July 2015 | Issue 93 | £1.50 where bought

remarkable RELATIONSHIPSDifferenceofOpinion

Knit and NATTERTea and charity all beginswith a ball of wool

©Michael Branicki

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THIS MONTH..

HOUSE AND GARDENS

12 Planning MattersCheck out this months round up of planningapplications in and around Lee on Solent

14 In House ChatOur award winning local agent Mark Rowe impartsmore house knowledge and tips.

CHILDREN, PETS & EDUCATION

7 Kids PageImmerse yourself in some Jungle Fun with puzzlesand spot the difference.

COMMUNITY

20 Gig GuideSupport your local bands and enjoy some fabulouslive music at pubs in the area during May and June.

10 St Faiths’ ChurchKnit and natter. Find out more about this thriving

little group when Alan Millard popped in andenjoyed a rather nice session of tea and cake!

HEALTH, BEAUTY & LIFESTYLE

26 Differences of OpinionWe are never all going to see the world in the sameway and Jessica McGregor Johnson shows us howto manage disagreements with your partner.

july issue 2015

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Recipes, com

munity,health

,

properties and more

If you’ve got a local Good News story we’d love tohear about it! Whether it’s kindly friends or

neighbours going out of their way to help eachother, children doing fab activities that make

them smile, winning awards or just doing a goodturn we’d love to know! Email your stories to us

at editor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk

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SmSmalal ltalkltalk

Advertise with us!

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Coralie Todd & Sean Middletoneditor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk

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This Big Voice Bigazine is deliveredto residents and businesses in Leeon the Solent and Cherque FarmFor distribution enquiries pleasegive us a call and speak to Sean.

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“Don’t underestimatethe value of doingnothing….

… of just going along, listening to all the thingsyou can’t hear and not bothering” said (myfavourite) Winnie the Pooh.

I have got to the tender age of 40(ish) and I’m only just starting toappreciate the benefits of just stopping. That might sound completelyridiculous but when you’re an incredibly busy person there just isn’t thetime to stop. With endless lists, children to sort and businesses to runwhere do you schedule a ‘stop’? After all, if I stop then that pushesthings out of sync and then I’m even busier when I come to start again.

That’s right isn’t it?

Or not. We recently found ourselves child free for a day and with theweather being fairly miserable decided, uncharacteristically, to pack upsome sandwiches and a few books and drive down to Titchfield Haven.We set up camp in the back of our Bongo (lovingly known as the fun busto the kids) and sat for an afternoon doing very, very little.

It seemed decadent, luxuriousand amazing. And the best bit?It rejuvenated me and gave memore energy to do all the thingsI needed to the following week.OK so this seems a bit obviousbut until you step out of yourcomfort zone and realise theworld doesn’t fall apart if youtake a little time out then you’llnever know how therapeutic itcan be. Go on, try it.

Much love until next monthCoralie and Sean x

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Lee -on-the-Solent Horticultural SocietyHolds Three Shows a Year and a number ofSocial Evenings, also has a Trading Hut forMembers opens 10 -12 Noon on Sundays andThursdays. Contact Membership Secretary02392 554363

Lee PlayersWe meet in Crofton Hall Theatre CroftonCommunity Centre, Stubbington every Tuesdayat 7.45pm. Whether you wish to “tread theboards” or help out backstage, please comealong, you will be guaranteed a warm welcome.Please call Peter or Sally Appleton onTelephone: 02392 551010

Lee Residents AssociationHolds several Open Evenings with guestspeakers a year, three up to date newsletters;joint events with other community groups,planning permission involvement; the Christmassocial event; fund raising activities; liaison withLee Business Association (LBA).and organises aMonthly Table Top Event in Lee, contact theSecretary for more info 02392 551547 or visitthe website www.leeresidents.org.uk

Gosport Access Group and Disability ForumMeeting

This is an informal gathering for people withmixed disabilities, carers and supporters. Wehave one or two speakers each meeting andtime for discussing any access issues of concernin Gosport. Everyone is welcome to come alongfor a cuppa and join in, from 1.45pm for a 2pmstart.Meeting dates for this year are:-6th July (AGM) (11.30-2.30) in CouncilChambers7th September (1.45-4.00) in Council Chambers9th November (1.45-4.00) in Council Chambers

Maria Battley (Secretary)gosportaccessgroup@hotmail.co.uk

Lee Historic Waterfront Walk and TalkWalks and Talks take place on the first Tuesdayof the month from February to October, startingin Elmore Car Park next to the Fishing ClubCompound at 10am. The route is along LeePromenade to the old swimming pool site,returning back to the car park. Total time isaround 90 minutes. Contact Ray Harding on 0239255 1706.

SING for FUNStarts the 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month atSt Faiths church, Lee on Solent 19.30 until 21.00pm . £4. Aimed at young people and adults withlearning difficulties, also all ages and abilitieswelcome. More details contact Phil 02392360120

Charity concert in support of Parkinson’s onSaturday, 22nd June at the Milton Glee Club.

FRENCH MARKETThe French Market will be in Lee on Solent onFriday 24th July from 0900 until late.

Out and about

List your local event for FFREEREE on our Out and About pagesEmail details to editor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk

Love where you live!

Important Phone NumbersCOMMUNITYCommunity Association 023 9255 2841Crofton Secondary School 01329 664251Family & Friends Lesbians & Gays 08456520311Lee on Solent Parish Office 023 9255 6445Lee on Solent Infant School 023 9255 1767Lee on Solent Junior School 023 9255 0551Local Councillor 023 9255 2177Local Council Offices 023 9258 4242Neighbourhood Watch 023 9258 3637Police 101 or emergency 999RSPCA 01329 667541Tourist Information 023 9252 2944Victim Support 0845 3899528

HEALTHAlcoholics Anonymous 0845 7697555Dental Helpline 0845 0508345Gosport War Memorial Hospital 023 92524611Lee on Solent Health Centre 023 9255 0220NHS Direct 111NHS Smoking Helpline 0800 0224332

TRAVELCoastguard 023 8032 9486Dial a Ride Gosport 01329 223151First Bus Service 023 9286 2412Hampshire Highways 0845 8504422IcanGo 07787 292666National Rail Enquiries 08457 484950

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St Faiths’ C ommunity

Some weeks ago I inadvertentlywalked into the Bulson Hall at St.Faith’s without realising that a groupof women were gathered around atable in the middle of a meeting.

Before I could apologise for bargingin on them they all began laughingand asking if I was there to jointhem. They were busy chatting toeach other, eating cakes, drinking teaand knitting. Having heard of a Knitand Natter group at the church, Irealised who they were, explainedthat I was useless at knitting (apartfrom French knitting) but asked if Icould join them sometime with aview to finding out what they did.And a few week’s later I joined them,not so much to knit as to natter andavail myself of the tea and cake.

On arriving at the Lowry room wherethey usually meet on Fridayafternoons, I was immediatelywelcomed and found myself sittingat table between Anne and Lydia,two of the original members, along

with ten other women all franticallyknitting and all, including me,nattering about everything under thesun. Before long I was drinking tea,enjoying a delicious sponge cakeprovided by Anne, listening toeveryone and wondering what onearth I could write about. But by thetime I left, I’d managed to pick upenough information from the generalconversation to gain some idea ofthe group’s history and purpose.

The Knit and Natter group wasformed around ten years ago by JeanCrook who was then a member at St.Faith’s and the first lady in thePortsmouth diocese to train as aReader. Having a friend whobelonged to a knitting group inFarlington, Jean decided that asimilar group should be establishedat St. Faith’s where, as well asmeeting to chat and make newfriends, they could knit for thevarious charities in area. Their mainactivity (apart from nattering) is toknit squares which Lydia, sometimes

helped by others when too manymount up, eventually sews togetherto make warm blankets for whoevermight need them. Among therecipients who currently receivethem are the homeless at the ‘TwoSaints’ hostel in Fareham, the ‘Hopeand Aid’ charity who transport themto Kosovo for use in orphanages orelsewhere and the local Women’sRefuge and Premature Baby Unit atthe Queen Alexandra Hospital inPortsmouth. All of the wool requiredis given to the group by friends andwell-wishers.

From time to time other articlesapart from squares are knitted. Onone occasion an incredibly long stripwas created to wrap around theconning tower of the submarine,HMS Alliance after it had beenrefurbished. Brenda Savage (the onlymember of the group who for somereason is missing from thephotograph) remembers that hercontribution to the strip was knittedin vivid lipstick red! On another

Knit and natter

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occasion George (a regular Cuppaand Company member who camefromWolverhampton) asked forsome woolly hats to be knitted forthe Wolves football supporters.

On taking my leave after athoroughly enjoyable afternoon Iasked if the group would welcomenew members and the resoundingresponse was a loud, enthusiasticYES. There is no need to belong to StFaith’s or any other church. Some ofthe present members arechurchgoers and some are not. Theonly requirement seems to be that,as well as having something to natterabout you should know what to dowith a pair of knitting needles.Everyone in the group is reallywelcoming and more than friendly.So, if you’d like to catch up on the

latest gossip and maybe add to ityourself and if you’d like to escapefor an hour or two on Fridays from 2– 4 pm, please feel free to comealong. The tea is tasty, the cake issuperb and the company, I promise,is second to none.

Alan

Our wonderful St Faiths contributor, Alan Millard can be contacted via St Faith’sChurch, Lee on the Solent.

Parish Office

Mondays - Fridays 10:30am - 12:30pm023 9255 6445

Dates for your diaryCharity Concert in support of Parkinson’s, Saturday June 22nd,7:30. Milton Glee Club

SAVE THE SQUARE CAMPAIGN, Phillip Scott, Co-organiser “Save the Square Campaign”

Matters have now reached the stage where the Diocese of Portsmouth have chosen a developer and it is their intention to pro-ceed with the planned residential development of the vicarage site on Victoria Square .

They have had the legal right to do so since winning an appeal to the Planning Inspectorate in May last year. It was always hopedthat by demonstrating the strength of feeling against the development the diocese could be persuaded to modify their plans.This has not happened and they have remained resolute in their determination to proceed with the development of the vicaragesite as planned, including the sale of the controversial three new houses.

The ‘Save the Square Campaign’ has gained a lot of valuable support and significantly increased local awareness. Perhaps it is thetime, therefore, to thank all those have supported the campaign for their contribution and to assure them that whilst it may nothave achieved the desired result, their support need not be wasted - serious public concern still exists about the future of theremaining open green space in Victoria Square.

Open spaces like that in Victoria Square need to be protected for future generations. To help ensure that the remaining openspace is not sold off for future development, it is hoped we can obtain the security of Village Green Status. In the interest of thecommunity we and the Lee Residents Association have formed a working group to carry this forward. To those who have support-ed us, we hope you will be equally happy to continue supporting this new stage in the campaign. We will be pleased to hear fromyou even if you wish to withhold further support.

To contact us please call /text 07798 941427, email: savethesquare@hotmail.com or facebook.com/SavetheSquare

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P lanning Matters

GOSPORT COUNCIL

15/00238/FULL 16 Chilcomb Close Lee-On-The-Solent

Erection of conservatory to side elevation PendingConsideration

15/00264/FULL 67 Magister Drive Lee-On-The-SolentHampshire PO13 8GE

Erection of single storey rear extension PendingConsideration

15/00274/TPO 2 Britten Road Lee-On-The-Solent HampshirePO13 9JU

Felling of 1 no. Oak tree (t.1 of tpo g.17)(conservation area)

PendingConsideration

A monthly round up of planning applications submittedsince 1 May 2015

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Recently I represented a localbuy to let investor who wishedfor me to source and manage theprocess of not only finding agood investment, but alsonegotiating and ensuring thesmooth handover. It got methinking about the concernsexisting landlords have aboutselling their property with atenant in situ. It doesn’tnecessarily have to be difficultbut unless you take the rightsteps, it can be somewhathazardous. Tenants do haverights and just because you wishto sell the property, it does notgive you the right to disregardyour legal responsibilities. So it isessential that where possible,you keep the tenant on yourside.

I’m not one for the promotion ofevicting tenants unnecessarily, soI’m going to concentrate more onhow to sell to another buy to letlandlord, rather than a ‘vacantpossession’ scenario.

Your right to show potentialpurchasers around the propertyare somewhat limited but notimpossible. As you will no doubtbe aware, this is an essential partof selling a property – if theycan’t see it, they are very unlikelyto buy it!

Firstly, I would strongly advisethat you take a good look at theagreement you have with yourtenant and see if there is a clausethat will allow you access to theproperty, regardless of thereason. If there is such a clause,you must give the tenant 24hours’ notice prior to yourintended visit and having done

so, the tenant must comply withyour request. If there is no suchclause, then the tenant doeshave the right to refuse youaccess. If this happens, then itwould be far better if you cancreate a relationship with thetenant that will permit viewing totake place. If your property ismanaged by an agent then Iwould suggest you communicateyour intentions clearly to them,so that they are in the bestposition to advise the tenanteffectively.

Obviously when a tenant is in afixed term tenancy they have theright to remain in the propertyfor that term, whether you sell itor not. So my advice here wouldbe to discuss with your agent asto the type of buyer you aretrying to attract, as the only realoption is to sell to anotherlandlord. This does work quitewell and going back to the client Idealt with recently, I was able tosource a property that had atenant in situ on a long termcontract. This not only meantthat the tenant was happy with a

new landlord but it also meantthe investor had instant incomefrom day one. On the other hand,if a tenancy is coming to end, thiswould open up options to sell toa residential buyer in readinessfor the tenant moving out andthe new owner moving in.

If your only option is to sell toother investors then you need toensure your asking price fallswithin their target rental yieldfigures, if these don’t stack upthen you’ve lost potential buyersimmediately. Ask your agentwhat buy to let investors arelooking for and ask for theirfeedback on the target rentalyields they are generally lookingfor. The formula is straightforward enough – Monthly rent,times by twelve (months in theyear), divide this by the purchaseprice and then times it by onehundred to give a gross rentalyield.

In house chat

Mark Rowe, MD & Owner of RPS Estate and Letting Agents

SELLING WITH TENANTS INSITU

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Over the Hedge

Spindles is a home with this beautiful garden situated at 24 Wootton Rdbelonging to Mrs Angela and Mr Peter Arnold. They will be opening their

garden on the 21st June from 2-6. Admission £3.00 and homemade teas £2.50

Send in your garden pictures toeditor@bigvoicedirectories.co.uk andyou could be featured next month!

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Hampshire Trading Standards Service is warning the public to be wary of doorstep cold call-ers. Never feel pressured into buying anything on the doorstep.

Phone Scams. Each year many people fall victim to fraudsters - sometimes operating fromoverseas - intent on stealing their personal and financial information. If you receive an unsolicit-ed or unexpected telephone call be on your guard as it may be a scam. Never give personalor financial information out to anyone who cold calls you on the telephone. Be cautious and ifin doubt, hang up. In all cases, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Summer Security Tips

Keep the boundaries to properties secure – by locking side gates

Make sure windows and doors are locked when going out and at night

Ensure front doors and windows are locked when out in the garden as ‘sneak in’ burglariescan increase in the summer months.

Fully lock UPVC doors with a key – don’t just lift the handle

Don’t advertise on social networking sites that you are going on holiday.

Ensure your vehicle is locked at all times. Leaving windows open may keep your vehicle cool-er during the daytime hours but only makes it easier to gain access to your vehicle. Keep allvaluable items in a locked glove compartment or hidden away.

Lock your bike with a good quality lock. When storing your bike in agarage or shed secure it to a ground or wall anchor.

www.gosportnhw.co.ukTel: 023 92583637To contact the Police phone 10or in an emergency 999

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© Tim Stephens

GIG GUIDE

By Nigel Maisey

JuneJuneSaturday 20th Boss Hog The Carisbrooke Gosport

State 6 The Hoeford FarehamSunday 21st Stone Rig The Bird FarehamFriday 26th Rembrant The Bird Fareham

Lou Taylor Red Lion StubbingtonFrank & Dean Show The Carisbrooke Gosport

Saturday 27th Rock of the Pops The Carisbrooke GosportSunday 28th Scarlet Ghosts The Bird Fareham 6pm

JuJulylyFriday 3rd Force Four The Bird Fareham

Stereotypes Red Lion StubbingtonKaraoke The Carisbrooke GosportMove on Up Pier St Café Lee on Solent

Saturday 4th MOD Town The Carisbrooke GosportMafia The Hoeford Fareham

Sunday 5th Lewis Creaven The Bird Fareham 6pmFriday 10th Higher Ground The Bird Fareham

Somethin Else The Carisbrooke GosportRock of the Pops Pier St Café Lee on Solent

Saturday 11th Paloma Faith Tribute The Carisbrooke GosportSunday 12th Worried Men The Bird Fareham 6pmFriday 17th Monkey Butlars The Bird Fareham

Fine Southern Gents Red Lion StubbingtonSorted The Carisbrooke GosportHazzard County Pier St Café Lee on Solent

Saturday 18th Knee Slider The Carisbrooke GosportSunday 19th Midnight Sun The Bird FarehamFriday 24th Bone Idle The Bird Fareham

Small Town Red Lion StubbingtonSaturday 25th Rock of the Pops The Hoeford FarehamSunday 26th Hazzard County The Bird Fareham 6pmFriday 31st D’ska Assasins The Bird Fareham

Groove Monster Red Lion Stubbington

All gigs should start at 9pm unless stated

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23 - 26 October 2015

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171 - 173 High StreetLee-on-the-Solent

PO13 9BX

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Anger shows its face up in manydifferent scenarios particularly inrelationships. We get triggered intoanger by many different things butarguments can often flare up when infact all it is, is a difference of opinion.

We are never all going to see theworld in the same way – and thankgoodness because it would be veryboring if we did. We all see the worldthrough different glasses. Forexample a Greenpeace activist willlook at what is done in the Amazonthrough their environmentalistmindset of it being a tragedy whereasa multi-national corporation will haveother priorities. Both would arguetheir point of view till the cows comehome and neither will ever concedeto the other’s opinion. This is just anexample of the diversity of the worldand they will always exist. We mightnot like them but each is entitled totheir opinion.

Trouble is that when you take thosediffering of opinions intorelationships it often ends up beingturned into a personal argumentrather than seeing that it is just aconversation about two differentviewpoints. It is all too easy to getinto the place where you fight yourground and try to make the otherperson wrong, feeling the need to bethe one who is right.

Without forethought it is virtuallyimpossible in that adversarialmoment to step back and agree todiffer. Once we are in the feeling ofwanting to prove our point, to beright how can we step back?

One simple technique is to agree aphrase that brings both of you out ofthe illusion of needing to be right. Itcan wake you up and help you seethat this topic is not worth creating ahuge personal argument about it –that your relationship is actuallyworth more than this topic. The trickis to agree it beforehand.

So in what I call a sober moment –when you are feeling very happy witheach other and have no axe to grind –have a chat about wanting to pre-empt the arguments you have over adiffering of opinion.The reason you talkabout it away fromthe argument isthat you can bothset an intention touse this method.

You agree a wakeup phrase,something either ofyou can say in themoment that wakesyou up from thecompulsion to winyour case and helpsyou see that it isonly a differing ofopinion. It can beany phrase – eitherrelated to thesituation or not.For example, youcould say – “Heythis is one of thosemoment where wecan agree todisagree”.

Or if you feel that would not stop theflow of thoughts so easily you can usea silly phrase – mine is “the peas aregreen this summer” feel free toborrow it if it helps.

The key is that this is an agreementbetween you, set an intention thatwhen one of you uses the phrase it istime to agree to disagree and then –and this is so important - change thesubject!

Differences of Opinion

Jessica offers Life Guidance, connecting back to your spirit, the true heart ofyou. If you want to know more you can visit her website:www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com

Remarkable Relationships

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PPuuzzzlezle AnsweAnswersrsJuly 2015

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OoohOooh La La!La La!The French Market will be in Lee on Solent on Friday 24th July from 09:00 until late.

The market is run by France at Home - www.franceathome.com.

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8:30pm start

JOIN US FORBINGOBooks on sale 6:45pmEyes down 7:30pm

Southern Ostomy Group are holdingmeetings every last Monday of themonth at the Kingfisher. Call in for a

chat, advice and support.

Contact us on 0775 6819291 orSouthernostomygroup@hotmail.co.uk

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