Christmas 2010Christmas 2010

A Holiday A Holiday Survival Survival GuideGuide

Advent Advent ConspiracyConspiracy

1998 Chrysler Intrepid, new 1998 Chrysler Intrepid, new brakes, tires, battery, brakes, tires, battery, starter. Excellent condition, starter. Excellent condition, needs engineneeds engine

““For Sale: One kid’s pony For Sale: One kid’s pony saddle and bridle, $400. saddle and bridle, $400. Comes with free accessories, Comes with free accessories, smashed pony cart, broken smashed pony cart, broken harness and one evil pony”harness and one evil pony”

What makes the What makes the holidays so holidays so stressful? stressful?

What makes the holidays so What makes the holidays so stressful? stressful?

•Christmas Past Christmas Past

•In-laws work your last nerveIn-laws work your last nerve

• Distant brother insults youDistant brother insults you

• Sister thinks she’s better Sister thinks she’s better than youthan you

What makes the holidays so What makes the holidays so stressful? stressful?

• The parent who won’t leave The parent who won’t leave you alone about your weight you alone about your weight or getting marriedor getting married

• Screaming kids Screaming kids

• Food preparationFood preparation

• Buying the perfect presentsBuying the perfect presents

Bring a blank Bring a blank cchalkboardhalkboard

• InsultInsult•SlightSlight•Stabbed in the back againStabbed in the back again•FavoritismFavoritism•Mean wordsMean words

Bring a blank Bring a blank cchalkboardhalkboard

•God never designed our God never designed our chalkboards to have chalkboards to have permanent markerspermanent markers

Bring a blank chalkboard

The eraser principle

““Love is patient, love is kind. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not seeking, it is not easily easily angeredangered, it keeps , it keeps no record no record of wrongsof wrongs” - 1 Cor. 13:4-5” - 1 Cor. 13:4-5

List: What accounts do I need to erase?

Am I willing?

Forgive- to release a person completely from the debt he or she owes through hurtful words or actions...without any expectation of repayment

Note: Forgiveness is not conditioned upon it being requested by the other person

Wise and innocent

How it changes Christmas gatherings: Releases my tension and sets me free to focus on and enjoy the time with my family

Road-bump ahead: it probably won’t change the other person

What's written on my chalkboard right now? Why?

What could be written on someone else's chalkboard about me? How do I feel about it?

Determine in advancewhich hills I’ll die on

The wartime principle

–Purpose

–Strategy that will involve the least number of casualties

Determine in advancewhich hills I’ll die on

War: what’s strategically War: what’s strategically important and what’s not important and what’s not based on the ultimate based on the ultimate purpose of the warpurpose of the war

And what will best bring it And what will best bring it about with the least amount about with the least amount of casualties...of casualties...

Determine in advancewhich hills I’ll die on

When we open presents? When we open presents? Now? Or after dinner?Now? Or after dinner?

Uncle Ray hits the liquor Uncle Ray hits the liquor cabinet…cabinet…

Determine in advancewhich hills I’ll die on

The wartime principle

•Claim the hill in advance

““Be Be completely humble and gentlecompletely humble and gentle; ; be patient, be patient, bearing with one bearing with one anotheranother in love”- Ephesians 4:2 in love”- Ephesians 4:2

Therefore, as God's chosen Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselvesclothe yourselves with with compassion, kindness, humility, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. gentleness and patience. Bear Bear with with each other and forgive each other and forgive whatever grievances you may whatever grievances you may have against one another. have against one another. ForgiveForgive as the Lord forgave youas the Lord forgave you- - Col 3:12-13Col 3:12-13

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone- Romans 12:18

•"If there’s a problem and we’re at war, it had better not be my fault..."

Do they have to meet me halfway?Do they have to meet me halfway?

Save the mortar for the big targets

…as far as it depends on you, live at peace… - Romans 12:18

Dinner? Let's pray…?

Movies for my young children?

How it changes Christmas How it changes Christmas gatheringsgatherings: :

•Gives me a grid for deciding Gives me a grid for deciding when to fight or leave, and when to fight or leave, and when to compromisewhen to compromise

•Kills (some of) the anxiety Kills (some of) the anxiety

How it changes Christmas How it changes Christmas gatheringsgatherings: :

•Gives me a chance to communicate Gives me a chance to communicate major issues in advance, seeking major issues in advance, seeking peace and reconciliationpeace and reconciliation

My kid beat up your hMy kid beat up your honoronor sstudenttudent

• "Mom always liked her better""Mom always liked her better"

• "Dad always paid more "Dad always paid more attention to you"attention to you"

• "Overweight child? Well…my "Overweight child? Well…my Jenny is prom queen this Jenny is prom queen this year…"year…"

My kid beat up your honor My kid beat up your honor studentstudent

• "You lost your job? Let me show "You lost your job? Let me show you my Lexus. Did I tell you we you my Lexus. Did I tell you we just bought a new summer just bought a new summer home?"home?"

•Confess so you can conceive???Confess so you can conceive???

My kid beat up your honor My kid beat up your honor studentstudent

SSallgoodallgood principle principle

–GGratefulrateful for what I have, not for what I have, not upset about how much you upset about how much you havehave

But her house is so big…But her house is so big…

My kid beat up your honor My kid beat up your honor studentstudent

Sallgood principleSallgood principle

– I know wI know whoho I am instead I am instead of needing you to tell meof needing you to tell me

– I live off GI live off God’sod’s approval so approval so I don’t need yoursI don’t need yours

My kid beat up your honor My kid beat up your honor studentstudent

Sallgood principleSallgood principle

–Where I struggle with my Where I struggle with my value is an indicator of my value is an indicator of my faithfaith

Additional TipsAdditional Tips: :

–Know in advance it’s comingKnow in advance it’s coming

–Smile and resist the urge to Smile and resist the urge to fight backfight back

–Look to the truth beyond Look to the truth beyond the truththe truth

How it changes Christmas gatherings:

Gives me peace, centers me on what’s really important and places me outside the turmoil of my family

•Remember the loss, but Remember the loss, but celebrate the lifecelebrate the life

•Be sensitive if other family Be sensitive if other family members can’t see the empty members can’t see the empty chair right nowchair right now

Acknowledge the Acknowledge the eemptympty c chairhair

His divine power has given us His divine power has given us everything we need for life everything we need for life and godliness through our and godliness through our knowledge of him who called knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and us by his own glory and goodness - 2 Peter 1:3goodness - 2 Peter 1:3