Black Spring

Jordan Sullivan

Kiss Another Day Goodbye

saw the rain on your facethen the tears comin down

melissa said she was goin outmeeting danny downtown

i didn’t know then that you wouldn’t come backi didn’t know then then that was the end

that was that

held your hand the day your daddy passedread to you from the books he read before he was dead

you told me you dreamt he was in heavenbut our dreams never come true

we just grow up and get tiredas old as the blues

and i don’t know how much longeri can feel the way i feel and never cry

and i don’t know how much longer i can kiss another day goodbye

i remember that day on suicide bridgewatching the ghosts of yesterday

climb those muddy cliffswe listened to the records that made us forget

you took my breath away and made me cry when you said you were scared to die

and i forgive you god if you’re still therei forgive this town and this rain that never goes away

i forgive you melissa wherever you areand i forgive you danny for stealing her heart

i guess it was me and you and bad blood from the startguess it was heaven and hell

guess its time that always tells

Tommy

talked to god on the cornershe told me life was a mess

time just theft and it can’t be keptso I got blood on my hands and knocked on tommy’s door

we were so fucking poor how could i not want more

told tommy grab the moneysteal the car

lets find our homesaw his dad choke his mom on a bathroom floor

life was brutal, life was a chore, it goes on and onhow could he not want something more

a mile past the county line a mile inside the devils time

our girls in the backseatthe pedal on the floor

the life we knew was over only here and now

no beforehow could we not want so much more

no more friday nightsno more black and blue midnights

rachel takes out the candy we put the pills on our tongues

beth leans back and laughs, says, “we aint even that young,but this life has just begun”

For Rachel (The Bad Sleep Well)

we lived wellbut life was rotten

they murdered everyoneand everyone was innocent

i was taken to heavenand ran straight back to hell

you were rightthe bad sleep well

one bullet to the brainkilled your old man

you found him lying therehis blood in the sand

so you fucked the pain awaywhen you ran out of tears

found every dirtbag in sightand said it was love at first sight

i found you sleeping on the streetput your blood on my sheets

carved my neck with your teethit was meant to be

your favorite star always shinesyour heart skips a beat

i’ll love you foreverthis was meant to be

Black Spring

they elected the president last nightand you ask me if i went to votei remind you that i was with you

we lit up that dust and stayed in to smoke

you ask me if the world will changei tell you for us it won’twe were born this wayand we’ll die this way there’s only one way

“remember you used to hold me when I cried,” you’d saidi inhale, let out that heart-shaped smoke

as your eyes go red

so you slam the doorand put on that same song you played last night

you ain’t a beauty but i think you’re alrightthat’s when i see the light

tommy and beth come through the back doorone month in hiding but they know the score

wheres the money, tommy barksi smoked it to the core

rachel comes outeyes bleeding

tommy panics, fires off a roundnow rachel’s on the floor kneeling

beth screams outtommy runs out the door

rachel on her kneeshow’d we let it get this far

now i’m chasing down tommyrachel in the backseat bleeding

beth holds her handthey both start screaming

Black Spring (cont.)

i pull onto dover streetbeth starts to plead

he didn’t mean it, she crieswe gotta get help or rachel dies

but i’m long goneshe’s too high to die

i’m too high to cryso i’m outta the car and i don’t even know why

yelling at tommy to unlock the fucking doori’ll tell him its not like before

then i’ll put a bullet in his skulldrag him through the dirt, tell him this what livings for

we had a million years to get this right

so now its gonna end tonighti’m screaming till my lungs bleed

think of beth and rachel and my heart starts to speed

feel the blood on rachels hipremember the taste of her lips

imagine the bullet in tommy’s heartthis all went wrong from the start

now its juggernaut blackgood kid gone bad

everyone dreams under one skybut god never says hello

only good bye

rachel takes a breathevery one could be her last

this is what tommy didhow can i forgive

days on parker streetwe were just kids, 11 or 12

no rain for milesno thoughts of hell

good kids turn badbut maybe those good kids can come back

so i put the gun awaypray the sun comes out to stay

Black Spring (cont.)

we know these streets by all the mistakes we made of them

and now i see the end is comin soonall the blood runnin lightning blue

and i loved you all this timebut now it’s done and this is goodbye

i take rachels handleave beth and tommy to be damned

rachels got nine livesso we’re gonna get outta this alive

peel out to the highwaylistening for angels in her cries

digging for diamonds in her eyesthink of melissathink of danny

think of tommy and beththink of mom and grandmaand dad gripping his chest

where’s jamie and davieand the gang from the party store

the old men in suitswho survived a thousand winters or more

where’s tim and will and prattand the carver street kids

the ones with swollen lips and butterfly eyelids

wheres my brother and sisterhow come they ain’t here

we could’ve been so much more give us back all those years

and where’s god and the devilto save me or damn me

i gotta feel something before this life kills me

where’s ms. kim and the girls from the lakethe ones with the weed and the candy colored snakes

and where are you now and where are we

the forgotten childrengods bastard sons

stay with me rachelkeep your eyes on the sun

mornings coming quick and this’ll all be done.

Black Springby Jordan Sullivan

published by Blood of the Young, 2013

www.jordan-sullivan.comwww.bloodoftheyoungzine.com

all content copyright Jordan Sullivan, 2013

For Rachel (The Bad Sleep Well) contains an excerpt from Paradise Motel by Charles Simic

Kiss Another Day Goodbye contains an excerpt from Kiss Another Day Goodbye by David Kaufman