Those Crazy Royals: Give me those Boys, Boys…crap

Hello and welcome to another addition of those Crazy Royals. Before we return you to your regular scheduled program I would like to point out how messy this family is. I mean how long have those dishes been sitting there? Also this nanny is no help at all. The children don’t need bottles every five seconds! Ok I’m done. Now I will return you to the story.

“Yes yes you are almost pretty enough to be my queen. You might do well an a concubine though.”

“Oh happy day the prince thinks I’m…Wait a second.”

“What do you mean almost pretty enough?!? I’m the best looking mail lady ever!”

“Lalala don’t want to hear it. Go get me a juice wench.”

Oh God. Please don’t hurt the child he doesn’t know any better.

The day after Willy boy --.

“I told you to stop calling me that!”

I do what I want Willy boy. Them’s the breaks. Anyway the day after Willy Boy turned into the little spoiled prince it was Adeliza turn to show us what she’s got. Aww she’s adorable don’t you think Alex?

“Oh God.”

What?

“She’s not very pretty. I mean did you see that mug?”

What are you talking about? She’s gorgeous.

“I can see all the teasing now. She’s going to need therapy soon to deal with her ugliness. Oh God my poor baby!”

…Ok while Alex deals with her sight problems let’s move on.

See what I mean. She’s adorable.

“Iw said no pictuwes.”

Oh come on everyone wants to see how cute you are.

“No no images fow the pwess. It awways comes back and bites you in the--.”

Ok really William? Teaching her how to swear already? I swear I will never let you become friends with your children if this is what you do.

…That’s a sight for the ages right there. Baby really got back…oh God I really just said that. *hangs head in shame* But I mean look at it. Alex you have one glitched up body.

“I think we should have another child. Want to try right now?”

“You have got to be kidding me William. I just got back to work. Can’t we wait?”

“We waited till Adeliza’s birthday. Wasn’t that the plan?”

“I didn’t agree on this!”

Umm Alex you signed up for this so I want to hear a lullaby. We need another boy.

“Oh I hope my lovely wife likes these roses. She’s the apple of my eye. The cream to my sugar. I love her like a fat kid --.”

I think we get it William. You love her. Now go back inside before you scare the neighbors

“Oh I hope my lovely wife likes these roses. She’s the apple of my eye. The cream to my sugar. I love her like a fat kid --.”

…What the hell? Yea there seems to be a glitch in my game that whenever my sims have a dream date and go to give the flowers…they keep giving the flowers. I couldn’t pick them up and delete them because they were always in use. Finally I broke down and used moveobject since there was no other option. Stupid glitches.

How’s your muffin?

“Can’t you make my parents cook for me? I mean this has to be some sort of abuse.”

And have you not know how to fend for yourself? I don’t think so. Go studying cooking or something.

“*%&@($…*looks at son* I mean oh praise the lord another baby.”

“Wench lady when can I move out?”

Soon kid soon.

Wait Alex get out of that car! You are suppose to be on leave.

“Nope sorry if I want to get ahead in my job I need to take every day I can. Drive lady drive!”

Awww I love this interaction. I do this with the kids I nanny with too…except they like to crush my toes…still so cute.

“That’s it father. Trust me. Fall for the cute act and then someday soon…”

“Did you say something son?”

“I love you daddy!”

“Awww I love you too son.”

“MAUWHAHAHAHA!”

“Ummm Wench lady the nanny is using an evil laugh.”

…Yea ummm I don’t know what that is about.

“I will destroy this family with the cunning use of desserts.”

“Oooo this smells wonderful nanny!”

“Mommy I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. I mean she was just laughing maniacally. It could be poisoned.”

“Oh sweetie you and your conspiracy theories.”

“Ok but I warned you.”

“Don’t mind him nanny. It smells wonderful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome…*mumbles* have fun with the twins”

I would say “Dun dun dun” at this point except that I was so happy when the nanny did this. I want that boy and the more chances I can fit in for him the better. Eat up Alex.

While we wait for the results of the cheesecake to pop into existence I would like to point out how much I love mean sims. Willy boy here is hilarious I can’t wait to see him when he’s older.

“No mom seriously there is a rioting mob coming. I can see the fire in the distance.”

Come on Alex give me those boys!

“Oh my god is this going to get sticky or messy at all? I don’t do well in messy situations.”

Go wait inside for the birthday dude. You aren’t necessary.

“I’m safe! I’m safe…I mean awww I so wanted a little brother.”

Shut it William. Gah! Two little girls. I only took picture of one of them since they really aren’t going to be important. Only one girl will be anything more than a place holder. We got Cecilia and Agatha. Cecilia became the Abbess of Holy Trinity and died peacefully inside the abbey walls.

Agatha’s story is a lot sadder. She fell in love with an Englishman but was demanded in marriage by a Spaniard, Alphonso VI. But she hated the idea and prayed day and night that the Lord would take her instead. Her prayers were answered and she died while on route to Spain.

“Thank the Lord my children are born! Bring me my sons!”

“You have two more beautiful little girls.”

“Girls? Oh…well I’ll be inside making friends.”

Ouch that was harsh William.

Now that the unnecessary girls are born and in their cribs it’s time for Adeliza to exit the world of the tiny red potty. William get up and celebrate. It’s your sister’s birthday!

“Nope sorry don’t really care.”

Oh you’re going to want to watch the glitchy birthday.

“Oh fine. This better be good.”

Yea it was pretty amusing. First one of the random townies opens the door right into Alex.

“Hmmm where did this headache come from? I was fine a second ago. Oh well you ready Adeliza?”

Alex I think you are suppose to put the kid down so she can grow up.

“But she’s my baby. I don’t want to let go.”

Ok I warned you.

Ok that’s just not right.

“Wow honey can we maybe try that in bed tonight?”

EWWW William!! Go to your pervy corner.

“Aww man.”

Did I not say this would be worth putting down your homework for William?

“…Do you think we should maybe call the doctor? Mommy?”

Naww they’ll be fine. You go run off and play…or go get some cake.

“I don’t want to…I’m good.”

You’re lose. Anyone else cake?

*crickets chirping*

With two more girls it’s time for William and Alex to get back to the baby making. William finally figured out the key to stop Alex’s complaining…ahhh foreplay. It’s a beautiful thing.

Our little prince is growing up so fast. Aww here comes the water works.

“Yea yea shut it and let me grow up.”

Yep so adorable.

Here is our heir in all his mean but nerdy glory. Yep he’s a Knowledge sim with the LTW to become a Space Pirate. Easy Peezy Lemon Sqeezey.

“Who’s the dork here.”

…Shut up.

The twins grew up so I decided on giving them a little test. Who can learn to walk the fastest. Agatha is the brown bear. Cecilia is the grey one.

…Yea Agatha didn’t do so well.

“Mommy? Daddy? Pway wi me?”

Oh geez this was so sad but there was no way I was letting her down those stairs. With that playful nature I could just see the flooded bathroom.

Cecilia is just evil. Serious and evil. The perfect combination for a princess.

Ok who thought it was a good idea to let the nanny who for some unknown reason wants to ruin the legacy play with fire? Not cool people.

“What’s the matter? Afraid of little old me?”

Not really I mean you lit the dessert on fire not the house. You suck at being evil really.

“&%)#W@Q @O$# $&)@#!!!”

You ok Alex?

“I literally got one day of work and bam I’m pregnant again!”

Don’t worry you will be permaplatnium…just when you’re all old and stuff.

“Where did you see the mob William? All I see is the wall.”

“Oh they’re there. They even have signs saying ‘kill the princess’.”

William still cheats at chess thought Adeliza isn’t as smart as her mother and never catches him.

I had Alex save the cheesecake from last time. There is no harm in one more set of twins right?

“Wait this is what made me have twins?!? *spits out food*

Nope sorry already in your system. Wont work. I win.

“I hate you.”

I know.

Fast forward a few days since nothing really happened in this family yet. Potty training, skilling, burnt muffins. You all know the deal. Hey look Alex is in labor.

“I hate you!”

Yea yea you said that last slide. Give me the boy.

*simultaneously* WOOOTT!!! “WOOOTTT!!!”

We have a boy!! Everyone meet Henry“Beauclerc” so named for his scholarly interests. To tell you more would ruin the story but I would keep your eye on this one.

Oh the other twin? It was a girl of course. Do I have a picture? No I don’t care about her.

Apparently neither do her parents. While William puts Henry in his crib Alex decides she would rather play punching games with her son then take Constance off the floor.

Constance was said to be the most gifted of William the Conqueror's daughters. She was her mother’s favorite (already proved to be untrue in this family) and was given in marriage Alan IV, Duke of Brittany. Well neither husband nor people liked Constance very much and it’s said that she was poisoned. She died childless and her husband remarried 3 years later.

Because I refuse to buy two more cribs hey let’s have a late night family party for the twins. Oh yea the guy in the background was a head master. He did not have fun and William and Adeliza did not get into private school…then.

“Look I grew up! I’m cute and mean and everything I writer could want in a subject!”

Yep Cecilia grew up to be a spoiled brat. Who could have seen that one coming?

“Hey I grew up too!”

“What…oh yea…good for you kid.”

No one really seemed to care about little Agatha. Other than her father no one watched her grow up and I have a sneaking suspicion that he had just walked in.

“I heard there was cake.”

“Oh Ceci at least I have you.”

“Woah woah woah what’s with the touching? I don’t like you.”

“But…but we’re twins.”

“That does not mean you are allowed to touch me in any way.”

William here finally reached the top of the journalism career. Just in time too. I need him to be platinum for…

“Uhhhh my back!”

Yep the king is old. Let’s spin the wheel and see what we get shall we?

Usually I would rush a elder makeover but…to the store for you!

There we go much better. How do you feel?

“I feel like you are trying to turn me into Patrick Stewart with this baldness.”

…No…I mean how could you think such a thing…even though Patrick Stewart is a very nice look older man who is a major Shakespearean actor, which I love…Oh Jean-Luc Picard…No! Preposterous I just made you look good.

“Hey you! Yes you sexy thing you! I mean even though the narrator spent all this time trying to get a second boy doesn’t mean you aren’t getting the crown. You are king material. Yes you are. I could list the reasons why you should be king but hey you don’t need that. No you heir to the throne you.”

…William is having a bit of a problem adjusting to the fact that there is a second prince in the house.

“Look Adeliza the mob is back!”

“What?!? Where?!? Oh God I have to hide!”

“Hehehe sucker.”

Got to love a mean sim praying on the stupid ones.

*simultaneously* “Ahhh must protect my face!”

…Ok while both of you protect your face who is throwing the snowball?

Time for Adeliza to join her brother in the teen world….umm Alex you are blocking my shot of the birthday girl.

Here is Adeliza in all her family sim glory. Would be easy if I was going to play her out the nice and simple way but…

“I’m not even going to have a first kiss am I?”

Probably not. Sorry babe don’t like you enough but hey you can go to college.

“Oh daddy I’m so glad you are home from work!…Daddy?”

“Who is this freaking kid talking to me? Why should I even care?”

That is your daughter William. It’s Agatha.

“Yea yea just another girl. Who needs them.”

“Daddy! I’m right here!”

Adeliza realizing this might be her only contact with children ever starts to take an interest in her little siblings. Even helping the bald little Constance grow up. Wow this girl really isn’t getting any breaks.

Even so Constance did have one purpose. While Henry refused to grow up William decided to pay attention to the easier toddler. Constance became his 20th best friend. Our king will never be sad again. Let the lose of the friends began.

I finally broke down and got a cake for the little prince.

“Oh just leave him a baby. He’ll grow up when he is ready.”

Shut it William I’m sick of diapers.

Awww he’s cute…in a looking exactly like his brother kind of way. Yea all the kids look a like this generation. I always forget about the dice thing. The kids are pretty much in two groups. The ones with 1 nice point and the ones with 6. Henry here has 6. I believe William had 1 so they might turn out to be a little different at least.

“Oh god that smells. Cecilia pick that up!”

“Me? Why don’t you do it?”

“Duh. I’m the heir to the throne. I don’t pick up trash.”

“Well your highness I’m a princess and neither do I. You do it.”

Someone just pick of the trash!

“That’s it. No one listens to me and this old jeezer still sits on the throne. I’m out of here.”

“Bye William don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

“I’ll be back old man and that crown will be mine.”

Actually the only one wearing a crown is Agatha. You’re going to steal from a little kid? I’m appalled William. Shocked and Appalled.

*taps microphone* At no time watching the Angorlum family did I ever see any kind of child neglect. None what so ever.

Seriously every single time Henry grows up he is about to die. Thank goodness his sister was there to take care of him. I have no idea where his parents were. Also ouch Henry. That must hurt.

But when he’s happy my goodness is he cute. Hey there cutey.

“Bwock go down the howe.”

At least that was the idea. Cute but dumb as nails. Smart milk is a must with this one.

“What is this disgusting thing?”

Well your mom got a raise so I decided on buying a nice TV. What’s wrong with that?

“How dare you try to corrupt our minds with this trash!”

“Ugh how could you?”

…I’m sorry I didn’t know it would be such a problem. God you don’t have to be so mean about it.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here but I’m out of here. First letting my brother fall asleep on the floor and then buying us a TV. God you’re horrible.”

Adeliza felt that she had hit her teenage peak and because I would never let her go after anyone she was always in the green. College might be better for her.

“I might get to kiss someone? Hug someone? Get some fort of non platonic love? I’m there.”

I’m not promising anything but you have a better chance there then here. Speaking of college let’s check in with William.

“What?”

Hey there William you want to fill us in on what you’ve been doing during your semester of college without your siblings.

“Yea sure…”

When I first got here I was still a little home sick and since I was the first one to move in I decided to see what was happening at home…let’s just say what I saw made it quite clear that I had made the right decision leaving.

Author’s note: Did you notice the better graphics? Thanks to all you on boolprop that pointed that out to me.

Mom apparently could sense I needed her because she came by shouting about my spying habits. I was a little too busy to deal with her though…she seemed confused by the stairs.

“How do I get up there to hell at my son?”

I wasn’t feeling really princely in the clothes I had so I went down to the local clothing store to get some new threads. The ladies love a man with good clothes…I wasn’t really loving the ladies that were there though. Just not my type really. I can do better for a queen. Plus I needed to get back to the dorms and work on my skills. Girls love guys with skills.

Like ball throwing skills…

“Oh god William not so hard!”

Dancing skills…

Athletic skills….

Conversation skills…

“You take that back! Everyone did love Joey!!”

“Jeez man I just never really watched Friends. That’s all.”

“I mean I’m a class ‘A’ act. What can I say? Everyone loves me.”

This dormie didn’t seem to love William at all.

“You moved *twitch* the chess *twitch* pieces *twitch* again.”

“No I mean it. He just keeps walking down the stairs because he’s really nervous to talk to you. Your prince has really come.”

“Where? Where? Charming? Where are you?”

“God you did it again!”

“I didn’t do anything and even if I did what are you going to do about? You’ve been falling for the same line for the last 5 hours.”

“I mean…Oh my god a cow making out with a llama and a bear!”

Yep William has been having the time of his life without his siblings to bother him.

On another note his teeth in this picture just make we laugh every time. Perfect stereotypical yuppie British teeth there.

Back at the legacy lot things are as bad as ever. You know in a house full of neat freaks it’s awfully disgusting. The rotting food and the burnt muffin pretty much explain this family to the T.

“Daddy can’t we eat at the table?”

“Are you willing to clean it off so we can? I’m sure not. Let’s just wait for the maid. It’s good for you to stand.”

With the nanny cooking dessert everyday and them never cleaning no one ever really eats at that table. The maid deserves a reward for working for this family.

First making sure Alex was platinum by throwing a little party Alex was ready to start worrying about grandchildren and depends.

I warn you now her face is not that pretty anymore. In fact it kind of scares me sometimes.

“Wow are these what fingers look like?”

You’ve always had fingers.

“But before they were all stuck together…”

“See I can bend them separately and everything.”

Wow very nice. Now let’s stop talking about your fingers and turn to how much you need a makeover. I have no idea where the brown came from.

There is Alex all made over and respectable but I tried not to take too many pictures of her face. Her cheekbone poke out so much from her skinny jaw she looks like the tales from the Crypt guy.

On another note I decided on not wasting the party I gave to Alex so it’s the twins birthday. No more training for you guys!

“WOOOTTT!!! My little brother is growing up!! WOOT!!!”

*Crickets chirping*

“What?”

Everyone knows you hate your brother William. You might want to tone it down a bit.

“Fine I’ll just stand here a glare at everyone. The crown will be mine and no spoiled brat is going to stop me from getting it.”

Everyone seems to be as happy as I am that this is the last of the toddlers for this generation. Soon they will all be off at college and the real fun can start.

Again as soon as Henry grows up he’s ready to fall down.

“Find me a bed Wench! I need sleep!”

I was going to help you but not after that. There are about seven beds in this place. Find one.

“Plllleeeeaaasssseeee?”

Gah fine!

Constance had no trouble finding a bed…even though it was her parent’s bed.

“Hey have you seen my wife? I’d rather have my daughter there then my wife.”

We had two stragglers when the party ended. Kerie the mail lady just sat around in the kids rooms.

“The older one promised me a place in this house and I plan on waiting till I get it.”

He was five! Also he said you were mistress material not queen.

“Maybe his brother will feel differently. I’ll wait and see.

Also Adeliza wouldn’t budge from the piano.

“You promised me a life when I got to college. I want to come back home.”

Sorry doesn’t work that way.

That’s it for this chapter. Next time we see all the children grow up and move out…will the crown finally change hands? What will happen to all these girls? Will William Jr. ever find a good use for all his skills? See you later….

“…A little help here?”