CADET instrustinSLOUCH...to be a spy. Dear Editor, The Battalion, Ping, ping, ping! Thet’s the way...
1
Page 2 THE BATTALION College Station, Texas Thursday, July 14, 19GG Sound Off CADET SLOUCH “I’ve given this course all I had! I’ve laughed at his jokes, asked flattering questions, had two office visits, sat on th’ front row—I’ve even considered studying for th’ final!” To Marry Or Not! That’s A Question By HERKY KILLINGSWORTH A few days ago I happened to go to one of those movies that so glamorized marriage that 1 left determined to take the vows myself. It was one of those for- eign movies where Elke Sommer and Sophia Loren give happiness to some lucky husband for the rest of his life. I was hooked and looked both left and light for suitable ma- terial to spend the rest of my life. On the way back to the campus I happened into the Col- lege View area where I was shocked out of my idealistic ideas. One hubby was hard at work pushing a lawn mower; another was hanging out enough laundry to fill out four laundry slips; in front of one house ran 17 squeal- ing brats, nine of which wg^g. crying an.! the other eight fight- ing over the one swing which hung in an old dead tree. The shock was too much. I looked aghast much as I imagine Edgar Allen Poe looked when he first encountered the House of Usher. I fled from the scene swearing never to be married while there was an ounce of blood left in my veins. Reaching my dorm I said a solemn prayer for the hopeless husbands of the world, but began to reconsider after entering my room and see- ing the past two weeks’ laundry on the back of a chair along with various items of trash, such as textbooks, lying about the room. I pondered. Maybe a wife wasn’t such a bad idea. With lunch time approaching and the thought of another messhall meal entered my mind, I felt that in- deed marriage might be a good thing The growling of my stom- ach further induced me into thoughts of returning every night to a cute little wife who had a hot meal waiting. I was sold, and once again began my diligent search for a spouse. But wait! In placing a Play- boy magazine aside to find my bed, I catch a glance at what could be waiting foi- the man- about-town who has yet to marry. Would it be worth the wait? Could I ever reach that smooth- ness that makes that man about town? Of course I could, right after I make that first million. Forget about marriage. Why settle for one female when there’s a whole world of women just waiting to be picked off of that great money tree in the sky. ' N’o\^ 1 wa\<‘ detdrtuihed, No. fancy talking, sweet smelling female for me. Let the other suckers take those fatal vows. Lookout world, here I come! Lookout, a pair of feline fig- ures pass my window. My bache- lor dreams snap, and utter con- fusion enters my mind. Should I marry or should I? Should I begin my search for a mate today or wait until tomorrow? In com- plete turmoil I now decide to enter a male convent. Or better yet I shall return to the movie where the mess began. Maybe that will straighten me out. Once more inside the movie I find that a new movie has hit town, a James Bond thriller. Ex- citedly I watch his every action. At the end, my confusion was solved. Forget about marriage, forget about bachelorhood. I want to be a spy. Dear Editor, The Battalion, Ping, ping, ping! Thet’s the way my little ole heart went aftern I’s read thet letter last week from Missy Prissy. Does you reely thinks she likes me. Gee, I hope so. I ain’t never be- fore had no one to like me ex- ceptin’ my Ma ’n my Pa, ’n Aunt Bess every once in a wile. But they’s don’t count cause they’s kinfolks ’n are dootifly supposed to like me. ■Missy Prissy sez I’s terrific. Shucks, I’s jest doin’ whut comes naturally. She’s also sed thet’s shes “ape” over me, what- ever thet means. I reckun thet’s one of them typergraphical arrows the paper makes once in a wile for I’s can only reckun it’s sup- pose to be “date.” She went date over me. I’s sure would like to meet this girl and everyone knows I’s try- ing. Why even those three jun- iors in my dorm is helpin’ me look. We’s gone over every map of Texas tryin’ to fine Tunis ’n I still ain’t fines it yet. Thet pro- bly means she comes from a small town like Sneedville where I’s spent my whole life. She’s one of my own kind. And about thet box of hers. I’s written there three times allready but my letters allways comes back to me. I’s jest can’t under- stand it. It could be another of those typergraphical arrows but more likely its jest a mistake on the part of the post guys. Whut I can’t understand is why she calls me a “country hick.” I’s in. the big city now and goin’ to a big LTniversity or College or whutever it is. I’s realize thet I use to have a little country in me but I’s allways owned it up to heritage and somethin’ by Byo- logy teacher calls geens, not germs but geens. Thet’s whut your Ma gives you through a oom- biblical card allthough I’s can’t for the life of me remember get- tin’ it. Anyhow, back to Missy Prissy. I hopes she don’t get away for I’s cornin’ sometime in the future. With those three juniors helpin’ I me it shan’t be long befoi-e Tunis j is found. Why we’s thinkin’ of gettin’ out the Missin’ People De- j partment Store to help us, or ; Presenting- CHARLIE WALKER Famous Recording Artist Star Of The Grand Ole Opry At The Lakeview Chib Also Lou Rochelle and the Country Gentlemen Big Show & Dance Friday, July 15 8 - 12 p. m. Admission — $2.50 L- University Cleaners (Formerly Loupot’s Cleaners) 112 N. Main St. Phone 846-6615 North Gate Dry Cleaning La u ndry Alterations Ernest Sebesta ’39 THE BATTALION Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the student writers only. The Battalion is a non tax-supported non- profit, self-supporting educational enter- prise edited and operated by students as a university and community newspaper. The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous oriirin published herein. Itights of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved. Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas. Members of the Student Publications Board are: Joe Buset; chairman ; Dr. David Bowers, College of Liberal Arts ; Dr. Kobert A. Clark, College of Geosciences ; Dr. Frank A. Mc- Donald, College of Science; Dr. J. G. McGuire, College of Kngineering; Dr. Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinary Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agriculture. News contributions may be made by telephoning 846-6618 or 846-4910 or at the editorial office. Room 4, YMCA Building. For advertising or delivery call 846-6416. iptions school Mail subscriptions are $3.50 per semester; year; $6.50 per full year. All subscriptions sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on requ< The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas. $6 per subject to 2% nest. Address: The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, September through cho May, and once a week during summer school. MEMBER The Associated Press, Texas Press Association Inc., New York City. nally Chica: go, Los Angeles and San Francisco. EDITOR . Editorial Assistants Photographer GERALD GARCIA Herky Killingsworth, John Hotard, Jim Butler, Tim Lane Herky Killingsworth somethin’ like thet. Thet’s one of the juniors idea. I’s also looking for a Twu on the map but thet don’t seem to be there ether. Is it close to A&M or Houston? They’s jest don’t make maps like they use to. Anyhow I’s got to go ’n continue my lookin’. Also I thinks I’s goin’ to have to study a little for my finals or it’ll be finals for me (thet’s a joke, finals for me). Adios for now. Thet means good night in English. Sincerely, Cyric Hayseed ’70 dere etiture The Batalun You has shore made me feel et home this here semustur by lett’in thet brillunt ole riter sound off in yore paper. He has got the stile i like and it shore is lots easier to reed his stuff, i jist thot mebe you culd use anuther riter like him since he has a stile simulur to mine, i ain’t had too much sperience at ritin, but it don’t take no genus to see he has got whut it takes to make yore papur. Do you thank you culd use an- uther staff member with a simulur stile to his’un. i git round the kampus too and i have saw a few thanks thet he’s missin. i have saw this here gurl he has in his 6;o0 klas and it don’t take no genus to see he ain’t too gud at undercuver wurk. like rite off i knowed she wus married, she jist don’t ware no rang. You see, she’s tryin to fool guys like him into askin fer a date so she kin brag to her husbin about how them pore aggis is so lonesum and needs to raise there egos (i lurned this here is sycologie). it means whuts inside thet nobudy else kin see, but you kin feel, sorta like when you spel a wurd kerect and how gud it makes you feel, or when i gets this rere letter printed in yore papur. I shore am anxus to meet you and talk about goin to wurk fer you. I have uncovered sum reel instrustin facks sine i have been on this here kampus, like you kin git a gooder meal in any kaffa around than you kin git at sibee- ser, fur lots less muney. i ain’t no millunares sun and i knows how to make a dollur go fer’um some stupid guys i have saw eat- in three meals a day there. Sum- thin shuld be investurgated about them high prices. (p.s. i aint nere as old as cyric either, i noticed he is ’70.) everlovin yores, elide ketchup, ’40 Charles F. Johnson ’62 *** College Master Representative Fidelity Union Life 846-8228 We Need USED BOOKS The Aggie’s are expecting us to supply them with as many used hooks as possible. We have contacted several college stores and have bought every used book we can get to meet this demand. If you have any used books I would sure appre- ciate an opportunity to buy them; if I’m going to give my money away I would rather give it to good Aggies. Remember Loupot's North Gate ! Your Safety is Our Business at Firestone Travel in comfort with this AIR-COOL CUSHION 88° iresfdtt Vacation Travel Values • Full size for extra comfort • Plastic grid... no snagging Limit 2 per customer • Choice of colors Additional $1.69 each — NO MONEY DOWN! Take months to pay...make one low monthly payment on all merchandise and car services. CHARGE MONTHLY PAYMENT $50.00 75.00 95 00 $5 per month 7 per month 9 per month ,\ Keep clothes neat and clean with ° SUIT & DRESS BAGS L 77 • Heavy gauge vinyl with embossed finish • Rugged construction for long-iasting use Lin^ 2 Per customer Additional bags $1.29 each BRAKES RELINED Save wear and tear on your tires...get a FRONT END ALIGNMENT! Our Mechanics use the latest precision equipment We readjust easier and camber to manufacturer's oritimal KjxvifieationH. a, 0n|v 6 Most American Cars Parts extra if needed Don't take chances with Bad Brakes... HAVE YOUR FAST "SAME DAY" SERVICE Your choice of 3 Firestone Bonded Brake Linings GOOD BETTER BEST 14 GUARANTEED 10,000 MILES OR ONE YEAR 19 GUARANTEED 20,000 MILES OR TWO YEARS 24 GUARANTEED 30,000 MILES OR THREE YEARS COMPLETE SET OFFER! Tire$foti* DELUXE CHAMPION NEW TREADS SmtAOS DN SOUND TIM BODIES OR ON YOUR OWN TIRES ANY SIZE WHITEWALLS or Blackwalls Prici’s an' installed exchange for Ford, Chevrolet, Dodge, Plymouth and American compacts. Other models slightly higher. GUARANTEED QUALITY Wa guarantee our brake relining service for the specified number of miles or years from date of instal- Our expert mechanics do all this work; • Replace linings anrl shoes with Firestone Bonded Linings. • Adjust brakes for full contact. • Inspect drums, hydraulic sys- tem, return springs and seals. lation, whichever comes first. Ad- justment prorated on mileage and based on prices current at time of adjustment. When your wheel* BOUNCE OFF THE ROAD you can't control your car wmm See us for top quality DELCO SHOCK ABSORBERS FREE 60-DAY TRIAL RIDE 4949 Don’t gamble with safety. Have a set of Delco - Shock-Absorbers installed in just 30 minutes. Try them for 60 days. If you're not satisfied return them for a full refund and rein- stallation of your old shocks. if your battery 1$ two years old it can fail without warning and leave you stranded. Plus 32tf to per tire Fed. excise tax depending on size, sales tax and 4 trade in tires ol same size ott your car NO MONEY DOWN Pay only ‘5 per month Famous make BATTERIES C TRADE-IN O ALLOWANCE toward the purchase of a new Firestone or Delco battery. Trade now! See us for LOW PRICES on all your vacation travel needs! FIRESTONE STORES 901 South College Ave. HOURS 8:00 A. M. TO 6:00 P. M. Phone 822-0139 Bryan, Texas
Transcript of CADET instrustinSLOUCH...to be a spy. Dear Editor, The Battalion, Ping, ping, ping! Thet’s the way...
Page 2THE BATTALION
College Station, Texas Thursday, July 14, 19GG Sound OffCADET SLOUCH
“I’ve given this course all I had! I’ve laughed at his jokes, asked flattering questions, had two office visits, sat on th’ front row—I’ve even considered studying for th’ final!”
To Marry Or Not! That’s A Question
By HERKY KILLINGSWORTHA few days ago I happened to
go to one of those movies that so glamorized marriage that 1 left determined to take the vows myself. It was one of those foreign movies where Elke Sommer and Sophia Loren give happiness to some lucky husband for the rest of his life.
I was hooked and looked both left and light for suitable material to spend the rest of my life. On the way back to the campus I happened into the College View area where I was shocked out of my idealistic ideas. One hubby was hard at work pushing a lawn mower; another was hanging out enough laundry to fill out four laundry slips; in front of one house ran 17 squealing brats, nine of which wg^g. crying an.! the other eight fighting over the one swing which hung in an old dead tree.
The shock was too much. I looked aghast much as I imagine Edgar Allen Poe looked when he first encountered the House of Usher. I fled from the scene swearing never to be married while there was an ounce of blood left in my veins. Reaching my dorm I said a solemn prayer for the hopeless husbands of the world, but began to reconsider after entering my room and seeing the past two weeks’ laundry on the back of a chair along with various items of trash, such as textbooks, lying about the room.
I pondered. Maybe a wife wasn’t such a bad idea. With lunch time approaching and the thought of another messhall meal entered my mind, I felt that in
deed marriage might be a good thing The growling of my stomach further induced me into thoughts of returning every night to a cute little wife who had a hot meal waiting. I was sold, and once again began my diligent search for a spouse.
But wait! In placing a Playboy magazine aside to find my bed, I catch a glance at what could be waiting foi- the man- about-town who has yet to marry. Would it be worth the wait? Could I ever reach that smoothness that makes that man about town? Of course I could, right after I make that first million. Forget about marriage. Why settle for one female when there’s a whole world of women just waiting to be picked off of that great money tree in the sky.
' N’o\^ 1 wa\<‘ detdrtuihed, No.fancy talking, sweet smelling female for me. Let the other suckers take those fatal vows. Lookout world, here I come!
Lookout, a pair of feline figures pass my window. My bachelor dreams snap, and utter confusion enters my mind. Should I marry or should I? Should I begin my search for a mate today or wait until tomorrow? In complete turmoil I now decide to enter a male convent. Or better yet I shall return to the movie where the mess began. Maybe that will straighten me out.
Once more inside the movie I find that a new movie has hit town, a James Bond thriller. Excitedly I watch his every action. At the end, my confusion was solved. Forget about marriage, forget about bachelorhood. I want to be a spy.
Dear Editor,The Battalion,
Ping, ping, ping! Thet’s the way my little ole heart went aftern I’s read thet letter last week from Missy Prissy. Does you reely thinks she likes me. Gee, I hope so. I ain’t never before had no one to like me exceptin’ my Ma ’n my Pa, ’n Aunt Bess every once in a wile. But they’s don’t count cause they’s kinfolks ’n are dootifly supposed to like me.
■Missy Prissy sez I’s terrific. Shucks, I’s jest doin’ whut comes naturally. She’s also sed thet’s shes “ape” over me, whatever thet means. I reckun thet’s one of them typergraphical arrows the paper makes once in a wile for I’s can only reckun it’s suppose to be “date.” She went date over me.
I’s sure would like to meet this girl and everyone knows I’s trying. Why even those three juniors in my dorm is helpin’ me look. We’s gone over every map of Texas tryin’ to fine Tunis ’n I still ain’t fines it yet. Thet pro- bly means she comes from a small town like Sneedville where I’s spent my whole life. She’s one of my own kind.
And about thet box of hers. I’s written there three times allready but my letters allways comes back to me. I’s jest can’t understand it. It could be another of those typergraphical arrows but more likely its jest a mistake on the part of the post guys.
Whut I can’t understand is why she calls me a “country hick.” I’s in. the big city now and goin’ to a big LTniversity or College or whutever it is. I’s realize thet I use to have a little country in me but I’s allways owned it up to heritage and somethin’ by Byo- logy teacher calls geens, not germs but geens. Thet’s whut your Ma gives you through a oom- biblical card allthough I’s can’t for the life of me remember get- tin’ it.
Anyhow, back to Missy Prissy.I hopes she don’t get away for I’s cornin’ sometime in the future. With those three juniors helpin’ I me it shan’t be long befoi-e Tunis j is found. Why we’s thinkin’ of gettin’ out the Missin’ People De- j partment Store to help us, or ;
Presenting-
CHARLIE WALKERFamous Recording
ArtistStar Of The
Grand Ole Opry
At The
Lakeview Chib
Also
Lou Rochelle and the Country Gentlemen
Big Show & Dance
Friday, July 158 - 12 p. m.
Admission — $2.50L-
University Cleaners(Formerly Loupot’s Cleaners)
112 N. Main St. Phone 846-6615North Gate
Dry Cleaning
La u ndry
Alterations
Ernest Sebesta ’39
THE BATTALIONOpinions expressed in The Battalion
are those of the student writers only. The Battalion is a non tax-supported nonprofit, self-supporting educational enterprise edited and operated by students as a university and community newspaper.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous oriirin published herein. Itights of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas.
Members of the Student Publications Board are: Joe Buset; chairman ; Dr. David Bowers, College of Liberal Arts ; Dr. Kobert A. Clark, College of Geosciences ; Dr. Frank A. McDonald, College of Science; Dr. J. G. McGuire, College of Kngineering; Dr. Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinary Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agriculture.
News contributions may be made by telephoning 846-6618 or 846-4910 or at the editorial office. Room 4, YMCA Building. For advertising or delivery call 846-6416.
iptionsschoolMail subscriptions are $3.50 per semester;
year; $6.50 per full year. All subscriptions sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on requ<The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas.
$6 per subject to 2% nest. Address:
The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, September through
choMay, and once a week during summer school.
MEMBERThe Associated Press, Texas Press Association
Inc., New York City.nallyChica:go, Los Angeles and San Francisco.
EDITOR .
Editorial Assistants
Photographer
GERALD GARCIA
Herky Killingsworth, John Hotard,
Jim Butler, Tim Lane
Herky Killingsworth
somethin’ like thet. Thet’s one of the juniors idea.
I’s also looking for a Twu on the map but thet don’t seem to be there ether. Is it close to A&M or Houston? They’s jest don’t make maps like they use to.
Anyhow I’s got to go ’n continue my lookin’. Also I thinks I’s goin’ to have to study a little for my finals or it’ll be finals for me (thet’s a joke, finals for me).
Adios for now. Thet means good night in English.
Sincerely,Cyric Hayseed ’70★ ★ ★
dere etiture The Batalun
You has shore made me feel et home this here semustur by lett’in thet brillunt ole riter sound off in yore paper. He has got the stile i like and it shore is lots easier to reed his stuff, i jist thot mebe you culd use anuther riter like him since he has a stile simulur to mine, i ain’t had too much sperience at ritin, but it don’t take no genus to see he has got whut it takes to make yore papur.
Do you thank you culd use anuther staff member with a simulur stile to his’un. i git round the kampus too and i have saw a few thanks thet he’s missin. i have saw this here gurl he has in his 6;o0 klas and it don’t take no genus to see he ain’t too gud at undercuver wurk. like rite off i knowed she wus married, she jist don’t ware no rang. You see, she’s tryin to fool guys like him into askin fer a date so she kin brag to her husbin about how them pore aggis is so lonesum and needs to raise there egos (i lurned this here is sycologie). it means whuts inside thet nobudy else kin see, but you kin feel, sorta like when you spel a wurd kerect and how gud it makes you feel, or when i gets this rere letter printed in yore papur.
I shore am anxus to meet you and talk about goin to wurk fer you. I have uncovered sum reel instrustin facks sine i have been on this here kampus, like you kin git a gooder meal in any kaffa around than you kin git at sibee- ser, fur lots less muney. i ain’t no millunares sun and i knows
how to make a dollur go fer’um some stupid guys i have saw eat- in three meals a day there. Sum- thin shuld be investurgated about them high prices. (p.s. i aint nere as old as cyric either, i noticed he is ’70.)
everlovin yores,elide ketchup, ’40
Charles F. Johnson ’62
*** College Master Representative
Fidelity Union Life 846-8228
We NeedUSED BOOKS
The Aggie’s are expecting us to supply them with as many used hooks as possible.We have contacted several college stores and have bought every used book we can get to meet this demand.
If you have any used books I would sure appreciate an opportunity to buy them; if I’m going to give my money away I would rather give it to good Aggies.
Remember Loupot's North Gate
!Your Safety is Our Business at Firestone
Travel in comfort with this
AIR-COOL CUSHION88°iresfdtt
Vacation Travel Values
• Full size for extra comfort
• Plastic grid...no snagging Limit 2 per customer
• Choice of colors Additional $1.69 each
—
NO MONEY DOWN!Take months to pay...make one low monthly payment on all merchandise and car services.
CHARGE MONTHLY PAYMENT
$50.0075.0095 00
$5 per month7 per month9 per month
,\
Keep clothes neat and clean with
° SUIT & DRESS BAGS
L
77• Heavy gauge vinyl with embossed finish
• Rugged construction for long-iasting use Lin^ 2 Per customer
Additional bags $1.29 each
BRAKES RELINEDSave wear and tear on your tires...get a
FRONT END ALIGNMENT!Our Mechanics use the latest
precision equipmentWe readjust easier and camber to
manufacturer's oritimal KjxvifieationH.
a, 0n|v 6 MostAmerican
Cars
Parts extra if needed
Don't take chances with Bad Brakes...HAVE YOURFAST "SAME DAY" SERVICEYour choice of 3 Firestone Bonded Brake Linings
GOOD BETTER BEST
14GUARANTEED 10,000 MILES OR ONE YEAR
19GUARANTEED 20,000 MILES
OR TWO YEARS
24GUARANTEED 30,000 MILES
OR THREE YEARS
COMPLETE SET OFFER!Tire$foti*DELUXE CHAMPION
NEW TREADSSmtAOS DN SOUND TIM BODIES OR ON YOUR OWN TIRES
ANY SIZEWHITEWALLS or Blackwalls
Prici’s an' installed exchange for Ford, Chevrolet, Dodge, Plymouth and American compacts. Other models slightly higher.
GUARANTEED QUALITYWa guarantee our brake relining service for the specified number of miles or years from date of instal-
Our expert mechanics do all this work;
• Replace linings anrl shoes with Firestone Bonded Linings.
• Adjust brakes for full contact.• Inspect drums, hydraulic system, return springs and seals.
lation, whichever comes first. Adjustment prorated on mileage and based on prices current at time of adjustment.
When your wheel*BOUNCE OFF THE ROAD
you can't control your carwmmSee us for top quality DELCO
SHOCK ABSORBERSFREE 60-DAY TRIAL RIDE
4949
Don’t gamble with safety. Have a set of Delco - Shock-Absorbers installed in just 30 minutes. Try them for 60 days. If you're not satisfied return them for a full refund and reinstallation of your old shocks.
if your battery 1$ two years old it can fail without warning and leave you stranded.
Plus 32tf to per tire Fed. excise tax depending on size, sales tax and 4 trade in tires ol same size ott your car
NO MONEY DOWN Pay only ‘5 per month
Famous makeBATTERIESC TRADE-IN O ALLOWANCE
toward the purchase of a new Firestone or Delco battery. Trade now!
See us for LOW PRICES on all your vacation travel needs!
FIRESTONE STORES901 South College Ave. HOURS 8:00 A. M. TO 6:00 P. M. Phone 822-0139 Bryan, Texas
