Interpersonal communicationFALL 2015

Agenda

Introductions Syllabus What is Interpersonal Communication? Why do we communicate? Discussing needs and stigma Communication models Six characteristics of communication Communication 5 myths

Introduce Yourself!

Find a partner (someone you don’t already know). Introduce yourself (Name, major, where you are from…etc.) See if you can find three things in common with your partner. Be prepared to introduce your partner to the class.

Your Professor - Ms. Orzolek (Professor O)

General Education course credits completed at Luzerne County Community College

Undergraduate degree in Communication Studies, Interpersonal Communication from Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania

Graduate degree in Student Affairs and Academic Leadership from Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania

Communication Studies researcher, presented at the Eastern Communication Association Conference

Other stuff about me…

I love to travel! (England, France, Spain, Canada, Mexico, etc.) Photographer I am from Bloomsburg, PA I get very passionate about Communication Studies (and

therefore) Interpersonal Communication. I am a firm believer that education can change your life.

Let’s take a look at our syllabus!

Syllabus

Please ask any questions you have now regarding our course syllabus

If at any time you have a question please feel free to email me at: korzolek@luzerne.edu

Let’s get started…

The necessity of human communication… What would you be willing to do to win a million dollars? What if researchers wanted you to volunteer to live for 3 months

alone in a cave with no clock, no calendar, no sunlight, no conversation to mark the passage of days; wired to electrodes and asked to perform dreary mental and visual tests?

Think of the last time you were COMPLETELY alone. Picture yourself as clear as you can. What did you look like? What were you doing? What as going through your mind? Now imagine another person entering the room suddenly. Reaction? Differences?

Veronique La Guen’s Story

“When you find yourself alone, isolated in a world totally without time, face-to-face with yourself, all the masks that you hide behind—those to preserve your own illusions, those that project them before others—finally fall, sometimes brutally…Whether because of confinement, solitude, or both my mental process and manual dexterity deteriorated gravely and inexorably toward the end of my stay …I suffer psychological wound the I do not understand.”

--Michel Siffre’s diary of 6-month Midnight Cave, TX 1972

What is Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication.

Intrapersonal communication is a communicator's internal use of language or thought.

Question time…

Do intrapersonal communication and interpersonal communication overlap at all?

Yes!

You are “talking to yourself” when you are talking to someone else.

**HINT: This question may reappear elsewhere…

Communication Myth

We have been communication since we were born.

However, not all individuals are good communicators.

"Having experience in something is not the same as having expertise in it."

Chapter 1: About Communication

Did you know?Positive communication improves our lives.

We are happier.Health improves.We live longer.

Intervention Example

If you cannot communicate properly it is difficult to change lives.

The difference between a good/meaningful relationship and a bad/detrimental one? Communication!

Why do we need to communicate?

Answer: To meet certain needs. Needs:

1. Physical Needs 2. Relational Needs 3. Identity Needs 4. Spiritual Needs 5. Instrumental Needs

Need 1: Physical

"I was just surprised to know the advantages we have with communication and the great depression in which we can find ourselves if we are denied communication. If our mental and physical health can suffer without communication it is the fact that we are by nature inherently social beings."

Food for thought...

Humans are social beings. When denied human interaction we suffer. Solitary confinement example.

How long could you last? Few hours, days, weeks, months, years?

Isolation Experiment

Experiment occurred in the 13th Century. German emperor Frederick II wanted to know what language humans

would speak naturally if they weren't taught any particular language. 50 newborns were placed in the care of nurses who were instructed

to only feed and bathe the children. Nurses were not to speak around the newborns. Answer was never found because all 50 infants died.

Research shows that...

People without strong social ties are more likely to suffer from major ailments, including heart disease and high blood pressure, and to die prematurely than people who have close, satisfying relationships.

Loneliness = Sleep disturbances and stress. BONUS:

Where/what type of area do most suicides occur in the U.S.?

Answer: Rural Areas

A rural area is an open swath of land that has few homes or other buildings, and not very many people. A rural areas population density is very low.

Why don't some people interact with others?

They have been stigmatized. Definition of stigma: A characteristic that

discredits a person, making him or her be seen as abnormal or undesirable. Not attribute itself but how that attribute is viewed by

others within society.

Examples of a stigma?

What are attributes that might cause someone to be stigmatized? Being HIV positive. Having a mental illness.

They must have shared needles ...They must be violent ...

Need 2: Relational

Companionship Affection Relaxation Escape

Exercise

Generate a list of 3-4 friends/relationships (try to pick from a variety of circles)

List 3 - 4 things you value about each one of those relationships/people

What did you list?

We turn to a variety of people to need our meets. No person, not even a spouse can fulfill our every

need.

Friendships Online

Have you 'met someone online' that you consider a legitimate friend?

In what ways has the internet helped you form relationships?

If what ways, if any, has it hurt your ability to relate to others?

Need 3: Identity

"The ways we communicate with others - and the ways others communicate with us - play a large role in shaping how we see ourselves."

People form identities by comparing themselves with others

Example...

You see yourself as intelligent - You see yourself as smarter than other people

You see yourself as shy - You see others as more outgoing than you are

You see yourself as attractive - You see yourself as better looking than most people

Example continued...

If people treat you as intelligent, shy, or attractive, you may begin to believe you have those characteristics.

Good communicators can... Emphasize different aspects at different times Develop their identity over the course of their life

Example: During a job interview showing that you are organized; showing that you are fun-loving while hanging out with your friends

Need 4: Spirtuality

Spirituality involves people's beliefs about the meaning of life, which often include personal philosophies, an awe of nature, a belief in a higher purpose, and religious faith and practices.

Question: Can you be spiritual and not religious? Communication provides a means of expressing and

sharing spiritual ideas and practices

Need 5: Instrumental

Instrumental needs are practical everyday needs.

May be used to complete a short-term task (such as ordering a drink at a restaurant, scheduling a haircut appointment, or raising your hand to speak in class)

Also includes long-term goals (such as getting a job and earning a promotion)

Review...

Physical Needs: Helps us maintain physical and mental well-being

Relational Needs: Helps us form social and personal relationships Identity Needs: Helps us decide who we are and who we want to

be Spiritual Needs: Lets us share our beliefs and values with others Instrumental Needs: Helps us accomplish many day-to-day tasks

What is a model?

A model is a formal description of a process. There are three models that Communication scholars

have developed over the years ... 1. The Action Model 2. The Interaction 3. Transaction Model

Communication as an Action - Linear

Source: The originator of a thought or idea Encode: To put an idea into language or gesture Message: Verbal and nonverbal elements of communication in which people give

meaning Channel: A pathway through which messages are conveyed Decode: To interpret or give meaning to a message Receiver: The party who interprets the message Noise: Anything that interferes with the encoding or decoding of a message

What are some examples of 'noise' as found within the Action Model?

Communication as Interaction

Has all the same elements as the Action Model but recognizes the communication is a two way process.

Also, it adds the two elements of feedback and context. Thank physics! Every action has a reaction!

What is feedback?

Feedback is various verbal and nonverbal responses to your message (an example might be nodding).

Can you think of anymore examples?

What is context?

Context is synonymous with environment. (Includes both the physical and the physiological) Examples of physical...

Where you are physically interacting with one another Examples of physiological...

How formal is the setting? How much privacy do you have? How emotionally charged is the situation?

Transactional Model of Communication

Doesn't distinguish between roles of source and receiver

States that both people are simultaneously sources and receivers

Transactional Model - The Complex Model

Doesn't just account for physical and psychological environment but account for... Gender Culture Experience Social class History of relationship

Six Characteristics of Communication

1. Communication relies on multiple channels2. Communication passes through perceptual filters3. People give communication meaning 4. Communication has literal meanings and relational implications5. Communication sends a message whether intentional or

unintentional6. Communication is governed by rules

Multiple Channels

What are different ways people communicate with one another?

Channel-rich contexts vs. Channel-lean contexts Channel-rich contexts involve many different communication

channels at once Channel-lean contexts have a smaller amount of channels

Would text messaging be considered a channel-rich or a channel-lean context?

In a nutshell...

Channel-rich context: A communication context involving many channels at once.

Channel-lean context: A communication context involving few channels at once.

Think about quality of interaction.

Communication Passes Through Perceptual Filters

What one person says isn't always what the other person hears. We all "filter" incoming communication through our perceptions,

experiences, biases, beliefs, etc. Episode of Friends example, "We were on a break!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsvsRZhNVp4

Perception - Rose Colored Glasses

People Give Communication it's Meaning

We chose are words deliberately. By itself a word has no meaning...it is just sound. People assign meaning. A world is a symbol, or a representation of an idea, but the word itself isn't the

idea or the meaning. Language is arbitrary … meaning words can mean whatever groups of people

want them to mean. Mouse 40 years ago vs. Mouse now Bus & Baby example Military base example

Exercise

What do you think of when you hear the word 'flat'? What do you think of when you hear the word 'cell'?

Communication has Literal Meanings and Relational Implications

Content dimension vs. Relational dimension Content dimension: Literal information that is communicated by a

message Relational dimension: Signals about the relationship in which a message

is being communicated "We are out of laundry detergent." <--- Content or relational? "I am feeling down today." <--- Content or relational?

"I am feeling down today."

You may also be sending the message... "I feel comfortable enough with you to share my

feelings." "I want you to help me feel better."

What is metacommunication?

Metacommunication is communication about communication. Example...explaining your feelings to someone.

500 Days of Summer example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUVgAwLr1GQ

Communication Sends Messages Whether Intentional or Intentional

Scheduling a meeting vs. Falling asleep in a meeting Some Communication scholars argue, "You cannot

not communicate." Do you agree or disagree?

Communication is Governed by Rules

Rules tell us what behaviors are required, preferred, or prohibited in various social contexts.

Explicit rules: Someone has clearly articulated them. Example: Professor saying that you cannot talk to other

classmates during lecture. Implicit rules: Rules that almost everyone in a certain social

group knows and follows, even though no one has formally articulated and expressed them.

Example: Waiting room at the dentist. (Where do you sit?) Additional example: Bathroom stalls/urinals

Communication 5 Myths

1. Everyone is an expert in communication 2. Communication will solve every problem 3. Communication can break down 4. Communication is inherently good 5. More communication is always better

Myth 1: Everyone is an Expert in Communication

Having experience with something is not expertise in it.

Many people drive but that does not make them a professional driver.

Many people are parents but that does not making them an expert in parenting.

Myth 2: Communication Will Solve Any Problem

Poor communication isn't the cause for every problem. Tom says, "I think we can fix our relationship if we

improve our communication." Summer says, "My feelings have changed. I have

moved on." In this scenario it is highly unlikely communication will

keep this couple together, however it may cause Tom to realize their relationship is already over.

Myth 3: Communication Can Break Down

Communication isn't mechanical. It doesn't 'break down'. It is possible that two individuals no longer communicate

effectively. In a nutshell...the problem does not lie in the communication

itself but how it is used.

Myth 4: Communication is Inherently Good

"Sure we talk all the time, but we don't really communicate anymore."

Essentially talking = producing words Essentially communicating = creating shared meaning Communication, just like money, can be used in a variety of ways.

Communication can be used to deceive people or intimidate them.

Myth 5: More Communication is Always Better

In some cases increasing communication can just lead to more frustrating and anger.

Effectiveness is better than amount. This is why learning to be a competent communicator

is so important. Study 2007: The more doctors talked the more likely

they were to get off track and forget their patients' problems.

Definition of Mass Communication & Small Group Communication

Mass communication: Communication from one source to a large audience.

Last Week Tonight - John Oliver example Small group communication: Communication occurring within small

groups of three or more people who wish to accomplish a goal. Note: Most research on interpersonal communication focuses on

interaction within a dyad (a pair of people = two people)

Interpersonal Communication Evolves Within Relationships

Social Penetration Theory “The idea that relationships

become more intimate over time when partners disclose more and more information about themselves.”

Stages

Fun Fact!

Married people are in better health than unmarried people but researchers don't agree why.

Some think that married people are healthier because they have more resources at their disposal.

Other say married people are less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

Communication Competence

Communicating in ways that are effective and appropriate for a given situation. What we will be learning in this class!

Communicating Effectively & Appropriately

Effectiveness: Describes how well your communication achieves its goals.

Appropriately: Attending to the rules and expectations that apply in a social situation.

Characteristics of Competent Communicators

Self-awareness (self-monitoring) Awareness of one's behavior and how it affects others Do you know anyone who talks really loudly but doesn't know it? Do you pay attention to what you wear, how you sound, and act?

More Characteristics

Adaptability Empathy: The ability to think and feel as others do. **Not to be confused with sympathy which is simply feeling sorry for

another person. An empathic person can see multiple perspectives within a situation.

Let's Discuss

Research shows that in most circumstances women are more accurate than men at empathizing.

Is empathizing a learned trait? If so, how and why did women learn to be more

empathetic? Is this related to social/cultural norms?

Cognitive Complexity - What is it?

Cognitive complexity: The ability to consider a variety of explanations and to understand a given situation in multiple ways.

It keeps you from jumping to the wrong conclusion and responding inappropriately. Fiance ring example

Ethics

Finally, competent communicators are ethical communicators.

Ethics: A code of morality or a set of ideas about what is right.

What might be morally justified in one culture may not be in another.

Review: Five Characteristics of Competent Communicators

1. Self-Awareness: Awareness of how your behavior is affecting others

2. Adaptability: Ability to modify your behaviors as the situation demands

3. Empathy: Skill at identifying and feeling what others around you are feeling

4. Cognitive Complexity: Ability to understand a situation in multiple ways

5. Ethics: Guidelines in judging whether something is morally right or morally wrong

Reminder!

Begin working on Reflection Paper #1. Do not forget to complete Quiz #1 and

turn in it next class. No class Labor Day.