Chapter 12Chapter 12Marrying: Finding a Life Marrying: Finding a Life

PartnerPartnerSacrament: a) an outward sign instituted by Sacrament: a) an outward sign instituted by Christ Christ to give graceto give grace b) a symbolic, communal action b) a symbolic, communal action whereby one whereby one shares in the life of God through shares in the life of God through Jesus. (7 Major)Jesus. (7 Major) c) an outer expression of a c) an outer expression of a deeper, inner realitydeeper, inner reality

(Grace: the favor, help, or good will or gift of (Grace: the favor, help, or good will or gift of God by which one is internally sanctified, or God by which one is internally sanctified, or blessed to be more holy: whole, complete)blessed to be more holy: whole, complete)

Finding That One Special Finding That One Special Person/Partner for LifePerson/Partner for LifeCommunication: Honest and OpenCommunication: Honest and OpenRelating: Listening and Responding Relating: Listening and Responding AuthenticallyAuthentically

Sacrament of Marriage/Holy Sacrament of Marriage/Holy Matrimony:Matrimony: a public sign that one gives oneself a public sign that one gives oneself totally totally to this other person. to this other person.

It is also a public statement about God: It is also a public statement about God: the loving union of husband and wife the loving union of husband and wife speaks of family values and also God's speaks of family values and also God's values: OT/Xtvalues: OT/Xt

Covenant:Covenant: a) deeply, personal, solemn a) deeply, personal, solemn promisepromise b) formal, binding b) formal, binding agreement/promise/contractagreement/promise/contract

• Many older Catholics will still remember the very Many older Catholics will still remember the very brief definition from the Baltimore Catechism brief definition from the Baltimore Catechism (1941): "A (1941): "A sacramentsacrament is an outward sign is an outward sign instituted instituted by Christ to give grace." by Christ to give grace."

• The current official The current official Catechism of the Catholic ChurchCatechism of the Catholic Church (1994; 2nd edition 1997), gives a slightly more (1994; 2nd edition 1997), gives a slightly more complete definition: "The sacraments are efficacious complete definition: "The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the church, by which divine life is dispensed to us. The the church, by which divine life is dispensed to us. The visible rites by which the sacraments are celebrated visible rites by which the sacraments are celebrated signify and make present the graces proper to each signify and make present the graces proper to each sacrament. They bear fruit in those who receive them sacrament. They bear fruit in those who receive them with the required dispositions." (CCC, §1131; see also with the required dispositions." (CCC, §1131; see also "Sacrament" in the CCC's Glossary). "Sacrament" in the CCC's Glossary).

Chapter 13Chapter 13Growth in MarriageGrowth in Marriage

The Blessings of Family LifeThe Blessings of Family Life

Seasons of a MarriageSeasons of a Marriage(Text Pages 243—250)(Text Pages 243—250)

• And they live happily ever after! And they live happily ever after! Really?Really?

• Not exactly…Not exactly…

Reality:Reality: happiness requires work happiness requires work

happiness is not automatichappiness is not automatic

Marriage is always a “work in Marriage is always a “work in progress.”progress.”

Marriage is a Marriage is a dynamic dynamic relationship with relationship with

• Seasons of Seasons of struggle and struggle and satisfactionsatisfaction

• Sorrow and JoySorrow and Joy• Calling for Calling for

constant growing constant growing and adjusting and adjusting

• Veteran marriage Veteran marriage partners exude a partners exude a rich sense of peace.rich sense of peace.

• It is the fruit of It is the fruit of years spent sharing years spent sharing and supporting and supporting each other through each other through high points and low high points and low points of existence.points of existence.

TraditionalTraditional type of type of

family:family:

mother and father mother and father married,married,

living together, and living together, and raisingraising

children together.children together.

Not the only kind of Not the only kind of family family

that is wonderful to grow that is wonderful to grow

up in.up in.

A A blendedblended family—in whichchildren from two formermarriages combine into a

newfamily with one parent from each marriage—can be

healthy and nurturing, as can a

familyheaded by a single parent. And there are other lovingfamily combinations

A great deal of A great deal of developmentdevelopment goes on goes on throughout the years in all marriages: throughout the years in all marriages:

a) in the couple’s relationship with each other;a) in the couple’s relationship with each other;

b) in their roles as parents;b) in their roles as parents;

c) in their individual lives as persons c) in their individual lives as persons andand professionals.professionals.

A developmental pattern seems to emerge in A developmental pattern seems to emerge in most marriages that involve children, a most marriages that involve children, a pattern that can be thought of as seven pattern that can be thought of as seven seasons of a marriage:seasons of a marriage:

1)Blissful Beginnings: Years One and Two1)Blissful Beginnings: Years One and Two

2) Becoming Domestic: Years Three to Five2) Becoming Domestic: Years Three to Five

3) Time of Decision: Years Six to Twelve3) Time of Decision: Years Six to Twelve

4) Strength and Renewal: Years Thirteen to Eighteen4) Strength and Renewal: Years Thirteen to Eighteen

5) Midlife Transitions: Years Nineteen to Twenty-5) Midlife Transitions: Years Nineteen to Twenty-threethree

6) On Their Own Again: Years Twenty-four to Forty6) On Their Own Again: Years Twenty-four to Forty

7) Growing Old Together: Years Forty-one and 7) Growing Old Together: Years Forty-one and Beyond!Beyond!

(See textbook page 244 for more info!)(See textbook page 244 for more info!)