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Bullying: Take the Bullying by the Horns

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What is Bullying?

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Websters Definition of Bullying: Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group), thus an "imbalance of power". [2] The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.abuse [2] Information from Wikipedia

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McGruffs Definition of Bullying: Bullying is: Fighting, threatening, name-calling, teasing, or excluding someone repeatedly over time An imbalance of power, such as size or popularity Physical, social, and emotional harm Hurting another person to get something Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council, Bullies: A Serious Problem for Kids

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Your Child May be a Bully if: They: are concerned with their own pleasures are willing to use and abuse other people to get what they want Low self esteem Impulsive Values aggression Likes to be in charge Is an arrogant winner and a sore loser Often fights with brothers and sisters Lacks empathy and doesnt sympathize with others Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council, Bullies: A Serious Problem for Kids, What Can Parents Do

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Your child may become a target if they are: shy sensitive anxious or perhaps, insecure overweight physically small having a disability or, belonging to a different race or religious faith The victim is often singled out because of his or her psychological traits more than his or her physical traits. Some are picked on for physical reasons. Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council, Bullies: A Serious Problem for Kids

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Bullying behavior may seem rather insignificant compared to guns being brought to school. It is also often dismissed as part of growing up. But its actually an early form of aggressive violent behavior. Statistics show that one in four children who bully will have a criminal record before the age of 30. Bullies often cause serious problems that schools, families, and neighbors ignore. Teasing at bus stops, taking another childs lunch money, insults and threats, kicking or shovingits all fair game to a bully. Fears and anxieties about bullies can cause some children to avoid school, carry a weapon for protection, or even commit more violent activity. Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council, Bullies: A Serious Problem for Kids

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Signs of a victim and a bully: The victim: Does poorly in school Has low self-esteem Withdrawal Loss of friends Loss of interest in activities he/she once enjoyed Torn clothing Bruises Need for extra money or supplies Turn to violent behavior to protect themselves or get revenge on their bullies The bully: Does poorly in school May smoke and drink alcohol May commit crimes in the future Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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Girls and Bullying- When most people picture a typical bully, they imagine a boy who is bigger or older than his classmates, who doesnt do well in school, who fights, and who likes it when others are scared of him. Girls bully too. Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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What Shes Like: The Effects of Her Bullying: The typical girl bully characteristics: Popular Well liked by adults Does well in school Can be friends with the girls she bullies Doesnt fist fight Spreads rumors, gossip, excludes others, shares secrets, and teases about hair, weight, IQ, and athletic ability. She will often bully in a group and pressure others to join in on the bullying. Drop in grades Low self esteem Anxiety Depression Drug use Poor eating habits This type of bullying is harder to see and most of the time adults dont realize when girls are being bullied in this way. Info provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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Cyber-bullying IM, Facebook, Myspace Video Gaming Texting

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Cyber bullying involves the use of information and communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone, text messaging, instant messaging, defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others. Info coming from SchoolCounselor.com eNewsletter Issue #70 by Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.

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It seems to be even worse than live bullying because the perpetrators are not bound by time or space, and the audience can be much, much bigger. With the power of technology, the offenses can be much more cruel as they can incorporate a rich array of media (sounds, altered graphics, text, video, slide shows, and photos) to deliver the attacks. Info coming from SchoolCounselor.com eNewsletter Issue #70 by Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.

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How kids bully each other in a high-tech world. Exclusion: the process of designating who is a member of the in group and who is an outcast. Sometimes done via mobile phone, and includes omission of certain people from email lists, chat room conversations and so on. Flaming: a heated argument, frequently including offensive or vulgar language, that occur in public communication environments, such as discussion boards or groups, chat, or newsgroups. Often capital letters are used and the motive is to upset and offend others. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flame_war http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zenslap Info coming from SchoolCounselor.com eNewsletter Issue #70 by Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.

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Outing- the public display, posting, or forwarding of personal communication or images, especially communication that contains sensitive personal information or images that are sexual in nature. Increasingly, images taken using mobile phone cameras and mobile phone text messages are used as part of outing bullying. Cyber stalking- includes threats of harm, intimidation and/or offensive comments which are sent through personal communication channels. Frequently with cyber stalking there is a threat, or at least a belief, that the virtual could become real stalking. Info coming from SchoolCounselor.com eNewsletter Issue #70 by Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.

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Facebook Tips to Beat Cyberbullying

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E-mail: One student sends a threatening e-mail to another, then forwards it to additional people. Harassment: Sending hurtful messages to someone in a severe, persistent, or pervasive manner. Instant Messaging (IM): several students log on to an IM platform (AOL) and simultaneously slam another. Websites: bullies set up derogatory Web sites dedicated to one or more victims. Impersonation: students impersonating other students and make unpopular online comments, even set up websites that include hate leading to the impersonated student being ostracized or further bullied in more traditional ways. Voting/Polling Booths: web sites offering the opportunity to create online polling/voting booths, many at no cost. Cyber bullies use these Web sites to create web pages that allow others to vote online for The Ugliest, Fattest, Dumbest, etc. boy/girl at their respective schools. Info coming from SchoolCounselor.com eNewsletter Issue #70 by Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.

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What We Can Do As Parents: Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they do. Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help build their self-esteem. Help give them the self- confidence to stand up for what they believe is right. Ask your child about their day and listen to them talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have. Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been bullied. You may have only one chance to step in and help. If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying. Encourage your child to help others who need it. Dont bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many times kids who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do it themselves. Info. Provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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When Your Child is Bullied: Many kids are embarrassed to be bullied and may not tell their parents or another adult right away. If your child comes to you and asks for help with a bully, take it seriously. Many times, if kids arent taken seriously the first time they ask for help, they dont ask again. Talk to your childs teacher instead of approaching the bully. Info. Provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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Teach your child non-violent ways to respond like walking away, talking it out, play with other friends. Involve your child in activities outside of school. That helps them to make friends in a different social circle.

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What To Do If Your Child is Bullied

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When Your Child is the Bully: Take it seriously and dont treat it as a passing phase. It has long lasting effects. Find out why they are bullying. Often they feel sad, angry, lonely, or insecure and many times major changes at home or school may bring on these feelings. Help build empathy for others and talk to your child about how it feels to be bullied. Talk to your childs teacher and find out if there are problems at school with school work or making friends. Ask for advice. Ask yourself, is someone at home bullying my child? Often, kids who bully are bullied themselves by a parent, family member, or another adult. Info. Provided by National Crime Prevention Council

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A Tool For Your Child When Someone Makes Them Feel Bad: S= stop and think when and where, now or later, publicly or privately E= explain exactly what you dont like and exactly what you want A= affirm or acknowledge and admit, affirm yours and everyone elses right to walk down the hall of be in this world and not be treated like dirt; did I take part? L= either lock in or lockout the relationship or friendship or take a vacation SEAL

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Thank You for Attending