Community Café Orientation Guide:

Changing the Lives of Children through

Conversations that Matter “You have been telling the people that this is the eleventh hour, now you must go back and

tell the people that this is the hour. And there are things to be considered...

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”

And then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time! There is

a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.

They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer

greatly.”

“Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into

the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.”

“And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take

nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth

and journey comes to a halt.”

“The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!”

“Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must

be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.”

“We are the ones we have been waiting for.”

Hopi Nation Prayer Oraibi, Arizona

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

Leadership that Begins with Self and Transforms Communities

Partnerships with Parents that Impact Practice,

Programs and Policy

Strengthening Families using a Protective Factor Framework

A guide to hosting meaningful conversations that spark leadership to build the

relationships necessary to strengthen families

For more information on Community Cafés, or to schedule a presentation in your area contact

thecommunitycafe@gmail.com.

AA CC FF EE

Contents

Section 1 History

What are Community Cafés & How Did They Come About?

What We Do

The Story of Our Planning Sessions Together

Section 2 Seeds

Welcome to the World Café

What makes the World Café Work?

Café Etiquette

Protective Factors Necessary for Families to Thrive

Self Leadership

Leadership Practices

Café Questions for Leadership Conversation

Parent Partnership Growth & Development

Section 3 Community Café Design Tools:

Tips for Hosting

Planning Team Discussion Sheet

Sample Agenda for Two-Hour Café

Sample Questions for Protective Factor Conversations

Conversation Kit Contents

Section 4 eValuation:

Appreciative Inquiry Article

Baseline Interview

Appreciative Inquiry Story Collection Sheets

eValuation Form

Final Café Feedback Form

Section 5 Outreach

Sample Community Invitation Letters (3)

Host Orientation Letter Template

Elevator Speech

Sample Flyers (3)

World Café Overview

Logic Model Handout

Area Implementation Tip Sheet

State Implementation Tip Sheet

Section 6 Sample Forms for Hosts

Budgeting Worksheet

Reimbursement Form

Sign In Sheet

Sample Harvest Form

Conversation Kit Contents

Section 7 Handouts

Protective Factors Necessary for Families to Thrive

Self Leadership

Iceberg

Practices of Exemplary Leaders

Parent Partnership Development

Section 8 For Further Reading

Section 9 Your Own Additions

What is Community Café?

The Community Café approach sparks leadership to

develop relationships necessary to strengthen families.

The newest research is saying there are five critical

protective factors a child needs to thrive. Strengthening

families means building these protective factors. This

takes creating stronger partnerships with parents and

communities. Meaningful conversations are the

mechanism we use to develop these relationships. This

approach is being practiced in neighborhoods, tribal

centers, early learning and child care settings, schools,

faith-based organizations, and social service systems.

Community Cafés are typically parent hosted gatherings

where people participate in a series of guided

conversations. What meaningful conversation do you think

your community needs to have to strengthen families?

© Kokua Springs

History

Why We Sing

Por que Cantamos

si cada hora viene con su muerte

si el tiempo es una cueva de ladrones

los aires ya no son los buenos aires

la vida es nada más que un blanco móvil

usted preguntará por qué cantamos

si nuestros bravos quedan sin abrazo

la patria se nos muere de tristeza

y el corazón del hombre se hace añicos

antes aún que explote la vergüenza

usted preguntará por qué cantamos

si estamos lejos como un horizonte

si allá quedaron árboles y cielo

si cada noche es siempre alguna ausencia

y cada despertar un desencuentro

usted preguntará por qué cantamos

cantamos porque el río está sonando

y cuando suena el río / suena el río

cantamos porque el cruel no tiene nombre

y en cambio tiene nombre su destino

cantamos por el niño y porque todo

y porque algún futuro y porque el pueblo

cantamos porque los sobrevivientes

y nuestros muertos quieren que cantemos

cantamos porque el grito no es bastante

y no es bastante el llanto ni la bronca

cantamos porque creemos en la gente

y porque venceremos la derrota

cantamos porque el sol nos reconoce

y porque el campo huele a primavera

y porque en este tallo en aquel fruto

cada pregunta tiene su respuesta

cantamos porque llueve sobre el surco

y somos militantes de la vida

y porque no podemos ni queremos

dejar que la canción se haga ceniza.

if time is a den of thieves

the airs are no longer good airs

and life is nothing more than a moving target

you might ask, why do we sing?

if our bravos are left without support

our homeland dies from sorrow

and the heart of man is smashed to pieces

even before the shame explodes

you might ask, why do we sing?

if we're as far away as the horizon

and if over there were left the trees and the sky

if every night is always some sort of absence

and if every waking is a missed encounter

you might ask, why do we sing?

We sing because the river is calling

and when the river calls, the river calls

we sing because cruelty has no name

and in change its destiny has a name

we sing because the child and because all

and because someday and because the people

we sing because the survivors

and our dead want us to sing

we sing because to shout is not enough

and the crying and the cursing is not enough

we sing because we believe in people

and because we will defeat failure

we sing because the sun recognizes us

and because the fields smell of spring

and because in this stalk in that fruit

every question has its answer

we sing because it rains over the furrows

and we are the militants of life

and because we neither want nor can

allow the song to be turned to ashes.

Why We Sing

Self-Journal

How has understanding your own history shaped how you live and relate to your community?

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

An approach that sparks leadership to nurture the relationships necessary to

strengthen families

How will you appreciate the journey your community will take?

Dream: Beloved community based on collective wisdom with and in human systems to foster

equality, respect and inclusion

Design: Meaningful conversations that reweave the social fabric for children

Discovery: What can we do together to ensure all children have a birthright to courage, freedom,

health, community and compassion?

Delivery: Work that is based on Core Principles of Cooperation

1. Work in partnership

2. Honor and respect every contribution to the café

3. Honor and respect every person’s leadership and culture

4. Act like everyone arrives with the best of intentions

5. Build and share collective wisdom and consensus

6. Work with equality and self determination in a structure of reciprocity

7. Acknowledge our role in building healthy community

8. Maintain safety and kindness in our words and environment

9. Strive to make every decision and contribution with compassion

Strategies We Typically Employ:

Network the Participants –Leadership

Use local wisdom and assets such as neighborhood residents to design cafes, create the

invitation and host the conversation

Design mentorship in café activities

Look for and acknowledge strengths, gifts, commitment, ownership

Create relational value through reciprocity – value social capital

Grow family culture to live the change we are seeking

Allow for a variety of ways of expression

Practice deep breathing

Network the Networks - Building Partnerships

Nurture compassionate working relationships

Ask what has changed to create the challenge rather than blame

Build and share collective wisdom

Invite versus persuade

Arrive curious, suspend judgment

Share each other’s language, build common language and co-create new culture

See ourselves as part of the system we are trying to change

Plan ahead of time where, when, to whom and how the café harvest will be shared

Create action plans that respect the emergence of a living system

View meaningful conversation as a key to relationship building

Create a continuum of advocacy opportunities

Trust the Capacity for Living Systems to Thrive – Strengthening Families

Come with a curious and beginner’s mind for every café activity

Guide the conversations relevant to the Community Café knowledge base

Share stories to grow collective wisdom

Assume everyone has a contribution that can be used to strengthen families

Co-learn rather than train or teach and co-create group culture

Give voice and stage to cultural and family traditions

Take the time to visualize and breathe together

Begin and end conversations with beauty

Listen, use “I statements,” rather than offer solutions

Practice deep breathing

Principles of cooperation and these strategies help to be specific about how much a café can

adapt before not being a Community Café any more. It may be very likely that none of the

gatherings are called “Community Cafés” but have their own localized titles, meaningful to

the local participants. This is an example of using an approach rather than a model for

solving problems.

How will the cultures present in your own community influence the design of your café?

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

Your Time With This Guide

What gift do you offer to your community? How meaningful do you intend for this time to be for you? What kind of environment do you best learn in? What

needs to be there in order for you have a meaningful conversation with an unfamiliar group or to share your thoughts freely? Do you like to write, draw,

sketch or scribble to represent your thoughts?

Seeds

Exile By Ibrahim Al-Awaji

(Translated from the Arabic by Maryam Ishaq Al-Khlifa Sharief)

Who can say that exile

Is just an accident of geography?

In it the body has to reside

At a distance from the village.

In it the soul stays confined

Within the walls of space

And so the body longs and

Pines for the soul.

In this view exile becomes

A material event

By which the mind is somehow

bewitched.

Who can say that exile

Is to remain outside the walls of a

certain village?

To search for different horizons

In which to unfold your being.

There to plant the seeds of return

To a paradise lost

To dip your clipped nails

To the very limit of desperation

To pierce the wall of biding fear.

.

There to burn a longing

You feel for exile

For rowing in a sea

Of a depth unknown.

Jumping over the seeming limits

Of forgetfulness,

An endless sea in which to search

For those who are lost

Apart from yourself.

Jumping over the seeming limits

Of forgetfulness,

Reaching out for tales of the past;

The tales of a grandmother.

About the world beyond the sea…

Exile is to feel you are alone

Even when you are close to someone

It is when the taste of familiar things

Becomes repelling.

And when a word

Once thought familiar

Is strange to the hearing.

Exile is rebounding to the very inward

Sensing return

As something sterile.

Self-Journal

Community Cafés invite diverse perspectives in the room and involve them in conversations

using the World Café technology. People who host cafés come prepared with questions for

participants to talk about. These questions plant seeds for insight and learning together. The

group then “harvests” a greater collective knowledge and wisdom. (www.theworldcafe.org.)

Community Café conversations plant seeds about leadership and community building so children

are ensured the five essential protective factors they need in order to thrive. The Center for the

Study of Social Policy conducted extensive research and published the protective factor

framework this approach is based on. The factors that need to exist in a child’s family life are:

Parental Resiliency

Primary caregivers with an adequate knowledge of parenting and child development

Parents with an array of social connections

Access to basic needs when they need it to include mental health care

Healthy social and emotional development

Conversations about these protective factors can help build common language, cultural relevance

and grow community culture that strengthens families.

What Makes World Café Work

The World Café: Shaping Our Futures Through Conversations that Matter by Juanita Brown

Berret-Koehler Publisher, 2005

www.theworldcafe.com

Creating Your Own Community Café Culture

As a host, how would you create an atmosphere that would help people to contribute their

thinking and listen deeply?

What do you do to model and practice a culture of listening?

Why do you think it is important for all participants to use the “Play, Doodle, Draw, Write”

sheet?

FAMILIES NEED ALL OF THESE TO THRIVE!

Protective Factors with Sample Café Questions

I WILL CONTINUE TO

HAVE COURAGE DURING STRESS

OR AFTER A CRISIS (RESILIENCY)

What gives you courage during trying times?

What does it mean to stay present?

I AM CURIOUS ABOUT

MY CHILD AND RESPOND TO

THEIR NEEDS (ADEQUATE

KNOWLEDGE OF PARENTING

CHILD DEVELOPMENT)

How do I know I need more information?

What do I rely on when I have questions

about my parenting?

MY FAMILY CAN ACCESS

BASIC NEEDS WHEN THEY NEED IT

(ACCESS TO CONCRETE SUPPORT

IN TIMES OF NEED, INCLUDING

ACCESS TO NECESSARY SERVICES,

SUCH AS MENTAL HEALTH)

What happens when basic needs are not met?

How can all families get their needs met, not just

families who know how the system works?

I HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME, FRIENDS, AND AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO SUPPORTS MY PARENTING (AN ARRAY OF SOCIAL CONNECTIONS)

Who can you count on in your family, neighborhood, or community and what does their support look like?

What in your family history or culture makes it difficult or easy to ask for help?

MY CHILD FEELS LOVED, A SENSE OF BELONGING, AND CAN GET ALONG WITH OTHERS (HEALTHY SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT)

How does my child know how I feel? How do I know what they are feeling?

What builds a sense of belonging for my child?

Narrative for Protective Factors

Every child needs all five of these protective factors in order to thrive, what must we do

together that cannot be accomplished on our own? What implications does this new

knowledge have on how we currently work and live?

Reflect on a time when a particular lack or availability of a

protective factor impacted your family’s life.

How do you think these factors are woven into your culture or community?

How would your grandparents have lived these protective factors?

Narrative for Self-Leadership

We are born with the self-leadership we need to take the first breath and continue to make

the choice to be in the world. Our job in the first few years of life is to deepen the self love

that affirms our right to be nurtured, identified as lovable and extends into feelings of

compassion and connection for others. As we grow and live daily life, we all encounter pain

and suffering which may make it more difficult to be in touch with the leadership needed to

make the positive changes we want. The self leadership needed to host cafés and make

positive changes in our lives allows us to practice arriving curious and suspending judgment

of ourselves and others. The practice focuses on being present and treating ourselves with

compassion.

Create an artifact with words, pictures or symbols that represents your authentic self. Then,

recall a time when you acted from your authentic self in a situation. What words would you

use to describe the feelings you had during and after the situation? What body sensations do

you notice? How would you contrast that with a time you acted out of anger or working just

to get the job done? Journal your thoughts here:

Practices of

Exemplary Leaders

Challenging the Process

Searching for Opportunities Experimenting

Inspiring a Shared Vision

Envisioning the Future Enlisting Others

Sparking Others to Act

Fostering Collaboration Strengthening Others

Modeling the Way

Setting an Example Planning Small Wins

Encouraging the Heart

Recognizing Contributions Celebrating Accomplishments

Adapted from: © 1995 The Leadership Challenge, by Posner and Kouzes

We are all born with the capacity to lead. As we grow, our

ideas of who we are as a leader frames how we behave,

interact with others and parent our children. Community

Cafés assume that leadership is limitless and as unique as

people are varied. How does personal power align with

leadership? What leadership do you want to take to

contribute to the transformation the community needs to

strengthen families?

Parent Partnership

Development

Self Leadership

Observer & Participant

Community Leader

Mentor

Narrative for the Parent Partnership Development

“Despite current ads and slogans, the world doesn’t change one person at a time. It changes

when networks of relationships form among people who share a common cause and vision

of what’s possible. This is good news for those of us intent on creating a positive future.

Rather than worry about critical mass, our work is to foster critical connections. We don’t

need to convince large numbers of people to change; instead, we need to connect with

kindred spirits. Through these relationships, we will develop the new knowledge, practices,

courage and commitment that lead to broad-based change.

But networks aren’t the whole story. As networks grow and transform into active,

collaborative communities, we discover how Life truly changes, which is through emergence.

When separate, local efforts connect with each other as networks, then strengthen as

communities of practice, suddenly and surprisingly a new system emerges at a greater level

of scale. This system of influence possesses qualities and capacities that were unknown in

the individuals. It isn’t that they were hidden; they simply don’t exist until the system

emerges. They are properties of the system, not the individual, but once there, individuals

possess them. And the system that emerges always possesses greater power and influence

than is possible through planned, incremental change. Emergence is how Life creates radical

change and takes things to scale.” “Using Emergence to Take Social Innovation to Scale”, Margaret Wheatley and Deborah Frieze, 2006.

How has this natural system behavior relate to your own life and community?

Community Café Design Tools

If I Had a Hammer

Si Tuviera un Martillo

By Lee Hays & Pete Seeger

If I had a hammer

I'd hammer in the morning

I'd hammer in the evening

All over this land

I'd hammer out danger

I'd hammer out a warning

I'd hammer out love between my

brothers and my sisters

All over this land

If I had a bell

I'd ring it in the morning

I'd ring it in the evening

All over this land

I'd ring out danger

I'd ring out a warning

I'd ring out love between my brothers

and my sisters

All over this land

If I had a song

I'd sing it in the morning

I'd sing it in the evening

All over this land

I'd sing out danger

I'd sing out a warning

I'd sing out love between my brothers

and my sisters

All over this land

Well I've got a hammer

And I've got a bell

And I've got a song to sing

All over this land

It's the hammer of justice

It's the bell of freedom

It's the song about love between my

brothers and my sisters

All over this land

Si tuviera un martillo martillaría por

la mañana

Martillaría por la tarde todo sobre

esta tierra

Resolvería peligro, yo resolvería una

advertencia

Resolvería amor entre mis hermanos

y mis hermanas

Todo sobre esta tierra

Si tuviera una campana la sonaría por

la mañana

La sonaría por la tarde todo sobre esta

tierra

Sonaría fuera de peligro, yo sonaría

fuera de una advertencia

Sonaría fuera de amor entre mis

hermanos y mis hermanas

Todo sobre esta tierra

Si tuviera una canción la cantaría por

la mañana

La cantaría por la tarde todo sobre

esta tierra

Cantaría fuera de peligro, yo cantaría

fuera de una advertencia

Cantaría fuera de amor entre mis

hermanos y mis hermanas

Todo sobre esta tierra

El pozo I consiguió un martillo y

conseguí una campana

Y conseguí una canción para cantar

todos sobre esta tierra

Es el martillo de la justicia, él es la

campana de la libertad

Es la canción sobre amor entre mis

hermanos y mis hermanas

Todo sobre esta tierra

Self-Journal

What support do you need to feel confident in hosting your own café conversations?

Here are some tools that you may feel useful to designing your own cafe conversations or a cafe

series. These are examples of tools that other hosts have used in the past. You may want to use

them as they are or adapt them to fit the culture of your group.

Community Cafés: Changing the lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

Tips for Hosting

1. What if people need conversation the way fish need water?

Create numerous opportunities for relationship building

Enlist others in your planning

Invite diverse perspectives into the conversation

2. What if conversation is how positive change happens for families?

Invite rather than persuade or try to get people to come

Encourage participants to speak from their own personal experience; discourage giving advice

3. What are ways hosts keep conversations focused?

Agree on the purpose of each café and design the questions about that purpose

Invest the time to develop powerful questions that provoke conversation about the topic

Announce the purpose at each Café as well as at the start of a new question

Create a group tradition that signifies the beginning and the end of each café

End each café in beauty

4. What if we could create a space that nurtures meaningful conversation?

Building trust and the freedom to express personal truth requires safe, predictable, and accepting

environment

Care for yourself as lovingly as you treat others, model self leadership

Hosts honor culture by considering culturally relevant activities into their routines, foods they

serve, communication styles and art

Participants are greeted at the door with a welcoming smile

5. What if the gold lies in discovering the big questions?

Powerful questions tend to be, relevant to all in the room, open to interpretation, easily read and

heard, stimulate conversation rather than develop lists, cause a little discomfort, consider the

culture of the participants

Remind participants that their contributions benefit the whole group

Release yourself and others from needing to come up with the right answers

Your planning team chooses questions intended to deepen the dialogue on the five protective

factors , leadership and parent partnerships with community

6. What if no one knows which contribution will be the key ingredient?

Model respect of everyone’s style of communication and point of view

Highlight conversations with words, pictures, verbal, non-verbal communications

Keep café tables to about 4-5 people

Have opportunities for small group, large group and paired conversations

7. What if listening together is how movement happens?

Everyone is responsible for listening and documenting what is meaningful to them so it is visible

to others

Make the individual conversations visible to the whole group

Take time to retell the conversations and for the group to express what was meaningful to them

Document the stories

Hosts and storytellers reflect what they hear

Hosts encourage listening for patterns, the deeper meaning and other questions that arise

8. What if the harvest provides seeds for action and?

Have a networking mechanism in place ahead of time

Engage community partners from the beginning

Encourage participants to connect the group wisdom to the community

Give the group a chance to build relationships with each other

Follow up with story tellers; encourage them to become hosts

Allow room in opening and closing routine for sharing aha(s), seeds of inspiration or thought,

changes they have made

Follow up with story tellers; encourage them to become hosts

Celebrate and communicate achievements!

Brown, Juanita, The World Café, Berrett Koehler Publ., 2005

Café Name Here

Dream Statement Here

Date and Time

Location

The Setting Design (Food, table arrangement, art, table cloths, music, poetry, cultural additions)

Supplies: flip charts and markers, paper squares, pos-its, paper for graphic recording, tape

Objectives for Café Here

Clock time Activity

(What is the group doing? What

will you ask?) Purpose/objective

(from the top or your

own reasons) Guide

(Who will

guide this

piece?) Notes/Context/ Comments

(Anything you need to write

to prepare for this section as

well as the context for the

question, harvest, etc.)

Planning Teams’ Discussion Sheet

Where __________ When______________ Time__________

Café Planning Questions:

Tasks? Who will do it? / When?

What do we need to get it done?

Will this need funding? About what

will it cost? Conversations: What

are the powerful questions that would

bring the people in my community

together?

Relationships: Who is in your

community? How will create an

appealing invitation? How will you nurture relationships? How

will you communicate?

Children: Child care, inclusion of all ages? How will you ensure safety and a pleasant

experience?

Environment: What does it smell, look, feel, sound, taste

like?

What do you need to

feel comfortable hosting?

Sample Agenda for Your Own Cafés

5:30 Welcome! - Café hosts welcome guests and introduce yourself as the host

5:35 Gathering Ritual – Set the context (why are we here today?)

5:40 Dinner with café conversation topic

(e.g. Introduce yourself and our family to your neighbor. Choose a question related to the protective

factor you will be discussing)

Group has kids go to play as soon as they are done eating

6:55 Begin first round of Café questions (ask for volunteer story tellers, timekeeper)

6:15 Get storytellers to share the sparks (highlights), patterns, seeds (what parents will take away from

the conversation)

6:20 Second round of questions

7:00 Sparks, patterns, seeds

7:05 Large group discussion – Reflections?

What action will you take to ensure (insert name of protective factor) for your family and what

support do you need to get this done?

Does anyone have any ideas of what could be done to make this (insert name of protective factor) to

all families in our neighborhood?

7:20 Reflections for the evening (what went well, what would they like to be different next time?)

7:25 Closing Ritual

Host Follow Up:

Write up sparks, patterns and seeds along with any ideas for action, distribute to group.

Suggested Follow Up:

Call participants to remind them of upcoming café meeting

Work with team to plan next steps for action ideas

Sample Questions

Do you have someone in your family, neighborhood, and/or community that you can

count on?

What in your family history or culture make sit difficult or easy to ask for help?

Think about a challenging time in your family. What made you feel proud of your

family in that situation?

How does your family bounce back from difficult times?

What parts of parenting have come naturally to you?

What parts of parenting have surprised you? What has challenged you to learn more?

Describe a time when your family or your child had a need that you could not meet.

How did that feel? How do you think it affected your child?

What are the resources and skills that aid you whenever your family's basic needs are

not being met?

eValuations

The Pintele Yid Jewish Spark

The Kabbalists tell us that God[1]

In creating the world

Took some of its fresh new light

And poured it into each of the vessels of the spheres of the universe

Reader: But such powerful light was stronger than the vessels

And so they weakened and cracked,

While the precious light spilled out, falling down and down

Through all the worlds

Until they reached into the lowest world: Our own.

Reader: As the sparks of light fell down,

They took on forms, and embedded themselves

In physical things--

Wood and water,

Plants and paper and living creatures.

Always since that time

The sparks yearn to return to the source of all light,

The single, holy light from which they fell.

All: And so when we do a mitzvah with food or plants or paper or another

human being,

When we thank the Creator for having formed this beautiful and strong

and fragrant thing,

We awaken the spark of light within,

And suddenly its fire starts to grow,

And it rises, flaming higher and higher and higher,

Soon to be reunited with its source.

And as each generation

is embedded in its time's own tyranny,

So do we look toward redemption

Of the holy spark in each of us,

Ready, each of us,

When our redemption time shall come

To soar further upward to the light from which we sprang

And from which our beings draw their breath

Reader:

Self-Journal

What are my highs, challenges, what could I do to improve the current situation?

An evaluation process is critical to knowing if you are achieving what you want out of your

efforts. The key is evaluation in a methodology that appreciates the strengths, and values the

people participating and leaves everyone better off for having participated in the process. What

are some strategies you will use to have the voices in your café have as much influence as other

resources systems use to impact policy and practice?

How do you like to receive feedback?

APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

Around the world Community Based Organizations, international agencies, governments, universities and donors are

discovering an inescapable lesson. The fight against poverty, issues of social justice and environmental decline

requires new forms of cooperation or PARTNERSHIPS that enable diverse constituencies to join forces to meet

enormous challenges which none of them can accomplish alone. The difficulty in forging partnerships built on mutual

respect and shared goals can scarcely be underestimated, yet neither can its potential importance.

Appreciative Inquiry process has taken this challenge and is creating possibilities for building partnerships that

transcend the usual results of many collaborations.

WHAT IS APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY?

What problems are you having?

What is working around here?

These two questions underline the different between traditional Change Management theory and Appreciative

Inquiry. The traditional approach to change is to look for the problem, do a diagnosis and find a solution. The

primary focus is on what is wrong or broken; we look for the problems, we find them. By paying attention to

problems, we emphasize and amplify them. This approach is consistent with a historical attitude in American

Business that sees human systems as machines and parts (people) as interchangeable. We believe we can fix anything

and there is a right answer or solution to any organizational problem or challenge.

PROBLEM SOLVING APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

“Felt Need” Identification of Problem Valuing “What is” (what gives life?) Cause Analysis Envisioning “What might be?” Solution Analysis Dialoguing “What should be?” Action Planning “Treatment” Innovating “What would be?” Metaphor: Org. as problems to be solved Metaphor: Org. as mystery to be

Embraced

In the mid-seventies, David Cooperrider and his associates at Case Western Reserve University challenged this approach and introduced the term Appreciative Inquiry. APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY is an approach to organizational analysis and learning that is uniquely intended for discovering, understanding, and fostering innovations in social organizational arrangements and process. Appreciative Inquiry suggests that we look for what works in an organization. The tangible result of the inquiry process is a series of statements that describe where the organization wants to be, based on the high moments of where they have been. Because the statements are grounded in real experience and history, people know how to repeat their success.

Through a workshop format, the participants stirs up memories of energizing moments of success creating a new energy that is positive and synergistic. Participants walk away with a sense of commitment, confidence and affirmation that they have been successful. They also know clearly how to make more moments of success. It is this energy that distinguishes the generative process that results from Appreciative Inquiry. There is no end because it is a living process. Because the statements generated by the participants are grounded in real experience and in history, people know how to repeat their success. Assumptions of Appreciate Inquiry

1. In every society, organization, or group, something works. 2. What we focus on becomes our reality. 3. Reality is created in the moment, and there are multiple realities. 4. The act of asking questions of an organization or group influences the group in some way. 5. People have more confidence and comfort to journey to the future (the unknown) when they carry forward

parts of the past (the known) 6. If we carry parts of the past forward, they should be what is best about the past. 7. It is more important to value differences. 8. The language we use creates our reality.

The organization Excellence Program at Case Western Reserve University uses the Appreciative Inquiry Approach to support management teams from diverse organizations that are ready for growth and change. Appreciate Inquiry is based on the four D’s model

Written by Yoland Trevino, Monday, October 11, 2010

Dream

“What might be?” {What is the world calling

for?”)

Envisioning Impact

Discovery

“What gives life to a partnership?

Appreciating

Design

“What should be the ideal partnership?”

Co-Constructing

Delivery

“How can the partnership empower

adjust, improvise?”

Sustaining

INTERVIEW CHART

Some Principles of Appreciative Inquiry

There is some value in every organization and community

Starting a change process from a position of strength adds power and possibility to the process

Questions are a good tool for facilitating change

The kinds of questions you ask determine what you will find

Stories are an important part of information gathering

Image (vision, dream) and action are linked

Having a positive, powerful vision/dream empowers people to take action

Getting the whole system involved helps bring about change

Base Line Interview with Hosts

Underlying ‘transformation’ is a change in the conditions to something better than before – in order to demonstrate

that transformation has occurred, it is necessary to show this improvement of conditions. The starting point, before

change has occurred, is called the ‘base line.”

A base line Interview with host: ____________________________________________

Tell a story of what it would look like if your community was connected and members helped each other.

At some point, you decided to take action to help change your community, what were the conditions or circumstances

that led you to take action?

What are the ways in which your cultural values and strengths could help to improve the conditions of the

community/neighborhood?

What are your highest hopes and best ideas for this community to thrive?

Community Cafés

There is no greater power than a community discovering what it cares about.

Ask "What's possible?" not "What's wrong?" Keep asking.

Notice what you care about.

Assume that many others share your dreams.

Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.

Margaret Wheatley

(you can insert your own photo)

BASELINE DATA (The beginning of the journey)

What conditions existed in neighborhoods?

Underlying ‘transformation’ is a change in conditions to something better than before – in order to demonstrate that

transformation has occurred, it is necessary to show this improvement of conditions. The starting point, before

change has occurred, is called the ‘baseline.” Here are some sample baseline questions.

An appreciative Interview with (write name)_________________________________

1) Tell me a story of when this community was connected and the social support was demonstrated by how members helped each other.

2) How would you describe the social support that was offered?

3) What were the specific activities?

4) How did families show that they felt connected to their neighborhood and community?

5) There came a time when this community no longer supported all its members, what were the causes of the decline in the social support networks?

6) Tell us what are some the strengths that you found and helped you decide to continue to live here?

7) At some point, you decided to take action to help change your community, what were the conditions or circumstances that led the people to take action?

8) What are some actions that can be taken to address some of these problems?

9) What are the ways in which your cultural values and strengths are helping to improve the conditions of the community/neighborhood?

10) What are your highest hopes and best ideas for this community to thrive?

Designed by TCI

Self and Group reflections after conducting the Community Cafés

How well are we conducting the community Cafés?

What are we seeing and what is showing us that our participants understand their strengths?

How are parents demonstrating their understanding about the protective factors?

What kind of new leadership development did you see?

How about new community partnerships with parents?

What are the opportunities that we are creating to include parent’s wisdom, values and contribution as change agents of their neighborhoods?

How are our lives are mutually enriched by these Community Café conversations?

Designed by TCI

Discovery

The art and process of discovering the best of what is

The Appreciative Interview for Hosts

1. Please share about your initial attraction to participate in Community Cafes.

What inspired you to join?

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

2. Describe a high point experience

A time when you felt most alive, engaged and connected, or a peak moment when the Community Café

experience was excellent

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

3. What do you value most about:

Yourself Your work Your community

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

4. What are three personal accomplishments that give you pride?

_____________________________________________________________________

In order to help us continue to improve Community Cafés, please take a few minutes to answer the following questions. We appreciate and value your contribution. Strongly DISAGREE Neutral Strongly AGREE

-1- -2- -3- -4- -5-

Section 1: This Community Café has provided enough opportunities for parents to discuss the 5 Protective Factors. (please rate from 1 to 5)

1 2 3 4 5

Section 2: Hosts and parent participants of this Community Café use a common language that we all understand and use freely.

1 2 3 4 5

This Community Café made resources and materials readily available to me and hosts were accessible.

1 2 3 4 5

I was treated well by hosts of this Community Café. 1 2 3 4 5

Participation in this Community Café was helpful to me. 1 2 3 4 5

This was a welcoming and safe environment. (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

Section 3:

I. Because of conversations on “Courage”… a) I experienced growth in skills or knowledge. (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills or knowledge?

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude/opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) What change?

1 2 3 4 5

c) I will change behavior(s) (please rate from 1 to 5) What behavior? ____________________________________________________ So that?

1 2 3 4 5

c) I am more courageous as a parent than before attending the café. (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

II. Because of conversations on “Community”… a) I experienced growth in skills or knowledge (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills or knowledge?

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude/opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) What change?

1 2 3 4 5

Because of conversations on “Community”… c) I will change behavior(s) (please rate from 1 to 5) What behavior(s) will I change? __________________________________________ So that?

1 2 3 4 5

Strongly DISAGREE Neutral Strongly AGREE -1- -2- -3- -4- -5-

d) I am more socially connected than I was before this Community Café.

(please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

III. Because of conversations on “Parenting is part learned”… a) I experienced growth in skills or knowledge. (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills or knowledge?

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude/opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

Your feedback is so valuable. Thank you!

c) I will change behavior(s). (please rate from 1 to 5) What behavior(s) will I change? ________________________________________ So that?

1 2 3 4 5

d) I understand my child’s development more than before I participated in this Community Café (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

e) I am more comfortable talking about my parenting skills with others. (please rate from 1 to 5)

1 2 3 4 5

IV. Because of conversations on “Basic needs met when I need them”… a) I experienced growth in skills or knowledge. (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills and knowledge?

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude/opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) What changes?

1 2 3 4 5

c) I will change behavior(s). (please rate from 1 to 5) What behavior(s) will I change? ________________________________________ So that?

1 2 3 4 5

d) I am more comfortable asking for help (please rate from 1 to 5) Why?

1 2 3 4 5

V. Because of conversations on “My child’s Social and Emotional Development”…. a) I experience growth in skills or knowledge. (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills / knowledge?

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude or opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) What changes? __________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

c) I will change behavior(s). (please rate from 1 to 5) What behavior(s) will I change? _________________________________________ So that?

1 2 3 4 5

VI. Because of my participation in this Community Café… a) I know more people involved in my child’s life. (please rate from 1 to 5)

1 2 3 4 5

b) I have increased my capacity to be a leader. (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

c) I have increased my involvement in my community. (please rate from 1 to 5) How?

1 2 3 4 5

Community Cafés: Your Feedback Creates Change In order to help us continue to improve Community Cafés, please take a moment to answer the following

questions. We appreciate your contribution.

Date: Location: Hosts: In order to help us continue to improve Community Cafés, please take a few minutes to answer the following questions. We appreciate and value your contribution.

Strongly DISAGREE Neutral Strongly AGREE -1- -2- -3- -4- -5-

This Community Café has provided sufficient opportunities for parents to discuss the 5 Protective Factors. (please rate from 1 to 5)

1 2 3 4 5

Hosts and parent participants of this Community Café use a common language that we all understand and use freely.

1 2 3 4 5

This Community Café made resources and materials readily available to me and hosts were accessible.

1 2 3 4 5

I was treated well by hosts of this Community Café. 1 2 3 4 5

Participation in this Community Café was helpful to me. 1 2 3 4 5

This was a welcoming and safe environment. (please rate from 1 to 5) How? _______________________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

Because of conversations on “Community”… a) I experienced growth in skills or knowledge (please rate from 1 to 5) What skills or knowledge? _____________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

b) I experienced a change(s) in attitude/opinion. (please rate from 1 to 5) What change? ______________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

Because of conversations on “Community”… c) I will change behavior(s) (please rate from 1 to 5) What behaviors will I change? __________________________________________ So that? ___________________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

d) I am more socially connected than I was before this Community Café. (please rate from 1 to 5)

How? _____________________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

Because of my participation in this Community Café… a) I know more people involved in my child’s life. (please rate from 1 to 5)

1 2 3 4 5

b) I have increased my capacity to be a leader. (please rate from 1 to 5) How? _____________________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

c) I have increased my involvement in my community. (please rate from 1 to 5) How? _____________________________________________________________

1 2 3 4 5

Your feedback is so valuable. Thank you!

© TCI (YT, RT)

Outreach

Tomorrow’s Child

By Rubin Alves

What is hope?

It is the pre-sentiment that imagination

is more real and reality is less real than it looks.

It is the hunch that the overwhelming brutality

of facts that oppress and repress us

is not the last word.

It is the suspicion that reality is more complex

than the realists want us to believe.

That the frontiers of the possible are not determined by the limits of the actual;

and in a miraculous and unexplained way

life is opening up creative events

which will open the way to freedom and resurrection--

but the two--suffering and hope

must live from each other.

Suffering without hope produces resentment and despair.

But, hope without suffering creates illusions, naivete

and drunkenness.

So let us plant dates

even though we who plant them will never eat them.

We must live by the love of what we will never see.

That is the secret discipline.

It is the refusal to let our creative act

be dissolved away by our need for immediate sense experience

and a struggled commitment to the future of our grandchildren.

Such disciplined hope is what has given prophets, revolutionaries and saints,

the courage to die for the future they envisage.

They make their own bodies the seed of their highest hopes.

Self-Journal

What is the most effective way to communicate the intent of your activity to the people you want

to invigorate?

What is the most effective way to extend an invitation to you?

What else do you think you might need to communicate your new idea to others?

Here are some tools that we have used for those that want to read about it.

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

Our Beliefs Social change is possible one conversation at a time All children, therefore their families, have an inalienable right to the five protective factors

Our Values Courage, Community, Health, Freedom, Compassion

Our Knowledge Base Cafes are a series of guided conversations that provide the stepping stool we utilize to reach for higher heights. This stool has three legs of support: 1. The Five Protective Factors: I will continue to have courage during stress or after a crisis; I have friends and at least one person who supports my parenting; I can access basic needs when I need them; Parenting is part natural and part learned*; My children feel loved, like they matter, and they can get along with others. (*This phrase is written by the Illinois Family Partnership, www.ifpn.org). 2. Leadership: Significant change requires leadership development - a developmental process of self leadership to constituency representation. Relying heavily on the leadership development model developed by Kouzes and Posner, and Siegel’s “Parenting from the Inside Out,” we discuss the leadership skills that produce positive change. Topics include: how to challenge the process, motivate, inspire, and encourage ourselves, our children, our families and others in our community. 3. Parent Partnership: Positive social change requires effective parent partnership building throughout the ecological model. Community Cafés facilitate parent voice to impact policy and programs to better provide protective factors for children and families. Café conversations focus on the stages of relationship building while providing a container for co-learning and cooperative action.

Our Action The World Café technique harvests collective knowledge and transforms it into action. (Juanita Brown, The World Café, Berret-Koehler, 2005.) Community Cafés are planned, led and monitored by trained parents who learn the World Café process, can relate to the participants and build on the assets of their neighborhood. Parents host cafés with the intent of mentoring other parents who become hosts themselves to form more café groups. Group-building traditions, customs, visuals, foods, music and problem solving techniques from the cultures represented in each café, help to ensure cultural relevance. Meaningful relationships develop as parents and community partners participate as equals in a café series that sustains a value of reciprocity. Funding provides support for mileage, childcare, meals and a stipend for the training, planning and hosting time. This support ensures all participants can attend without concern that their participation is taking away precious resources from their family. For more information Contact:

AA CC FF

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversation s That Matter

Project Summary: A diverse group of parent leaders wish to partner with the Health and Safety Network to strengthen families by promoting community partnerships and leadership. Based on five, evidence based protective factors; TCN Parent Cafés will facilitate parent voice and action at home, in neighborhoods and in our community. This first phase will involve as many as six, six-week sessions, engaging at least 70 parents in leadership activities.

The Purpose: Families have shared their stories with us and told us the how tough it is to raise a family; particularly if you feel isolated from your community because of poverty, language, citizenship status, race, poor physical or mental health, or violence. We are also grappling with why the minority population in this county is over represented in prison, drop out and permanent foster care placement statistics and under represented in service access. We need all families in our community to feel they can make a difference, that there is someone who cares about them and we are all in the same boat. Parent leadership creates relationships and supports needed to raise a family. Social services are working harder with less. They are systems sustained by thoughtful, caring people but they are only a small segment of a family's life. Programs in our community work to prevent child abuse and neglect. At the same time the school drop out rate for children of color is increasing, child protective services is overloaded, Safeplace is busier than ever and we have a rising number of homeless children. The prevention field, without parent leadership, is not adequate to build the relationships that network parents with each other about what matters when it matters. These informal relationships are the basis of resiliency in families. Facilitating parent leadership is a key component to significantly impacting children in our community. But what do we mean by this? Family Support America describes this as “Any role or activity that enables participating families to have direct and meaningful input into and influence on systems, policies, programs or practices affecting services or community life for children and families. (Making Room at the Table, Family Support America, 1997.) The scope of community, policy and practice we require to impact county outcomes require us to develop partnerships with parents. TCN strategies will utilize existing strengths of parent leaders to accelerate the pace of positive community change.

The Method:

AA CC FF ÉÉ

This project will run throughout the course of TCN’s 2007-2008 work plan. The core facilitator group will be an extension of the working committee of the Thurston Community Network (TCN). They will be parent leaders from diverse communities to include the communities identified in the "Spark Plug” report. Together with parent leaders TCN will build collective knowledge about the common threads and differences families need to overcome obstacles. In partnership with service sectors (to include schools) we will disseminate that knowledge to the community, and in particular, minority population elders and leaders. Parent Leader consultants will coordinate this project on behalf of the Thurston Community Network. Their charge will be to initiate and energize parent partnerships in services and communities. The consultants will receive direction from the board and parent participants and also work to garner in-kind community support. Activities will be done in the neighborhood by people from that neighborhood ensuring cultural relevance and community asset building. Community Cafes are modeled after Parent Cafés implemented in Illinois. Conversation cafés began with the birthing of the World Cafe technique, authored by Juanita Brown and David Isaacs. The World Café model has been used successfully in many industries and sectors in the U.S. and abroad. Parent Cafés were originally conceptualized and implemented by Illinois Family Partnership Network (IFPN, www.ilfamilypartnership.org.) They engage families in guided conversations as a way to help families learn about protective factors for families. Our conversation points will be based on the five protective factors the Center for the Study of Social Policy deemed necessary for families to raise thriving children. The needs are:

1. Parental Resilience

2. Adequate knowledge of parenting and child development

3. Concrete support in times of need

4. An array of social connections

5. Healthy social and emotional development of children

Parent Cafés are now being held all over Illinois by parent leaders using a train-the-trainers method and is a child abuse prevention strategy currently supported by Children’s Trust of Washington and the Strengthening Families through Early Care and Education leadership team. Two TCN parent leaders have already been oriented by IFPN parent leaders in this model. These two parent leaders, in their TCN consultant role, will adapt this model and orient 8-10 parents from the work group mentioned above through a co-learning process. These parent leaders will then replicate this process in their respective neighborhoods. Cafe participants will eat together and child care will be provided. At least 36 Cafes will engage organizational partners, interested individuals and at least 60 families. Partner organizations will continue to work with emerging parent leaders to create a community norm of the Community Café approach and Family Support premises and principles; together they will work to develop neighborhood capacity to support families. All participants will grow parent leadership and mentoring skills, become an important vehicle for critical qualitative data, and increase parent voice for practices that help children thrive in our community. Organizations currently supporting this project include Children’s Trust of Washington, Child Care Action Council Olympia and the Olympia Family Support Center. Further, a grant application to the Case Foundation is also pending.

Anticipated Budget: Income:

1. TCN Contribution $22440 Expense:

2. Parent Leader Consultant Stipend (180/mo.) 3240 3. Parent Leader Stipend @ $10/hour 11520 4. Childcare 3000 5. Supplies/Books/Copies 750 6. Mileage 450 7. Meals 3500

Total $ 22460

1. This is an anticipated budget built on an expectation that we will tap into the capacity for neighborhoods and local organizations to contribute some in-kind.

2. This includes hours for meeting planning and implementation of the Parent Cafés, not post project reporting or write-up. It also recognizes that the coordinators will need to volunteer about 200 hours of their time.

3. About 15 parents coming to the planning meetings @ $20/ meeting; and for up to 4 parent leaders per group for 6 weeks times 6 groups @ $10/hour.

4. Assumes reimbursed child care for the 4 planning meetings and on-site child care at $40/hr. for the Café activities.

5. Assumes some in-kind for copies and supplies 6. Reimbursed at $ .485/mile or the current County rate. 7. Assumes some in-kind and therefore budgeted for about $6/person/meeting, assuming about 15

people for each meeting. For more information on the five protective factors and how they are critical to families, Strengthening Families through Early Care and Education, the World Café model, or Strengthening Families initiatives happening in Illinois, Washington State or around the country, please visit: www.theworldcafe.com www.ilfamilypartnershipnetwork.org www.strengtheningfamiliesillinois.org www.strengtheningfamilieswashington.org www.cssp.org

Aloha Friends,

We are a group of parents from your neighborhood and we are excited to invite you to a Community Café:

Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter. In partnership with the (agency

partner), we hope to change the lives of children by involving those that influence them most.

We will get together for six weeks in a relaxed and pampered atmosphere. Child care, dinner and

conversation will happen from _______ on _______ at the _____________.

Imagine a free event with a great meal and fun for the kids!

Please call us and let us know if you will be there or would like to be included in our communication loop.

Also let us know if transportation or other supports could help get your family there. You are welcome to

R.S.V.P. with anybody below. We are looking forward to hearing from you!

The beauty in us recognizes the beauty in you,

Your Logo here

Date

Greetings (Community Member/Agency/Organization)!

You are invited to participate in a unique co-learning experience in partnership with the xxx and neighborhood

parents. Community Cafés: Changing the lives of Children through Conversations that Matter will generate parent

voice and action by harvesting the collective wisdom of the people of (insert target area). You may have heard about

us from _________________________.

Together, participants of these conversations will learn together how meaningful conversation can strengthen

families, grow leadership and develop community partnerships with families. We will be getting together for (food,

coffee, tea, etc.) and conversation from (your dates and times and location.) On-site child care and mileage for parents

who need it will also be provided.

(The following paragraph is relevant if you are doing an orientation for host volunteers first.)

After participating in all day orientation, parents and community members will have the tools and ongoing support of

the Community Café Collaborative to host Community Cafés of their own. Thank you in advance for your willingness

to be a part of a wave of parent leadership that helps to strengthen families and improve the lives of children in (insert

your geography here).

Please contact us and let us know if you will be there and/or want to be included in our communication loop. We are

looking forward to hearing from you.

Aloha,

Letter head here

Your Community Partner Letterhead Here

Date

Greetings Parent Leaders and Community Partners!

We would like to invite you to participate in a unique co-learning experience in partnership with the (Community

Partner) and a diverse group of parents. Community Cafés: Changing the lives of Children through Conversations that

Matter will generate parent voice and action while honoring the collective wisdom of the parent leaders living in

Thurston County. Some of you have already heard from us.

We will begin our work with four initial gatherings to initiate a series of guided dialogues based on five essential

needs of thriving families. Together the participants of these conversations will weave commonalities and differences

to create a map for duplicating this activity in a variety of neighborhoods. We will be getting together for food and

conversation from (time) on (dates). These four planning sessions will be held at (location).

After the planning sessions, parents and community members will have the tools and support of (Community Partner)

to initiate a six week Community Café of their own. Please call us and let us know if you will be there or want to be

included in our communication loop. We are looking forward to hearing from you.

Aloha,

Parent Leader(s)

Contact Information

Community Partner

Agency Name

Contact Information

“Leading efforts to strengthen families and communities”

PO Box 13213 Olympia, WA 98508 (360) 867-0847 email: thurstoncommunitynetwork@gmail.com

UNITY =

STRENGTH

The Latino Family Group invites you:

To learn about groups and organizations currently serving Latinos,

to engage in a meaningful dialogue about our common concerns and goals, and

to create solutions and partnerships

Date: Friday, October 23rd, 2009

6:00 - 8:00 pm.

Location: Thurston County Public Health Department

412 Lilly Road NE, Olympia, WA 98506 (across from St. Peter’s Hospital)

Dinner, child care and interpretation will be provided

Co-sponsors and collaborators: Family Support Center, Costco, Office of the Superintendent of Public Education

(OSPI), Washington State Commission on Hispanic Affairs and Thurston County Public Health Department.

.

Sample Forms for Hosts

May You Be Blessed

May you be blessed with discomfort, easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships so that you will live

deeply and from the heart;

May you be blessed with anger at injustice, oppression and the exploitation of people so that you will work for justice,

freedom and peace;

May you be blessed with tears to shed for those that mourn so that you will reach out your hand to them and turn their

mourning into joy;

May you be blessed with just enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world so that you will

do those things that others say cannot be done.

Franciscan Benediction

Café Budgeting Worksheet

Host Team

Café Location: Date for Café:

Location Contact Person:

Stipends (Parent Leaders): (Suggested tasks are confirming facility; arranging for food and child care; planning the

café, setting up, facilitating and clean up for the café; calling parents to remind them about the café and to answer any

questions.)

Name Date # of Hours (estimate) # of Hours (actual)

Estimated cost: ($xx/hour for each parent leader)

Child Care: (You will need to decide whether or not you need to provide

on-site child care, and if so, how many providers you will need.)

How many adults are confirmed to attend?

How many children are confirmed to attend?

What are the ages of the children who will need child care?

How many child care providers are needed?

Names of child care providers:

Estimated cost: ($xx.00/hour for each provider)

Food: ($6.00/adult and $3.00/child are included in the budget.)

Who will be responsible for planning the menu?

Who will prepare/purchase the food?

Who will be responsible for purchasing/bringing plates, cups and table ware?

Estimated cost:

Supplies:

Date Description Cost

© Kokua Springs

Estimated cost:

Mileage: Mileage will be reimbursed at the end of the series based on

Xxx cents/mile. Be sure that those who wish reimbursement include their mileage on the sign in sheet.

Estimated cost:

Translator cost: $

Estimated cost:

We will need this form xxx days before each café in order to provide funds for that café. Please attach any receipts and

reimbursement forms with this worksheet.

Total Estimated Budget for this Café: _______________

Amount needed in advance: ______________

Total Actually Spent: __________________________

Approved by: _____________________________________ Date: _______________

Host Leader

© Kokua Springs

Reimbursement Form

Name: Café Site:

Mailing Address: Phone:

Stipend Hours:

Date Time Amount

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mileage

Date To/From what location Mileage

_________________________________

Other Expenses (childcare, supplies, food, etc.)

Date Description Cost

Signature Date ______________________

Requested By: _____________________________________________________________

Reimbursement Paid to: ____________________________________________________

Signature (Required if given cash)

Amount: _______________

Signature: __________________________________ Date: _____________________

Paid By

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that

Matter

Hosts

Name/Address

Phone Email Round

Trip

Miles

Date Date Date Date Date Date

Community Café: Changing the Lives of Children through Conversations that Matter

The Harvest

Date:

Location:

What questions were used at this Café?

Document: What are you taking home from tonight’s café?

How many participants?

What Community Partners were there?

How many children?

Handouts

The Low Road By Marge Piercy

What can they do to you?

Whatever they want.

They can set you up, bust you,

they can break your fingers,

burn your brain with electricity,

blur you with drugs till you

can’t walk, can’t remember.

they can take away your children,

wall up your lover;

they can do anything you can’t stop

them doing.

How can you stop them?

Alone you can fight, you can refuse.

You can take whatever revenge you can

But they roll right over you.

But two people fighting back to back

can cut through a mob

a snake-dancing fire

can break a cordon,

termites can bring down a mansion

Two people can keep each other sane

can give support, conviction,

love, massage, hope, sex.

Three people are a delegation

a cell, a wedge.

With four you can play games

and start a collective.

With six you can rent a whole house

have pie for dinner with no seconds

and make your own music.

Thirteen makes a circle,

a hundred fill a hall.

A thousand have solidarity

and your own newsletter;

ten thousand community

and your own papers;

a hundred thousand,

a network of communities;

a million our own world.

It goes one at a time.

It starts when you care to act.

It starts when you do it again

after they say no.

It starts when you say we

and know who you mean;

and each day you mean

one more.

FAMILIES NEED ALL OF THESE TO THRIVE! Protective Factors with Sample Café Questions

I WILL CONTINUE TO

HAVE COURAGE DURING STRESS

OR AFTER A CRISIS (PARENTAL

RESILIENCY)

Questions about hope:

Think about a challenging time in your family.

What made you feel proud of your family in

that situation

What gives you courage during trying times?

How do you keep it going?

I AM CURIOUS AND

RESPONSIVE TO WHAT MY

CHILDREN NEED (ADEQUATE

KNOWLEDGE OF PARENTING

CHILD DEVELOPMENT)

Questions on curiosity:

What surprised me as a parent?

What has challenged you to learn more?

MY FAMILY HAS

ACCESS TO BASIC NEEDS (ACCESS

TO CONCRETE SUPPORT IN TIMES

OF NEED, INCLUDING ACCESS TO

NECESSARY SERVICES, SUCH AS

MENTAL HEALTH)

Questions about health:

How can all families get their needs met, not just

families who know how the system works?

Describe a time when your family or your child

had a need that you could not meet. How did

that feel? How do you think it affected your

child?

I HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME, FRIENDS, AND AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO SUPPORTS MY PARENTING (AN ARRAY OF SOCIAL CONNECTIONS) Questions about community:

Who can you count on and why?

What in your family history or culture makes it difficult or easy to ask for help?

MY CHILD FEELS LOVED, A SENSE OF BELONGING, AND CAN GET ALONG WITH OTHERS (HEALTHY SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT) Questions about compassion:

What does social and emotional wellbeing look like for my child?

What builds a sense of belonging for my child?

Actions are the Tip of the Iceberg

Adapted from: Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Guilford Press, 1997.

Practices of

Exemplary Leaders

Challenging the Process

Searching for Opportunities Experimenting

Inspiring a Shared Vision

Envisioning the Future Enlisting Others

Sparking Others to Act

Fostering Collaboration Strengthening Others

Modeling the Way

Setting an Example Planning Small Wins

Encouraging the Heart

Recognizing Contributions Celebrating Accomplishments

Adapted from: © 1995 The Leadership Challenge, by Posner and Kouzes

Café Questions

Think of a time when you acted as a

leader to accomplish your goals . . .

What did your actions look like?

Who helped?

Adapted from c. 1988 by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

Parent Partnership

Development

Self Leadership

Observer & Participant

Community Leader

Mentor

Your Own Additions

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~ (The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)

Web archive of Panhala postings: www.panhala.net/Archive/Index.html

To subscribe to Panhala, send a blank email to Panhala-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

The Low Road by Marge Piercy

What can they do to you?

Whatever they want.

They can set you up, bust you,

they can break your fingers,

burn your brain with electricity,

blur you with drugs till you

can’t walk, can’t remember.

they can take away your children,

wall up your lover;

they can do anything you can’t stop

them doing.

How can you stop them?

Alone you can fight, you can refuse.

You can take whatever revenge you

can

But they roll right over you.

But two people fighting back to

back

can cut through a mob

a snake-dancing fire

can break a cordon,

termites can bring down a mansion

Two people can keep each other

sane

can give support, conviction,

love, massage, hope, sex.

Three people are a delegation

a cell, a wedge.

With four you can play games

and start a collective.

With six you can rent a whole house

have pie for dinner with no seconds

and make your own music.

Thirteen makes a circle,

a hundred fill a hall.

A thousand have solidarity

and your own newsletter;

ten thousand community

and your own papers;

a hundred thousand,

a network of communities;

a million our own world.

It goes one at a time.

It starts when you care to act.

It starts when you do it again

after they say no.

It starts when you say we

and know who you mean;

and each day you mean

one more.

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver

published by Atlantic Monthly Press

© Mary Oliver

Community Cafés: Changing the Lives of Children One Conversation at a Time

Gratitude

The writings in this guide and the activities of the Community Cafés represent the collective

wisdom of the thousands of stories that were offered as gifts so we could learn from them.

We stand on the shoulders of our ancestors and the generations before us who not only shared

their stories but sacrificed life and substance so we could have a voice. Guidance from Dr.

Martin Luther King helped us visualize “beloved community” and gave us the inspiration to say it

out loud. Our deepest gratitude goes to the members of the Thurston Community Health and

Safety Network (TCN), the National Alliance of Children’s Trust and Prevention Funds and the

Council for and Children and Families and their Strengthening Families Washington leadership

team who imagined possibilities and became our steadfast partners. We would like to thank

Ruth Harms (TCN,) in particular who worked diligently so that parent leaders and

neighborhoods could have governance over funding that would be spent in their neighborhoods.

Many have been our encouragers and generously coached and we would like to especially

recognize: Joan Sharp, Carolyn Abdullah, Steve Byers, Jean McIntosh, Judy Langford, Yoland

Trevino, Teresa Rafael, Lorrie Grevstad, and our families. The Community Café approach stays

grounded in its integrity because of you.

Resources

Here are some of the few resources we’ve used to guide our thinking and/or embody the

Community Café process. Please feel free to share your own resources, questions, harvests and

learning with the rest of the Community Café collaborative at thecommunitycafe@gmail.com.

o The World Café: Changing the World One Conversation at a Time by Juanita Brown

o “Strengthening Families Through Early Care and Education” by the Center for the Study of

Social Policy, www.cssp.org

o Community the Structure of Belonging by Peter Block for help on questions for cafés

o Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel

o Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard C. Schwartz

o ”Using Emergence to Take Social Innovation to Scale,” Margaret Wheatley and Deborah

Frieze or almost anything by Margaret Wheatley, especially the book Turning to One Another for help café questions

o Calling the Circle and Storycatcher by Christina Baldwin for help on how to use storytelling

effectively, www.peerspirit.org

o Ethics for a New Millennium by H.H. the Dalai Lama for an international view on what people

need to thrive

o The writings of Peter Senge (Society for Organizational Learning) regarding “learning

organizations” and systems change

o God Makes the Rivers to Flow: Selections from the Sacred Literature of the World Chosen

for Daily Meditation by Eknath Easwaran

o From Totems to Hip Hop, edited by Ishmael Reed for multicultural poetry

o www.decoloresbooks.com for multicultural books for kid cafés

o www.berkana.org for the Art of Hosting Training and the great articles including “Core

Practices of Life-Affirming Leaders” by Margaret Wheatley

o The Institute for Community Leadership, www.icleadership.org, for help with

transformations and leadership focused on youth and schools

o www.watersfoundation.org

o www.cssp.org

o www.ctfalliance.org

o www.theworldcafe.org

o www.abundantcommunity.com for a book and to connect to the collaborative work of John

McKnight and Peter Block

o www.youtube for multicultural songs if you want to practice singing before a café!