Chapter FourAchieving a Readable Style

Basic Principles of Effective Style Determine your reader’s knowledge of the

subject. Determine if a particular style will be expected. Anticipate your reader’s comprehension level in

a given context. Know your relationship to your reader and how

you want to sound. Adjust the style to the reader, purpose, and the

context.

Revising Paragraphs Begin paragraphs with topic sentences (central

statements). Build paragraphs with a group of sentences that

coherently develop the central statement. Use a moderate paragraph length. Use transitions between ideas. Use lists when they better emphasize and

develop the topic ideas.

Revising Sentences Select your level of language; adjust the density

of information. Watch sentence length. Keep subjects and verbs close together. Omit verbiage; use concrete verbs. Write “squeaky clean” prose. Avoid ponderous language.

Revising Sentences Avoid excessive use of is/are verb forms.

Avoid beginning sentences with there is, there are, there was, or there were.

Avoid beginning sentences with phrases such as it is clear that, it is evident that, or it should be noted that.

Choose a specific verb rather than is, was, and were verb forms.

Revising Sentences Use active voice for clarity. Define when necessary. Avoid impersonal language.

Sentence Revision Example: Watch Sentence Length

Before: This Appendix contains a brief discussion of certain economic and demographic Characteristics of the Area in which the County is located and does not constitute a part of this Official Statement: Information in this Appendix has been obtained from the sources noted, where are believed to be reliable, although no investigation has been made to verify the accuracy of such information.

After: This Appendix contains a brief discussion of certain economic and demographic characteristics of the Area in which the County is located. The Appendix does not constitute part of this Official Statement. Information in the Appendix has been obtained from the sources noted. They are believed to be reliable. However, the accuracy of the information has not been verified.

Sentence Revision Example: Keep Subjects and Verbs Close Together

s v s v

Good: John loves Mary because she inherited

money. (verb/word ratio = 2/7)

s v

Poor: Mary’s inheritance of money was one of the reasons for John’s interest in Mary. (verb/word ratio = 1/12)

Sentence Revision Example: Omit Verbiage; Use Concrete Verbs

Instead of excessive words Use simple words

at a later date later

at the present time now

for the reason that/being because

Instead of weak verb phrases Use direct verbs

give approval to approve

have a tendency to tend to

have a discussion about discuss

Sentence Revision Example: Omit Verbiage; Use Concrete Verbs

Instead of redundancies Use simple words

absolutely free free

consensus of opinion consensus

exactly identical (exact same) identical (same)

Sentence Revision Example: Avoid Excessive Use of Is/Are Verbs

Poor: Delegation is a means of lessening the manger’s work load.

Good: Managers who delegate reduce their work loads.

Poor: There are two systems presently available for testing job candidates.

Good: Two available systems can test job candidates.

Sentence Revision Example: Use Active Voice for Clarity

Passive: Attempts were made by the division staff to assess the project.

Active: The division staff attempted to assess the project.

Passive: The door is to be locked at 6 p.m.

Active: The last person leaving the building at 6 p.m. should lock the door.

Sentence Revision Example: Avoid Impersonal Language

Poor: As a result of their expertise, the consulting team is provided with the opportunity to make a reasonable determination of the appropriate direction to proceed regarding their selection of information systems.

Good: The consulting team has the expertise to select the best information systems.

Poor: It is our contention that the necessary modifications should be made to make the system operational because its complete replacement is economically prohibitive.

Good: We believe that the system should be modified to make it operational. Complete replacement costs too much.