1.Presented by Ray Williams To The Vancouver Board of Trade Leaders of Tomorrow December 3, 2011Copyright, Ray Williams1

2. Copies of this presentation in PDF form will be available from:Articles and resources available from my website: http://raywilliams.ca Follow me on Twitter: @raybwilliams My books available on Amazon: http://amzn.to/rs7UXs and http://amzn.to/sDdlHQ Follow me on Financial Post: http://natpo.st/so1U32 Follow me on Psychology Today: http://bit.ly/cVqKRQCopyright. For personal use only. May not be copied for distribution. Copyright, Ray Williams2 3. Housekeeping &IntroductionsCopyright, Ray Williams3 4. The Days Agenda Outcomes and structure Commitments Note taking and materials Refreshments and lunch Contact information Email: ray@raywilliamsassociates.comCopyright, Ray Williams4 5. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeIntroductionsCopyright, Ray Williams5 6. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeChange Your Mind, Change Your LifeWhat Does That Mean?Copyright, Ray Williams6 7. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Keys to a Successful and Happy Life?Copyright, Ray Williams7 8. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 1: Self -AwarenessCopyright, Ray Williams8 9. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 2: Self-Management of Your Thinking and EmotionsCopyright, Ray Williams9 10. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 3: Self-Actualization Mastering Successful BehaviorsCopyright, Ray Williams10 11. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 4: Mastering Your Relationships With OthersCopyright, Ray Williams11 12. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeWhat Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 5: Being committed to something bigger than yourselfmaking the world better Copyright, Ray Williams12 13. Change Your Mind Change Your LifeMastering Self Awareness: Being On Purpose Know whats important to you What are your most important values?Copyright, Ray Williams13 14. Values Your values are those things to which you have a strong emotional commitment and that which you value above other things.Copyright, Ray Williams14 15. 1.2. 3. 4. 5.Values: Are a compass to help us navigate through life Can reflect moral and ethical principles or not Helps you in making crucial decisions Can assist you in aligning your beliefs with your behavior Can strengthen the body-heart-mindspirit connectionCopyright, Ray Williams15 16. Value DistinctionsCopyright, Ray Williams16 17. Copyright, Ray Williams# 18. Copyright, Ray Williams# 19. Copyright, Ray Williams# 20. Values Preference IndicatorCopyright, Ray Williams20 21. Values Preference Indicator Step 1: Rank the values from 1, most important to 21 , least important, to you in the present timeCopyright, Ray Williams21 22. Values Preference Indicator Step 2: On page 4 score each value against the others in each square, with 1 being most important and 5 being the least importantCopyright, Ray Williams22 23. Values Preference Indicator Step 3: Transfer scores from page 4 to page 5 for each value and total score each square.Copyright, Ray Williams23 24. Values Preference Indicator Step 4: On page 7 write down write down the top 10 values from the lowest score to the highest (lowest is 5, highest is 25) from page 5Copyright, Ray Williams24 25. Values Preference Indicator InstructionsStep 5: On page 7, make your final list of values in column 3, based on your review of columns 1 and 2 STOP and await further instructionsCopyright, Ray Williams25 26. What is YourPersonal Style?Copyright, Ray Williams26 27. Working with Different People What are the characteristics of those individuals youfind easiest to work with? Why? What are the characteristics of those individuals youfind the most difficult to work with? Why?Copyright, Ray Williams27 28. Personality Development Factors Bio Physical Influences Self Worth LevelsPersonal Style PreferencesEmotional AnchorsEnvironmental Systems Social Teachers Copyright, Ray Williams28 29. Your Personal Style is your Natural Predisposition Towards: Time, People, Tasks and Situations.Copyright, Ray Williams29 30. Personal Style is the part of your personality that does not change throughout life.Copyright, Ray Williams30 31. Personal Style: Main Concepts Everyone has all 4 personal style dimensions tovarying degrees Each style has strengths and limitations Our strongest preferences and needs are often our biggest blocks to developing ourselves Personal Style is only one part of your PersonalityCopyright, Ray Williams31 32. Personal Style is not related to: IQ Morality Ability Health Appearance Culture Gender FamilyCopyright, Ray Williams32 33. Copyright, Ray Williams33 34. Personal Style Indicator Not a test No right or wrong answers No better or worse results just different There is a right way to complete the assessment Follow the instructionsCopyright, Ray Williams34 35. Personal Style Indicator Score 4 as most like you and 1 the least like you and 2 and 3 appropriately in between.Copyright, Ray Williams35 36. Transfer scores to pages 6 and 7GraphB C I ABehavioural Action Cognitive AnalysisInterpersonal Harmony Affective Expression2030Copyright, Ray Williams405060 36 37. Style Flexibility 1 Dimension Over 40 =2 Dimensions Over 40 = 3 Dimensions Over 40 = 4 Dimensions Even Copyright, Ray Williams= 37 38. B Behavioral - Tendencies Facial expressions hard to read Does not show emotions easily or often Impatient with loss of time, delays Energy experience: forceful, powerful, aloof Very active physically, doing many things Makes decisions quickly, no hesitation Works hard, long hours - expects the same Silent type, doesnt talk much - expects the same Copyright, Ray Williams38 39. B Behavioural / Action Typical Strengths:Common Difficulties: Acts rapidly to get results Driven to achieve personal goals High endurance under stress Confident in positions of authorityCopyright, Ray Williams Can be too forceful or impatient Can often think their way is best/only way Can be insensitive to needs of others Can often under-communicate with others39 40. Behavioral Action High Need For: Challenge Independence Power Responsibility Copyright, Ray Williams40 41. Behavioural Action Respond Best To: Summarized facts Direct, honest confrontation Support for their goals People who are efficient andeffective in getting results Copyright, Ray Williams41 42. C Cognitive - Tendencies Facial expressions - very obvious, frowning Shows anger quickly, tends to hold grudges Values being on time - expects the same Energy experience - nervous, talks fast Verbal challengers, critical, opinionated Mentally active, very perceptive, thinkers Works 9-5 and leaves for home Loyal employees, good systems buildersCopyright, Ray Williams42 43. C Cognitive / Analysis Typical Strengths: Acts cautiously to avoid errors Masterful at focusing on details Works to ensure quality control Critical observers with insightful perceptionsCopyright, Ray WilliamsCommon Difficulties: Can get bogged down in details Can be too critical or negative Can be too controlling Can be unrealistic in expectations of self/others43 44. Cognitive Analysis High Need For: Intimacy Organization Respect Safety Copyright, Ray Williams44 45. Cognitive Analysis Respond Best To: Detailed information Respect for their opinion Systematic and provenapproaches Tasks done well and completely Copyright, Ray Williams45 46. I Interpersonal - Tendencies Facial expressions - small smiles, attentive Quiet, does not talk often or for long, shy Very patient with others, forgiving Energy experience: gentle, kind, calm, placid Consistent workers, steady not fast Gets very stressed in conflict situations Doesnt talk much but loves to listen to others Makes decisions slowly, needs time Copyright, Ray Williams46 47. I Interpersonal / Harmony Typical Strengths:Common Difficulties: Promotes harmony and balance Reliable and consistent workers Flexible to others needs Compassionate care-giversCopyright, Ray WilliamsCan be too easy-going and trusting Can be taken advantage of Tend to take care of others rather than self Can become stubborn if unappreciated47 48. Interpersonal Harmony High Need For: Appreciation Harmony Loving Others Security Copyright, Ray Williams48 49. Interpersonal Harmony Respond Best To: Appreciation for their efforts Non-threatening approaches Thoughtfulness for others Honesty and trust Copyright, Ray Williams49 50. A Affective - Tendencies Facial expressions - big smiles, laughing Very verbal, talks to everyone, often loud Has trouble keeping time commitments Energy experience: creative, funny, upbeat Lots of ideas for changing, improving Over promises and under delivers Has trouble focusing on one thing for long Learns experientially, not auditory (ear) Copyright, Ray Williams50 51. Affective Expression High Need For: Attention Acceptance Pleasure, play Recognition Copyright, Ray Williams51 52. Affective Expression Respond Best To: Admiration for theirachievements Unstructured environments Affection and communication Opportunities to creativelyinfluence Copyright, Ray Williams52 53. A Affective / Expressive A Affective / Expression Typical Strengths: Accepting of others Intuitive problem solvers Creatively influences people Excel at networking with othersCopyright, Ray WilliamsCommon Difficulties: Can easily lose track of time Can be unreliable in keeping promises Can have a low commitment to detail Can have a high need to be the centre of attention53 54. Read you style type descriptions on pages 7, 9, 11, and 18Copyright, Ray Williams54 55. Personal Style Exercise Discuss, as a group, your greatest Personalstyle strengths. Discuss, as a group, your greatest Personal style challenges. What do you need to do to improve your Personal and Business Effectiveness?Copyright, Ray Williams55 56. Either you control Your Personal Style or Your Personal Style will control you!Copyright, Ray Williams56 57. BreakCopyright, Ray Williams57 58. Is There A Major Formula To Success?Harry PotterCopyright, Ray Williams58 59. What is your definition of success?Copyright, Ray Williams59 60. Copyright, Ray Williams# 61. Copyright, Ray Williams# 62. Success: My Definition Success is being, doing, and having what makes you happy and fulfilled without doing harm to yourself or others. It is the process of aligning meaning, emotion, spirituality, thought and action that is at the heart of success Copyright, Ray Williams62 63. The Success IQ Program: Traits and Habits of Super Successful PeopleCopyright, Ray Williams63 64. What Do Successful People Do Differently? A Partial List1. They are clear about what is important to them (values)Copyright, Ray Williams64 65. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 2. They know how to amplify their personal power by: Focusing on their strengths not weaknesses Managing energy not time Use both intentions and goals effectivelyCopyright, Ray Williams65 66. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 3. Take 100% responsibility for their life: Banish bad habits Dont act like victims Are resilientCopyright, Ray Williams66 67. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 4. : Have strong passionate beliefs: Inspire themselves Have a compelling vision Dont follow the crowd Are action orientedCopyright, Ray Williams67 68. Success and HappinessCopyright, Ray Williams68 69. What is Happiness?Write down your definition of happiness Recall the happiest time youve ever had in lifeCopyright, Ray Williams69 70. Happiness Quiz Which of the following would significantly increase your level of happiness? 1. An intimate relationship 2. A better job 3. A better house 4. A more attractive spouse 5. A baby 6. Looking Younger 7. Being better looking 8. Losing weight Copyright, Ray Williams9. Your child excelling at school 10. Cure from chronic illness or disability 11. More money 12 More time to do the things you want to do70 71. What Determines Happiness?Choices =40%Genetics =50%Environment =10%Copyright, Ray Williams71 72. Characteristics of Happy People 1. 2. 3. 4.They nurture relationships They express gratitude frequently They are altruistic The practice optimistic thinkingCopyright, Ray Williams72 73. Characteristics of Happy People (2) 5. They savor lifes pleasures and live in the present 6. They are clear about their values/purpose in life 7. They are resilientCopyright, Ray Williams73 74. ResilienceResilience and the ability to overcome adversity and obstacles has been positively correlated with greater happiness and success.Copyright, Ray Williams74 75. Overcoming Adversity:EsrefArmaganCopyright, Ray Williams75 76. EsrefArmagans ArtCopyright, Ray Williams76 77. Overcoming Adversity: The CoalminerCopyright, Ray Williams77 78. Overcoming Adversity: The Renaissance ManCopyright, Ray Williams78 79. Stanley Camp, Hong KongCopyright, Ray Williams79 80. Life As A POWCopyright, Ray Williams80 81. Copyright, Ray Williams# 82. Success and Failure What is the relationship?Copyright, Ray Williams82 83. Copyright, Ray Williams# 84. Copyright, Ray Williams# 85. What can failure teach you? DiscussCopyright, Ray Williams85 86. What can failure teach you? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.You always have choices Humility How to survive How to learn Accepting the laws of impermanence and entropy 6. Reframing your thinking of failure as experience and just is.Copyright, Ray Williams86 87. Success, Failure and Motivation How do they relate to each other?Copyright, Ray Williams87 88. What does research tell us about motivation?1. Extrinsic rewards (the carrot) or punishment (the stick) reduces intrinsic motivation, doesnt lead to lasting behavior, and negatively affects performance (Kohn)Copyright, Ray Williams88 89. What does research tell us about motivation?2. True motivation boils down to three elements: autonomy (desire to direct our own lives) mastery (desire to continually improve at something that matters) purpose (the desire to do something larger than ourselves)Copyright, Ray Williams89 90. What does research tell us about motivation?3. While another person can inspire or influence you, they cannot motivate you. Only you can motivate you.Copyright, Ray Williams90 91. Lunch BreakCopyright, Ray Williams91 92. Influence and PersuasionCopyright, Ray Williams92 93. The elements of influence and persuasion 1. Non-verbal communication and body language 2. Rapport 3. Verbal and written languageCopyright, Ray Williams93 94. How are these people demonstrating influence and persuasion?Copyright, Ray Williams94 95. Body PositionCopyright, Ray Williams95 96. Facial ExpressionsCopyright, Ray Williams96 97. GreetingsCopyright, Ray Williams97 98. Copyright, Ray Williams# 99. Copyright, Ray Williams# 100. PostureCopyright, Ray Williams100 101. Influence and Persuasion: Research-1 1. Body movements are controlled by unconscious mind, so non-verbal messages are not conscious 2. There is no direct correlation between personality and behaviors of unconscious and those of conscious mind unless you have been trained to be mindful and intentional Copyright, Ray Williams101 102. Influence and Persuasion: Research-23. The conscious mind is more influenced by words and the unconscious by non-verbal 4. Non-verbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, movement, touch, distan ce, eye contact, voice characteristics. Verbal is spoken and written words 5. Women are more sensitive to body language than men Copyright, Ray Williams102 103. Influence and Persuasion: Research-36. Your eyes are your most powerful nonverbal tool Dilated pupils seen as more attractive than contracted Increased blinking rate shows either anxiety/deception or lack of attention 7. Your face is the best communicator of emotions: >40 facial muscles for frown only 14 for smile Copyright, Ray Williams103 104. Influence and Persuasion: Research-4 8. Smiling is one of the most powerful influence techniques. Fake smiles use only the mouth, real smiles use the eyes. Smiling is contagious and signals friendship and warmth, non-threat 8. Arm and hand gestures: Large and slow arm movements are more influential ; palms up hands are less threateningCopyright, Ray Williams104 105. Influence and Persuasion: Research-4 10. Posture: erect postures are positively correlated with confidence, but differences according to visual, auditory, kinesthetic 11. Voice: includes tone, pitch, volume, tempo, emotion, clarity, vocabulary 12. Space: intimate: body to 18 inches; personal18 inches to 4 feet; social-12 feet and beyondCopyright, Ray Williams105 106. Influence and Persuasion: Research-5 13. Handshakes: The worst: wet fish, vise or bone-crunch, finger tip, pump handle. The bestbe on right side, eye contact pump only twice, hand on top for dominance14. Rules for reading body language: Read gestures in clusters Look for congruence between words and body language Read gestures in contextCopyright, Ray Williams106 107. Influence and Persuasion: Magic Words Because Now Imagine Please and thank you Any word that persuades the other person they are in control Dangerous Copyright, Ray Williams107 108. Copyright, Ray Williams# 109. Copyright, Ray Williams# 110. Establishing Rapport 1. 2. 3. 4.Mirroring and matching body language Matching voice pitch, tone and pace Active listening Focus over thereCopyright, Ray Williams110 111. Establishing Rapport 1. 2. 3. 4.Mirroring and matching body language Matching voice pitch, tone and pace Active listening Focus over thereCopyright, Ray Williams111 112. Establishing RapportPracticeCopyright, Ray Williams112 113. How to make a powerful first impressionCopyright, Ray Williams113 114. How to make a powerful first impression1. Open your attitude (positive mind space) 2. Open your body language 3. Make eye contact real 4. Make real smile with eyes and mouth 5. Say hi or hello with pleasant tone and introduce yourself Copyright, Ray Williams114 115. How to make a powerful first impression6. Point your heart at the other person 7. Extend handshake first 8. Lean forward 9. Make open body gestures slow and deliberate 10.Stop talking, listen and watch other persons body language Copyright, Ray Williams115 116. Brain Research Implications For Being Successful in Todays WorldCopyright, Ray Williams116 117. 100 billion neurons, 100 trillion connectionsCopyright, Ray Williams117 118. The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment. Neuroplasticity allows the brain to learn new things throughout life up until death.Copyright, Ray Williams118 119. Your brain is NOT like a computerCopyright, Ray Williams119 120. Our brains are basically protective, and defensiveCopyright, Ray Williams120 121. Emotions are powerful brain activities that drive our decisions and behaviorCopyright, Ray Williams121 122. Why Making Change is So DifficultCopyright, Ray Williams122 123. Copyright, Ray Williams# 124. ReviewCopyright, Ray Williams124 125. BreakCopyright, Ray Williams125 126. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy LifeCopyright, Ray Williams126 127. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life1. Take responsibility for every thing that happens in your life: be at cause and not in effect. Dont act like a victim or use victim language.Copyright, Ray Williams127 128. The language of responsibility Indicate R (Responsible) or V (Victim) 1. Im depressed because I got laid off/fired. 2. My relationship with my partner ended because he/she didnt respect me 3. I was late because I lost track of time and had too many things to do 4. I did poorly on the exam because the professor is a bad teacher 5. I didnt get the job because the employer wanted someone with more experience 6. Im not good at ________ because I wasnt born with those abilities Copyright, Ray Williams128 129. Copyright, Ray Williams# 130. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life2. The map is not the territoryeveryone has a different perception of reality We really dont know what reality is, we only know our own realityCopyright, Ray Williams130 131. Copyright, Ray Williams# 132. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life3. Perception is projection--the behavior of people that we react strongly (negatively and positively) are usually a projection of something inside ourselvesCopyright, Ray Williams132 133. Copyright, Ray Williams# 134. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life4. Emotions are the key driver to choices and decisions in life, not logic and factsCopyright, Ray Williams134 135. Copyright, Ray Williams# 136. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life5. More analysis of past problems without access to intuition does not lead to better decisions Focusing on desired outcomes and behaviors is more effective than ruminating over past mistakes or problems Copyright, Ray Williams136 137. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life6. The unconscious mind is a more powerful force than the conscious mind unless you know how to access and control bothCopyright, Ray Williams137 138. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life7. The meaning of communication is what you get backCopyright, Ray Williams138 139. Copyright, Ray Williams# 140. Review and InsightsCopyright, Ray Williams140 141. Mastering your life requires a greater degree of mindfulnessCopyright, Ray Williams141 142. Are You Mindful? 1. I break or spill things, or bump into things 2. I run on automatic without being aware of what Im doing 3. I rush through things 4. I get so focused on what I need to do next, I lose touch with what Im doing now 5. I listen to someone with one ear, doing something else at the same timeCopyright, Ray Williams142 143. Are You Mindful? 6. I often think about the past or future7. I eat without being conscious of what Im eating 8. I often get lost in my thoughts or feelings 9. My mind wanders off and Im easily distracted10. I drive my car on automatic pilot without paying attention to where I am 11. I daydream or think of others things when doingmy chores or routine life activitiesCopyright, Ray Williams143 144. Definitions of Mindfulness? Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally Bringing ones complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis with a quality of compassion, acceptance and loving kindness Being aware of your internal thinking, emotional and spiritual state while you are involved in external eventsCopyright, Ray Williams144 145. Two Kinds of Interrelated Mindfulness 1. Formal mindfulness through meditation 2. Informal everyday mindfulness during all activitiesCopyright, Ray Williams145 146. Key Elements of Mindfulness 1. Paying attentionfocusing 100% of your attention on what you are doing in that moment 2. Being in the present momentbeing aware of how things are in present time, not in the past or thinking about the future 3. Being non-reactivenot reacting without considered reflection to events or people, but rather choosing how to respondCopyright, Ray Williams146 147. Key Elements of Mindfulness 4. Beginners mind--observing the world, events and people as if it were the first time you have done so. This creates openness and curiosity 5. Acceptancecompletely accepting the thoughts, feelings, sensations and beliefs that you have and understanding that they are those things only, they are not necessarily you (acceptance does not mean approval)Copyright, Ray Williams147 148. Key Elements of Mindfulness 6. Non-attachmentavoiding attaching meaning to your thoughts and feelings, or connecting a specific thought to a feeling. Instead, let a thought or feeling come in and pass without connecting it anything, observing them as they are. Non attachment also means not being attached to your expectations which can result in unhappiness and sufferingCopyright, Ray Williams148 149. Key Elements of Mindfulness 7. Non-strivingthe state of not doing anything, but simply accepting that things are happening in the moment as they are regardless of what you do. It just is what it is. 8. Trusthaving trust in your abilities, your intuition, your capacity to survive anything 9. Patiencecultivating the belief that all things develop in their own time, and nothing lasts forever (principle of impermanence) Copyright, Ray Williams149 150. Key Elements of Mindfulness 10. Open-heartedness and compassionbringing a quality of kindness, compassion, to our experiences, and not slipping into judgment and criticismCopyright, Ray Williams150 151. Copyright, Ray Williams# 152. The Science MeditationCopyright, Ray Williams152 153. The Power of MeditationSince 2002: Increased cognitive function, stress reduction, creative thinking, increased compassion Copyright, Ray Williams153 154. Copyright, Ray Williams# 155. Copyright, Ray Williams# 156. Copyright, Ray Williams# 157. Copyright, Ray Williams157 158. Copyright, Ray Williams158 159. Dragon Tamer Amazon Books: http://ow.ly/7zSSZCopyright, Ray Williams159