COMMANDMENTS TO HAPPINESS -...

COMMANDMENTS TO

HAPPINESS

KERRY GIRLING

This book is dedicated to my

wonderful children. May they find

happiness in abundance.

Table of Contents Introduction .............................................................................................. 1

Chapter 1: What is Happiness? .............................................................. 21

Chapter 2: A new life; a new perspective ............................................... 23

Chapter 3: Eliminating the negativity ..................................................... 28

Chapter 4: Increased confidence ............................................................ 30

Chapter 5: Materialism vs happiness ..................................................... 34

Chapter 6: End the resentment .............................................................. 40

Chapter 7: Values and beliefs ................................................................. 45

Chapter 8: Meditation ............................................................................ 49

Chapter 9: Spending your time wisely – living in the moment .............. 57

Chapter 10: The Law of Attraction ......................................................... 60

Chapter 11: Enjoy the ride ...................................................................... 69

Chapter 12: Giving to others .................................................................. 73

Chapter 14: Being Grateful ..................................................................... 77

Chapter 15: Accepting the happiness around you ................................. 82

Chapter 16: Accepting the opportunities around you ........................... 84

Chapter 17: Responsibilities vs priorities ............................................... 88

Chapter 18: Moderation ......................................................................... 91

Chapter 19: Making it count ................................................................... 95

Chapter 20: What do you want? ............................................................ 97

Commandments to Happiness

1

Introduction

Welcome to the Commandments to happiness. In the next 20

chapters, my aim is to teach you everything you need to bring an

abundance of happiness into your life. You are about to learn

from the master. Although I don't have extensive post-secondary

education or vast certifications of excellence, my talents and

experience are what makes me credible to attest to such a thing.

I'm not talking about any superhuman talents. I'm just talking

about the regular human talents we all harness. Those of which I

chose to take to their fullest extent. The wisdom within these

pages will surely help you find happiness in any realm, no matter

who you are or what hand you were dealt in life. Everything I’ve

learned about happiness and how to get it has been downloaded

into this book to help you live an ideal lifestyle full of abundant

pleasures.

Let’s get right to it.

I barely paid attention in grade school. I was one of those over-

active kids that were more of a hindrance to teaching. Although I

sat through all of my History, Math and English classes the

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majority of the time I was in my own head. Come to think of it, I

couldn’t recite a single line from Shakespeare, or tell you about

the World War, or even let you in on a simple problem-solving

equation, but understanding happiness – that’s my forte. While

my friends were learning about the periodical table, I was writing

and passing notes to the girl next to me. I remember my mother

telling me early in life to never let go of my imagination and to

take it to unbelievable heights. Maybe her words registered a

little more powerfully than I realized. I took my imagination to the

extreme, every day and I still do.

Your imagination is an important piece of the puzzle to happiness.

Probably the most important actually. Neglecting your

imagination is like eating take-out food three times a day, seven

days a week. It congests your perspective of reality and eliminates

any possibilities of becoming happy. Nobody wants to live in a

congested society, but so many out there suffer from this very

situation. Their minds are distracted by their own dissatisfaction.

Learning to control your imagination is the key to living a fulfilling

lifestyle. The best part is; nobody else is in charge of it but you.

When you get good at using it you can leverage your thoughts to

create a happier reality for yourself. With your imagination, there

are absolutely no height restrictions or limitations. The only thing

stopping you from tapping into it is your own judgment.


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Happiness looks different for everyone because we all see reality

differently. Amongst all the characteristics of happiness, the only

two that are identical between us are; we all wish for happiness

and neither of us wants to suffer. Everything else is just mumbo-

jumbo lifestyle filler; things to keep our minds busy. Those who

believe in happiness are those who will achieve it. Either way,

each of us moves forward facing daily obstacles. These obstacles

create both opportunities and limitations. Some become defeated

and lose their confidence when facing them, whereas, others

embrace each obstacle as a learning experience and use it as

leverage to make further advancement in their lives, thus being

able to lead the game of life. Some hold onto their past

experiences and dwell in the negativity. These people seem to

have very little happiness, while others gravitate towards their

future while living in the moment. No matter how aggressive we

approach the game of life, it’s important to accept it for what it is;

an opportunity to be happy.

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Life is a board game

Life for many can be bleak, boring and full of limitations. Some

feel worthless; while others wake up each day with a satisfying

feeling they were given life in the first place. Being grateful is no

common ground for these two people. One gravitates towards

positivity because they expel it, while the other attracts only

negative influences and experiences because they radiate

negativity. In fact, for those that attract only the negative; they’re

filled with an abundance of limitations and inner obstacles which

makes it even more difficult to become enlightened. They reek of

inner sadness, remorse and anger; and nobody can force them

out of their dull cave of emptiness. Whereas, those that wake up

eagerly for the day to begin; excited to approach their new

experiences; they are the happy ones. These people create daily

goals that make the game of life more interesting. They plan their

lives for success – financially, spiritually and for their families. The

difference between the two is quite drastic. One is constantly

embraced with an outer security shell, while the other isn’t even

protected by its own master. Their inner confidence is like night

and day in comparison and their perspective of how they see the

world is completely opposite. The main difference between the


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two is this; one will achieve a heightened level of gratification

through their experiences, while the other is missing so many

fundamentals, it’s likely their souls will die inside well before they

pass away in real life. It’s actually quite sad.

By looking at life in terms of a board game, one can see the

differences between the two types of players. One looks at life as

an opportunity, while the other looks at it as an ongoing battle

filled with harshness. It’s evident the negative thinkers will only

continue to bring upon negative results because their minds are

trained to look for only the negatives, while the positive goal

seeking people; they’re destined for happiness because their

minds are programmed for success. Each of us approaches life a

little differently.

Even though we’re all playing the same game, we make different

choices and learn different lessons. All in all, we’re trying to reach

the same place – enlightenment. Fortunately, for the people that

see the world as a positive environment filled with opportunity,

they’ll be placed amongst the higher realm of happiness, while

the people that constantly dwell upon the negativity in their lives,

they will continue the same bleak trek in life but with many more

struggles.

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Life can be very complex at times, especially when one is

overwhelmed with demands and responsibilities. Amongst the

complexity of life is fulfillment. In fact, even the negative

experiences in life include some positive aspects. As often as

we’re sent obstacles, we’re sent opportunities. These

opportunities come a lot easier for those that are enlightened,

however, they’re offered to everyone with the same magnitude.

Opportunities help us reach inner fulfillment. Without them, we

cannot foresee future success and happiness. Opportunities

surround our every movement in life; however, many fail to see

them because they’re wrapped up in their own defeated mindset.

Each experience we go through in life offers potential to open

opportunities. These come in the form of relationships, business

transactions and spiritual growth. No two experiences are the

same which means that no two opportunities are the same either.

In fact, our experiences affect us in the most profound ways.

Many times, it’s easy to differentiate between positive and

negative, however each experience, whether positive or negative

will provide some form of opportunity.

Sometimes our negative experiences provide us with the biggest

and best opportunities. In fact, we learn the best life lessons when


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we face defeat. When you’re ready for an opportunity it will

present itself to you, however, if you’re not ready for it your mind

won’t even notice the slightest opportunity. The truth is; when

you express your needs to the environment it will do what it takes

to position the right opportunity in front of you. Any religious or

spiritual believer knows this. It works the exact same in any

situation – a job, wealth, health, happiness or spiritual growth.

Experiences are neither positive nor negative, they just are. All

experiences can be looked at as both positive and negative. It all

depends on the perspective you see them through. One person

may see an experience as negative, whereas, another person may

find only positive qualities within the same experience. In fact,

some make a subliminal point to seek only the positive qualities

or only the negative traits within an experience. It all depends on

how their minds were trained in their upbringing. Thinking either

fully negatively or fully in positive terms can be detrimental to

your psyche. There needs to be a balanced way of thinking.

For example: If one is to look only for the positives in each

experience they will miss out on the many great lessons they

would’ve learned from the negative qualities. Every experience

harnesses both positive and negative qualities. Even the

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opportunities that seem one hundred percent positive in nature;

they too harness negative qualities and vice versa for negative

experiences. From this perspective, one begins to realize that life

is one hundred percent a game of mindset.

The Power of Thought

The first time I remember using the power of my mind towards

manifesting something physical was when I was in high school. I

was in an arm wrestling contest in grade eleven. Prior to that day,

I hadn’t been an avid arm wrestler. Mainly, I would arm wrestle

within my friends and brothers. It was a good way to relieve a

friendly argument. This reminds me of the tips my Father told me.

He always seemed to use arm wrestling as an analogy in our

discussions – as being a way to overcome defeat by using the

power of thought. Quite often he would say that arm wrestling

was a mindset game. I took his statements to heart when

challenging my opponents, much like I did with my mom’s

encouragement to imagine. Before preparing for an arm wrestle I

would envision success like my Father said. I would use his

statements as leverage to overcome defeat, no matter how big

the guy I was up against.


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Anyway, this specific arm wrestling contest was much different

than what I was used to. It was titled “The Super Bowl Arm

Wrestling Challenge” or something like that. It was a challenge

among eighteen people in grades 10-12; the best of the best. I

wasn’t used to an ongoing arm wrestling challenge. I was used to

just arm wrestling here and there whenever there was an

opportunity. This contest was during the lunch hour, so the

matches went quite quickly. The winner kept arm wrestling one

opponent after another. That person happened to be me.

I was the winner eight consecutive times. It wasn’t until the last

opponent came up that I realized how sore my arm was. I looked

at him and realized he was double my size. Truthfully he looked

double my age. Apparently, he was known to be the master of

arm wrestling. I was actually quite anxious about wrestling him.

Three minutes later I was fist-to-fist with him in the high school

gymnasium. As our fists were locked together about a hundred

spectators cheered us on. It was my most difficult arm wrestle to

date. While we both struggled at times, I believe it was my

thoughts that gave me the inspiration to exceed his strength and

win the challenge.

In remembering this experience I’ve gained new clarity about the

magnitude of our thoughts. They truly are the dictator of our

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happiness. You can gain an immense amount of clarity into your

own life if you harness the ability to control your thoughts.

Finding Happiness

It takes practice, motivation, inspiration, and a great deal of inner

strength to forge your way to happiness. Finding happiness takes

more than just “living in the moment” to achieve. It takes the

entire removal of one’s negative past history; delving deep into

their inner souls, locating the negative traits and replacing them

with positive ones. This comes through aggressive meditation and

spiritually tapping into your inner potential. It means believing in

yourself and trusting your abilities to achieve happiness in

abundance. Happiness comes to those who have a clear

perspective of what they’re looking for.

Some people are still complaining about what happened to them

yesterday, last year, last decade. They feel that if they hold onto

their past and constantly play images from their past they’ll live in

the comfort of it. But, they miss out on so many opportunities

that live in the present. Those that live in the moment embrace

each day as they come. They’re filled with a tremendous inner

relief because they take advantage of the opportunities when

they persist. Complainers have their minds set to focus on the

negative aspects of each situation. This only leads to unhappiness.


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Our initial perception of life and how we see reality is handed

down to us by our relatives and close influences. Their outlook

and suggestions are what made us think how we do today. Our

initial perceptions aren’t always the best possible way of looking

at any given subject. Some of our beliefs harness negative

qualities. This means; we need to constantly replace old limiting

beliefs to form new positive perceptions of our environment. The

way we see the world around us directly reflects the way we see

ourselves. It’s all connected to our values and beliefs. Those who

harness a negative view upon society will never be satisfied with

themselves, whereas; those who’ve forged through the negativity

and see the world as a wonderful place to live, they will reap the

opportunities and positive qualities that life offers. It’s all about

perspective.

Psychologists have studied the human mind for centuries. Their

discoveries have led to reveal many interesting facts about the

way our minds are programmed. Our minds are pretty much hard-

wired like any electronic module ever produced. In electronic

terms; the mind of the unit is called the motherboard which is

connected to various motors, transformers, resistors, light bulbs

and other organs of the unit. Information is sent to each organ

through wires or solder which tell them when to activate. Our

brains are no different. They’re literally designed in the same

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form; they’re just made of different materials. Using this analogy,

we’re able to see the simplicity of our minds, even though, the

mind can be quite complex when explored in depth.

As the computers life gets older parts wear out and need to be

replaced. Even its memory (Brain) will need to be replaced at

some point. Our bodies are no different. There are many factors

that contribute to the depletion of our body parts. The worst is

stress. This is generated through worry, hatred, anger and

negative thinking. Stress causes our lives to flounder. It increases

the chances of illness, sickness and limitations that we hold upon

ourselves. Continued stress equals disease.

Happiness is the only stress reliever known to man. Even thinking

in therapeutic terms, when one goes to the spa to relieve stress,

and say they receive various treatments to overcome their

stressful mind; with each treatment, whether it’s a massage,

pedicure or body wrap, this only starts the process to relief. In the

end, our minds are what relieves the stress altogether, not the

therapy itself. Even medications; they too are only tools to get the

healing process started. It’s our minds that alleviate the inner

tension. In fact, most sickness and illness is caused solely by your

daily thinking. It’s important to reprogram your mind to believe in

the possibilities rather than dwelling upon the past. This will allow


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you to move in a positive direction and embrace the current

moment – the only moment that’s important.

We will explore all of these lessons and more shortly. In the end,

everything is really about perspective. In business, in relationships

and in life. It’s all the same. Now, let’s explore the characteristics

of being happy.

Happiness runs through my veins

I’m swiftly driving on the freeway in my favorite city. My hair is

blowing in the wind. Hotel California plays at maximum volume.

Today is invigorating. My eyes are tired from lack of sleep but my

mindset is filled with more than enough energy to keep me

awake. A smirk is pasted to my face. With each mile I travel, my

mind is filled with more satisfying memories of my recent past.

These images are filled with thoughts of achievement; a life filled

with purpose. My excitement bonds my foot to the accelerator.

This is truly the best day of my life.

For a moment my mind was that I was in a daze; the kind that

could be fatal while driving in heavy traffic, but there wasn’t a

single car on the roadway. Not one negative thought surfaces my

mind. As I drive faster down the roadway my emotions excel – like

a rollercoaster that keeps going up and up and up. A heightened

sense of energy matches the happiness that runs through my

veins. I never knew life could feel this good.

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This feeling inside was what I was searching for five years.

Eliminating my regret, remorse, anger and resentment was truly

worth it. It truly paid off just in my new-found perspective of

reality. Back then, I was going through a devastating divorce that

corrupted my mind, but today was different. My smile pasted

from ear-to-ear was living proof that it was possible to find true

happiness, even after a catastrophe. All my adulthood I searched

for the perfect life; the life that many say can only be bought.

Others said it was impossible to achieve. These people couldn’t

speak further from the truth because what I feel now is

perfection. I’m blissfully coasting down the freeway in a peaceful

frame of mind – truly living in the moment.

As I merge into the off-ramp on Old Banff Coach road I start

feeling compassionate for all the suffering souls out there.

Random images of friends of mine who recently lost their jobs

from the recent Alberta Oil crisis cloud my mind. This instantly

interrupts my blissful state. It reminds me of all the others; those

just as damaged by sadness, resentment, anger and aggression.

People who truly hate their lives, or feel judged and discriminated

against. I feel guilty for my own happiness, but I also feel very

fortunate not to be a part of the negative cycle that so many have

already experienced. My life couldn’t feel more complete.


15

I am reminded by my thoughts in the days prior to this moment. It

was as though I was a psychic reading into the future because my

thoughts were filled with nothing but happiness. It reassured me

the law of attraction truly does work. In fact, I’ve never believed

so much in the law of attraction before. I am confident my

tweaked mindset was why I had generated so much happiness

recently; in business and in my personal life. Knowing this made

me feel confident in my ability to manifest anything in my dreams.

Today, I am completely satisfied with who I am as an individual;

inside and out. In fact, everything present in my life brings me

satisfaction. This is something I couldn’t even come close to

saying in years prior to today. This thought made me smile with

joy.

The Fresh warm air quickly passes through my vehicle. Hotel

California loudly plays on repeat. Images of my business and

personal successes remind me of the life that was never wasted.

Since eighteen my days were filled with passionate goal-seeking

accomplishments. This in itself makes me feel content with my

life. Failures only remind me of my aggressive attitude towards

success which I engrained into my mind. Images of my public

speaking days where I spent nearly three-quarters of my

adulthood run through my mind. This instantly makes me grateful.

The passing trees, the mountains in the distance and the moon

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that shines brightly above me are all perfect in their own way. It

all added to the perfection of the moment.

I took the longer way home. As I drive down the windy roads in

the countryside, I am reminded of my teenage years living on the

farm in Saskatchewan. Farm life was surely different than the

Suburban lifestyle of my closest friends. As my car climbed to the

peak of a hill in the countryside I could see the radiant mountain

tops of Canmore and Banff through my rear view mirror. They

were shining with perfection. Bright lights from Calgary’s

Southwest neighborhoods twinkled in front of me with the same

type of perfection. Nothing could stop the happiness from flowing

through my veins. I started singing loudly to the Eagles.

My life wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t long ago when I was at my

wits end wishing I had a better and less complex life. My lifestyle

was the furthest from perfection back then. Approximately six

years ago was discontentedly going through a divorce, barely

making ends meet working job to job. I spent more money trying

to find the right opportunity than actually making money to live.

The stresses drove me to lose my passion and zest for life. I felt

completely helpless and didn’t even know who I was. In addition,

Western Canada was in the midst of the worst economical crash

in history which sent my business down the toilet. I had absolutely

no freaking idea which way my life was going, and I didn’t have a


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clue what I was looking for. Perfection at that time felt further

than impossible.

After withering away my passion and most of my happiness, for

half a year, I forced myself to think positive. I needed to see life

from an entirely new perspective. I had to if I wanted to progress

in any positive manner. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I simply

knew the negativity in my life was eating away at my confidence

and everything that made me who I am. As I look back I realize

that even though this part of my life was difficult to go through, it

was an experience that enabled me to learn incredible life

lessons. It helped me become who I am today. Soon I didn’t have

to force positive thoughts into my mind. They came automatically.

Somehow, my intense desire to succeed enabled me to form the

life of perfection that I’m living now. This sounds a lot like the Law

of attraction.

As I drive closer to my home I imagine the days before I truly

knew myself. Back then, I never found my ideal opportunity

because I wasn’t looking in the right place. My mind shifted focus

from one opportunity to the next because I didn’t know what I

wanted. I barely knew what values and beliefs meant, which

meant my own values weren’t clear enough to bring me the type

of happiness I was looking for. My emotions were like a roller

coaster on steroids.“Nobody has a perfect life” circulated my

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thoughts. This simple statement triggered so many of my

emotions. I remembered all the times I’ve heard, “Nobody has a

perfect life.” In fact, it dragged me down and discouraged me for

so many years. Over the years, I let it soak into my every day

thoughts. It became a circulating self-defeating prophecy. But,

today was much different. No longer do I allow any of this

nonsense trigger my emotions in a negative manner.

As I drove through my community, my mind slowed down quite a

bit. I pulled into the garage, parked my car and sat in my seat for a

few minutes just absorbing the delight of the day. Flashbacks of

my lifetime successes generated feelings of fulfillment. I couldn’t

imagine another day with such bliss. I slammed my car door and

leaped into my house with intense joy and satisfaction. I quietly

chanted to myself, ‘today is an entirely new day; one that allows

me to choose how I spend and enjoy it.’ This was the mantra I told

myself every day for the past five years. I’m standing in my

kitchen in silence. The household couldn’t be any quieter. I take a

deep breath and breathe in the fresh feeling of inner peace. I

slowly walk upstairs while humming one of my favorite tunes. As I

get to the top of the stairs I enter the nursery to my right. At that

moment my senses heightened even further. I slowly look around

the room. The walls are filled with shelves piled with stuffed

animals and baby books. The aroma of brand new Ikea furniture


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reminds me of the hours of prep work my wife and I spent setting

all this stuff up. Prior to this day, I hadn’t really thought much

about the significance of this room. Family life back then was

usually the last thing on my mind, but today is much different. I

slowly crept up to the crib and glanced inside. Olivia, my six-[day

old newborn baby girl soundly sleeps. That smile from ear-to-ear

came back to me. A tear instantly came to my eye. I never realized

how quickly love could be formed for something. Only days ago

she was in her mother’s stomach and only a small figment in my

imagination, now she’s a life form like you and I. A huge smile

smeared across my face. This moment is unique and satisfying

altogether. My life feels perfect.

Life is all about perspective

In the coming chapters, I wish to teach you how to achieve

optimal lasting happiness. I’m not just talking about the kind of

happiness you get when you eat your favorite chocolate bar or

spend time at the cottage on the weekend. I’m talking about true

wholesome lasting happiness in abundance. Each of us has the

capabilities to attain it, but very few of us know where to look or

what to do to achieve it. It’s my pleasure to share my knowledge

of how I became happy with you. My simple strategies will help

you clarify the type of happiness that brings fulfillment into your

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own heart. Within these pages, you’ll have a very clear

understanding of what you need to do to achieve the life you’ve

dreamed about. You’ll see that happiness is truly all about

perspective.

KG Productions – Calgary Alberta, Canada – 2016 www.kerrygirling.com


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Chapter 1: What is Happiness?

Before we can configure your ideal happiness we need to first

take a look at what it means. Happiness means something

different to everyone. No two people on this planet perceive ideal

happiness the same. My career as a motivational speaker has led

me to experience many profound things in life. In fact, I've had

conversations with tens of thousands of people all across the

continent of every age. These conversations always surrounded

the same subject; what makes you happy? My findings have led

me to believe that happiness is different for everyone, but it all

resides in the same realm. It most definitely does not come in

materialistic form, and no, it cannot be purchased from a store.

To be honest, when it comes to finding happiness, I've heard

every answer in the book; from finding the ideal soul mate to

driving the nicest car on the block. These people were 100%

confident they would be truly happy when they have a

wholesome relationship with another human being or when they

press the accelerator of their dream car. I can assure you these

people are up against a rude awakening when they find out true

lasting happiness isn’t derived from any single relationship, or

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anything materialistic. It comes after generating a healthier

perspective.

What I’ve learned about happiness is this. Happiness is different

for everyone. It’s developed best when your core inner beliefs and

values are fully understood and respected. This means getting to

know your inner-self as much as you possibly can. It’s developed

through repetitive visualization, and also is achieved through

being grateful. It most definitely doesn’t surround negative

thinkers, nor does it come to those abusing others. Although it

may look like it comes from a store and experienced with

batteries, its arch nemesis lies within your transactions. It can be

brought to fruition through the law of attraction. In fact, the

seeker must have a true in-depth focus on what it actually is to

fully experience it. Happiness comes and goes. It’s a privilege, not

a right. If it isn’t appreciated it’ll dwindle too. It isn’t something

easily attained, but I can assure your effort will be worth your

while.

All of the tools needed to forge a happier life are within these

pages. Now that we’ve explored the aspects of ideal happiness

let’s delve deeper into them individually.


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Chapter 2: A new life; a new perspective

The largest obstacle standing in our way to happiness is our own

mindset.

I don’t often give away my secrets within the first few paragraphs

of the second chapter, but I’ve got to be honest with you,

perspective is the most important fundamental in achieving any

realm of happiness.

Life is an in-depth experience. It’s filled with plenty of emotional

and physical ups and downs and trials and triumphs. We all know

not every experience is positive. The reality is; YOU are the one

that defines whether an experience is positive or negative. The

truth is; life is all about perspective.

Happiness depends a lot on how you see reality. You’re never

going to get where you want to be without securing a good

positive perspective of reality. There are multiple ways to alter

your perspective. Many of which are listed in the pages ahead.

Below is an example of how perspective is a game-changer in

reality.

It’s a matter of perspective

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Example 1: A twelve-year-old child loses his father to a cancer-

related death and sees the experience as 100% negative. His

mindset is severely affected to the point he can no longer focus

on regular life situations. He has nightmares every night that wake

him in a panic. Graphic images of the pain and suffering his father

went through while battling cancer plasters his mindset with

sadness. He can’t handle it. He quickly loses interest in his

passions, and deep down inside he has resentment for not

spending quality time with his father. In fact, his happy memories

with his father are replaced by the resentment. He is a lost soul,

and down the road, he gets mixed up with negative influences,

quits school, becomes an intense drug abuser, and by the age of

fifteen attempts committing suicide trying to end his emotional

pain.

Let’s look at the same scenario with a different perspective. The

perspective of his Mother.

Example 2: His mother – someone who’s been a part of his

father’s life for over thirty years sees the very same situation

100% differently. In fact, she sees more positive in his death.

Although she’ll miss him dearly forever, she too awakes from the

very same nightmares her son gets, but her anxiety quickly

vanishes when she’s reminded that he is in a safe place; in


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heaven, or reincarnated again, or whatever she believes. This

sends a warm feeling through her body which comforts her in a

way that couldn’t be felt before when he was alive.The death of

her husband doesn’t hit her nearly as harsh as it hit her son simply

because she’s cultivated a healthier perspective of reality.

As you can see, Death is a rather dramatic situation to discuss. I

thought I would use it as an example to show you even in the

darkest stages of our lives there’s plenty of positives to pull.

Death is a common experience in all our lives. Whether you’ve

faced it yet or not, it’s inevitable you’ll experience the loss of a

loved one in your lifetime. In this instance, let’s compare the

positives versus the negatives.

Positives: He no longer suffers from pain from his Chemo

treatments anymore, I no longer have to deal with his negative

mindset anymore (he’s changed so much – it’s like he’s a

completely different person)

Negatives: He won’t be there to talk to anymore/He won’t be a

part of my life anymore.

It all depends on how you look at any given situation. Although it

isn’t an easy to grasp on to positives within Death, however, as

you can see (above) there are a few positives you can harness in

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this instance. There are positives in every situation, you just need

to open your mind to see them. Death is a great example to use

because so many negative emotions are stirred by simply just

discussing the matter, let alone actually experiencing it with

someone close to you. Again, not every experience is going to be

positive. It’s your choice to look at any given experience as a

positive or negative; it all depends on how willing you are to sway

your imagination. You can apply this strategy to any situation in

life.

Not one person amongst the nearly seven billion people on this

planet sees or experiences the same type of reality. This

knowledge should serve as incredible inspiration because it

means we’re all unique in our life patterns. This means YOU are

the creator of your own reality. YOU are in charge of your own

happiness. YOU are the one that determines whether a situation

is positive or negative. You can alter your reality through a slight

change in perspective.

Be the change you’re looking for in your life.

Exercise: Observing your daily choices

The first step: When you awake tomorrow morning jot down how

you feel. Are you excited to tend to your planned activities, or are

you dreading getting out of bed, repeatedly hitting the snooze


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bar?What motivates you to jump in the shower and start the day?

Your answers are an integral part of this activity.

The second step: At the end of the night make note of your daily

choices. Did you make the healthiest choices today? What would

you have done differently? What did you learn from your

experiences today?

Do this for at least one full week. When you’re focusing on the

larger, more impacting situations of each day, ask yourself why

you made each choice. What led you to choose it? Where did the

inspiration come from? And, what was the result? Ask yourself

questions like, was this a good choice or should I have chosen

something different? And, what would the best decision have

been? Asking these types of questions will help you clarify your

motives. Having clear motivation equals a genuine perspective of

what lies ahead.

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Chapter 3: Eliminating the negativity

Negativity is like a plague. Cancer is the best way to describe it. It

breeds from person to person and is extremely addictive. There’s

nothing good about it. Negativity has no purpose other than

defeating your mindset. It’s not only the opposite of possibility,

it’s detrimental to our mind, body and soul. The basis of this

message is; when it persists, get rid of it! Don’t let negativity ruin

your life. Your life it too important.

The best way to eliminate the negativity in your life is by getting

rid of negative people. This means; get rid of anyone that’s

consistently negative. Often times, their perspectives not only

clashes with our values, but they get ingrained in our everyday

regimen. We need to stop listening to their negative beliefs. We

need to stop seeing their negative habits. We need to stop

allowing their negative perspective of reality to deter us from

achieving our own optimal happiness. This means; get rid of them

altogether. This can be a difficult step to take, especially those

who’ve been in your life for quite some time. If the negative

influence is a family member, or close friend of the family try to

minimize the time you spend with them. Although their existence

may be comforting at times, their mentality will eventually wither


29

away your happiness. Negative people are like a cancerous plague

that eats away any lasting positivity in your life. They need to be

eliminated as soon as they’re recognized.

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Chapter 4: Increased confidence

Your imagination is the breeding ground for happiness.

Confidence is the driving force behind your imagination. Being

diligent in cultivating strong confidence will ensure you’ll be a

happy player in the game of life.

I believe confidence is the most underrated characteristic in life.

Without it, your life stays stagnant and underdeveloped. But,

who’s to blame; they don’t teach about confidence in the regular

school curriculum, do they?

Often times, lack of confidence comes from continuous negative

self-talk. Generally, this negative discussion stems from actions or

words transferred from other people. Unfortunately, this type of

interaction only serves as a roadblock to achieving your ideal

lifestyle. The good news is; once this issue is determined YOU

have the opportunity to alter your perspective.

Exercise: Eliminate the negative self-talk

How often do you tell yourself you aren’t good enough? How

often do you let your (or other people’s) words discriminate

against your passion and hobbies? How do you feel when you give

up on your passions? How long have you felt this way for? You


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need to end this negative self-talk right now. It’s not helping you

achieve anything but a mediocre lifestyle.

Negative self-talk is usually derived from neighboring beliefs of

your ancestors and closest influences. They ingrained this

negative self-talk into your mind earlier than you can probably

remember. Without realizing it, you held onto these self-defeating

thoughts well into your adult life, and you never understood why

your life is still mediocre because you keep reiterating them over

and over. The good news is; there’s plenty of ways to eliminate

the negative self-talk that dwindles your life’s mission.

Write a journal

Step one: Start writing a journal. You probably have a half-empty

pad of paper lying somewhere around your house just waiting to

be used. Over a series of five days, I want you to spend at least

fifteen minutes per day on this exercise. Each day jot down three

negative statements you believe about yourself. Write with as

much detail as possible. The details help with visualization.

Examples: There’s no point taking my hobbies to the next level

because my uncle told me it wasn’t realistic, or there’s no way I

can become a ___________, my father told me I wasn’t very

smart.

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Often times, we have no idea we harness these negative qualities.

This exercise will help you spot each of them. The truth is; nothing

can be changed unless it’s spotted first. Each negative statement

ingrained in your mentality is taking away from the ideal

perspective.

Step two: After the fifth day you’ll have a total of fifteen negative

statements written down. You may not realize you actually

harness fifteen negative statements in your mentality, but I guess

you’ll see in five days. You probably have more than that. Either

ways, the best thing you can do is start the process of elimination.

Writing them down will allow you to see them, feel them and

relieve them. Writing really is a great tool to relieve stresses and

anxiety. It allows you to tap into your imagination.

Pick one of the fifteen and work your way down the list one-by-

one. When you see the statement written down delve deep into

your inner emotions and feel the statement. Write down the

emotions you feel when you say the statement aloud. Now read

the statement five times simultaneously. Feel the same emotions

you felt when you last said the statement. As you experience

these emotions over and over your body and mind will generate

an immunity to them. Soon the immunity will make you feel

comfortable to tweak the statement to one that suits your current

lifestyle; a more positive one.


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Your negative self-talk can easily be eliminated. You first need to

find it. Now go and find that half-used journal under the couch.

You’ll be amazed how far you can tweak your perspective, simply

by journaling your thoughts.

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Chapter 5: Materialism vs happiness

Money doesn't offer lasting happiness. I can guarantee you this.

No millionaire has ever said that money is the root of their

happiness. If they have said this; they’ve forgotten about the

pleasures they received when their children were born or when

their son or daughter accomplished something of value. Perhaps,

when their friend asks them to be the best man or maid of honor

of their wedding. These are all great and simple pleasures that far

exceed what money can offer. Although, money is important to

live a fruitful lifestyle, we all have needs for friendships and non-

materialistic happiness. This brings me to the topic of materialism.

I've seen many of my own friends and family members; even

myself succumbing to materialism throughout the years,

however, when I finally understood the entire system behind my

slavery of it, I saw the answers that I was looking for. Materialism

blindly robs you of your happiness. It makes you feel broken

without it when you’re perfectly fine just the way you are.

Not only are we working our day jobs to maintain the rising cost

of living, we're also in a silent competition between everyone else

to achieve more of it. We work our asses off for bigger homes –

bigger than our friends. We starve ourselves from true happiness

to purchase more goods, rather than just simply seeing the


35

delight in the moment and by appreciating what we currently

have. We've even started competitions between our own siblings

to own more stuff. This form of competition only generates

feelings of unease and dissatisfaction.

Some of our early influences helped us paint a solid picture of

money; its effects and how important it is. Their actions showed

how they almost slaved themselves for it, for a measly lifestyle.

You can curve your beliefs against what you've already learned in

the past and use it as leverage to free yourself from being a slave

to materialism. There’s literally no need for it in your life.

Exercise: Live the simpler life

I don’t want the title of this exercise, “living a simpler life” reflect

getting rid of all the good stuff. This isn't a dietary book telling you

that you need to get rid of all the best qualities of your life; like

pizza and chocolate. Living a simpler life means eliminating your

excessive needs for materialistic stuff. When you are able to do

this, you will instantly create a simpler life and a happier one too.

Instantly, you'll be able to transfer your necessity for consumer

goods into more time with your friends and loved ones.

Happiness found through materialism is an illusion you see every

day; through your friends and neighbors eyes, even your own. Our

society has literally brain-washed us to think that the person who

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consumes the most is the winner. This type of perspective leaves

us feeling weak, inadequate and believing that we aren't good

enough because we don't have enough.

In your journal, document every time you succumb to

materialistic stuff. Basically, anything that’s not needed for your

survival eliminate altogether. Stop succumbing to impulse

purchases. Record every time you were persuaded to make an

impulse purchase. From the well-packaged gadget in the check-

out aisle at the grocery store to the seasonal sale of something

you won’t use untill next year. All of it is really useless when it

comes to generating happiness.

The next step is to stop going into malls and outlets stores

altogether. Many of our wasteful purchases are made in these

types of environments. One store entices us to shop at the next.

Even when we’re walking through the mall hallways we are

persuaded to buy things we don’t actually need. They’re filled

with unneeded stuff that’s not pertinent to your ideal lifestyle. If

you absolutely have to go to the mall for shopping, be sure to

park near the store you need to shop at specifically. This will allow

you to get in and out quickly with fewer distractions. Less stuff

equals less stress.

Money is an obsession that far too many people strive for with

the wrong intentions. Millions of humans run their own race for


37

fifty plus years playing a game; a competition with others, in

pursuit of greater assets, larger buildings and more luxuries. This

all sounds like a game of monopoly; something I played as a child

many times.

As I perceive life through the eyes of an opponent in the game of

monopoly, I begin to realize that it’s all about the person with

most wealth. In this game, there are absolutely no emotions,

children, marriages or vacations which make it a very lonely place.

Taking this all into account, it’s easy to say that nobody truly

wants to live in that type of environment. Although it may seem

like money is important to generate an enjoyable lifestyle, the

only thing that it actually generates is greed.

How valuable is money to you? How far will you go to grasp onto

it? How much time away from your family is acceptable for you to

earn it? These are all great questions to ask yourself while you're

on your pursuit to happiness. Sometimes we get caught in the

illusion of money; its value and what it does for us and we lose

focus of the important things; like relationships and raising our

children. We forget the joys that come from seeing a smile on our

children’s faces because we’re so focused on playing with our

phones, or making online purchases. We forget to realize that

happiness resides in the time we spend with our loved ones. It's

these things that create the true wealth in our lives.

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Money doesn't offer lasting happiness, nor does materialism. I can

guarantee you this. Although money is important to live a fruitful

lifestyle, we all have the need for friendships and non-

materialistic happiness; something that a typical game of

monopoly cannot offer. Viewing life beyond the eyes of a

businessman is best suited for those that want lasting happiness.

Exercise 2: How much is materialism affecting your life?

Take a walk through a local mall. Walk from one end to the other

while taking your time. Don’t be too rushed. Walk into each store

that seems appealing. Window-shop the ones that are moderately

interesting. Take some time to glance at the items on the shelves.

In each store try to find at least one item that you’d like to

purchase. Hold onto the item while you pace around the store.

Try to build the anticipation of actually purchasing and owning the

product. After you’ve finished pacing the isles in the store place

the item back on the shelf where it belongs and exit the store. As

you walk away ask yourself this series of questions:

1. What emotions am I feeling knowing I could’ve made the

purchase?

2. How bad did I want that item?

3. Is it essential I have that item?

4. Could I use my money in a more productive manner?

5. Is that item going to make me happier?


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Repeat this strategy in the next store. This exercise will allow you

to see that materialism really isn’t important in the realm of

happiness. It actually doesn’t even have a place in the happiness

puzzle. Soon you’ll be able to roam the hallways in the local mall

without the anticipation of purchasing anything at all.

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Chapter 6: End the resentment

Resentment is a plague that ruins happiness. In fact, not an ounce

of happiness can persist when it exists. The truth is; we all harness

some form of resentment. Generally, it’s towards an enemy in

your distant past; someone who has wronged you. Feelings of

frustration and anxiety probably form when you think of this

person. I’m sure you can think of at least a couple people who’ve

wronged you in some way. Often times, the hatred you have for

someone lasts well into adulthood. Even though you don’t

physically see the person in your adult years you still hang on to

the negative feelings he or she dealt you. Prolonged resentment

only generates unhappiness. The only way to eliminate it is to

deal with your feelings about the situation. This isn’t easy to

attain, but with increased effort, you can eliminate it altogether. A

mindset free from resentment and negativity will allow you to

restructure your sense of happiness and regain clarity in your life.

Stage 1: This exercise is built in three stages. It requires a direct

focus and journaling your past experiences, so get ready for an in-

depth experience. In a quiet comfortable place open your journal

to a clear page. In fact, pick a page closer to the middle of the

journal. This strategy allows you to bury your resentment deep in


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the pages you’ll probably never see again. Before you start writing

anything down you need to get your mind in a relaxed state. (For

breathing techniques please see Zero point meditation). With a

relaxed mindset and your heart rate at a balanced state try to

muster up any negative qualities from your past. Feel free to

delve deep into the beginning of your memory. Write down

everything that comes to your mind. This exercise may be difficult

at first, however, with increased practice, you’ll become a

professional. Try to form a list of ten negative qualities from your

past. There’s no specific order for this exercise. Just write it all

down.

To speed up the process, you might want to ask yourself the

following questions: Which friends have wronged me? Who has

wronged me within my family? When did I feel let down in my

past? Try to think of specific instances where you remember being

extremely upset with the outcome. Write down each experience

in point form, nothing more. When you write in point form you’re

able to focus on a variety of instances rather than just one

specific. This exercise may take some time. Don’t rush yourself.

You may choose to move onto Stage 2 of this exercise after you’ve

completed your list of ten, or you can choose to take a break and

come back to Stage 2 another day.

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Stage 2: When you’ve listed ten instances of resentment you can

move onto this stage. This stage allows you to delve into each

experience individually. In order to eliminate the negatives

qualities in your life, you’ll need a direct focus on each specific

issue.

This stage is the most in-depth part of the exercise. Please

understand that you’ll need to enlist a great deal of time into it.

During this portion of the exercise, you’ll gain incredible insight

about yourself. As you read through your ten issues you’ll realize

there’s a lot of work ahead to relieve the hostility that surrounds

you. The good news is; you’ve already started the process to

enlightenment. With a clear perspective on positive change,

you’re destined for happiness, as long as you stay determined to

complete this exercise.

Sometimes the relief from this exercise is enough for to some to

make an instant change. When you’re able to see how long an

issue has been standing in the way of your happiness your

motivation rises. This is where the magic happens.

Before you start this phase you’ll want to do some breathing

exercises to bring your mind to a relaxed state. Once this is

accomplished take a look at your list of ten resentments. Pick one

from the list and then turn the page. I want to make sure you’re


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only focusing on one specific issue at a time. More than that will

cloud your mind.

Label a page in your journal whatever you have titled your

resentment. Underneath the title I want you to start writing its

story. Write with as much detail as possible, and try to delve deep

into your inner emotions when writing this. I want you to envision

yourself reliving the experience altogether. Re-imagine what it

was like going through the experience. How did you feel? What

emotions played in your heart? Who was there and what was

said, or not said? Were you let down? If so, how were you let

down? I want you to gain a clear perspective of the situation as

possible so you can see exactly what triggered the resentment in

the first place.

When you relive an experience over and over you start to gain

immunity towards it. That’s exactly what I want for you to

accomplish with this exercise. I want you to relive the experience

so you can build immunity towards it. By writing a graphic, in

depth journal entry about your experience you’re defragging your

brain from any types of viruses that plagued your mindset

previously. By doing this exercise you’re giving yourself a mental

detox. When you’re finished you’ll feel a weight lifted off your

shoulders. It’ll feel like you just came from a relaxing vacation or

the Spa because the clutter will be eliminated for good.

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Stage 3: Repeat Stage 2 with each of your resentment issues. Go

through the list and pick one, then pick another, and another. By

the time you get through all ten you’ll see a dramatic change in

your perspective. The best part of perspective is that it

automatically adjusts to your current values, but only if the

person is resentment free. That’s the object of this exercise.

You’ll enjoy a better life when you’re resentment free. Positive

feelings can only breed in an environment that’s filled with joy

and appreciation. That’s why it’s so important to take a step back

here and there to assess the situation and cycle out the bad. This

can be done at any point in anyone’s life. When you do this you’ll

start appreciating your life more. You’ll start appreciating yourself

more, and you’ll start looking at other people in a kinder

perspective. The truth is; the only thing from stopping you from

living an ideal lifestyle is your own perspective.


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Chapter 7: Values and beliefs

Our personalities are built on a foundation of various personality

characteristics. There are approximately thirty different

characteristics. Examples of these characteristics: work ethic, self-

motivation, patience and self-esteem. These characteristics are

the same for everyone however, they range differently in

magnitude for each of us. This means that a quality like

confidence will rank differently compared to your siblings or

anyone else for that matter. In fact, no two people on this Planet

have the same compound of personality characteristics. This is

what makes reality intriguing. Values and beliefs are the driving

force behind our foundational personality characteristics.

Values are what help us differentiate what’s right and what’s

wrong. It helps us determine the best course of action when

dealing with a situation. Values help define our ethics and enable

us to be genuine wholesome individuals. Beliefs on the other

hand, are the heart of our decisions. Values and beliefs enable us

to overcome obstacles. They help us define ourselves from the

rest. Beliefs and values are an integral part of generating a healthy

perspective. In fact, they’re probably one the most important part

of the sequence.

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Now that you’ve already delved into your imaginative side you

should have a clear idea of where some of your beliefs and values

originated, and potentially how you can alter them to be more

effective. Having a clear perspective of your values and beliefs will

help you determine what’s most important in your life. It will

enable you to balance your priorities much easier. Our values and

beliefs are constantly adjusting to our ever-changing

environment. Remember, your initial values and beliefs were bred

through generations of influences. They were passed down to you

to help you, but they need to be reworked or eliminated

altogether because they only get in your way of finding happiness.

Your ill beliefs and values could be leading you astray. Be aware of

this so you can make necessary adjustments.

A variety of these exercises in this book will help you gain a clear

perspective of your values and beliefs which is an integral part of

moving forward. It takes a tremendous effort to adhere to new

beliefs, which means it’s just as difficult to maintain any specific

value as well. With a focused mindset, you’ll be off to the races

with a new found appreciation of life. However, if you aren’t

diligent in spending some time to erase the hurtful beliefs, you’ll

be stuck in a never-ending cycle of negativity or you’ll continue

struggling with the choices you constantly make. It’s all up to you.


47

Exercise: Who influences you?

Your closest influences are the backbone of our values and beliefs.

We succumb to seeing reality through the eyes of them. Every

time we interact with them we adhere more to their way of

thinking. By understanding this, we can be more aware that

technically we’re not living the reality we were meant to live. We

are living a mixed version of how our friends and family see it,

mixed with some of our own beliefs.

This exercise requires some brainstorming. In your journal,

number a list from 1-10. Leave a line between each number.

Write down the ten people you spend the most time with. Try to

list them in order of time spent with you. Now, beside each name

write how they contribute to your life as an influence. Although

it’s not always easy to distinguish, label them as either positive or

negative. If they’ve influenced you in a negative way once or twice

write them down as negative. If they’ve influenced you in a

positive way once or twice write them as positive. If they lie in

both positive and negative fields write them as a negative. The

more clarity you have within the negative aspects of your

relationships the easier it will be to find a solution.

As you complete this exercise, take a look at what you’ve written.

You can see how your life is really in the hands of your closest

influences. If you can’t already see this, then take an additional

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step and label every activity you’ve done with each of them over

the past two weeks. Label them based on the last few times you

hung around them. This may generate a completely different

perspective. Often times, people do actually change. That’s what

this book is all about, positive change. Sometimes you can actually

visually see and feel the change within people. That’s another

reason why life is so interesting. Reiterating the point; happiness

is really about perspective.

This exercise, like all the others, will take some time. Be diligent

enough to find the answers you’re looking for. Everything you’re

looking for is actually coded in the choices you’ve already made.

The more you search within yourself the better quality of answers

to the equation of life you’ll embrace. Happiness is really just

around the corner my friend.


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Chapter 8: Meditation

Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. Happiness is

something that’s brought on by the observer, not just given. It’s

something that needs your minds consistent focus and attention.

Once it comes it doesn’t just stay and never leaves. It is something

that needs ongoing cultivation. There are no manuals (other than

this one) telling you how to be happy. We aren’t taught in school

how to be happy. No professor has a class on happiness. The good

news, as you’ve already seen, is that there’s plenty of exercises to

help you gain happiness. One of which is meditation.

Our fast-paced society makes us forget about the important

aspects of our lives. Our children, friends, passions and desires are

withered away at the hands of the things we think will make us

happy; materialism and more money. In addition, technology has

wasted away our connection with our families. It’s ironic how

cellular phones disconnect us more than they bring us together.

Its primary focus is now on the games, apps, online tournaments,

and everything else the phone can do. The secondary function is

communication. Our lives are being wasted away slowly through

technology. We can see it in our news feeds, through television

ads, it even pops up on your home screen when you’re searching

the web. The time you spend on the technology in your pocket is

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what’s keeping you from finding happiness. Amongst the

busyness I recommend you meditate regularly to slow down life’s

pace.

Meditation serves some incredible health benefits, like increased

patience, decreased stress and prolonged happiness. It also allows

you to tap into your imagination which can enable endless

possibilities too. The truth about meditation is; it only serves

those who believe in the process and those who are patient.

When you are actively meditating, your body automatically starts

defragging (cleaning) the junk from your mindset. It’s the best

way to detoxify the plague that ruins your thoughts. There are a

variety of methods of meditation. It all depends on which style

makes you comfortable. I prefer to do most of my meditation

alone in my own home. I feel that public forums take away from

the experience because the meditation room is usually filled with

people. I feel like people are watching me while my eyes are

closed. This gives me slight anxiety and doesn’t allow me to tap

into my full meditative state. This is my personal opinion, and

perhaps something I just need to accept and deal with, but for

now, I appreciate the meditation from my home. Here is a simple

meditation exercise that will serve tremendous results.


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Exercise: Zero point meditation

Before I can teach the meditation itself, you need to understand

what Zero point actually means. Zero point is the short term for

Zero point energy field. We live in a physical world; in a three-

dimensional reality. In this 3D world everything, we understand is

split into two categories; matter and anti-matter. All matter in its

depth, including me and you vibrate at a certain frequency. Each

of us vibrates on a different level of frequency because our values,

beliefs and thoughts are entirely different.

If you hit a piano tuning fork against a solid object, a certain

vibration frequency will be emitted, depending on how hard you

hit it. You can actually hear the frequency at which it’s vibrating.

Humans have become evolved in a way they can be conscious of

their intelligent energy. The Zero point is a measurement of the

frequency your body and mind are vibrating at. Vibrating at a

higher frequency is important because you can only attract that of

which is vibrating at a similar frequency into your life. If you’re

vibrating at a low frequency there’s a good possibility you won’t

attract the positive change you were hoping to achieve before

you opened this book. By operating at a higher frequency you will

reap the rewards of happiness.

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The Zero point is a balanced state of consciousness. This is an

experience where you feel fully in the moment. It is a combined

state of zero emotion and zero thought. During this state you feel

connected only with your own personal energy. At this stage all

other energy in the environment around you starts to flow with

the rhythm of your energy rather than against you. Once this

exercise is completed your body and mind will feel an increased

state of energy and vitality. This exercise allows you to not only

tap into your Zero point energy, it also allows you to leverage it to

increase the possibilities in your life. With practise, you’ll actually

be able to manipulate and enhance your current energy.

Remember, when you’re operating at a higher frequency, better

people come into your life, more better-quality opportunities are

unfolded, and you become a much happier individual. Here’s how

you can tap into your own Zero point energy through meditation.

So, to begin let’s start with a simple energy exercise. Take both of

your palms and rub them together vigorously for about 30

seconds to one minute. Then stop abruptly. Feel the blood rushing

through your fingertips. You can feel the heat. That heat is energy.

Separate your palms parallel to each other, approximately an inch

apart. Gently move your hands closer, then further apart, closer,

then further apart. Repeat this pattern a couple of times. Observe

the feeling of the space between your hands. You can literally feel


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the energy transfer as your hands come closer together. This is

just a simple example that gives you a glimpse of your energy

field.

Now for the meditation.

Part 1 consists of a breathing exercise, Part 2 is a visualization

exercise, and Part 3 is the meditation.

Part 1: Find a quiet comfortable place and sit either crossed

legged or on a chair. Feet slightly apart with your palms facing

upward resting on your thighs. In order to assist with

concentration and getting the full benefit of this meditation, you

need to learn how to relax your body. Relaxing the body is an

important aspect in the meditation process. It’s important to relax

the body before you can relax your mind. Here we will use a type

of breathing called Yogic breathing.

Breathe in through your nose and let your stomach expand with

each breathe. Hold your breath for six seconds. Breathe out

through your mouth, and let your stomach fully deflate with each

breath. The attention should be on your stomach and not your

chest. Do as many reps as you need to get slightly tired.

Part 2: Grounding (visualization) is a very important part of the

process. More so than the breathing exercise. We all have built-up

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stress in our bodies. This stress runs through our veins until it’s

relieved. Imagine bottling up all your frustrations and not relieving

your emotions (the tension) until you have a negative

conversation with another person. You let it all out on him/her.

Maybe you even start crying. Fifteen minutes later it feels like you

came from the spa. You feel rejuvenated. This is considered

grounding. Grounding allows you to connect with the peace in

your own energy field. It allows you to visualize without being

scrutinized by yourself.

Stress impacts your life a lot more than you may realize. In fact,

most of the illnesses and sickness you’ll experience is due to a low

immune system. Your immune system is deficient because of the

bottled-up stress in your life. The stress came from the negative

conversations you’ve had with family and co-workers. It comes

from obstacles standing your way. Even the traffic on your way to

work affects your stress levels. Once you get a grasp on your

stress you’re able to excel your way to happiness. Let’s get back to

the exercise.

Zero-point meditation: Imagine a beam of light passing through

from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Also imagine

roots coming out of the ground. These roots are attached to your

feet. Imagine all the energy flowing through the beam of light,

from your head to your soles is free-flowing energy passing


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through you into the rest of the environment. Now release all

your emotions into the environment. Let the negativity you’ve

bottled up over the past few weeks fade from your consciousness

as you expel it. Fell these emotions leaving your body through the

beam of light. Feel it like lava flowing down past the roots

attached to your feet. At the same time, empty your mindset of

thought altogether. Imagine your thoughts being sucked away

through the beam of light flowing through you. Emotions out

downwards, thoughts out upwards. Expel them simultaneously.

This feeling alone is worth the effort you put into it. Initially, it

may take some time to register your thoughts and find the

comfort you need to move forward. With practise, this will come.

Do this continuously until you hear the sounds of your heart

pulsating through your chest.

Part 3: At this point, you have reached a vacuum of thoughts and

emotions and now ready for the next part of the process;

receiving the meditation. It will happen naturally. Just observe

and be still, and feel the energy around you. Just be present, live

in the moment and enjoy the process. Breathe slowly and relax.

Doing this regularly will increase your lifespan and help you

achieve things much easier. When your mind is free from toxins

your body fights off illness and stresses much easier. Less stress

equals more happiness.

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Attaining the connection to the Zero point will help your body and

mind to operate at an optimal vibration frequency. If this exercise

is done regularly your spiritual path with evolve quickly.


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Chapter 9: Spending your time wisely –

living in the moment

What I’ve learned from fatherhood is that time with family is

precious. It wasn’t until after my second daughter was born until I

saw how quickly my first daughter had grown. Luckily I made a

pact with myself before I had children – to live in the moment

when spending time with them. This is something I believe

everyone should live by.

Unfortunately, children are neglected more today than ever

before. The days where the Mother stayed at home raising the

children while the Father made the living are over. Nowadays,

Mothers are fighting to keep their families together. They

themselves are working two part-time jobs to fill the gap their

husband’s tiny pay cheques doesn’t cover. Our fast-paced

environment has driven us to want more stuff which makes

matters even worse. I won’t even get into the fact that

materialism has taken over our values. Our perspective of reality

has changed in the midst of all this.

After going through my divorce I realized that time at the office is

overrated and there’s no happiness without family time. Family

time can be quality time spent with friends as well. Spending

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quality time with anyone that makes you happy is worthwhile.

Nature has taught us there’s no fruit without it.

During my first marriage, I failed to realize that too much of my

focus was spent at the office and not enough was spent with my

wife. In fact, that was the driving force behind our breakup. The

second go-around in marriage reminded me how important family

time is. Thus, making a pact with myself to live in the moment

every time family is present. This tactic alone has brought my

happiness level up tenfold.

Exercise: How often do you live in the moment?

Living in the moment allows you to feel content with the life

you’re living. It enables you to see the pleasures of life that are

normally overlooked. We’ve all heard the statement “Live in the

moment,” but who actually tries it? How often do you live in the

moment?

This exercise is a great way for you to see the value in the things

around you that are often overlooked. You don’t necessarily need

to journal your thoughts unless you would like to.

In a quiet comfortable place, I want you to prepare yourself for

meditation. This means breathing exercises need to be

implemented first. As your breaths become long, and your mind

and body are in a relaxed state, I want you to fully live in the


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moment. Feel the moment; be a part of it, and appreciate it. You

do not have to close your eyes for this exercise, but you can do so

if you would like. With all your senses, try to be in the moment as

much as possible. That means to smell, taste and see the

environment around you. I want you to particularly take notice of

the things you wouldn’t normally focus on. Things like the flowers

in the garden, the warm air blowing your hair, the perfection of

the bugs crawling around the pavement, or anything that your

senses are attracted to.

If you’re writing your experience down on paper be sure not to

spend too much time on writing. I prefer you spend more time on

the actual visualization part of the exercise itself.

As you’re examining the environment around you breathe in the

smells of whatever is around you. Hear the sounds that around

you. Feel the texture of your fingertips. Try to absorb as much as

you can. Appreciate the moment in any manner possible, and be

grateful for the experience of life itself. There’s no better way to

experience happiness than actually living in the moment. Repeat

this exercise as much as you can. A Life spent in the moment is

better than any other.

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Chapter 10: The Law of Attraction

This topic has been explored more in the last decade than most.

In fact, it’s an active part of millions of people’s daily regimen. It’s

something that has brought more happiness than anything else. In

fact, it’s something I personally have adhered to like cement over

the past five years. It’s also a huge source of my own happiness.

Happiness isn’t something that will last forever unless it’s properly

cultivated. It’s made of properties that flounder quite quickly,

especially if it isn’t embraced. It’s like a driver’s license; a

privilege, not a right. You don’t actually own the happiness unless

you embrace it and respect it.

What do I mean by this?

Happiness doesn’t come in physical form. It’s a mental thing. It’s

something your mind creates from thin air. Well, not actually.

Happiness is generated from thoughts, but that’s all. If you don’t

take the time to visualize your goals in life or make an effort to

get to know yourself through properly understanding your

passions and ambitions, values and beliefs, etc, there’s very little

opportunity for you to embrace any realm of happiness.

Happiness comes to those who believe in themselves; those who

appreciate their lives, and those who are grateful. It doesn’t come

to those expecting it, or those ungrateful. Happiness however, is


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withdrawn from one who commits a crime, abuses others, or does

something against their own values and beliefs. One of the best

ways to visualize is to implement the Law of attraction.

It’s been agreed by hundreds of scientists across the Nation that

thoughts equal things. Although this may be tough to process, it’s

an integral part of the Law of attraction and bringing it to fruition.

With practise, you will develop a strong ability to bring your

thoughts into reality.

Often times, I like to think of life as a video game. The mechanics

are virtually the same. In fact, Google is one of the closest

synthetic forms of reality (the online search engine). It may sound

funny comparing our human reality with that on the computer

screen, but video game technology is really a synthetic form of

reality. In fact, there are endless options when producing these

video games because everything is possible. That’s the interesting

thing when comparing the two, the same goes with our human

lives; anything is possible.

Your reality is only as strong as your belief system. If you believe

you can achieve it, you will. If you don’t you won’t. Understanding

this will enable you to embrace more powerful forms of thought.

Think about it; your entire day is built on thoughts. Every aspect

of your life is generated through thought. Every decision you

make is based solely on the results of your thoughts. This in itself

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should entice you to start thinking more positive. Your life will not

process anything you do not believe. If you believe in the Law of

attraction it will work for you. If you don’t it won’t.

Exercise: Envisioning your ideals

This exercise requires the willingness to explore your mindset.

The Law of attraction is based on the belief that your thoughts are

in direct reflection to the results you experience. This means; if

you think positive you’ll reap positive rewards, however the

opposite is true for negative thinking. If negative thoughts enter

your mind you’ll flounder in negativity. I want you to take this

information in and absorb it as though it were 100% tested, tried

and true because it has been. In fact, the Law of attraction has

been assisting people to happiness for plenty of decades. It’s only

recently been brought to public light. It works. You just need to let

it work for you.

Let’s start with a simple exercise that will introduce you to the

Law of attraction. This technique is a visual exercise that’ll help

you tap into your imagination which will allow you to alter the

outcome of your future reality. I know it sounds a little too

outrageous to believe, however those who believe in the Law of

attraction are those living fulfilling lives, remember?


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First of all, find a nice quiet, comfortable place where you can

relax. Somewhere out of the way of noisy distractions. You don’t

need any props, just your mindset. Ideally, implementing

breathing exercises before and after this experience is

recommended; however, due to simplicity let’s skip the breathing

stuff. Okay, imagine your ideal lifestyle. What does it look like? I

want you to delve as deep as you can with this one. Imagine your

ideal lifestyle. How old are you in your vision? Get as detailed as

possible. Do you have any kids? If so, what are their names? What

kind of career are you fulfilling? Take it a step further … what kind

of money do you make? Are there any materialistic items, like a

fancy car, or houseboat that you’ve added to your ideal image?

Even think of the simplistic details. The ones you already

overlooked. Are there any pets in the picture? Where do you live?

Don’t just pick any house, imagine your most desired home. The

one you saw the other day that made you gawk and awe as you

drove by. Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty of it all. What type of

coworkers do you work with? Who are your closest influences?

What types of hobbies and passions do you fulfill? I think you get

the point.

The Law of attraction takes intense dedication and belief to be

brought to fruition. Without the intense desire and belief in its

possibilities, you’re destined to fail before you even start. The

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more you practice the more rewards you’ll experience. This is a

fun activity that will allow you to explore your imagination into

great depths. When was the last time you tapped into your

imagination this actively?

The law of attraction helps you excel at your goals and ambitions.

It’s the easiest way to keep track of your efforts in achieving

optimal happiness. You are only one that can visualize your

thoughts. This means; you’re the only one that can leverage the

effect of your thoughts. By taking the law of attraction seriously

you’re ahead of those that resist. It makes complete sense that

thoughts equal things. This is why it has already helped numerous

people excel in all areas of life. Those that resist its power will,

unfortunately, continue living in mediocrity. I encourage you to

take the Law of attraction seriously for at least thirty days. I

guarantee you’ll be amazed at the results.

I remember one of the first times when the law of attraction

worked for me. Here’s the story.

My Soul-mate search

I had just ended a relationship with my first wife in September of

2010.We were separated for divorce. I felt lost and insignificant

because I had lost my companion; the person I leaned on for

support and the one that had been there with me for the past

seven years. Instantly I felt distant from society. It felt like I had


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lost everything I had worked towards. In fact, all of my previous

accomplishments felt insignificant too.

A couple of days after our break-up, some of my friends were

trying to boost my spirits up because they saw how much of a

negative toll the separation had taken on me. At first, they

seemed like they were joking as they introduced me to an online

dating site that offered the possibility of finding the perfect soul

mate. I immediately thought it was a stupid idea however after

talking to a few people around the table who had already

witnessed positive results from it, I decided to look at it with a

little more depth.

When I got home that evening, I rushed to my computer and

turned it on. I had no idea what to do from there. I asked a friend

to come over to help. In less than an hour later, I had an active

online dating account. It was kind of awkward at first, as I scrolled

through all the various profiles. It felt like I was a customer at the

grocery store looking for the best cut of beef (Okay, bad analogy),

but I soon learned the algorithm of the online dating world, and I

was well on my way to finding my perfect soul mate – at least

that’s what they guaranteed.

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After a few hours, I had read over a few dozen profiles. I then put

the computer aside and pondered my thoughts about the whole

online dating situation. I knew there were negative aspects to the

realm, like having to financially afford the multiple dates and

finding the time for it all; all of which seemed to be a hindrance,

but I soon dismissed those thoughts altogether, turned my

computer back on and continued searching more online profiles.

It got addictive quickly.

After eliminating all negativity from my mind, I grabbed a piece of

paper and pen and jotted down every feature I wanted my perfect

soul mate to have; like passion, charisma, sense of humour, etc.

My list soon turned into a novel. I went into the great depths and

wrote down every single thing that was important to me within a

relationship. I no longer wanted to see failure in my close

relationships. I was tired of seeing divorce in my perspective. I

wanted to alter my happiness to a healthier state.This meant

healthier relationships. I desperately needed to find someone

who shared similar beliefs and values. Someone that would

support my beliefs and encourage me to be the best I could be. I

scribbled with my pen for hours. I wrote until I was tired of

writing.


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After vigorously playing the happiness picture in my mind, I finally

had a clear image of happiness; at least within a relationship. As I

went through the hundreds of profiles thereafter, I listened to my

instincts which told me who to contact. Four days later I met my

exact description – Melanie. It's been five and a half years since

we met and I can say that I am happily married to my best friend.

We now have two wonderful children together. They surely add

to my happiness.

Experiencing Melanie as my best friend has already been an

incredible experience. We share the same goals, similar beliefs

and we encourage each other on a regular basis. Life with her is

exciting and passionate. After she came into my life I was sold on

the law of attraction. I knew that if I found her with the power of

my thoughts then I could use the same principles for my other

desires.

You too can experience similar results in your life if you let the

Law of attraction work for you. You are the creator of your own

destiny. You are the one that calls the shots in your life. Be

proactive and don't let time pass by too quickly without trying to

find your ideal happiness. With a little effort you can find your

passion, and with consistent effort, you can take your passion to

unbelievable heights. That passion, whatever it is, can be found by

visualizing and allowing the Law of attraction to manifest your

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visions. Your deepest desires are waiting for you. The

environment acts the same as it does for everyone. If you use

your thoughts efficiently and you grasp onto the opportunities

that come to you, you’ll bring happiness in abundance.


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Chapter 11: Enjoy the ride

All too often we get caught up in the results when developing our

dreams. We forget that the best part of the experience is the

process itself.

The first step in achieving anything, aside from imagining it, is

taking action. Many miss out on the actual “happy” part of the

experience when they do take action because they’re blinded by

their future expectations. They feel that accomplishment equals

happiness, and anything less is sub-par. There’s actually quite a bit

of happiness within our goals – not only when they’re reached,

but when you’re reaching them.

Enjoy the ride when in pursuit towards happiness. There’s a ton of

untapped happiness in your journey to reaching your goals. Your

inspiration will perspire when you do. Often times, we reach a

goal and become disappointed, or we get afraid of the future

because we haven’t enlisted any new goals. Find the happiness

that resides in your everyday experiences on the journey to your

ideal lifestyle, rather than just focusing on the end result,

otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be eighty years old in your

rocking chair wishing you had have appreciated, respected and

enjoyed the ride.

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Enjoying the ride is like living in the moment. The more you

practice it the happier you’ll be.

Exercise: Eliminating the need to be perfect

Society teaches us less than perfection is weak. We see television

ads every day that “guarantee” a better life upon purchasing their

products. The images portrayed in these commercials show

youthful, hard-bodied individuals with perfect white teeth and

extremely well dressed. What they don’t show in these ads are

the numerous plastic surgeries these models have had, or the

amount of money they spent on facial and body products to make

them look this good, or their intense workout regimen. They paint

a solid picture that nothing but perfection should be accepted.

This, of course, reiterates a message that reaches our youth in a

negative way. It depletes their values and deflates their ambition.

It makes them feel less than adequate. Our youth aren’t only the

ones affected by them. In fact, all of humanity is affected. It isn’t

only television commercials that are the concern. This delves deep

into the marketing budgets of the top executives that spend

billions of dollars on understanding the psychology of consumers.

This gives them leverage over us because their marketing dollars

tell them exactly where we live, what we buy, what we do, what

our interests are, etc. All too often we get blinded by our need to


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be and look perfect. Our beliefs are set to think that happiness

resides in the purchases we make. After the blindness sets in we

get disappointed by our purchases because they failed to serve us

the type of happiness the radio ads promised.

Don’t get sucked into the realm of unhappiness by following the

crowd. Nobody needs anything that’s advertised on television.

Nobody! Materialism is just a quick fix to our unhappiness

because the more you own means more possibilities of things

breaking. Think about it; if you owned a ten thousand square foot

mansion, had a collection of fifteen cars, had eleven children and

managed ten companies, there’s a good chance you would get

extremely overwhelmed. Often times, more things just mean

more dissatisfaction. This is an example where abundance isn’t

always the best.

Commercials are a part of the plague that ruins our society.

They’re filled with negative messages that deplete our happiness,

and they do nothing but make us feel inadequate. Don’t let them

plague your mind and forget about what’s truly important.

Perfection only distracts you from enjoying the ride.Stop believing

you need to be perfect in any area of your life. I can surely tell you

that nobody’s perfect. I can personally attest that even though

I’ve been a motivational speaker for over fifteen years, I am not

perfect nor will I ever be. The same goes for anything in my life.

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The same goes for you too. Neither of us is perfect in any way. If

something seems perfect it just means you’re not seeing the

imperfections underneath. Imperfections are the beauty of life.

You just need to see them that way.

Pay attention to how many advertisements you come across in

the next few days that portray perfection. How many of their

messages subliminally tell you-you're going to be happier after

purchasing their products or services? A simple count will suffice.

This is a simple exercise to help you realize how much of our mind

is influenced to think in the realm of perfection.


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Chapter 12: Giving to others

All my life I’ve fathomed being in the limelight. Since a young age,

I’ve been fascinated by celebrity. For some reason, I’ve believed

that celebrities live better than typical civilians. Maybe it was in

the advertisements. The perfection was easy to see. It always

seemed like they had something the rest don’t. They had to; it

showed in their smiles, through their crafts and passions, in

magazines and television ads. I then realized it was all in the

hands of marketing gurus that place a synthetic image of what

celebrity entails. As a matter of fact, I was so enthralled with

becoming a celebrity that I went to great depths trying to learn

about it from every aspect. I wanted to see if they truly did live

better lives than us. I wanted to see if they truly were happier

people. My findings are quite interesting.

I can assure you being a celebrity isn’t what it seems to be. It’s not

exactly how they paint it on your television screen. In fact, in my

trek to becoming a limelight sensation I’ve come across numerous

celebrities from all walks in the entertainment industry. Back in

my twenties, my main focus was studying celebrity. I read

countless biographies and even moved to Toronto, Vancouver and

Los Angeles to find it. My research showed only more frustration,

less privacy and less time to do what you really want to do. I

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found the majority of celebrities are less than satisfied people.

They’re constantly on the watch; every time they leave their

household they’re watched. Heck, they’re even videotaped and

photographed while they’re in their homes. What I did learn was

this; almost every celebrity I came across stated that the most

important quality needed to reach true lasting happiness is giving

to others.

Exercise: Give to others

There’s a lot of happiness in giving to others. There have actually

been studies done on the effects of giving to others. These tests

recorded the types of feelings one has when they help another

person. The results are quite shocking. In fact, they’ve concluded

that endorphins and other feel-good receptors are released into

the bloodstream at a rapid rate after doing good for society. I

believe giving to others happens to be the most overlooked

quality in the human race.

In your journal jot down a list of seven things you can do good for

society. This exercise will take some visualization. By now you

should be a near expert. Think of the things you can do to help a

family member in need, or the neighbor across the street, or the

friend that’s heartbroken. It doesn’t matter who you’re doing the

random act of kindness for, you just need to have a clear idea


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what each good deed is. Think of the simple things you can do,

like shoveling someone’s walkway without telling them, or

offering to babysit somebody’s kids knowing they need a break, or

simply bringing coffee and doughnuts into the office. Each small

good deed will go a long way, especially if it isn’t expected. Try to

make them more in depth than just holding a door open for

someone. The larger the deed the more you’ll benefit. Once you

have your list of seven, assign a weekday to accomplish each of

them. This exercise will take some time and physical effort on

your end, so be ready for it. Each day for the next full week enlist

yourself to accomplish one good deed off the list. This will fill your

Karma bank with funds that’ll propel your happiness quickly.

Exercise 2: Build your Karma bank

Karma means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual

principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an

individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and

good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while

bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future

suffering. Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in

many schools of Asian religions. In these schools, karma in the

present affects one's future in the current life, as well as the

nature and quality of future lives.

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I like to explain Karma the following way. Each of us has a Karma

bank (account). It works the exact same way as your typical bank

account however the transactions are in the irony of the decisions

you make in your life. For example: if you make a negative

decision in life you’ll instantly withdraw from your Karma account.

The opposite is true when you do something good for society in a

positive way. When this happens you actually make a deposit into

your Karma account. The more you have banked in your Karma

account the more benefits you’ll reap in life. If you’re in need of

positive reinforcement due to a catastrophic life event, however,

don’t have sufficient funds in your Karma account there’s very

little the environment around you can help you with. If however,

your Karma statement shows a surplus of Karma when you’re

facing a difficult life situation there’s plenty of possibilities the

environment will help you with. Just like your life savings, it’s

important to always be on the positive with your Karma account.

Life starts to get pretty risky when your Karma account is in the

overdraft. There are plenty of ways you can increase your Karma

account. Doing anything good for society or giving to others is the

easiest way to increase it.


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Chapter 14: Being Grateful

Being grateful is the simplest way to raise your happiness meter.

When you feel grateful for something your body emits hormones

that make you feel good. When you feel good your body operates

at a higher vibrational frequency. When you practise being

grateful you become more wholesome and your values match the

rhythm of your life’s tune. When this happens your happiness

meter skyrockets. Everyone, no matter who you are, has many

things to be grateful for. I use the term ‘things’ lightly because

‘things’ are generally perceived as materialistic objects. This is not

what I’m referring to. In fact, the less material grateful you are the

more wholesome you’ll be. Let’s focus on the more heartfelt

approach to being grateful.

It’s easy to be grateful for something physical, like your car, or the

home you live in. It’s easy because you can physically see the

object which makes it easy to feel the happy emotions they bring.

Unfortunately, materialism only causes more dissatisfaction.

Obviously the car and home are staples to managing a lifestyle in

today’s society. Well, maybe the house is a staple, the car could

technically be done without. The point that I’m trying to make is

that the materialistic items like the jewelry on your body, the toys

your children play with, the products companies across the global

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market to us, the faster car or bigger home, or even the greener

grass. None of this is needed to live an optimal life. In fact, many

of us get sucked into the tunnel of disappointment upon

purchasing these products. They simply will not make you happy,

period. Well, maybe for a short period, however, if you’re looking

for lasting happiness you’ll need to focus less on the materialistic

and more on the wholesome qualities of your life; like your

siblings, your career or passions. There are plenty of non-

materialistic things to be grateful for. You just need to tap into

your creativity.

The best thing you can do to maintain being grateful is to create a

mantra with the things you’re grateful for in life and repeat it

daily. I can assure you you’ll start to appreciate life more every

time you say it.

I say my grateful mantra at least three times per day every day. I

often start my days off by saying it in the shower. I’ll say it again

(in my head) on the way to work, and once again usually before I

go to sleep at night, or after supper. Nowadays, I know my mantra

like the back of my hand. I’ve said it to myself hundreds of times.

It’s already been ingrained into my mindset. In fact, often times,

as soon as I get into the shower in the morning my head instantly

starts reciting my mantra because my mind has been trained to


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recite it every I’m in that environment. Here’s how my mantra

goes:

I’m grateful for my mother and father. I’m grateful for my

brothers and sisters, friends and distant family. I’m grateful for my

two daughters; Sophia and Olivia. I’m grateful for my wife

Melanie, and all the opportunities that surround me every day.

Lastly, I’m grateful for the materialistic things that make my life

easier.

It’s simple to remember, and it makes me feel happier after

reciting it every time. I’ll either say my mantra aloud or inside my

head. It all depends on where I am. When I’m frustrated with

something in my life I’ll restate it. It allows me to stay level-

headed and balanced when I’m struck by a catastrophe. Note that

I left the materialistic stuff to the end of the mantra. Hint: The

fruit is in your relationships.

I recommend you write your own mantra. It’s super simple, and it

comes with many rewards. Here’s what you can do to start the

process.

When you’re meditating ask yourself this question, “What am I

grateful for in my life?” Test your mind to delve deep into the

reserves to find at least four qualities of your life (non-

materialistic) that you’re grateful for. When you find four write

them into a mantra similar to mine. Then practise saying the

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mantra to yourself at least three times every day. Soon, the magic

of your own happiness will unfold right in front of you, just by

being grateful.

Exercise: Positive focus

Another great way to raise your grateful meter is to complete a

positive focus. This exercise requires only that; your positive

focus. It’s a quick way to generate a healthy perspective on your

past. Here’s what you’re going to do.

In a quiet comfortable environment sit as though you were

getting ready to meditate. Take a few deep breaths to get ready.

Try to clear your mind as much as possible. If any negative

thoughts arise, try to eliminate them altogether. You need a

positive state for this exercise. When you’re ready, relax and think

back six months. In fast playback form, think of as many

experiences as you can that happened in that period of time. Sift

through all those images and find the accomplishments. This can

be anything from starting a relationship to launching a business

idea, being in the newspaper and everything in between. Focus on

your accomplishments and you’ll be delighted to see how many

happy memories exist within your mind, even just in the previous


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months. Be creative, and try to find at least six qualities; one for

each month.

When you reminisce about something that makes you happy it

builds confidence which is important for generating happiness.

Remembering some of your happy times gives you that solid

feeling that you’re on this Planet for a reason. This exercise is to

help you understand that everyone has something to be grateful

for in life, no matter who you are, or what hand you were dealt.

Being grateful is one of the easiest ways to generate happiness in

your heart. You can do this with a positive focus.

Kerry Girling

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Chapter 15: Accepting the happiness

around you

I remember the first time life served me happiness in abundance.

The vibration frequency of my mindset was optimal. I had recently

changed careers which proved to be a good choice. I really liked

my coworkers, and my personal relationships were better than

ever. My wife had recently given birth to our first child, Sophia. It

felt like I had a perfect life. It seemed like nothing could stand in

my way of my happiness.

Not long after, I started realizing how jealous my colleagues were

of my positive fortune. I started feeling uncomfortable discussing

my happiness with them because I knew it bothered them. I

shortly learned to stop discussing the positive things in my life.

Not too long after I started avoiding them altogether. It just felt

too uncomfortable. This experience made me realize that not

everyone is going to be on the same page as me. Not everyone is

going to appreciate the fact that I’m doing well. Amongst all the

naysayers and disbelievers there are plenty of people that respect

my happiness and want to see me grow. These are people I want

to surround myself around; people I can share my happiness with.


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Not too long after, I started feeling resentment towards my

colleagues. I felt they were damaging my mindset; almost trying

to kybosh my happiness. I started feeling like I wasn’t worth the

happiness I was feeling. I then started resenting myself and

started forging new thoughts in my mind; thoughts of

discouragement. This instantly eliminated my ambitions of

furthering my happiness. My happiness was reverted at the hands

of other people.

You can protect your happiness by never stopping to believe in

yourself. You are worthy of happiness in abundance. You just

need to see it. Don’t let others allow you to give up on your

dreams of becoming happy. When others are jealous of your

happiness, or if you’re being weighed down by their negativity, be

sure to find a healthier environment altogether. Their negativity

doesn’t deserve to be present in your life. If you’re passionate

about accomplishing something specific, don’t run out and tell

everyone about your mission. You need to be selective with the

people you discuss your ambitions with. Your goals can be shut

down in an instant. One small nasty comment about how you’re

going to fail is all that’s needed to persuade you to give up. Be

selective about who you share your vision with. Those that want

to see you achieve your goals are the ones you want to befriend.

Don’t let the negativity of others decide your happiness.

Kerry Girling

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Chapter 16: Accepting the opportunities

around you

The law of attraction is one very effective way to bring quality

results to your life. We explored this in previous chapters. When

practiced properly the Law of attraction generates life-changing

opportunities. When this happens you need to be sure to take

advantage of these opportunities they persist.

You see it in movies all the time. Mostly in comedies. Everyone’s

seen the scene in Dumb and Dumber, at the end of the movie

when they’re hitchhiking down the highway wishing they had an

opportunity. Moments later a tour bus loaded with beautiful

women stops beside them. The bus door opens and a woman

says, “We are looking for a couple of guys to rub lotion on our

bodies for our photoshoots. Do you know where can find them?”

Jim Carrey’s response, “You’re in luck. There’s a town a few miles

back where you’re bound to find them.” As the bus leaves, they

continue to walk down the highway wishing for an ideal

opportunity. This is a clear example of a missed opportunity.

Opportunities are missed each and every day. In fact, each of our

decisions hold missed opportunities because each decision has

multiple outcomes. Who would’ve known if you had made the

other choice? I think about this question quite often actually.


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While I meditate I usually ask myself this question. It allows me to

look at the situation in multiple perspectives. In fact, when I’m

deciding to make a large choice in my life I always look at it from

as many angles as possible. This allows me to generate the most

appropriate choice based on my beliefs and values. Doing this also

helps so I don’t miss life’s opportunities.

Opportunities come in a variety of forms. They’re filled with

various experiences and provide endless possibilities. The best

part about them is; there’s a good chance you can rekindle

happiness through them. Opportunities allow us to transform our

mindset and strengthen our beliefs and values. They generate

new experiences and drive us to meet new people. They give us

better financial possibilities and allow us to excel at our passions.

Each and every opportunity provides a new way of looking at life.

All too often we miss opportunities that are staring us right in the

face because we’re distracted by our current reality. Life gets

comfortable quickly, and often times, we aren’t looking for

opportunities because we are so caught up in our everyday fiasco

of living. There’s no point in working towards positive change

unless you’re willing to look for the opportunities when they

present themselves. Opportunities exist when one is ready to

make positive change. My favorite quote explains this perfectly,

“When the student is ready to learn the teacher will be there.”

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Happiness resides in your missed opportunities. Don’t be naïve.

Be ready for the opportunities when they unfold themselves.

Exercise: Look for the opportunities

There are many missed opportunities within our everyday

movements. Often times we fail to see these opportunities

because we are so focused on what’s normal. The abnormalities,

which are opportunities disguised as discomfort are often

overlooked because they’re exactly that; uncomfortable. If you

haven’t already realized; this book's message is all about

perspective. It all depends on how you look at any given situation.

As mentioned, a tweaked perspective can lead you to happiness

quite quickly.

Over the next three weeks, I want you to focus on missed

opportunities. This is a visualization exercise that’ll help you see

the missing pieces of happiness that are staring directly at you.

When you wake up tomorrow, and for the next three weeks I

want you to focus on your daily activities. Primarily on the

abnormal things; things that aren’t a part of your everyday

regimen. Find abnormal changes in your plans that guide you on a

different path. I’m not talking about a change in traffic that forces

you a different direction to work. I’m talking about an experience

that changes your perspective about something. Perhaps a


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random email from a company offering you a new line of work, or

an overseas vacation that’s offered from a close friend, or even as

simple as a television program that inspires you to fulfill your

passion. These come to us to entice positive change in our lives.

They’re there to help us live better. It could be the girl or guy you

had a crush on way back that comes back into your life somehow

out of nowhere. These kinds of things are opportunities to

experience a new lifestyle; a new way of thinking. They’re there to

persuade us to a happier life. Make a mental note, or mark them

down in your journal when you come across them. But, most of

all, be sure to grasp onto them when they come into your life.

They’re to help you shift your perspective.

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Chapter 17: Responsibilities vs priorities

Our souls are driven by hundreds of characteristics. These

characteristics are the same for everyone however the potency of

each individual characteristic is entirely different. Although we’re

all made of the same matter, neither of us has the exact same

characteristic blend. This means neither of us is bound to any

specific lifestyle.

Each of us wants different things in life because we have

differentiating beliefs and values. This is what makes life

interesting. Life wouldn’t be very fun if we all wanted the exact

same things; the same lifestyle, the same dreams, the same

imagination, etc. Imagine what life would look like if everyone

was driving the exact same vehicle, fighting for the exact same

career, studying the exact same education. If this was the case I

can assure you humans would suffer from much more than

anxiety. Life itself simply wouldn’t be very appealing.

Ask yourself these questions, and be sure to write down

everything that comes to your mind. This exercise will teach you

more about yourself than you actually believed you knew.

1. How do I view the society around me?

2. How do I view myself? (Overall)

3. How do I view my friends and closest influences?


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4. What makes me happy? What makes me tick?

5. What are my passions?

6. How deserving am I of having a quality life?

7. What are my accomplishments?

8. What am I grateful for in life?

9. Who are my closest influences?

10. Which of my influences were negative?

11. What are three of my limiting beliefs?

12. Where did they come from?

Once you’ve completed this exercise you’ll view your current

perspective of reality a lot more clearly. This will enable you to

see the areas where positive change is needed. Getting to know

yourself is one of the fundamentals of becoming happy. I

recommend coming back to this exercise often. The more you

think about these questions the better you’ll understand yourself.

The better you get to know yourself the better your life will

be.With a new perspective, it’s easier to see where your priorities

are, and which ones need to be tweaked. Without a balanced

focus on your priorities, you’re destined for failure. This is why

this chapter is more important than you may realize. I bet you’re

thinking, this happiness thing is a lot more difficult than I thought.

Life is actually a lot more complicated than one would realize. It

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isn’t until we look into the logistics of all characteristics involved

in our lives when we realize how in-depth it actually is. Priorities

are another characteristic added to the realm.

Priorities define our accomplishments. They drive our mindset

away from danger. Well, most of the time. They label what’s most

important in our lives, and they persuade our thoughts too.

Without priorities, life wouldn’t be very organized. In fact, there

would be much turmoil and a lot of dissatisfaction because the

important things wouldn’t be looked after. As we all know, our

priorities need to be maintained and adjusted. Things like

spending time with family, friends, or working on your hobbies

and passions. These are all things that need to be maintained

because without them we’re nowhere.

If you break down your priorities you’ll see that your

responsibilities are an active key component. In fact, your

responsibilities are what shape your priorities. They help

determine what’s most important. In essence, they guide your

priorities. We all have responsibilities. These come in various

forms, but they’re all fairly similar amongst us. Responsibilities

keep us aligned. They allow us to see stay grounded from ill

activity. It’s important to balance them by prioritizing them. No

one responsibility should take the front line of your perspective. A

well-balanced perspective is one that brings happiness.


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Chapter 18: Moderation

“Everything within moderation.” This is an important motto to live

by.

Moderation allows us to stay balanced. Too much of anything is a

bad thing. It leads to addiction. I’ve personally seen friends and

close family members of my own whose lives have been spared

due to their addictions. Addictions rob us of happiness through

projecting a failed sense of happiness. Our addictions trick us

every time they persist. In fact, I’ve seen countless people driven

into the depths of negativityat the hands of their addictions.

Moderation for them is only a figment in their imagination. If they

would just realize a tweak to their mentality would offer a grander

opportunity to fulfill their true desires.

When I talk about addictions I’m not just specifying illegal drugs,

drinking and gambling. I’m talking about even the minor

addictions we feed in our ever day regimen. Things like shopping

(online and off-line), eating (over-eating and junk foods), and the

like. Every addiction adds the same realm of negativity into our

lives.

Addictions rob us of our innocence. They lead to bad choices and

disappointments, and they corrupt our lives in more ways than

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you can imagine. They manipulate our personality to the point

you can barely recognize the person's behavior. People with

intensiveaddictions will whittle their lives away in a never ending

cycle of negativity because, for them, their addiction doesn’t exist.

We've seen it with smoking and common street drugs; how

addictive something can be.But we also need to look into other

smaller addictions that we may often overlook; ones that’ve been

a part in our everyday regimen for far too long. An addiction to

shopping may not be seen like it’s an aggressive addiction

compared to alcoholismhowever it plagues our lives in a similar

fashion. The shopping itself becomes an addiction due to a

psychological imbalance. Perhaps you feel worthless to some

extent and the shopping fills your happiness void. Even shopping

addiction's lead to divorce. Addictions should have no place in our

lives because they're filled with negative intentions. A smoker will

lead to serious health defects whichcould potentially kill him or

her. An addiction to shopping could lead to personal or business

bankruptcy. This is why our addictions are so harmful.

Exercise: Sourcing your addictions

In your journal jot down your primary addictions. This is a difficult

exercise for some because, often times, addictions aren't easily

seen by the addicted. Generally, the addiction is only seen from


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an outside perspective. Writing them down allows you to

acknowledge them, which is the first step to eliminating them.

Don't let something that can be easily changed alter your

perspective of reality. No addiction is worth compromising your

happiness.

When doing this exercise try to delve deep into the reserves of

your mind. Envision yourself doing your daily activities. Are there

addictive things in your current regimen? Like purchasing a cup of

coffee every single time you drive to the office. Are you addicted

to pulling your cell phone out every five minutes to check your

news feed? Think of every small little addiction you have. Many

of us actually have quite a few, but we don't realize this until we

get to know ourselves. Even our small addictions are damaging.

Moderation is the key.

Phase two of this exercise would be taking a look at your last

month’s bank statement. See which cravings cost you the most

that month. Addictions are on your everyday purchases.

Often times, an addiction can spread to multiple addictions. The

everyday coffee for instance. If you purchase a simple two dollar

cup every day it’ll slowly deplete your bank account. Although

coffee isn't extremely dangerous to your health, the sugar and

extra cream will deplete your health over time. Our addictions are

self-defeating

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Try to focus on one specific addiction at once. Slowly eliminate

each of them one at a time. This exercise is all about eliminating

the attachment. Get your thinking cap on because this exercise

requires a lot of in-depth thoughts about your addictions. When

you're ready, pick one issue on the list and start eliminating it

from your conscious mind.

Ask yourself these questions. How did I develop the addiction in

the first place? Who does the addiction remind me of? What

benefits of my receiving from my addiction?

Now it’s time to weigh the pros and cons of the addiction. Write a

list of the 10 positive qualities of the addiction, then the top 10

negative qualities of the addiction. This will show you that no

matter what addiction you have, there's more negative qualities

than positive. If smoking is your addiction the obvious negative

effect would be harsh health issues, perhaps difficult time

breathing, smelly breath, it looks unprofessional, and a variety of

others. Comparing that to the pros … I can't even name one

because I can't find any. Try this exercise and see how well you

can define the reason behind your addictions. This will help you

form a clearer perspective of the damage they’re causing you.


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Chapter 19: Making it count

Happiness isn’t something that stays maintenance-free. There’s

actually quite a bit of effort needed on your end to keep it active.

Happiness is like a nice chiseled body; without consistent

maintenance and a direct focus on strengthening it, it’s going to

lose its strength and effectiveness. When happiness persists make

it count because not every day will be a happy one. Happiness is

something that should be cherished and taken advantage of, not

taken for granted. When happiness enters your life be sure to

make the most of it. Use it as leverage to make your dreams come

true. And, be sure to encourage those around you to be happy

too. Happiness is easiest celebrate when there are others around

to appreciate it.

Make your happiness count by making the most of it. Relish in the

excitement when it’s present because often times our lives are

anything but happy. It’s the happy times that make us realize life

is worthwhile. Spending time with our children, friends and family

are what make us happy. Achieving goals and working towards

our passions is what makes us happy. Living in the moment is

what makes us happy. These are all great ways to make the most

of your life.

Kerry Girling

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Make it count by accomplishing something you never thought was

possible. Follow your ambitions and work towards the

imagination you used to visualize when you were younger. The

one you gave up on after being discriminated against. Let go of

the limitations you previously held in the perspective of life that

was passed down to you by your relatives. Make it count by

sharing the happiness with those around you; those who are

worthy of sharing it with. Your life is waiting to experience

happiness in abundance. The type of happiness that brings a

lasting smile. The kind of happiness that drives friendships closer,

and the realm of happiness that makes you feel like you’re at the

height of the world.


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Chapter 20: What do you want?

What is most important to you?

This may seem like a simple question to answer, but it’s actually

the most difficult.

In less than sixty seconds answer the following question. What do

you want in life? I want you to include an answer for each of the

following: what do you want in business/career, your personal

life, within your passions/hobbies and health.

Very few can answer this question with much detail in less than a

minute. The primary reason is that it’s not a very common

question. When was the last time you were asked this question?

Exactly. The second reason is due to not knowing yourself well

enough to confidently answer it. Either way, if you can’t answer

this question in less than sixty seconds, with a clear perspective

on what you truly want, then you definitely need to strengthen

your happiness muscle.

I want your focus to be less materialistic and more heartfelt when

dealing with this exercise. A morbidly great way to find the type of

happiness you’re looking for is by writing your own eulogy.

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Exercise: What do you want people to say about you at

your funeral?

Fortunately, to this date, I haven’t been to too many funerals. I

rarely feel comfortable at funerals, to be honest. When I was

younger my body would clam up as soon as I walked into the

funeral parlour because it was tough to adjust to all the different

emotions floating around the room. After my favorite Aunt passed

away I realized that death is just a part of reality. I knew I needed

to learn to live with it. One of the easiest ways of looking at death,

I found, is by looking at the hearty life they lived while they were

alive. For this exercise I want you to imagine yourself at your own

funeral.

Imagine yourself waking up in the morning. You’re lying still in

your bed quietly absorbing the peaceful environment. The room is

silent, not a peep is heard. It’s as though your senses are mostly

impaired, but life to you feels good. As you lay there you hear a

male voice through a microphone, but you can’t quite distinguish

who is speaking. Shortly after, your vision becomes clearer and

you stare at the ceiling above. It looks different though –

something you’re not used to seeing. You soon realize you’re in a

different building altogether. You start smelling candles burning.

The aroma of burning wax fills the air. As you continue to lay


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there motionless you become a part of the moment. Some would

say you’re living in the moment – absorbing everything your

senses take in. You decide to turn your head to the side. As you

do, you notice a packed audience of two or three hundred people.

Most of which are your closest friends and family members. The

rest are acquaintances and distant relatives. It doesn’t take you

long to realize you’re in a casket in a familiar local church, at your

own funeral. At that moment a million things run through your

mind. Images of all your loved ones flash before you. You question

yourself; wondering if you gave your life your all. Hoping you

spent enough quality time with your kids and put enough in them

before you passed away. As your judgment is clouded with

questioning, the words spoken through the pa system vibrate into

your mindset. You soon realize the person speaking through the

microphone is your brother, father, or someone significant in your

life. You hear his/her words, and they’re filled with love, respect

and appreciation. A smile runs from ear-to-ear.

What words do you hear?

This exercise includes your imagination and a lot of it. As you’re

lying in your casket listening to the words through the

microphone imagine what the overall message is saying. Be the

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scriptwriter, and be the author of your own eulogy. What would

you want others to say about you at your own funeral?

Imagine your funeral details. Who is present? What are they

wearing? What kind of snacks are they serving? In fact, step

outside of your casket and be a ghost at your own funeral. Walk

around the audience and see their reactions to the words through

the pa system. The more detailed you get the more practical this

strategy becomes. The more you visualize something the more

real it becomes.


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Final note on happiness

It all depends on who you talk to, but for a simplicity, you’re only

given one short life to live. But, within that short life, you’re able

to change your perspective multiple times, which, in turn, enables

you to live a completely different life multiple times. Each

perspective you see is a different form of reality. You won’t

understand this until you take a step towards replacing old

negative images of the reality you’re currently experiencing with

healthier ones. Each day delivers an opportunity to take

advantage of yesterday’s knowledge. The truth is; we all wish to

experience happiness in abundance, but very few recognize the

corruptions in their own mindset that are limiting them from

experiencing it.

In order to be happy you need to change the way you see reality.

Since birth, your mind was set for ongoing programming. At an

early age, you were taught how to see, feel and experience

reality. Your closest influences literally programmed your mind for

you by directing your choices. Today you are grown and able to

make your own decisions, thus you’re able to reprogram the way

you see reality. Your happiness is dependent on your ability to

make quality choices in your life. By tweaking your mindset ever

so slightly, you’ll cause a lifestyle change. By taking this more

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seriously, and committing more time and effort towards

eliminating old worn out behaviors you’ll experience a lifestyle

revolution. Every step you take towards achieving a happier life is

priceless. Be the change you want to see in your own reality. The

ideal happiness will come when you do so.

I wish you all the happiness in the world! I’m off to live in the

moment with my family. Thank you for reading.

For further details, please visit –

www.kerrygirling.com

Kerry’s Recent Publications


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The Complete First Chapter Series

Moving on from what’s been holding you back in life

After eliminating the negativity from his first chapter, Kerry Girling

chose to enlighten himself on a spiritual journey which led him

into a much happier next chapter of his life. Through spiritual

guidance, he sought out answers to some of the most profound

questions in life. Kerry delves deep explaining how he found

abundant happiness through acceptance and how you can easily

apply it into your own life to become a happier person. The

Complete First Chapter series ties in all relevant life lessons from

all of his motivating books in the series. This book will help you

achieve more happiness in all areas of your own life.

Learn to let go of the negativity in YOUR LIFE today!

Kerry Girling has traveled the depths to motivate, inspire and

encourage people of all ages. His passion is inspiring teens,

parents, adults and anyone who has an interest to succeed.

Through his inspiring Amazon Bestselling books, films and

documentaries and motivational speeches he has encouraged

over one million.

Kerry explains to you his secrets ~ the power of spirituality and

the importance of the law of attraction and how you can apply it

into your own life to live a happier lifestyle. His lessons will teach

Kerry Girling

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you how to a happier person. This book will help you. It will

inspire you. It will enlighten you and encourage you to believe

again. It will bring new ideas to fuel your passionate side. It will

make you want to laugh and love again.

For further publications by Kerry Girling visit

www.kerrygirling.com

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