By Greg Stekelman, aged 36

New geographically accurate maps

Old, lovely maps

polska-anglia.co.uk

The Piccadilly line

• 2nd best line• Best colour• Tourist tube• Weeping tuning fork• Shortest gap between stations• Vomit

Kelly Sotherton

Wikifeet – the collaborative celebrity-feet website

The Bakerloo line

• Worst colour line

• Nice and straight

• Baker Street and Waterloo – could be called Waterstreet

• Baker Street has the 10 platforms

Dermot O’Leary

The Circle line

• Most hated line• Can’t find proper map of it• No longer a circle• Terrible student parties• Once stuck between Moorgate and Barbican for 25

minutes

No one

The District Line

• Full of Sloanes

• Has the most stations: 60

• Crosses Thames by bridge

• Home of fictional Walford East station

Walford East – it’s not a real station

Jon Ronson

The Hammersmith and City Line

• Salmon Pink Colour

• It’s no ones favourite line

• I lost my virginity in a flat near Royal Oak, overlooking the train line

No votes for the Hammersmith and City Line

The Central Line

• Lovely red colour

• The fastest line (speeds up to 62mph)

• Longest uninterrupted journey from West Ruislip to Epping (54.9 km)

• Once saw Nigel Lawson at Lancaster Gate

Steve Davis

The Jubilee Line

• Opened in 1979

• Stratford has the shortest escalator

• Was to be named The Fleet Line

• I don’t like the special door opening bits, even though they do stop suicides

Benoit Assou-Ekotto

The Metropolitan Line

• World’s oldest underground railway• Only 9 stations below ground• Not really London• Fast and semi-fast trains• Longest gap between any two stations

(6.3km between Chesam and Chalfont & Latimer)

Louis Theroux

The Northern Line

• Sexy black colour• The “Misery Line”• Longest tunnel (Morden to East Finchley

27.8 kilometres)• Most passengers (206 million per year)• Northern Heights extended proposal

Northern Heights – an impossible dream

Claudia Winkleman

The Victoria Line

• Clearly the best line• Finsbury Park to Oxford Circus in 12 mins• Opened in 1968• A train every two minutes• The lights once failed on me between

Finsbury Park and Highbury and Islington

Shelley von Strunckel

The Waterloo and City Line

• Only two stations, Waterloo and Bank

• Nicknamed “the Drain”

• I’ve never used it

• Closed on Sundays

• Looks a bit rubbish

James Ward

The end?