Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Rector’s Conference

Msgr. David L. Toups23 October 2019

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

• Very real lies of today being planted in our hearts by the world and the evil one:

• The Church is corrupt as an institution and therefore can’t be trusted.

• Celibacy is unnatural and unhealthy

• Pedophilia is a result of celibacy

• No one is living out chaste celibacy in a healthy and faithful way…so why am I trying?

• We need to acknowledge this and bring it to prayer!

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Priestly celibacy is primordially Christological:

“The fact that Christ himself, the eternal priest, lived his mission even to the sacrifice of the Cross in the state of virginity constitutes the sure point of reference for understanding the meaning of the tradition of the Latin Church. It is not sufficient to understand priestly celibacy in purely functional terms. Celibacy is really a special way of conforming oneself to Christ’s own way of life.”

• Benedict XVI, Sacramentum Caritatis, 24 (2007).

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

“Freely renounce marriage for the sake of the Kingdom” (Mt. 19:12).

“Sign and stimulus of love, and as a singular source of spiritual fertility in the world” (LG 42 and PPF 26).

Stages in Life – varying challenges on the different dimensions:• Youth – physical aspect and paternity• Middle-aged – intimacy and companionship• Older – accompaniment and legacy

• Be not afraid!

• God doesn’t ask us to do what He doesn’t also give us the grace to fulfill.

• Difficult moments to be sure, but a glorious life in Christ!

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Temptations arise, and thus we remain with/in Christ:• “For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, In a land parched, lifeless,

and without water” (Ps. 63:2) yearning to be held

• “I think of you upon my bed, I remember you through the watches of the night. […] My soul clings fast to you; your right hand upholds me” (Ps. 63:7, 9) middle of the night or early morning – thank God I am alive!

• Acknowledge, relate, receive, respond – “creative suffering love”

• Desire to know and be known, love and be loved (Logos and Agape)

• List of temptations and remedies: Fr. Carter Griffin, Why Celibacy? Reclaiming the Fatherhood of the Priest, pg. 121.

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Skills for celibate living (Br. John Mark Falkenhain, OSB, PhD):

• Affective maturity (emotional intelligence)

• Establishing and maintaining boundaries

• Capacity for solitude

• Community as a source of support and accountability

• Coping with temptations and falling in love

• “To announce you must first renounce” • Pope Francis on World Mission Sunday (10/20/19)

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Eros and Agape for we need to love and be loved!!!“[It] must mean letting oneself be consumed by passion for God and subsequently, thanks to a more intimate way of being with him, to serve men an women, too” (Benedict XVI 21 December 2006)

Eros – God’s passionate pursuit

Agape – our response: selfless/self-emptying gift • Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est in 2006

• My article is attached from 26 September 2009 expounding on this topic

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

• Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI defines eros as “that love between man and woman which is neither planned nor willed, but somehow imposes itself upon human beings. […] The Greeks—not unlike other cultures—considered eros principally as a kind of intoxication, the overpowering of reason by a ‘divine madness’ which tears man away from his finite existence and enables him, in the very process of being overwhelmed by divine power, to experience supreme happiness” (DCE, 3-4).

• The two loves, eros and agape, have been contrasted as ascending and descending love respectively. The Holy Father rightly notes that these two loves can never be truly separated: “eros which seeks God and agapewhich passes on the gift received” (DCE, 7).

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

• Living the charism of celibacy is a grace that comes from above, and it must be seen as a gift and not a task, indeed, the “precious gift of God” (Optatam Totius, 10). It is a gift which should lead one to fruitfulness in pastoral charity and intimate communion with God in prayer.

• “For the sake of the Kingdom” not just in an eschatological sense but in an apostolic/missionary sense – “superhero’s theology of celibacy” or “martyr’s theology of celibacy” – my life is expendable, I can live like a martyr without fear!

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

“It is at the Cross where the priest in the sting of his celibacy becomes a husband to the Church and a spiritual father. For the celibate priest, the Cross is his marriage bed, just as it was for Our Lord. […] We priests get into trouble when we try to run away from this mystery or refuse to enter into it. The only fruitful love is the love that flows from the Cross. For this reason the celibate priest’s spousal and paternal love must be more, not less, and it has the potential to become superabundant because it is so sacrificial.”

• Msgr. John Cihak, “The BVM’s Role in the Celibate Priest's Spousal and Paternal Role”http://www.ignatiusinsight.com/features2009/jcihak_maryandpriests1_july09.asp

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Now is your time of Discernment

Fidelity for Life to my spouse and children (the Church!)

Am I living it now?• Then be at peace! Evil one loves to lead us to fantasy and fear!

• What am I obsessing about?

• Be in relationship with God first and foremost and healthy friendships and support structures

Reality of falling in love at some point and vice versa!!! (don’t be surprised)

Live like a man in Love!

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

“My first wife made me a success, and with my second wife I have been very successful”

• Discussion from 26 years ago

• How could I turn my back on my bride who made me who I am?

• As a father, how could I do that to my children?

• We take vows/promises to get us through the tough times.

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Contextualize so as not to be obsessive

Pope Francis to the Jesuits in Mozambique on September 5, 2019

“One dimension of clericalism is the exclusive moral fixation on the

sixth commandment. Once a Jesuit, a great Jesuit, told me to be careful

in giving absolution, because the most serious sins are those that are

more angelical: pride, arrogance, dominion… And the least serious are

those that are less angelical, such as greed and lust. We focus on sex

and then we do not give weight to social injustice, slander, gossip and

lies. The Church today needs a profound conversion in this area.”

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

The internet provides further temptations in our day:• Misuse of social media – be free!

• Invitation to assess leisure screen time and process with your Spiritual director and Formation Advisor

• Don’t fear, but do flee!

• 70% of men struggle on some level

• “It’s not your fault, but it is your problem!”

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

I-FACTS (developed by Kenrick-Glennon Seminary) to be sent as PDF

I – Impact on Life

F – Frequency

A – Attempt to Modify

C – Content

T – Triggers

S – Student ResponseWebsite to assess your involvement on a continuum

https://www.discoverandchange.com/assessing-pornography-addiction/

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

“Let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us.”

• Hebrews 12:1

“For freedom we have been set free!”• Galatians 5:1

Chaste Celibacy and Spiritual Fatherhood

Chaste Celibate Living: Free, Total, Faithful, and Fruitful

1. What are the “un-freedoms” in my life with regards to chaste celibacy – unhealthy friendships, habits/addictions, fantasies, etc.? And do I truly desire to be free?

2. Is my self-gift as total as a married man who labors all day and then comes home to his truest “work” in the home caring for his wife and children?

3. Am I faithful to being intimately nourished by the Lord on a daily basis so that my deepest needs are met by Him?

4. Do I take the time to reflect on the profundity of my mission and the extraordinary fruitfulness of my life?

Seek prayer for deliverance from any obsessions

St. Joseph be our guide!

3 levels of fatherhood:

• Biological

• Nurturing: provide, guide and

protect

• Supernatural = ultimate goal and

what we do!

“All of us, to exist, to become complete, in order to be mature, we need to feel the joy of fatherhood:

even those of us who are celibate. [… Otherwise] something is missing in this man. Something is

wrong.” (Pope Francis, 26 June 2013).

Mary, Cause of our Joy, Pray for us!

“Priestly celibacy is directed primarily to the

holiness of the Christian people… [it] is a gift

ordered primarily to the fulfillment of priestly

supernatural fatherhood.” (Why Celibacy? pg. 68)

• We are celibate fathers for our family!

• “For the task of heavenly regeneration” (PO 16)

• Go deeper into relationship with Mary, Mother and

Model of the Church

“If he does ‘take her to his own home,’ however, the priest will find in Mary a pattern of unreserved love

that can enflame his own celibate love for God’s people, become a stalwart ally in his battle against sin and

evil, and be a powerful source of supernatural fruitfulness” (Why Celibacy? pg. 161).