Coaching SkillsListening, Open-ended questions,

and Role-playing

According to the experts…

Good coaches speak with credibility, make a personal connection, and focus little on themselves. They listen more than they talk. They are one hundred percent present in the conversation.

Jim Knight, director of the Kansas Coaching Project, University of Kansas

According to experts. . .

The challenges faced by a team increases

not only with the complexity of the problem that is trying to be solved but

with the degree of virtuality of the team.

How well you listen has a major impact on your effectiveness as a coach.

We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment.

We listen to learn.

Listen, listen, listen…

• Humans have 5 times more capacity to listen than to speak.

• 4/5s of our minds have the opportunity to

wander while we are listening to someone else.

• We tend to spend this time formulating

responses based on our own preconceived notions.

• We retain 30 percent of what was said, and remember ½ of that.

• 47 percent of our time writing, typing, speaking or reading.

• 53 percent of our time listening to others.

"If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.“

~Mark Twain

How to Effectively Listen• Stop Talking• Give Your Full Attention• Encourage Them• Recall is good!• Ask open-ended questions• Respond appropriately

• You set the tone of the call• Candid, open, respectful• Positive

Let’s Practice! • 2 minutes-Speaker tells story/listener practices right

listening

Share a story that describes a peak experience or high point when you were most alive and felt very effective in something you did.

• 1-2 minutes-Listener “tells back” what was told to her.

• 1 minutes - Speaker gives listener feedback and makes corrections

• Switch so other person shares their story

Ask! Ask! Ask!

Practicing Open Ended Questions

The local League coordinator indicates It’s been difficult to get the other board members to see the value in adopting the membership and leadership growth best practices while planning events/activities.

Let’s Role-play! • Partner up!• Sit back-to-back• One person pretends to be the state

coach and acts out the assigned issue• One person pretends to be the national

coach and uses your listening/open-ended questions to coach the issue

• Switch! (We’ll let you know when!)

“Any practice that fosters sincere listening will foster compassion and mutual respect, strengthen the bond of trust, and deepen the quality of your relationships- at work and in your personal life”

~Diana Whitney, Ph.D. Appreciative Leadership