Volume 1, Issue 20 A Publication of the Thanet and District Caledonian Society Winter 2015

L ast year’s St Andrew’s Night was a resounding success despite a lower

than normal turnout of 49 members and friends. Our speakers for the

evening commenced with Mr Dick Barford, Chairman of KASS, Kent Asso-

ciation of Scottish Societies, KASS, who made much of the Society’s annual social

functions and holidays before relating the history of St Andrew. This was followed

by new member Michael Loveday who gave the toast to the Society. Mike also

commented on the friendliness he found within the Society and of his recent Cale-

donian Adventure holiday to Scotland

with the Society.

The Queens Hall at Margate Winter

Gardens was tastefully decorated and

those who missed the event also missed

a wonderful dinner of Cock-a-leekie

Soup, Haggis, Tatties and Neaps, Roast Beef, Yorkshire Pudding, Roast Potatoes,

Broccoli, Carrots and to finish Raspberry Bavarois, coffee and mints.

New band ‘Saltire’ led by Accordionist Michelle McDermott, with Derek Goodwin

on drums and Ed Pickering on fiddle, ably provided the music for the evening. The

President passed on the Society’s thanks to the Winter Gardens staff for a lovely

meal and pleasant pre Christmas surroundings. ¤

President Don Macpherson with guests Dick Barford - Chairman

of KASS with his good lady, Ester.

Australian lass Nanette Murphy-Radeck, with her guest Richard

Fowler, gave a well received Response from the Lassies.

Past vice president Jim Connell had the honour of delivering the

Immortal Memory and was accompanied by his good lady Shirley.

Below: Member Sam Matsubura gave the Toast to the Lassies and

was accompanied by his good lady Stella.

New member Michael Loveday gave the Toast to the Society

and was accompanied by Mrs Barbara Shepherd.

Water O’ Life

Don’t forget to look out for de-tails of our first whisky tasting event to be held in the new con-servatory of the Pavilion on the Sands on 20th May 2016. Malt whiskies, Cream liqueurs and Irn-Bru to cover all tastes will be offered so make sure you book a taxi. Planning is well under way and the cost will include a hot supper.

M ore than 90 members and friends turned up to enjoy another fine Burns

Night at Margate Winter Gardens this year. President Don Macpherson welcomed principle guests Past Vice President Jim

Connell who delivered the Immortal Memory toast with society member Sam Matsubura

Toasting the Lassies and Canterbury teacher Nanette Murphy-Radeck giving us an Austra-

lian Lassie’s response to the lads. Jim covered all the bases in true Immortal Memory style reminding us of Burns sparse

upbringing, his marriage, women, works and of course his death with over 10,000 people

attending his funeral. While Sam was gentler on the lassies, Nanette in true ‘Sheila’ style

let the lads know exactly where they stood and no messing. Comments like : “Strike me pink, I wouldn't be seen dead with that bloke! He's a useless lump of wood! Mad as a cut

snake....as useful as a fly-screen door on a bloody submarine”... and “He can park his slip-

pers under my bed any day”...went down very well with the lassies attending and the lads

couldn't help laughing as well. Nanette concluded with a verse from Burns ‘O, Saw ye Bonie Lesley’ and received a well deserved round of applause from all present.

The President thanked his

guests and all present for at-

tending, our new band, Saltire, and to the Winter Gar-

dens for a wonderful evening.

New Scottish dance band Saltire made an impressive start at our St Andrew’s night

Celebration Dinner & Dance and Burns Night at the Winter Gardens.

Michelle McDermott is the band’s leader with band members Ed Pickering on

Fiddle and Derek Goodwin on drums.

New Band ‘Saltire’ Make Their Debut

BURNS NIGHT

The reason why are Scotsmen such

good golfers, is because they know

that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last!!

Charity Military Whist Drive The golf section of the Caledonian

Society held a Military Whist after-noon at North Foreland Golf Club on

Thursday 22nd October. This was held

in place of a bridge evening as Military whist has become

quite popular at the Golf Club.

Eleven tables participated and we had twenty rounds of whist.

Half way through the rounds, afternoon tea was served which

was very enjoyable. The winning team members led by She-

lagh Norvill each won a bottle of wine. A raffle was held and the total raised for the afternoon was £259. This will be do-

nated to three charities, Air Ambulance, Riding for the Dis-

abled and Pilgrim's Hospice.

Everyone had a very enjoyable afternoon.

AGM * * * * * * * * * * *

19 members attended, with 18 apolo-

gies, the society's two AGM’s which

were held in the Pierremont Commu-

nity Hall, Broadstairs on Wednesday

25th March 2015. The golf section held theirs first with the

previously circulated minutes of the 2014

meeting being approved and signed by

Captain John Reid.

There were no matters arising. The Cap-

tain gave his report thanking Vice Cap-

tain Richard Baker for his support and in

particular for organising the Foxhills holiday. Thanks were also given to Rich-

ard West for managing the pennies and

Secretary Sue Saunders and the remain-

der of the team namely Mary Rose, Pat

Davies, Leona Steenhuis and Mike Sum-

mers. Mike Loveday was warmly wel-

comed onto the Committee. It had been

an enjoyable and successful year, the results of which are reported in the Cap-

tain’s log.

We managed to give £150 to each of the

Air Ambulance, Riding for the Disabled

and the Hospice, mainly due to the ef-

forts of Sue Saunders and her Bridge

Evening Captain John Reid and the Golf Section

Officers were re-elected as were the

Committee. Proposed by Gerry Carter

and seconded by Frank Howe.

Bob Hope and Richard Baker were

elected as auditors, as proposed by Mike

Summers and seconded by Gerry Carter.

Under AOB there was discussion on the poor support for the Marie Ferrier tray.

This will be looked at by the Committee.

Dr Iain Shaw thought that if any signifi-

cant changes were to be made they

should be imparted to Charlie Ferrier

who gave the tray in memory of his wife.

The golf section AGM closed at 19.40

hrs. The main Society AGM then followed

and was conducted by Society President

Don Macpherson. The existing commit-

tee of Vice President David Walker,

Treasurer John Campbell, Secretary

Anne Campbell, Membership Secretary

Mary Rose and committee members

Dina Macpherson, David Taylor, John Reid and Iain Shaw were re-elected én-

mass.

Secretary and Treasurer Anne and John

Campbell gave notice of their retirement

from the committee at the next AGM.

Trustees remain as Past Presidents’

David Walker, John Reid and Iain Shaw. The meeting closed at 20.00hrs and as

always wine and nibbles were prepared

by the committee. ¤

Don’t forget the

Society’s membership

subscriptions become due

on 1st January 2016

!

Caledonian 2

To advertise free of charge any

Scottish related items in the next

issue contact the Editor on 01843

294277.

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Classifieds

!

Finnan Haddie

Preparation time : 12 Minutes Total Cooking Time : 20 Minutes

Serves 4

Place onion over base of large

pan. Cut haddock into 2cm-wide pieces. Arrange over

onion.

Blend milk, pepper and mustard; pour over fish. Bring

slowly to the boil. Reduce heat to low, simmer cov-

ered for 5 minutes. Uncover and simmer for a further 5 minutes.

Remove fish with slotted spoon to serving dish; keep

warm. Simmer mixture in pan for further 5 minutes,

stirring.

Combine butter and flour. Add to pan with spring

onions. Stir over low heat until mixture boils and

thickens slightly. Pour over haddock and serve with

new potatoes and light greens.

1 large onion,

thinly sliced.

500g smoked

haddock.

1⅔ cups milk.

½ tsp cracked

black pepper.

1½ tsp mustard

powder.

20g butter,

softened.

2 tsp plain flower.

1 spring onion,

finely chopped.

Editor Need’s Your Help

Next year, I will be more than likely taking up the position of

Society President so my hands are going to be well and truly

tied up at many of our functions. With this in mind, I am looking for one or two members to be

responsible for taking the photographs at our functions and to

make some notes of the guest addresses and speeches given to

report the events in the Caledonian. Ideally, it would help if it is someone who has a computer, an

Email account, can edit their own work and précis it in Micro-

soft Word ready for me to convert the copy into the Caledo-

nian’s main work format which is in Microsoft Publisher. I’m happy to retain overall responsibility for the newsletter and

arrange it’s publication but really do need your help.

Yours Aye, David

Fishy.

A fisherman is a man who catches a big fish by patience, and sometimes

luck, but most often by the.....tale.

3

Whit Ye Missed At The Pictures By John Reid

I n the Summer of 2013 Guy Jenkins and Andy Hamilton,

well known for producing TV’s “Outnumbered” jour-

neyed to Gairloch and other stunning locations in Scot-

land to make the comedy film “ What We Did on Our Holi-

day.” They had assembled a stellar cast including Billy Con-

nolly, David Tennant, Rosamund Pike, Celia Imrie, Ben

Miller and Annette Crosbie.

This was the happy choice of film, released in September 2014 and

selected for we Caledonians to see on 12th March 2015 for our annual

Film Night at the Palace Cinema in Broadstairs. A kilted President Don Macpherson warmly welcomed 69 members and friends before

the film started.

Doug McLeod (David Tennant) and his wife Abi (Rosamund Pike) unite following a tense separation to travel to the Scottish Highlands

for Doug's father Geordie's (Billy Connolly) 75th birthday. Geordie has terminal cancer so Doug's brother, millionaire Gavin McLeod

(Ben Miller) has arranged a lavish party for him, inviting all the im-

portant people in the neighbourhood.

The interaction between the children is often very amusing as it is

with their Grandfather who dies whilst playing with the children on

the beach. They, having found out he has Viking ancestry, give him an appropriate cremation at sea.. The party started but could not con-

tinue. In the end brothers Doug and Gavin, who did not get on are reconciled and the children’s parents decide to try to make a fresh

start. So we had a happy ending. It was superbly acted amidst won-

derful scenery and showed Scotland in the very best of light.

The audience showed their appreciation by applauding at the end and

clearly enjoyed it as there were numerous chuckles throughout its 95 minutes which passed all to quickly. Afterwards, as is traditional, we

repaired to the next door Pavilion on the Sands for an excellent ham

and cheese ploughman's. A great evening was drawn to a close by our President. ¤

S ittin in mah goonie, face

scrubbed well, ma sister therr

beside me we’re waiting fur

the bells. Aw day long been

cleaning oor wee singel end Mammy

gien oot orders drives us roon the

bend.

Mammys oot the windae sitting oan the sill washing aw the windaes me hoping she disny

fall. Jessie’s cleaning the fireplace it wiz ma

Mammy’s bidding ahv been telt tae get the

pail and take it tae the midden. As the time it passes there’s excitement in the air and Mam-

mys oan her hunkers scrubbing at the flair.

“Come oan yous two” she cried, “it’s time tae

hiv yir bath so intae the sink wi baith o yiz furra thorough scrub and wash”.

Underneath yir oxters she scrubs wi a wrung

oot clootie wi aw that durt thit’s in yir ears ah

could grow a sack o totties. “Oan wi yir sim-mit and knickers, yir liberty bodice anaw wi

wurr winceyette goonies” she says “yiz baith

look braw”. “Get oot mah road the perr of

yous it’s nearly hauf past nine”. “Ahll hifty

soart the steak pie noo, urr it’ll no be ready in

time”. We know it’s getting near the time

when ma gets the table oot there’ll be short-breid, bun and ginger wine, of that there is

nae doot .We urr shoved in tae the recess bed

tae keep us oot the wiy and Mammy turns the

gas doon oan the, smellin lovely, pie. The peas urr in the pot overnight, they’ve hid a

steep, the totties oan the gas ring they’re oan

a wee wee peep.

Ma Mammy takes her rollers oot and pow-ders up her nose, her good froack oot the

wardrope

and her shoes wi the peepy toes. She wiz up

afore us and hisny stoapped aw day bit noo, she’s looking beautiful and New Year’s on

the way. It’s five tae twelve already, White

Heather oan the telly singing songs of Scot-

land, wi the Teucheters and the Keelies. The tummlers urr oan the sideboard, fruit cordial

fur Jessie and me, a wee dram fur ma

Mammy she deserves it, ah hope yiz agree.

She opens the auld sash windae tae bring in the New Year and oan the stroke of midnight

the ship’s horns we could hear. Ma Mammy’s

started greeting and raises up her gless toastin

aw the folk no therr and asking God tae bless.

Efter cuddles and kisses the letter boax is tootin that’ll be Uncle Peter, he’s oot therr

daen furst footin. Tall and dark and hand-

some wi whisky and coal in his haun, wi

slicked back herr and shiny shoes and his good suit oot the pawn. We aw sit roon the

table tae eat oor pie, totties an peas, then clear

away the dishes furra sing-song, if you

please. Aunty Nellie sings aboot water and how it’s aw aroon, Uncle Charlie diz his

Frankie Laine singing aboot high noon. The

party’s gaun great guns tae Maggie raises her

haun, och ahm away up the road noo coz Erchie’s sung mah song. Jessie and me urr

tired noo like the cat that goat the cream. So

it’s us intae the recess bed to sleep, perchance

tae dream. If any of this is familiar tae you

this New Year of days gone by the memories

of they great times brings a wee tear tae the

eye. So tae aw mah pals and family, ah wish

the happiness that ye seek will come rushin tae you this New Year and lang may yer

wee lum reek. ¤

A Glesca Wean's Hogmanay By Helen Ross

No one believes pensioners . . .

everyone thinks they are

senile. Tam and Jessie were celebrating their sixtieth wedding anniver-

sary. They had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved

back to their old neighbourhood after they had retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school, and as it wisn’a

locked, they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared,

where Tam had carved ‘I love you, Jessie’.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Jessie quickly picked it up

and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she

counted the money - ten thousand pounds!

Tam said, “We've got to give it back.” Jessie said “Naw, finders keepers” and put the money back in

the bag and hid it in the attic.

The next day, two polis officers were knocking on doors in the

area the asking about the money, and knocked on Tam’s door. “Excuse me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an ar-

moured car yesterday?”

Jessie said, “Naw.”

Tam said, “She’s lying an hid it up in the attic.” Jessie said, “Don't believe him, he’s gettin senile”

The polisman turned to Tam and began to question him.

One said, “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Tam said, “Well, when Jessie and I were walking home from school yesterday .........”

The first polisman turned to his partner and said, “Wur oot o’

here!”

At an art auction in Edinburgh, Scotland, a

wealthy American lost his wallet containing

£20,000 [$45,000]. He announced to the gathering

that that he would give a reward of £200 to the per-

son who found it.

From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted,

'I'll give £250.'

Northdown House was again the venue for this year’s taste of

Scotland evening when 60 plus members and friends enjoyed

a convivial evening of music, chat, food, brain teasers and song. Our entertainment was in the form of Elizabeth Hall, (Frank Skinner’s daughter), and Ann Reid, giving us a violin and keyboard duo, playing

a selection of Scottish favourites in memory of Elizabeth’s mother, Betty, a member for many years, who

sadly passed away recently.

As the title of the evening implies, a true taste of Scotland has to be the Haggis, Tatties and Neeps which everyone thoroughly enjoyed, and this was well demonstrated by the number of guests queuing for sec-

onds. The evenings supper also included sweet, coffee and shortbread to finish and was organised by

Anne Campbell and Dina Macpherson with the tatties

and neeps prepared by members of the Society. Cale-donian members Andy Brown and Jackie Buxcey

brought along some Danish house guests, Jens Mo-

erch and Lenna Hansen, to their first ever Scottish

event and they particularly enjoyed the haggis with of course, the correct ‘sauce’, ably provided by Vice

President David Walker.

David also set the table and quiz questions with John

Reid’s party getting top score and the chocolates. President Don Macpherson concluded the evening

with our sing along and Old Lang Syne. ¤

Caledonian 4

Piper’s Call

Derek Freestone

Tel: 01843 848094

Email:

derekfreestone@hotmail.com

Evening and Day Dress

Weddings, Birthdays, Ceilidhs,

Dinners, Celebrations.

Andrew Smith 17 Highfields

Sutton Common Road

Sutton, Surrey SM1 3HW

Tel: 020 8641 0767

Mobile: 07968968610

Full Military Dress,

Weddings, Birthdays, Ceilidhs,

Dinners, Celebrations.

Please mention the Caledonian

when contacting any of our pipers.

Wine & Wisdom Winners and Losers Another very successful Wine & Wisdom was held on 24th

March at “The Parish of The Holy Family -Thanet” church

hall in Birchington when 9 teams of quizzers turned up for

our annual fish supper fun evening.

Team names and points were Man of Kent 84, Pass the

Buck 74, Walkers Crisps 78, Lucky Seven 69, Six peas in a

pod 88, Magnifi-cent Seven 81

and the Rams-

gate Roadies 92

and The Village Idiots with a winning score of 97. Special thanks to past president Brian McRitchie who set the

questions and his wife Linda who carried out the marking. ¤

Did Ye Ken The Pinkerton’s

There wasn’t a great deal of law enforcement in America’s Wild

West but much of what there was

came via the Pinkerton’s National

Detective Agency, founded by Glaswegian Alan Pinkerton in

1890. His agents became legen-

dary during their pursuits of Jesse

James and Butch Cassidy’s wild bunch.

Losers were the Shaw Thing Team consisting of L:R

Len Street, Ann Street, Iain Shaw, Pat Shaw and Maria

Temple who all picked up the chocolate bars.

The Village Idiots were this year’s winners scoring 97 made

up of L:R Tricia Swift, David Dye, Nick Swift, Stephen Emms,

President Don Macpherson, John Cotterill and Christine

Emms.

Taste of Scotland

Above: Elizabeth Hall on the violin with Ann Reid on the piano.

Opposite: Northdown House main function suite with members and guests

enjoying the evening.

S t Georges Day, 23rd April, was

perhaps an inappropriate day to

start the year for the Caledonian

Golf Society! Nevertheless all went

well and the weather was kind. Sadly

a couple of our ladies had to drop out

and there were 18 contestants for The

Presidents Mashie on the Short

Course. They did make it to the meal

so that a further 10 sat down for an

excellent carvery in the evening in the

Club House. It was a special evening

as we were able to celebrate the en-

gagement of Mike Loveday to Barbara

Shepherd. Warmest congratulations to

them both.

After the meal I presented the prizes.

Bob Hope got a small bottle of whisky

for a hole in one! Well done Bob. On

the ladies side Margaret West came

first with 57 and Pat Davies chased

her home with 59. For the men Gerry

Carter returned from injury to come

2nd with 53 and the winner of the

Mashie with 52 was Mike Loveday.

Winners received 2 bottles of wine

each and runners up 1 bottle. 6 players

got birdies and were rewarded with

balls. Well done to everyone. There

was an inconclusive vote as to

whether we should stick with the

medal formula or switch to Stableford

or have a maximum score per hole.

The Committee will decide.

18 players met on June 3rd at beauti-

ful Belmont Faversham to contest for

The Jean Armour Rosebowl. The

weather was sunny and benign which

happily was a marked contrast to the

gales of the previous day. It proved an

excellent but testing course and it was

difficult to find balls which strayed off

the fairway. 19 of us then enjoyed an

excellent meal of salmon in a dill

sauce

followed

by apple

crumble

and cus-

tard. I

presented

nearest

the pin

prizes to

Peter

Saunders

and David Say and birdie balls to

Richard Baker and Bill McDermott.

The latter was from 120 yards on 18th!

The winner of the Ladies champagne

was Edwina Baker followed by Mau-

reen Summers. The second man was

Peter Saunders who was pipped on

countback by Rosebowl and whisky

winner Vice Captain Richard Baker

with a very creditable 35. Well done

to all who took part in a very enjoy-

able day. A party of 21 came on our Annual

Golf Break from Sunday 12th to

Wednesday 15th July. Sadly the Wim-

bledon sunshine of the previous two

weeks deserted us and the Tuesday

and Wednesday were pretty wet. That

apart the 18 us who played golf had a

great time on the two superb courses

and the three non playing ladies en-

joyed the facilities and chatter. It has

to be said we could not have been

better looked after with very comfort-

able accommodation, superb food,

friendly helpful staff all in a delightful

setting. On the evening of our arrival

we all enjoyed an entertaining quiz

organised by Richard and Margaret

West. On Monday we played in teams

of three with best two scores counting

which proved a relaxing way to know

the Gainsborough course. The win-

ning team with 80 points was Gerry

Carter, Frank Howe and David Say.

On Tuesday we switched to the Con-

stable course and the winner was

Mike Loveday with 34 followed

home by Tony Shrimpling 31 and

Gerry Carter

and Peter

Saunders tied

on 29. After

the golf Julie

Shrimpling

very ably

organised the

putting for

the Bank’s

Dirk. This

needed a

tense play off

to produce a winner in Gerry Carter.

The final day back to the Gainsbor-

ough for the Scotia Cup, well won by

Gerry Carter 31 with Tony Shrimpling

2nd on 30. Top lady was Maureen

Summers with 26.

The Lord Provost’s Shield was won

by Tony Shrimpling (again) 61 and

Maureen Summers 51. They won the

Whisky

and

Cham-

pagne. On

each day

we had

nearest the

pin com-

petitions

with one

of the

three being the nearest in 2 shots. The

skilful winners each receiving a £10

NF Pro shop voucher were Mike

Summers, Mike Loveday x 2, Tony

Shrimpling x 2, Julie Shrimpling,

David Say, Richard Baker and Sue

Saunders. There were prizes of wine

and balls

liberally

shared

around.

Judging

by the

happy

smiles

everyone

enjoyed

them-

selves

and a

particular mention must go to Sam

Matsubara who as very new golf

player did exceptionally well to keep

his end up. Well done everybody.

Having just returned from holiday in a

very damp Scotland, I was nervous to

find rain falling on the morning of

Thursday 20th August, but there was

no need for concern, as by the time we

teed off for the Caledonian Cup at

1.00pm conditions were benign. In all

we had 21 golfers with 13 men and 8

ladies. It proved a lovely day with

North Foreland in superb condition.

After the game we reassembled in the

Club House with a further 5 ladies for

an excellent dinner of either haggis or

salmon followed by a choice of

scrumptious desserts and coffee. Sue

Saunders brilliantly organised the

raffle which raised £88 for charity.

We then had the prize giving. Nearest

the pin winners for the 5th and 11th

were Matt Dickie and Julie

Shrimpling. Matt Dickie, Maureen

Summers, Mike Summers, Mike

Loveday

and Bob

Hope all

achieved

Birdies.

For the

Cup

itself

Maureen

Summers

just

pipped Edwina Baker on countback

for the 2nd ladies prize with 34 points.

Sue Saunders won the champagne

with 35 points. On the men’s side

Peter Saunders pipped Tony

Shrimpling for 2nd place both with 35

points. The Cup and whisky winner

was Mattie Dickie with 36 points.

Well done to all the winners it was

very tight. It was a very happy occa-

sion enjoyed by all.

As usual the final golfing event of the

year was the Marie Ferrier Tray, as

you will recall kindly presented to us

by Charlie Ferrier, our former piper in

memory of his wife. It was held on

Thursday 8th October. It did cause me

some stress as on the last day for

entries to be in by we only had a hand-

ful so the decision was made to cancel

the meal and then meet up in the bar

for the tray presentation and a snack

Typically there was then a minor rush

in the

early part

of the

week and

we ended

up with

five

ladies,

two

having

dropped

out. The

winner

was Maureen Summers with a very

creditable 38 points. She received the

tray from last year’s winner Margaret

West. Six men competed for the

“whisky” which morphed into a bottle

of red wine as there was no entry

charge. The winner was Gerry Carter

with a brilliant 45 points.

So another year has slipped by and

there only remains the military whist

on Oct 22nd for which there will be a

separate report. All has gone well and

I believe everyone has enjoyed them-

selves which of course is the main

priority. Our annual break for next

year has been provisionally booked

for June 12th at Goodwood. We look

forward to it. ¤

5 Caledonian

CAPTAIN’S LOG - STAR DATE 2015 with John Reid

Winner Mike Loveday receives the Mashie

from last year’s winner Len Street.

Jean Armour Rosebowl winner

Richard Baker receives his

trophy from 2014 winner Bill

Mc Dermott.

Julie Shrimpling presented

Gerry Carter with the Bank’s

Dirk for putting.

Winner Maureen Summers

receives the Tray from Margaret

West.

Lord Provost’s Shield winners

Maureen Summers and Tony

Shrimpling with previous holder

Richard Baker.

Winner Matt Dickie with the

Caledonian Cup and Whisky.

Gerry Carter receives the

Scotia Cup from last year’s

winner Richard Baker.

The team at Stoke by Nayland. L:R Peter Saunders, David Say, Carol Say, Mike Loveday,

Barbara Shepherd, Mike Summers, Frank Howe, Maureen Summers, Stella Matsabura,

Barbara Kaufman, Sam Matsabura, Tony Shrimpling, Captain John Reid, Richard Baker, Sue

Saunder’s feet!, Edwina Baker, Gerry Carter, Pat Carter, Julie Shrimpling, Richard and

Margaret West.

Caledonian 6

T he group from Banchory, Aber-

deenshire, believe the roots of Mor-

ris Dancing really lie in Scotland,

where it was performed in the 16th cen-

tury.

If you take yourself too seriously, skipping

like a seven-year-old and waving your han-

kies in the air probably isn’t for you. But anyone who doesn’t mind leaving their dig-

nity on the doorstep might enjoy practice

nights with the Banchory Morris Dancers.

They believe they’re the only surviving group of Morris Dancers in Scotland and they’re so

desperate for members they’re offering free

beer to new recruits.

Morris Dancing is traditionally seen as the preserve of Englishmen, but the Banchory

group believe its roots are in Scotland with

records showing groups in towns and cities

like Aberdeen, Elgin and Edinburgh in the mid-16th century. This group was founded

nearly 30 years ago by Don French and Neil

Bayfield, who met and discovered a common

enthusiasm while working as ecologists in Banchory. But over the years numbers have

dwindled to eight. “We’re really desperate.

Nearly everything we’ve done this year has

had to be done with a minimum side,” said Don, who plays accordion and began Morris

dancing in Lancaster.

“You just need a willingness to have a go and

it helps if you’re reasonably active – but you don’t have to be superfit. We definitely need

some young blood.” Despite the offer of free

drink, it seems Scotsmen are too buttoned-up

to tie bells round their shins and let their hair down and most of the Banchory group have

come from England to live in Aberdeenshire.

“It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and it is diffi-

cult to get Scots to dance”, said Neil Bay-field, who dances and provides fiddle accom-

paniment. “I don’t know why, I think they are

naturally shy. They don’t like making a fool

of themselves and there’s an element of that.” “Free beer for any new men who come along

– for two weeks,” Neil added, as the group

began their Tuesday night rehearsal at

Crathes Hall. If you sign up before September you might even get to join their overseas tour

when they will perform in Bilbao in Spain.

For men who don’t mind making fools of

themselves, this group has had more than its

fair share of intellectuals. At one time it was a team made up almost entirely of Morris

Dancers with Ph.D’s.

Groups have someone who takes on the role

of the fool to keep the audience amused. Ban-chory’s fool is Stewart Ashton, a retired lec-

turer in Mechanical Engineering at the Robert

Gordon University. He started Morris danc-

ing when he was at teacher training college in Huddersfield. For rehearsal he’s wearing two

ties, a tartan beret and trousers with one leg

red and the other yellow. “You just kind of

act daft and get away with it. It’s fun out with the lads, having a bit

of a laugh and a good drink,” Stu-

art said.

In recent years the group has at-tracted oil industry workers like

Phil Dicken, a valve engineer,

originally from the Midlands. He

stays five minutes from the re-hearsal hall and keeps his hobby

under wraps. “I sneak out and

make sure my bells don’t make too much noise, so the neighbours

can’t see where I am going,” Phil

said.

He’s a fairly recent recruit. “I started when I first moved to Scotland just under three years

ago. I thought I’d go along and see what they

get up to. I was roped in before I knew it - but

it’s good exercise. “I had seen some guys doing it in Stratford-

on-Avon 20 years ago and I thought how

wonderful it looked guys with no inhibitions -

just dancing and being jolly” One of a handful of Scots in the group is their

youngest member, 26 year-old Alex Leighton

who works for an oil industry manufacturing

firm. He’s a squire who calls the dances and joined as a teenager.

“My dad and I decided we would give it a

shot. I had seen it before and it looked quite

fun so I thought I would give it a go. It gets you out and the guys are good fun,” said

Alex.

The team’s ‘bagman’ Neil Bayfield looks

after the money and bookings and after a career as an ecologist researching climate

change, now works as a therapeutic masseur.

According to Neil, research in Canada dis-

covered the earliest records of Morris Danc-ing in the UK date back to the court of James

IV in Scotland in the late 15th century. “He

had his own courtly set of Morris dancers

who did royal entertainment in Stirling Cas-tle. So it started in Scotland,” he said.

“When James V1 of Scotland became James

the first of the UK he took a Morris Dance

team with him to England. In those days it was half dance and half play so it combined

these elements.”

The dance became popular among ordinary

people in Scottish towns and cities before the Reformation. Neil said: “Then the Scottish

Presbyterian Church stamped it out because it

was too much like good fun.”

Morris Dancing was suppressed in Scotland and in Puritan England during the 16th and

17th centuries and penalties in Scotland

ranged from a 40-shilling fine for ‘dancing

maskit and with bellis’ in Aberdeen and Elgin to ‘condemnit ...to be hangit’ in Edinburgh.

How times have changed since those days,

with recruits now being coaxed with offers of

free beer and costumes and free training. “We wear bells on the knees and baldricks which

are just coloured sashes,” Neil explained. ¤

50 Shades of Golf

Our guys have been going to the same golf-ing trip to St.Andrew’s for many years. Two

days before the group was due to leave,

Jack's wife puts her foot down, and tells him

he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go; but what can they do?

Two days later, the three arrived at

St.Andrew’s only to find Jack sitting at the

bar with four drinks set up. "Wow, Jack, how long have you been here, and how did you

talk your Mrs. into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night”.

“Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my liv-ing room chair, and my wife came up behind

me, put her hands over my eyes and asked,

'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and

there she was wearing a a beautiful negli-gee”.

“She took my hand and pulled me into our

bedroom. The room had candles and rose

petals all over. Well, she's been reading '50 Shades of Grey'......”

“On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the

bed, so I did”. “And then she said, "Do what-ever you want." “So......Here I am”!

Another Golfing Situation Sandy decided to tie the knot with his long

time girlfriend. One evening, after the hon-

eymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes and his new wife was standing there affectionally

watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally

speaks. "Darling, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit

golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf

clubs."

Sandy gets this horrified look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

‘There for a minute you were sounding like

my ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't!"

Banchory

Morris Men

7 Caledonian

The Caledonian is the newsletter of the

Thanet and District Caledonian Society .

Any correspondence in relation to the

publication should be addressed to :

The Editor

Caledonian

84 Western Road

Margate,Kent CT9 3QW

All Drinks at 50

Pence !!

Four retired friends from Glasgow are walking down a street in Ullapool in the north-west of Scotland when

they see a sign that says "Old Timer's Bar - All Drinks

only 50 Pence!" They look at each other, then go in.

Once inside, the old bartender greets them with "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gen-

tlemen?" The four friends hesitate, then they all ask

for large malt whiskies. In short order, the bartender

serves up four large Highland malts. "That'll be two pounds in total, please." The four men stare at the

bartender for a moment then look at each other. They

can't believe their good luck. They pay the £2, finish

their drinks, and order another round. Again, four excellent malts are produced with the bartender again

saying, "That's £2, please." At last, their curiosity is

more than they can stand. They've each had two large

malt whiskies, eight in total, and so far they've spent only £4 - an expensive hotel would charge that for

one. Finally, one of the men says, "How can you af-

ford to serve malt whisky as good as these for 50

pence apiece?" The bartender replied: "Here's my story. I'm a retired banker from Edinburgh, and I al-

ways wanted to own a bar. Last year I won £25 mil-

lion on the lottery and decided to open this place.

Every drink for retired customers costs 50 pence, wine, beer and spirits, all the same." "Wow. That's

quite a story." said the Glasgow guys. They sipped at

their malts and couldn't help but notice three other old

men at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole

time they were there. One of the Glaswegians gestures

at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and

asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender sighed and says, "Oh, they're on holiday from Aber-

deen.......... They're waiting for the Happy Hour!!

N icola Sturgeon is tour-

ing Perthshire in the

Firs t Minis ter’s

chauffeur driven car.

Suddenly a cow jumps out into

the road. They hit it full on and

the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to

the chauffeur : " You get out and

check - you were driving." The

chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

"You were driving, go and tell

the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t

afford to be blamed for any-thing.”

The chauffeur walks up the drive

to the farmhouse and returns five

hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin

on his face.

"My God, what happened to

you?" asks Nicola. The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the

farmer opened his best bottle of

malt whisky, the wife gave me a

slap up meal and the daughter made love to me."

"What on earth did you say?"

asks Nicola. "I knocked on the

door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Stur-

geon’s chauffeur and I've just

killed the cow”

Mrs Mopp Two polis officers responding to

a domestic disturbance with

shots fired arrive on the

scene. After discovering the wife had shot her husband for

walking across her freshly

mopped floor, they call their

sergeant on his mobile phone.

"Hello Sarge." "Yes."

"It looks like we have a murder

here"

"What happened?"

"Well a woman has shot her

husband for walking on the floor

she had just mopped."

"Have you placed her under ar-rest?"

“No Sarge...............The floor is

still wet! "

THE DIFFERENCE IF

YOU MARRY A

SCOTTISH GIRL Three friends married women from differ-

ent parts of the world.....

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house

cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the

third day he came home to see a clean house

and dishes washed and put away....

The second man married a Thai girl. He gave

his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day

he didn't see any results but the next day he

saw it was better. By the third day he saw his

house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.....

The third man married a girl from Scotland. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned,

dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed,

and hot meals on the table for every meal. The

first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third

day, some of the swelling had gone down and

he could see a little out of his left eye and his

arm was healed enough that he could fix him-self a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He

still has some difficulty when he urinates.....

Silly Saturday!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He

shined his flashlight around, looking for

valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard noth-

ing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could

disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically,

looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in

the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked,

'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in

the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of

people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rott-

weiler Jesus.'

”GOODBYE

MUM”

A wee Jimmy was shopping in a supermarket and

noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept star-ing at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout,

and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't

made you feel ill at ease. It's just that you look so

much like my late son." He answered, "That's awright missus."

She then said, "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out

'Good bye, Mum' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy." She then went through the check-

out, and as she was on her way out of the store, the

man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into

someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries. "That

comes to £121.85," said the checkout girl. "How come

it’s so much? I've only bought 5 items."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd

be paying for her things, too."

Worser for Drink

'Listen to this Lads', said the Donald to his

mates in the pub. 'Last night when ah wis in

here a burglar broke in tae ma hoose.' 'Did he get anyhting?' asked his pal.

'Aye, a broken nose and two teeth knocked oot.

The wife thought it wis me commin in drunk!'

Caledonian 8

S COTLAND'S reputation as a beer-

making nation probably owes more to

quantity than quality. But that hasn't

stopped one European brewing super-

power going mad for its own Tartan tipple.

Drinkers in the trendiest bars in Brussels, Bruges

and Antwerp are sinking vast quantities of Gordon

Highland Ales – "bred among savage lochs and

haunted castles" – and served up in thistle-shaped

glasses. And if you've never heard of the brand,

don't worry. The beers are brewed in the Flemish

town of Steenhuffel, and are as Scottish as Poirot,

Tintin and Moules & Frites.

The success of the "Scottish-style" range is such

that it is now being exported to Italy, Spain and the

Netherlands. The Gordon ales are the brainchild of

the independent Belgian brewers John Martin,

named after an English expat who founded the firm

last century. Martin was determined to produce a

“Scotch ale" that would appeal to continental taste

buds. A re-launched version of his creation was

introduced in 2008 to more than 300 Belgian pubs.

A spokeswoman for the firm said they were reaping

dividends from appealing to a widespread affection

for all things Scottish. She said: "The Gordon range

of Scottish-style beers have been very, very popular

in the Belgian market." A big part of its appeal is

that in Belgium, and other continental countries,

people love the idea of a beer that is associated with

the Scottish Highlands and all the history and my-

thology that goes along with it. This year we have

launched a major promotion of the range in Bel-

gium and now we are helping bar owners in Italy to

install our Gordon beers too. The response has been

so positive that we have had to open a dedicated

office. Sales are continuing to rise in Belgium and

it has become a hugely well-known brand over

here."

The ale is now also brewed in Scotland for export

only by Caledonian Brewing Company, Edinburgh,

but is available in England at a limited amount of

selected outlets.

Martins’ website states: "More than 300 Belgian

establishments will be proud to offer this brown ale

with all its contrasts. Bred in the Highlands in an

environment of savage Scottish lochs and haunted

castles. Those who taste it for the first time will

discover its incomparable taste. It’s unctuous foam

is true rapture for the palate." It also claims the

brews, which pack a head-spinning strength of up

to 10%, (more than double the potency of Tennents

or Carling)

have an

"explosive

character"

which has

made it an

"iconic

brand in

many Euro-

pean coun-

tries".

A spokes-

woman for

John Mar-

tin brewers said the brand was now also on sale in

Belgian supermarkets and off licences. "The entire

range is now available in cans and bottles and has

been incredibly popular. We also now sponsor a

racing car and that has helped to raise our profile

still further."

The online beer review site Spider's Scribblepad

gives a glowing review to the hybrid Belgian-

Scottish ale. It states: "This claims to be a Highland

ale but it is brewed in Belgium and is definitely

European in strength. Setting aside the marketing

ploy, this is a very competent ale." Delirium Cafe in

Brussels, which is renowned as one the best beer

bars in Europe, sells no fewer than 10 authentic

Scottish ales, including Deuchars IPA, Caledonian

80, Arran Blonde and Dark, Belhaven Twisted

Thistle and St Andrew's Ale, as well as the Red

MacGregor.

Gordon ale costs €4-€5 for a half litre in pubs, in

line with native brews such as Stella Artois and

Jupiler. In supermarkets cans sell for €1.50.

Alyn Smith MEP, who represents Scotland in Brus-

sels, believes that in this case imitation is indeed

the sincerest form of flattery. "The Gordon brand of

Scottish-style beers has become very well known in

Belgium," she said. "In Belgium all things Scottish

have a massive cachet, particularly in the Flemish

part of the country. We both have a shared history

through trade and are two enterprising, outward-

looking nations who enjoy the odd drink and know

how to enjoy themselves.

"Not many people are aware that there are Highland

games in a number of Flemish towns as well as a

large number of Scottish-Flemish associations,

particularly in the North Sea trading ports."

But the Scottish reputation is not always an advan-

tage in continental countries. Burger King in Hun-

gary once sparked controversy when it advertised

cheap meals as "Scottish offers", fuelled by stereo-

types of parsimony. Similarly German shops and

bars frequently advertise discounts and happy hours

as "Scottish prices". ¤

­

Our Bus Run To Brighton..................Our Daytrip to Brighton on Sunday the 16th August proved to be

another resounding success as the photographs here show. 47 members and friends set off from around the Isle and after a coffee stop at MacNades

near Faversham, continued to Brighton. After en-

countering a couple of minor traffic accidents we arrived in time to enjoy our pre-planned lunch of

freshly made fish & chips and a cup of tea in the

Palm Court restaurant on Brighton Pier.

After this everyone did their own thing. Some went

to the Sea-Life centre, some for a walk along the

promenade but the majority headed for The Lanes,

a collection of little shops selling jewellery, clothes, antiques, cafes and boutique style restaurants. The

weather stayed bright and all met up again at 5pm

for the journey home arriving back in Thanet

around 7.30pm.

Did ye Ken?

Gordon Scotch Ale and others in this style, de-

rived from when the Belgians got a taste for

Scotch Ales when they were introduced into

Belgium by Scottish soldiers during the first

world war.

'Scotch Ale'

made in Belgium? Thistle do nicely