Brutal Blue Written by Milton Michael
137
Transcript of Brutal Blue Written by Milton Michael
EXT. NEW YORK CITY
March 1985.
Opening image is the statue of Liberty and the New Yorkskyline. Lou is sitting on his bike and we see his face inthe mirror.
LOUI've always been a New Yorker.
Old photograph of kids playing stick ball.
Playing stick ball? The other kidsall wanted to be players.
Ruth, Mantle, Maris...
Not me.
All I ever wanted was to wear themask and call the game.
And nobody calls 'em better.
There's nothin' like hearing thecrowd roar in the house that Ruthbuilt.
And nobody loves the roar more thanme.
I'm never wrong.
And everyone respects that.
***end of ch01 scene01***
Lou is in his apartment.
LOU (cont'd)It was late March when I got thecall. "The commissioner of baseballwould like to speak to you".
"Could you come in Monday morning at9am?
Just park in our underground lot"
LOU (cont'd)
(MORE)
Uh oh!LOU (cont'd)
This is bad.
But I don't have much choice, I gottaface the music.
If this turns out to be my last dayon this planet, it's been a goodlife.
I know the commissioner wants megone.
Camera zoom in on Lou's forehead.
FLASHBACK INT - BANQUET HALL
(We need Sheila's new face on the following)
Lou is shaking hands with Sheila, the commissioner'swife.(need)
COMMISSIONERSheila, I'd like you meet LouPorcelli, one of our umpires. Lou,this is Sheila.(need)
SHEILAPleased to meet you Mr.Porcelli(need)
LOUMy pleasure!(need)
SHEILAShould I call you Mr Porcelli, or isLou ok with you?
LOUWell, most of my friends just callme...(need)
"The best umpire in baseball!"(need)
Sheila laughs, Lou smiles, the commissioner lookssuspicious.(need)
Lou points to the band.(need)
Band is playing "The Wanderer" (Dion)
2.
LOU (cont'd)They're playing my song, c'mon babeslet's dance.
They take to the dance floor.
Lou leads her in a slow jive.
A few words are spoken each time they transition from atwirl to a close position.
SHEILAWow! You've got some moves.
Twirl
SHEILA (cont'd)Are you Latin?
Another twirl
LOUThree quarters Italian.
At arm's length, she looks surprised.
Then at a close position.
SHEILAWhat's the other quarter?
He grasps the small of her back and dips her down, nearly tothe floor.
LOUNigerian.
Once again at arm's length, she looks surprised.(need)
The song winds down and they leave the dance floor.(need)
The commissioner looks stunned.(need)
Commissioner is chatting.(need)
He moves about chatting to others. (need)
He looks around searching for Sheila.(need)
He approaches a closet.(need)
He stares at.(need)
3.
He opens it, exposing Lou and Sheila.
Commissioner has a look of shock on his face.(need)
BACK TO:
EXT. NEW YORK CITY
Lou is still riding.
Park Avenue sign.
LOUIs this where it ends?
He enters the underground parking lot of 245 Park Avenue,the home of the office of the Commissioner of Major Leaguebaseball.
LOU (cont'd)And if there a God, I'm sure he'lllook favorably on me.
I've been a good and honest man allmy life.
He'll forgive me for Sheila. Afterall, I was only giving her what shewanted.
He enters the elevator and leans against the wall, waitingfor the door to close.
Lou is inside the elevator.
LOU (cont'd)If they do whack me, what happens tomy bike?
INT. COMMISSIONERS OFFICE
Upon arriving at the office, he is greeted by areceptionist.
He takes a seat on the couch in the waiting room.
LOUThis is creepy.
I'm getting a bad feeling about this.
4.
The COMMISSIONER appears in his doorway. His red tie isslightly loosened and he has a look of disdain on his face.
COMMISSIONERMr. Porcelli, come in please.
Lou rises from his seat and eyes the commissioner withsuspicion.
The commissioner holds the door open allowing Lou to enter.
He closes the door behind him and takes his seat behind hisdesk.
COMMISSIONER (cont'd)I'll get right to the point Lou.You're being demoted to triple A.
LOUWhat do you mean?
COMMISSIONERI think you know what I mean.
You're a disgusting piece of shit!
And your ass is gonna be parked outwest for the foreseeable future.
You'll fit right in with all thoseweirdo's out there.
LOU (SOFTLY)You can't do that. I'm the bestfucking umpire in the league and youknow that.
The commissioner completely ignores Lou's claim as he looksoff in the distance.
COMMISSIONERI've received letters from severalowners. Multiple reports of alcoholand substance abuse. And then there'sthis one, from the Baltimore Policedepartment, stating that you blew a.08 blood alcohol test on July 15.
Commissioner slaps the letter, face up on the desk for Louto see.
5.
LOUThat was a Sunday, there were nocharges laid, it was only a warning.
The union will have a say in this.Those letters from owners don't meanshit.
COMMISSIONEROh, I'm afraid they do.
The commissioner rivets a vicious glare and clicks hisintercom.
COMMISSIONER (cont'd)Randall, come in.
Randall; the union rep enters, stops, and listens.
Randall and Lou both look at the commissioner.
COMMISSIONER (cont'd)If I had my way, you'd never call astrike again.
An awkward silence.
Randall is now standing beside Lou and looking sorry.
RANDALLWe did all we could for you Lou. Wekept you in baseball, but you'llstart this season out in Las Vegas inthe Pacific Coast League.
You'll work the home opener, a weekthis Saturday.(need)
Before then, you're to meet with DonDyckstra, manager of the Las VegasSportsman Hotel. He'll haveaccommodations for you.
COMMISSIONERYou'll also be required to do somecommunity service out there.
Let's be clear, we'll be keeping aclose watch on you. Any misbehaviorand you'll face further disciplinaryaction.
6.
LOUThis is fucking bullshit!
Lou kicks a giant stuffed animal's head, which comes flyingoff and bits of polyester stuffing is scattered everywhere.
LOU (cont'd)I'm outta here!
Lou exits the office
Randall begins to pursue.
RANDALLLou, hang on
Lou, wait a minute
Lou!!!
Lou, can we talk?
Lou!
Lou, godamit!
Lou, just a word!
Lou, listen!
Randall follows him down the hall, racing to catch up.
Finally, Lou stops and Randall has the opportunity to speakdirectly to Lou.
RANDALL (cont'd)Lou, listen, I'm really sorry aboutthis. I hope you can find your wayback to the big's someday.
Lou listens intently to Randall's words.
RANDALL (cont'd)Can I make a suggestion? It might bean idea to you know... tone down yourbehavior just a tad. You know... be alittle less colorful?
Lou stares at him for a moment, then marches off without aword to Randall.
Once in the elevator, he raises his arms and asks...
7.
LOUWhy did I pay all those union duesfor?
He looks at himself in the reflection and mutters tohimself.
LOU (cont'd)"Less colorful?". What a fuckingjoke!
Now, if I can escape that undergroundparking lot - I get to live anotherday.
Lou exits the parking lot and turns onto the street. (need)
He thrusts his arms in the air as if he's a free man. (need)
EXT. HIWAY
Lou has his belongings packed on his motorcycle and headedoff.
"Hand of a Working Man" by the Dixie Fried Hep Katz plays asslides illustrate his trip across the USA.
Lou approaches the outskirts of Vegas. (the song winds down,instrumental only)
end of part 1 *********************************9 Scenes
EXT. TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY
As the university comes into view, the emcee is heardaddressing the crowd.
INT. TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY
A large crowd waits patiently while the emcee foreshadowsthe nights final award.
EMCEELadies and gentlemen, it is now timeto name this year's inductee into theTexas A&M Sports Hall of Fame.
Brad and Jayne are seated together at the back of the room.
8.
I remember the day she arrived hereEMCEE (cont'd)
at Texas A&M from a small town inCanada.
Brad looks at Jayne and smiles.
Over the years, I watched her developas a player, a coach, and into just awonderful human being.
Please welcome this years inducteeinto the Hall of Fame, Ms JayneJenkins Bellows
Standing ovation. Jayne rises and begins her trek.
Jayne accepts the plaque and takes the microphone fromemcee, who then stands off to the side.
JAYNEThank you, thank you for those kindwords and the complimentary numbers.
POV switches. Now from Jayne's perspective.
Camera zooms in to focus on Brad at the back of the room.
JAYNE (cont'd)You know, I remember something my dadonce said. "It's not the wins thatare important, it's the fun you haveand the people you meet".
Camera zooms close up to Brad's face.
Camera zooms right in between his eyes, triggering the dreamanimation and the flashback.
FLASHBACK - INT GM OFFICE
The General Manager of the professional baseball team isseated behind his desk or perhaps in a board room setting.
Brad and his agent are in attendance.
The agent is pushing the offer sheet back to the GM.
AGENTNo way will we ever accept a 1 yeardeal at this price.
(MORE)
9.
My client is fully recovered from hisAGENT (cont'd)
injury and he's still in the prime ofhis career.
We want a multi-year deal with a no-trade clause.
GM BOBBY SMITHNo trade clause huh?
Bobby Smith raises his eyebrows.
GM BOBBY SMITH (cont'd)Well, we'd sure like to keep Brad inthe organization. He's a positiveinfluence on and off the field.
I'll tell you what. We'll do a longerdeal and a no-trade, but the pay willbe on performance only, no base.
The agent stands up.
AGENTThat's a bullshit offer and you knowit!
None of my clients will ever settlefor a performance only contract.
Brad has a realization moment and holds up both hands.
BRADWait a minute. Hold everything.
I wanna retire from playing. The timehas come. I wanna become a fieldmanager and work with young players.
Brad looks straight at Bobby Smith.
BRAD (cont'd)I wanna stay with the organizationsomewhere in the system and I don'tcare where it is. Just give me achance to use what I've learned andturn out winning teams.
The agent looks alarmed.
10.
AGENTAre you nuts? (need)use the agentface in 118
You're walking away from a milliondollars!
GM BOBBY SMITHBrad, you could fill the opportunitywe have in double A Knoxville.
Pete Weinstein has moved on toanother organization so that job iswide open.
If you can win in Knoxville, we wouldlikely move you up to triple A Vegasnext season.
And then if you succeed in Vegas,we'd see you back here with the bigclub.
You'll start at the minimum basesalary, but we continue all of thebonuses that we've offeredpreviously.
Brad stands and extends his arm towards Bobby.
BRADYou gotta deal Mr. Smith, when do Istart.(need) swap agent face with 113
BACK TO:
INT. TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY
JAYNEHis words have always stuck with me,and now it's time for me to move onas well.
I'll be supporting my husband in hisnew challenge as field manager of theLas Vegas Stars.
For those of you who might not know;the Stars are a triple A baseballteam that plays in the Pacific CoastLeague.
(MORE)
11.
Apparently, I don't know that muchJAYNE (cont'd)
about baseball, except I think it'seasier to hit.
Crowd laughs.
JAYNE (cont'd)Seriously, I couldn't have receivedthis great honor on my own and I mustextend a big thank you to my coaches,teammates, trainers, the supportstaff, my parents, and of course myhusband.
I may be leaving Texas but Texas,you'll never leave me.
Jayne places her hand over her heart.
From the bottom of my heart, thankyou for this amazing recognition,which I humbly and thankfully accept.
Jayne thrust her fist in the air and starts the chant.
JAYNE (cont'd)Aggies, Aggies, Aggies
Group of ladies, who were obviously teammates applaud andwave.
Brad is watching, with a vacant seat beside him.
He looks in bewilderment at the crazy ladies.
The emcee reappears and steps up to the mic.
EMCEEThank you for that lovely acceptance.Before we pose for the photo, I wantto ask you about your book. I hearyou are writing a book aboutcoaching?
JAYNEYes!
EMCEEWhat's the title?
JAYNEIt's called "Winning My Way;Statistics are for losers"
12.
Brad looks stunned.
EMCEEWell, you certainly know how to winso I'm sure it'll be packed full ofgreat information.
C'mon, let's pose for the photo.
They pose for a photo.
Flashes go off.
Huge ovation as she exits the stage.(need)
Happy Hour begins.
Brad is standing alone at the bar.(need)
Jayne and her friends are dancing to the tune "Hey Mickey,you're so fine"
Brad signals to Jayne that it's time to leave.
He moves towards Jayne on the dance floor.
BRADC'mon, Jayne it's getting late.
JAYNEWhat? The night has just begun.
BRADTomorrow's a big day. Season openeragainst Phoenix. Come on, let's go.
JAYNEOh alright...
Reluctantly Jayne agrees, waves goodbye to her pals andexits with Brad.
JAYNE (cont'd)Bye guys
Crowd says "Bye Jayne"
EXT. TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY
Brad and Jayne are walking towards their car.
13.
BRADI'm sorry for having to pull you awayfrom your friends sweety.
EXT. TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY
Jayne pauses on the steps and reflects to Brad.
JAYNEYou know something Brad?
I'm really gonna miss this place.
BRADYou're starting a new chapter in yourlife sweetie.
C'mon, we got a long drive ahead ofus.
I wanna make it to Gatesvilletonight. It's a 2 hour drive.
JAYNEGreat, I'll work on my book.
Sound effect; car doors slam and engine starts
MONTAGE - INT. CAR
Brad is driving.
Jayne has a notepad and pen. (need)
Brad turns to Jayne.
BRADWow, you racked up a lot of wins inyour career.
I had no idea!
What's your secret?
How did you do it?
Jayne laughs.
JAYNEWell, you'll have to buy my book.
14.
Brad snickers.
BRADNo, seriously.
You must have a philosophy or astrategy of some kind.
What was it?
JAYNEI let the other coach lose.
Jayne has a smirk on her face.
BRADWhat do you mean?
How did you do that?
JAYNEThe other teams all had coaches, whoinsisted on having all thesecomplicated signs, with indicators,wipe offs, options, and so on.
Then come playoffs, they added to itand made it even more complicated.
All it did was confuse their players.
I only had two signals.
Jayne pinches her left earlobe.
JAYNE (cont'd)Left ear means "hit the ball"
Jayne pinches her right earlobe.
JAYNE (cont'd)Right ear means "make it go far"
She laughs.
JAYNE (cont'd)So that was our inside joke all yearlong...all these other teams would belooking and trying to figure out oursignals and hiding their signals fromus...and we just laughed.
Brad looks amused.
15.
They are entering the outskirts of Gatesville.
BRADSo you never bunted or hit and ran?
JAYNEHardly ever.
Well, we had two lefty slappers so Ijust them do whatever they wanted.
Brad is parking the car.
They exit the car.
EXT. MOTEL - EVENING
They walk towards the motel door.
BRADThat's very interesting.
They enter the motel.
The door closes.
Night falls on the motel.
The moon rises.
A puff of smoke appears from a chimney.
EXT. MOTEL - MORNING
Brad and Jayne enter the car.
INT. CAR
Jayne has a cup of coffee.
Brad has a copy of the Encyclopedia of Baseball.
They hit the hiway.
16.
BRADIt's interesting to hear you describehow you won.
This here book is written by a guywho lived in a warehouse and studiedbaseball.
He was never much of a player but hestudied the game and identifiedthings that no one else had everthought about.
Like on-base average is moreimportant than batting average.
Jayne looks slightly interested.
BRAD (cont'd)And it's not home runs that matter somuch, it's actually sluggingpercentage that counts.
Some pro teams are following hisadvice and they're winning!
He concludes that a runner on firstwith nobody is actually a hittingsituation and you should only buntyour number nine hitter, and eventhen, only when the next run will winthe game.
Sacrificing an out to advance arunner is not worth it.
Jayne looks shocked.
JAYNESacrificing is a part of the game.
You have to do those little thingsright.
Advance the runner into scoringposition.
Brad looks frustrated.
EXT. GALLUP
Lou mounts his bike.
17.
Begins to ride.
(music)
MONTAGE - BOTH PARTIES DRIVING - DAY
(Series of Lou slides to bluesy music)
(Series of Brad and Jayne slides to country/pop music)
(More Lou slides to bluesy music)
(More Brad and Jayne slides to country/pop music)
(More Lou slides to bluesy music)
(More Brad and Jayne slides to country/pop music)
INT. CAR - EVENING
Brad and Jayne enter the outskirts of Albuquerque.
Brad pulls into a motel.
He parks.
They look at each other in defiance.
end of part 2 *******************************
EXT. LAS VEGAS
Lou is entering the outskirts of Las Vegas. (need)
He enters the city. (need)
Cruising down the hiway. (need)
Takes an exit. (need)
Cruises down a street. (need)
18.
Lou enters the hotel parking lot and finds it crowded withpeople.
There is some kind of contest going on.
He forced to park his bike around the side. (need)
He dismounts his bike. (need)
He approaches the doorway. (need)the current one looks likehe is taking a piss...he should be walking
He peers through the glass door.
INT. HOTEL - FRONT DESK
SANDRA the desk clerk has a parrot on her shoulder as shedoes a crossword puzzle.
SANDRAOK, Godzilla, what's a six letterword for a heavy rainfall?
GODZILLASquawk
SANDRANo, it's gotta have more than onesyllable.
It's "deluge"
GODZILLASquawk, like I should know that.
SANDRACause you're noteducated.(need)change face
That's why you didn't know.
GODZILLASquawk, like pissed off.
SANDRAOK,this should be easy for you...
What's a two letter word for a typeof wind?
19.
GODZILLASquawk, like that isn't even a word.
SANDRAThere is..
Do you give up?
It's vo, V.O.
Now, what's a four letter word for abaseball umpire?
Hmmm...four letters and ends with an"E"
LOUBlue
SANDRAOh!
Hey there...can I help you?
LOUName's Lou Porcelli.
SANDRALou Porcelli, you're the baseballump.
Quite the job sir.
Ah, anyway, I understand you'll bestaying with us and we're veryhonored to have you here.
I should let you know that if youwant anything done at all you have totalk to me and no one else, becauseno one else here knows what they'redoing.
(MORE)
20.
I have been here longer than anyone.SANDRA (cont'd)
So, if there's anything you need inyour room, any meals, any shows youwanna go to, let me know, I'll hookyou up.
And because the ice machine is brokenon your floor and has been for like Idon't know, say six months, I'll justhave some sent up and put into yourfridge.
I just need to let you know, as muchas I take care of things around here,when I get a little nervous my speechgets a little weird.
LOUYa?
SANDRAYa, you'll recognize it when you seeit.
Sorry bout that.
Anyhoo, what can I do for ya?
LOUI'm here to see Don Dykstra.
Sandra gets nervous and her Tourettes flairs up.
SANDRAD, D, Don, Don, Dick, Dick, Dickhead
Dickhead Don Dyckstra
Lou looks flabbergasted.
SANDRA (cont'd)He's he's outside.(need)she should bepointing to her left
Out - Side.
That way.
Lou turns and heads for the door.
SANDRA (cont'd)St, st, stage!
21.
Sandra hurls a warning.
SANDRA (cont'd)He wants...he needs you.
EXT. HOTEL
Lou exits and immediately the lights go out.(need)I think weneed to see the outdoors for a glimpse, then the lights goout
(crowd gasps)
Fireworks burst.
Lou reacts by shielding his face, lit up by the fireworksburst.(need)Lou is looking at Sambuca again...he should belooking down and have his head dropped
Another burst, and another, and another...
PA ANNOUNCERCheck, check, 1, 2, check, check
Please welcome to the stage, our hostfor tonight's contest, Mr DonDyckstra!
One final burst of fireworks as Don Dyckstra appears onstage holding a wad of cash in both hands.
DON DYCKSTRALadies and Gentlemen. Welcome to thefun capital of America!
And welcome to the Sportsman's Hotel1st annual "Wet T-shirt Contest"!
We've narrowed it down to the finaltwo contestants and I'm here tointroduce them to you right now.
But first, let's give a big round ofapplause for our third and fourthrunners up. We hope to see you bothback here next weekend for our mudwrestling competition.
22.
Crowd applause...
Meanwhile Lou is working his way through the crowd towardsthe stage.
COLLEGE KIDOh my, look what just rolled in.
What's with the bowl on your head?
You eat your rice krispies outa that?
Much laughter.
Lou keeps moving through the crowd.
Back on stage, Don is performing.
DON DYCKSTRAOn my immediate right, we havegorgeous Lucille from New Orleans!
Huge applause.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)On my left, we have Jennifer from SanAntonio Texas, where everything isbigger!
Huge applause.
Don finally spots Lou in the crowd.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Hold the phone. Is that who I thinkit is?
Lou looks a little out of place in the crowd.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Ladies and gentlemen, I think we havebeen blessed with a celebrity in ourmidst.
Lou looks confused.
Don looks intent.
23.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Yes, it's true!
We have, right here before our veryeyes, the best umpire in baseball.
It's an undisputed fact!
Mr. Lou Porcelli come up here please.
Lou begins to make his way to the stage.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Ladies and gentlemen, it has justbeen announced by Major Leaguebaseball that one of the greatest andmost respected umpires in all ofbaseball - if not THE most respectedumpire in all of baseball - has justbeen assigned to work in our PacificCoast League!
Please welcome to the stage, Mr. LouPorcelli.
Mixed applause and some boos.
Lou looks a little uncomfortable as he climbs onto thestage.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Mr Porcelli,welcome to the greatestwet t-shirt contest inAmerica.(need)Lou should be lookingat Don
I would like you to be the finaljudge here and pick the winner.
Mixed applause.
Lou is now standing beside Don, who is conducting theinterview.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Lou? Can I call you Lou?
LOUYou can call me Lou,but most peoplejust call me the best umpire inbaseball.
24.
Mixed response.
DON DYCKSTRA"The best umpire in baseball"?
Of course, who doesn't know that!
So Lou, tell me...or better yet, showus how you would call a strike.
Lou gives a simple hand gesture.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)What? That's it? I was expectingsomething a little more dramatic.
What if it's a strike three?
Lou begins to light up a bit, he takes a step back, and usesboth hands to seemingly tear a towel in half.
The crowd responds with some applause.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Okay, that's better. Now what aboutif a player messes with you, and youknow, you gotta show him who's bossand you're gonna toss him right outof the game.
How would you do that?
LOUStand farther back please.
Lou steps back, whirls, and then unleashes his trademarkgargantuan heave.
(music)
The crowd appreciates.
DON DYCKSTRAYes!
Ladies and Gentlemen, the best umpirein baseball - Mr Lou Porcelli!
Huge applause.
25.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)And now for our grand finale, we wantLou to make the final choice in ourcontest.
Lou, will you execute your duty hereand make the final choice in ourcontest?
Lou nods.
LOUFuckin' Aye...
DON DYCKSTRAAs you all know, the winner of ourcontest will receive five hundreddollars.
Huge applause.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)The runner-up will receive fiftydollars and another free shooter.
So Lou, I would like you use yourgame ejection call to send therunner-up on her way. Would you dothat?
Lou shrugs.
LOUFuckin' Aye Baby!(need)moreaffirmitave or excited
DON DYCKSTRAOK folks, now it's time for you tohelp Lou make the final call.
Let's hear it for Lucille!
A stage hand douses Lucille with a pail of water.
Crowd goes crazy.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)That'll be tough to beat.
Can Jennifer match or beat that?
A stage hand douses Jennifer with a pail of water.
26.
Crowd goes crazy.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Wow, that's awfully close.
Okay Lou, you make the call.
Lou pauses.
LOUHmmmm....
Ready for this?
Take a chill pill.
He grabs the winner in a dance hold, by the small of herback, and drops her nearly to the floor and gives her a bigkiss.
The crowd goes crazy.
The runner-up looks shocked.
The winner emerges happy.
The boyfriend gets mad.
BOYFRIENDHey asshole, that's my girl!
LOUYeah?
COLLEGE KID #3You outta be ashamed of yourself!
Lou decides he better leave.
LOUOK, I'm outta here.
Where's my room?
DON DYCKSTRAHold on, I'll be right with you.
Confetti is released as the contest is declared over.
27.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Good night ladies and gentlemen.
Drive safe, and we'll see you allagain tomorrow night for our 99 centshooter special!
Don smiles at Lou and guides him off the stage.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Ok, let's go this way.
Hurry!
(music begins)
Don approaches a side door of the hotel.
They enter.
INT. HOTEL
Once inside, Don locks the door and looks at Lou.
DON DYCKSTRAWhew, those two guys are real badnews.
They start walking down a hallway.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)I wasn't counting on you kissing thewinner.
LOUSeemed like a gnarly idea at thetime.
DON DYCKSTRA(laughing)You're crazy. I like that!
LOUWhere are we going anyways?
DON DYCKSTRAI'm gonna get you to your bike andthen take you up to your suite.
28.
They approach the kitchen.
LOUWhat smells so damn good?
DON DYCKSTRAOh, it's barbecue ribs night.
You hungry?
LOUStrap me on a feed bag
Don motions Lou to have a seat in the cook's nook.
Lou takes the seat and has an empty plate in front of him
Don pushes aside a cook and dishes up a huge serving of bbqribs.
DON DYCKSTRAStep aside son, my friend here needsa snack.
Don serves Lou 2 racks of ribs.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)These are our world famous baby backribs.
We've got the best everything here!
The best food, the best service, thebest amenities, the best casino...
Hey, do you gamble?
Lou wipes his face.
LOUBeen know to play a hand of poker ortwo.
Don eyes light up.
DON DYCKSTRAOh really!
What games do you like?
Texas Hold'em?
Straight poker?
29.
Lou wipes again.
LOUI only play one game.
7 card stud.
Don watches Lou intently while Lou placidly enjoys his ribs.
LOU (cont'd)The cards roll over like innings in aball game.
I know the odds and I can win.
DON DYCKSTRAWow! Your life just got a whole lotbetter.
You know something? I'm your new bestfriend.
I'll hook you up at a stud pokertable and you'll be able to cleanhouse.
We're gonna be able to help eachother make a lot of money.
Lou is finishing off some bones and licking his fingers.
LOUWho are you and why did they send mehere?
DON DYCKSTRAAll the top umpires stay here!
And when I heard you were coming, wemade a quick alteration to the topfloor.
(laughing)
We used to have two, sometimes threeumpires up there, but now my friend,it's all yours.
Let's go take a look.
A smiling Don motions Lou to exit the kitchen.
They walk down another hallway.
30.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Your bike should be right outsidethat door. Just ride around into theunderground parking and take thefreight elevator up.
Lou exits, while Don watches.
EXT. HOTEL
Lou fires up his bike.
INT. HOTEL
Don walks back down hallway.
EXT. HOTEL
Lou rides his bike and trailer around and down into theunderground parking.(need)shouldn't use this image again
He idles up beside the freight elevator.
He dismounts and presses the up button.
He steers his bike into the elevator.
Pushes the button to go up.
Don waits on the main floor waiting for the elevator
Arrives at the main floor and sees Don Dyckstra.
DON DYCKSTRA(trying to be funny)Beam me up Scotty!
Don laughs.
They begin the ride up.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)So Lou, you're been in the bigs forall these years, tell me, who was thebest pitcher you ever saw?
Lou looks unimpressed.
31.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)I mean you worked the '65 WorldSeries, right?
You saw Koufax at his prime!
Was he the best?
Lou still looks unimpressed.
Don is forced to carry the conversation.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Aw c'mon...
Koufax had to be the best, was henot?
Blazing fuckin' fastball!
And that curveball, it defied thevery laws of physics!
Don is acting up a storm.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Who else was even in his league?
LOUI just call 'em as I see 'em.
Don't keep track of who's the best.
Truth is, there's a lot of goodpitchers out there, but they all makemistakes and they all have their baddays.
Don punches Lou in the shoulder.
DON DYCKSTRAAh, just like umpires, right?
Lou looks defiant.
LOUNo. From the first pitch to the finalout, I'm perfect.
My only mistakes happen aftermidnight.
32.
DON DYCKSTRA(laughing)Now you're taking a page outta mybook!
Elevator arrives at the top floor.
They exit.
Don shows Lou the spacious studio.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Have a gander at this Lou.
This whole floor is yours.
Complements of the Sportsman Hotel,where the best umpires stay.
Then he shows him the large patio, where he can park thebike and enjoy the view.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)You'll love relaxing out here on thedeck.
Just take a look at that spectacularview!
Lou looks satisfied.
LOUThank you. This is quite the pad.
DON DYCKSTRANothing is too good for the bestumpire in baseball.
Don says with a wink.
Lou laughs.
Don reaches inside his jacket and retrieves a bag of weed.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)I got a little something else for ya.
It'll help you relax out here.
It's good stuff, you'll enjoy it.
33.
LOUNever really been a pot smoker, butwhatever...
DON DYCKSTRAYou know what they say...
What happens in Vegas, stays inVegas!
Don laughs.
Don begins to head out, then turns for a last word.(need)Donmust be seen to be leaving
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)If you need anything, just let meknow. We're gonna take real good careof you.(need)one last wave
FADE OUT
end of part 3 **********************************************
EXT. MOTEL - ALBUQUERQUE
Brad and Jayne exit the motel.
They enter the car.
On the highway.
BRADI'm not sure I like the title.
What do you have for the title.
JAYNEWinning My Way; Statistics are forlosers.
Brad winces.
JAYNE (cont'd)I like it. It's perfect.
Brad looks at her sideways but remains silent.
INT LOU'S SUITE
(music only)
34.
Lou looking hungover is sitting on his bed.
Walks toward the bathroom.
Trips on a rug.
Gets up and enters bathroom
He takes a piss.
Removes his shirt.
Has a shower.
Makes a pot of coffee.
Starts to pour a cup.
Pot breaks and coffee falls.
INT. CAR - BRAD AND JAYNE
BRADWe're making good time, I might beable to review the scouting reportbefore the game.
JAYNEI always thought scouting reportswere over-rated.
Brad laughs.
BRADWell maybe in your game, but inprofessional baseball, you gottamaximize every advantage you canpossibly get.
JAYNEOh ya?! At the Nationals last year, Itold my assistants to forget thepaperwork and organize a teambarbecue instead.
It worked. We won!
Brad glares at her.
35.
INT. LOU'S SUITE
Lou is getting ready to leave for the ballpark.
He packs his gear into his bag.
He wheels his bike into the freight elevator.
INT. CAR - CLOSEUP OF BRAD DRIVING
Brad is looking slightly irritated.
Jayne is busy making notes.
They are entering the outskirts of Vegas.
EXT. HOTEL
Lou is riding his bike.
Winding his way through Vegas.
(several slides)
INT. CAR - CLOSEUP OF BRAD DRIVING
They take the exit to Las Vegas Blvd.
BRADYou know something.
I still don't like the title.
"Statistics are for losers".
Jayne laughs.
JAYNEOh, my dad used to say that all thetime.
It's no big deal.
Brad glances sideways at Jayne as he really wants to make apoint.
BRADYa but this is no joke. The big clubbases my success on results andstatistics.
36.
JAYNEReally? I thought all they caredabout was winning.
BRADYa! And in order to win, you need tomaximize every advantage you can get.We analyze statistics in order tofind those advantages.
JAYNEAnalyzing data is no fun.
Jayne looks at Brad.
JAYNE (cont'd)Stats are just numbers.
BRADThose numbers are real. Numbers havemeaning. I base my strategy onnumbers and that's how I win.
Brad's eyes are back on the road, while Jayne looks at him.
JAYNEWell you gotta have fun before youcan win.
Both are looking straight ahead at the road.
BRADWrong! You win first, then you havefun.
JAYNENope.
Brad looks back at Jayne. He's getting irritated.
BRADWhatya mean nope?
Jayne still looking straight ahead with a persistent smile.
JAYNEYou gotta make it fun first, then youcan win.
37.
BRADGod Dammit, it's other way round.Winning comes first!
Fun comes later!
Brad is glaring at Jayne with frustration.
They are nearing Cashman Field.
Jayne is looking straight ahead and sees a truck stopped infront of them.
JAYNELook out!
Brad looks back at the road, sees the truck, slams on thebrakes as he braces himself with his hands firmly gripped onthe steering wheel.
Crash! The car slams into a stopped truck at the stop light.
Both airbags go off so they are not injured.
Jayne peeks out from the airbag and looks over at Brad.
JAYNE (cont'd)Oh my God, are you OK?
Brad peeks out from behind his airbag and just glares atJayne as if this is all her fault.
His face is bloodied.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARREN PARSONS is the play-by-play announcer and hischarming tone is the voice of reason.
DARRENWelcome baseball fans in Las Vegasand all round the great state ofNevada.
KSUN TV is proud to once again bringyou all the action for both home andaway games, featuring our belovedStars.
SPARKYWhat a night we have before usDarren.
(MORE)
38.
Clear blue skies and smell of hotSPARKY (cont'd)
dogs and popcorn.
Holy macaroni, come on boys, let'swin us another home opener righthere, right now!
DARRENThere's team owner Tommy Finskarscoming out to throw the ceremonialfirst pitch.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Tommy, wearing a green sports jacket, is marching towardsthe pitchers mound where a league official is waiting tohand him the ball.
Petra and her cameraman are also there.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
SPARKYIt's nice to see Tommy out therelooking sharp.
Sparky changes from happy to concerned.
SPARKY (cont'd)Still no signs of the new clubmanager Brad Bellows.
INT. CAR
Brad is seated in the front seat with Danilo.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - PLAYING FIELD
Sportscaster PETRA WAWA and her camera man are standing nearthe pitcher's mound.
PETRAHello baseball fans. We're here atCashman Field for the openingceremonies of the 1985 season.
Owner Tommy Finskars is about tothrow the opening pitch and we'llhave a word with him as soon as he...
39.
Tommy winds and hurls a pitch that bounces to the catcher.
Oh, there it is! He just threw it.
It kinda bounced a few times but itgot there.
Tommy looks at his hand as if something went wrong.
Then he saddles up beside Petra for the interview.
PETRA (cont'd)What happened on that pitch Tommy, itkinda bounced.
TOMMY FINSKARSOh that's my "worm burner pitch",I've been working on that one for awhile.
I just use it to mix things up a bit,you know.
They both laugh.
PETRASo Tommy, how's the team looking thisyear?
TOMMY FINSKARSWell, we've got a lot of new faces,including our new field manager -Brad Bellows.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - PARKING LOT
With a bandaged nose, Brad is exiting the cab.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
PETRAHow bout the players?
TOMMY FINSKARSWell I'm so thrilled to see JoeRobinson back again. He's our MVPcatcher and we'll likely build theteam around him.
40.
INT. COACHES ROOM
Brad arrives late. He has a bandaged nose when he enters thecoach's room.
Coach COACH REG TAYLOR is holding the lineup card.
COACH REGHere's the lineup. We couldn't waitfor ya.
BRADThanks for that Reg, I hope it's awinner.
Coach HARLEY TREAT has a uniform for Brad. He hands it toBrad as he introduces himself.
COACH HARLEYI'm Harley Treat, your assistantcoach.
Didn't you manage the Double AKnoxville club last season?
Did you end up winning the playoffs?
BRADYa, I we were fortunate enough to winboth the league and playoffs.
Brad buttons up his jersey as Reg holds a box of hats.
COACH REGWhat's your hat size?
Team trainer Eddie Stoughton burst through the doorway.
EDDIE STOUGHTONBrad, they want you at home plateright away!
Brad tugs on his cap, picks up the lineup card, and headsout the doorway.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Brad meets the opposing manager and Lou at home plate.
BRADHi, my name's Brad Bellows.
41.
OPPOSING MANAGERPleased to meet you, my names NormSargeant.
Both managers look to Lou for his response. (POV from Lou'sperspective)
Lou takes control of the conversation.
LOUHi, my name's Lou Porcelli.
He pauses for a moment, as if something important is coming.
LOU (cont'd)But most people just call me "thebest umpire in baseball".
Norm chuckles.
Brad looks at Lou.
Lou shows his authority.
LOU (cont'd)Listen, we're already five minuteslate getting this shit show startedso let's hustle up.
The two managers look at each other.
Then they return to their dugouts, as Lou looks allpowerful.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky are at their desk and set the stage.
DARRENOK, we're all set for the openingpitch...
Lefty Gareau hurls first pitch.
LOUStrike!
42.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
(music)
Jayne is preparing her meal.
She realizes the game is on tv.
Turns and walks to tv.
Turns knob.
Please stand by.
Tunes into game.
(crowd noise)
DARRENLeading off for the Stars is centerfielder Pete Collins.
(sound effect ball hitting bat)
DARREN (cont'd)There's a ground ball hit to short,over to first, in time to catch aracing Pete Collins for the firstout.
DISSOLVE TO:
TWO BATTERS RETIRED - MONTAGE
Joe Robinson comes to the plate.
DARRENThat'll bring to the plate, lastyear's league MVP, Joe Robinson.
SPARKYWe're looking for big things from Joeagain this season.
Joe takes a big swing.
(sound effect - bat hitting ball)
43.
DARRENThere's a long fly ball...
It's deep...
It's really deep...
That baby's outa here!
SPARKYBig Joe just did what big Joe doesbest Darren. He deposited that pitchright onto East Washington Avenue.
Holy macaroni, what a bomb!
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
Jayne, cooking dinner for herself, pumps her fist incelebration.
SIXTEEN INNINGS PASS - MONTAGE
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENAfter sixteen innings, the score isthe Phoenix Giants 9 and the LasVegas Stars 9. We'll be right backafter this.
Darren flips a switch, and removes his headset.
Instantly a New Coke commercial begins playing.
Darren and Sparky are now free to converse, off-air.
DARREN (cont'd)Jesus Murphy, the only player we haveleft is the Bonecrusher.
SPARKYThey'll save the Bonecrusher till wehave a lead. That's the closer's rolethese days.
The New Coke ad ends.
44.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
Jayne is doing dishes while watching the game on a small tv.
SPARKYWhat a way to start the season!Seventeen innings of baseball, we'veseen it all here tonight, pitching,defense, timely hitting, holymacaroni we've got a barn burnergoing here tonight folks!
EXT. HOME PLATE - CLOSEUP - LOU
Home plate umpire LOU PORCELLI is motioning both clubmanagers to come meet at home plate. Lou is a mountain of aman, who exudes power and authority.
DARRENIt looks like home plate umpire wantsto speak to both teams Sparky.
STARS DUGOUT - CLOSEUP - BRAD
Brad sees that Lou is calling for a meeting. He leaves thedugout and marches to meet with Lou and the opposingmanager.
SPARKYI wonder what that's all about? Hewouldn't be calling the game wouldhe? We all know there are no ties inbaseball!
DARRENWell, Phoenix has to travel back fortheir home opener tomorrow againstHawaii, so they could be discussingsome kind of time limit.
HOME PLATE - 3 MAN MEETING
LOUWe gotta do something about thisbullshit boys, this fucking thingcan't go on forever.
I'm gonna impose the "InternationalRule". Each half inning will beginwith a runner on 2nd base.
(MORE)
45.
LOU (cont'd)
Your last out starts the inning asthe runner on 2nd base.
BRADIs this even a rule?
LOUIt is now!
CUT TO:
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN - JAYNE
She is still doing dishes.
SPARKYIt's getting so late, the seagullsoutnumber the fans.
Jayne stares blankly at a dish as she places it in the rack.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - FROM ABOVE
PA ANNOUNCERLadies and gentlemen, your attentionplease.
Due to length of the game and theneed for a timely finish, the homeplate umpire has determined that eachhalf inning will now begin with arunner on 2nd base.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
DARRENOK, Phoenix is starting this inningwith a runner on 2nd.
Bonecrusher Frondall in to pitch herein the top of the 17th inning.
There's a beautiful bunt laid downthe third base line, the only play isto first for the out and the runneradvances to third base.
46.
SPARKYThat's just good fundamental baseballDarren. A perfectly executedsacrifice bunt by Phoenix!
Jayne looking a bit worried.
DARRENThere's a long fly ball hit straightaway center field. Jones is under it,makes the catch, but that will scorethe go ahead run here in the top ofthe 17th.
Jayne grimaces.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - SCOREBOARD
Scoreboard shows two rows of matching numbers leading up tothe 17th inning, where a "1" appears for the visitors in thetop of the 17th.
TWO STRIKE OUTS - MONTAGE
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENBonecrusher Frondall strikes out thelast two batters and that does it thetop of the inning.
We're headed for the bottom of theseventeenth and the Stars must score.
SPARKYThe Stars haven't lost a home openerthis decade Darren. You have to goback to 1979, when they lost to thesesame Phoenix Giants by a score of 3-2.
DARRENWell, they're in danger of doing justthat here tonight Sparky. They trailPhoenix by one run with the top ofthe order due up.
47.
SPARKYThe good news is we're gonna see bigJoe Robinson this inning as he isbatting in the number 3 spot, sobarring a double play... we will seehim this inning.
PISTOL PETE COLLINS steps to the plate.
DARRENLeading off the inning is centerfielder Pete Collins. Collins singledhis last time up. He doubled in the13th. So he's two for seven to startthe season.
SPARKYYou gotta believe Pistol Pete will belaying one down here, don't you thinkDarren?
DARRENWell, we'll see. The Stars just mightprefer to play for 2 runs here and gofor the outright win rather than tieit up and move into the 18th.
It would be nice to save theBonecrusher's arm as well.
SPARKYHey listen, when the situation callsfor it, you gotta do it. Come onPistol, let's move that runner.
Sound effect of ball hitting bat.
DARRENThere's a pop up.
Shortstop Stevenson is under it, andhe makes the catch.
Scattered crowd noise.
SPARKYAw gosh darn it Darren! Why didn'tthey use that out to move the runner?
DARRENAll is not lost Sparky. We've stillgot two outs left.
(MORE)
48.
DARREN (cont'd)
Hey keep your faith, we can still winthis thing.
So here's Tyrell Ferguson. Fergy is 3for 7, with a homer to start theseason.
Sound effect of bat hitting ball
DARREN (cont'd)There's a fly ball hit to left.
And Johnson makes a nice runningcatch!
SPARKYThat just proved my point Darren. HadPistol Pete laid that ball down andmoved the runner, that fly would havescored the runner and we'd have a tieball game.
DARRENWell, we'd rather win than tie, andwe have that possibility now asnumber 3 hitter, Joe Robinson stepsto the plate.
Crowd noise.
DARREN (cont'd)Big Joe has homered, doubled, andknocked in 4 runs so far tonight.
SPARKYLet's hope he can hit a big one righthere right how - and get this seasonstarted on the right note!
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Joe enters the batters box, takes his time digging out acomfortable hole to plant his back foot while Lou gives hima discerning eye.
The Phoenix pitcher looks in for the signal.
49.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
Jayne still doing dishes.
DARREN VOJohnson, taking his time. There's thewindup, and the pitch.
High! Ball one.
SPARKYBig Joe looking very comfortable atthe plate. You know, he didn't evenflinch while looking at that pitch.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Once again, the Phoenix pitcher looks in for the signal.
DARRENJohnston winds and delivers...
The pitch appears to be inside and off the plate by a fewinches.
DARREN (cont'd)There's the pitch, and it's just alittle inside.
EXT. HOME PLATE - CLOSEUP
LOUStriiiiike! (show his authority byexaggerating his trademark air punch)
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENOh my gawd! We gotta strike call byPorcelli.
EXT. HOME PLATE - CLOSEUP
Joe steps back and calmly draws a line in the batters boxsimulating where he believed the pitch was.
DARREN VOUh oh!
50.
SPARKYYup, Joe just drew a line.
LOUI beg your pardon!
Lou's eyes light up with fury and he reacts with a sidewaysshuffle that culminates in a gargantuan heave, signalingJoe's ejection from the game.
LOU (cont'd)You're outa here!
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
SPARKYOh no! Porcelli has just ejected JoeRobinson.
DARRENI believe we've used all ouravailable players.
SPARKYThat's right Darren, this game isover! What a way to end the seasonopener!
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Brad charges out of dugout.
DARRENUh oh, here comes manager BradBellows!
And he's hot!
Brad is racing towards home plate from the dugout, his armsextended upwards in fury.
Brad arrives at home plate and confronts Lou nose to nose.
BRADThat's a brutal call, you can't dothat!
Lou looks calm, almost as if he's enjoying the drama.
LOUExcuse me, are you lost?
51.
Brad is furious.
BRADThat's our last player, you can't endthe game like that!
LOU (TEASING)Oh, you can't find the parking lot?
BRADThat's just fucking brutal!
LOUI can show you where it is.
BRADNo wonder they kicked you outta thebigs!
That comment was too much for Lou.
LOUIt's over there!
Lou again uses his gargantuan heave to eject Brad.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
In disgust, she breaks a glass and cuts her finger.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Lou leads the umpiring crew off the field.
Just as the crew enters the tunnel, Brad hurls one lastinsult.
BRADYou're fucking Brutal Blue!
Lou stubbornly marches off the field totally ignoring allthe cat calls.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENSo, that's how this ballgame endsfolks.
(MORE)
52.
It goes into the loss column for theDARREN (cont'd)
Stars as they lose it in the bottomof the 17th in a rather strange way.
SPARKYAnd for those of you scoring at home(pause) we have absolutely no ideahow you score this one!
Sparky tosses his pencil over his shoulder.
INT. STADIUM HALLWAY
Credits roll, as Lou and the crew march down the hall andinto the umpires room to George Thorogood's "Bad to theBone".
INT. STADIUM UMPIRE'S ROOM
As the crew is entering the room, Lou's adrenaline ispumping and he is on a roll.
LOUWhen are these fucking kids gonnalearn you can't argue balls andstrikes!
And you sure as fuck can't ever showme up or you'll be out on your assright fucking now!
UMPIRE #2That was the right call Lou, goodjob!
UMPIRE #3That'll teach 'em. You don't evermess with Big Lou!
Enter Craig Donaldson, the umpire scheduler. He's a 60 yearold league administrator, who is responsible for schedulingumpires. He has an eye for detail and strives to maintainintegrity in everything he does.
Craig needs to complete a report. Lou summarizes his versionand suggests Brad should be fined.
LOUI outta be in the show doing what Ido best - but no - I'm stuck here infuckin' triple A.
53.
All eyes are on Lou.
CRAIGLou, I must file a report as youejected Mr Bellows when the game wastechnically over. What was yourreason?
LOUMy reason? He used the "F" word!
CRAIGOkay.
Craig begins to make the note.
LOUHe outa be fuckin' fined big time!
CRAIGIs that your request? That he befined?
Lou looks slightly shocked but quickly nods in agreement.
LOUAbsolutely! Fine his ass. Soak himthirty grand for messin' with thebest umpire in baseball.
Lou removes some equipment pads and looks all-powerful.
Craig nods and makes the note in his report.
CRAIGOK done, we'll see what the boardthinks. Now, remember, you'reexpected to appear at the Children'shospital tomorrow at noon.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - CLUBHOUSE
The room is filled with dejected players, finding their wayto their stalls. Several players offer retorts andwisecracks.
There is crowd noise and a loudspeaker coming from outside
Coach Harley closes the door as the room goes quite.
BRADWe learned something today boys.
(MORE)
54.
Umpires can be assholes. BRAD (cont'd)
And when we have an asshole like Loubehind the dish, you gotta just suckit up and turn the page.
Joe, I don't blame you one bit. Thatfuckin' pitch looked this far off theplate (palms facing about six inchesapart - Ryan nods)
Listen. Over the course of theseason, there's gonna be shit callsgo both ways. It'll balance out.
So what do we do? We turn the page.Don't piss off Blue. Turn the page.
Team owner TOMMY FINSKARS bursts in the door...he could havehad a few...
TOMMY FINSKARSTough loss boys!
Tough, tough loss. Hate to lose agame that way - but you know what?
We would have won that game if weonly had a few more switch hitters.
We wouldn't have needed to make somany substitutions - so therefore wewouldn't have run out of players!
Some of you righties gotta learn howto go lefty.
He takes a lefty stance as he holds a large new coke bottlelike a bat.
TOMMY FINSKARS (cont'd)And guess what! You're closer tofirst base too.
He looks at Joe admirably.
TOMMY FINSKARS (cont'd)Hey Joe, you just keep doing whatyou're doing.
Brad crosses the room and escorts Tom Finskars out of thedressing room.
55.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - OUTSIDE CLUBHOUSE
TOMMY FINSKARSDon't you know who I am?
I own this team. You work for me!
BRADNo, I report to the big club, andthey pay me - so you just mind toyour books and put some fans in thestands.
Finskars glares at Brad.
TOMMY FINSKARSYou best start showing me somerespect.
I own this team and I own the hotelwhere the umpires stay too!
Petra and her cameraman elbow their way past the two andenter the room.
Tommy looks at Petra's butt.
BRADOkay, pleased to meet you Mr?
Tommy lightens up.
TOMMY FINSKARSFinskars...Tommy Finskars.
I actually played a lot of ball in myyounger years...
Brad is forced to interrupt.
BRADMy names Brad Bellows, and you knowwhat Tommy? Can I call you Tommy?
Tommy nods.
BRAD (cont'd)I gotta get back in there, cause Ijust saw a female reporter go inthere and some of our guys are justgetting out of the shower.
They share a laugh.
56.
Brad returns to dressing room to find Petra interviewingJoe.
Joe has a towel around his waist.
Petra is holding a microphone for Joe to speak into.
BRAD (cont'd)Excuse me young lady, but it's myunderstanding that the press is notallowed in the dressing room for 45minutes after game time.
Petra points the microphone to Brad's face
PETRAManager Bellows, in the bottom of the17th and down by a run, why weren'tyou bunting to move the runner.
BRADWell, because we were playing for thewin, not the tie, but listen.
You're welcome to come back in 30minutes and ask all the questions youlike.
Some of our guys are just coming outof the shower.
Brad checks his wrist watch.
PETRAI have to be back at the station in20 minutes with a story, so that'snot gonna happen.
Petra motions to her cameraman to keep rolling.
PETRA (cont'd)Fans want to know why you weren'tbunting in the bottom of the 17th?
BRADListen, you're welcome to back laterand ask questions.
A player tosses a towel over the camera lens.
Another player moves towards Petra.
57.
PETRADon't you dare touch me!
Petra again motions to the cameraman to keep recording.
Shooter Hopkins puts the cameraman in a head lock and giveshim a noogie.
Tommy steps in as the voice of authority.
TOMMY FINSKARSHold everything!
Turn off that camera.
Let the cameraman go.
He then turns and speaks directly to Petra.
TOMMY FINSKARS (cont'd)Listen young lady, you're got tofollow the rules.
The press is not allowed in thedressing room for 45 minutesfollowing the game.
Shooter gently leads the cameraman out of the dressing roomwhile Petra clubs Shooter on the back with her microphone.
Once outside the dressing room, Petra, part way up astaircase, is livid and engaged in a shouting match withTommy.
PETRAI've been dealing with men like youmy entire adult life and I wouldn'tbe where I am now if I had taken yourkind of shit.
TOMMY FINSKARSListen young lady, I happen to ownthe station you work for so mind yourP's and Q's.
PETRAOh ya, just try to fire me!
You'll be talking to my lawyer andthen you'll end up working for me!
Tommy is waving goodbye to her and hurls one last insult.
58.
TOMMY FINSKARSYou know where we went wrong?
We should have never given you thevote!
Petra is seething as she exits the stadium.
Brad is able to close the door and address the team.
He looks at his wrist watch.
BRADAnybody know what time the sportsairs tonight?
Much jeering and laughing.
CUT TO:
EXT. STADIUM - EXIT
Lou is in his riding gear, mounts his Harley Davidson, andthrusts the kick starter to fire it up.
EXT. LAS VEGAS - NIGHT
Lou cruises the streets of Vegas like a boss, to the tune"Mercury Blues" by David Lindley.
He wheels into a convenience store.
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
He buys a large bottle of Coke, avoiding the widelyadvertised New Coke.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
He packs the bottle into his pack, mounts his bike, andresumes his cruise through Vegas. Everyone gives him space.
EXT. LAS VEGAS - NIGHT
Lou arrives at the hotel and idles down into an undergroundparkade.
59.
INT. HOTEL - UNDERGROUND
Lou weaves up to a freight elevator and pushes the upbutton.
The elevator door opens and Lou wheels his bike inside.Thedoor closes as "I drink alone" by George Thorogood begins.
INT. LOU'S SUITE
Elevator door opens revealing his spacious penthouse suiteand Lou wheels his bike out onto a deck, with a view of theoutskirts of Vegas and the Nevada desert.
He drops the kickstand, parks his bike and cracks a bottleof Jack Daniels. As he surveys the landscape he retrieves aglass and ceremoniously served himself up a highball of JackDaniels and Coke.
He seats himself in his cozy chair, thoroughly enjoying thebeverage.
INT. COACHES ROOM
BRADOur guys were swinging at a lot ofpitches
HARLEYYup, 25 strikeouts.
BRADThey seemed a little nervous andedgy, we weren't in a groove.
COACH REGWell, it didn't help having ourfearless leader show up five minutesbefore game time!
Brad glares at Reg.
60.
BRADYou and I aren't gonna have problemsgoing forward are we?
My wife was being inducted into theTexas A&M Sports Hall of Fame lastnight.
It's kind of a big deal and a once ina lifetime thing.
I had to be there!
Brad removes the bandage from his nose and throws in thegarbage.
He looks at Harley.
BRAD (cont'd)Now, Harley, how many of thosestrikeouts were looking and how manywere swinging.
Harley scans the sheet.
HARLEYLooks like they were all swinging, Idon't see any backward K's on here atall.
Brad ponders...
BRADTwenty-five strikeouts and they'reall swinging...
hmmm...
COACH REGAt least we're swinging the bat.
Brad stares at Reg.
EXT. LOU'S BALCONY
Lou sits enjoying his beverage and soaking in the panoramicview of Las Vegas.
To the tune of "I drink alone" George Thorogood.
61.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN - LATE NIGHT
Jayne is in her pajamas and ready for bed, when Brad enters.
Brad complains about the loss.
JAYNEYou made too many substitutions earlyand you ran out of players.
Just let your starters play.
BRADOh bullshit!
Early in season, you wanna giveeverybody a look - see what they cando.
And play the percentages!
Fuckin' ump cost us the game. He knewwe were down to our last player too.
JAYNEDon't blame blue.
Joe deserved to be tossed - and sodid you!
BRADWhat do you mean?
That was a brutal call. The pitch wasthis far off the plate!
Brad holds his hands about 8 inches apart.
JAYNEYou can't argue balls and strikes.
Everyone knows that - except you!
Jayne retrieves pillow and blanket.
JAYNE (cont'd)You're on the couch.
EXT. LOU'S BALCONY
Lou is still enjoying drinks as he enjoys the view.
62.
After pouring yet another drink he retrieves a uniquelooking leather case, which he unfolds to reveal a smallcoin collection.
CUT TO:
end of part 4 **********************************************
INT. HOME - MORNING
Brad and Jayne discuss while the news is on tv in thebackground.
They both look to the tv as the news is wrapping up and thesports news is about to start.
NEWS ANCHORSo that's a wrap for today's news,now for a look at the world ofsports - here's our own Petra Wawa!
What's new in the world of sportsPetra?
PETRAYou're not gonna believe this one.The Las Vegas Stars lost their homeopener last night in the bottom ofthe seventeenth inning.
But that's not the strange part. Waitfor this: they lost because they ranout of players!
In the bottom of the 17th, JoeRobinson was ejected for drawing aline in the dirt after a calledstrike.
The problem was, there was no oneleft on the bench. Manager BradBellows had used everyone.
You can't continue a game with lessthan 9 players so the Stars lose bydefault.
The news anchor shakes head in disbelief.
63.
PETRA (cont'd)We talked to team captain JoeRobinson about what it feels like tolose the home opener.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - CLUBHOUSE
Petra is interviewing Joe.
JOE ROBINSONIt feels terrible, just awful.
I dunno what the ump was lookingat...that pitch was this far off theplate.
Joe holds his hands about 8 inches apart.
CUT TO:
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad and Jayne are watching the interview.
JAYNEHe's going to be a real problem youknow?
BRADWho?
JAYNEJoe, your mvp catcher.
BRADHe's not a problem, he's our teamcaptain.
Brad still looking at the tv, while Jayne is looking at Bradand the interview is over.
JAYNEHe's gonna be a problem, and you'regonna have to get rid of himeventually.
Brad ignores her at stares at the tv.
JAYNE (cont'd)Wanna bet?
64.
BRADWhatever, ya.
JAYNEOK, if you have to trade him, I getto run a practice.
Brad still staring at tv as he fixes a cup of coffee.
BRADSure, whatever.
Closeup of Petra holding a piece of paper.
PETRAThis just in. Manager Bellows hasbeen fined $30,000 by the league forhis being ejected after the game wasofficially over.
Brad snaps. He was about to sip his coffee, but upon hearingthe news, he raises it outward, splashing some of contentsas he seethes at the tv.
BRADThirty fuckin' grand! That'sbullshit!
JAYNEHow do you intent to pay that?
BRADWhat do you mean how?
Jayne has her hands on her hips and looking at Brad.
JAYNEWell, it's not coming out of ourjoint account.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL - PARKING LOT - DAY
Lou mounts his bike and leaves for the hospital.
(music only)
65.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don is sitting in his office chair and speaking into hisintercom.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, come into my office please.
Sandra is at her desk and holding the phone to her ear.
SANDRASure, be right there.
Sandra enters his office and looks around at all the photos.
SANDRA (cont'd)Do you even know these people?
Who's your decorator?
Don laughs
DON DYCKSTRAOh, that one is just me and the boysout on a vessel, having some fun.
SANDRAWhat vessel, the SS Dipshit?
DON DYCKSTRAListen Sandra, I've just had a newline set up on our phone system. It'sa special line that my buddies canuse to reach me here at the hotel.
SANDRAYour buddies?
DON DYCKSTRAYa, my buddies. These guys...and someother guys too. It's line number 6,so when you see that light flashing,just let it ring and I'll pick it up.
But...if I happen to be out of theoffice - which I hardly ever amanymore, cause I'm working like adog, but if I do happen to be out andyou see that line ringing say morethan 3 times, you should pick it upand just take a message.
66.
SANDRATake a message...from your buddy?
DON DYCKSTRAYa, just take his name and number soI can call him back. That's all, youdon't have to ask him what he wantsor anything like that.
Just take his name and number andthen hang up, Okay?
SANDRA(sarcastic remark)
DON DYCKSTRANow, is everything set for the VIPmeeting? This is very important, Iwant it to come off without a hitch,and I'll be away golfing.
SANDRAWhat VIP meeting?
Are your houseboat buddies showingup?
Sandra points sarcastically at one of the photos on thewall.
DON DYCKSTRAListen, I don't have time for sillyjokes.
The hotel, this hotel, is sponsoringa very special VIP guest night for aMr Lou Porcelli.
SANDRAPorcelli, you half wit.
DON DYCKSTRAI've got the girls coming, so don'tworry about that.
And I told Marvin outside, the guywith the bowtie, to tell you to haveeverything else organized.
Are we ready to go?
SANDRA(sarcastically)
(MORE)
67.
You told Marvin, outside?SANDRA (cont'd)
To tell me?
To have everything organized?
Do you understand "chain of command"?
First off, it's Milton in the bowtie,and he's the chauffeur, his job is todrive people places and to park cars.
Secondly, what girls do you havecoming?
We have had a relationship with Mr.Kingston for many years and he alwayssends the best girls.
He will be offended if we goelsewhere.
DON DYCKSTRADon't come at me with stuff like thatright now. I need you to be a teamplayer!
I used to work with these guys.That's how I met Tommy...TommyFinskars, the owner of this hotel.
I got the girls, these girls aregonna be great.
You have to look after everythingelse.
SANDRAJust say the word, it'll be done.
DON DYCKSTRAAnd most importantly, you have tolook after our special guest, Mr.Porcelli.
Watch him, get to know him, find outwhat he likes and stuff...you know,give him the ol' Sportsman Hotel redcarpet treatment.
SANDRAWell I'm off at ten, so there's that.
68.
DON DYCKSTRANo way you're off at ten. ListenSandra, you're my assistant managerand you work when the hotel needsyou.
Lou has to be treated as a veryspecial guest.
SANDRASpecial....
Don tries a softer, friendlier approach.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, you're kind of a nice lookingolder kinda gal, and we all like tohave a little fun sometimes.
Hey, if none of the younger girlstake a liking to Lou, why don't you,you know, cozy up to him a bit andget to know him.
Sandra starts to get nervous.
SANDRAF, F, F, Fore Motherfucker!
DON DYCKSTRAPardon?
SANDRAG, G, G, Go golfing.
I, I, I'll look after everything.
DON DYCKSTRATen four sweet tits!
That's what I like to hear.
Now you're really becoming a teamplayer.
Now take that sweet little cabooseback your desk and get things lookedafter.
Sandra at the door.
69.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Sandra, Sandra, are you forgettingsomething?
The only thing I like open arewomen's legs.
Close the door behind you.
SANDRADipshit.
ENT. CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL - DAY
Lou has arrived at the Children's Hospital.
INT. CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL
Lou makes his way down the hall, up the elevator, and exitson the 3rd floor where he is greeted by a nurse.
NURSE WENDYHello, you must be Mr. Porcelli (Lounods).
There's a young girl who can't waitto see you. She's the cutest littlegirl and we all love her dearly.
Her name is ALICIA. She wants to bean umpire someday and her dad evenbought her a mask and a protectorthingy.
The nurse leads Lou into the next room.
LOUA chest protector?
NURSE WENDYYes, I guess that's what it is. A bigthing she hides behind with just herhead sticking up. It's so cute! Shewants to meet you so bad.She knows you're an umpire and that'sall she's been talking about all day.
70.
They arrive at the room which has about a dozen sickchildren playing and hanging out with a few parents and several nurses.
Alicia lets out a shriek of excitement.
ALICIAOh boy, we're really gonna have funnow!
Alicia takes charge and begins organizing the scene.
ALICIA (cont'd)Hayley, you're the catcher. You squatdown right here like this.
She demonstrates.
Her dad has made a home plate out of white card stock andshe lays it on the floor in front of the wheelchair.
Then she orders David to stand in and pretend to be thebatter.
ALICIA (cont'd)David, you be the batter.
She motions to him.
ALICIA (cont'd)Mr Lou, you're the pitcher ok? You goover there and you're going to throwthe baseball ok?
Alicia dons her mask, holds onto her giant chest protectoras best she can and stations herself behind the child in thewheelchair and pretends to be the umpire.
David, the child who she wants to be the batter is notparticipating yet and is still holding onto his mother.
ALICIA (cont'd)Batter up!
Batter up!
C'mon David, you're the batter, getover here and be the batter. Mr Louis gonna pitch the baseball now.
David's mother helps David gather the courage. She finds hima Star Wars sword to use as a baseball bat.
71.
David takes his place as a batter, albeit with a veryawkward stance.
ALICIA (cont'd)Play ball!
Lou has been given a sponge baseball. He takes anexaggerated wind up and delivers a looping toss towards thechild in the wheelchair.
It misses the mark and lands beside the wheelchair. Aliciaremoves her mask and protector and retrieves the ball. Shetakes the ball to the home plate in order to demonstratethat the ball must cross the plate.
ALICIA (cont'd)Mr Lou the ball must cross over topof the plate to be a strike, ok?
So throw the ball again and this timemake it cross over the plate, ok?
Lou nods approval and once again takes an exaggerated windup before throwing the ball into the lap of the child in thewheelchair.
ALICIA (cont'd)Striiiike!
The room erupts in applause and Alicia jumps for joy.
She's not done however. She retrieves the ball and onceagain demonstrates that the ball has to cross over theplate.
Lou jumps on the opportunity to further educate Alicia.
LOUIf the whole ball crosses over theplate, it's a strike.
But what if the ball crosses over theedge? Do you think it's a strike or aball?
Alicia shrugs and waits for Lou's answer, with greatanticipation.
ALICIAUmmm...I'm not sure, is it a ball?
72.
LOUIt's a strike because it caught thecorner.
Alicia is super excited to learn this tidbit. She wants toplay again. She scurries about finding her mask andprotector again and takes her place behind the wheelchair.
Lou is humored by this. A wide smile spreads across hisface.
ALICIAPlay ball!
Batter up!
C'mon David, you're the batter and MrLou is gonna throw the baseballagain.
Once again Lou takes his exaggerated wind up and tosses theball, making sure it lands to the edge of the chair.
ALICIA (cont'd)Striiiike!
It caught the corner!
The room erupts in applause once again.
LOUYes it did Alicia. You're a goodlittle umpire.
The nurse quickly moves in, collecting the ball and theplate.
NURSE WENDYOk, it's nap time. Everybody getready for their nap.
Nurse takes Lou aside.
NURSE WENDY (cont'd)The excitement is good for Alicia,but she is very sick and will tirequickly so she needs her rest.
73.
LOUI understand.
Could you do me a favor and keep meposted...you know, regarding herhealth.
The nurse smiles wryly.
NURSE WENDYOf course.
Lou nods but before he leaves he goes to Alicia and givesher a pat on the head and some words of encouragement.
EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING LOT - CLOSEUP LOU
He mounts his Harley and gazes up at the 3rd floor beforecranking the starter and firing up the motorcycle.
LOU (TO HIMSELF)I think I deserve a friggin' drink
As he rides off, "One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"begins and continues as he winds his way through the streetsof Vegas.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Wearing a big smile, Tommy Finskars is seated between Darrenand Sparky.
DARRENWe're honored to have a very specialguest with us here in the boothtoday.
Team owner Tommy Finskars!
How's everything going Tommy?
TOMMY FINSKARSAny better and it'd be illegal boys!
They all chuckle.
DARRENTommy, we understand you've got a newfocus these days?
74.
TOMMY FINSKARSThat's right Darren. As you probablyknow, we had a bit of a disagreementwith one of our station's reportersthe other night.
I may be a little old fashioned, butI don't think a female, whether she'sa sports reporter or not, should bein the men's locker room immediatelyfollowing a game.
I mean, jeepers creepers, guys arejust stepping out of the shower andstuff like that...so I just thinkthey should have some common decencyand wait till the boys are fullydressed.
But you know, that's neither here northere. I've put that behind me nowand I have only one focus.
I want to put fans in these emptyseats.
DARRENWell, I understand where you'recoming from Tommy, but I like yournew focus.
We all want to see these stands fullof cheering baseball fans.
SPARKYHey Tommy, if you wanna draw morefans - you know what you need?
A mascot!
You know, some kind of crazy creatureor something. All the major leagueteams are doing that these days andthe fans love it!
TOMMY FINSKARSDamn, that's a good idea. I'll haveto look into getting one of those.
75.
EXT. LAS VEGAS INTERSECTION - CROSSWALK
As Lou enters into a right turn, a 10 year old boy dartsonto the street.
Lou must swerve to avoid striking the boy.
He crashes.
Lou lies unconscious on the pavement.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENOK, the score after 5 complete theDukes lead the Stars three to two.
We'd like to thank Stars owner TommyFinskars for stopping by and sharinghis thoughts with us.
TOMMY FINSKARSThanks for having me guys, this was alot of fun.
SPARKYAnd I can't wait to see what you comeup with for a mascot Tommy.
Good luck with that!
Tommy exits.
DARRENAh, Tommy what a guy...
LAST FOUR INNINGS - MONTAGE
Lots of swinging strikes.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Jr. Worth is struggling with control and walks the basesloaded.
Scoreboard shows tie score, bases loaded.
Jr walks in winning run. Stars lose.
76.
Jr Worth looks dejected as he watches runner cross homeplate following a bases loaded walk.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENWell, that's a tough way to lose aball game and that drops the Stars totwo losses without a win.
INT. HOSPITAL - LOU'S ROOM
Lou is laying in a hospital bed with his arm in a cast.
Craig Donaldson, Randall, and a cop are all seated nearLou's bedside.
(dialogue required)
INT. DRESSING ROOM
Petra has won her back into the dressing room and isinterviewing Brad.
PETRADid you consider pulling Jr at anytime during that last inning?
BRADNo. This kid is gonna be a goodpitcher and this is how he develops.
He knows he didn't execute hispitches tonight and he'll learn fromthis.
Joe is grumbling to a teammate as he stares at Jr.
JOE ROBINSONFuckin' kid couldn't hit the waterfrom a wharf.
77.
INT. HOSPITAL
Lou is sitting in bed with his arm and shoulder strung up.
Craig Donaldson enters.
CRAIGWell, aren't you a fine looking mess.
What happened?
LOUHad to ditch the bike to save a kid.
Craig tries to add some humor to the situation.
CRAIGYou've caused quite an inconvenienceto everyone, you realize?
I've gotta make multiple changes tothe crew schedule now.
Lou picks up his indicator from his bedside table.
LOUNow for the good news?
I've still got my trusty indicator!
They both laugh.
The nurse re-enters.
NURSESo we had a few drinks did we?
Point five alcohol content showing inyour blood test.
Lou laughs.
LOUPoint five - that's nothin.
NURSEPolice also found a stash of weed inyour saddle bag.
Aren't you a little old for that sortof behavior?
78.
CRAIGCould you please discard that report?
NURSESo sorry soldier, it's already beenfaxed.
A telephone sits on the bedside table.
Craig picks up the receiver and dials.
COMMISSIONERHello.
CRAIGSir, I have a bit of bad news. Itappears Lou was in an accident todayand they have detected a trace ofalcohol in this blood and somemarijuana in ...
The Commissioner cuts him short.
COMMISSIONERSend him to Clark County immediately.
CRAIGBut that's a prison
COMMISSIONERIt's also a hospital, he'll be welllooked after there.
I'll make the arrangements at my end.Just have him transported theretomorrow morning.
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad and Jayne watch the news and sports.
NEWS ANCHORSo enjoy the weekend and all the sunwe have in the forecast - and nowover to Petra with the latest insports.
Petra, I hear the Stars lost again?
79.
PETRAYes they did and it wasn't pretty.
Jr Worth wasn't worth the price ofadmission yesterday as he walked thebases loaded and then walked in thewinning run!
We interviewed manager Brad Bellowsand he had this to say.
(replay of the interview)
PETRA (cont'd)The good news is, the Stars now havea two day break so they'll have timefor some much needed practice!
INT. PRISON - CHECK IN
Lou is being photographed and finger printed.
Lou is escorted to his cell.
INT. PRISON - CELL
Procol Harum's "Conquistador" begins as Lou sits alone onhis bunk. His arm is in a sling and bruises on his face.
Song plays for 1 minute, then silence.
Silence is broken by PETE, the prison guard who surprisesLou.
Pete (Jim Carey type) has a peculiar manner about him. He iseither gay or pretending to be gay.
Lou is speechless and very wary of Pete.
SNEAKY PETEStrip naked please, it's prisonprotocol.
Lou has to strip in front of Sneaky Pete.
Blondie's "One Way or Another" begins (first half of thesong) as Pete moves about eyeing Lou as if he has a specialinterest in his newest member.
80.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don is sitting in his office and on the phone.
He looks surprised and angry and is shouting into thetelephone.
DON DYCKSTRAWhat do mean you can't tell me wherehe's been transferred!
He's a special guest at our hotel...Ineed to know!
Tommy appears in the doorway in his trademark green suit.
Don slams down the phone.
TOMMY FINSKARSDonny boy!
Big idea!
The team needs a mascot. You know,some kinda crazy animal or somethingthat does wacky stuff during our homegames!
Fans love that kind of stuff. All thebig clubs are doing that now and weneed one too!
Don just stares at him with a vacant look.
INT. PRISON
Inmates are gathered in the library when Lou enters.
KYRONE PEEL has a menacing look on his face as he stares atLou.
KYRONEAren't you Lou Porcelli? Outfieldumpire in game 6 last year's worldseries?
Lou gives him a blank stare and then nods.
You cost me five thousand bucks!
Kyrone grasps Lou's collar and thrusts him up against thewall.
81.
KYRONE (cont'd)Exactly how are you gonna pay meback?
Kyrone gives him the hairy eyeball and then coins Lou's newnickname.
Sweet Lou?
The other inmates join in and taunt Lou.
INMATE 1Kill the ump!
Much laughter and banter.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars are practicing.
Brad has Jr in the batting cage and giving him advice.
BRADYou know what I noticed yesterday?
You're working too fast. You need totake more time between pitches. Takeat least one deep breath. Take yourtime stepping back on the rubber.Relax. Exhale.
Once you get the signal, nod, thenjust focus on one thing...the target.
Reg has set a basketball on top of a tee that is on top of ahome plate.
Brad hands Jr a baseball.
BRAD (cont'd)Now, just focus on that basketballand try to knock it off the tee.
You should be able to hit it about50% of the time.
Jr winds and fires.
The ball sails over the basketball by about 5 feet.
82.
BRAD (cont'd)OK, take your time.
Try again.
Once again, Jr misses badly.
Reg looks distraught.
BRAD (cont'd)Again.
Joe appears.
JOE ROBINSONForget it Skipper, it's a waste oftime.
The kid couldn't hit the water from awharf.
INT. PRISON
Lou is sitting alone in his cell.
Sneaky Pete appears.
SNEAKY PETEFriday your big day Lou.
Lou looks at him in stunned silence.
SNEAKY PETE (cont'd)The court system is flooded thesedays but the judge found some time tohear your case on Friday afternoon.
We'll arrange your transportation foryou.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don presses the intercom.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, come into my office.
Sandra appears.
83.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Listen Sandra, we have a serioussituation here. Our special guest MrLou Porcelli has been in accident.
He crashed his bike and was sent tothe Sunrise Hospital. But thismorning he was transferred to anotherfacility and we have to find outwhere he is.
Stop whatever you are doing. This istop priority.
SANDRA(dialogue needed)
DON DYCKSTRAOh, and by the way, Tommy wants us tofind a mascot for the home games.
Think about that after you find outwhere Lou is.
End of day 3 ***********************************************
INT. PRISON - LIBRARY
The inmates are in the library when Sneaky Pete appears.
SNEAKY PETEWho wants a little action on today'sgames?
C'mon, step right up ladies!
Let's see which one of you cutie piesknows the most about baseball.
Several inmates produce a variety of coins and cigarettes.
KYRONEI got five darts on the Yankees, fiveon the Dodgers, and three on theBraves.
SNEAKY PETEThat's the spirit. You realize you'regiving up a few runs on those picksdon't you?
Of course you do! You're no dummy!
84.
Sneaky Pete laughs.
SNEAKY PETE (cont'd)What about you there, Sweet Lou?
All eyes turn to Lou.
Lou shakes his head.
LOUNope. Never bet on baseball.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars having another practice.
Jr. in the cage throwing at the basketball as Brad watchesfrom a distance.
Joe approaches Brad.
JOE ROBINSONWhen's the beach ball coming out?
EXT. COURTHOUSE
The judge is partially dressed in his formal attire andbuying a hot dog from a street vendor.
Vehicle, with Lou in the back seat, pulls up in front ofcourthouse.
Judge scurries back inside.
Lou is lead from the vehicle into the court house.
Lou takes his position in the defendants seat.
In the lunch room, the Judge quickly devours the hot dog andwipes up in time to make an entrance to the court room.
The judge makes his entrance.
Everyone stands. There's a scattering of people in thecourthouse.
Judge asks everyone to be seated and he seats himself.
Judge bangs his gavel and calls court into session.
85.
JUDGE GRAVELLYMr. Lou Porcelli, you have 108 unpaidparking tickets that have beenpresented before me.
The sum of all fines and processingfees and interest comes to tenthousand, four hundred and ninetydollars.
Can you pay these tickets today?
LOUEr, no sir.
The prosecutor makes his case.
The laws of the country need to be respected.
This case is an example for the young people of America.
Lou is guilty of gross negligence of our most basic laws.
He deserves the maximum sentence.
JUDGE GRAVELLYLou, what do you have to say in yourdefense?
LOUI've been parking my bike in the samespot for years.
I am not taking away anyone's parkingspot as my bike fits in between twospaces.
Hell, the dogs even enjoy my bikebeing parked there as they like topiss on my back tire.
Scattered laughter in the court room.
JUDGE GRAVELLYThere will be no silly jokes in mycourtroom Mr Porcelli.
Let that be a warning to you.
Do you have anything else to addbefore I determine my verdict?
Lou stands up and gazes upwards.
86.
LOUBeam me up Scotty...
Judge slams his gavel.
JUDGE GRAVELLYI am charging you with one count ofContempt of Court.
You will spend two years in ClarkCounty.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don speaks into intercom.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, get in here.
Sandra appears.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Where's Lou?
SANDRAIt's a mystery sir. No one seems toknow anything.
Maybe he vaporized.
DON DYCKSTRANo time for jokes Sandra. This isserious stuff. We need to find outwhere he is.
I don't care if you have to callevery single hospital in Nevada, youhave to find out where he is.
SANDRAWhat about the mascot idea?
DON DYCKSTRAWorry about that later, find Lougoddammit.
87.
MONTH OF MAY - MONTAGE
Calendar of games?
Team loading into bus?
Umpire and coaches at home plate?
Star player running the bases.
Star pitcher pitching.
Opposition player running the bases.
Lots of swinging strikes.
Newspaper headlines (Las Vegas Observer; multiple headlinesto show passage of time and Stars dismal record)
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad and Jayne are watching the news.
NEWS ANCHORJust a few clouds in sky today, lookfor a shower or two tomorrow as wehead for the weekend.
And now, over to Petra Wawa for thelatest in sports.
PETRAYou think the weather is bad, haveyou seen the Star's play baseballlately?
They're sunk all the way down to thecellar now and there's not much hopein sight.
Jayne looks at Brad, who looks stunned.
PETRA (cont'd)They've got 2 days off once againbefore they leave on a twelve gameroad trip.
88.
INT. PRISON - LIBRARY
Sneaky is moving among the inmates collecting his winningsand making more bets.
He laughs at Kyrone.
Then turns and looks at Lou.
SNEAKY PETEWhy so glum Sweet Lou?
You should show some spirit and takea little piece of the action.
Kyrone here can show you the way!
He laughs hysterically.
Lou looks at him in disgust.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars practicing.
Jr in the cage once again and he misses the basketball asBrad watches.
Brad holds a ball out.
BRADTake your time.
Focus.
Jr takes his time and delivers.
He hits the basketball, knocking it off the tee.
Brad looks pleased.
INT. HOTEL - SANDRA'S DESK
Don walks past her desk and sees her doing a crosswordpuzzle.
89.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, what the hell are you doing!
We have no time to waste here doingstupid crossword puzzles.
Now get on that phone and finishmaking calls to every damn hospitalin Vegas.
We need to find out where Lou is!
end of part 5 **********************************************
INT. HOTEL - SANDRA'S DESK
(music only)
Sandra is flipping through the yellow pages.
On the phone.
More flipping.
More calling.
Parrot squawking.
MONTH OF JUNE - MONTAGE
Calendar of games.
Team loading into bus or on the road.
Umpire and coaches at home plate.
Still lots of swinging strikes.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Post game wrap up.
90.
DARRENSo another disappointing loss for theStars as they lose yet again and drop18 1/2 games out of first place and12 games out of a playoff spot.
SPARKYAltogether too many strikeoutsDarren. You can't strike out 15 timesin a nine inning game and expect towin.
This is just disgraceful!
I've never seen so many strikeouts inall my life!
DARRENWell, the Stars have two much neededdays off, so we'll see you allWednesday, when the Stars host theHawaiian Islanders.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars practicing.
Reg now has a soccer ball set up on the tee as Brad watches.
Joe approaches Brad.
JOE ROBINSONWhen's the beach ball coming out?
INT. COACHES ROOM
Three coaches are having a meeting.
COACH REGGood grief, if it wasn't for badluck, we wouldn't have any luck atall.
What the hell can we do to turn thisthing around?
91.
COACH HARLEYYa, we only lead the league in onething.
Strikeouts!
BRADOK, listen up. Our biggest issue isplate discipline.
We've gotta get back to basics.
I've got an idea. Harley, order up 3pizza's, one small, one medium andone large.
I gotta go.
Enjoy the pizza...and save the emptyboxes.
Brad exits while Reg and Harley look at each other.
INT. PRISON
Lou receives a letter.
He opens it and begins to read.
ALICIA (VO)Dear Lou, how are you? I hope you'redoing well.
I have a wheelchair now so I can'tplay umpire anymore, but I like it alot.
When I get better I want to go toAlaska.
(MORE)
92.
There are polar bears and walrusesALICIA (VO) (cont'd)
there.
Did you know that there are more than100,000 glaciers and you can see thenorthern lights about 200 times ayear!
In the summertime, the sun never goesdown so you can play baseball all dayand all night!
I hope you are calling all thecorners and never miss a strike.
See you soon.
Your friend, Alicia.
Lou sobs as he holds the letter in his hand.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - DRESSING ROOM
Players are seated as Brad takes center stage.
He is holding a bat and has a table positioned in front ofhim.
BRADOK boys, I'm gonna change the courseof this season, right here right now!
We're striking out way too manytimes.
Guys are swinging at fastballs up andout of the strike zone and slidersand curve-balls down in the dirt.
It has to stop and I have the answer.
It's all about pizza guys...
He looks around the room.
Some snickering.
He motions to Reg.
BRAD (cont'd)Reg, set up that small pizza box forme.
93.
Reg place the empty small pizza box on edge on the table.
Brad points at the pizza box.
BRAD (cont'd)You see, when you have no strikes,you want to protect a zone the sizeof this small pizza box.
You're not gonna swing at anythingoutside this area.
But if you see something coming intothis zone...you tear into it likethis.
He takes a might swing at the box and it crumples around thebat.
BRAD (cont'd)See?
You're a better hitter when you feaston pitches that are right in themiddle.
He motions to Reg again.
BRAD (cont'd)Gimme that medium box now Reg.
Reg sets the medium box on edge for Brad to hit.
BRAD (cont'd)Now, let's say you took a pitch thatwas just a bit outside that smallpizza box and Blue called a strike.
OK, no big deal...but now you gottaprotect a medium pizza.
And when a pitch comes into thatmedium pizza zone, you crush it likethis.
He takes a mighty swing and the box wraps around the bat.
He motions to Reg again.
Reg has a grin on his face as he places the large pizza boxon the table.
94.
BRAD (cont'd)Now, you gotta understand that bybeing so selective at the plate,you're gonna take a few more calledstrikes.
So, it's possible that you could windup having two strikes on you withouthaving even swung that bat.
But that's no problem at all causeall you have to do is make a smalladjustment.
Now you're gonna protect a zone thesize of this large pizza that Reg andHarley enjoyed last night.
So when a pitch enters this zone, youcrush it like this!
He takes a mighty swing.
Cardboard and pizza flies everywhere.
Brad looks shocked.
COACH REGNeither Harley or I like pineapple!
Everyone laughs.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don presses the intercom.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, come in and bring all yournotes.
Sandra appears.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Whatya got for me? Any good news?
Sandra places a sheet down on his desk.
95.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)What! You called a children'shospital?
What the hell is wrong with you? He'snot a child, he wouldn't be in afreaking children's hospital.
Can't you figure that out foryourself?
SANDRAWell, you told me to call all thehospitals.
Don jumps to his feet and slams his hand against the wall.
DON DYCKSTRAWe've got to find Lou.
We've got to find Lou!
MONTAGE - JULY
They win some, lose some.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars having a practice.
Jr is throwing at a volley ball on a tee.
(dialogue needed)
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Game in progress.
DARRENAnd that will bring slugger JoeRobinson to the plate with the basesloaded and 2 out.
Stars trail by just one run here, soa base hit should give the Stars amuch needed win.
SPARKYC'mon Joe, you can do it.
96.
INT. JAYNE'S KITCHEN
Jayne doing something.
(Sound effect ball being hit)
DARRENWell hit ball down the left fieldline but it's curving foul.
Jayne winces.
DARREN (cont'd)There's a pitch in the dirt, to evenup the count at 1-1
And that pitch is inside.
SPARKYBig Joe had to jump outa the way ofthat one. Maybe he should have takenone for the team.
Jayne looks sideways.
DARRENAnd there's another pitch inside andoff the plate.
Three and one now to big Joe.
SPARKYHitter's pitch coming up here Darren.I got a good feeling.
Jayne looks optimistic.
(sound effect ball being hit)
DARRENThere's a long fly ball hit to left!
It's going, going, aw...it's curvingfoul again.
SPARKYJoe got all of that one!
C'mon big Joe straighten one here andlet's go eat dinner.
Jayne raises eyebrows.
97.
DARRENOK full count to Robinson with thebases loaded here in the bottom ofthe ninth...Stars down by one.
There's the pitch...
Swing and a miss, he struck out!
Joe swings at a high pitch.
SPARKYAw for crying out loud!
Joe, that pitch was ball four!
Jayne looks disgusted.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Brad throws his hat down in disgust.
The team files off the field.
(music)
INT. COACHES ROOM
Brad is furious.
BRADThat does it, he's gotta go.
COACH REGWhat do you mean?
BRADI mean what I said.
He's gotta go.
Trade him for whatever we can get.
Harley looks at the clock on the wall.
COACH HARLEYWell, if you're gonna trade him youbetter hurry, cause the tradedeadline is midnight tonight.
Brad looks determined.
98.
BRADReg, get Bobby Smith on the lineright away.
Harley, who's our most likely tradingpartner?
COACH HARLEYProbably Phoenix. Neither of theircatchers hit much.
Reg is dialing.
BRADWho are their catchers?
They got Jonesy and that skinny kid,what's his name?
COACH HARLEYReid... Ralph Reid. He's greatdefensively but can't hit much.
BRADBut his defense is good?
COACH HARLEYYa, he leads the league in mostdefensive categories.
Batting only a buck twelve, but hison-base is decent. He walks a lot.
BRADHmmm, I like that.
What about pitching? We could use alittle more pitching depth.
Harley flips through his stats.
COACH HARLEYThey'd probably part with VinceTractor.
He's that knuckleball pitcher wefaced last month.
31 years old and he leads the leaguein innings pitched.
Reg is on hold with the phone.
99.
COACH REGHe probably leads the league in homeruns too!
COACH HARLEYNo, he's fifth in homers.
First in singles. He's a classicground ball pitcher.
Brad scratches his chin.
BRADHmmm...A ground ball pitcher wholeads the league in innings pitched.
I like him and I like that defensivecatcher.
COACH REGI got Bobby Smith on the line!
Reg hands the phone to Brad.
BRADMr Smith, how are ya?
GM BOBBY SMITHI'm fine Brad, but you better makethis quick, the trade deadline isforty minutes away and we got severaldeals in the works.
BRADI wanna trade Joe Robinson for twoguys; Vince Tractor and Ralph Reid.
GM BOBBY SMITHLet me get this straight. Did I hearyou right?
You want to trade Robinson forTractor and Reid?
BRADYes!
100.
GM BOBBY SMITHOK, let me get to work on this. Wehave a deal cooking with thatorganization as we speak, and thattrade would sweeten the pot in theirfavor.
Are you sure you want to go ahead onthis?
BRADAbsolutely!
GM BOBBY SMITHOK, if the deal is made, I'll notifythe media.
You might not hear about it tilltomorrow.
BRADGreat. Do your best. I really wantthose two guys!
He hangs up the phone and crosses his fingers.
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
It's morning and Sport's news is on TV.
PETRAWe've got the details on theblockbuster trade, apparently madelate last night minutes prior to thetrade deadline.
The Stars have traded MVP catcher JoeRobinson to Phoenix for knuckleballpitcher Vince Tractor and catcherRalph Reid.
101.
Jayne looks with amazement at Brad, who is preparing toleave.
She scurries away to her bedroom while Brad fills his travelcoffee mug.
Brad is at the door when Jayne appears with her track suiton and carrying a ball bag.
JAYNEI'm ready, let's go.
BRADWhadya mean?
JAYNEI'm ready to run a practice. Rememberour bet?
Brad looks shocked. He pauses in stunned silence for asecond.
They head out the door together.
INT. COACHES ROOM
All four coaches assemble in the room.
Brad looks slightly uncomfortable.
BRADGuys, this is my wife Jayne. She'llbe helping us out as an assistant.
She was a very successful softballcoach and was recently inducted intothe Texas A&M Hall of Fame.
Reg raises an eyebrow.
COACH REGAre the new guys gonna be throwingunderhand?
JAYNEI'd like to be responsible forcoaching the outfield if you fellowsdon't mind.
102.
COACH REGOutfield coach!
That's a first for the Las VegasStars.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENHello baseball fans and welcome tofirst day of August the and first dayafter the trade deadline.
And Sparky, we have some big newsthat came as a bit of shocker,wouldn't you say?
SPARKYYou can say that again Darren. Whosaw this coming?
The Stars trade away their MVPcatcher for a catcher, who's hittinga buck-twelve - and an aging knuckle-ball pitcher, who leads the league inhits surrendered!
I guess we got a draft pick thrownin, but I guess this means we'vegiven up on this season!
DARRENWell, on the bright side Sparky,catcher Reid is an excellentdefensive catcher and Vince Tractoris a work horse that can eat up a lotof innings.
That's gonna help save everyone'sarms down the stretch.
And we're gonna have a look at bothof them today, as Bellows has thrownboth of them into the starting lineuptoday.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Ralph Reid gets ready behind the plate.
Vince Tractor is on the mound.
103.
Dukes lead-off hitter steps into the box.
DARRENAnd here we go...
MONTAGE - 9 INNINGS
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENThat one's high and outside for ballfour.
So the Dukes have the bases loadednow as the Stars desperately hang onto a one-run lead.
There's one out.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Jayne steps out of the dugout carrying an infielder's glove.
SPARKYWhat's this?
What's going on?
DARRENIt looks like a woman in a Star'suniform is out on the field.
SPARKYShe's got a glove.
What the hell?
DARRENI think it's Bellow's wife.
Left fielder Wayne Shepherd is jogging in towards Jayne.
DARREN (cont'd)Shep is coming in...
They're swapping gloves!
Oh my god, they're gonna go with afive man infield!
104.
SPARKYI don't believe my own eyes.
I haven't seen this since littleleague!
DARRENYup, that's what they're doing.Sheppy is stationed at third base.Dux has moved over to shortstopposition.
Singh is now behind second base,playing up the middle.
And Pete and Fergie has the outfieldall to themselves!
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
SPARKYOh man, those gaps out there are asbig as the Grand Canyon.
If they hit one out there it'll clearthe bases.
DARRENTractor still on the mound. He'strying to claim his first completegame victory here as a Star, but theDukes are threatening to bust it openas they have loaded the bases withjust one out.
(sound effect)
DARREN (cont'd)There's a base hit up the middle.
No, Singh has it!
He flips to Willie...
Willie to Shooter...
A double play!
105.
SPARKYHoly macaroni, spaghetti and meatballs!
It worked!
MONTAGE - AUGUST
Calendar of games.
Stars running the bases.
Jayne calling more 5-man's
INT. PRISON - LIBRARY
Lou is watching Petra's sports.
PETRAIt's a great time to be a baseballfan and an especially great time tobe a female baseball fan.
The Las Vegas Stars have seeminglyturned a corner, in part due to theirhiring of a female coach.
Kyrone approaches Lou.
KYRONELou, I need a little help. SneakyPete is cleaning me out. Can you helpme with some picks?
Lou nods.
KYRONE (cont'd)Here's the list of today's games andstarting pitchers.
LOUWhere are the catcher's names?
Kyrone looks puzzled.
KYRONECatchers? What diff does that make?
LOUYou want me to help?
I need the catchers.
106.
LOU (cont'd)Can you get a copy of the Observer'ssports section?
KYRONEYa, I guess I could.
LOUOK, get the paper, it'll list thestarting battery. I need to knowwho's catching.
Kyrone nods.
KYRONEAlright.
Kyrone returns with a copy of the paper.
Lou studies it for a few minutes.
(music)
Lou circles one game and passes paper back to Kyrone.
LOUSox over the Indians.
Mayson pitching to Podmore and youget a run and a half.
It's a no-brainer!
Bet it all, you can't lose.
KYRONEReally?
LOUYup, go for it.
Get everybody together and pile itall on that game.
(music)
Kyrone scurries about telling everyone the news and securinglots of bets.
Kyrone goes to Sneaky Pete with a pile of money andcigarettes.
107.
Sneaky Pete on the phone.
Don at the other end.
The inmates all gathered around the tv with the game on.
MONTAGE - 9 INNINGS SOX VS INDIANS
Inmates all jump for joy as Sox win.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don on the phone and he's livid.
DON DYCKSTRAWho's the fuckin' cherry picker inthere putting all the money on onegame?
SNEAKY PETESome guy named Lou, I hear he used tobe an umpire.
Don's eyes widen.
DON DYCKSTRAWhat!
Lou who?
SNEAKY PETEI'm not sure...Lou spaghetti orsomething like that.
DON DYCKSTRALou Porcelli?
SNEAKY PETEYa, that's him.
DON DYCKSTRAHoly crap!
What's he in for?
When's he getting out?
SNEAKY PETEAs far as I know, it's for possessionand there's some kind of issue with aparole board or something.
108.
DON DYCKSTRADo you know what his bail is set at?
SNEAKY PETEFifty grand I believe.
DON DYCKSTRAGotcha.
Listen, keep an eye on him and get toknow him best you can.
In the meantime, tell those fuckersI'm not paying. It's illegal forinmates in a Federal penitentiary togamble and the funds are beingwithheld.
SNEAKY PETEThey're not gonna like that!
DON DYCKSTRAToo bad. I don't like cherry pickers,especially when they're a bunch ofinmates.
Now find out what you can about Lou.I wanna know everything. What helikes, what he doesn't, how bad hewants to get out.
You hear me?
Everything!
Don hangs up the phone.
Sandra appears at the doorway.
SANDRAMaybe he's been transferred to thatspecial hospital in L.A.?
DON DYCKSTRANo. I found him.
SANDRAWhere?
109.
DON DYCKSTRANever mind. I just found him.
Now get back to your desk.
Find a mascot for Tommy!
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENWelcome the last home of the regularseason baseball fans.
SPARKYHope is faint Darren, but the Starsstill have a chance to make theplayoffs but they need this win tokeep their hopes alive.
MONTAGE - 9 INNINGS
Stars win
DARRENThe Bonecrusher retires the last 3outs in order and that'll do it forthe regular season here at CashmanField.
SPARKYNow the Stars have to sweep theirfinal 4 games in Hawaii in order tocatch the Albuquerque Dukes for thefinal playoff spot.
INT. HOTEL - DON' OFFICE
Don is on the phone with Tommy.
DON DYCKSTRATommy, I got some good news for ya!
We can get you a mascot. Ya, Sandrahas done a lot of work and researchedthe whole subject of mascots.
(MORE)
110.
You know, the production, theDON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)
marketing, all the feasibilitystudies and all that kinda stuff.
You know, the whole nine yards. She'sreally on top of this and has somereally interesting possibilities.
The idea has some real potentialTommy. I never realized it was such abig deal until Sandra gave me all thenumbers.
It's gonna cost some money thoughTommy, you understand that correct?
Tommy's at home in his wife beater undershirt.
TOMMY FINSKARSOK, I can see it costing some money.
Exactly how much?
DON DYCKSTRASandra's done up the numbers andwe're gonna need exactly 55,000.
Can't do it for any less than thatTommy.
If we're gonna do this, we gotta doit right. Many of the pro teams haveapparently spend two and even threetimes that amount, but Sandra says wecan get it done for just 55K.
What you say we get this going rightaway Tommy.
We can have it ready by the time theplayoffs start.
We're gonna fill those stands for yaTommy!
TOMMY FINSKARS55K and not a penny less huh?
How long will it take to get thecostume ready and actually have itperforming at the field?
111.
DON DYCKSTRAOh, I'm sure Sandra could have thatall looked after in 2 or 3 days max!
TOMMY FINSKARSOK, I'm going to wait to make surethe club makes the playoffs - theygotta sweep that series in Hawaii youknow - and then I'll give it the goahead.
DON DYCKSTRAThat's great news Tommy...I know theboys are gonna sweep that series...Hawaii's got no pitching!
They hang up.
INT. HOTEL - SANDRA'S DESK
Don leaves his office and marches to see Sandra.
DON DYCKSTRASandra, Sandra, red alert, red alert!
You gotta get to work on this rightnow. Tommy needs a mascot in time forthe playoffs.
You gotta make the costume, or findsomebody to make it, find a performerto get inside it, or maybe you'llhave to get inside it yourself, butyou gotta get this done.
Tommy has agreed to provide you abudget of five thousand dollars.
You gotta get it all done for 5K, nota penny more.
So get to work, get on that phone, dowhat you gotta do, but get it doneand get that costume ready and havethat mascot at the first playoffgame!
Don leaves.
112.
Sandra is at a loss.
She shares her misery with her parrot.
The parrot squawks.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Stars practicing.
Jr now throwing at a baseball on the tee.
He hits it!
(dialogue needed)
INT. HOTEL - SANDRA'S DESK
She's still searching for a mascot.
The parrot squawks.
Sandra's eyes light up.
SANDRAThat's it!
Of course!
Why didn't we think of this sooner?
We'll have a parrot mascot!
Parrot squawks with glee.
EXT. AIRPORT - HAWAII
(music)
The team is exiting the plane.
A host is placing Hawaiian lei necklaces around each playersneck.
The players load into team bus.
Exit cabs and enter hotel.
Exit hotel and enter team bus.
113.
Exit bus and file into stadium.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH - HAWAII
Darren and Sparky are both sporting lei's
DARRENHello baseball fans and welcome tothe final four games of the regularseason from the beautiful state ofHawaii, where the Stars still have achance to make the playoffs - butneed a four game sweep of theIslanders, who haven't been sharplately Sparky.
SPARKYThat's right Darren. The Islandershave been struggling with pitchingproblems and the Stars are set upperfectly for this four game serieswith Jr getting the nod for game one,Lefty Gareau in game two, Billy"roundhouse" Hillhouse in game three,and then Johnny Hammer for game four.
MONTAGE - 4 GAMES
Jr pitching.
Stars win game 1.
Gareau pitching.
Stars win game 2.
Hillhouse pitching.
Stars win game 3
Hammer pitching.
Stars win game 4.
Stars celebrate!
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don watching the final game on tv.
Leaps to his feet in celebration.
114.
Picks up the phone and calls Sneaky.
DON DYCKSTRAPete, listen.
I've got the 50K to bail out Lou, butthere's a condition attached.
He's gotta work with me.
When he gets back behind the plate,he's gotta squeeze the strike zoneaccording to my demands.
Can you relay that info to him andthen get back to me right away?
I need to know right away.
SNEAKY PETESure, I can tell him that.
INT. PRISON
(music - House of the Rising Sun)
Pete walks down the hallway.
Arrives at Lou's cell.
Lou is seated.
Pete is standing and speaking down to him.
Lou looks unimpressed.
Pete holds his hands upward as if asking "Well, do youaccept"
Lou grasps his indicator, looks sideways and upward at Petesuggesting the answer is no.
Pete leaves.
INT. PRISON
(music)
Lou is sitting alone in his cell.
Mailman delivers a letter.
115.
Lou opens it.
NURSE WENDY (VO)Dear Lou, as requested this letter isto advise you of the passing ofAlicia yesterday at 5pm.
She was always happy and held herpassion for baseball and umpiringuntil the very end.
Thank you for caring.
Nurse Wendy
Lou drops the letter.
The letter rests on the floor.
Lou holds his head with both hands.
Sobs for a minute.
Then leaps to his feet, picks up his indicator, and hurls itagainst the concrete wall.
The indicator shatters.
LOU(to himself)I owe baseball nothing.
He calls for Pete.
He accepts the deal.
end of part 6 **********************************************
end of Act II *********************************************
(1st rough draft complete to this point)
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Petra's sports is on tv.
The Star have made the playoffs via an unexpected 4 gamesweep of the Hawaiian Islanders
Now advance to face Phoenix in a five game series.
116.
She may mention the mascot will be in attendance.
Brad is reading the morning newspaper.
He mentions that the oddsmakers have the series at even.
(Brad and Jayne may discuss "smart money")
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky are setting up game 1.
DARRENSo, that's all the good news, nowwhat do you have there for us Sparky?
Sparky has a copy of the Phoenix Scoop Newspaper.
SPARKYI'm a little concerned Darren.
A Phoenix sports reporter interviewedJoe Robinson recently.
Joe claims he knows all our player'sweaknesses.
And he's right!
Singer can't hit the curveball.
Joe knows!
DARRENWell, Joe might know our hitters butRalph Reid is gonna know theirhitters as well, so not to worry.
MONTAGE - GAME ONE & TWO - PHOENIX
Phoenix wins both.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky summarize.
Stars are down 0-2 and facing elimination.
117.
INT. PHOENIX DRESSING ROOM
PETRAHow are you feeling right now Joe?
JOE ROBINSONIt's so great riding the wave ofwinning!
He takes a drink of champagne.
PETRAAre you celebrating already?
JOE ROBINSONYa, why not? I know everything aboutevery one of their hitters. They'redone like dinner.
PETRAHave you heard that the Star's hireda female coach. What do you think ofthat Joe?
JOE ROBINSONYa, I heard they hired Bellow's wifeas an assistant coach. You know what?They'd be better off to let her runthe whole show.
Joe laughs.
CUT TO:
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - CLUBHOUSE
Ralph is the first to arrive in the player's room and he hasa copy of the newspaper that has Joe's quote.
He greets each player as they arrive and shows them thequote.
Several of them are scheming and declaring that Joe must beconed.
Jr is quick to offer his support.
Others offer their support.
118.
RALPH REIDOK, listen up. Here's how we're gonnado this.
First, I'm gonna tell him he's goingto wear one as soon as he enters thebox.
Then Jr has to hit him on the nextpitch. Preferably on his left cheek.
Then once he gets to first base,Shooter will tell him why.
Jr, Shooter, and Ralph all high five.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENWhat a glorious day for baseball wehave today as the Stars get set tohost the Phoenix Giants.
Jr Worth gets the start on the moundfor the Stars, and he'll be facinghis former catcher, Joe Robinson, whowas part of that blockbuster trade.
SPARKYThe jury is still out on who won thattrade Darren, but we've heard thatPhoenix is thrilled to have added anMVP catcher like Robinson to theirroster.
DARRENYes, that's true and apparently thecoaching staff of the Stars feel thatTractor and Reid have both helpedmake the entire pitching staff moreeffective.
SPARKYJoe will be batting third so we'llsee that match-up between Jr and Joein the first inning Darren.
CUT TO:
Scoreboard shows 2 out in the top of the first inning.
119.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Joe Robinson strolls to the plate.
Joe digs in as Ralph looks up at him.
RALPHHey Joe, you're gonna wear this firstpitch.
JOE ROBINSONYa right. Jr couldn't hit a target ifhe aimed at it.
Jr looks in for the signal.
Jr winds and fires.
Joe takes it square on the left cheek.
UMPIRE #2Take your base.
Joe jogs down towards first base.
Shooter looks him square in the eye.
SHOOTERWanna know why you wore that one Joe?
JOE ROBINSONWhy?
SHOOTERYou insulted Brad by sayin' Jayneshould be running the whole show.
Joe's eye's light up with fury.
He charges towards Jr on the mound.
The bench players leap out of the dugout and charge Joe.
They dogpile on top of him.
Some Phoenix players arrive, but it's too little too late.
Joe emerges from the pile somewhat bloodied.
The Star players look victorious.
MONTAGE - NINE INNINGS
120.
Stars win.
EXT. PRISON
Lou is being released.
He waves goodbye to Kyrone and the guys.
He mounts his bike.
Lou is traveling down road (traversing both worlds)
Passes a church.
Also a graveyard.
EXT. HOTEL
Arrives at hotel and winds his way down into the parkade.
In the elevator and up to his suite.
INT. LOU'S BATHROOM
He shaves, leaving sideburns.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky set the stage.
The mascot is having fun and the fans love it.
MONTAGE - GAME 4
Stars win.
MONTAGE - GAME 5
Stars win.
Mascot celebrating.
Fans on the field.
121.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky wrap up the series.
Set the stage for the Vancouver series.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - DRESSING ROOM
Team celebrating.
(Brad should say a few words)
(Star presentations)
INT. LOU'S BALCONY
Lou sits alone.
End of part 7.....................................
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad is reading the morning paper and notices the odds
He mentions that to Jayne.
Some discussion about "smart money"
First two games will be in Vancouver, last three in Vegas
MONTAGE - TRIP TO VANCOUVER
(music)
Team loading into airplane.
Airplane above the clouds.
Landing in Vancouver.
Filing into airport.
Getting into team bus.
Arriving at hotel.
Partying.
Getting into team bus with only ball bags.
122.
Arriving at park.
Warming up on the field.
INT. NAT BAILEY - ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky in new surroundings.
(They set the stage for the series)
MONTAGE - GAME ONE VS CANADIANS
Stars lose.
MONTAGE - GAME TWO VS CANADIANS
Stars win.
MONTAGE - GAME THREE VS CANADIANS
Stars lose.
MONTAGE - RETURN TO VEGAS
(music)
Exiting hotel.
Boarding airplane.
Flying above clouds.
Landing in Vegas.
Loading into cabs.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don is on the phone with Craig Donaldson.
DON DYCKSTRAWe can't accomodate any more umpiresCraig, we're plum full, and I knoweveryone else is too. It's festivalweek.
Lou Porcelli is here though. He'swell rested in our penthouse suite.
(MORE)
123.
I thought for sure you'd be goingDON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)
with him behind the plate in thefinal two games.
I know he's counting on it. He'sready to go!
CAMERA ZOOMS OUT
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad is reading the newspaper.
Jayne is watching Petra's sports.
Brad notices the odds are 3:2 in favor of the Stars.
He's pleasantly surprised as the "smart money" is betting onthe Stars.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky set the stage for game 4
Sweet Lou gets the nod behind home plate.
Billy "Roundhouse" Hillhouse will get the start for theStars.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - UMPIRES ROOM
(music)
Lou getting dressed
He has sideburns now
He leads the crew down the hallway
Then out onto the field
MONTAGE - FIRST 7 INNINGS
Hillhouse throwing.
Lou calling strikes.
124.
Stars scoring.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
After 7 1/2 innings, catcher Ralph Reid is headed towardsthe dugout.
Brad intercepts him and wants a word.
BRADHow's Billy looking? Can he finishthis?
RALPH REIDAbsolutely. He's got everythingworking and Blue is giving him a nicewide zone.
He can't miss!
BRADGreat, that's what I wanted to hear.We can save all our arms for thefinal tomorrow.
MONTAGE - LAST 2 INNINGS
Hillhouse throwing.
Lou calling strikes.
Final score: Stars 5, Canadians 0
INT. JAYNE'S TV ROOM
Brad reading newspaper and sees the odds have moved and arenow 2:1, but this time is favor of the Canadians.
She asks why do odds change.
He replies that it's because there are more bets one waythan the other so the odds makers make an adjustment.
125.
It looks like the so called "smart money" is betting againstus.
That is odd because Jr Worth will be starting and ourbullpen is fresh.
INT. HOTEL - DON'S OFFICE
Don is watching Petra's morning sports
PETRAAnd the Star's seemed to turn theseason around when they were thefirst to hire a female coach.
Don snickers as he stands up, turns off the tv, puts on abaseball cap and heads out.
MONTAGE - DON HEADS TO HIS PERCH
(evil music)
He leaves hotel.
Enters a cab.
Rides through Vegas.
Approaches Cashman Field.
Exits cab.
Enters stadium.
Climbs stairway.
Enters his "perch" high above the playing field.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Sandra ordering hot dog.
Having fun with the crowd.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - COACHES ROOM
-final thoughts on strategy?
-Jayne's book need to be finished?
126.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky are doing their pre-game show
Jr Worth will be starting this final game and hopefully cancontinue his dominance.
The umpire for tonight's game will be Sweet Lou Porcelli
20 minutes till game time and we can't wait
commercial break; New Coke advertisement
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Umpires and managers meet at home plate.
Lou takes charge.
Brad and Lou eyeball each other.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - TEAM MEETING
Brad calls the guys into a circle
Says a few words
Last word is a warning that Sweet Lou is behind the dish sonobody say a word to him
Players nod in agreement.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
Darren and Sparky set the stage.
Jr Worth is the starting pitcher.
MONTAGE - FIRST SEVEN INNINGS
Lou calls a ball
Don seen smirking
Jr Worth get swinging strike
Don seen grimacing (may say "don't swing")
Teams swap runs
127.
Lou squeezing strike zone on Stars
Ralph is biting his tongue
Stars take a one run lead.
Plenty of Canadians striking out swinging.
DON DYCKSTRAFor the love of god, stop swingingthe bat!
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD - SIDELINES
Brad intercepts Ralph once again.
BRADHow's he looking?
RALPH REIDYou mean Jr?
He's great! But Blue is brutal! He'snot giving us anything.
We just keep busting them inside withthe heater and then changing up toget the clean miss.
He's got both pitches working like acharm, but that friggin' ump won't...
Brad cuts him off in mid sentence.
BRADListen, I'm suspicious he's incahoots with some gamblers.
The odds on today's game shifted alot in our favor, so somebody couldbe making a lot of money bettingagainst us.
Ralph looks stunned.
RALPH REIDWhat should I do?
BRADKeep doing what you're doing.
It's working...
128.
Brad jokingly slaps him on the shoulder.
MONTAGE - LAST TWO INNINGS
Lots of Jr pitching.
Jayne's 5-man infield.
Double play turned.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - DON'S PERCH
Don looks frustrated.
DON DYCKSTRALord in heaven, someone, please...
Tell them to stop swinging thefucking bat.
Just stop!
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENFive long months of baseball with onehundred and fifty-four games, andit's boiled down to one half inning.
We're just three outs away from aleague championship!
SPARKYThree outs seems like an eternityright now Darren.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Scoreboard shows Stars 1, Canadians 0
Close up of Jr on pitcher's mound
Lou has been squeezing zone, Jr is sweating
Facing the speedy lead off hitter
DARRENJr Worth still pitching and trying toclose this one out.
129.
Jr throws and pitch appears to catch corner
Lou calls ball.
SPARKYHome plate umpire Porcelli beingpretty stingy it seems with thosecorners.
Don is sitting in his perch.
He pumps his fist
MONTAGE OF CANADIANS WALKING BASES LOADED
(suspenseful music)
Many pitches, many called balls.
Bases loaded.
Scoreboard shows two out.
Ball one.
Swinging strike.
Ball two.
Swinging strike.
Ball three.
INT. ANNOUNCERS BOOTH
DARRENCan you believe it?
The bases are loaded!
The count is full!
There's two out!
The Stars are one out away from achampionship, but only one swing awayfrom falling behind here in the 9thinning.
Brad steps out of the dugout.
He begins walking towards the mound.
130.
SPARKYHere comes Bellows. He wants a wordwith his pitcher.
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Meeting on the mound between Brad, Jr, and Ralph.
Brad looks at Ralph.
BRADHow's his stuff.
RALPH REIDSpot on
Jr interjects.
JR WORTHBlue's not giving me nuthin' skipper.
I keep hitting my spots and he ain'tcallin' nuthin'!
Brad looking at Jr.
BRADOK, just keep breathing and take yourtime.
Brad turns and faces Ralph.
BRAD (cont'd)Speak to Lou.
Ralph looks surprised.
RALPH REIDHuh? You want me to talk to Blue?
BRADYa.
First, set your spot where you wantit, over the edge, just like always.
Show it to him.
Then ask him if it's a strike.
Find out where his zone is.
131.
Brad then turns and looks to Jr.
BRAD (cont'd)The glove.
Focus on the glove.
Just hit the glove, that's all yougotta do.
The meeting breaks up and Brad returns to dugout.
Ralph journies back to the catcher's box.
Ralph sets up with his target over the inside corner.
He leans his head to one side and speaks over his shoulderto Lou.
RALPH REIDIs this a strike?
Lou is stunned.
He steps out from behind the plate.
LOUTime!
The Phoenix player and Ralph both look back at Lou.
Lou is hiding his face from them.
Up close we see tears welling in his eyes.
The two players approach him as if to help.
He brushes them away.
LOU (cont'd)Damn black flies!
He motions them back to their boxes.
LOU (cont'd)Play ball!
Ralph has the target set.
Jr is focusing.
Jr delivers.
132.
Ball flying straight towards target.
Ball smacks right into the glove.
Lou flies into his trademark punch
LOU (cont'd)Strike !!!
Stars dugout erupts.
DARRENThat's it, that's it.
Stars win, Stars win.
INT. CASHMAN FIELD - DON'S PERCH
Don is shocked, then angry
DON DYCKSTRAWhat the fuck?!
He picks up the phone.
DON DYCKSTRA (cont'd)Kill him!
You hear me?
I want his head on a fucking pike!
end of part 8 *****************************************
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Jr and Ralph embrace.
Star players race to the mound to join celebration.
Fans race onto the field.
Mascot too.
Inmates cheer!
Lou looks to the exit gate and sees the thugs eagerlywaiting for him.
He pauses as they begin to come towards him.
133.
He turns and walks away from them.
They run after him.
Lou runs into a crowd of fans.
Sandra in the mascot costume is there too.
She steps out of costume and offers it to Lou.
Lou steps into costume.
Don sees it all from his perch.
Lou, inside the costume, makes his way through the crowd.
Don picks up the phone (or walkie talkie)
DON DYCKSTRAHello, hello?
Pick up for fuck sakes!
The thugs are confused, Lou has vanished.
Don is screaming into phone and pointing at the mascot,which is nearing the exit gate to the parking lot.
He throws the phone and exits his perch.
Races down the stairs.
Lou is racing to the right field gate, which exits into theparking lot.
Kids are following Lou in the costume.
Lou has to stop and close the gate to prevent the kids fromfollowing.
Don is racing against the exiting crowd.
Lou finally gets the gate closed.
He steps out of the costume and races for his bike.
Don races to meet Lou at his bike.
Lou gets there first.
He jumps on his bike and kicks the starter.
He's about to kick again, when Don tackles him.
134.
Fight ensues.
They trade punches.
Lou is knocked down.
While on the ground, he sees his indicator.
He tries to pick it up but Don kicks him the ribs and herolls over.
Don kicks again but misses and Lou is able to get up.
They trade punches.
Don's head is very hard...punches are not having any effect.
Lou is knocked down.
Once again, he can see his indicator.
This time he is able to grap it and get up to face Don.
He grips the indicator in his right fist.
The two dance and stalk each other.
Lou sees an opening and launches a hail Mary punch.
It connects on Don's nose.
Blood splatters.
Don keels over.
Lou picks up his bike.
He fires it up.
Off he goes...
EXT. CASHMAN FIELD
Petra wants to interview Brad
Brad begins to answer a question but gets a pie in the facefrom Ralph.
Jayne comes to help Brad wipe pie off face
They both get doused with gatorade
135.
Lou escapes on his bike with his three coins, now worth$300,000
Brad and Jayne embrace at home plat e as the camera zoomsout to show ballpark disappearing to the tune of "EverybodyWants to Rule the World" (Tears for Fears)
As credits roll, Lou rides on open highway to the tune of"I'm just a Gigalo" (David Lee Roth)
Message on screen:
This is not a true story, but it could be.
136.
