Capital Forum on Spiritual Formation & Discipleship of Children

What are the goals of spiritual formation and discipleship of children and how have churches responded?

Josh KellarChildren’s Ministry

Session 1

Capital Forum 2012

What exactly does “spiritual formation and discipleship of children” mean?

What does this look like? What is the goal?

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Process “That church loves kids,” “They’ve got a great children’s

program,” “This children’s wing reminds me of

Disneyland.”

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Process The process of children’s discipleship

was once FULLY in the hands of the parents and it took a major shift in the early 1800’s. In the last 200 years the process of spiritual formation of children has been left to churches.

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What approaches have churches taken to spiritually form children? Churches choose curriculum for Bible

classes Decorate hallways, Insert Bible crossword puzzles in the

church bulletins Use crazy motions to Bible songs.

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A more important question might be, “How do we know we’ve done a good job?”

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Outcomes An outcome is the result of an effort to

accomplish a goal. In this case spiritual formation and discipleship.

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How we know that children are being spiritually formed? Baptized Can recite memory verses. Bible class attendance. Sunday AM, PM

and Wednesday? Can tell you what happens in Bible stories. Participation in church activities. (VBS,

Church camp, Fall Festival) How well they do in competition events.

(LTC, Lads to Leaders, Bible Bowls, etc.)

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Do any of these processes or outcomes adequately help us gauge whether we are doing a good job with children’s spiritual formation?

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80% of people that choose to follow Jesus make that decision before the age of 14. (Barna, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)

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An estimated 4% of the “bridger” generation, or Gen Y, will be Bible-believing Christians when they reach adulthood. Their grandparents’ generation: 65%. Their parents’ generation: 35%. (Bridger Generation by Thom S. Rainer)

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How important is this? Our goal should be to help kids believe

that following Jesus is the best way to live. To make things that are important to Jesus important to them. If things are important to Jesus, they should be important to us.

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Matthew 21:15-16 (Psalms 8:2)But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant. “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “‘From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?”

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Matthew 18:2-6He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

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Mark 10:13-16If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Urban Holmes “Circle of Sensibility” from A History of Spirituality

Speculative

Affective

KataphaticApophatic

Rationalism

Pietism

Encratism

Quietism

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Apophatic vs. Kataphatic Emptying technique (Apophatic) of

meditation compared to an imaginal technique (Kataphatic) of mediation.

Speculative

Affective

KataphaticApophatic

Rationalism

Pietism

Encratism

Quietism

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Speculative vs. Affective Do the methods of spiritual formation

emphasize illumination of the mind (Speculative) or the heart (Affective)

Speculative

Affective

KataphaticApophatic

Rationalism

Pietism

Encratism

Quietism

Kolb’s Learning StyleFrom Learning: Experience as the Source of

Learning and DevelopmentConcrete

Experience(Feeling)

Abstract Conceptualization

(Thinking)

Reflective Observation(Watching)

Active Experimentati

on(Doing)

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Concrete Experience (feeling) vs. Abstract Conceptualization (thinking) The way students

perceive new information.

Concrete Experience(Feeling)

Abstract Conceptualizati

on(Thinking)

Reflective Observatio

n(Watching)


on(Doing)

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Active Experimentation (doing) vs. Reflective Observation (watching) The way

students process new information.


Abstract Conceptualizati

on(Thinking)


n(Watching)


on(Doing)

Michael Anthony’s Four Views on Children’s Spiritual Formation.

Holmes Kolb

Speculative

Affective

KataphaticApophatic

Rationalism

Pietism

Encratism

Quietism


Abstract Conceptualizatio

n(Thinking)


n(Watching)


on(Doing)

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Four Views on Children’s Spiritual Formation.

Contemplative – Reflective Models

Instructional-AnalyticModels

Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels

Pragmatic-Participatory

Models

Active Engagement(Doing)


Active Expression(Feeling)

Cognitive Reasoning(Thinking)

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Contemplative-Reflective Models

Periods of quiet reflection Introspective prayer Storytelling “To empty the mind of self-absorbed thoughts

and come before God as a clean vessel… To find a place of solitude for quiet meditation.”

Prayer is the outcome.



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels

Pragmatic-Participator

yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Godly Play Meditate on Scripture Contemplative Prayer, Centering Prayer Reflect on a quiet song in background Gaze at artistic expression of spirituality.

Contemplative-Reflective Models



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Instructional-Analytic Models

High regard for cognitive thought processing Spiritual formation is nurtured through a

systematic study of God’s Word. Look for authoritative answers. Always bring their Bibles to church and an

extra for a friend. Elaborate reward system and hierarchical

design structures.



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Instructional-Analytic Models

Bible memorization Sword Drills AWANA (Approved Workman Are Not

Ashamed) Bible Study Guide for All Ages



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Pragmatic-Participatory Models

Choreographed singing Dramatic presentations of Bible Stories Numerous activities during teaching hour. Mild integration of instructional technology “Learning in a context of activity and fun”



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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“Every Sunday should be like VBS” Kids rarely enjoy sitting still for long and

want to get involved. Look for practical application to Bible stories

and enjoy opportunities to get their feet wet. Want to know how the Bible has relevance

for today.




Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Crafts Rotation Model Learning Singing, Skits, Bible Story, Puppets, Games, CD,

PowerPoint, Video. Small Groups provide personal contact and

relationships Promiseland (Willow Creek), Rethink (Northpoint,

Alpharetta GA), Group’s Hands-On Bible




Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Media-Driven, Active-Engagement Models

High-energy, instructional technology Children always in motion Creative expression, guided imagery,

music, drama Love the process of learning as much as

the end result.



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Joy of discovery may be more enjoyable than achieving the objective of the lesson.

Changing the Bible story to create a “modern-day parable.”

View authority with suspicion, yet are optimistic about life.

No program component should last for more than 10 minutes.




Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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KIDMO – DVD based curriculum coupled with small groups.

NEST Family Entertainment Veggie Tales




Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Despite all the efforts churches make to spiritually form children, they often overlook the most effective and time-tested method of developing faith in kids…

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Q & A (if there’s time!)

Handing it back: The home as the most authentic spiritual community.


Session 2

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Deuteronomy 6:4-9Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

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60-90% of Christian children currently enrolled in church programs are going to walk away from faith when they are adults..

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What has faith at home typically looked like?

Any intentional spiritual formation in the home is a step in the right direction.

Praying around the dinner table, bed-time, etc. Framed scripture. “What did you learn in Bible class? What do you

mean you don’t know?” “Time to go to church, don’t forget your Bible….

Oh, I think it’s still in the car from last Sunday.” “God says, honor your father and mother…. He

also says, spare the rod spoil the child.”

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Spiritual thermostat is set by parents. Children CANNOT be formed spiritually

in their own home if the parents are not setting the spiritual thermostat on high.

When it comes to spiritual development, our kids follow in our footsteps

Families are often at different places spiritually.

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Psalm 78

My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old— things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.

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Psalm 78

He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.

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Spiritual thermostat is set by parents. Children CANNOT be formed spiritually

in their own home if the parents are not setting the spiritual thermostat on high.

When it comes to spiritual development, our kids follow in our footsteps

Families are often at different places spiritually.

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In order for the discipleship process to happen in the family, the goal has to be cruciformity. When discipleship methods become the goal, we become pharisaical and legalistic.

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Any cruciform parent’s life would seem remiss to be without.

PRAY Eat the Word. Share with kids how God is working in

your own life. Parents should give up the pressure of

being the perfect parent.

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“When we ask for forgiveness, we model taking responsibility for choices and give kids first-hand experience of what grace looks like.”

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Any cruciform parent’s life would seem remiss to be without.

Parents should share age-appropriate stories from childhood of when they learned important lessons.

Get the right packing list. Parents cannot impart what they do not

have.

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“Not only should our parenting goals be determined by God’s word, but also our methods. Manipulation and bribery do not work.”

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So if the role of the home is so important in the spiritual development and discipleship of children, how can the church and home work together?

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What does a healthy relationship between the church and home look like?


Session 3

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“If parents are coming to church, they should be able to spiritually instruct their kids.”

Agree or Disagree?

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We cannot assume ANYTHING about the spiritual climate of the home based on a family’s church practices.

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Faith development of children is often incongruent with their church life because:

Their parents don’t bring them to church. (Neighbor or friend does).

Parents feel it is the church’s job. Parents want to be primary spiritual

director but don’t know how. Church has not been intentional about

equipping parents with resources/partnering with them.

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Churches that plan for a relationship with the home.

Churches that partner for a relationship with the home.

Churches that prepare for a relationship with the home.

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Church strategies that plan for a relationship with the home. This is passive. It assumes that parents are NOT

going to be involved but the church still has a role in the spiritual formation and wants to be ready.

Planning for the relationship sets the church up to succeed when the parents are ready to take a bite.

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Church strategies that plan for a relationship with the home. It’s like the church is staging itself for

interest so that if a parent asks “What can I do?” the church is ready. Material is on-hand to distribute as people show interest.

It assumes that what happens at home is more important than what happens at church but also assumes that not everyone agrees with that statement.

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This is done through curriculum and special programming. D6 – Randall House First Look & 252 Basics - Rethink Trū – David C. Cook

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Keep in mind when choosing good curriculum: Be intentional. Different learning styles/ways of

experiencing God. Marlene LeFever, Learning Styles Urban Holmes, History of Christian

Spirituality, (Circle of Sensibilities) Workshop Rotation Model

www.rotation.org Memorial Road Church of Christ – Tulsa OK Other Rotation Model Curriculum

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Keep in mind when choosing good curriculum: ADAPT! – Take what you are currently

using and create ways to make it easy for parents to get involved. May mean rewriting certain material. Withholding certain parts from classroom

learning for parents to do. Adding in additional original or borrowed

material.

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Church strategies that partner for a relationship with the home.

This is active. It assumes that whether parents are

interested in the spiritual formation of their children or not the church will communicate how parents can participate at home in the strategy of the children’s ministry.

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Church strategies that partner for a relationship with the home.

The hope is that parents that are not intentional about faith formation will have some pegs on which to hang spiritual conversations.

If parents are interested, they will know exactly how & where to get info about what they can do at home.

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Partnering type communication: Web – A MUST HAVE place for parents to

get information. Needs to be easy to read/follow. Dates,

Key Verses, Weekly Takeaways. Update as much information at a time as

possible. This will reduce the risk of having outdated material on the web.

Password protect ALL licensed material (i.e. publisher provided documents).

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Partnering type communication: Weekly email updates

Mailchimp.com. Constant Contact, other subscription service.

Make it look good and easy to read. People hate sifting through paragraphs of information to get to the important stuff.

See example on www.joshkellar.com/resources

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Partnering type communication: Family/Welcome Center

Go-to place at church for members and visitors to collect information.

Brochures, take-homes, Bibles, parent resources, etc.

This location has an “attendant” that can answer questions.

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Partnering type communication: At special programs (VBS, Fall Festival,

etc.) Have follow-up activities for parents to do

with their children. Object lessons using items that can be

found around the house. Included “Talking points” for parents that

give them cues on what to say and when.

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Partnering type communication: Bulletins, Inserts & Pulpit

announcements Probably least effective. Limited amount of information

Take-home pages. You know where they end up. Save a tree. Every day is earth day.

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Church strategies that prepare for a relationship with the home. This is even more active. It assumes that the church has a

responsibility to not just inform but to equip parents to be the primary spiritual nurturers in the lives of their children.

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Church strategies that prepare for a relationship with the home. This is more than just a class on parenting

during the Bible class hour. It gets the kids and parents actually participating and interacting at church together.

Churches that prepare for a relationship with the home do at church what we want families to do at home. This means we get families talking to each other about spiritually formative things.

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Church strategies that prepare for a relationship with the home. Faith at Home Learning Center

Classroom looks like a home to do role-playing For most churches this will mean

adapting their current schedule. First/Last 10 minutes of Bible Class Entire Sunday devoted to “Family Time” No Drop-Offs at Special Event Programming.

The content during this time has to be both child & adult friendly.

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Milestones

Shift: What it takes to reach families todayBy Brian Haynes

FaithatHome.comMark Holmen

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Church strategies that prepare for a relationship with the home. Faith at Home Learning Center

Classroom looks like a home to do role-playing For most churches this will mean

adapting their current schedule. First/Last 10 minutes of Bible Class Entire Sunday devoted to “Family Time” No Drop-Offs at Special Event Programming.

The content during this time has to be both child & adult friendly.

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Preparation Activities 60 second prayers. Key Questions Family Worship Nifty-Fifty

(download the Kellars’ list at joshkellar.com/resources)

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Strategies for Spiritual Formation and Discipleship of Children


Session 4

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Baptism is not the goal.

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When we are content with baptism being the end goal of children’s ministry, we ask questions like:

Do they know enough? Are they old enough? Do they behave well enough?

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Instead, Baptism should be a natural response to a desire in a person’s life to imitate Christ and submit to him in faith and obedience.

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So… We should not “worry” about when a

child is going to be baptized. We should be ready to explain the more

important reason for baptism other than to get to heaven and have our sins washed away. It is how we take part in his death, burial, and resurrection. (Rom. 6)

CRUCIFORMITY

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We should create moments at home and at church for kids to ask questions.

Simply asking your child, “How are you feeling about Jesus?”

Baptism/next steps class (family focused)

“Playing” baptism. Books. Videos.

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We can use a variety of strategies to spiritually form and disciple our kids.

It is important to use methods that provide the most meaning to our kids. Every child is different in how they think about, feel and respond to spiritually formative material.

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Contemplative-Reflective Model

Encountering God through Prayer Contemplative Prayer Centering Prayer Examen



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through The Word Meditation Lectio Divina



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through Music Quiet songs that have meaning but not

motions. Hymns



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EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Instructional-Analytic Model

Encountering God through Prayer Fixed-Hour Prayer Liturgical Prayer Praying Scripture over kids.



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through The Word Bible Study Scripture Memorization Sword Drills



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through Music Memorization Songs Songs that tell the stories of scripture or

righteous living



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Pragmatic-Participatory Model

Encountering God through Prayer Prayer postures Labyrinth

Finger labyrinth Prayer Partners



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


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Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through Prayer Prayer postures Labyrinth

Finger labyrinth Prayer Partners



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through The Word Need to know the bottom-line, takeaway

for use immediately Use drama/puppets to retell the Bible

Story Role play Bible application



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through Music Songs with Motions



Media-DrivenActive-

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Active Engagement

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Media-Driven, Active-Engagement Model

Encountering God through Prayer Prayer Labyrinth Prayer wall Prayer bricks



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through The Word Guided Imagery Drama Emotion Speculation about Bible

Characters



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Encountering God through Music High-Energy, lots of movement. Dance Praise



Media-DrivenActive-

EngagementModels


yModels

Active Engagement

(Doing)




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Miscellaneous Children’s Ministry Safe Space Children’s Music Learning Space Design Volunteers

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Q&A

Capital Forum on Spiritual Formation & Discipleship of Children

Spiritual

Transcript of Capital Forum on Spiritual Formation & Discipleship of Children