Blackbright News Reveals Moslem Culture

BlAcKBlAcK - BBRRIIggHHTTAA VVooii cc ee ff oorr tthhee DDiissaaddvvaannttaaggeedd SStt iiggmmaatt ii ss eedd && SSttee rreeoottyyppeedd

Issue 32

HHooww ttoo ee ssccaa ppee

MMaattee rr ii aa ll ii ssmm

aanndd ff ii nndd

HHaappppiinneess ss ..

AAmm II jj uuss tt aa ll aabbee ll ??

II ’’mm AA MM uuss ll iimm ?? II tt DDooeess nn ’’ tt MMeeaann II ’’ mm aa TTeerr rroorr ii ss tt !!

WWhhyy RRoodd iiggaann

RRee ss iiggnneedd

FF rroomm KK II SS SS FFMM

Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM

Black-Bright NewsThe Voice of the Disadvantaged

Stereoptyped & Stigmatised

Blackbright News is the voice for people who have felt stigma-

tised or stereotyped because of race, culture, religion, homeless-

ness, immigration status, economic situation, gender, health con-

dition, sexual orientation, age, disability or because they’ve been

abused. Blackbright News will do this by, 1) disclosing the per-

sonal experiences of famous and ordinary individuals who have

openly shared similar challenges, 2) using awareness raising

strategies to highlight the impact of stigma, especially when it

inhibits the ability to realise full human potential, 3) mentoring,

offering advice, talks and/or referring on and, 4) promoting prod-

ucts that encourage well-being, ranging from music, spas, holistic

therapy, counselling to making good choices.

Blackbright News was founded in May 2006, by Myrna Loy, to

redress the negative stereotyping of black people in the UK.

However, she has now widened its remit to include everyone

who feels stereotyped or stigmatised, and to specifically give a

voice to those individuals who feel stereotyped or stigmatised

because of mental illness.

Blackbright News is a global publication that uses narratives

to explore the rationale behind diagnosis, treatment and sup-

port, and can be used as a training approach to promote oppor-

tunities for debates and discussions regarding stigma.

Blackbright News is a black-led quarterly magazine that will

be the voice for any stigma/stereotype-related situation, regard-

less of situation or race. We are prepared to receive informa-

tion in most formats, e.g., illustrations, poetry, short stories, let-

ters, statements or feature articles, preferably supported by

images/photos. If someone feels uncertain about their writing

ability, we can arrange for a telephone (or face-to-face) inter-

view. Whatever is divulged to us will be taken seriously and

treated confidentially. We will not publish names or identifying

information unless expressly asked to do.

Blackbright News has a particular interest in the way people

who have a mental health condition are being treated in institu-

tions and care homes. We seek input from corporate,

health/legal representatives and organisations that offer

respite/independent living accommodation for those with men-

tal health issues. Friends, family members and carers are also

welcome to share observations and their positive and negative

experiences.

Blackbright News is a nonpartisan, philanthropic publication,

and as such it takes no stand on public policy issues. Any opin-

ions expressed in its publications are those of the authors and

not of the publication. Blackbright News is self-financed and

thrives on the resourcefulness, resilience and commitment of its

members. We are seeking contributions from professionals and

lay persons alike. We are also seeking financial and non-financial

support through sponsorships, advertising, contributions, dona-

tions, and inviting volunteers to gain work experience in some-

thing they have a passion for; for example, journalism, photogra-

phy, graphic design, poetry illustrating, distributing, marketing and

promoting.

Founder, Publisher & Managing Editor: Myrna LoyBack Cover Design: Lakshmi Narayan Gupta

Back cover & ‘Girls’ Photo taken by Garfield Hall

BLACKBRIGHT NEWSStudio 57 Saywell Road LU2 0QG

PAYPAL email: [email protected]

Tel: 01582 721 605www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews (for previous issues)

or www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews ISSN No. 1751-1909

1

As a way of enabling individuals/businesses to support

Blackbright News, whilst building up their business/person-

al profile, we are selling advertising space for products and

services in our publication at competitive rates and, in return

- the paid advert will be accompanied by a matched size press

release or feature on their product, e.g. full page advert would

receive a full page feature.

Blackbright’s Life Coaches are experts who have expe-

rienced neglect, abuse, racism, discrimination, victimisation,

redundancy, abandonment, isolation, violation of rights, physi-

cal, emotional and psychological abuse, stigma, divorce, betray-

al, deceit, grief and now live rich and fruitful lives, so are qual-

ified to share what internal resources were used to overcome

trauma and motivate them. Organisations can commission

this, or our Counselling Service, or can receive FREE advice

and/or useful referrals from the Blackbright Mentor by writ-

ing to us for publication. We provide Life Coaching,

Mentoring Programmes and Motivational Talks to anyone who

feels stigmatised, stereotyped or otherwise disadvantaged.

For more information email: [email protected]

AAmm II jjuu ss tt aa ll aabbee ll ??

II ’’mm AA MM uuss ll iimm ?? II tt DDooeess nn ’’ tt MMeeaa nn II ’’ mm aa TTeerr rroorr ii ss tt !!

DO YOU KNOW… what

the difference is between mentalillness and mental health? bmin

The term ‘mental illness’ is generally used

when someone experiences significant

changes in their thinking, feelings or behav-

iour. The changes need to be bad enough to

affect how the person functions or to cause

distress to them or to other people. The terms

‘ ‘mental health problem’ and mental disorder’

have a similar meaning.If a person has always

had a problem in their thinking, feeling or

behaviour, then this is not usually called men-

tal illness. It may then be called a developmen-

tal problem or a difficulty with their personality

(sometimes called a personality disorder).

Contd on Page 3


2

ISLAMIC VIEW ON DIVORCE

Allah says in the Quran:

“And live with them (women) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings

through it a great deal of good.” An-Nisa (The Women) 4 : 19

Ibnu Umar r.a. reported the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. as saying,

“The lawful thing that is most detested by Allah is divorce.” (Narrated by Abu Daud and Hakim)

It is clear that Islam strongly discourages divorce. Divorce always has negative effects on the

affected couples, on their children, on their families and on the community at large

EFFECTS OF DIVORCE

Islam discourages divorce because of the ensuing problems relating to:

Emotion

Finance

Social stigma

Emotion

Couples facing a marriage break-up will have to cope with: Anxiety Anger, Sadness, Weariness, Guilt, Feeling

of isolation. Low self-esteem, Worry. Disappointment / frustration, Loneliness. Among estranged partners in

marriage, these feelings are unavoidable before, during and after the process of divorce. The couples con-

cerned are not the only people affected; others close to them may be affected too.

The following mental health issues can be a direct result of matrimonial problems: sense of guilt, embarrass-

ment, insecurity and loss of self-confidence; depression; anxiety


CCOONNTTEENNTTSS

1. About Blackbright News

2. Islam on Divorce & Mental Health

4. Just because I’m a Muslim does

not mean I’m a terrorist

5. Facts on Stigma

9. Words to think about

10. Threats & Fears

11. Rosemary’s Living Room (Pt 2)

(True story by Emansha)

14. Mental Illness, Poem by RC

15. Escaping Materialism

16. David Rodigan Resigns from Kiss

18. How to tell a Leap of Faith from a

Stupid Decision

19. What has Nutrition got to do with me!

20. Low Tolerance in Relationships

21. Loving Yourself - Inside Out

3

DID YOU KNOW�Contd from Page 1

Mental health is the opposite – it

means mental wellbeing, good mental func-

tioning or having no particular problems in

thinking, feelings or behaviour.

These kinds of definitions of course greatly

over-simplify things. All of us experience

changes from time to time in our feelings,

thinking and behaviour, and there is no clear

cut off between illness and health. Also

someone may have problems which fit the

definition of a mental illness, but they may be

very healthy mentally in other ways.

loss of concentration; tendency towards negative

attitude and behaviour, compounded by reduced

income.

Social Stigma

It is not unusual for divorcees to be derided by the

community. The estranged couple can lose each

other’s relatives and friends and help with the chil-

dren.

Islamists knows that in many cases a partner in mar-

riage comes to this painful decision because of the

irresponsible behaviour of the other partner, but still

does not believe that given the mental health chal-

lenges, a divorce is the best solution. Extracted & adapted from: http://app.syariahcourt.gov.sg/syariah/front-end/

AbtDivorce_ Effects Of Divorce_E.aspx

Blackbright News has a New logo!!


I suppose it was growing up in a small tight-knit

Asian community and attending a predominantly

Asian high school, which somewhat contributed to

my, then, lack of awareness of racism. Especially

since my best friend in school was black and my

other closest friend was white, so in my one-dimen-

sional mind, I assumed (with the exception of the

odd ignoramus here and there) that 21st century

racism just did not exist. Was I in for a rude awaken-

ing, or what?

After having completed my GCSE’s it was time for

me to start college. As it was a new phase in my life,

I decided to do what I had wanted to do for so long,

and that was to wear a headscarf. I didn’t wear a

headscarf in high school, simply because it didn’t

cross my mind much of the time, and the few times

it did, it’s not something I took seriously. Though

now, however, I viewed myself differently and felt

like I was a young adult responsible for her own

actions, therefore I felt it was essential for me to fol-

low the guidelines of my faith.

Upon reflection I realise

how naïve I was to think I

could wear a headscarf

and assume people

would still treat me the

same way. Well…they

didn’t. Walking about in

my own neighbourhood

and other public places

was generally okay, but

whenever I stepped into

a different area, I was

subject to stares, glares and people walking and

talking around me as if I had swine flu. I recall an

incident where a young gentleman was staring at

me like a wide-eyed deer, as if trying to figure out

exactly what I was.

College was not really any different. My class were

made up of all girls, with roughly two-thirds being

white and the other third being Asian. I tried to

make conversation with everyone but at first some

of white girls wouldn’t really speak to me, and when

they did, it took me time to realise that it wasn’t the

same way they would talk to each other. Whilst

speaking to me, they would use smaller words and

sentences. I used to get some of the best grades in

class, so I honestly couldn’t understand where the

inspiration for their patronising attitude was coming

from.

There was one girl who was nice to me though, and

once she even wished me a happy Eid. I felt gen-

uinely happy thinking, wow, at least someone’s

4

JUST BECAUSE I’M AMUSLIM DON’T MEAN I’M

A TERRORIST!!

“RAGHEAD!”. The first time I heard this word was

when it appeared in the news after video footage

showed Prince Harry using it to describe one of his fel-

low soldiers. To my naïve sheltered ears, it sounded

too amateur to qualify as an insult that I found myself

laughing. I soon came to realise though, through my

older brother, that ‘raghead’ did in fact exist. ‘You did-

n’t know? People say stuff like that all the time…we’re

not liked.’

That last sentence in particular struck a chord, as my

brother continued to speak, concluding with an

account of how the walls in his college toilets are lit-

tered with racist graffiti, one notably reading ‘all p*ki’s

are inbreds.’ Hearing about how harsh some people

can be just because other people are a different

colour made me feel very uneasy, as this was all very

new and disturbing to me. Like I said, I was naïve and

sheltered…and probably about as street-wise as a

potato.

DJ Lady Loy on Jamrock Sundaysfor Music & Interviews

SUNDAYS 8PM - 10PM (GMT)

www.jamrockradio.comPromoting New Music & New Artists

email: [email protected]


open-minded around here. That was until of course I

heard her mutter racial slurs to her friends about ‘ter-

rorist scarves’ and how she believed holy scriptures

were written by a man on crack, before looking

incredibly guilty after she realised I’d overheard her

conversation. Talk about awkward moments. I’m glad

no one told me it would only get worse from there

because just the isolation and the hostility from the

girls was enough to make me want to leave.

As winter turned to spring, sometimes we would walk

out the college and up the road over to where the

shops were to purchase treats during lunchtime. I

remember it being an April afternoon and I was walk-

ing along behind some five other (white) girls. I

noticed a black car

drove up the road

and slowed a little.

I didn’t realise it at

the time but the

four boys in the car

were waiting for

me to walk past,

and when I did…bam. I got hit in the face with a heap

of food. It wasn’t the actual attack which hurt though,

it was more when they laughed like hyenas and drove

off. The whole incident happened so fast and sponta-

neously that it took me a least a minute to pull myself

together and come to terms with what had just hap-

pened. It’s not every day I get things hurled at my

face, therefore I didn’t really know how to react or

what to do next, so I just sort of stood there, stupidly.

The two girls who had witnessed the whole scene just

froze and gaped at me, consequently drawing the

attention of the others in the group, who in turn did

the same. At that moment I remember feeling

extremely uncomfortable. I’m sure everyone did,

maybe that’s why there were such heavy pauses

whenever someone spoke.

Awkward silence

Girl 1: …Are you okay?

Me: …Erm…yeah…

A longer awkward silence

Girl 2: What happened?

Girl 1: Those guys threw that at her.

Girl 3: Were they white?

Girl 1: Yeah…

An even longer awkward silence

As if it wasn’t clear enough already, everyone knew

5

Facts

Depression may be a well-known disease affecting millions

of people worldwide but according to a 2007 article,

Depression Stigma Sometimes Deadly, only 50 percent of

people with depression in the United States actually seek

treatment.

Defining Stigma

Stigma can be defined as an identifying “mark” or uncharac-

teristic “blemish.” For people with depression, stigma ulti-

mately results from society developing biases or negative

views, such as calling depression a “weakness” or “charac-

ter flaw” of the person with the disease.

Erving Goffman’s Stigma Theory

In a thesis entitled, “The Effects of Stigma Applied to

Depression,” Sara Payne discusses Erving Goffman’s defi-

nition of stigma in relation to depression. According to

Goffman, there are two types of identities a person can

evolve into: a “virtual social identity” or how society expects

an individual to behave and “actual social identity”—the way

a person actually behaves. If the “actual social identity” (i.e.

depression, symptoms) doesn’t match with the “virtual iden-

tity” a person may experience stigma.

Effects of Stigma

Mentally ill people battling stigma from society often develop

feelings of shame and low self-esteem. As a result, a

depressed person will not only shy away from life-saving

treatment, but will experience societal pressures and prob-

lems, such as loss of income, poor inter-relationships or

possible death.

Helpful Organizations

Dr. Karen L. Swartz, director and founder of Johns Hopkins Hospital

Adolescent Depression Awareness Program in Baltimore, Maryland,

helps parents and teenagers understand the seriousness of depression

and how stigma undermines treatment outcomes. The National Mental

Health Awareness Campaign started by Tipper Gore in 1999 helps edu-

cate the public on the myths of stigma in depression.

Source: Why Is There a Stigma With Depression? | eHow.com

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5804535_there-stigma-

depression_.html#ixzz2AyHRqlmo


6

exactly why I was targeted out of the group, but

nobody was bold enough to say it. Until…

Girl 1: …Khalida?

Me: Hmm?

Girl 1: I think they done it ‘cause…you’re wearing a

headscarf…

Me: Yeah…I know

Girl 4: I don’t know what to say…

Neither did I.

Towards the end of that year, my family decided to

move to a bigger house and chose to buy one which

was located on the other side of town. The majority of

my new neighbours were white, including my next

door neighbours who are an English family, and the

other family who are Anglo – Irish. Very good people. I

particularly appreciate how they always make a cour-

teous effort to start conversations with my parents,

despite there obviously being a huge language barrier

and other cultural differences. They don’t realise it,

but that means a lot to me. Although my neighbours

are polite and cordial, not everyone else in the neigh-

bourhood was as friendly. Being in a new area meant I

had to take a different route when walking to college,

so it became quite the norm to walk past places which

had unsavoury comments written everywhere such as,

‘p*ki scum’ and ‘go home p*ki.’

It was also during this time where I started to take a

deeper interest in my religion because I felt that

behind all this ongoing drama, there must be a pur-

pose to my life. I felt like I had to have been made for

a reason, otherwise why would I be here?

In spite of being brought up in a Muslim household, my

actual knowledge of Islam was very limited, as I only

knew the basic fundamentals of my faith and not much

else. So as I began to take my religion more seriously, I

took it upon myself to

learn more about Islam.

Through my research I

began to assess my life

and soon discovered that I

was wearing the hijab

incorrectly. For some rea-

son, many people (includ-

ing some Muslims) often

mis-translate ‘hijab’ to

mean headscarf. The gen-

eral head covering is

called the ‘khimar’,

whereas the (woman’s)

‘hijab’ refers to the full body covering, whereby only

her hands and face are visible. (A man’s hijab has

different requirements).

Due to this misinterpretation, when some Muslim

girls learn they have to wear a hijab, they usually

just cover their hair thinking

they are wearing the hijab,

when in actual fact they’re

not. And I was no different,

in short, I realised if I want-

ed to be a better Muslim I

had to make a change

because my headscarf, skin-

ny jeans and short sleeved

tops weren’t going to cut

the mustard, so to speak.

Meanwhile college was finally finishing and I was

happy because my time there was only getting

more miserable by the day. One girl told me regard-

less of where I was born, I was not British, nor will I

ever be because I was Asian. And that people

should just go back to where they came from. She

didn’t have an English surname and i pointed out

her French ancestry. What about that then?

Apparently, according to her, that didn’t count. It

didn’t bother me too much though because she’s

entitled to her own opinions, and at least she said

it to my face. Also it didn’t come as much of a sur-

prise to me when I learnt she was a member of an

anti-immigrant group on Facebook.

After doing some serious thinking, I decided to

wear the hijab the proper way, where only my

hands and face would be visible in public. So now,

I was no longer ‘normal’ from the neck down, as

was the case before. This time when I stepped out

into the world, I felt even more isolation and hostil-

ity from some people, and again there was that

patronising attitude I received, which seemed to

have increased ten-fold. People talk down to me;

they talk louder; they talk slower, or they don’t

even make an effort to talk at all. Then there are

those people who talk about me in front of me,

assuming I won’t have a clue what they’re saying. I

mean, come on now!

One example of that was when I was walking home

from work late one night and I had to walk down

this tunnel. There were about four or five other big

guys walking up the tunnel, and I heard one of

them notify his pals that there was a p*ki at close

range (me). They were saying other things about

me which I couldn’t make out, and then out of

nowhere one of the guys yelled in my face and

jerked his body toward me, in order to intimidate

me. A scene which his friends clearly found very


7

entertaining. What a coward. He should try picking

fights with someone his own size, not to mention gen-

der. Maybe he should also try educating himself and

learn that not all Asians are Pakistani.

I have noticed that males in particular behave more

aggressively, whereas females tend to be more spiteful

and/or condescending. For example, one time a guy a

spotted me walking by and gave me the finger like it

was his job. Another time some other guy told me to

**** off. Maybe he thought I didn’t understand him

because he then kept on repeating himself till he was

out of sight. Women on the other hand aren’t as phys-

ical with their prejudices. For instance, if I go to

women’s retail store and pick out a pair of jeans or a

dress…etc. sometimes I’ll get funny stares from fellow

customers. Yes, I do wear other clothes you know.

Other times there may be the pretentious sales assis-

tant I have to put up with, who will tone down their

vocabulary, and not speak to me the same way they

speak to other customers, because they presume I am

dumb. I suppose I don’t have it as bad as others

though. I have a friend who is English and wears a

hijab, and some people think she can’t speak English -

her own mother tongue. I can’t imagine how annoying

that must be.

There are even some people who feel sorry for women

in hijab and want to liberate us from the shackles of

our ‘oppressive, male chauvinistic religion’. Urghh...

Please... Save it! Go find someone else to ‘liberate.’

These people need to understand that they are just

wasting their emotions on something useless and

unnecessary. I am in no need of anyone’s pity or sym-

pathy. I am a perfectly competent, intelligent young

woman and the only oppression I face is from these

very people, who want me to abandon my beliefs and

values, and conform to their ideals and ‘norms.’ They

argue that women in Islam are subordinate, subjugat-

ed and inferior to men. When in reality this is quite the

contrary. Women have far more rights in Islam than

men do. Voting, marriage, divorce, inheritance, the

right to own property, education, a career, etc., were

things Islam permitted women to do over 1,400 years

ago.


8

Due to the whole women-aren’t-allowed-to-drive-in-

Saudi-Arabia issue and other (flawed) examples, peo-

ple often try to illustrate these as the ‘brute laws of

Islam in action’, when really it has nothing to do with

Islam but everything to do with Arab culture. That’s

just how some Saudi’s choose to live, regardless of

their faith. Let me guess, these Arabs should be ‘liber-

ated’ too? Maybe if these people who want to ‘liber-

ate’ me actually picked up a book and read about this,

instead of referring to the mainstream media and

other biased sources to help form their opinions, they

wouldn’t be so clueless.

As a result of certain media coverage, there is defi-

nitely a social stigma attached to women who wear

hijab. Every ‘group’ past and present, has had a

stereotypical label attributed to them and Muslims

are no different. Over the past years, I’ve grown

weary of the media and the negative stereotypical

images they project into our minds, without us even

realising sometimes. The white chav, the black crimi-

nal, the Asian patriarchal control freak, are just to

name a few. How I despise stereotypical labels, but

the media loves them.

We as a people, need to be more wise and intelligent

enough to understand that people who publish these

stories have their own money-making agenda’s in

mind, which is why the media won’t always be honest

and truthful. Unlike sensationalised drama, pure hon-

esty won’t always sell. Therefore the media unfortu-

nately becomes the only source of information some

people have about a certain group of people, whom

they may never come into contact with.

By reasons of what I have mentioned above, I felt it

was an obligation on my part to write this article and

try to shed some light on the challenges Muslim

women are faced with in this society. So if you do

happen to cross paths with a woman in hijab, please

don’t rudely ignore her, patronise her, or hate her.

Understand that she is wearing her hijab as an effort

to please God, and not how some people ethno-cen-

trically interpret it to mean, as a symbol of male sup-

pression. Yes, I recognise that the hijab is regarded as

unfamiliar attire in the west, but that is no reason to

persistently stare at her as if she is a zoo animal. Also

understand that she is by no means a dim-witted

robot, or an alien from another planet. (So don’t treat

her like one). She is a human being with a brain and a

heart, just like you.

As for myself and the experiences I’ve faced? As

unpleasant as they were, it’s not something I would

trade for the world. I’m happy I went through every-

thing I did because it made me the person I am today.

I’m stronger, thicker skinned, and perhaps maybe

more understanding because I know what it feels like

to be hated for no reason. I also don’t scare as easily

now and know how to deal with situations the way an

adult is supposed to.

With the rise of anti-Islamic sentiment, I realise that it

is inevitable I will have to face more of the same chal-

lenges. Nevertheless I will never allow those chal-

lenges to defeat me or hold me back in any way.

Everybody faces some degree of hardship and

nobody’s life is perfect, so why should mine be any dif-

ferent. These are just the challenges I have to face.

Some people will never like me or accept me, but I

know that as long as I am happy, healthy and have a

family that loves me then nothing else in this world

really matters.

Written by Khalida, Luton.


For historic online editions go to:http://issuu.com/blackbrightnews

limited editions of backdated editions

support blackbright news - Pay your

annual subscription of 10pounds per year

by Paypal ([email protected])

foR adVeRtisinG enQUiRiesplease email [email protected]

http://about.me/blackbrightnews

Order your copy of Poetry’s Promise, Poetry’s

Teacher and The Other Side of Tourism - An insight

to the life and perceptions of Myrna Loy

Discounted Rate: £5 9

Words to think about...


10

SPECIAL NOTICE

BLACKBRIGHT NEWS is looking forvolunteers in the field of journalism,

graphic design and photography.We are also seeking regional agents.Students who need work experiencewelcome, but should be interested in

magazine publishing and relatedaspects.

EMAIL BIO/INTEREST to: [email protected]

T HRE AT S AND “FE AR”

To manage our lives properly we need to be able to

operate from a positive point of view and cannot possi-

bly operate well from fears.

We fear “consequences” and the threat of them happen-

ing or the thought of the threat of them happening is

called fear. We fear we will lose something.

Legitimate fears are:

In a realistically threatening situation of loss of one’s

life. Basically, the only legitimate fear is non-survival.

Semi-legitimate fears are:

Loss of a limb; Being quadriplegic - but it is proven

that after a year, someone who has become quadriple-

gic is just as happy as before.

Illegitimate fears are:

Loss of approval (love, etc.). We hold onto this one

from childhood, where we were legitimately not capa-

ble of feeding and caring for ourselves so that our sur-

vival would be threatened without the love. When we

are no longer helpless, this fear is no longer legitimate.

This will take various forms like:

Not being good enough (so might not be loved and then

I’ll not survive); Not being able enough (so might not

survive; Helpless; Hopeless; Fear of abandonment (so

no one to take care of me, so I’ll not survive); Fear of

shame (we’re shameful so we won’t be loved and we’ll

die); Fear of being thought to have a character flaw (so

not be loved)

These are unexamined, unrevised, outdated misbeliefs!

They are only real in the mind!

The irony is that we proceed to make up stories and

gather evidence that support these mis-beliefs and then

we think our stories and our evidence are legitimate and

true! So we need to learn the difference between Truth

and “Not-Truth”, between the “what is” and the

“story”.

Recommendations for developing insights and some

abilities that will support this type of thinking:

Landmark Education has developed this to the excel-

lence level. Take the Landmark Forum – see www.land-

markeducation.com for information


11

which was used in the chemical bucket

Rosemary used for a toilet.

While Eric was outside I started clearing the

way, I began by taking my jacket off and

hanging it on the door. I continued working

and Eric returned with a can of air freshen-

er and was spraying it secretly as he moved

around the room. However, disappointment

was about to strike as we struggle with the

settee we finally got stuck outside the living

room door and half way down the passage

way (it was really narrow) we called to

Rosemary to let her know that we were

bringing the settee back because it was too

wide to pass she said ok.

Once we brought the settee back into the

living room Eric said goodbye to Rosemary

and headed straight for the door, I collected

my jacket and told her that we may have to

take out some of the boxes, old suit cases

(you know the ones, back in the days; she

had about five, there was even a trunk as

big as a house) in the room to give her more

space instead of moving the settee. She

looked around and agreed. I grabbed my

jacket said goodnight and left.

On my way out I pushed my hands into my

jacket to get my mobile, it was gone I

returned to Rosemary’s and asked her if she

had seen my mobile in the room, I explained

that I had the phone in my pocket and

Rosemary constantly tried to convince me

that I didn’t come with a phone, I said I did

because I used it to call you on my way over

and also to call Eric; she went quiet and

then said “are you sure you didn’t leave it at

home” I said No, I definitely had it in my

pocket. I told her that I was going to check

the car on my way home to look although I

knew for sure that I had my mobile in my

pocket, I didn’t find the mobile in the car; I

search the house unwillingly, because I

Rosemary’s Living Room

Part 2By Emansha

I had been visiting Rosemary now for some-

thing like eleven months but an incident

happen with my mobile phone which left me

considering my friendship with this woman.

I had a call from Rosemary, one afternoon

asking me to come over and help her to move

her beloved family Chesterfield settee she has

had it since she was married back in the

days. I went over to help her move the

Chesterfield but it was too heavy, really

heavy so I told her I would go and get some-

one to help and I would return shortly. I

returned to Rosemary’s house with a man I

knew who did removals. I didn’t want to

bring anyone to her house because of the

condition but Eric was ok. He understood

because he had family member’s living in

conditions like Rosemary’s and some of them

had mental health issues.

Eric and I entered the house and went

straight into the living room where Rosemary

was laying down on the bed. I greeted her

and introduced her to Eric. She told Eric she

wanted more space in the room that’s why

she wanted the settee moved to the back

room, he said “no problem ma” and he began

measuring up the door space to the settee he

looked at me and called me into the passage.

“Look he said, I can’t handle the smell, I have

to go outside for some air”. I said ok, it took

me sometime to handle the smell but by now

I was used to the smell of strong disinfectant


12

knew I last had the phone at Rosemary’s

house. I decided to drive back to her house

and look again. When I arrived at

Rosemary’s house she seemed reluctant to let

me in, she behave as if she was not sure who

I was I couldn’t understand her sudden

change, and I really needed to find my phone.

Suddenly an idea came to me. So I decided

to use Rosemary’s phone to call my number.

I asked if I could use her phone, oh! She said

“what you going to do” so I explained and

Rosemary said she didn’t know where her

phone was. Her phone was always difficult to

find because of the rubbish she often piled

up on top of it (old newspapers, take away

food boxes, rotten fruits etc) but I was deter-

mined and dug through the rubbish to find

the phone and I did. As I began to ring my

number Rosemary, sat up on the edge of the

bed waiting anxiously, I could see it on her

face she looked worried.

After waiting for the connection would you

believe it my mobile started to ring in her

room, I said “Rosemary can you hear that?”

No, hear what she said, I replied, “it’s my

phone ringing can you hear it?” I started

moving boxes and following the sound, the

ringing was getting louder and louder, I

looked at Rosemary and said “can you hear it

now!?” she said nothing and looked away. I

finally found the phone stuffed down the

inside of a large box in the far corner of the

living room, I don’t recall even going near the

box that evening and if it had fallen in it

would have been on the top but instead it

was stuffed far down the side of the box so it

left me to conclude that Rosemary tried to

steal my mobile.

On thinking back there was an occasion

where Rosemary was asking me for my

mobile, I didn’t think anything of it; she said

she had a niece abroad and she wanted to

send her a mobile phone and she liked my

mobile so much she asked if I would give it to

her when I brought a new one. The conver-

sation end in my agreement to help her to

look for a more suitable phone (my phone

was a bit old now) when she was ready but I

had no idea she would have gone as far as to

try and steal from me, the person who has

been so supportive to her and cared for her

as a true friend, I was in shock so once I had

found the phone I left.

I didn’t visit or call for around two weeks. I

just couldn’t understand the different per-

sonality disorders of her illness. However, I

forgave her and contacted her by phone

immediately. “Hi Rosemary, how are you”,

“Oh girl” she would say “I am ok”, but I

always knew she wasn’t ok she would never

admitted to not being ok such a proud an

stubborn woman; she told me she needed me

to come over and do some cleaning and has I

had not been for two full weeks I started to

feel sick, sick of the thought of all the mess

she must have made in that short space of

time.

I couldn’t bring myself to visit Rosemary that

week so I delayed the visit again, I needed

help with this woman I just couldn’t cope any

longer but I had spoken to Rosemary numer-

ous times about getting real assistance with

her issues and she always replied “No, they

want to take away my house and put me in

sheltered housing, I want to die here, this is

my home”. I considered calling social servic-

es, about Rosemary; I considered looking into

charities that could help, I considered all

sorts of things to try and help so I decided to

talk it over with a close family member.

My eldest sister runs her own business and

is very successful business woman always

gave us advice in times of stress. She sat me

down and told me a similar story to

Rosemary’s. She also advised me to get out

of this friendship, she said that the stress she

can see I am under is not worth it, its best

you put your efforts into your family and

keep your focus the conditions the lady lives

in is out of control and very unhygienic “ you

could catch some illness there and pass it


13

onto friends and family” she said (I never

even considered this I just wanted to help),

my sister told me to leave her family and the

authorities to deal with it and if they already

know about her then she should be getting

more assistance. What about her daughter

my sister asked? I don’t see her I replied.

Well as a conclusion to this meeting I made a

decision to leave Rosemary alone initially but

I couldn’t just leave her like that so I went

back one evening.

It was now four weeks since I had last been

to visit her although I had kept in touch by

phone. I had finish work early one evening so

I headed straight over to Rosemary’s house,

anxious to see how she had cope herself, or if

she had got someone else to help, I knew the

neighbors’ tried to look out for her occasion-

ally, I suppose secretly I was hoping things

had got better and someone else was taking

care of Rosemary; I was dreading the work

but I had gloves and a change of clothes in

the boot of the car so I was still prepared to

do some cleaning and clearing for her.

It wasn’t a surprise visit either as Rosemary,

didn’t like surprises and if you didn’t call her

before you came round you are likely to be

left standing at the front door in any weath-

er, so she was expecting me. I parked in the

usual place and headed towards Rosemary’s

front door, there was a really, really terrible

smell it made me feel literally sick. I contin-

ue up the stairs and stood at the door the

smell was coming through the door it was

overwhelming. It was so strong I used my

jacket to cover my nose. I knock the door, no

answer; I knocked again harder, still no

answer suddenly, I hear the familiar shuffling

noises she usually makes on her attempts to

get to the front door over the rubbish and

boxes in the living room.

Rosemary opened the front door and I can’t

begin to tell you how horrified I was when I

looked in, I could not pass the front door

because of the rubbish it was pile high like a

mountain; the front door could only open

enough for you to squeeze yourself in and

there were FLIES. Thousands of flies, they

were everywhere, the only way to describe

this infestation is to think of bees, the flies

were like bees hanging of the light fittings it

made my skin crawl, I couldn’t go inside, the

flies were on the door, ceiling, the wall, the

lights fittings, and I just could not go in.

I stepped back from the door and stood out-

side talking to her. Rosemary came closer to

the door and peered her head around it “you

not coming in she said” I said “you know I

HATE flies and there are thousands; “go and

get me some fly killer then she replied,

“what’s happening Rosemary? I said, You

need help I can’t help you, this is too much

for me” I told her I have to let social services

know because I can’t leave her like this, she

got angry immediately, really annoyed near-

ly hysterical so I had to agreed not to so she

would calm down.

I did however, go to the shop and buy the fly

killer, disinfectant spray, antibacterial wipes

and brought it back for Rosemary, but I still

couldn’t go inside and the smell was making

me feel really unwell so I left. I also went to

visit the few family members I knew she had

in the area because Rosemary often pointed

them out to me on our travels around town

and being a small town everyone knows

everyone so they were not difficult to find. I

told them that I had tried taking care of

Rosemary and it’s been really difficult I just

cannot cope alone and I am just a friend tak-

ing on their responsibly. I pleaded with a

couple of them to try and help her.


14

However, the conclusion of my conversations

with her family members were that (and I

quote) “you should leave her alone, aunty has

been like that since uncle left her and their

marriage ended in divorce, we have tried

everything but she will not leave the house

and her mental health is being treated by the

hospital, we can’t do any more than we have,

we were the ones who notified the authori-

ties. So it’s up to you if you want the respon-

sibility”

Well! I didn’t leave her alone; we are still

friends (we don’t have so much contact now)

but still contact each other by phone.

Rosemary is now getting help and support

from church friends and as I don’t visit her

home any more I can only listen to what she

tells me. She has recently double glazed the

entire windows in the house (this I have seen,

while driving by) which has made her feel like

a new woman (she is even prouder than

before) and I am looking forward to hearing

from her soon about her progress however,

slow.

The End

Emansha

MENTAL ILLNESS

By RC (Luton)

I looked at mental illness as a punishment

from God

Not for what we have done, or should..

But for our parents and our forefathers before

And if we don’t look into mental illness now

You will find that our children,

and their children’s children will also suffer.

All the government can say

Is that mental illness is not a priority.

So to save money they are closing down

all the day centres

leaving the mentally ill on the streets

with no dignity.

There will be more deaths

over Christmas period

than any other time of the year!

And why should the government want those in

authority shed a tear

When they have all got somewhere to live and

someone to love

Over the worst time of the year

(for me) - Christmas.

Written by RC suffering from mental illness.


Money can’t buy you love. It can’t buy youhappiness either. Today’s materialistic worldoften urges us to buy the coolest gadgets, thetrendiest clothes, bigger and better things,but research shows that possessions and pur-chases don’t buy us happiness. According toan article on CNN, “by and large, money buyshappiness only for those who lack the basicneeds. Once you pass an income of $50,000,more money doesn’t buy much more happi-ness [according to happiness studies].” Sowhile we are being pushed towards material-ism, it’s for monetary gain by corporations,not for our own happiness.

All around us, there are messages telling us tobuy stuff. On the internet, we see continuousadvertising trying to get us to purchase aproduct or service. It’s the main reason for tel-evision, and movies are continually made withproducts placed throughout; so that we aren’talways sure what is advertising and what wasput in there by the director. Flip on the radioor open up a newspaper or magazine, andyou’re bombarded by more advertising. Go toa shopping center/mall, and the urge to buy

comes from every direction. This message tocontinually buy, buy, buy and that it will some-how make us happier is drilled into our headsfrom the days of Happy Meals and cartoonsuntil the day we die. It’s inescapable. Well,almost. You could go and live in a cabin in thewoods (and that actually sounds nice), or youcould still live in our modern society, but findways to escape materialism.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to escape the trap ofmaterialism, and find happiness in ways otherthan buying stuff online or finding joy in themall. But it is possible.

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in

another city” - George Burns


Around mid-December (2012), David Rodigan resigned

from Kiss FM where he had work for 22 years. Why? In an

interview with Chin (Irish & Chin, USA) he says it was

because he viewed the marginalisation of his radio pro-

gramme into the twilight zone of broadcasting, as unac-

ceptable - the twilight zone is often referred to as the

graveyard shift!

He added that his decision, was not a slight to those radio

broadcasters who choose to keep their listener’s company

after midnight as broadcasters have a duty to keep their

listeners company.

Radio has been David’s love, and he thinks it is unaccept-

able for Programme Directors and managers to put the

music - be it jazz, classical, techno, reggae, the list is long

in a specialist form at a time he regards as socially unac-

ceptable. Reggae, as we all know, is David’s genre, which

has the specialist category, and therefore has been rele-

gated to the midnight to 1am slot.

Historically, 22years the first ever record played on legal

Kiss was 1992.. there were three reggae shows Joey roots,

manassa show and Davids show was on 7-10 on a Monday

night. Over the years, the show was pushed back and

pushed back and recently it was on from 11 – 1pm it was

then reduced from 120 minus to 60 minutes to 1 hour and

it was on from 11 til midnight and then three weeks ago,

he was told that the format had changed once again from

midnight to 1am.

Rodigan felt insulted by the implication was that if you

want to listen to his on Kiss FM, Listeners would have to

wait until after midnight to listen it, in a condensed format

which he found demeaning. David failed to understand

why it was not possible for the show to go on at a time

when it was socially acceptable.

Rodigan states: “The vast majority of people are going to

bed at midnight, and if you are passionate about a partic-

ular type of music and your broadcaster has been given a

right to broadcast by the government is making it difficult

to listen to it, I don’t think it is fair”.

Programmers informed David that “We are living in a new

world, people will listen to a programme at a time when it

is convenient to them, i.e. via the I-player, and because of

this, they are able to replay the show whenever they want

to!”

He was told that other forms of music are more popular

and that Craig David would be taking his spot broadcasting

from Florida.

Rodigan initially accepted the Programmer’s justification

as a reason and started the midnight show for three weeks

but then felt it was not right and resigned.

Rodigan’s show was the only show on KISS FM that played

reggae music, and when his listeners started to complain

about the timing, and David tried to convince them,

unsuccessfully, that they could listen to his show on I-

Player, his conscience would not allow him to continue.

He says: “One evening I went in to record a show, and the

man in the mirror would not accept it”.

Rodigan felt there were double standards and that para-

doxically, if Programmes were saying that it is easy for

people to listen to a show at any time, why did they not

put Craig David’s show on at a later time?

Rodigan admitted that Kiss FM’s

Programme Director of 13 years

has been one of the most success-

ful programme directors, and feels

he knows what he is doing

Rodigan was forced to question and examine why reggae

listenership is decreasing. He accepts that because

Reggae is a specialist genre, there will always be less lis-

16

RESIGNS FROM KISS FM


teners, but that there comes a point, on principle, where

you draw a line on audience figures, because this is what he

needs to be said.

In Rodigan’s experience, the source of the survey for audi-

ence listeners late at night is relatively small compared to

the sample used at other times of the day. “There are too

many other choices at any other time of day, so if there is a

smaller sample, will be by its very nature, possibly to have

spikes”. Apart from that, he feels there is more than

enough justification from Programmers, because there are

so many radio stations, R & B is the new pop. However,

Rodigan claims that programme directors and controllers

have always had a problem with programming reggae music

- he doesn’t know why, but if they have one reggae list, that

is all they have – no more than 3, and about 5 hip hop- why

is it not possible, regardless of figures? Is the music so irrel-

evant that is doesn’t matter? it has been sidelined and mar-

ginalised by people who sees reggae music as getting in the

way of their homogenous type music.

Rodigan recalled that when the reggae station left Capital

Radio in 1990, it was never replaced – Kiss FM was created

to serve the needs for people who wanted to hear reggae.

Rodigan believes, however, that Kiss FM will maintain reg-

gae.

During the interview with Chin,

David recollected that In 1970s,

if you went to a reggae dance,

you didn’t hear soul, and that if

you went to a soul dance, you

wouldn’t hear reggae - there was

a clear division even then. Rodigan acknowledges that reg-

gae has a strong cultural identity – different from any other

form of music, but that since 2007 years, we have seen a

homogenisation of music.

For example, Major Lazer have taken elements of Jamaican

culture and Culture Clash—a clash of different cultures of

music, and different cultures. He said that the event was

attended by 9,000 people and 6,000 tickets were sold in

advance. Rodigan went to Major’s event and said that one

corner ‘Annie Mack presents’ from BBC Radio 1 who plays

all forms of music, and that there the guest selectors like

Lady Dynamite and others. Rodigan noticed a Grime sound

system, who played bass driven music and MCs who rap

over London. He said that the Jamaican roots system

Channel 1 challenged Major Lazer and that each team

exhibited the quality of music that makes them special. He

enthusiastically mentioned the ‘Sleeping with the enemy’

segment, where DJs play music out of character, e.g., Major

Lazer played reggae, customised dubs, and Luciano came

on for Channel One; Major Lazer brought on Johnny

Osbourne, that reiterated that playing this type of reggae,

was playing out of character.

All DJs resorted to ethics of culture clash and then coun-

teracted it - Rodigan emphasised that the event was not a

traditional sound clash.

Chin then asked Rodigan, how sales are measured in the

modern era. People do not purchase music anymore:

“They are comparing it to the sales of other genres, that

is the issue”.

Rodigan continued to educate his lisening audience by

informing them that In 1960s reggae, music did not chart

because the music was bought from West Indian record

shops that they did not make record returns, so did not

reach the charts even though it sold enough to make it on

the charts. For example: “How long will it take” by Pat

Kelly, sold 1,000s of copies – it sold from W I shops not

chart returns shops - reggae was not on the radar.. it did

not exist - reggae music is very much a cottage industry.

Chris Blackwell sold records from the back of a car.

Jamaicans are entrepreneurs are capable of doing stuff in

their own world.

From 1964 record sales to now, the influence of ipad and

media; similarly young people don’t purchase, they sup-

port the band; they go to the concerts - they turn up to

the shows, so the whole idea that they should purchase

music becomes invalid.

Chin then asked again: “So how is it measured? Above

and beyond Itunes, how do you measure the sales of

music?”

Rodigan responded: “There will always be specialist forms

of music that will have the mass appeal that normal pop

music has... Heavy metal is specialist..”

So key factor he believes that the programme directors

are responsible for allowing listenting to listen to special-

ist music at a time that is sociably acceptable.

Look what they have done to my music – why are they

doing this? To presume the music is not relevant is

wrong.. Jamaican music has a tremendous heritage.. go to

Europe.. Japan..

Irie Jam and they have a legal right to broadcast –

Pirate stations - people can get reggae elsewhere.. so

don’t need Kiss FM

17


18

I AM ME...

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one elseexactly like me. Everything that comes out ofme is authentically mine, because I alonechose it — I own everything about me: mybody, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all myactions, whether they be to others or myself. Iown my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, myfears. I own my triumphs and successes, all myfailures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become inti-mately acquainted with me. By so doing, I canlove me and be friendly with all my parts. Iknow there are aspects about myself that puz-zle me, and other aspects that I do not know —but as long as I am friendly and loving tomyself, I can courageously and hopefully lookfor solutions to the puzzles and ways to findout more about me.

However, I look and sound, whatever I say anddo, and whatever I think and feel at a givenmoment in time is authentically me. If latersome parts of how I looked, sounded, thought,and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discardthat which is unfitting, keep the rest, andinvent something new for that which I discard-ed. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. Ihave the tools to survive, to be close to others,to be productive, and to make sense and orderout of the world of people and things outsideof me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. Iam me, and I am Okay.”

Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (AmericanPsychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

By Slycrow

How to Tell a Leap of Faithfrom a Stupid Decision

Some psychologists classify every emotion aseither love (attraction) or fear (aversion). It’s notunusual for humans to base almost every deci-sion on fear: fear of rejection, fear of poverty,fear of looking stupid, and so on - fear-baseddecisions lead to hollow victories at best, end-less regret at worst. Only love-based decisionscreate lasting happiness. That’s why the poet—Sara Teasdale advised, “Spend all you have forloveliness/ Buy it and never count the cost.” I’mwith her all the way. Loveliness—emphasis on“love”—is the only thing worth buying.

Now, discriminating between fear-based andlove-based decisions can be confusing,because leaps of faith are frightening evenwhen the choice to make them is based on love.(Just because you really want to have a baby orrun your own business doesn’t mean going intolabour or launching a startup isn’t terrifying.)You can gain more clarity by getting into thehabit of imagining the choices you’d make if youhad no fear of failing, of losing, of being alone,of disapproval. Take a minute now to practice:What clothes would you wear tomorrow ifeveryone were sure to approve? What musicwould you listen to today if nobody else werearound—not even in your mind? What books,movies, or food would you enjoy if no one everjudged you?

Going to a fearless place in your imaginationwill show you clearly which decisions still havefire and energy, and which lose steam withoutanxiety as their fuel. The former are endoge-nous—meaning they arise from your inneressence, not from external pressures—andthey’re the foundation of every great leap.

If following your heart’s desire seems crazy butnot following it is becoming more and more dif-ficult with every passing week or month or year,your choices come down to taking a leap of faithor living with the regret of never having tried.Wouldn’t you rather jump?

All you have to do, is set a date. The leap fromyour mind to your calendar is the moment ofcommitment. It’s that simple. Right now, set adate for any action you can take that will moveyou toward your heart’s desire. Then tell peopleabout it. Those same external opinions that youmust ignore when making a choice can helpimmensely once you’ve chosen. By Martha Beck


19

What Has NutritionGot To Do With Me?Robert Deroy-Facey, Nutritionist

When someone has a poor diet, through lack of nutri-tional knowledge they can become depressed, emo-tional and withdrawn. They then seek to find comfortin food or even drugs (legal and illegal) leading to aneven deeper downward spiral into mental illness.There are also the side effects/direct effects of medica-tion on the person’s health. Fix one problem and cause10 more!

I was not always a nutritionist (or as some people callit having a fad about food!) - Initially, I worked for 8years in music retail as a buyer, then various manage-ment jobs until quitting full-time work in 2006. Duringthis period, I spent time with my family, did some soulsearching “to see knowledge of self”, met many inter-esting people, and formed an organisation called MALI(Mama Africa’s Love Inspires) named after my daughter,to commemorate the 200thanniversary abolition ofslavery.

A few months earlier I had a reading and was told to“keep doing what I’m doing as the universe has plansfor me” and a reasoning session (conversation) with anelder told me “that the light was now on and I cannotgo back!” I had started a strong desire to do somethingmeaningful with my life now and the universe wasindeed guiding me to a place of giving.

Referred by my wife, I was offered the post ofCompany Secretary with Rainforest Creations, a RawFoods specialist company in London where I also con-ducted market research, managed festivals and shows.One of the director’s told me “he could see I was‘searching’ but not to worry, the universe will show methe way!” and shortly afterwards, under his recommen-dation I started studying Nutrition and Herbalism.

I passed Nutrition with a distinction and decided toform a business called Consciously Well. I changed mylifestyle, started cleansing and recognising direct linksand affects foods had on our emotions, thoughtprocess and behaviour. My business had two maingoals 1) using consciousness (knowledge of self andspirituality) and 2) wellness (health in mind and body).

In 2010, I resigned from Rainforest Creations, decided

to host 2 radio shows on nutrition on a local inter-net radio station and then started working forHolland and Barrett part-time.

I am now a qualified Advanced Product Advisor,coupled with my knowledge in nutrition, herbalism,anatomy and physiology that I studied in 2011, I amindeed on a new path - one of giving.

I believe good nutrition is extremely important as ithelps to prevent many diseases, all of which can onlyinvade the body if you continually consume poorfoods (for example, foods that raise the level of yourcholesterol or heart pressure). An increasing prob-lem in this country now is obesity and being over-weight which can lead to many ailments like highblood pressure, high blood sugar, heart problems,stroke, depression, joint pain, interrupted sleep andemotional problems.

During consultations with clients I always investigatetheir personal and family nutritional history, as thereis always a root or source to their emotional, physi-cal or mental problem mental. I also recommendcolon cleansing and detoxification to purge the bodyfrom build up of stagnant waste material (foods thathave entered the body and remained) as well as tox-ins and chemicals from processed foods and antibi-otics.

It is advisable foreveryone to con-sume more foodsof colour (e.g.,cabbage, toma-toes, green andyellow peppers,etc) that natureitself has provid-ed for us. Thereare also many

fruits, seeds, nuts, vegetables available that can healthe body and cure many ailments in the body. Goodnutrition is vital to function properly in a world thatis moving too fast.

The answers to wellbeing, do not lie in processedsynthetic foods and drugs but in natural foods - a bal-anced healthy diet and natural herbs. I believe thatwe are of the earth and therefore we should con-sume foods of the earth. “Let food be thy medicine...…and true wealth is health”.

My philosophy is that the mind, body and spirit areconnected, therefore we are all as one - you cannotseparate them and treat them individually. This is whywe are in the state we are in today and so many peo-ple are suffering from misdiagnosis and over pre-scribed drugs that are sometimes only treating thesymptoms and not the root cause.

Robert Deroy-FaceyNutritionistConsciously Well


20

“DID YOU KNOW”(Low Tolerance in Relationships)

Should you have a low tolerance policy inrelationships? I would say you should defi-nitely have a low tolerance policy; ratheryou’re male or female. This is very impor-tant as you don’t want the person thatyou’re with to think that you’re a pushoverin any kind of way. When you’re in a rela-tionship with somebody you have to knowthey respect you as much as you mayrespect them. But often times there aremany things that people do to each otherover the course of the relationship thatwould suggest they have no regard for eachother whatsoever. A lot of these things areusually very subtle and you have to watchcarefully in order to catch them. But to theastute individual who pays attention tothese things you’ll catch all of these minorsigns of disrespect.

Some people would suggest that sometimesmen and women make too much out of lit-tle things, but often times they don’t under-stand these little things can and will becomebig things in the future. Some people justdon’t understand it’s best to nip thesethings in the bud now before they get out ofcontrol. This shouldn’t be a problem if theperson that you’re with is considerate ofyour feelings. Why would you want to bewith anyone who wasn’t considerate of yourfeelings? It doesn’t make sense yet it hap-pens every day in numerous relationships.If you want to be one of the people that

break the cycle of high tolerance you mustfirst learn how to recognize small signs ofdisrespect in the beginning. How can youdo this? Here are two ways to get youstarted.

Do not let someone play with yourtime:

Often time’s people in relationships willplay cute little games with each other’stime. One person might say that they’ll beat a certain place at a certain time and notshow up until much later, and in extremecases they may not show up at all.Recognize from the beginning that you’rebeing played with and tested. The otherperson is just trying to see how much theycan get you to put up with before youbreak. If the other person sees that you’regoing to tolerate this kind of behavior thenthey’ll surely keep on doing it. So the firsttime someone tries this on you make sureyou tell them you will not stand for this. Ifthey don’t see things your way stop datingthem.

Don’t stand for little games ofjealousy:

Sometimes when one or the other personin a relationship feels like they’re beingignored they’ll try to play little games withthe person to make them jealous. Theymay try to flirt with a friend of yours or payextra attention to someone they know youdon’t like. This is solely designed to makeyou jealous and make you react. If yougive in to this and react negatively thanthe other person will know exactly what todo to push your buttons so that they getthe required response out of you whenev-er they need to. So if you see this kind ofbehavior rising in a relationship at all,make sure that you check it at the frontdoor and let the other person know youwill not stand for it.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be willing togive a person a chance in a relationship.I’m just saying you shouldn’t tolerate dis-respect and total disregard for your feel-ings. If someone is going to be with you,especially if you plan on being with theperson for a long time then you have tomake sure they understand that you willnot tolerate any disrespect from them nowor in the future. No matter how much youcare about the other person it is never anexcuse to be a doormat for anybody. Lowtolerance in a relationship should definite-ly be at the top of anyone’s priority list.

Bradley Jackson-Pitt


21

Love yourself ...from the inside out!When I was at the swimming pool today, a lady I have gotspeaking to told another lady that was there that I some-times do 100 lengths.

This other woman, rather than say ‘Oh well done’ or any-thing complimentary, instead just gave me one of thoselooks up and down, you know the sort only women cangive, which in an instant can wipe out all your confidenceand make you feel like you should be apologising for beingyou!

Her withered look basically said all that was obviouslygoing through her mind, ‘But you’re fat, you can’t possiblybe fit’. Maybe I am being unfair, maybe she wasn’t think-ing that at all, but the look certainly said she was, and thetight little smile she managed afterwards followed it up.

Once upon a time one of those looks would have sent mescurrying back into the changing room and hiding tilleveryone had gone, made me lose all self worth and makeme hate myself.

However today, I just smiled broadly at her, right into herface, and said ‘Yep, I certainly do, and I love it’ and walkedoff to the pool.

I didn’t give a damn what she thought, it made no differ-ence to me, she was nothing to me, I was there to dosomething about my weight, and nothing she said or didwas going to change that, I was doing it for myself, not forher or anybody else’s approval.

~BREAKFAST~

This is one of myfavourites, although mostpeople would probablybalk at the though of eat-ing it at 6.30 in the morn-ing, but I love it. Breakfastis my favourite meal ofthe day, it has to besomething I love and thatexcites me.

So it was two slices of Nimble wholemeal topped with a tinof mackerel in brine (drained obviously), with lots of vine-gar and white pepper.

I toast one side of the bread then before toasting the otherside I spread a little Flora Lighter than Light and arrangethe mackerel on top and season it, then grill. Once toast-ed and warmed through I season liberally again with vine-gar.

I had this with another half a grapefruit, again grilled andtopped with cinnamon. Delicious.

~MID MORNING SNACK~

Today, as I had had such a fillingbreakfast, I just nibbled on someof the almonds, apricots andseeds that I keep in a tub on mydesk.

Just a little handful is enough tokeep the energy boosted and the blood sugar levels sta-ble.

~LUNCH~

Lunch today was not the prettiest to look at, but still tastedgood. I mixed some ready cooked quinoa with some flakedpoached salmon and little brown shrimps, and addedsome chickpeas. I I dressed it a dressing made of rape-seed oil, white wine vinegar, dijon and wholegrain mustardand honey. Then finished it with a squeeze of lemon justbefore I ate it. Was very filling though, didn’t manage to eatit all!

~AFTERNOON SNACK~

Had to go shopping after swimming today so when I gothome I just picked at some mango chunks I had picked up,love mango! They taste so good you forget the are healthy!

Amongst their many, many benefits, they are good for theskin. Mangos contain beta-carotene, which is converted byyour body to vitamin A. That and vitamin C are crucial forskin self-repair. You can even mash them up and make aface mask, great for unclogging pores and reducing pim-ples.


Photo of little girl by Garfield Hall

Back Cover by Lakshmi Narayan Gupta22

~DINNER~

Tonight was a ‘bung it in and see’ dinner, and it was a hugesuccess!

Bacon, Chorizo and Kale spaghetti.

I chopped a couple of mini chorizo sausages and dry friedthem in a pan to release their oils. I then wiped the pan of theoils. I took some lean bacon medallions, cut them into stripsand added them to the chorizo and cooked it all till crisp.I then added a chopped up red onion and cooked till soft-ened, further adding some chopped up asparagus, a coupleof handfuls of kurly Kale and some frozen peas and let it allcook down a little.

In the meantime I added some wholewheat spaghetti to a panof boiling water and let it cook.

I then added a couple of tablespoons of philadelphia extralight and a ladle of the pasta water and let it melt in. Finally Igave it a good dose of white pepper and some chilli flakes,added the drained pasta and mixed it all together. Servedwith a sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan cheese on top.

It was soooo good and soooo tasty, Matt practically licked thebowl out!!!

~EXERCISE~

So today was back in the pool. My body had had lots of love-ly rest over the weekend and I was full of energy and readyto go again. I absolutely love being in the water, it totally,totally relaxes me. With every stroke I love the feeling ofpushing through the water and feeling it ‘slosh’ back overyour body.

The pool was pretty empty today which always makes mejust keep going for as long as possible whilst I can. I swamfor about 1 hour 15 minutes, and I think I hit just short of 100today, I only got out because I knew I had to go shopping.I heard a saying the other day of ‘Don’t count the laps, justmake sure each lap counts’ and that is what I am now tryingto do. Putting every effort into each lap to ensure I am push-ing my body to its full capacity and getting the most out of it,not overworking it to ensure I reach a certain number! If it hashad enough, I will stop, knowing I have given it a good work-out.

By Josie

http://w8ofmymind.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/love-yourself-from-inside-

out.html


www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews or www.issuu.com/blackbrightnewsemail: [email protected]

Founder & Managing Editor: Myrna Loy

BB llaacckkbbrriigghhtt NNeewwssTTaakkeess uuss oouutt ooff tthhee ddaarrkknneessss,, iinnttoo tthhee ll iigghhtt !!

Photo of little girl by Garfield Hall

Back Cover by Lakshmi Narayan Gupta


Blackbright News Reveals Moslem Culture

Documents

Transcript of Blackbright News Reveals Moslem Culture