Nonsense written by A. D. Barncord

Plot Bunny Images created at http://www.newdollgames.com/game/4148/Bunny-Love-Dress.html from

FlashBunny.com and Anand Duncan.

BONFIRE OF THE PLOT BUNNIES

I can’t believe she would desert me like that! I would make a great story. Why can’t she see that?

Oh, be quiet. She knows you would make a great story. She just can’t get you to gel in her mind. Look at me! Her writing was lots better for my story, but that didn’t keep her from getting stuck.

She even stopped writing my story, even though she’s almost done with it. And I’m her favorite character!

Get real! You’re nothing but a Mary Sue from one of her favorite book series. The only thing she can write with you is unpublishable fanfics.

My stories are not fanfics! They are psychological journeys in comfortable fictional surroundings that she doesn’t have to keep creating. Creating universes is stressful work, you know.

Indeed it is. She has created over 3000 years of history and several cultures for my universe and that of my twin and you don’t hear us griping about her wasting time with you distractive upstarts.

Like you have any reason to gripe, old timer. She’s actually finished one novel with you and has written probably more short stories for you universe than she has with Mary Sue there.

My name is not Mary Sue and you know it! She’s written two novels with me, thank you. And a novella or two. All of which helped her to become a better writer, while gaining personal insight.

And she is supposed to write a least four more novels for me and one for my twin. By the way, you forgot the NaNoWriMo project she did before you, young man. She actually finished it and by all rights, it’s a comprehensive guide to my universe. So, that’s two novels for me. Neither of which were a rewrite, with all due respect to the lady healer.

What my twin means to say, young one, is to be patient. Let your plot simmer longer, so your story will be heartier. Have faith in our dear writer. She is very tired, after all.

Decision fatigue is more like it. Look at how many of us there are. Add to that her fulltime job and more schooling, it’s no wonder she can’t concentrate on any one of us. If you ask me, the only way to get things going is to have a plot bunny death match to weed out the weaker ones and give her less to focus on.

That is barbaric! And unnecessary. You know that she eventually combines us weaker plot bunnies with stronger plots to give them more depth. After all, that’s the only reason you’re still around, you fiend. You don’t really believe she’s going to dedicate a whole story to you, do you?

I would make a better story than a piece of fluff like you.

Now, that’s no way to talk to the young lady. You have better manners than that, even if you are a villain.

Oh, great. Who let you out of the box of Christmas decorations? It’s bad enough I have to put up with you and your fellow carolers during the holidays.

I let them out. They are plot bunnies, not ornaments. Unlike you and several of the others, I don’t see a need to be so competitive with the other plot bunnies.

Are you telling me that it doesn’t bother you that our writer hasn’t gone back to finished editing your story?

Of course not. I was written as a psychological journey towards self-enlightenment. My purpose was achieved. I don’t need to be polished and put on the market.

I agree with Quest. There’s more to story telling than being published.

Oh, shut up. You’re not even a real plot bunny. You’re a persona who writes fanfics to interact with other people’s personas. You’re just part of a game.

Your designation is weak, villain. The persona plot bunny inspired a long story that only close friends read, while our dear author was recovering from a major health problem. It wasn’t written for play, but for release.

This is ridiculous! There are too many of us, I tell you.

Then fight me.According to what has been said so far, I am the weakest of plot bunnies. I am a fan-fictional, possible Mary Sue, who failed to bring any insight or resolution to our author. Much less a finished story.

Hold on a moment! Let’s not get carried away! I mean . . . Umm . . . Well, you’re a blood thirsty monster. That’s hardly a weak thing. And you pretty much the newest of us all. You just need to give yourself some time.

You said that there are too many of us.

I was talking about the goody two-shoes gang, not us anti-heroes.

Oh, just ignore him. He’s afraid of you. He knows you could squash him in a second. Villain has always been full of hot air. And no matter what he says, you are not a monster – you are just cursed.

No one asked for your opinion, candy cane. Why don’t you just go back to your decoration box and wait for December?

I have a better idea. Why don’t we have them sing for us? I could use some Christmas music right now.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

Something particularly cheerful and sappy, just full of goodwill.

You are beyond evil, you monster.

Muahahaha. I know just the song.

From A Muppet Christmas Carol by Jim Henson Productions

AUGGGGGH! I’m getting out of here!

Well, that’s one way to thin us out.

THE END