Chapter Six: Developing and Maintaining Relationships What is Interpersonal Communication? At...
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Transcript of Chapter Six: Developing and Maintaining Relationships What is Interpersonal Communication? At...
Chapter Six: Developing and Maintaining Relationships What is Interpersonal Communication? At least two people who are interdependent. Allows for mutual opportunities for both speaking and
listening. We must have knowledge of the other person’s
personal characteristics, qualities, and behaviors. Behaviors between both people have consistent
patterns and rituals: greetings, terms, actions. Interpersonal relationships develop over time. None of our interpersonal relationships are quite the
same. An interesting question is how are social networking
sites changing the nature of interpersonal relationships and communication?
The Importance of Interpersonal Relationships
People have THREE Interpersonal Needs: The Need for Inclusion and being involved with
others. The need for Affection and feelings toward others. The need for control and ability to influence others
and our environment. Complementary Relationships: relationships in
which each person supplies something the other person lacks (an introvert and an extrovert).
Symmetrical Relationships: relationships in which participants mirror each other or are highly similar.
Self-Disclosure
Making intentional revelations about yourself that others would not be likely to know and would consider private and sensitive.
Why is self-disclosure important? Allows us to develop an understanding of
ourselves. Allows us to develop a more positive attitude
about ourselves. Allows us to develop more meaningful
relationships: they grow in depth and meaning. Can be used inappropriately too. Too much information, negative information,
too much too quickly.
What Factors Affect Appropriate Self-Disclosure?
Disclosure generally increases as relational intimacy increases.
Disclosure needs to be reciprocal: we need to share the same breadth and depth of information.
Disclosure may be avoided for a variety of reasons: self-protection, social context, culture, partner unresponsiveness.
Disclosure varies across cultures. Disclosure varies by gender. Females self-disclose more than males. Males disclose more negative information than do
females. Satisfaction is highest when self-disclosure is moderate.
The Importance of Friendships
Friendships change over time. The quality of friendships is affected by
psychological predispositions: attachment styles, maturity.
Friendship maintenance depends on the intent of the partners.
Friendships are not defined the same way in all cultures.
Stages in Interpersonal Relationships:
Relational Development: the process by which relationships grow.
Initiating: First impressions and finding common ground. Exploratory: Deciding to get serious; sharing “safe”
personal information. Intensification: involves active participation and mutual
concern. Stable: Mirroring each other’s behavior; shared interests
and values; integrate. Bonding: Exchange personal commitment to each other. Relational Maintenance: establish strategies for keeping
the relationship together, stabilize a level of intimacy.
Stages in Interpersonal Relationships:
Relational Deterioration: Differentiation: start emphasizing differences
rather than similarities. Circumscribing: decreased interaction and less
sharing. Stagnating: Lack of activity together; things are
done out of convenience. Avoiding: Reluctance to interact, avoidance and
perhaps hostility. Terminating: No longer see themselves as a
pair.
Motivations for Initiating Relationships Proximity: being close to people (work, school) leads to
Interpersonal relationships Attractiveness: the person’s physical attractiveness plus
their “social value”. Responsiveness: we select friends from people who show an
interest in us. Similarity: our friends like or dislike the same things we do. Complimentary: we sometimes bond with people whose
strengths are our weaknesses. People often maintain their relationships for different
reasons that initially beginning them. People that are most satisfied with their relationships tend to
work the hardest to maintain them (they may use the joint “we” rather than “I”).
Motivations for Terminating Relationships
Hurtful messages: can become a problem when they become a pattern.
Deceptive Communication. Aggressiveness: care about their own
needs at the expense of others. Argumentativeness: always combative. Defensiveness.
Developing a Unique Relationship Personal Idioms: unique forms of
expression or language only understood by the partners.
Rituals: actions or patterns the couple follow regularly.
Couple-time. Daily routines and tasks. Intimacy. Communication. Patterns and habits.
Behavioral Flexibility : the ability to alter behavior and adapt new situations.
You can act relaxed with friends but professional at a job interview.
Studies suggest those with stereotypically male and female traits are most successful in their interactions with others.
A flexible person can draw on a repertoire of behaviors, knows social context cues and when self-disclosure is appropriate.