Following your heart at times of change

An E- course to help you connect to your purpose, live your values and find the courage to make the best choices for you in your life.

By Danielle Marchant

Big Leap

Enabling Evolution

Which path do you take? What is the right course of action for you, for your family, for your career, for your security?

All these questions and more can lead to confusion, panic and fear, making it even more difficult to know what to do. In the face of this fear you either freeze and do nothing or make your decisions blindly hoping for the best.

Having made four of my own big leaps in the past ten years and coached many people through theirs, I have seen another way. A way that connects you to who you are in the light of the change you face. A way that allows you to be true to yourself in the midst of the confusion and challenge, enabling you to make choices that are right for you.

Blending personal insight with the experiences of my clients, I have written this powerful E- course to help you with your change. Do not be deceived, whilst it may look simple this process often creates unexpected outcomes!

Are you ready for something more in your life?

Love, Danielle x

Life is ever changing, and standing at a crossroads can be a simultaneously daunting and exciting experience.

I coach people facing big change in their lives. Change such as redundancy, relocation, repatriation. BIG life altering change. Change that keeps you awake at night, change that somewhere deep inside you know you want to make. Change that you are struggling to find the courage needed to take those all important first steps.

Over the years I have experienced myself and seen in my clients the desire to control external circumstances whilst facing a challenging crossroads. Writing business plans, calculating finances, leaving jobs, wildly applying for jobs – any job! All are attempts at controlling the external environment. What I have learnt is that by focusing on the external world the inner world is forgotten. Who are you? What are your passions? What talents do you have? What really makes you happy? By slowing down and shifting the focus from external to internal, you have a far greater chance of creating satisfying change that feels aligned to who you are and what you want from your life.

This E-course is designed to help you make the shift from your external world to your internal world. It is meant to be read in sequence, answering each question deeply before moving onto the next. This is not the time to skip a question, rush to the end or answer superficially. Take your time, relax into the process, give yourself space and time to reflect between questions, and sometimes, if you dare, maybe even do nothing...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointedby the things that you didn’t do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover. ”

~ Mark Twain ~

There are ten questions that are crucial to ask when facing a challenging crossroads.

1. What really works in your life today?

2. What do you want?

3. What makes you who you are?

4. What is your purpose and bigger vision for yourself?

5. What does this mean for you and the change you are facing?

6. What are your options and choices?

7. What are you scared of?

8. Who do you know who can help?

9. What are the first small steps you want to take?

10. How do you want to celebrate?

You will see that the question of acting comes at the end, not at the beginning! You are programmed to “do”, to make things happen and to get things done. Whilst that has a place, your desire to “do” in the face of big change is often driven by fear. Given this is likely to already be quite a scary time, it doesn’t help to fuel your fear! In fact slowing down, taking your time and doing less, not more, at the beginning will ease your journey of change tremendously. Remember sometimes the wisest thing to do is to do nothing...

Ten questions to ask when

facing a challenging crossroads

1. What really works in your life today?

The first question to consider when facing a big change is “what is really working in your life?”.

It is easy in the face of the turmoil of impending change to forget that there is much that actually works in your life. You may have a strong family unit, hobbies that you love, a home that you feel safe in, friends who bring fun and enjoyment to your life.

For the next few days look at your life with fresh eyes – what is really working that matters to you?

You may want to start a small journal to capture your answers to this and other questions over the coming weeks.

The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath

one’s feet.

~ Laozi ~ Tao Te Ching

2. What do you want?

As a child you dreamt and imagined your future in glorious Technicolor.

Yet as an adult it is easy to lose your connection to the dreamer inside and get caught in the responsibilities of the “real world”.

Well it is time to dream again! What do you want in life? Not the new car, bigger house, eternal happiness dream, but the deeper passion inside you. Are you a writer, a dancer, a photographer, a designer?

What do you want in your life? What are the secret dreams you have yet to share?

Find some images that capture this for you. You might want to put them in your journal, create a screensaver or a pin-it board. If you feel really creative you might want to paint a picture, or design a beautiful vision board full of your secret dreams. Choose pictures that really make you smile every time you see them!

“All our dreams can come true, if we

have the courage to pursue them.”

~ Walt Disney ~

3. What makes you who you are?

Knowing what you want, coupled with who you are, makes a powerful combination when facing change!

Without connecting to who you are, it is easy to be manipulated into situations that are not right for you, by other people who want to get their needs met.

There are many layers to you. At your core sit your values, invisible guiding principles that show up in your behaviour. Values such as love, honesty, service, freedom, loyalty, fairness, respect, belonging, honour, integrity and more. Values that when crossed by another person, government or organisation can leave you experiencing an injustice.

You are also made up of your qualities; kindness, generosity, assertiveness, creativity, humour, caring, openness, tenacity, courage and more. Take a moment to reflect on your values and qualities. How would your best friend or closest family member describe you? You could even ask them if you are feeling brave!

Finally, add your talents and skills to this description of yourself – now is not the time to hold back! What are the unique gifts you bring to the world? Can you sing? Do you draw? Do you have an eye for colour? Are you brilliant with numbers? Can you turn complex problems into simple solutions? Are you a distance runner? Perhaps you connect naturally and easily with people.

What makes you you?

“We ask ourselves,who am I to be

brilliant, gorgeous, talented and

fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?”

~ Marianne Williamson ~

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny,

inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. ”

~ Golda Meir ~

4. What is your purpose and bigger vision for yourself?

Having reconnected to who you are and what you want, it’s time to think big!

Imagine that you have reached the end of your life (a long way off for you I hope!) As you see yourself looking back on your life, what gave you the most fulfillment? What brought you the most joy? What were you doing that made you feel truly alive? Knowing what you know now, what do you wish you had been brave enough to do? You can even write this as a letter to yourself if you wish.

Now, placing yourself back in the present day, ask yourself lightly “why am I here?” If you are writing, just let the words flow. If you are using pictures then over the next few days allow yourself to be drawn to images, even if they don’t make much sense to you. If you are thinking then don’t push the thoughts too hard, rather let them percolate like fresh coffee in a pot. You never know what thoughts might pop into your head when you are in the shower or even at night whilst you are sleeping.

5. What does this mean for you and the change that you are facing?

Uncovering your purpose and bigger vision may take time. Do not worry, just be patient and let it unfold.

Sometimes the clues will come from unexpected sources. Be vigilant, open and receptive to what you hear, feel, see and experience.

You are at a stage now where you can begin to connect who you are with what you do. Well done for taking your time to explore, and flow with the journey. You may naturally now have more clarity about the crossroads that you are facing, and a stronger sense of what is right for you. If not there is no need to worry, you have not finished yet!

Today it is time to reflect on your journey so far. What have you learnt about yourself? How do you feel about the change you are facing? What questions, concerns and challenges do you see now?

“Choose a job you love and you will

never have to work a day in your life”

~ Confucius ~

“Not all those who wander are lost.”

~ J.R.R. Tolkien ~The Fellowship of the Ring

6. What are your options and choices?

If you are not sure where you are going, it is easy to believe that you are directionless, lost.

This of course is just the mind playing tricks on you, trying to keep you from taking any moves it deems too risky.

To help with this, it is useful to create a mind map of your choices and options. You can do this by hand - I like to use big paper and coloured pens! You can use an online mind mapping programme such as i-Map, or capture each idea on a post -it note and stick it on your wall – whatever works for you.

The aim is to not hold back at this stage. Capture all of the options, possibilities, chances, changes, choices that you see are available to you right now. It does not mean that you are going to action them all. For now you are free flowing, brainstorming and being creative.

Have fun!

7. What are you scared of?

It is natural when faced with big change to feel scared. Change can be overwhelming as much as it can also be fun!

In my experience of coaching many people over the years the fear stems from a lively mind chattering away in the background. You might hear it say things like: “it’s too late to change”, “you are too old for this”, “you can’t afford to take these risks”, “you won’t fit in somewhere new”, “you don’t know enough to run your own business”, “you will fail”. Notice how in the fear state the mind is hardly supportive and encouraging!

I want you to treat yourself like your best friend today. Every time you hear that mind chatter I want you to tell the truth to yourself. The question to ask yourself is “what is really true about this?”

It takes courage to respond to your mind chatter honestly so be gentle and make sure that you take a deep breath, finishing with an acknowledgement every time you manage to do it.

See what difference this makes for you in one day. If it helps I would encourage you to keep practicing this exercise throughout your change and beyond.

“It is only when we have the courage to face things

exactly as they are, without any self deception or

illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which

the path to success may be recognised.”

~ I Ching ~

8. Who do you know who can help?

Now you have a map of your choices and options and an awareness of how to manage your mind chatter, it is time to explore who you know that can help you.

It is easy to believe that you have to face your change by yourself (more mind chatter!) and yet in my own experience of making Big Leaps if you ask there is plenty of amazing help on hand.

I want you to go back to your mind map and for the initial options that you want to explore think of three people in your community, professional network, friends or family who might be able to help you. In these days of social networking you are far more connected than you realise so if your mind chatter is saying “there isn’t anyone”, I want you to look again!

Once you have your names, reach out to those people in a way that feels right for you. It might be a coffee, a phone call, an email, an invitation to dinner. Connect, be curious, ask your questions and in turn be willing to reciprocate if the other person needs something in return.

“You may never know what results come from your

action. But if you do nothing, there will be

no result.”~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

9. What are the first small steps you want to take?

When facing big change it is easy to attempt to look at what lies ahead in its entirety.

Of course this is really an illusion as it is not possible for you to predict the future. All you can do is set your compass in the direction of travel and take the small steps needed for you to reach your end destination.

You also need to be prepared to alter your course and sometimes even your final destination as details and new information emerge. Staying true to who you are and your purpose will steady you if you encounter choppy waters along the way.

You may of course want to have an overall plan; as one teacher said to me once “that is fine as long as you hold it lightly.” At this stage the questions to ask yourself are: “what is my focus” and “what is the first step I want to take”.

Once you have achieved your first step you can then repeat the process, being willing to alter your path as needed.

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.You must travel it by yourself. It is not far

– it is within reach.Perhaps you have been on

it since you were born, and did not know.”

~ Walt Whitman ~ Leaves of Grass

10. How do you want to celebrate?

Look how far you have come! Wherever you are on your journey, today is a cause for celebration.

How far have you come? What have you learned about yourself? What are you most proud of? What fear did you face? What obstacle did you overcome?

Choose how you want to celebrate in a way that feels right for you. You may want a massage, a game of tennis, a luxurious bubble bath. You may buy yourself flowers, have a drink with your friends or cook a special meal. You might enjoy going to watch a movie, booking a ticket to a sporting event or maybe just giving yourself a whole evening off, just to do nothing...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointedby the things that you didn’t do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover. ”

~ Mark Twain ~

Enabling Evolution

Do what you love, love what you do!Danielle is a coach, consultant and facilitator who has worked with people for nearly twenty years. Her own Big Leaps have seen her leave the (dis) comfort of the corporate world, explore far flung places by land air and sea, and live and run businesses in Asia. She can often be seen facing challenging situations with courage and a smile!

Danielle has coached many individuals through their own Big Leaps often with unexpected results. As well as coaching, Danielle runs highly experiential and creative Big Leap workshops. These events help people who are confused and stressed about change, find a clear way through by looking at themselves rather than the change they are facing. Danielle supports people to move through change by helping them connect to their purpose, values and vision.

Her mission is to help you...

“do what you love and love what you do!”

Connect with Danielle• www.enablingevolution.com• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCh4iATGa_6sfdvsD9EUpi- -A• Facebook: facebook.com/EnablingEvoluNon• Twitter: @EnablingEv• LinkedIn: hUp://sg.linkedin.com/pub/danielle- -marchant/ 13/4aa/91b

Thank you