Can You Hear Me Mother

8/9/2019 Can You Hear Me Mother

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CAN YOU HEAR ME MOTHER?

A PLAY

BY

T.J. COLLETT.

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CHARACTERS.

GEORGE: GRANDFATHER. LATE 60s.

NELLIE: GRANDMOTHER. LATE 60s

LUCY. GRANDDAUGHTER. 15 YRS.

ENID. AUNT TO LUCY. MID-30s

SCENE: SITTING ROOM AND GARDEN.

Time 1963.

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Act One. Scene One.

Early morning. Small London back garden. Brick walls around right and upper stage

garden. A three seated green garden bench. A striped deckchair by small garden bed onright. A small greenhouse lower stage left. Small garden bed on left with flowers of the

season with a door leading to the house lower stage. George is sitting on the green bench

with Lucy. He is dressed in grey flannel trousers and white shirt. Lucy has a knee-length

grey dress with no sleeves. Her hair is short and mousey.

George: Feel that sun on your face, Lucy.

Lucy: Nice.

George: The best part of the year this is. Garden at its most beautiful. The

birds singing away cheerfully.

Lucy: Nice.

George: And to know youve got a few years to look forward to and be able

lap all this up without fear of work next day.

Lucy: Nice.

George: Those flowers (Gestures with a nod of hid head.) have been a labour of

love. Raised them from seed, I did.

Lucy: Seed?

George: Packets of seed. Grew them in the greenhouse first. Looking over

them like a mother hen, I was. (Pause.)Dont they look a treat?

Lucy: Nice. (Looks at the greenhouse.) Tommy and I used to play in there when

we were little.

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George: How is Tommy, now?

Lucy: Wants to join the Marines.

George: Marines? Hes not tall enough for the marines.

Lucy: Hes doing exercises.

George: That wont make him taller. (Pause.) You need to be nearly six foot.

Giant blokes they are.

Lucy: Hes been eating all his vegetables.

George: Listen. (Pause. Looks about him.)Blackbird that was.

Lucy: Was it?

George: I can tell lots of birds by their singing.

Lucy: Even doing arm-stretching exercises.

George: Just a note sometimes. (Whistles imitating a blackbird.) Not many can

do that.

Lucy: Reckons hell make it.

George: Had a song thrush here the other day.

Lucy: Hell be miserable if he doesnt get in. Been looking forward to it

since he was thirteen.

George: Where's your grandmother got to? Wont be long she says. Just

popping in for a moment. (Looks towards the door.) Dont grow up to be like

your Gran. Talk about keep a bloke waiting. It took her months to decide if

she wanted to go out with me. I told her, way back in 1917, I couldnt waitforever. Might be killed by the Germans next time I go back to the front.

(Stands up and walks a few paces towards the greenhouse.)My mate, Billy Black

bought it back in 1917.

Lucy: Bought what, Grandad?

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George: Got killed, Lucy. Met his Maker.

Lucy: You mean God?

George: What about God?

Lucy: This Billy bloke he met God?

George: Howd I know who he met. God or Satan I dont know. Most likely

Satan if I know Billy Black.

Lucy: Its whom, Grandad.

George: Who what?

Lucy: Its whom he met.

George: Who met who?

Lucy: No, who met whom.

George: Now youve lost me, Lucy. (Pause.) Where the hell has she got to.

Wont be long. I could have had a shave and bathed in the time its taken her

to pop indoors for whatever it was she popped in for.

Lucy: Shall I go look for her?

George: No. Wait here with me. Wait with your old Grandad. Have a chat.

Lucy: Maybe shes upstairs. Shes not to up doing the stairs as she used to

be. Her legs are bad.

George: They werent up to much when I first met her.

Lucy: I thought she was a dancer?

George: So she was, Lucy, so she was. I was having you on. Having you on.

Just for a laugh.

Lucy: She showed me old photographs of her in a line up kicking her legs in

the air.

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George: Yes, she was always having her legs in the air.

Lucy: And that short skirt they had on then. Showed more than it ought,

Mum says. Youd not wear such a dress, Mum says to me. (Tries to pull her

skirt over her knees.) Its the fashion, I say to her.

George: Your mother has her ways of seeing things. She always was a bit

prim and proper. Wheres your Gran got to? (Silence. George sits down on thebench again. Both sit and look at the door.)

End of Scene One.

Act One. Scene Two.

Half an hour later. Same scene in the garden. Nellie sits on the garden bench next toLucy. Nellie is grey-haired and quite squat. She is wearing a green dress and slippers.

Enid is sitting in the deckchair. She has dark hair tied in a bunch at the back with a red

ribbon and is wearing a black skirt and pink blouse. A tea tray is on the ground with fourcups and saucers.

Nellie: And I said to Mrs Clerk next door, Dont let them in or youll never

get rid of them. All their talk about Jehovah and his Kingdom. Fair makes

me see red.

Lucy: Is that those Witness people?

Enid: Yes. Knocking on your door all hours. (Picks up a teacup and saucer and

hands it to Nellie.)Heres your tea, Mum.

Nellie: Dont let them in, I told her. (Takes the cup and saucer from

Nellie.)Thanks, Enid.

Enid: She at number 16 says she has them knocking at her door all hours.

(Hands Lucy a cup and saucer. Lucy takes it and holds it awkwardly.)

Nellie: She has men coming in her house all hours of the day and night. She

isnt any better than she ought to be. Ive seen them. All shapes and sizes.

Enid: Shes got a boarding house. Thats why there are men in and out all

the time.

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Nellie: Boarding house. Knocking shop, more like.

Lucy: Whats a knocking shop?

Enid: Place they sell doorknockers.

Nellie: And knobs. Doorknobs.

Lucy: I didnt notice any shop there as I passed by.

Nellie: It isnt, love. Its a boarding house according to our Enid here.

(Pause.) Her husband must be blind. All those men in and out. Must be up to

something in my opinion. Boarding house indeed. (Sips her tea.)

Lucy: We went to a boarding house in Ramsgate. Do you remember, Nan?

Me, Tommy, you and Grandad?

Nellie: Of course, I remember. We stayed there most years. Nice couple had

it. Husband and wife. Mind you, he was a bit soft. She was on the ball. She

was the business brain behind it all.

Enid: Didnt I go with you, too?

Nellie: No. Youd gone off on that weekend thing with Charlie Flick.

Enid: Charlie Flick. (Pause as she thinks about him.) The country air did things to

him. Gave him all sorts of ideas.

Nellie: Hope you didnt let him get too many ideas.

Lucy: That was a nice boarding house. The man often gave me sweets.

Enid: Tried it on in our tent. Soon showed him what was what and whatwasnt. Cheeky bloke he was.

Nellie: All the same these men. Give them an inch.

Lucy: He was very friendly. Spoke all soft.

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Enid: Wheres Dad got too? (Sips her tea.)

Nellie: Gone to see a man about a horse.

Lucy: Said what a pretty girl I was. Said he liked my dress.

Nellie: Wont be long he says. He said that during the Great War. Four years

he was away. (Sips her tea. Silence while they all sip their tea.)

Enid: What a time to see a man about a horse.

Nellie: Always the same on a Saturday. Soon as he can, hes off seeing a

man about a horse.

Lucy: Is Grandad buying a horse? Whered he keep it?

Nellie: Might as well as bought it the amount of money hes laid down over

the years.

Enid: Could have bought half a dozen horses.

Nellie: And the jockeys, too.

Lucy: Nice man, as I remember. Didnt like it when he touched me though.

But he didnt do it much. Being friendly, I suppose.

Enid: He was a bit soft in the head.

Nellie: Who?

Enid: That bloke who helped run the boarding house in Ramsgate. The one

with the funny moustache.

Nellie: Oh. Him. Reckon he was a Nancy boy, except he was married to her.Shed soon give him the elbow if hed not been up to it in bed, I reckon.

Enid: MumWeve got company. (Makes gesture towards Lucy.) Mind what

you say when weve young girls about. Poor old Lucy.

Lucy: Didnt tell Mum or Dad. Theyd not understand.

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Nellie: Dont mind me, Lucy, dear. My mouth and me. Dad always used to

say my mouth would get me hung. Youll get yourself hung, Nellie, hed

say. You and that north and south of yours.

Enid: He sat on my bed one night. Came in he did and asked me if I was

comfortable. I must have been about nine, then. He was ever so friendly.

Tucked me in. Asked me if I wanted anything. (Pause. Gives her cup and saucerto Enid who puts it on the tray.)

Enid: Dads tea is cold now. Silly bugger.

Nellie: He likes cold tea. Says it cools him down in this weather. (Hands her

cup and saucer to Enid who puts it on the tray. All three sit a look at the door. Birdsong.Silence.)

End of Scene Two.

Act One. Scene Three.

An hour later in the garden. George, Lucy and Nellie are sitting on the green garden

bench with Lucy in between the other two. Enid is in the deckchair with a book.

George: Those roses are my pride, Mother. Taken me years to get them as I

want them.

Nellie: You spend more time with your roses than you do with me.

(Looks at Lucy.) Just going outside to see my roses, he says. See my Roses

what? I say.

Enid: Roses are red, Violets are blue

George: Those roses have my time and effort loaded in them. Theyre a sight

for sore eyes they are. Especially first thing in the morning when Im out

here, the birds are singing, and the suns just getting up.

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Nellie: Hark at him. Youd think he was St. Francis.

Enid: St.Francis of Peckham.

Nellie: St.George of Peckham, more like, Edna. Except he hasnt killed no

dragon to my knowledge.

Enid: Dont know what he get up to in his spare time when hes out

somewhere.

George: See what I have to put up with, Lucy. Dragons surround me, but I

havent killed any.

Lucy: Do you remember that boarding house in Ramsgate. Grandad?

George: Been there enough times to remember it. That couple ran it. Her

with the bust and him with the moustache. Had some good times there, you

came with us once didnt you. Some years ago now. Nice place, Ramsgate.

We took the girls when they were young. Freda, Elsie, Sally and young Enid

here. They thought I was a poor soul surrounded by females. Nag, nag, and

nag it was. Back in those days, it was a different couple had it first. That Mr

and Mrs Gentry. Him with the one eye and her with the figure of a hippo.

(Pause.) Good old days. Before the last War that was.

Nellie: Then that Serf couple took over. He was a bit soft in the head, but

she was all right. She knew what was what and who was who.

Enid: Do you remember that time Freda got lost on the beach? Spent hours

looking for her.

Nellie: Yes, silly mare. I didnt half give her what for.

Lucy: He gave me nice sweets. Wrapped up they were in pretty paper.

George: Never went anywhere during the War. Then after the War it wasthat Serf couple. The Gentrys sold up I was told.

Nellie: War did many businesses out of customers. That Mr. Broughtham

who had the fish shop for instance.

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George: He was bombed out. Blew his shop up. Not a brick standing. Fish

everywhere. No Mr. Broughtham, though. Never did find the poor blighter's

body.

Lucy: Showed me his back garden. Took me into his greenhouse and

showed me his

George: Happened a lot in the Blitz.

Lucy: I cant remember the name of the plants now. Pretty flowers they

were.

Nellie: He knew his fish did Mr. Broughtham. Wasnt much he didnt know

about fish.

Enid: And then Sally went and wet herself in the dining room that time. Do

you remember that, Mum?

Nellie: Yes I do. Talk about not knowing where to put your face. She was a

one for that she was. Trust Sally to wee herself you could.

Lucy: I wet myself there once. My bed it was. Mrs Serf werent none too

pleased about it, but he was ever so nice about it. Said not to worry. Said it

happened. Helped me clean up he did.

George: How about a cup of tea, young Enid. Im parched. My stomachs

asking my mouth if my throats cut.

Enid: Your last one got cold. You and that horse. Hope it comes in after all

that.

Nellie: Theres some biscuits in the tin now. Bring them out, Enid, theres a

love. (Enid gets up and wanders off indoors. Nellie picks up the book.) Book of verse.

Whats she doing with a book of verse. Getting all into books and suchthings since she has been at that office. (Looks through a few pages at random.)

Cant see this small print without my glasses. Verse. Whats she want with

poetry?

George: Well, Lucy, what are you doing? Whats this job youve got?

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Lucy: Ive got a job in a jewellers. Mr. Warner runs it.

George: All right for a bit of cheap jewellery, then.

Nellie: Never was much for verse.

Lucy: Dont like it there much. Hes a right old moaner.

George: Bought your gran her ring up the West End. Wasnt nothing too

much to write home about, but it served its purpose. A rings a ring at the

end of the day.

Nellie: Had a bloke on the stage when I was a dancer who did monologues.

Funny verse things. Some were a bit near the bone. Claude Finnegan. One

for the women he was. Hands everywhere if you werent careful.

Lucy: The other girl there thinks hes all right. She would though, seeing as

she lets him give her a cuddle and things. (Pause.) Id rather leave than do

that. Plenty of other jobs.

Nellie: I gave him monologues. Didnt put his hands on me again. Dont you

let them, Lucy. Once you let them do it once, theyll always try it on.

George: Wheres Enid got to with that tea? Gone to China?

Nellie: Give the girl a chance. Only been gone a few minutes. Hes an

impatient sod, Lucy, he really is. He was like this when he first went out

with me. When are we going to get married? When can we kiss? When can

we do whatever it was he wanted to do? (Pause. All three sit in silence.)

End of Scene Three.

Act One. Scene Four.

Later in the morning in the garden. Enid is sitting in the deckchair with her poetry book.Lucy is sitting on the green garden bench on her own. George is in his greenhouse.

Enid: The suns nice and warm now.

Lucy: Yes. Nice here. The flowers have a nice smell.

Enid: Just right for a spot of poetry. Do you like poetry, Lucy?

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Lucy: Read some at school. (Looks towards the green house.)Bet its warm in the

green house.

Enid: Meant to be hot in the green house. Thats the point to it. (Pause. Opens

her book. Selects a page at random.)Here we are. Sweetest love, I do not go for

weariness of thee. (Pause.)Now thats good that is. Imagine Dad reciting that

to Mum. Not on your Nelly. More chance of him winning some money on

the horses.

Lucy: Our Miss Monne read us poems in class. Most of us got bored with it

and mucked about. Shed go of the deep end she would. Make us do

something else like write an essay on the joys of poetry or the beginning of

spring. (Pause.)Never liked school much. I was glad when I left last year.

Enid: Nor in hope, the world can show a fitter love for me.

Lucy: This job isnt the best, but Ill stay until I find something better. Got

to earn a crust of bread Mum says.

Enid: Donne that was. (Pause.)

Lucy: Done what?

Enid: The poet.

Lucy: Done what to the poet?

Enid: Done what to who?

Lucy: Done what to whom it is.

Enid: Whom it is what? (Pause. Looks over book at Lucy.)What did Mum put in

that tea?

Lucy: Its whom done what, not who done what.

Enid: Lucy youve lost me. I think it best we listen and enjoy the poem.

Lucy: Who wrote it?

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Enid: Wrote what?

Lucy: The poem youve just read.

Enid: Donne. John Donne. (Opens the book at a different page.)Heres one.

Brittle beauty that nature made so frail. (Pause.) What do you think of that?

Lucy: Nice.

Enid: Whereof the gift is small (Pause.)

George: Whats this about a small gift? (Stands outside the green house.)

Enid: Poetry. Im reciting a poem.

George: A poem? Something you wrote yourself?

Enid: No. From the book. Some poet called Howard.

George: I knew a bloke called Howard. Sidney Howard. He was our

sergeant on our section of the Front in the Great War. Upright as a ramrod

he was. He could sniff a rat a mile off. Had a hooter like a rhino. (Pause.)He

lost a finger, so they sent him back home for a while. He comes back, much

to our delight as he was a good bloke, and gets his head blown off a week

later.

Enid: And the moral is, Dad?

George: Keep your bloody head down in wartime.

Lucy: Are you going to Ramsgate again, Grandad?

Enid: Poor bloke. Bet his wife wasnt happy about that.George: Dont expect he was too pleased himself.

Lucy: Id like to go to Ramsgate again.

Enid: Dont see the point to all this war. The ordinary people come off

worse. Look how we were bombed out twice.

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George: We survived unharmed.

Lucy: I can pay my own way this time now Im working.

Enid: Plenty that didnt though. Like that Mrs Putney three up from us. She

went and two of her kids. (Pause.)She didnt do anyone any harm, bought her

kids up while her husband was fighting for King and Country, and got killed

for her troubles.

Lucy: Mum says Im to ask you if you are going. I loved it there last time.

George: Ramsgate. Yes. Thatd be nice. See what your Gran says. Shes the

one to see about that, Lucy. (Pause.) Ramsgate. Had some good times there

didnt we Enid?

Enid: Her other two kids had to be shipped off to their aunts place in the

country. Poor sods. Bet they didnt think much of the War. Their dad got

compassionate leave for a while, if I remember right. I was only a kid myself

then.

George: Nice times at Ramsgate, Enid, I said. (Walks to the green garden bench

and sits next to Lucy.) The Wars over. Best forgotten.

Enid: Forgotten and then we have another one, Best not to forget, Dad.

Lucy: My dad said politicians start all wars. They started it, he said, they

should fight it.

George: Thats not how it is though is it, Lucy. Its we who have to fight the

bloody wars these politicians start. Always has been always will be.

Enid: Ramsgates a nice place. Wouldnt mind going there myself this time.

Had enough of that Charlie Flick and his trips. He had more in mind thancamping. If thats what fresh air does to a bloke then he can stay in London

and choke for all I care. Ill go to Ramsgate with you and Mum this time.

(Puts her book down on her lap.)Where is Mum?

George: Said she was popping over the shop for some stuff for lunch. Shes

probably met someone she knows and got chatting. Just as well we never

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had her as a messenger in the War or wed still be waiting for a reply. She

doesnt half chat. If I wrote down all the gossip, she sprouts in a day I could

fill a book.

Lucy: Not sure how much fighting my dad did in the War. He entertained

the troops.

Enid: Each plays their part in the overall thing.

George: If he sang then Id say he did their morale a good turn. Probably

made the troops realise what they were fighting for. Is he acting at the

moment?

Lucy: He did a small part in Hamlet last month.

Enid: Each person being a small piece of the larger picture. Like a jigsaw, I

suppose.

George: Hamlet. Small part. Things are looking up. Hell be playing

Macbeths auntie before long. (Pause.)Thought Elsie would have had him on

a proper job by now, knowing her.

Lucy: Dad says hell get the lead role one day. Just a matter of waiting. See

what comes along. (Looks down at her hands. Pulls her skirt down over her

knees.)That Mr.Serf will still be at Ramsgate wont he?

Enid: If Mums met up with Mrs Clerk then were in for a long wait. Her

sons just got back from wherever it was he went to last year with his ship.

Shell be chewing that bone of news over for God knows how long. Youd

have thought hed been to the South Pole in his pyjamas and slippers the

way she goes on.

George: Mind you, Enid; its more than her eldest ever did. He went no

further than Brixton at Her Majestys Pleasure.

Lucy: Im sure he meant to be kind. All those sweets he gave me.

Enid: Archie Clerk always was a non-starter at school. The number of times

he got the cane was nobodys business. If he got a quid for each time he had

the cane hed be able to retire by now. (Gets up from the deckchair and rubs her

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backside.)Got a numb bum, now. Sitting too long.

(Looks up at the sky.)Those clouds are beautiful. I can see a face in that one

over there.

George: Whose face is it?

Enid: Cant say whose face. Just a face. A face-like cloud. And that one

over there is like a big marshmallow. (Screws up her nose. Peers harder.)Funny

what you can see in the clouds.

George: Little things please little minds, little knickers fit little behinds.

Lucy: And he did say nice things to me.

Enid: Youre wasted, Dad. You should have been a poet yourself. Poetlaureate no less.

George: You cheeky mare. (Goes to swipe her backside but she moves off towards

the green house.)Youre not too big for a smack, my girl. (Smiles.) I pity your

husband should you get one.

Enid: Hell need pitying by the time hes got to know me well enough.

Lucy: Clarence he said his name was.

George: Too true, he will. Poor blighter whoever he may be. (Enid moves back

and rubs Georges head. George grabs her hand and smacks it playfully.)What will I do

if you leave? Ill be left with your mother and no relief. Elsie comes but

rarely and Sally visits once a month regular as clockwork. Shes like a

prison visitor. (Pause.)Wont be the same if you leave. Ill have no one to do

me little chores. No one to get me a nice cup of tea.

Enid: Mums here. Shell get you what you want.

Lucy: Clarence Serf. (Looks at her hands again.) His wife was not so nice. She

was always on at him about doing this and that.

George: She says I get under her feet. And I say to her that she shouldnt

have such big feet. Shed laugh at that once, now she just pulls a face and

tut-tuts. (Pulls Enid onto his lap.)Id hate it if my little girl got married.

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Enid: Dont be such a big softy. (Kisses Georges hand and then gets up.)Youll be

glad to see the back of me.

George: Got to better than the front.

Lucy: I felt sorry for him at times.

Enid: Sorry for whom?

Lucy: Clarence Serf.

Enid: Hes another softy.

George: His moustache could win prizes.

Lucy: Its a bit prickly.

Enid: Wonder what his wife saw in him?

George: Looks like hes got toilet brush under his nose.

Lucy: He let me touch it once. Very prickly. Makes you feel all funny.

Enid: The way he creeps about the place. Like some Nancy Boy.

(Pause.)Wheres Mum got to?

George: Putting the world to rights, I expect. She, Mrs Clerk, and Old Ma

Collins are like an outpost of the United Nations. Theyd put the world to

rights all right. No one else would get a word in edgeways. Had a bloke like

that in the army. He could talk the hind leg off a donkey. Bit simple he was,

but he did half talk. Perkins he was called. Ronald Perkins. Lost a leg he did,

but didnt stop him talking. Reckon if he lost his head hed still mange to

chat away to himself somehow.

Lucy: He liked me. Always doing things for me.

Enid: Look at the time. Better see wheres Mums got to. (Lucy pulls her skirtdown again although it doesnt need it. George Sniffs the air and thinks of roses. Enidwalks indoors to look for Nellie. Silence.)

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End of Scene Four.

Act One. Scene Five.

After twelve oclock and in the garden. George and Nellie are sitting on the green garden

bench. George is looking around at his flowers and Nellie is looking through the book of

verse.

Nellie: Cant see what she sees in all this poetry stuff. Ever since she started

at the office, shes had her head in a book every minute she can spare.

George: These flowers need watering. This heat dries them out.

Nellie: Catch me with my head in a book. More important thing to do withmy time. Girls of her class dont read poetry. Lot of nonsense. Needs to get

her head down and find herself a husband or shell end up an old maid she

will. No one will want her once shes passed thirty-five. Stale goods theyll

reckon.

George: Only watered them this morning. I know I shouldnt, but they

seemed to need it. And they seem to need it again. Bloody heat.

Nellie: Blokes in my day wouldnt look at a woman once she was passed herprime. My dad reckoned any woman still unmarried after that was either

untouched or untouchable. Best avoided anyway. So he reckoned. That

Miriam Gold for example. Forty-four and never been kissed. Then all of a

sudden, shes off with this clergyman and living it up on the South of

France. What a carry on I ask you. Forty-four. (Pause. Opens the book and skips a

few pages.)Theres some as say she wasnt no virgin. That shed been about a

bit, but I never saw her with a bloke before that. Clergyman indeed. And her

a Jew too. No accounting for taste.

George: Times have changed, Nellie. Things arent what they were.

(Stands and goes across to the greenhouse. Stops and peers through the glass.)They

need watering too. Its this heat. Like being in the blooding desert. Still cant

complain.

Nellie: You are complaining.

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George: Dont do any good though does it. No matter how much you moan

about something if it doesnt change, it stays the same.

Nellie: Wheres Lucy?

George: Went to the loo.

Nellie: Shes taking her time.

George: What are you timing her?

Nellie: No. Just wondered where she was thats all.

George: Those tomatoes are coming along well.

Nellie: Thought she might be feeling unwell. This heat does that to some

people. Makes them feel unwell. Sally was like that. Bit of sun and she was

as sick as a parrot on one leg. And when she fell for her Christopher that

summer, she was on the loo longer than a hen on its eggs. Poor mare. Its a

wonder the poor mite wasnt born in the loo the amount of time his mother

sat on it. (Puts the book down on the deckchair. Looks at George as he returns to the

bench and sits down.) I cant bear the heat too much. But if it were raining wed

be complaining, I expect. Never satisfied us British. Always having a moan

about something or other. Miserable lot.

George: Lucys a quiet girl. Dont say more than she has to. Shes like a

miser with her words. If she holds on to her money like she does her words,

shell be a rich girl by the time shes twenty.

Nellie: Shes shy. Shell come out when shes older. They always do.

George: That skirts a bit on the short side. Almost up to her backside.

Nellie: Its the fashion. A girl has to keep with the fashion. Dont want to be

out of it all does her.

George: A presents more of a surprise if its wrapped.

Nellie: Whatd you mean by that?

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George: Well, if she shows all she has the blokes arent going to get much of

a surprise are they.

Nellie: George! Whats got into you? Youre getting old and cynical. The

girls growing up to be a nice young woman, so you leave her be.

George: Just saying thats all. Have to keep an eye out for these young girls;

they dont know the world as we do. There are some funny people about.

Nellie: Always has been. Ive come across a few in my time.

George: Wouldnt want her to come a cropper by mixing with the wrong

sort. There are blokes out there whod see her as she is and think it was their

birthday.

Nellie: Ill give them birthday if I catch anyone taking liberties with our

Lucy. Ill make them sing in a higher voice mark my words if I dont.

(Pause.) I remember that Liz Blackbridge, poor soul. Got taken advantage of

because she was a bit simple. Didnt know her backside from her elbow she

didnt. Some cuss of a swine took it into his mind to (Pause.)Lucy cant

still be in the loo. She must be out by now. (Pause.)

George: What are you some kind of time and motion clerk or something?

Nellie: Just wondering thats all.

George: Hope our Enids got lunch ready my stomachs rumbling.

Nellie: What do you want a servant? Go see for yourself. We dont wait

hand on foot for nobody.

George: Hark at you, you lazy mare. If you were a racehorse youd always

come in last.

Nellie: If you were the jockey, Id throw you off every time.

George: That suns too hot. Look at my flowers.

Nellie: You and your flowers.

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George: Sweltering. Like me they are. Sweltering something rotten.

Nellie: Soon be lunch. Wheres Lucy? Wheres the girl got to? (George broodson his flowers. Nellie stares at the doorway in silence.)

End of Scene Five.

Act One. Scene Six.

An hour later in the garden. George, Nellie and Lucy are sitting on the green garden

bench with Lucy in between the other two. Enid is in the deckchair with her book open.There is a tray with four cups and saucers on the ground.

Enid: Come into the garden, Maud, for the black bat, night, has flown.

Nellie: That was sung at the music hall where I danced once upon a time.

Enid: Its from a poem.

Nellie: It werent a poem then. Some bloke called Peppery Pete sang it

amongst other things.

Enid: Its still from a poem. Tennyson wrote it.

Nellie: Who?

Enid: Tennyson.

George: I knew a chap called Tennyson. Albert Tennyson. He was a big

feller with large ears. Bit of a card player too. Even at the Front, he played

when he got the chance. He reckoned he could hear a shell coming before it

had left the gun. Marvellous ears he had. Could hear a pin drop even when

the shells were exploding all round us. (Pause. Leans forward to reach his cup of

tea, but cant quite reach it.)Pass my cup over Enid, my throats parched. Dry as

a dead man's willy.

Enid: Dad! Weve got company. Lucy doesnt want to hear your crude

expressions.

George: Oops! Sorry, Lucy. Forgot myself there. Not used to being in the

company of a lady. (Sips his tea. Looks at Lucy and smiles weakly.)

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Nellie: Cheeky blighter.

Enid: Take no notice, Lucy. Some of us have manners some of us havent.

Some of us are trying to improve ourselves. (Pause. Hands around the cups andsaucers to Nellie and Lucy, then picks up her own and sips from it.)

George: Youre quiet, Lucy. Youve not said two words to rub together

since lunch.

Lucy: I was thinking. (Looks at George for few a seconds then looks at Enid.)Nan

said you might be going to Ramsgate later this year. (Pause. Looks at her

knees.)Nan said to ask you if I could come. Id pay my way now that Im

working. Id love to go again. (Raises her eyes shyly to George.)I wouldnt be

any trouble.

George: Of course you can come. Love you to be with us. Keep us on our

toes. (Pause.) What would your mum say though? Would she mind?

Lucy: No. It was she who told me to ask you and Nan about going. Said I

needed a break.

George: Well there you are then. Ramsgate here we come. Roll out the red

carpet. (Pause.)Nice to see the old place again. See what theyve done to the

place since last time we went.

Nellie: Not much, I dont suppose. Shes too tight to spend out much for

decorating. And her husbands too much of a softy to make changes himself.(Sips her tea.)

Lucy: He was nice to me. I thought him a gentleman.

Enid: I wished Id come last time. Better than being with that Charlie Flick

and his wandering hands. Had to fight him off most of the time. Him and hiscountry walks. It wasnt walks he was after.

Nellie: That moustache of his was a sight. Fair made me want to laugh at the

way it went up and down as he spoke. Like a hedgehog on a seesaw. And

those cardigans he wore. Wouldnt be seen dead in them.

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George: That girl they had working for them was a nice looking girl. What

was her name?

Nellie: Fay. You should have remembered her name, you spoke to her every

spare minute you could. Eyeing her up and down. I saw you. Your eyes out

on stoppers every time she went by. (Pause. Looks at George sideways. Then look

at head as if disgusted with the memory.)Young enough to be your granddaughter.

Dont understand you men, never will I dont suppose. Mysterious lot all of

you. Glad I never had any sons.

Enid: No, only us daughters to send you up the wall and down the other side.

(Puts down her cup and saucer and opens her book again.)Theres not a nook within

this solemn pass (Pause.)Those are nice words. Makes you go all funny in

the legs.

Nellie: Make more than that to make me go funny in the legs.

George: Youve got funny legs anyway. You could earn a fortune walking

on the stage with those legs.

Nellie: I was dancer I was. Had men at my feet. Waiting at the stage door,

they were. Rows of them.

Enid: I want to learn more verse by heart so I can quote them to people at

work.

Lucy: Clarence he said to call him. Call me Clarence he said that time he

and I were in his green house.

Enid: It shows culture. Shows you want to improve yourself.

George: Call kicking your legs in the air dancing? Ive seen horses do better.

Nellie: Could have had my pick of good-looking blokes. And then you camealong.

Lucy: Showed me his blooms.

Enid: I want to be seen to be making an improvement to myself. Dont want

to be an office girl all my life. Want to see things and do things.

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George: Do things, our Enid? What things?

Enid: See the world. See the sights. Go places Ive never been before.

Nellie: There were blokes there I could have had a good life with. Could

have been somebody.

Lucy: He held my hand once and said how soft and smooth it was. He was

ever so gentle. (Pause. Silence falls for a few moments as teas are finished and cupsand saucers replaced on the tray.)

Enid: I dont want to be sitting in this garden sipping tea this time next year.

I want to have been somewhere and done things.

George: Who with?

Enid: Well some one who thinks as I do.

George: Who?

Enid: Robert Hickman, for one.

George: Whos he when hes at home?

Nellie: One of her fancy blokes, I bet, at the office.

Lucy: I was nine then. I bet Clarence will be surprised to see me now Im

fifteen.

Enid: Hes good taste and manners, whats wrong with that?

George: Nothing wrong with that. Long as hes not stringing you along for a

bit of hanky-panky. I know what blokes are like.

Nellie: You thought that Williams bloke was the thing. Welsh buffoon.

Enid: He wasnt Welsh, he was Scottish.

Nellie: Whats the different, theyre all foreigners.

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Lucy: Whos a foreigner?

Nellie: Enids old boyfriend. Had a face like a dartboard.

Enid: Wasnt his fault he had spots.

Nellie: Spots? He looked as if hed had the plague.

Enid: Youve never approved of my men friends.

George: I thought some of them were quite nice. Especially Jimmy Ashman.

He was a bloke Id have liked as a son-in-law.

Nellie: He was one of them funny blokes. Wore his sisters dresses.Enid: It was something he couldnt help. He tried.

Nellie: Try your dresses on did he?

Enid: No. We came to an agreement. We parted as friends.

George: I didnt know that. Transsomething or other isnt it?

Lucy: Did he wear dresses?

Enid: Friends dont tell tales about each other. He was very nice. (Silence.Enid gets up, picks up the tray, and walks indoors all stiff and upright.)

Lucy: Who wears his sisters dresses?

Nellie: Never you mind, Lucy, dear. No one you know.

George: Shes gone off in a huff now. Shell sulk for ages. Wont get a

polite word from her now until bedtime.

Nellie: Your fault. You and your mouth.

George: You brought up about him wearing his sisters dresses. I said

nothing about it.

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Lucy: Scottish men wear dresses dont they?

Nellie: Theyre kilts, Lucy. Not quite the same thing.

George: Best keep my mouth shut. Talk about my flowers and the birds.

Lucy: I saw one at Waterloo Station.

Nellie: Saw what, Lucy?

Lucy: Scotsman in a kilt thing. He had hairy legs.

Nellie: Just like your grandad.

George: Birds keep themselves to themselves. No backchat or moans fromthem. (Pause. Sits and looks about the garden.)

Lucy: He had bushy eyebrows as well.

Nellie: Just as well you never saw under his kilt then.

Lucy: He was waiting for a train. He looked at me and smiled.

Nellie: We had a Scotsman on the stage years ago. Sang all those old songs

of Bonny Scotland and If I take the low road and so forth. Drank like a fish.

(Smiles to herself.)He kissed me once. It was like kissing a beer barrel. He had

hairy legs as well. Must run in the blood. Ginger hair and red cheeks he had.

I think he thought I was a bit easy going. But he got it wrong. I wasnt

having any of his old tricks. But he was generous. Took me out for a drink

quite few times at some public house he knew. (Stops. Looks at George who is

miles away in thought.) I could have lived in Glasgow. He proposed to me one

night. I turned him down of course, but it could have been different. I could

have been the wife of a foreigner.

Lucy: Theres a boy I like near where I live. Hes called Jude. Mum thinks

hes all right, but says I could do better. We kissed last Christmas. Nothing

more. Just a kiss. Mum doesnt know about the kiss. Nothing to write home

about. Just a kiss.

George: Dont get many song thrushes round here. Sparrows galore.

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Blackbirds in their hundreds. But few song thrushes. Strange that. Youd

think thered be more.

Nellie: Glasgows a right dump so Ive heard. Edinburgh. Thatd be all right.

Perhaps he might have gone there if Id said so. (Pause. Looks at George

intently.)Water under the bridge now. Too late to have those thoughts. 1919

that was. Just after the War. You were still away. (Looks away from George.Stares at the flowers near by.)

Lucy: Sometimes I think about Jude quite a bit.

Nellie: Better see how Enid is. (Gets up from the green garden bench and walksslowly towards the door of the house. She stops and looks back at George. Then she goes

indoors.)

George: This Jude, do you love him?

Lucy: I think about him. Is it love if you think about people?

George: Depends what you think about. (Pause. Lucy nods and looks away.George smiles in deep thought and stares at the sky looking for birds.)

End of Scene Six.

Act One. Scene Seven.

An hour later in the garden. Lucy and Enid are sitting on the green garden bench. Enid

holds her book in her hands.

Enid: I dont know why I bother trying to improve myself; Mum and Dad

seem to think its a waste of time. Here I am thirty-three years old unloved

and unmarried. Even my future prospects arent much to write home about.

My three sisters are married with children and here I am becoming an old

maid. (Sighs.)Books wont solve my problem. They wont make me more

attractive or more likely to get a man. But Robert thinks I could make

something of myself. He believes in me. Hes the first person to really takean interest in me. The first man to look at me and see more than a bust, legs

and a pretty face. (Pause.)If Mum and Dad had their way, Id be well on the

road to spinsterhood. Just because my sisters married young doesnt mean I

wont get married someday. I will. I know I will. (Looks at the book for a

moment then puts down beside her.) What do you think, Lucy? Will I get married

one day?

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Lucy: Yes. I think you will, Aunt Enid.

Enid: Good at least you believe in me. Do you want to get married one day?

Lucy: I suppose so. Havent thought about it.

Enid: Too young for you yet.

Lucy: Jude is my only boyfriend at the moment. Hes a bit bossy. Says I

ought to do this and not to do that.

Enid: You dont want any of that, Lucy. Hell always boss you about

otherwise. Tell him to ease off. Better still; tell him go a take a jump.

Lucy: I couldnt do that.

Enid: Why not?

Lucy: I just couldnt.

Enid: Youll learn.

Lucy: I like him; he might think me rude.

Enid: So what. Let him get used to the idea.

Lucy: Then he might not want to see me anymore.

Enid: If youre lucky.

Lucy: But I want to see him. I think I love him.

Enid: Love is a complicated thing. Avoid that Lucy until you can handle it.

Lucy: I am in love, Im sure.

Enid: You only think youre in love because it sounds good. You only think

youre in love, Lucy.

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Lucy: But I feel it here. (Points to her breast.)I think about him a lot of the time.

I want to be with him as much as possible.

Enid: Thats bad.

Lucy: Why?

Enid: Because youre too young for that kind of relationship.

Lucy: Judes nice.

Enid: So is chocolate, but I wouldnt want too much of it. Too sickly.

Lucy: He respects me.

Enid: So he should.

Lucy: We kissed. Just kissed.

Enid: From little acorns

Lucy: It was a natural thing. It just happened.

Enid: So does flu. (Lucy stares at the sky and Enid stares ahead. Silence.)

End of Act One and Scene Seven.

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Act Two. Scene One.

Late afternoon. George, Nellie, Lucy sit on the garden bench. Enid sits on the deckchair

with her book in her hands.

George: Great tit!

Nellie: George, language.

George: Its a bird, rare one round here. Not seen one for ages.

Nellie: Him and his birds. Youd think hed have something better to do thanlook at birds at his age.

Enid: My father the ornithologist.

Nellie: Whats that when its at home?

George: It might have been a blue tit of course; I only got a quick look at it.

Enid: Someone who studies birds, Mother.

Nellie: He does that all right. Spends hours at it he does. Head in a book,

glasses on the end of his beak like some bloody owl.

George: I saw a coal tit last year. Now that is a rarity.

Lucy: I wouldnt know one tit from another. What do they look like?

George: Ill show you my book later. Lovely birds. Like bull finches.

Theyre very rare round here. Seen them in the country. Plenty of birdsthere.

Nellie: That Mrs Coles was in the butchers. Her legs arent half-bad. Had a

job to get across the road she did.

Enid: Its either a subject you love or hate, ornithology. Birds are birds to

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me. They fly. They have feathers. Thats as far as I go.

George: I havent quite picked out their singing yet. Blackbirds I know well.

Lucy: Clarence Serf used to feed the birds out the back of the boarding

house, but his wife kept telling him not to, but he still did it.

Nellie: Eaten up with it she is.

Enid: Whos eaten up with what?

Nellie: Mrs Coles, eaten up with arthritis. Poor old girl. Shes had a life she

has. First, her husband goes off with that girl from the grocers just after the

War, and then her son, Don, gets himself wounded in Suez and comes back a

cripple.

Enid: I dont think arthritis eats you up, Mum. Its an inflammation of the

joints. Terrible thing that. Bert Lomax had it bad if you remember.

Lucy: Clarence Serf was kind. Always thinking of others he was. Gave me a

big cuddle when I fell over and hurt my leg.

Nellie: Well, whatever it is, shes crippled with it. And her sons no help

seeing as hes not able to get about much what with that gammy leg of his.

George: Don Coles knows his horses, though, gammy leg or not. He can

pick a winner with his eyes shut.

Nellie: Thats as may be, but his mother has a job getting about. Half an

hour it took her to get from the butchers to the kerb. She couldnt have any

more kids after her Don as she had to have an operation to sort her out

afterwards. Poor cow. (Sighs. Pause. Looks about her. Studies Lucy sitting beside

her.)Dont get old, Lucy. Its not worth the effort.

George: Whats she supposed to do then? Commit suicide when shes out ofher sixties?

Lucy: I dont want to get old. I want to stay as I am.

Enid: Wouldnt we all have liked to have done. Id love to be fifteen again.

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Nellie: You were a little tearaway when you were fifteen. Wouldnt want to

go through that again thank you very much. Off on the back of motorbikes at

all hours. Your father and I had nightmares we did. Wondering if youd be

back in one piece.

George: When I was fifteen Id been at work a year or so, working for next

to nothing. Tough days they were. You had to get your back into it or get

out. No mucking about in those days.

Lucy: I was very upset when I had my first...

Enid: I was only having fun. Got to have fun when youre young.

Nellie: You had some odd-looking blokes calling for you, you did. Bloodyconvict looking some of them. Your father had them wait in the garden at

the front and wouldnt let them in. (Looks across at Enid in the deckchair.)Turned

my hair grey overnight it did all that worry.

Lucy: Thought I was dying.

George: I wanted to be an engine driver, but my father said I had to work

with him so he could keep an eye on me. (Pause.)

Enid: Anyway, here I am still unmarried for all those blokes knocking at the

door with their flowers and boxes of chocolates.

Nellie: Some of them were quite nice.

George: A job for life my father said. Youll be here until you retire he said.

The Great War made a mockery of that. Many a bloke never came back.

(Becomes silent for a few moments.)My best mate, Roland Smith, never came

back with me. We enlisted the same day and joined the same regiment. We

went through thick and thin together and had many a laugh about ourescapes and close scrapes. (Sighs. Pause. Breathes in hard.)Then a sniper picks

off the silly blighter. A single bullet right through his head. One moment

hes there smiling his head off, the next hes on the floor of the trench with a

hole in his head. (Pause.)There, that was a thrush. (Puts his hand over his ear and

leans his head to one side.)I know that sound when I hear it.

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Lucy: I hate being a young woman sometimes. Men seem to be looking at

you and whispering behind your back or whistling at you. You can almost

hear their brains ticking over.

Enid: Thats men for you, Lucy. Eyes out on stoppers soon as a pretty girl

goes by.

Nellie: Ive yet to meet a bloke who didnt have his eyes out on stoppers

when a girl goes by. Glad I didnt have sons.

Lucy: Makes you feel dirty imagining what they might be thinking.

George: Id love to be in the country again and see all those birds you cant

see in London. Breathe in the fresh air. Feel the country air in your face.

Enid: Ive had a few blokes like that. Hands like an octopus. Tongues down

your throat like bloody vipers. You have to let them know where you stand,

Lucy. Dont stand for any nonsense. Dont let them get away with anything

you dont want. If you let them do it, they wont respect you afterwards.

Lucy: Jude does things Im not happy about.

Enid: Tell him, Lucy, tell him. Put the bugger straight. Let him see the line

where hes not to go beyond and hell respect you.

Nellie: Smack the blighters face. Kick his backside for him.

George: You always were a romantic werent you, Mother.

Nellie: A girl has to stand her ground. No use worrying afterwards about it.

Once the horses bolted thats it.

Enid: Mrs Clerks daughter(Whispers.)Wendy, she was caught out. Her belly

stuck out a like an elephants backside and still her mother didnt noticeuntil it was almost due. Howd that get there, her mother said to her.

Howd do you think it got there, Wendy says to her, eating too much

rhubarb?(Pause.) Couldnt remember who the father was. However, once the

baby was born and was as black as coal that narrowed the field down a bit.

(Pause.)You have to make your stand, Lucy. Got to let them see you mean

business. When you say no, mean no. No is no.

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George: Except when it means yes.

Nellie: Shut up, George, youll confuse the girl.

Lucy: Kisses is all right isnt it?

Nellie: Kissings fine.

George: I knew a girl who had a stammer. When she said no it took so long

for her to get it out that the bloke had gone home and was in bed by the time

shed finished.

Enid: You and your tales, Dad. Its serious. We dont want young Lucy here

getting herself in the family way before shes had time to live and see theworld.

George: She had the same trouble when she said yes. Shes still a virgin at

sixty-two.

Nellie: George, stop this nonsense. Lucys being serious. She needs advice.

Lucy: Jude thinks we ought to get more serious. Says were too timid.

Enid: Ill give him too timid. If he meets me in a dark alley, he wont think

me too timid.

Nellie: Timid my backside. What will blokes come out with next?

George: That, if Im not mistaken, was a blackbird.

Nellie: They have some bright ideas they do. All he wants, Lucy is to see

how far he can go.

Enid: Ill show him how far he can go all right. To the far end of a short pier

and jump off.

George: Makes your eyes water all this birdsong. Makes you think youre in

the country.

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Nellie: Best to keep your legs crossed rather than your fingers. Dont give

him an inch or hell take a yard.

Lucy: Clarence Serf was a gentleman. He knew how to respect a girl.

George: Ramsgate is where you get your seabirds. Thats something to look

forward to when we go there.

Nellie: I had enough of them blokes when I was dancer. Eyes and hands they

were. Not a bit cultured they werent. Wouldnt know a can-can from a

waltz. I could have done ballet if I wanted. This bloke from up West says he

thought I had the making of a good ballet dancer if I set my mind to it.

Enid: I can see you now, Mother, with your tutu and your ballet shoes.

George: I think that Mrs Serfs a bit of sadist. The way she treats her

husband. Talk about tongue-lashing.

Lucy: He kissed me that time when I scrapped my knees on those rocks.

Nellie: Could have been famous. Have danced before royalty. Have been

somebody worth noticing. (Pause. Looks at the sky.)

George: Wouldnt want her in my bed thats for sure.

Enid: Dreams are dreams, Mother.

Lucy: He will think Ive grown.

George: Not that Id fancy him either. Soft in the head.

Enid: What might have been is just that a big might have been.

Lucy: I hope hell still like me.

George: A fine pair those two.

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Enid: I could have been the daughter of a famous ballerina. Have gone to a

school for rich kids and got spoilt. (Looks back at Nellie. She smiles.)However,

what would I be doing going to a school for rich brats? Id rather be who I

am and what I am for all that.

Lucy: I hope he does. He was a kind man. Always ready with a cuddle and a

smile.

George: Her with a bust like a battleship and him with moustache like dead

hedgehog. Strange couple. Nice place, though. Nice place. (Pause. Georgecloses his eyes. Enid reads a page of her book. Nellie gets up from the bench and wandersoff indoors without saying a word. Lucy looks at Enid and thinks of Ramsgate.)

End of Scene One.

Act Two. Scene Two.

Half an hour later. George and Lucy sit on the bench. Enid is in the deckchair with hereyes closed.

Lucy: What was it like being the father of four daughters, Grandad?

George: Like being in the trenches all over again. I was out numbered five to

one. That's frightening odds. No army would go into a battle against suchodds. (Smiles.)I received a medal for fighting in the trenches, but I've

received nothing for being a father for forty-three years. Only hair loss and a

nervous disposition.

Lucy: Didn't any of my aunt's want to go on the stage and be a dancer like

Nan?

George: Freda was always the comedian and thought she'd make it on the

stage or in films, but she failed all the auditions she went for and got marriedinstead. (Pause)Your mother wanted to be an actress, but it wasn't easy in

those days. Just after the War, things were pretty desperate. She had to get a

job so put the idea aside. However, she went to the theatre quite a lot. That's

where she met your father. They married. Tommy came along and then you

and that was that. Your father being an actor seemed to sustain her in her

gloomy moments.

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Lucy: I think she's more ambitious than Dad is.

George: Always has been, always will.

Lucy: Dad could have made it to the top Mum says. But Dad being Dad he

just plods along from one small part to the other.

Enid: I wanted to go on the stage, but Mum was against it.

George: She knows what it's like being on stage in that type of world.

Lucy: Dad wants to play King Lear one day.

Enid: I could have managed to cope. Mum did.

George: Perhaps she thought you might be better than she was.

Lucy: He knows the part by heart.

Enid: Better? Better or worse, just a chance to prove myself would have

been something. Instead, all I got was a firm no.

George: You should have seen your Mother on the stage. She had presence.

She had an air of glamour about her. Dance? She could dance the backside

off any of the others on the stage at that time. When I saw her for the first

time, I was gob-smacked. I couldn't take my eyes off her. And those legs of

hers. They were beautiful. They started from her toes and went right up to

her backside.

Enid: Dad! Language. Remember we have company.

Lucy: He wanted to play Hamlet when he was younger, but the part never

came up.

George: I thought she was the bee's-knees. Now she's got housemaids knees

and a figure like an orang-utan.

Enid: Dad, that's not true. Mum's still attractive for her age.

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George: So is an antique.

Lucy: Mum says he doesn't try harder enough. Too easy going.

Enid: Your mum always was pushy. She would have made it under different

circumstances. Women didn't have the same chances as men in those days. It

was hard to make it if you were a woman.

George: Your mother has always known what she wanted. These days she

would have found it easier. Without her, your father would be sweeping the

stage rather than acting on it.

Lucy: What bird is that? (Points to the sky.)

George: Swallow.

Lucy: Nice.

Enid: You and your birds.

George: They are lovely birds.

Lucy: Lovely way of flying.

Enid: A bird's a bird. What's all the fuss about?

George: Birds are as different as you and me.

Lucy: Beautiful wings.

Enid: Don't you start, Lucy. You're as bad as he is.

George :( Looking around the garden.)This is the best time of year. Smell those

flowers. Look at those colours. Hear the birds. This is life. This is the life.(Pause. Looks at Lucy beside him.) Don't waste your youth, Lucy. Don't let it

pass you by without noticing the beauty of it. I spent four years of my youth

in the bloody trenches. You havent such thing to prevent you enjoying your

life. You have beauty. You have intelligence. You have the freedom. Don't

waste it.

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Enid: Here endeth the first lesson.

Lucy: I won't, Grandad. I want to make the best of my youth.

George: Good girl.

Enid: Don't let that Jude get into your knickers.

Lucy: Auntie Enid!

Enid: Just be careful. I know what men are like.

George: She should do she's been out with enough of them.

Enid: Have to be choosy. Can't jump at the first one that comes a along. Menare like buses, there will always be another coming along just behind. And

some of them will be rubbish. Keep a wide berth of the wise-boys. All

hands.

Lucy: Jude's not like that.

George: I remember that Italian you had in tow years back. Poor chap.

Didn't know what hit him. Thought he'd been hit by a tornado. He was a bag

of nerves after going out with you for a month.

Enid: Wanted to turn me into a catholic.

George: More chance of turning you into a man.

Lucy: Jude's not very bad. I do like him.

Enid: His parents barely spoke a word of English. It was like being inside

the Vatican on a feast day. And his hands were everywhere. Thought I'd be

taken in by all that romantic jargon of his. Soon put him right. Catholic mybackside. All that Latin and incense.

Lucy: Jude wants to marry me one day.

George: He seemed quite a nice chap to me. Despite the fact his parents

chose the wrong side in the War. Nice hair. Lovely eyes.

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Enid: You should have gone out with him, then.

Lucy: He only kissed me. Only a kiss.

George: Where's your mother?

Enid: Getting dinner ready. (Gets up from the deckchair.)Best give her a hand.

Many hands make light work. (She walks off into the door of the house.)

George: Peace and quiet. Can't beat it.

Lucy: Nice.

George :( Softly.)Like being in the arms of a lovely woman.

Lucy :( Softly.) Or boy. (Pause. Silence.)

End of Scene Two.

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Act Two. Scene Three.

Early evening, after dinner. Enid and Lucy are sitting on an old sofa down stage. Georgeis sitting in an armchair to the left of Lucy holding a book of birds. Nellie is sitting to the

right of Enid. Enid is looking through a book of art. Upper stage left is a door. Upper

stage right a table and four chairs.George: That's a great tit, there. (Points to a page in the book. Lucy looks down at

it.)And that's a blue tit. See the difference?

Lucy: I can in the book, but not sure I'd notice out in the wilds.

George: And thats a coal tit.

Nellie: You and your tits, George.

Enid: And him a grown man. (Looks down at her book.)What do you think of

this for art, Mum? (Shows page to Nellie.)

Nellie: Call that art. I could do better than that with my eyes shut and a

paintbrush between my toes.

Enid: It's a Paul Klee.

Nellie: Paul Klee to you too. What's it supposed to be?

Enid: It's called Twittering Machine. I think it's a bird machine.

Nellie: Whatever next. You and your bird machine and Dad with his birds,

this place is becoming a blooming aviary.

George: And those are finches.

Lucy: Pretty colours.

Nellie: I'm not one for modern art. I like what I see to be something I can

recognise, not something from out of space or from some mad man's brain.

George: Bull finch that one.

Lucy: Nice.

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Nellie: I saw a picture once, in some gallery up the West End with your

father which right turned me off art altogether. I said to Dad, if that's art then

I'm a Dutch queen. (Looks closer at the page.)Dont know what you want to

look at all this arty stuff for. Its not for the likes of us. Those with education

might see something in it, but its just a load of rubbish to us.

Enid: Talk for yourself, Mum. I like art. Always have.

Nellie: Do my feet have bells on? You and art. Its because of some bloke in

that office of yours. That Mr.What's-his-name.

Enid: Ronald Hickmans his name and hes shown me the beauty of things.

Nellie: I bet he has. Theyre all the same. Show you something then expectyou to show them something in return.

Enid: Ronalds not like that. Hes genuine. He wants me to appreciate the

finer things in life.

George: Thats a spotted wagtail. Lovely bird. Brings tears to my eyes.

Lucy: And whats that one. (Lucy points at the page.)

George: Wren. Small bird. Wouldnt think theyd get so small would you?

Ive seen them in the country.

Enid: Art is a refection of life, Ronald says.

Nellie: Reflection of life my bleary eye. Hes having you on. Coming out

with all the soft soap.

Enid: Hes not at bit as you imagine him to be.

Nellie: I bet hes all toffee-nosed with a posh voice.

Enid: Hes nicely spoken and well educated.

Nellie: Then whats he want with the likes of you?

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Enid: Thanks, Mum. I really appreciate that. He doesnt have to be interested

in me, but he is. He sees things in me, which others cant. Says I have

potential.

Lucy: Clarence said birds were Gods messengers. He was funny like that.

He had me in stitches with some of the things he came out with.

George: Whos Clarence?

Lucy: Mr Serf at Ramsgate. Said his name was Clarence.

George: Clarence? More like a Cecil to me.

Lucy: Told me all sorts of funny stories.

George: Bit simple if you ask me. One card short of a pack.

Lucy: Whats that bird there? (Points to the page again.)

George: Woodpecker. Green woodpecker. You can hear them in the woods

in the country. I love the country. Wish I could retire there.

Lucy: Why is it called a woodpecker?

George: Because it pecks holes in trees.

Enid: Hes asked me out to the opera.

Nellie: Opera? You? Now Ive heard it all. All that highbrow stuff isnt for

you. Youll get bored with all that screaming in Italian, from fat old girls in

big dresses, with breasts like a cliff edge.

Enid: Its not as you say. Ronald says its part of our culture. I want to getbeyond the little world around here. I want to experience more. Experience

things that are new to me.

Nellie: It isnt your world, Enid. Its theirs. Its them and us.

Enid: You sound like a blooming communist.

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Nellie: No need to insult me with comments like that. Im just saying how

things are and always have been. Theres them and us. Rich and poor.

Highbrows and lowbrows.

Enid: And evermore shall be so?

Nellie: Yes, evermore shall be so. Nothing will ever change it.

George: What doesnt change stays as it is. Thats what they say.

Lucy: Things do change. Things are always changing. Nothing stays as it is.

If it did, Id stay a child and not have to put up with all the things that

women have to put up with. I could be a child until I died.

Enid: Art is an expression of experience. Ronald says so.

Nellie: Ronald can say what he likes. He sounds a right know all to me.

Enid: You havent met him to judge.

Nellie: Not likely to either if you have your way.

George: I knew this posh girl years ago when I had this chauffeur job out in

Kent. She was all airs and graces and what not, but she wasnt too posh to go

off to the stables with Kenny Pickles.

Nellie: Kenny Pickles? What May Pickles husband?

George: Yes, thats him.

Nellie: Poor girl she was. He led her a life he did. Those kids of hers were

always on the streets in the evenings scrounging food from friends or

neighbours. And theres him playing away from home with some posh tart.

Lucy: I was happy as a child.

George: He was always up to something or other. Lost his job in the end.

Nellie: Serves him right.

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Enid: You can meet him if you want to, providing you dont go and show

me up by putting him down.

George: He was killed in the blitz when he was out one night with some

woman in the East End.

Nellie: Good riddance to him. Poor old girl. I think she ended up in some

asylum somewhere and her kids were taken into care. What a life they had

those poor blighters.

Enid: Hes a nice man. Best Ive met yet. No hands everywhere. No tongues

down your throat nonsense.

Lucy: Jude says I need to grow up and see life as it really is.

Nellie: This Jude of yours needs a kick up the backside. You stay as you are,

Lucy, dear. Dont let him spoil you for others.

Enid: I want to see an opera. I want to see paintings in galleries. Im fed up

with a wrestling match in the back seat of the cinema. Im passed that. I

want better. (Pause.)

George: Do you remember that time when old Albert Duffy and his wife

were sitting in their kitchen and the siren went?

Nellie: Yes. And he says to her Come on old girl the sirens gone off! And

there she is looking under the table and everywhere. And he says What you

looking for? My false teeth, she says. And he says Theyre dropping

bombs, you silly cow, not mince pies.

Enid: Their budgie was still in its cage sitting on its perch even though the

house had been hit. I remember that well. It looked all dusty.

Lucy: Jude respects me. He wouldnt do anything I didnt want to do.

George: There were some sights to be seen those days. That Mrs Lumbecks

daughter was in the shop when a bomb went off near by. Only found her

hand. And that was across the road in the butchers shop window.

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Nellie: Put me off my meals for weeks that did.

Enid: Mrs Lumbecks husband was a teacher at our school before the War.

He was funny man. Had weird eyes. Thin as a pipe cleaner and a squeaky

voice.

Lucy: Kissings all right.

George: Funny life this. Dont know whats going to happen next. (Georgelooks at his book. Enid sits back and holds the book in her lap. Nellie closes her eyes.Lucy looks at Georges book cover absentmindedly. Silence.)

End of Scene Three.

Act Two. Scene Four.

Half hour later. All sitting as before, except Nellie as a photograph album and holds it on

her lap.

Nellie: And this here is your mum, Lucy. Standing by your grandads side,

looking as if shed stolen a bag of sweets from the shop.

George: What did you want to get that old album out for?

Nellie: To bring back memories.

George: I dont need my memories brought back, they havent been

anywhere.

Enid: Thats me on your lap, Mum. Looking all innocent and sweet.

Nellie: Probably filled your nappy.

Lucy: Do I look like my mum when she was my age?

Nellie: Not a lot. She was taller and had darker hair.

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George: Photographs never tell a lie, they say, but I think they can. I look

blooming happy in that photograph, but I know for a fact I wasnt, because I

had piles at the time and they were murder to sit on.

Enid: Trust Dad to raise the tone of our conversation and memories.

George: Just saying what it was like.

Lucy: Auntie Freda looks all-important there. (Looks at photograph as Enid takesthe album from Nellie.)

Enid: She still thinks shes Cock of the North.

Lucy: Cock of the North?

Enid: Its a saying, Lucy. Means she thinks shes important.

Nellie: I remember the first bloke she brought home. He had a squint and

one leg shorter than the other. I thought shed been to the circus and brought

home one of the clowns.

George: And he spoke with a lisp. Fair had us in fits when he asked for

Freda.

Enid: He was nice. Wasnt his fault he had a lisp.

Lucy: What happened to him?

Nellie: She gave him the elbow after a few months. I think he was taken

prisoner during the war. Dont think the Germans got much out of him.

George: That was his brother, Harry. Thats the one Freda had her eyes on,

but she landed up with Dick. Thats you, Nellie, with one of those dresses

you used to wear on the stage. Makes my lips water.

Nellie: Ill make your eyes water in a minute if you dont be quiet.

George: She was a real good dancer was our Nellie. Those legs could nearly

touch the ceiling.

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Nellie: Youll touch the ceiling in a minute. He was a blooming pest your

grandad was. Always outside the stage door with his bunch of flowers and

chocolates and dreaming eyes. Wouldnt take no for an answer. I felt sorry

for him standing there with that sad look on his face and those bloodhound

eyes.

George: I didnt have bloodhound eyes. It was the cold weather outside that

stage door. Fair froze my manhood away it did.

Enid: Talk about Romeo and Juliet. Makes me want to cry. (Pretends to cry.)

Lucy: Its romantic. I wish Jude were like that about me.

Nellie: He looked quite smart in uniform. Dressed up like a dogs dinner.One of Kitcheners Army with that nose of his.

George: Whats wrong with my nose?

Nellie: Too much of it. Like one of the Lost Tribe of Moses.

Enid: Its the Lost Tribe of Israel, Mum.

Nellie: Same thing in the end all got noses on them.

George: Its a family heirloom is this nose. Goes back generations.

Nellie: Glad it missed our girls. What would they do with a nose like that?

Lucy: Judes not romantic. He says hes a realist.

Enid: What he means is a mindless moron.

Nellie: Our girls follow after my side of the family. They have my looks.

George: If the girls had your looks, theyd all be unmarried and locked away

in some Anglican convent.

Nellie: Blooming cheek. I was well known for my beauty on the stage. Had

blokes lining up to go out with me.

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George: Yes and leaving there white sticks by the stage door as they hobbled

inside.

Enid: These young blokes think theyre Gods gift. Most of them have the

manners of pigs and the brains of an ant.

Lucy: Clarence was understanding. He knew when I was lonely and always

gave me sweets and a cuddle.

Nellie: You were the one, George who wouldnt take no for an answer.

Always there with your flowers and that broken-hearted look around your

eyes. Felt sorry for you I did. Poor blighter, I thought. Poor miserable

blighter.

George: I was young and impressionable.

Nellie: You were wet behind the ears and head over heels in love with me.

Enid: You be careful about these blokes, Lucy. They promise you the earth

and give you grief.

Lucy: Ill be careful, Auntie Enid. Ill be ever so careful.

George: I was led a stray. Taken in by your beauty and charm. And now

look at me.

Lucy: I wont let them do what I dont want to do.

Enid: Good for you, Lucy, good for you. Keep the buggers in check.

Nellie: Thats right, Lucy dear, Keep yourself for Mr. Right.

Lucy: I dont know a Mr.Right. Judes name is Lawrence.

Nellie: Never mind, just be careful and keep your legs crossed.

Enid: You should have been a social worker, Mum.

Lucy: Legs crossed?

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George: Wheres that bird book gone?

Enid: Youre sitting on it.

George: So I am. Silly old me. (Lifts book from beneath him and opens it.)

Nellie: Never spoke a truer word.

George: Look at the kettle calling the pot black.

Lucy: Why have I to cross my legs?

Enid: Better to keep your virtue.

George: This here is a house marten. (Points to the page.)

Lucy: My virtue?

Enid: Your purity, Lucy.

Nellie: Yes your maidenhood.

George: This here house marten has a lovely wing.

Nellie: Keep them at bay young Lucy until youre ready to marry.

George: And of course, here, the song thrush. (Points at the page again.)

Beautiful singer.

Enid: Talking about purity. Do you remember during the War when that

German plane machine-gunned up Peckham Rye Lane and then went off and

shot those children in the school playground?

Nellie: Dont remind me, Enid. That was a sad day for many a parent thatwas round here. Bloody Germans. Innocent little mites hadnt done anyone

any harm. Playing out in their lunch hour. Shot them as if they were his

bloody enemy. (Gets a handkerchief from her dress pocket and wipes her nose and

eyes.) My friend Mary lost her little boy there. Can still see her now, poor

cow. Shaking like a leaf, she was. Havent seen anyone cry as she cried that

day.

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George: That was a black day round here.

Enid: I was away that day with stomach pains. Do you remember, Mum?

Nellie: Ive never forgotten that. You could have been one of those.

Lucy: Sounds awful.

George: Was awful.

Nellie: Bloody awful.

Enid: My best friend, Ann died. (Pause. Silence. George looks down at his book of

birds. Nellie wipes her eyes again. Enid sighs deeply. Lucy stares at her feet.)

George: Magpies are the ones you have to watch. They steal shiny objects.

Nellie: The things people do in wartime. The things we saw, George.

Enid: Time passes. People move on. Now the Germans are our friends so

they say.

Nellie: I wont forget them poor little mites.

Lucy: Dad says war makes people do things they would never do otherwise.

Nellie: All those little coffins.

George: Lovely wings, black and white.

Enid: War is one of those things that come like an illness. It affects

everybody in some way or other.

George: Must we talk of war? Birds are more peaceful.

Nellie: That school is etched in my memory for life. Poor little kids. (Pause.All become silent. George looks at his book. Nellie sniffs and wipes her eyes. Enid stares

at the photograph album and Lucy stares at the cover of Georges book in deep

t End Of Scene Four.

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Act Two. Scene Five.

Late evening. All books and albums have been put away. All sit where they were

previously.

George: And Sally wore that dress which none of her sisters would want toborrow even if she threw in a free ticket to the theatre with Clark Gable.

Enid: Sallys dress sense is unique.

Nellie: Shes her own person. She doesnt go in for fashion.

Enid: Only old fashion.

Lucy: Mum asked me to ask you if I could stay the night. I would havementioned it before but I was too shy to.

Nellie: Should have said before, Lucy.

George: Shy of us? Were family. No need to be shy of us.

Enid: Sallys old rooms ready. Beds made and aired.

Nellie: Course you can stay. Should have asked. Silly girl. Too shy thats

your problem.

George: Nothing wrong is there?

Nellie: No problem we can help you with is there?

Lucy: No, nothing wrong. Just want to stay until tomorrow evening.

Enid: You would say if something was wrong wouldnt you?

Lucy: Yes. Nothings wrong. Im all right.

Nellie: Good. Dont mind you staying, do we, George?

George: Stay as long as you like. We dont mind. Fresh blood amongst us.

Keeps us young.

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Enid: Yes, Sallys rooms ready.

Nellie: Remember young Sallys first boyfriend?

George: Yes, shy as a nun in a strip club.

Enid: He was nice he was. Had lovely eyes.

Nellie: Hed stand outside for ages before getting up enough courage to

knock at the door. Talk about tongue-tied. He spoke so softly youd need a

hearing aid to hear the bugger. (Pause.)He was a nice boy though. Need more

like him in the world. Might make it a better place. He and Sally would have

made a good pair. Dont know why she never went out with him after that

weekend away.

George: Might have had something to with his mother going with them.

Enid: Shed not let them go alone to Margate.

Nellie: We would have let our Sally go alone.

Enid: Yes because you trusted her to do nothing she shouldnt do.

Lucy: Im looking forward to going to Ramsgate again. I wonder if Clarence

has changed much?

George: Sallys a good girl. Shed never do what she felt to be wrong, not

even if the lad had tried it on.

Nellie: Hed not try on anything on. He was too shy to knock at the door let

alone try anything on with Sally. It took him a few weeks to kiss her.

Lucy: Ive changed.

George: Elsies another who knew what was what. A good girl with her head

screwed on right.

Enid: I cant wait for you to you get to me. (Smiles.)

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Nellie: You were a right tearaway. Out all hours. Blokes knocking at the

door for you with gifts and sweet words and still you kept them waiting.

Enid: Never could see much in that lot. All too shortsighted. Too ordinary.

Nellie: Whom did you expect? Prince blooming Charming?Lucy: Fifteen now. Not nine anymore. Not a girl anymore.

George: Elsie knew what she wanted. She wanted a better life.

Nellie: You were always a little menace.

Enid: Cant say I noticed it at the time. Now I do. I was a bitch.

Nellie: Too right you were.

Lucy: I hope I get my old room again.

George: Proud of my girls I am. Fine bunch. Fine girls. A man can be proud

of them.

Nellie: You were more trouble then all the others put together.

Enid: I was I know. However, that was then, this is now, and here I am

wanting something better and wanting to be better.

Nellie: Well dont aim to high and come down with a crash. Be yourself my

girl, be yourself.

George: Yes, be what you are. Be what you are and not what others think

you should be.

Lucy: Nice room. Clarence said it was a nice room. Said I was a nice girltoo.

Enid: I want what is out there in the world. I want culture and art. I want a

husband who respects me and loves me for myself.

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Nellie: Hope you get what you want, but dont aim too high. Its along way

down to earth from the clouds.

Enid: I want only what I feel is mine to have. I dont want cloud nine. (Pause.

Looks at Lucy. She smiles s at her.)You look tired, Lucy. Best go to bed. Ill

show you the way. (Lucy nods and rises from the sofa. Enid rises too and both walkupper stage door.)

Lucy: Night, Nan. Night, Grandad.

Nellie: Night, night, dear, sleep well.

George: Night, night, Lucy.

Enid: See you later. (Both Lucy and Enid leave the room.)

George: Good girl she is.

Nellie: Bit quiet, but good.

George: Ramsgate seems the choice this year. See the old place again.

Nellie: See the old place and familiar faces. Strange bloke that Serf. Bit

touched, but harmless. Shes all right. Shes got her head on straight.

George: Bit of a dragon she is, but hes few slices short of a loaf.

Nellie: Ramsgate it is.

George: Lovely seabirds. Lovely seabirds. (Pause. George sits and looks at thefloor. Nellie looks at George, smiles softly, and shakes her head. Silence.)

End of Act Two and Scene Five.

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Can You Hear Me Mother

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