Coach Michele’s Group Coach Michele’s Group CoachingCoaching

March 14, 2011March 14, 2011

Today’s TopicToday’s Topic

Techniques – Compassionate StrengthTechniques – Compassionate Strength

BasicsBasics

Compassion is a large part of what a Compassion is a large part of what a coach providescoach provides

We need to make sure this compassion is We need to make sure this compassion is healthy, and is the type that heals and healthy, and is the type that heals and grows, not keeps people stuckgrows, not keeps people stuck

The right kind of compassion helps a client The right kind of compassion helps a client feel strong and centeredfeel strong and centered

Definitions of CompassionDefinitions of Compassion

The English The English nounnoun compassioncompassion, , comes from comes from LatinLatin meaning meaning to suffer to suffer together withtogether with Deep awareness and sympathy for Deep awareness and sympathy for another’s suffering, the humane quality another’s suffering, the humane quality of understanding the suffering of of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something others and wanting to do something about it (princeton)about it (princeton)

Your Definition of CompassionYour Definition of Compassion

How would you define or describe How would you define or describe compassion?compassion?

How do you know if someone is being How do you know if someone is being compassionate with you, or showing you compassionate with you, or showing you compassion?compassion?

More Understanding of More Understanding of Compassion in CoachingCompassion in Coaching

Compassion has also been described as Compassion has also been described as understanding without judgment (Timo Lehtinen)understanding without judgment (Timo Lehtinen)This is a very helpful definition for a coach, or This is a very helpful definition for a coach, or anyone that wants to truly facilitate the growth of anyone that wants to truly facilitate the growth of those around themthose around themAs coaches, of course we would love our clients As coaches, of course we would love our clients to “suffer” less, but that doesn’t always mean the to “suffer” less, but that doesn’t always mean the immediate relief from difficult situationsimmediate relief from difficult situationsAs coaches, we may “feel” our clients pain, but As coaches, we may “feel” our clients pain, but we don’t suffer with it…That is the huge gift we we don’t suffer with it…That is the huge gift we can givecan give

Discussion – Compassion in Discussion – Compassion in CoachingCoaching

How do we convey compassion in How do we convey compassion in coaching or how does the client know that coaching or how does the client know that we empathize?we empathize?

What are the signs that the client just What are the signs that the client just wants a “pity party” and doesn’t want to wants a “pity party” and doesn’t want to grow?grow?

Do we feel that tears are appropriate, on Do we feel that tears are appropriate, on either end, in a coaching call?either end, in a coaching call?

5 Signs Your Helping is Really 5 Signs Your Helping is Really EnablingEnabling

You try to change or fix or help with something that You try to change or fix or help with something that the person or client has not asked for help withthe person or client has not asked for help withYour “help” makes it easier for the person to feel like Your “help” makes it easier for the person to feel like a victima victimYou are compromising your own valuesYou are compromising your own valuesYou don’t feel right about itYou don’t feel right about itThe person is not growing out of the situationThe person is not growing out of the situation

DiscussionDiscussion

How else do we know when How else do we know when empathy/sympathy or helping gets empathy/sympathy or helping gets unhealthy?unhealthy?

How, as coaches, can we be sure we are How, as coaches, can we be sure we are providing the right kinds of providing the right kinds of empathy/compassion?empathy/compassion?

Developing Your CompassionDeveloping Your Compassion

As a coach, you can always be developing As a coach, you can always be developing your ability to have and show compassionyour ability to have and show compassionI encourage you to truly feelI encourage you to truly feelI encourage you to learn ways to think I encourage you to learn ways to think positively about pain…Learn the difference positively about pain…Learn the difference between pain and sufferingbetween pain and sufferingIf you suffer less in your life, you’ll be If you suffer less in your life, you’ll be much less likely to contribute to your much less likely to contribute to your clients sufferingclients suffering

Final DiscussionFinal Discussion

Any final thoughts?Any final thoughts?

Next SessionNext Session

Calls will be held on Monday nights in Calls will be held on Monday nights in MarchMarch

Next Session…Mon March 21st, 2011Next Session…Mon March 21st, 2011

MasteryMastery