nothing captures the spirit ofthe times like this ubiquitous what-everness. We are a Whatever Gener-ation who lives by the motto of "liveand let live."

Chana Weisberg

The Girl In The SkirtI had never been so nervousto start a job before, but then again,this time was different. Unlike everyother first day of work I had everhad, this time I was wearing a skirt.

Rucheli Manville

Our Children Deserve Better

Raising awareness of the needs ofour children is crucial. Setting highstandards and goals will be an im-portant first step to greater accom-plishments.

Dr. Robert Rome

COMMUNITY LINKS • Volume 8 Issue 197

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Few articles that I have written have triggered the kind ofresponse as my last article in Community Links focusing onprotecting our children and their needs. I received phone callsand emails. Some readers have actually stopped me on thestreet or at synagogue. Comments have been varied, but manyhave described how they and their children have experiencedmany of the problems I noted. They welcomed continueddiscussion regarding school and teacher standards and otherpoints raised in the article.

There were also calls pointing out issues that were not dis-cussed in my article. I would like to take this opportunity tofeature some of the concerns raised in the comments thatwere received. Among the issues in the comments that werereceived:

No one polices websites. Be careful when on the Internet!My article noted an Internet site which lists sex offenders inthe community. While the site described does indeed list somewho have been convicted of offenses against children, the sitealso lists individuals who have never even been accused of acrime by the police, let alone convicted. A single student whomay be mad at a teacher may lodge an unfounded charge toget even. The site I had mentioned does not differentiate be-tween a student accusation and a conviction in court. Such asite can destroy the reputation of a Rabbi or other teacher onthe basis of only an unfounded accusation by an upset student.Indeed, in a least one case, the website has kept the name ofa Rabbi on the list where the police have reviewed the accusa-tions and found that there was no basis for any charges. Whilethere are numerous offenses committed against children, wemust protect those working with children against false accu-

sations. The internet can be a useful resource much of thetime. But the internet also has the power to destroy. Be care-ful. Don’t judge anyone only by what you read on the Inter-net.

Our schools maintain accreditation. A woman who hasserved as Principal of two separate schools wrote to point outthat virtually all of our day schools and yeshivas voluntarilyachieve accreditation from the Western Association of Schoolsand Colleges. Some even voluntarily achieve accreditationfrom other recognized, higher accrediting agencies. Ourschools set standards and work hard to achieve those stan-dards. I think this Principal’s comments are important so wecan see the schools in properly a more favorable light. I re-main concerned, however, that the standards actually set by

our schools are too low. Why should we have state-creden-tialed teachers only for secular studies? Don’t we see the im-portance of Jewish studies? We are creating the Jewish leadersof tomorrow. Experienced, qualified, and talented teachersare needed to accomplish this. And should we not demandthat administrators of our schools are also appropriatelytrained? Many of the concerns in our Jewish schools relateto disciplinary issues and other learning problems, problemswhich can be addressed and in many cases resolved throughproper learning plans and know-how shown by our Jewish ed-ucators and administrators. We require trained educators whounderstand how to include children with special concerns inthe classroom. Kudos to our schools for successfully achiev-ing accreditation. But let’s enter a broader discussion aboutfuture goals in Jewish education. We can do better.

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D

Some Real Concerns About Protecting Our Children:A Community Discussion About Jewish Education


Money is key! One reader wrote thatmore could be accomplished in ourschools if our educators did not haveto spend so much time and effort rais-ing money. The annual dinner ofschools may take a half year or moreof the time of the School Head to or-ganize and fundraise. With so mucheffort in fundraising, and so little fundsto run the schools, it becomes hard towork on educational goals. There is aninteresting article in this month’s OU(Orthodox Union) magazine on solv-ing the financial crises in our Jewishschools. That article suggests that weturn more and more toward public re-sources for our schools. We need torally as a community for unity in sup-port of our schools. In most states inthe U.S., Jewish schools get supportfrom the state and local school dis-tricts. In New York, transportation isprovided to yeshivas by publiclyfunded school buses. In New Jersey,special education and resource assis-tance are provided in the Jewishschools by the school districts. Vouch-ers are provided in Milwaukee to helpfund tuition for children and familiesin need. Other states provide text-books and library resources to Jewishschools. In California, the Board ofthe Jewish Federation in Los Angelesactually voted to oppose a ballotproposition that would have providedvouchers to needy families to pay fortuition for Jewish schools. By workingagainst the larger community interest,our schools lost millions of dollars thatare desperately needed. We need eitherto work with the community leader-ship to change their direction, or weneed to remove the community “lead-ership.” Either Jewish education mat-ters or it does not matter. We need tounite against those opposed to better-ing our Jewish schools in the guise ofsupporting our public schools. I re-main hopeful that a community-widediscussion of how to bring the bestand most resources to our schools can

yield positive results.

We have lost important resources. Inthe last article, I had noted that theL.A. Unified School District had pro-vided psychoeducational testing onsiteat our Jewish schools for students sus-pected of learning needs. Unfortu-nately, one of the educators in thecommunity pointed out that theSchool District stopped providing thisservice this year. This is a shame. Itcosts no more to test a student onsitein the Jewish day school than at thepublic school site. It basically involvesthe same amount of time for a schoolpsychologist to test in either location.Unfortunately, as many students andparents feel uncomfortable within thepublic school setting, there are thosewho need evaluations who will gowithout. Furthermore, the publishedstandards for testing of our childrenactually call for the evaluation of chil-dren within their natural environment.Testing in the actual school of thechild, the Jewish school, is the mostvalid setting for the best results. Weneed community leaders to renegotiatewith the School District this importantservice to our community. We canhope.

Raising awareness of the needs ofour children is crucial. Setting highstandards and goals will be an impor-tant first step to greater accomplish-ments. And we need to provide ourchildren with a safe and protected en-vironment, free from danger andabuse.

I am honored to be part of this im-portant discussion. I greatly appreciatethe extent of community interest inour children and in Jewish education.Keep the comments coming…

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Aparent turns to her teenagedson and asks, "What's both-ering you?" "Whatever," an-

swers the kid with a disconsolateshrug.

A husband enquires of his wife,"Did I do something to upset you? Issomething wrong?" Her disappointedface grimaces, "Whatever…"

A father questions his daughter,"Have you finished your homework?Did you study for your test?" Thedaughter turns up the volume on her

head-phones and mutters, "What-ever."

Overheard in conversation: Whatshould we do about the terrorism?About the starving children in Africa?About global warming? "Whatever."

To me, nothing captures the spiritof the times like this ubiquitous what-everness. We are a Whatever Genera-tion who lives by the motto of "liveand let live"; our first commandmentis "Thou shalt be open-minded toother people's morals," or, alterna-tively, their desire to be lacking inmorals. Our openness is lauded as tol-erance, but to me it smells more likeapathy.

I've noticed that when I ask my chil-dren what they want for dinner, I'llnever hear "Whatever"; I'll be veryspecifically informed which foodsthey like and dislike, and how theyprefer it to be cooked. But as soon assomething beyond our most immedi-ate needs is at stake, it becomes too

much of an exertion to express a pas-sionate stand, to formulate a well-rea-soned opinion, or to intervene withpractical assistance. So we suffice with"Whatever."

The whatever mindset has seepedinto every facet of our society—intopolitics, into our schools, the work-place, our relationships, even how wedress. Youngsters and adults wearfrayed cuffs, torn jeans, underclothingpeeking out or pants almost fallingoff. Anything that screams "What-

ever" (ironically, we'll spend manyhours and dollars to achieve this lookof casual indifference.)

"Whatever" means I don't reallythink that you sincerely care. Even ifyou are concerned enough to ask, Idon't think that you'll put forth thenecessary effort to change the situa-tion or help me improve my circum-stances. So, let's be honest: if youdon't really care about this and I cer-tainly don't, then why are we evenbothering to discuss it?

So the teenager sulks silently and ex-plores all kinds of harmful pursuits inorder to forget his misery. The couplejoins 50% of the married populationin divorce court because they couldn'tbe burdened with the extensive effortnecessary to work through their con-flicts. And our children continue tofeel that their education is irrelevant.

I'm not sure how this whatevernessbecame so ingrained in our society.

Perhaps it began as true tolerance forthe practices of others. Maybe themedia bombardment of atrocities andcalamities—natural or man-caused—created within us this defense mecha-nism to counteract feelings ofabsolute helplessness in the face of somuch tragedy. Or maybe it happenedwith the fast-paced speed of techno-logical advancement: with the wholeworld our village, we sense ourselvesto be insignificant in the grandscheme of things.

Regardless of its causes, this causticapathy needs to be counteracted fromthe roots upward, beginning with theearliest and most formative years ofour children's lives.

We must impart two basic values toour children, values that Judaism hasbeen espousing from time immemo-rial:

The Torah teaches us that whenG‑d created the first human being,Adam, He created him as a single in-dividual (unlike every other plant oranimal species). The reason, explainour sages, is that G‑d wished to teachus, for all perpetuity, the importanceof every human being; that every per-son is indeed an entire world.

On the other hand, mankind wascreated last of all creations, on thesixth day of creation. Our sages ex-plain that this was to teach us respon-sibility to our world. If a human beingacts with morals and ideals, acknowl-

Getting Past the Whatever AttitudeBy Chana Weisberg


edging his responsibility for the rest of creation, he is higherthan all creatures. If, however, man shuns his responsibility,he has sunk lower than even the smallest insect crawling onthe earth.

Our challenge is to inculcate our children with these essen-tial, foundational beliefs:

You matter. You are important. You are a being with infi-nite potential. You are a whole world, and you can make animpact. Respect yourself. Respect who you can be. And actin accordance.

As great as you are, your greatness is only reflected in re-alizing that there are things greater than you that are worthsacrificing for: values and morals, community and family.Your personal happiness is not an end to itself, but you mustfeel a sense of responsibility for your world.

These simple but fundamental values are what distinguishus as human beings. They are essential for us to believe andfor our children to trust.

Because there is just too much at stake for us to abandonour children to the cruelties of an irreverent and irrelevantwhatever world. •

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Revenge. Though the Torahwarns us against acting onour emotions, it's hard to

control the desire. In fact, a dogma ofmodern society preaches to us not toget mad, rather to get even.

But Yoseph discloses his real iden-tity in this week's portion, and despitea 22-year backdrop filled with excusesfor anger, revenge, and retribution, hestays calm and fulfilled. Surely, weshould expect to find harsh words ofcriticism if not acts of payback. Butwe don't. After Yoseph reveals hisidentity, and the brothers are shocked,rather than chastising his brothers,Yoseph appeases them! "Come close tome if you please, and they came close." Andhe said, "I am Joseph your brother -- it isme whom you sold into Egypt. And now, benot distressed, nor reproach yourselves forhaving sold me here, for it was to be aprovider that G-d sent me ahead ofyou“(Genesis 45:4-5). He explains tothem that the entire scenario was noteven their doing but part of a Divineplan to contend with the world-hunger. "Thus Hashem has sent me aheadof you to insure your survival in the land andto sustain you for a momentous deliverance.And now -- it was not you who sent me here,but G-d; He has made me father to Pharaoh,master of his entire household, and rulerthroughout the entire land of Egypt” (ibidv6-7). What type of man has the ca-pacity not only to ignore horrible in-justice totally, but to revel in it, sayingthat it was all meant to be, without theslightest display of bitterness or ani-mosity? It takes an unique attitudeabout life.

Joel Mandel and Julius Rosenzweighave a large electrical supply housein Long Island City, NY. Their vastwarehouse occupies over a million

cubic feet of space containing thou-sands of different electrical compo-nents, from transformers as large asthe average-size garage to tiny cath-odes that could dance on the head ofa pin.

It was a couple of years ago whensome electrical doo-dad, that seemedto be a vital organ of one of my chil-dren's battery-operated what-nots,went on the blink. With zero electricalknow-how, I decided to bring thecomponent to my friends at GlobeElectrical Supply and maybe theycould find me a replacement.

Weaving my way through a labyrinthof shelves, boxes, and drawers, Iclimbed some metal steps and mademy way to the old office that appearedout of a 1950s Hollywood set. An oldwooden desk was the pedestal for adusty computer that probably strainedharder than their human principals tomaintain the vast inventory. I showedthe part to Joel, who looked at the tinypart and smiled. He called over one ofthe workers, "Warren," he said,

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"please get the rabbi a…" I couldn't make out the exactname, but it sounded like flux-capacitator, though Ihighly doubt that my kid's toy was dying for lack of alack of a flux-capacitator!

Like a Tomahawk missile directed toward a predes-tined mark, Warren took the injured electrical compo-nent, weaved through the myriad rooms, the barrage ofboxes, and an almost unlimited array of electrical para-phernalia.

Homing in on the exact location, Warren scaled a lad-der that looked as if it could have been used to wash thewindows of a Manhattan skyscraper, and about 30 feetoff the ground, with amazing agility and precise guid-ance, he reached for his target -- a small cardboard box.Its edges were yellowed with age, but I knew it had notbeen touched in five years. He placed his hand into thebox and plucked out a component, which exactlymatched my broken one.

As if he had rehearsed this scene from the day hestarted working, he held the component between histhumb and forefinger, then smiled, opened the humanvise, letting the piece drop into my palm. "Here's thesucker!"

Stunned at both the accuracy and speed of the re-trieval, I reacted as if I had just seen a minor miracle."Warren!" I exclaimed, "how'd you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked with a shrug.

"Do what?" I repeated with an air of incredulity. "Youjust found a microscopic part hidden like a needle in allthe hay in Kansas! And you knew exactly where it was."

Warren just shrugged. "I didn't do nothin' special.That's my job!"

When a person understands his mission, no portionof its fulfillment merits undue emotion. In Pirkei Avos,2:9 Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai tells us, "If you havelearned much Torah, do not pride yourself in it, for thisis the purpose for which you were created." If a personthinks "that's my job" about his every good deed, if hismission is clearly mapped in front of him, then all ob-stacles become insignificant pittances, easily overcomeand able to be ignored because after all, they are in factall in a day's work.

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzkywww.torah.org

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“Rabbi.”

“Yes.”

“I know who you are,” said the voice, “I can tell whereyou are exactly.”

“Tell me where I am” I said.

“You are in your car in front of your home.”

Quite startled I answered, “I believe you are right.”

The voice continued. “I can tell you where you are atall times. If you need help I can help you. Imagine, ifyou get lost I will help you find directions. Even if youbecome unable to reach for help I will do it for you.”

Now, being a bit of a skeptic, I asked “Can you reallyhelp me find a kosher restaurant? I need one now,” I said.

“Sure,” came the answer. In less than 30 seconds thevoice said “There is a kosher restaurant in the vicinity andI will help you get there.”

I thought I had finally arrived. God Almighty is speak-ing to me. I have reached new spiritual heights. I asked,and God answered, so I thought.

But, lo and behold, to my great surprise, it wasn’t Godnor my guardian angel, it was my new General Motors fac-

tory installed On-Star pro-gram speaking. It comesfree with a new car pur-chase and is activated by theowner when learning howto use the car.

I thought God was withme at all times and places.But instead of God beingmy co-pilot On-Star hadkicked in. I always felt thatif I got lost or was in an ac-cident I would pray and callto God for help. But nowI am told that it is not nec-essary as On-Star will al-ways be with me. If anaccident happens On-Starwill automatically contactthe Police, Fire Depart-ment, or Paramedics.

I soon became aware thatthe GM Company will contact me by E-mail and let meknow how my car is feeling. It will let me know when Ineed an oil change, air in my tires, or other incidentals. Itcan also tell me how many miles I have driven and offerme a gas allowance.

Oh, how great technology is, I thought.

Jokingly I asked the On-Star operator, the person be-hind the voice, if On-Star could also tell me my spiritualcondition? Does it let me know how things are going, likedo I need more good deeds or spirit in my religious prac-tice? She took my remarks in good taste and concludedthe conversation.

Still sitting in my car I contemplated what had hap-pened. I thought how wonderful it would be if therewould indeed be a spiritual On-Star giving us directionswhen we are spiritually off base, calling us in case ofemergencies to remember God and prayer. It may be thatOn-Star is onto something, reminding us that the star ofthe show is truly God. Guaranteed 24/7 / 365.

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Yaakov had passed from this world. His twelvesons were left alone in a foreign world, and it wastime for reconciliation. The brothers were afraid

that with Yaakov's passing Yoseph would avenge them forselling him to Egypt. So they sent the sons of Yaakov'sconcubine Bilhah, with a message. "Your father commandedbefore his death saying, 'Thus shall you tell Yoseph, please, kindlyforgive your brothers terrible deed and their sin for they have doneyou evil." Yoseph assures them that he has no intent forretribution. In fact, he promises to sustain the brothersand their families.

The Talmud in Yevamos tells us that Yaakov would nothave suspected Yoseph to be vengeful and he never issuedthe stated command. The Talmud extrapolates from thisincident that one may twist the truth for the sake of peaceand harmony. Yet it seems that there was a bit more thantwisting truth. It sems that there was an overt lie. And whywould they use Yaakov's name in this untruth? If he didnot suspect Yoseph as Rashi explains, then weren't theyinsulting him by saying, "your father commanded"? The 1929Boston Braves were owned by Judge Emil E. Fuchs. JudgeFuchs cared basically for the financial management andlegal affairs of the team, but the depressed economy andhis unwillingness to put up with the difficult and expensiveRoger Hornsby, left the team without a manager.

Judge Fuchs, an experienced adjudicator, read the rule-book and surrounded himself with a few cronies whowould help him guide the team. Then he literally broughthis swivel chair into the dugout and began to manage theteam.

It was late in the summer of that dismal season, and theteam had just been on a losing streak. Miraculously, how-ever, it seemed that the down streak was about to end.The game was tied in the bottom of the ninth and thebases were loaded. The Braves were batting and JudgeFuchs gave the orders to swing away.

After one strike, the batter, Joe Dugan, called time andapproached his well-respected manager. "Judge," theplayer suggested, "the rookie at third base is playing wellbehind the bag. If I drop a bunt, we'll squeeze in the win-ning run!"

The judge looked sternly at the ball player. He wasstunned at the mere suggestion. "Mr. Dugan," he ex-claimed, "You will do no such thing. Either we will scoreour runs honorably or not at all!"

The Sha'ar Bas Rabim explains that though Yaakov

never explicitly gave the command to lie, he did issue agame plan for the future. Before he blessed the brothers,he gathered them together with the words, "gather yourselvestogether," (Genesis 49:1-2). The charge for the future wasunity, and whatever it took to achieve unity amongst thebrothers was the core of Yaakov's wishes. The brothersunderstood how to play the game of life and how theirfather Yaakov would have wanted it. Peace and harmonywere the only ultimate goal. That is what all parents wantfor their children and that is what the objective of thetwelve brothers was. It took a squeeze play, but harmonywas achieved. Had Yaakov been alive to manage the situ-ation he may have also chosen the exact game plan.Yaakov, with the guidance of his mother and a skillful de-ception, had his father give him the blessings that were in-tended for Esav.

My grandfather, Reb Yaakov Kamenetzky, of blessedmemory, once told me that attaining the highest level ofany attribute required knowing when to violate it! And tothat end, Avraham the stalwart of kindness and compas-sion, was ready to sacrifice his own son at God's com-mand, surely an act of seeming brutality. Yaakov, whosevirtue is truth, knew when it was proper to mislead. AndYaakov's sons who understood the virtue of Yaakov'struth, also understood his quest for peace. They learned,very well, that though sometimes it is time to swing away,this was the time to drop a gentle bunt.

Squeeze PlayPARSHAS VAYECHI


My heart was racing… I had neverbeen so nervous to start a job before,but then again, this time was differ-ent. Unlike every other first day ofwork I had ever had, this time I waswearing a skirt.

It's interesting how much of a dif-ference a piece of clothing can make.In a world that blatantlyjudges you based on whatyou look like, and a societythat makes it all but impos-sible to change first impres-sions, what you wear is asure-fire way to make a state-ment. I had already accom-plished that by wearing askirt-suit to the interview.After all, what woman doesthat these days? Every girlwho wants to go places in afield dominated by menknows well enough to dresslike a power-house, and thatmeans a pants-suit that says,"I can hang with the bigboys." Maybe they justthought I was behind thetimes or thoroughly over-dressed? In either case, skirt-suits to an interview are onething...wearing a skirt to yourfirst day of work at a manufacturingand assembly facility falls under anentirely new category.

I scanned my ID and walkedthrough the double-doors out ontothe factory floor. I could feel thestares coming my way. A girl settingfoot on the factory floor was a some-what uncommon occurrence to beginwith. Now add in the fact that I waswearing a black pencil skirt instead ofthe customary slacks or even morestandard jeans, and the blue-collared

workers nearest to the door seemedto be in downright shock. I could al-ready tell that this was going to be aninteresting day.

Telling myself to stop being so self-conscious, I walked into the office togreet my new boss. "Good morning,Mark! How are you?" I internally

breathed a sigh of relief at not lettingmy nervousness come across in mygreeting. "Living the dream!" was theanswer. Another sigh of relief; a bossin such a great mood would make thisday much, much easier. Yet eventhough Mark seemed to be impressedby my timeliness (eight minutes early),he joined the masses in giving mywardrobe choice a once-over.

"I'm glad you've decided to take ourwork here very seriously, but you canreally come to work in more casual

clothing," he stated, pointing out hisown slacks and polo. "Everyone heredresses a little more relaxed. Polosand slacks are fine, and since you'll beon the manufacturing floor most ofthe time, I have no problem with youwearing jeans if you'd like." This wasthe conversation I had been waitingfor… How could I tell my boss that I

don't wear pants withoutsounding like a freak of na-ture? Without finding an easyway around it, I decided to gofor the straight shot. "Umm,well, I don't really wear pants,Mark. Just skirts really." Isounded so awkward.

I had known that this con-versation was coming, and Ihad asked my Rabbi about itahead of time. What should Isay? I had just made the life-al-tering decision to throw outthe last pair or two of myjeans, an action that is almostdevastating to a 22 year oldfrom a secular background. Ihadn't worn those jeans inmonths, but they felt as muchof a part of me as my hair did.And although, I didn't reallywant to wear jeans to work, at

the moment it was tempting to revertback to old ways just to avoid the un-seemly situation at hand. Eventhough I could bring a pair of pantsto work with me, change when I gotthere, and change back when I left (ifit was absolutely needed for safetyreasons), I had decided to stick to myguns and see what would happen, andhere I was.

"You don't really wear pants? Reallymeaning what? Meaning you likewearing skirts better or you really

The Girl in the SkirtBy Rucheli Manville


don't wear pants?" This was gettingmore awkward by the second."Umm… meaning I don't own anypants. At all." Mark cocked his headto the side and gave me a look thathad "Interesting…" written all over it.A few seconds ticked by in silence.

"Okay."

Okay? I was caught completely off-guard, but Mark seemed content toleave it at that, passing me on to mytrainer and good friend, Haley. Themorning continued with the standardfirst-day paperwork and the more in-depth tour of the facility. The requi-site introductions to anyone andeveryone that we happened to meetalong the way ensured that as manypeople as possible saw my unusualoutfit. Yet despite the staring, no oneelse said anything to me at all, and myday flew by, ending without any fur-ther incidents.

The next day, I decided to meet myboss somewhere in the middle, show-ing up in a polo shirt with a blacklong-sleeved shirt underneath and aknee-length jean skirt instead of themore dressy pencil skirt of the daybefore. "Good morning! Is this bet-ter?" I asked my boss, half joking, asI walked into the office. "That'scloser," he remarked with a smirk."I'm glad you at least wore some kindof jean today, you're going out on thefactory floor. Ask Haley for detailswhen she gets back. Have fun!" Outon the factory floor? Yeah, it wouldbe fun alright.

A few minutes later, Haley walkedin and led me back downstairs andinto the repair area of our manufac-turing facility. More introductions,more stares. She set me up with de-tailed instructions on gathering infor-mation for redoing some of ourtraining paperwork, walked methrough the first few steps, and then

left me to my own devices. Themorning passed by in a flash and itwas lunch-time before I knew it. Iwent upstairs to grab my lunch sincethe cafeteria was definitely not kosher,and as I was heading out the door tojoin Haley in the cafeteria, Markstopped me.

"Have a minute?" he asked me. "Ofcourse," I answered. "What can I helpyou with?" "Before you go to lunch,I need you to come with me. We needto go see one of the managers down-stairs." Great, already? I had onlybeen here for a day, what could I havepossibly messed up?! "Don't worry,"he added. "You're not in trouble, wejust need to work out this dress codeof yours." Faaaaantastic.

We walked downstairs into the of-fice of the Manager for Environmen-tal, Health, and Safety (EHS) for ourplant. Mark pointed to the seat for meand then stood next to the chair in thecorner with his arms crossed. Thiswas going to be fun.

"Hi Rucheli, my name is Matt, I'min charge of EHS here," stated theman across the desk. "I just called youand Mark in here to discuss yourdress here at work. You're not in trou-ble at all," he reassured me. Seemedto be a common theme, yet alwaysfollowed by a clause. "But, we doneed to figure out something differ-ent. We'd really rather have you wearpants to work for safety reasons. Yourlegs need to be covered completely sothat you have some protection fromany scrap metal that may go flyingfrom the manufacturing machinery."This was exactly what my Rabbi andI had spoken about. Frustrating...I re-ally didn't want to have to wear pantsagain! I sat for a second thinkingabout an answer when an ideapopped into my head.

"I'm not sure if Mark told you or

not, but I don't wear pants. I actuallydon't even own any. It's for religiousreasons. I do have some long jeanskirts though… Those would covermy legs completely if that's what themain problem is. Would that work?"I got the same look of "Interesting…" that I had received from my bossthe day before. And the same answer:"Okay."

The next day I came in with yet an-other new wardrobe… long-sleevesand a polo still, but this time with afloor-length jean skirt. In the state ofFlorida, as far as clothing is con-cerned, less is usually consideredmore and this was anything but "less."Yet despite all of the stares, the dayas a whole was pretty uneventful untila friend of mine from school whoworked in another department, Jake,came up to me while I was finishingup on the factory floor. He had ahuge smile on his face, so I knewsomething was up.

"Hey you, how's work so far?" heasked. Before I could even answer, hecontinued. "You've already got quitethe reputation around here.""What?!" Any reputation I could getafter two days could not be a greatone. "Yeah, even people who haven'tmet you yet have heard about you…You're the girl in the skirt," he saidwith a mischievous grin. "Perfect,everyone thinks I'm a freak, huh?""Nah… everyone's just curious Ithink. You attract a lot of attentionjust by being here, but wearing a skirton a manufacturing floor is definitelya first for these guys. I think it's en-dearing…" he finished. "Alright,thanks Jake. I get the point. Good toknow I have a nickname already."

I thought that would be the end ofthe interesting events for the day, butI was wrong. As I was literally walkingout of the door, I was once again


stopped by my boss, for the same rea-son as the day before. "Let's go,"Mark said. "We're taking another tripdown to EHS." "Another one? Ithought this worked," I answered."Yeah, so did I."

Back in the EHS Manager's office,I sat in the same chair and Mark stoodin the same corner and we listened tothe same speech. "Okay so the longskirt was a step in the right direction,but this morning I had some of themanufacturing supervisors come in toexpress their concerns over the longskirt… They think that the long skirtswill get caught in machinery orsnagged on a pallet, and I have toagree. I really think we need to haveyou wear jeans, Rucheli."

Time for some quick thinking...I ei-ther needed an alternative or it wastime to give in. I never thought Iwould have to defend my personalchoice to dress more modestly. I said

the first thing that came to my mind."Well, if I can't wear long skirts but Ineed to cover my legs, what if I justwear those knee length skirts withboots?" What was I thinking? It was97°F outside and I was asking todress like it was the middle of win-ter?!

"What about the skin between yourboots and your skirt?" asked Matt,looking to cover all of his bases. "Ihave thick tights that I wear some-times. They're completely opaque,that would cover the four inches thatare left. What do you think?" I wasimmediately regretting this statement,but Matt seemed to like the idea. "Tryit out tomorrow and come see mewhen you get in. We'll see if thismight work as a solution, it soundsgood to me," he said, ending the con-versation. I left work that day won-dering what I had just gotten myselfinto. Jean skirt + calf-high boots +

thick opaque tights+ long-sleeved t-shirt + polo shirt +summer weather =one very over-heated Jewishwoman. How haddressing modestlyturned into such ahuge ordeal?!

I showed up towork the nextmorning in full win-ter gear. It was 93°Foutside. I walkedinto work hardlyeven noticing thestares and marchedstraight into Matt'soffice to present mynew regalia. "Per-fect!" Finally. "Ithink that will workgreat! I'm glad wewere able to find a

solution that will keep everyone elsehappy with EHS and still allow you toexpress your religious beliefs!" An-swering in thanks, I left the office andran upstairs to start my day. I was al-ready sweating.

Days passed by without any moretrips to the EHS office, but every fewdays someone new would build upthe chutzpah to actually approach meand ask why I dressed the way I did.The first few times I responded nerv-ously, but after a while I built up con-fidence in defending my decisionsand my dress-code. I learned moreabout why I was doing what I wasdoing, and it made a huge difference.

"Hey girl, I don't mean to offend,but I wanted to check what yo' deal is.You a Christian or something?" Gottalove welders. "Nope, actually I'm anorthodox Jew. Let me guess, my stylemade you ask?" "Yeah, I thought itwas just some crazy new fashionthang, but then I saw you dress like'dat every day. Figured I'd come seewhat up. That's cool though, I digthat. I admire a girl who can stand herground. Props to you, girl in theskirt."

As time went by, more and morepeople came to respect my odd senseof fashion. Was it normal? Absolutelynot. Had anyone ever worn a skirt ina factory? Not that I know of. But didit matter? Not a bit. If anything, I wasable to make our workplace a morediverse and more accepting environ-ment, one that was open-minded tonew scenarios and different customs.It wasn't easy, and it was almost nevercomfortable, but I found out the hardway that when you respect yourself,everyone else follows suit. SomethingI had been so nervous about on myfirst day of work has become mytrademark. I'm the girl in the skirt, I'mthe Jew, and I'm proud


-

-

-


Over this past Shabbos,3 frum men were assaulted on a attempted robbery.

Obviously, they were not carrying any money, because it was Shabbos.

Please be very careful when walking alone.

WLAPD and Wilshire Division have put Pico/Robertson and

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to wear expensive jewelry.

Always walk aware of your surroundings.

Baila Romm - Neighborhood WatchCrime and Community Concerns

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• 1/2 head napa cabbage,

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• 1 large carrot, shredded

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• 3 scallions, trimmed and thinly

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• 1 (8-ounce) can sliced water

chestnuts

• 1 (11-ounce) can Mandarin

oranges in water, drained

• 1/3 cup rice wine vinegar

• 1 teaspoon minced garlic

• 1 teaspoon minced ginger

• 2 tablespoons canola oil

• 2 tablespoons brown sugar

• 1 1/2 teaspoons chili-garlic

sauce or chili sauce

• 1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

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(310) 289-6556

Eat Good To Go Kosher LA

12417 Burbank Blvd., N.H, 91607

(818) 509-2966

Fish Grill Kehila


(323) 937-716212013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025

(310) 479-18009618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 860-118222935 Pacific Coast Highway

(310) 456-8585

Jerusalem Pizza Kehila

17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316

(818) 758-9595

La Brea Bagel Kehilla


(323) 965-1287

La Pizza Rabbi Furst

12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 760-8198

Milk N Honey RCC

8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035

(310) 858-8850

Milky Way Kehila

9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 859-0004Nagilla Pizza Kehila


(310) 788-0111

Nana Cafe RCC

1509 S Robertson Blvd.

(310) 407-0404

Pacific Pizza RCC - Cholov Yisroel & Pas Yisroel

12460 Oxnard St. N. Hollywood

(818) 760-0087

Pico Cafe Kehila

8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310)385-9592

Pizza Maven Kehila

140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036

(323) 857-0353

Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel

30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301

(818) 991-3000

Pizza Station Kehila

8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 276-8708

Pizza World Kehila

365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036

(323) 653-2896

Sassis Sushi Kehila

16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436

(818) 783-2727

Shalom Pizza RCC


(310) 271-2255

Stacey’s Café D Kosher LA

12501 Burbank Blvd. #5, NH 91607

(818) 506-2551

Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin

18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana

(818) 757-3100

Fish In The Village RCC

12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 769-0085

Le Sushi RCC

12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607

(818) 763-6600

Bodhi Vegan KitchenKosher LA


(310) 248-2777

SushiKo RCC


DINING GUIDEMEAT DAIRY

PAREVE

Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544


R E A S O N S T O C O N S I D E RA L I F E S E T T L E M E N T

• Policy has notperformed as anticipated

• Need for cash flow

• Beneficiary is nowdeceased

• Premiums too costly

• A change in estate size

• A desire to purchasea survivorship policy

• Changes in Estate Tax laws

Busines Changes:

• Buy/Sell funding isno longer required

• Business is sold

• Changes in deferredcompensation benefits

• Bankruptcy proceedings

81 year old maleUniversal Life$5,000,000$0

$860,000Premiums of in-force policy were expensive and becoming difficult to afford. The insured no longer needed the policy and sold it for a sum worth approximately twice the policy’s cost basis.C A S E S T U DY

INSURED:Type of Policy:Face Amount:

Cash Surender Value:Offer price to policy owner:

Reason:

C A S E S T U DY

For a free, no obligation consultation and policy appraisal, by phone or in person

If you are over age 70, we can show you how your life insurancepolicy might pay off now, while you are alive and still here to enjoy

it! What’s more, you may be able to sell your policy for considerably more than its cash surrender value.

A PROUD MEMBER OF

LIFE INSURANCE SETTLEMENT ASSOCIACTION

with RABBI YOSEF Y. JACOBSON

Saturday Evening, January 7, 2012 8:00 pm

Chabad of the Valley Headquarters The Teichman Family Social Hall

18181 Burbank Blvd., Tarzana

Fee: $25 per person

Includes creative Havdalah Service followed by the lecture and a full course Melavah Malka

For reservations, please visit our website at www.ChabadoftheValley.org or call 818.758.1818

MELAVAH MALKA GATHERING

MARRIAGE:the

Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson, one of the most sought-after Jewish speakers in the world today, has lectured to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences on six continents and in thirty states. Funny, brilliant, charming, and an exceptional orator, he has touched thousands with his

deep, intuitive grasp of the human condition and his remarkable ability to bring down profound Torah ideas and inspire his listeners with its relevance to their daily lives.

Community Links Issue 197

Documents

Transcript of Community Links Issue 197