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COACHING & MENTORINGTOOLKIT

2Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit 2

Content

Introduction1. What are coaching and mentoring? Resource:Keydefinitions Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Whatarecoachingandmentoring2. Why should I coach and mentor? Resource:Whyshouldyoucoachandmentor? Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:WhyshouldIcoachandmentor?3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials Resource:Takingnotes Yourreadinesstocoachortomentor Activity:Stoptoreflect Resource:Creatingtherightenvironment Activity:Stoptoreflect Resource:Contracting Summary:Howtocoachandmentor:Theessentials4. The What? So what? Now what? Model Resource:TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model5. Genuine listening Resource:Genuinelistening Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Genuinelistening6. Asking the right questions Resource:QuestionstoaskateachstageoftheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Askingtherightquestions7. Giving feedback Resource:Effectivefeedback Summary:Givingfeedback

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Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit3

Introduction

WelcometotheToolkit.Hereyouwillfindanumberofusefuladditionalresourcesthatbuildontheknowledgeyouhavegainedintheonlinecourse.Youcanusetheseresourceswhenplanningandcarryingoutyourowncoachingandmentoringsessions.

Inaddition,thisToolkitcontainsanumberofrelatedofflineactivitiescalledStop to reflect.Thepurposeofthesereflectiveactivitiesistoenhanceyourlearningthroughtheprocessofwritingandthinkingaboutyourownlearningexperiences.

Completingthesereflectiveactivitiescanhelpyoutoknowyourselfbetter,learnfromexperience,makesenseofnewexperiencesandcaptureyour‘sensemaking’inawaythatyoucangobackto.Itwillalsoenhanceyourabilitytolearn how to learn:somethingprofoundlyimportanttocoachesandmentors.

Werecommendthatyouprintoutthisdocumentanduseitalongsidetheonlinecourse.

Ifyou’reunabletoprintthisdocument,werecommendthatyouwritedownyourreflectionsinyourownnotebookwhentheonlinecoursepromptsyoutostopandreflect.

Whateveryourapproach,wewantyoutodrawonyourownexperiencesinrelationtothecontentoftheonlinecourse,soyoucanreflectonyourcoaching/mentoringapproach.


1. What are coaching and mentoring?

Resource: Key definitions

Topic1oftheonlinecourseexplorescoachingandmentoring–theirsimilarities,howtheydifferandwhentouseeachapproach.Theonlinecoursealsolooksatthewaysinwhichcoachesandmentorsusetheirskillstomanagetheirmeetingswithcoacheesandmentees.

ThischapteroftheToolkitprovidesaquickreferenceguideandareflectiveactivityforyoutotry.

What is coaching?

Coachingisaconversationalpartnershipbetweenacoachandanindividual-acoachee-aimedatinspiringandsupportingthecoacheetoreachtheirpotential. • Itisashort-termintervention,with

regularmeetingsoveraperiodoftime

• Coachingisspecifictotheneedsofthecoacheeandprovidesspaceforthecoacheetothink

• Itisfocusedonthecoacheeidentifyingactionsforthemselves

• Coachingisaformofconversationthathelpstosetchallengesandreachbettergoals,focusonprioritiesandaccomplishmore

• Thecoachandcoacheeareequals,withthecoachmanagingtheprocess,actingasasoundingboardtolistenandaskingquestionstohelpthecoacheetothinkandexploreissuesthatareimportanttothemand/ortheirwork

• Goalsareresults-oriented,behaviouralchanges

What is mentoring?

Amentorwillhaveknowledgeandexperiencethattheycanpassoninordertohelpamenteegrowanddevelopprofessionallyandasaperson.Theywillsometimesfacilitatetheone-to-onelearningprocessinwaysthatarerathersimilartocoaching.Sometimestheymaybemore‘directive’thanatypicalcoach:thismeansthattheymayinstructthepersontheyareworkingwith.

• Thementoractsasacriticalfriendandtrustedadvisoroftenoveranextendedperiodoftime

• Thementormayarrangeforthementeetohavespecificopportunitiesorsponsorthedevelopmentofthementeethroughotherinterventions

• Mentoringprovidesaspaceforthementeetothink

• Thementorhelpstheotherperson(the“mentee”)tobuildtheirconfidencebylearningabouttheirexpertiseandrolerequirements

• Mentorsareseniorormoreexperienced/qualifiedandsomeonewhocanenablespecificopportunities

• Amentormaygiveadviceaspartoftheirrolemorefrequentlythanacoach

• Mentorsaresometimesselectedforthepersonbytheirmanager

• Goalsareprofessionaldevelopmentandmaturity


1. What are coaching and mentoring?

Activity: Stop to reflect

Giventhesedifferencesandsimilaritiesbetweencoachingandmentoring,recordbelowyourresponsetothefollowingquestions:

Summary

• Coachingisapartnershiptohelpachievespecificgoals–itisashort-termintervention,focusedonactions

• Mentoringisalonger-termrelationshipwherethementorcansharetheirknowledgeandexperienceandthementeecanreflectontheirownpersonaldevelopment

• Bothcoachingandmentoringprovideanopportunityforanalysis,reflection,testingofassumptionsandactionsthatultimatelyenabletheindividualtoachievesuccess• Bothapproachesarewellsuitedtothehumanitariancontext,wherestaffneedtodiscover

theconfidence,self-awareness,communicationanddecision-makingskillstheyneedtobeeffective

• Theactivitiesrequiredforcoachingandmentoringareflexibleenoughtobeeasilyadaptedtothechallenginghumanitariancontext

1. In what situation(s) do you think it would be most helpful to use a mentor or a coach?

2. Who do you know who might benefit from a) coaching or b) mentoring and why (in each case)?

Ithinkthat

Ithinkthat

mightbenefitfromcoachingbecause:

mightbenefitfrommentoringbecause:


Leadership

• Moreconfidentandeffectiveleadership

• Decisionspeedimprovedatseniorlevels

• Anenvironmentinwhichcareerdevel-opmentissupported

2. Why should I coach and mentor?

Resource: Why should you coach and mentor?

Topic2oftheonlinecourseexploresthevalueofeffectivecoachingandmentoringtotheindividualcoachee/mentee,theorganisationandalsotothecoach/mentor.

InthischapteroftheToolkityouwillfindaresource,whichexplorestheseideasfurther,andarelatedStop to reflectactivity.

Performance

• Thecoachee/mentee’sperformancewillimprove,andsowilltheirteam’s

• Apparentimprovementsinperformancewillboostconfidence

• Greateremergencyexperienceandknowledgeishighlyvalued

• Overallstaffconfidencewillincrease,somorepeoplewillbeabletoserveinemergencyareas

• Lesstimemonitoringandcheckingworkasstafffeelmoreconfident

• Helpscreateanenvironmentthatencouragesgreateraccountability,performanceandproductivity

Motivation

• Coachee/mentee’sabletomakemoredecisionsforthemselves,duetogreaterconfidence

• Theirattitudetowardsself-directedprogresswillimprove

• Overallstaffengagementandprofessionalsatisfactionwillincrease

Behaviour

• Thecoachee/menteewillre-engagewiththeirroleandtheorganisation–resultingin:

> Greaterclarityandperspective > Moreabilitytomanagesituations

themselves > Improvedawarenessof

management/leadershipstyles > Bettermanagementofchallenging

people > Greaterawarenessofcareerop-

tionsandchoices

• Managersaremorelikelytobemorecommittedandmorefocusedontheiractions

• Individualswhohavebeencoachedshouldimproveinspecificareas

• Manager’sabilitytolead,confidence,resilienceandcoachingabilityarealllikelytoimprove



Activity: Stop to reflect

The‘HarvardBusinessReview’sAnswerExchange’tailoredtothehumanitariansector,highlightedthefollowingbenefitsofcoachingandmentoring:

• Soundingboardtodiscusswaystoovercomeperformanceproblemsandinterpersonalconflictswithintheteam

• Strengtheningstaffskillssotheyarelessdependentonseniormanagersforalltheanswers.Theyinturncandelegatemoretaskstothemandfocusonmanagerialresponsibilitiese.g.planning

• Reviewingwithcoachee/menteehowtheyprioritisewhenthereissomuchtodo.Helpsstafftoworkmoresmartly

• Successionplanning:especiallylookingtodevelopnationalstaffintomoreseniorroles

• Improvedretention;manystudieshaveshownthatemployeesaremoreloyalandmotivatedwhentheirmanagerstaketimetohelpthemimprovetheirskills

• Costeffectiveness;coachingcostslessthanformaltrainingandcanbedoneinsituandcanbedonefast.Itisdifficultforstafftotaketimeoutduringhumanitarianassignments.

• Muchlearninginthehumanitariansectorrelatestoapplyingthinkingandskillstoswiftchangingcontexts.Itmakessenseforthistobedoneinsitu.

1. How have you witnessed or experienced any of these benefits as a result of coaching or mentoring support in your organisation?

2. Are there any opportunities you can think of to deliver these individual benefits to some one you work with?



Summary: Why should I coach and mentor?

• Whenpeopleworkwithacoachoramentor,theybuildskillsandknowledgetoenhancetheirperformance

• Theyfeelsupported,encouraged,proudandsatisfiedwhenovercomingnewchallenges.

• Yourorganisationbenefitsthroughbetterstaffretention

• Thereareeconomicbenefits–coachingandmentoringcanhappenonthejobanddonotrequiremoreexpensiveformaltrainingsessions

• Coachingandmentoringhelpstafftobebetterabletomakedecisionsandadapttheirknowledgetoeachnewsituation


3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials

Resource: Taking notes

Topic3oftheonlinecourseexploresthebasicstepsrequiredtoenableeffectivecoachingandmentoringtotakeplace–fromthinkingaboutyourownpreparedness,tocreatingtherightenvironmentandwhatyouneedtoachievefromeachsession.

InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindsomeusefulresourcestosupportyouatthisstageandtwoStop to reflectactivitiestogetyouthinkingaboutyourownreadinesstocoachormentor.

Top tips

• Sticktothefacts

• Makesuresomebodyelsecouldunderstandyournotesiftheyneededto

• Haveaneasy-to-followformat

• Usebulletpoints

• Recordthedateofthenextmeeting

7 reasons to take accurate notes

• Ithelpsensureyouandtheotherpersonmakeinformeddecisionstogether

• Itenablesyoutorecordtheactionsandreactionsoftheotherperson

• Ithelpsyoutotrackideasandinterventionsused

• Ithelpsyoutoprepareforanyfollow-onmeetingswiththepersonyouarehelping

• Ithelpsyoutoanalyseyourthinkingandreflectonyourdiscussions

• Itencouragesyoutolearnfromexperience

• Ithelpsyoutoreflectuponthestrategiesyou’veused

Remember

Takingnotesdoesn’tneedtobehardwork.

Youjustneedtohaveagoodsystemtouse–liketheWhat? So what? Now what? Model.Itissimplebutcomprehensiveenoughtodealwithallsituations.

What should your notes include?

• Whatwasdiscussed

• Whatworkyourcoacheehascompleted

• Howtheyareprogressingtowardstheirgoals

• Actionstotakebeforethenextmeeting



Your readiness to coach or to mentor

Takingnotesandself-awarenessmaynotappeartoberelated.However,asyouhaveseen,takingnotescanhelpyoutobecomemorereflectiveandself-aware.Beingself-awareasacoachormentorhelpsyoutorecognisedifferencesbetweenyourselfandothers,andtolisten,communicateandbuildrapporteffectively. HereisaStop to reflectactivitythatwillhelpyouconsiderhowyouseeyourselfinrelationtoothers.

Activity: Stop to reflect.

Part 1:Takeamomentnowtorecordyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:

> Who am I today?

> Who am I today in relation to my friends and family?

> Who am I today in relation to the rest of the world?

> Who am I today in relation to my job?



Part 2: Onceyouhavedonethis,itcanbehelpfultoreflectonyouranswers.Makeanoteofyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:

> Who am I today in relation to my colleagues?

> Who am I today in relation to this organisation?

> What are the differences in my answers to these questions?

> Who am I today in relation to my coachee/mentee?

> Why are there differences in my answers?



> Do these differences help to explain why there could be relationships within which I might feel vulnerable? In any contemplated coaching or mentoring relationship might I want or need to protect myself?

Resource: Creating the right environment

The physical environmentYoushouldconsiderthesefourthingsbeforesettingupacoaching/mentoringsession.• Place:Makesureyoumeetsomewhere

youcanbothbecomfortable• Access:Ensurethatthemeetingplaceis

accessibleandmeetsbothofyourneeds• Safety:Usecommonsensetomakesure

yourmeetingplaceisappropriate

• Location:Makethisconvenientforbothofyou,assumingyouaremeetingfacetoface

The emotional environmentAndherearetheemotionalfactorsyoushouldconsider:• Feeling safe:Youneedtocreatea

friendlyatmosphereinwhichyourcoachee/menteecantalktoyouaboutanything

• A confidential space:Whereverpossible,don’trevealinformationthatyourcoachee/menteewouldn’twanttobeshared

• Where you can’t be overheard:Ifyourcoachee/menteecanbeoverheard,theyaremuchlesslikelytospeakfreely

• A neutral place:Askyourcoachee/menteewhereasuitablemeetingplacemightbe

• No distractions:Turnoffyourmobilephone

• Rapport:Useyourrapportwithyourcolleaguetomakethemfeelcomfortableduringthemeeting




Part 1:Takeamomentnowtorecordyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:

In what ways have you helped other people to discover answers to their own questions (or dilemmas) in the past?

• What did you do? • What worked? • Why? • What was less successful? • Why do you think this was less successful?

> Why would some people prefer virtual coaching/mentoring conversations?

> When, in a coaching or mentoring relationship, might a face-to-face conversation be preferable? Why?



Resource: Contracting

Settingexpectationsor‘contracting’helpstocreateaneffectivepartnershipbetweencoachandcoachee/mentorandmentee.Awritten‘contract’isn’tessentialbutcanhelptomakesurethatbothpeopleintherelationshiphavethesameexpectations,haveagreedsome‘groundrules’andcangoontobuildasolidfoundationfortheworkthatistocome.

On-going questions

Evenafterthecontractisagreed,youshouldconsiderthefollowingquestionsbeforeandduringeachsession:

What should your coaching/mentoring contract include?

• Desiredoutcomesofsession

• Commitmenttoworkbetweensessions

• Explanationofhowthecoach/mentorworks

• Frequencyandlengthofsessions

• Explanationoftheformat(face-to-face,telephone,Skypeetc.)

• Location(ifface-to-face)

• Agreedexpectationsaroundcancellation/postponement

• Confidentialityagreement

• Whatwouldyouliketofocusoninthismeeting?

• Isourworkingrelationshipmeetingyourneeds?

• Aretherewaysitcanbeimproved?

• What,ifany,changesdoweneedtomaketoourworkingrelationship?

Additional items you may wish to include:

• Howyouandyourcoachee/menteewillmeasureprogress

• Howyouwillrecordmilestones

• Howlongyouwillworktogetherbeforereviewing,extending,orendingthearrangements

• Whenandhowthecoachandcoachee/mentorandmenteewillgiveeachotherfeedback

• Whathappensifthementee/coacheefailstotakeactionsagreeduponatthecoaching/mentoringsession

• Whatwillhappentothenotesyouwrite



Thistemplateisastartingpointthatyoucanbuildonsothatyoucreateeffectivepartnerships.Donotsimplyusethetemplatewithoutthinkingcarefullyabouttheaimsofeachpartnershipthatyouwanttobuild.

BASIC COACHING/MENTORING AGREEMENT TEMPLATE

NUMBER OF COACHING/MENTORING SESSIONS: LENGTH OF EACH SESSION:

START DATE: END DATE: LOCATION:

THE ROLE OF THE COACH OR MENTOR

• Identifywhatthecoachee/menteewantstofocusonandwhyitisimportanttothemandthecontexttheyarein

• Createasafe,supportiveenvironmentthatproduceson-goingmutualrespect

• Observe,listenandaskquestionstounderstandtheindividual’ssituation

• Usequestioningtechniquestoprovokethecoachee’s/mentee’sthinking

• Movebetweenbigpictureofthegoalsandthedetailsofthecoachee’s/mentee’sparticularsituation

• Creativelyapplyvarioustoolsandtechniquestomatchtheneedofthecoachee/mentee

• Usefeedbacktoimprovetheinteractionwiththecoachee/mentee

• Supportthecoachee/menteetoestablishappropriatemilestonestoseeprogressinrelationtotheiroverallgoals

• Keeptheindividualaccountableforwhattheysaytheyaregoingtodo,fortheresultsofanintendedaction,orforaspecificplanwithrelatedtimeframes

Communications

1. Followingeachsessionthecoachorthementoremails‘sessionnotes’andactionstocoachee/mentee.2. 48hoursbeforethenextsessionthecoachee/menteeemailscoach/mentorwithanup-dateonprogress.

CONTACT DETAILS:

Coach/Mentor email: Coachee/Mentee email:Coach/Mentor Skype: Coachee/Mentee Skype:LANDLINE NO.: LANDLINE NO.: MOBILE NO.: MOBILE NO.:

ACCEPTANCE OF AGREEMENT TERMS

COACH/MENTOR: COACHEE/MENTEE:SIGNATURE: SIGNATURE:DATE: DATE:

THE ROLE OF THE COACHEE OR MENTEE

• Recognisethecoachingormentoringprocessisaninvestmentinyourdevelopment.

• Communicatehonestlyandopenlywiththecoach/mentoratalltimes.

• Listen,considerandrespondtofeedbackreceived.

• Beopentochallengestoyourthoughts,ideas,workingpractices.

• Committotheprinciplesofcoachingtoaidyourdevelopment.

• Togiveatleast24hoursnoticeifunabletoattendaface-to-faceorvirtualcoachingmeeting.



Summary: How to coach and mentor: The essentials

• Beingself-awareasacoachormentorhelpsyoutorecognisedifferencesbetweenyourselfandothers,andtolisten,communicateandbuildrapporteffectively

• ‘Whotocoach/mentor?’meansthinkingaboutwhocanbenefitmostfromthistypeofrelationship

• Youneedtoconsiderwhatenvironmentisbestsuitedtocoachingeachperson.Thismeansconsideringvirtualsessionsaswellasface-to-facemeetings

• Settingexpectationsandagreeinga“contract”atthestartiskeytoestablishingagoodworkingrelationshipwithyourcoachee/menteeandinbuildingfoundationsfortheireffectivedevelopment


4. The What? So what? Now what? Model

Resource: The What? So what? Now what? Model

Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyouareorwhatyou’retalkingabout-followingthismodelwillhelpyouhaveaproductivecoachingormentoringdiscussion

Topic4oftheonlinecourseexploresamodelthathelpstostructureeachcoachingormentoringsession.

InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindanoverviewofthemodelandaStop to reflect activitytogetyouthinkingaboutwhatmakesaneffectivecoachingormentoringsessionandhowyouwouldrunyourownsessions.

Remember,thepersonyouareworkingwithshoulddecidethepaceandagendaofthemeeting–notyou.Yourgoalineachsessionshouldbetoencouragethemtogiveyoutherightinformationsoyoucansupportthemasbestyoucan.

1. WHAT?

First,identifythefocusofthesession.

> What does the other person want to talk about any why?

> What is their main goal?

Youneedtoencouragethemtodomorethanjustdescribetheirproblem.

Instead,theyshouldworktowardsrecognising their partintheproblem-overcomingtheobstaclesthatmaybepreventingthemfromsolvingit.

Thiswillgivethemarealis-ticideaofhowfartheyarefromachievingtheirgoal.

2. SO WHAT?

Afterthat,youshouldthinkaboutthepossiblenextsteps.

> What are the different ways you could approach this issue?

> Which way would give the best result?

Listeningeffectivelyatthisstagewillencouragecrea-tivesolutions–helpingtheotherpersontofeelthattheycanachievetheirgoal.

3. NOW WHAT?

Thenit’stimetotakestepstoachievetheotherper-son’sgoal.

> What steps can they take to achieve their aim?

Theotherpersonshouldcommittospecific,practi-cal,andachievableactions–it’stheonlywaytheywillmoveclosertotheirgoal.

Thiscommitmentwillempowerthemandincreasethelikelihoodofthemachievingtheirgoal.




Thinkaboutthecoachingsessionvideofromthistopic.

Putyourselfintheshoesofthecoach.Writeyourresponsestothefollowingquestions.

> How well does the meeting follow the model you have explored? > How effective was the coaching session and why? > How have the coach and coachee contributed to the success of the session?

> What it is about this session that makes it challenging or demanding?

> How would you respond to the challenge or the demands of working with this person?



> What am I learning about my preferences and myself, through this process of reflection?

Summary: The What? So what? Now what? Model

• Startingoutasamentororasacoachithelpstohaveastructuredapproachinordertomakeitaseffectiveaspossibleandmeasureprogress

• TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Modelisathreestageprocess-itprovidestheheadlinequestionsyouneedtoconsidertogetherateachstage

• TheWhat?stageexploresthepurposeofthesession–thesituationtobeaddressed

• TheSowhat?stageiswhereyoucanevaluatethedifferentoptionstoaddressthegoalyourcoachee/menteehasidentified

• ThemostsuitablestepstorealisethegoalarethenconsideredinthefinalNowwhat?stage


5. Genuine listening

Topic5oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsrequiredforeffective,orgenuine,listeningwhencoachingormentoring.

InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcethatprovidestoptipsandpracticalsuggestionsfordevelopingyourlisteningskills.ThereisalsoaStop to reflectactivitytohelpyoufocusyourmindandprepareforgenuinelistening,whichyoucanuseinyourowncoachingandmentoringsessions.

Resource: Genuine listening

Tobecomeahighlyeffectivecoachormentor,youneedtomakesureyouattentivelyandgenuinelylistentoyourcoachee/mentee.Thismeanslisteningtothemwellenoughtoreallyunderstandthem–notjustwaitingforanopportunitytorespond.

Ways to cut out internal noise:

• Reduceenvironmentaldistractions

• Ifyouarestressedorarelikelytobedistractedbysomethingelseonyourmind,considerpostponingthesession

• Keepyourgoalsinmind

• Focusonlyonthesubjectofthemeeting

Things to be aware of

Genuinelisteningisnoteasy.Herearesomeofthethingsthatmakeitdifficultthatyouneedtoconsider: • Wecanunderstandspeechratesofup

to800wordsperminute,buttheaveragepersoncanonlyspeakatupto150wordsperminute,soourmindsoftentrytofillinthegaps–don’tletit!

• Ourpersonalinsecurities–perhapsassociatedwithstatusdifference–canhaveanimpactonhowdeeplywelis-tentotheotherperson.Don’tallowyourinsecuritiestobecomeabarrier

• Youmaydisagreewiththepersonyouarehelping.Don’tletthisstopyoufromlisteningtotheirconcern

Top tips

• Don’tjustlistentowhatthecoachee/menteeissaying-considertheirtoneandbodylanguageaswell

• Showthatyouarelistening–changeyourtoneandbodylanguage.Simplegesturesandexpressions,suchas‘uhhuh’canletthemknowyouarelisteningbutwantthemtocontinue

• Repeatexactlywhatyourcoachee/menteesaid,orpickoutkeyphrases–thisprovidesthecoachee/menteewithanopportunitytoclarifythemselves

• Clarifyanythingthatisn’tclear–don’tassumeyouunderstandthem

• Mirrorthecoachee’s/mentee’sbodylanguage(withoutbeingmechanical)andtalkatthesamespeed

• Focusonthecoachee/menteeandcutoutany‘internalnoise’




Inordertolisteneffectivelyandreallytuneintotheotherperson,it’simportanttobeabletoputyourselfinthemomentandputasideanydistractingthoughtsthatcometoyourmind.Thisactivityisdesignedtobuildthisessentialdiscipline.

Step 1:

Letyourmindwanderforaminuteandthenmakeanotehereaboutalltheideasthatcomeintoyourheadandcompeteforyourattention.

Outcomes:

Perhapsyouwerethinkingabouthowlongthisactivitywillbe,howeffectiveyouareatlistening,orevenwhat’sforlunch!Howevermanythoughtsyouexperienced,therearesomequickandeasytechniquesyoucanusetoconnectyourselfwithcurrentreality.

Step 2:

Trythisactivitynow.Takethreedeepbreaths.Focusononephysicalrealitythatyoucansee,hear,touchorsmellinyourcurrentlocation.Makeanotehereaboutthethoughtsthatenteryourmindthistime.

> I am thinking about:

> I am thinking about:



Outcomes:

Noticehowyourawarenesshasshiftedtophysicalsensationsinthepresent.Aswegetbetteratfocusinginthiswaywecalmourmindsandbodiesandbecomemorealertandready.

Summary: Genuine listening

• Listeningisnotthesameashearing–ourthoughts,feelingsandassumptionscangetinthewayofreallylisteningtosomeone-itisimportanttobepresentandinthemomentinordertotuneinproperly–thisisgenuinelistening

• Takingthreebreathscanhelptore-focusyourmindandaideffectivelistening

• Listeninghappensonthreelevels–internallisteningwhereourownthoughtscaninfluenceunderstanding,listeningtounderstandwhatisbeingsaidandfinallydeeplisteningto

understandandinterpretasituation

• Deepandgenuinelisteningisthenreflectedinyourownactions,responsesandquestions


6. Asking the right questions

Topic6oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsofeffectivequestioningforcoachingandmentoring.

InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcethatprovidespracticalsuggestionsforaskingeffectivequestions,followingthethreestageWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model.ThereisalsoaStop to reflectactivitytohelpyoupractiseandfurtherdevelopyourownquestioningskills.

Resource: Questions to ask at each stage of the What? So what? Now what? Model

Types of questions Reason for asking questions Impact on learner

What?

Whatdoyouwanttofocuson(inthisconversation)?

Whatmakesthisimportanttoyounow?

Howwillyouknowthatyouhaveachievedwhatyouwant?

Whatishappeninginthissituation?

Whathaveyoudoneaboutit?

Whatismissing?

Whodoesthisimpact?

Howmuchcontroldoyoupersonallyhaveovertheoutcome?

Towhatextentdoothersholdthesameperspectiveorurgencythatyoudo?

Whatactionstepshaveyoutakenonitsofar?

Establishthepurposeoftheconversationandwhyitisimportanttothelearnernow

Explorewherethelearnerideallyandrealisticallycangettobytheendofthesessioninrelationtotheirgoal

Checkinoncurrentreality

Observepatternsandhelpthemtoexplorethewidercontexttheyareapartofand“thebiggerpicture”

Reviewtheirsenseofwhatishappeningagainsthowothersmightperceiveit

Explorethewaythingsarenow,theirability,probingtoestablishwhythingsarethewaytheyare

Movethelearneronfromdescribingtheirproblem,tounderstandingtheirpartinit,theassumptionstheyholdandwhatisblockingchange

Greaterawarenessofselfandtheirimpactonteamsandoverallresults

Identificationofwhatiswithintheircontrolattimesofuncertainty

Whatismostimportantwithintheiragenda

Realisticsenseofthegapbetweenthepresentrealityandtheultimategoal

Greatersenseoflimitationstheyhaveputonthemselvesandthesituation




So What?

Whatareallthedifferentwaysinwhichyoucouldapproachthisissue?

Makealistofallthealternatives,largeorsmall,completeorpartialsolutions

Whatelsecouldyoudo?

Whatwouldyoudoifyouhadmoretime,alargerbudget,orifyouweretheteamleader?

Whatwouldyoudoifyoucouldstartagainwithacleansheet,withanewteam?

Whatisthemostcourageousthingyoucoulddo?

Whatwouldhappenifyoudidnothing?

Whataretheadvantagesanddisadvantagesofeachoftheseoptionsinturn?

Whichwouldgivethebestresult?

Whichofthesesolutionsappealstoyoumost,orfeelsbesttoyou?

Whichwouldgiveyouthemostsatisfaction?

Helpthemtofindawayoutofbeing‘stuck’

Evaluatewhatwillworkbestinthissituationanditsimpact

Relatebacktotheoriginalgoalandpurposeoftheconversation–howwillitmeetthegoal?

Therearethingsthatcanbedoneinadifficultsituationandwillhelptochangethedynamics

Greaterunderstandingofwhatmakessensetodowithinaparticularcontext

Beinglistenedtohelpstounlockcreativityagain,whichcanbeshutdownunderpressure




Now What?

Whichoption(s)areyougoingtochoose?

Whenpreciselyareyougoingtostartandfinisheachactionstep?

Whatcouldarisetostopyouintakingthesestepsormeetingthegoal?

Whatlevelofriskareyoupreparedtotake?

Whatpersonalresistancedoyouhave,ifany,totakingthesesteps?

Whatwillyoudotoeliminatetheseexternalandinternalfactors?

Whoneedstoknowwhatyourplansare?

Whatsupportdoyouneedandfromwhom?

Whatwillyoudotoobtainthatsupportandwhen?

WhatcouldIdotosupportyou?

Whatcommitmentona1–10scaledoyouhavetotakingtheseagreedactions?

Whatpreventsthisfrombeinga10,oronelevelupfromyourcurrentposition(ifyouthink10istoogreataleapforyourcoachee)?

Whatcouldyoudooraltertoraiseyourcommitmentcloserto10?

Clarifyagainwhatimmediatestepsareyougoingtotake?

Howandwhencanyoudothis?

Testreadinesstoact

Testcommitmenttotheoutcome

Mostimportantlythefinalstageistogetthecoacheetocommittospecific,practicalandachievableactionsthatwillenablethemtomoveclosertotheirgoal

Energisedtoact

Acknowledgewhoelseneedstobeinvolvedtocreategreaterpossibil-ityofthedesiredresults

Anticipatepossibleobstaclesandtoputcontingencyplansinplace



Step 1:

Findacolleaguewhoishappyforyoutopractiseyourdevelopingskillswiththemforacoupleofminutes.Tellhimorherthatyouwouldliketohaveatwo-minuteconversationwiththem.Yourtaskistoaskthequestion:

‘Whatchallengedoyoucurrentlyhaveinyourrole?‘

Afterthat,youcanonlyasktwomorequestionstofindoutasmuchasyoucanaboutitandhowtheymightresolveit.Ifyoufindthisexercisetoodifficult,extendthetime–askthreequestionsinfiveminutesorthreequestionsintenminutes.

Step 2:

Onceyouhavecompletedtheactivity,writeupyourobservationshere.Thinkabout:

• Howdifficultwasittochooseyourquestionsinthemoment?• Whichofyourfollowupquestionsweremosteffectiveandwhy?• Whatwouldyoudodifferentlynexttime?

> My observations:

Summary: Asking the right questions

• Questionsareanessentialpartofeffectivecoachingandmentoring

• Theyenableyoutodeepenyouunderstandingandhelpyourcoachee/menteetoexploretheirdevelopmentneeds

• It’simportanttousetherightkindsofquestions–useopenandprobingquestions,avoidclosedquestionsortoomany‘why’questions

• Thecoachee/menteeownstheprocess-yourlisteningandquestioningistheretofacilitateandenabletheirthoughts,ideasandactions

• Avoidinterrogating,interviewingandgivingadviceandkeepyourquestionsshortandsimple



7. Giving feedback

Topic7oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsofgivingfeedback,avitalpartofthecoachingandmentoringrole.

InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcewhichprovidesaquickreferenceguideonprovidingeffectivefeedback.

Resource: Effective feedback

Ifyoudeliverfeedbackappropriately,itcanempoweryourcoachee/menteetomakerealchanges.Itdepends,however,onthefeedbackmeetingthesecriteria.

Basedonobservations

Specific

Factual

Notanalytical

Providednearintimetothebehaviourobserved

Supportive

Relatedtobehaviour

Honest

Feedback meeting structure

1. Provideasummaryofthefeedback

2. Describethebehaviourthathasledtothefeedback

3. Highlighttheconsequencesofthebehaviour

4. Checkforunderstandingandacceptance

5. Supportyourcoachee/menteetocommittodoingthingsdifferently

6. Encouragethemandsupportthemtotakeaction–whichcanbereviewedatalatermeeting


Summary: Giving feedback

• Effectivefeedbackisakeycontributortoyourcoacheeormentee’sdevelopment/performanceimprovement

• Feedbackshouldbeatwo-wayprocess–receivingfeedbackwillhelpyoudevelopyourcoachingormentoringskillsandyoubevaluableasyouprogress

• Feedbackdoesn’tneedtoalwaysbedonefacetoface–thoughthatisbest.Youcanalsomakeuseofvideoorphonechats.Emailortextchatsaremuchmoredifficulttomanageandshouldbeavoidedwheneverpossible

• Whengivingfeedback,makeitclearandevidencebased–bespecificanddeliveritasyourobservationsratherthanfacts

• Taketimeattheendofeachsessiontodiscusshowitwentandwhattododifferentlynexttime

7. Giving feedback

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