Brockville Mcguffys News Vol 5 Issue 32

Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location?Call Jon at McGu�y’s News

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June 30, 2012

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5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

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Empowering ThoughtsSelf-respect is the fruit of discipline ~ Abraham J. HeschelHe that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. ~ Henry Wadsworth LongfellowNo man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. ~ George Bernard ShawAn excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. ~ Pope John Paul I

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. ~ Jim Roh

Sales--Service--Installation

Playmatesgeorge knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s

mother answered he asked, “can albert come out to play?”“no,” said the mother, “it’s too cold.”“Well, then,” said george, “can his football come out to play?”

Best Boot Forwarda company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new ceO. This new

boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the ceO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The

room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!The ceO walks up to the guy and asks, “and how much money do you

make a week?” undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “i make $300.00 a week. Why?”

The ceO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now get Out and don’t come back!”

feeling pretty good about his first firing, the ceO looks around the room and asks “does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from across the street.”

Be Yourself

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matterand those who matter don't mind. ~ dr. Seuss

Become An Astronautnot every astronaut has a Phd or is a member of menSa. The mini-

mum education requirement to be eligible as an astronaut candidate is a Bachelor’s degree.

considering how many photos astronauts take during the course of a spaceflight, a Photography degree might come in handy! disregarding Honorary doctorates bestowed, the highest education for all seven origi-nal mercury astronauts was a Bachelor’s degree. The first astronaut with a master’s degree to fly was ed White, the united State’s first space-walker, on gemini 4. The first person to fly in space with a Phd was Buzz aldrin, who earned a doctorate of astronautics at mit.

Qui

ck

fact an ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

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For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in renishing Old Wood Floors

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Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com

Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

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Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.

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Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

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HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

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MAYFIELDRETIREMENT RESIDENCE

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Ignorance Is No Disgrace

Punny

Daffy Affirmations For The Unstable

The little brother of an army radar operator asked: “Jim, tell me how does radar work?”

“The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel to the target and back can be determined with a great degree of accuracy, it is possible to determine the range to the target as well as the direction to it.”

His brother pondered a moment, and then said: “as long as you don’t know, Jim, why don’t you just say so?”

did you hear that naSa recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ‘round the world.

Silly

Q

uote Show me a sane man and i will cure him for you.

~ carl gustav Jung

i honor my personality flaws, for without them i would have no personality at all.

Qui

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rid

dle

Texting

Substantial Credibility

Q: What kind of dog tells time? answer:

a watch dog.

unexpected set backs happen all the time. So how do we turn some of these ‘lemons into lemonade’ as it were? tell the truth in your marketing when you have a set back. Here’s a good example;

James Webb young started selling fruit by mail order many years ago. He tells the story of an apple-growing season where he was nearly ruined. Vio-lent hail storms bombarded his apple trees with ice pellets, causing bruising and pock marks. He feared massive complaints and returns if he shipped the bruised fruit to his mail order apple buyers. But if he didn't ship the damaged apples, he would have to refund all the orders, and his mail order business would be ruined. The apples were damaged only cosmetically. The hail had pockmarked the skin, but this did not affect the flavour or freshness.

young went ahead and filled his orders with the pockmarked apples, and in each box shipped, enclosed a pre-printed card that read something like this: "note the pockmarks on some of these apples. This is proof that they are grown at a high mountain altitude, where the same extreme cold that causes sudden hailstorms also firms the flesh and increases the natural sugars, making the apples even sweeter." according to young, not a single order was returned. in fact, when orders came in for next year, many order forms had handwritten notes that said, "Pockmarked apples if available; otherwise, the regular kind."

Often, by being truthful about your problems, you can gain substantial cred-ibility with your buyer, increasing loyalty, sales, and customer satisfaction.

Top Senior Texting Codes

* atd - at the doctor’s * Bff - Best friend’s funeral * BtW - Bring the Wheelchair * ByOt - Bring your Own teeth * dWi - driving While incontinent * fWiW - forgot Where i Was * fyi - found your insulin

* lOl - living on lipitor * rOfl...cgu - rolling on the floor laughing...can’t get up! * tOt - texting on toilet * WWnO - Walker Wheels need Oil Hope these help. gglki (gotta go, laxative kicking in!)

♪ Music Notes ♫Jeanne louise calment’s cd was released on her 121st birthday in 1996.

titled “time’s mistress” it features ms calment reminiscing to a score of rap music and other tunes.

Biggest ManThe biggest man in the union army was

capt. david Van Buskirk of the 27th indi-ana regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a richmond Prison where a confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit.

even confederate President Jeff davis came to see him and was astounded when the imp-ish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington indiana, “when i was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. as i was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head.”

Second BeginningsChildren’s and Maternity Consignment Store

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Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

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Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

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Spotlight on

�e OlympicsDid you know? �e Olympics were strictly for men, as far as the athletics and combat sports were concerned. Women weren't even allowed to watch. However, women might compete in the equestrian events, but only by proxy as owners of the horses and chariots. �e �rst woman victor on record was a Spartan princess.

One reason for their exclusion, perhaps, was that the athletes, boxers and wrestlers all competed in the nude. �e ancient Greek word for "to exercise" meant literally "to be stark naked".

Tug-of-war used to be part of the Olympics. Tug-of-war was on the Olympic program in 1900, 1904, 1906 (Intercalated Games), 1908, 1912 and 1920. Tug-of-war was always contested as a part of the track and �eld athletics program, although it is now considered a separate sport. �e Olympic champions were as follows: 1900: a combined Swedish/Danish team; 1904: an American club team representing the Milwaukee Athletic Club; 1906: Germany/Switzerland; 1908: a British team from the City of London Police Club; 1912: Sweden; and 1920: Great Britain.

�e Ancient Olympics started over 2500 years ago and were held in Olympia. In 1896, the �rst Modern Olympics were held in Athens.

�e oldest man to compete in the Summer Olympic Games was Oscar Swahn of Sweden in shooting (1908, 1912, and 1920). Oscar Swahn became the oldest gold medalist when he won gold at 64 years and 280 days old in 1912, and the oldest medallist when he won silver in 1920 aged 72 years, 281 days old. �e oldest woman to compete in the Olympics was British rider Lorna Johnstone, who participated in Equestrian at the 1972 Olympic Games at 70 years old and 5 days.

I Can Make This PuttPhil Beale, a member at gudge Heath golf club, has a 60 foot break-

ing putt and makes a bet stating that he has a dollar that says, ‘i can make this putt.’

everyone takes him up on the bet. Phil duly misses the putt by 5 feet and says, ‘you all owe me a dollar.’

Of course, his golf mates all think he is crazy until Phil produces a dollar upon which he wrote, ‘i can make this putt.’

Words To Live By

all people smile in the same language.

CRO

SSW

ORD

maid

Across1. an apron4. Throw away5. make not wet8. Sliding storage bins9. make repeated strokes 12. make neat14. use an abrasive

15. Woolen floor covering16. Spot18. free from obstruc-tionDown1. comet or Bon ami2. Place for cars3. Thread of a spider

6. electric carpet sweeper7. Wash clothing8. Thin film of dirt10. garret11. clean with hard rubbing13. clean with water

Occupational Hymn FavsThe dentist's Hymn ...................... crown Him With many crowns The Weatherman's Hymn ........... There Shall Be Showers of BlessingThe contractor's Hymn .................... The church's One foundationThe golfer's Hymn ........................ There is a green Hill far away

The Politician's Hymn .................... Standing on the PromisesThe Optometrist's Hymn ................... Open my eyes That i might See

The tax agent's Hymn ..................... i Surrender allThe gossip's Hymn ........................ Pass it On

The electrician's Hymn ................... Send the light

Friends Like These

Science Answers From KidsWhen people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.

When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

a skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South american folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, “let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?”

Too Long In SaskatchewwanYou know you’ve been in Saskatchewan too long when..• losing sight of the horizon, for even a few seconds,

leaves you with a feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day.

• you’re confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals and yet, obvious options like trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras.

• you actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines.

• you rent off-season storage space for your snow-mobile on a week-by-week basis.

• you sort your laundry into three loads: greens; whites; and green and whites.

• your other vehicle is a massey.• you’ve required a total of 40 stitches over the years

for various lacerations suffered while doing the butterfly at wedding dances.

• every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need a new curling broom.

Sudoku Solution crossword Solution

Bizarre Traffic Laws Pedestrians have the right of way in most places, but

some laws go even further. in Sarasota, fla., drivers are discouraged not to hit pedestrians (or you’ll be fined $78). it’s against the law to come within 50 metres of a ped-estrian crossing the street in Singapore. The opposite seems true in Beijing. There, drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings are liable to be fined up to five yuan — or less than a canadian dollar — or be issued a warning.

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Adam FishOwner

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The Canadian Hearing Society

• improve communication • improve safety in your home

• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

Phone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205

Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Itrix

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200

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• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary

ColemanOwner

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP Golden Soles

Gift CertificatesAvailable 46 King St East, Brockville, On

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6 Beverly StreetSpencerville, ON.613-658-31011-888-370-9859www.thestovestore.netthestovestore@ripnet.com

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Business Service - Local Lines - $24.95 - Business Systems - Network Installation

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Four Season Family FitnessYour In-Home Fitness Specialist!

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A Fresh Perspective

John G. Miller author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’, http://www.qbq.com/ denver, Colorado, uSa 303-286-9900 [email protected]

QBQ! and Adoption i am the eldest of seven miller children and am the "youth face" of the QBQ,

inc. team. if a group wants to bring our QBQ! message to young people "live," i am the one who does it. i spoke to a group of 4th through 12th graders at a “Bring your child to Work” day at navy federal credit union. Star, the adorable 4th grade daughter of my client, came up to me after i taught QBQ and asked, “ms. kristin? do your younger sisters ever annoy you?” in that instant, memories from my youth flashed through my mind – long road trips where we were forced to watch Barney videos; squabbles over whose turn it was to feed the dogs; yelling matches ending with tears and slamming bedroom doors.

i looked down at her and smiled, “yes, yes they sure do, Star. Why, do you have a little sister?” Star threw her arms down, almost in a gesture of defeat, and said, “yeah. and, man, i wish my little sister had an on-off switch. Then i could just mute her whenever i want!” i love that image! as the oldest of seven children, i can definitely relate to Star’s situation. Oldest children have a unique position —a posi-tion of leadership thrust upon them by no choice of their own. i guess i’m a little different though. i was the oldest of four children, which didn’t seem too bad, until my family decided to adopt a sibling group of three young girls all under six. This time, i had a choice, sort of.

i was 17 when we made a “family decision” to move forward with a foster-adopt program, and welcomed three sisters into our home. my leadership role as an oldest child was almost doubling! The first day we met them, we took them to mcdon-ald's and to a park. They were so little! at only 5, 3, and 1 years old, these girls were far younger than the rest of us kids (at that time, the “baby” in our family, molly, was 10). We enjoyed playing with the girls and encouraging them to come out of their shells. Their energy and enthusiasm for silly little things was refreshing. and, as it turned out, they were great little dancers!

Over the course of the next few months, as we adjusted to having these girls in our home, it wasn’t exactly easy. How could we have ever thought adding three children would be? as a family, we were back to diapers, naps, snacks, and baths. i ended up, along with mom, learning to braid the girls’ hair. Having never worked with african american hair before, mom and i had a lot of learning to do! Those poor girls: enduring us as we yanked and pulled in our attempts to coax their hair into beads and clips. Sometimes it was hard to stand back and watch how this change in our family life was affecting mom and dad, as well as my three birth siblings. We learned that sometimes, "love doesn’t conquer all." We learned about attachment disorder, and how the lack of attachment affects

children. We struggled to figure out how to interact with kids who only knew rejection and would find it easy and natural at times to reject us as they were once rejected.

i used to close my eyes and picture how life was before we made the choice to adopt. i pictured us as we would be now—a grown up family unit, close to each other and our parents. in the past, i've thought, “Why did we do this?” and i'd feel awful anytime i'd catch myself thinking this way. When my adopted sisters are wading through their attachment issues, or when mom and dad are struggling with how to parent them, it’s easy to ask, “Who got us into this?” “When will they finally adjust?” and "Why can't they just change?" These questions, though, are not healthy. all they do is tear me down, and disintegrate any form of leadership that i might have with my siblings. and even though i am blessed to be a part of the QBQ speaking team, it is still quite easy to fall into the trap of asking lousy ques-tions. i can travel around the country sharing this idea with others, but if i’m not practicing this myself at home and in my professional life, i’m a hypocrite. So when the negative questions are flying through my mind, i have to stop myself. The QBQ is all about asking better questions that lead us to a life of personal accountability and integrity.

So instead of “When will the girls be different?” or “Why is this happening?” i can ask, “What can i do to love my sisters just as they are?” “How can i, as a role model in all of my siblings’ lives, live in such a way that encourages them to be bet-ter people?” and “What can i do today to practice greater patience?” at QBQ, inc., we teach this truth: The answers are in the questions. When i ask better questions, i get better answers.

i need to do that.Star said it perfectly: Sometimes i just want to turn my siblings off.and now, with two brother-in-laws (who i adore, of course!), my own husband,

our two year old, and a baby on the way, there are even more "siblings" around! no one said being a part of a family was supposed to be easy! it’s a challenge, to love others more and love yourself less.

especially in a family with the struggles and challenges of adoption, we need to remember who made the choice. each of us made the choice to add to our family, and every day we make the choice to love each other, in spite of our differences. today, i need to choose to flip the switch and practice personal accountability by asking, “What can i do to love others just the way they are?” now that’s a question worth asking.

kristin lindeen

Character QuotesAlways be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~ Judy garland

Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed. ~ Cavett Robert

Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249

Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service

Summer Special!Save 25% OFF

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McGuffy’sDesigned Ads

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Relaxing Application ofEssential Oils to Feet & Back....MAGNIFICENT!

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613-924-6165Call today for an appointment

First Visit $15Reg $75

Gift Certi�catesAvailable!

Paling’s Family Fun Centre

18 Hole Mini Golf - Driving Range -Ticket Redemption Arcade Games

1850 County RD 2 East Brockville, ON

613-342-8467

18 HOLE MINIATURE GOLF (2 persons) / $9DRIVING RANGE (2 baskets) / $9

Chipwagon Style Food

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Spotlight on

�e OlympicsDid you know? �e Olympics were strictly for men, as far as the athletics and combat sports were concerned. Women weren't even allowed to watch. However, women might compete in the equestrian events, but only by proxy as owners of the horses and chariots. �e �rst woman victor on record was a Spartan princess.

One reason for their exclusion, perhaps, was that the athletes, boxers and wrestlers all competed in the nude. �e ancient Greek word for "to exercise" meant literally "to be stark naked".

Tug-of-war used to be part of the Olympics. Tug-of-war was on the Olympic program in 1900, 1904, 1906 (Intercalated Games), 1908, 1912 and 1920. Tug-of-war was always contested as a part of the track and �eld athletics program, although it is now considered a separate sport. �e Olympic champions were as follows: 1900: a combined Swedish/Danish team; 1904: an American club team representing the Milwaukee Athletic Club; 1906: Germany/Switzerland; 1908: a British team from the City of London Police Club; 1912: Sweden; and 1920: Great Britain.

�e Ancient Olympics started over 2500 years ago and were held in Olympia. In 1896, the �rst Modern Olympics were held in Athens.

�e oldest man to compete in the Summer Olympic Games was Oscar Swahn of Sweden in shooting (1908, 1912, and 1920). Oscar Swahn became the oldest gold medalist when he won gold at 64 years and 280 days old in 1912, and the oldest medallist when he won silver in 1920 aged 72 years, 281 days old. �e oldest woman to compete in the Olympics was British rider Lorna Johnstone, who participated in Equestrian at the 1972 Olympic Games at 70 years old and 5 days.

I Can Make This PuttPhil Beale, a member at gudge Heath golf club, has a 60 foot break-

ing putt and makes a bet stating that he has a dollar that says, ‘i can make this putt.’

everyone takes him up on the bet. Phil duly misses the putt by 5 feet and says, ‘you all owe me a dollar.’

Of course, his golf mates all think he is crazy until Phil produces a dollar upon which he wrote, ‘i can make this putt.’

Words To Live By

all people smile in the same language.

CRO

SSW

ORD

maid

Across1. an apron4. Throw away5. make not wet8. Sliding storage bins9. make repeated strokes 12. make neat14. use an abrasive

15. Woolen floor covering16. Spot18. free from obstruc-tionDown1. comet or Bon ami2. Place for cars3. Thread of a spider

6. electric carpet sweeper7. Wash clothing8. Thin film of dirt10. garret11. clean with hard rubbing13. clean with water

Occupational Hymn FavsThe dentist's Hymn ...................... crown Him With many crowns The Weatherman's Hymn ........... There Shall Be Showers of BlessingThe contractor's Hymn .................... The church's One foundationThe golfer's Hymn ........................ There is a green Hill far away

The Politician's Hymn .................... Standing on the PromisesThe Optometrist's Hymn ................... Open my eyes That i might See

The tax agent's Hymn ..................... i Surrender allThe gossip's Hymn ........................ Pass it On

The electrician's Hymn ................... Send the light

Friends Like These

Science Answers From KidsWhen people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.

When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

a skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South american folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, “let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?”

Too Long In SaskatchewwanYou know you’ve been in Saskatchewan too long when..• losing sight of the horizon, for even a few seconds,

leaves you with a feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day.

• you’re confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals and yet, obvious options like trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras.

• you actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines.

• you rent off-season storage space for your snow-mobile on a week-by-week basis.

• you sort your laundry into three loads: greens; whites; and green and whites.

• your other vehicle is a massey.• you’ve required a total of 40 stitches over the years

for various lacerations suffered while doing the butterfly at wedding dances.

• every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need a new curling broom.

Sudoku Solution crossword Solution

Bizarre Traffic Laws Pedestrians have the right of way in most places, but

some laws go even further. in Sarasota, fla., drivers are discouraged not to hit pedestrians (or you’ll be fined $78). it’s against the law to come within 50 metres of a ped-estrian crossing the street in Singapore. The opposite seems true in Beijing. There, drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings are liable to be fined up to five yuan — or less than a canadian dollar — or be issued a warning.

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

www.dkl�ooring.com

For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in renishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com

Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

15 Years

Experience

Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.

613-345-6220By appointment only

www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

613-345-1909

HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

BESTPRICEALWAYS

SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKS

Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke

Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919

Sam’s August & September Line-Up:

Aug 10 Blues HighwayAug 17 Little CaliforniaAug 24

Gypsy MoonAug 31

City LimitsAug 25 4th Annual Sam’sboat cruise$35 p.p. tickets

(available at bar)

Absolute Country 3-7pm

Sept 1 Whiskey RocksSept 7

Blues HighwaySept 14

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Ice Cream & Treats

Gift Ideas for All Ages!

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Rachael GallacherOwner/Operator

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Call Jon (613) 342 0428


248 Park St., W., Prescott613-925-3784

www.chartwellreit.ca

MAYFIELDRETIREMENT RESIDENCE

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Ignorance Is No Disgrace

Punny

Daffy Affirmations For The Unstable

The little brother of an army radar operator asked: “Jim, tell me how does radar work?”

“The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel to the target and back can be determined with a great degree of accuracy, it is possible to determine the range to the target as well as the direction to it.”

His brother pondered a moment, and then said: “as long as you don’t know, Jim, why don’t you just say so?”

did you hear that naSa recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ‘round the world.

Silly

Q

uote Show me a sane man and i will cure him for you.

~ carl gustav Jung

i honor my personality flaws, for without them i would have no personality at all.

Qui

ck

rid

dle

Texting

Substantial Credibility

Q: What kind of dog tells time? answer:

a watch dog.

unexpected set backs happen all the time. So how do we turn some of these ‘lemons into lemonade’ as it were? tell the truth in your marketing when you have a set back. Here’s a good example;

James Webb young started selling fruit by mail order many years ago. He tells the story of an apple-growing season where he was nearly ruined. Vio-lent hail storms bombarded his apple trees with ice pellets, causing bruising and pock marks. He feared massive complaints and returns if he shipped the bruised fruit to his mail order apple buyers. But if he didn't ship the damaged apples, he would have to refund all the orders, and his mail order business would be ruined. The apples were damaged only cosmetically. The hail had pockmarked the skin, but this did not affect the flavour or freshness.

young went ahead and filled his orders with the pockmarked apples, and in each box shipped, enclosed a pre-printed card that read something like this: "note the pockmarks on some of these apples. This is proof that they are grown at a high mountain altitude, where the same extreme cold that causes sudden hailstorms also firms the flesh and increases the natural sugars, making the apples even sweeter." according to young, not a single order was returned. in fact, when orders came in for next year, many order forms had handwritten notes that said, "Pockmarked apples if available; otherwise, the regular kind."

Often, by being truthful about your problems, you can gain substantial cred-ibility with your buyer, increasing loyalty, sales, and customer satisfaction.

Top Senior Texting Codes

* atd - at the doctor’s * Bff - Best friend’s funeral * BtW - Bring the Wheelchair * ByOt - Bring your Own teeth * dWi - driving While incontinent * fWiW - forgot Where i Was * fyi - found your insulin

* lOl - living on lipitor * rOfl...cgu - rolling on the floor laughing...can’t get up! * tOt - texting on toilet * WWnO - Walker Wheels need Oil Hope these help. gglki (gotta go, laxative kicking in!)

♪ Music Notes ♫Jeanne louise calment’s cd was released on her 121st birthday in 1996.

titled “time’s mistress” it features ms calment reminiscing to a score of rap music and other tunes.

Biggest ManThe biggest man in the union army was

capt. david Van Buskirk of the 27th indi-ana regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a richmond Prison where a confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit.

even confederate President Jeff davis came to see him and was astounded when the imp-ish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington indiana, “when i was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. as i was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head.”

Second BeginningsChildren’s and Maternity Consignment Store

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Appointment For Summer!

Tuesday-Friday 10am-5pm Saturday 10am-4pm

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Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location?Call Jon at McGu�y’s News

613-342-0428jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

June 30, 2012

August SpecialDesign/Presentation Papers

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Townsman Ltd., BrokerageIndependently owned & operated 116 King Street W., Brockville, On

Helping You Make The Right Move!

Rick Burt C.E.T.Sales Representative

Direct: 613-498-7547O�ce:613-345-2121 ext 316

[email protected]

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50 Wall Street2 storey/4 bedrms$224,900!Gorgeous older home!Lots of features!

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5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist

Jon: 613 342 [email protected]

Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com

McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada!

www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Brockville and1000 Islands

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VOL.

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e 32

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Empowering ThoughtsSelf-respect is the fruit of discipline ~ Abraham J. HeschelHe that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. ~ Henry Wadsworth LongfellowNo man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. ~ George Bernard ShawAn excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. ~ Pope John Paul I

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. ~ Jim Roh

Sales--Service--Installation

Playmatesgeorge knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s

mother answered he asked, “can albert come out to play?”“no,” said the mother, “it’s too cold.”“Well, then,” said george, “can his football come out to play?”

Best Boot Forwarda company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new ceO. This new

boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the ceO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The

room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!The ceO walks up to the guy and asks, “and how much money do you

make a week?” undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “i make $300.00 a week. Why?”

The ceO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now get Out and don’t come back!”

feeling pretty good about his first firing, the ceO looks around the room and asks “does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from across the street.”

Be Yourself

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matterand those who matter don't mind. ~ dr. Seuss

Become An Astronautnot every astronaut has a Phd or is a member of menSa. The mini-

mum education requirement to be eligible as an astronaut candidate is a Bachelor’s degree.

considering how many photos astronauts take during the course of a spaceflight, a Photography degree might come in handy! disregarding Honorary doctorates bestowed, the highest education for all seven origi-nal mercury astronauts was a Bachelor’s degree. The first astronaut with a master’s degree to fly was ed White, the united State’s first space-walker, on gemini 4. The first person to fly in space with a Phd was Buzz aldrin, who earned a doctorate of astronautics at mit.

Qui

ck

fact an ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Brockville Mcguffys News Vol 5 Issue 32

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Transcript of Brockville Mcguffys News Vol 5 Issue 32