Beware the disaster capitalists

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Ugg off Out of fashion

Jungle feverNadine Dorries down under

Hadley FreemanLady Di, Savile and Brooks

Miaow!Meet the cat surgeons

The Killing IIISarah Lund’s back

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Beware the disaster capitalists

How America can rebuild a fairer society By Naomi Klein

2 The Guardian 07.11.12

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Shortcuts

How great is The Hour’s

Romola Garai? In the Radio

Times, she not only took

aim at Hollywood’s weight

obsession but described

herself as a “bra-burning,

building-burning feminist”.

Video mash-up merchants

Cassetteboy have returned with

their take on the US election

debates. It contains Obama

saying: “If you’ll vote for me,

I will fi st Donald Trump.” Watch

the clip at bit.ly/YvsCzp.

Cut and thrustWomen’s Hour

What will Dorries debate in the jungle?

Entertainment

A h, Nadine Dorries. In her ongoing bid to add to the gaiety of nations, it has

been announced that the MP for-merly known as Nadine Bargery is out in the Australian jungle, ready to compete on I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here . She decided to go because 16 million people watch the show , she says, and is looking forward to “lively, heated debates” about the abortion time limit around the campfi re. But what other treats can fellow contestants – who include boxer David Haye, EastEnders star Charlie Brooks, comedian Brian Conley and former Doctor Who Colin Baker – expect from the tempestuous MP over their witch-etty grubs? And will learning about Nadine’s past and passions send another prospective con-testant, the inimitable Grace Jones, running for Sydney’s Blue Mountains?

MPs’ expenses At the height of the scandal in 2009, as the Daily Telegraph’s revelations rolled out day after day, Dorries told the Today programme the newspaper was executing “almost a McCarthyite witch-hunt” ; she had already sug-gested on her blog that “everyone fears a suicide”. That blog gave the impression she spent most of her time in her Bedfordshire constituency – although she had designated this her secondary residence, which enabled her to claim expenses. She explained this to the parliamentary standards commissioner, who later cleared her of wrongdoing, by stating her blog “is 70% fi ction and 30% fact . It is written as a tool to enable my constituents to know me better and to reassure them of my com-

mitment to Mid Bedfordshire. I rely heavily on poetic licence and frequently replace one place name/event/fact with another.” Later, she said this was a throw-away comment, and “the fi gure should have been the other way around” . 30% factual? 70% fi c-tion? Keep a close eye, viewers!

Christianity Nadine has said she’s “ not an MP for any reason other than because God wants me to be ... I am just a conduit for God to use.” She has also said she constantly tries “to do what Jesus would do”, which conjures up the unlikely image of Christ in an alligator tank compet-ing against Linda Robson from Birds of a Feather, while Ant and Dec cheer them on.

Abstinence Despite evidence that US states that stress abstinence education have some of the highest levels of teenage pregnancy, Nadine last year called for this to be a key part of the British sex education curriculum , aimed particularly at girls. She justifi ed this with much talk of how young kids are being shown to “apply” a condom to a banana . The bill was opposed by Labour MP Chris Bryant who called it “the daftest piece of legislation I have seen”, impressively avoiding the quip, “absolutely bananas”.

Gay marriage On the Conservative Home web-site earlier this year Nadine wrote

that “gay marriage is a policy which has been pursued by the metro elite gay activists and needs to be put into the same bin. I have yet to meet a gay couple in my constituency or beyond who support it; in fact, the reaction has been quite the opposite. Great Britain and its gay couples don’t live on Canal Street in Manches-ter, shop in The Lanes in Brighton or socialise at [sic] Gaydar in Lon-don.” Except for all those who do, of course. She went on to say the policy “is divisive, unpopular with the public” – while a YouGov poll published this year found 71% of people support it.

Elitism In an act of jaw-dropping politi-cal harakiri, Nadine took to the BBC’s Daily Politics earlier this year to say: “Not only are Cam-eron and Osborne two posh boys who don’t know the price of milk, but they are two arrogant posh boys who show no remorse, no contrition, and no passion to understand the lives of others – and that is their real crime.” On The Andrew Marr Show, Osborne replied that: “Nadine Dorries, for the last seven years, I don’t think has agreed with anything either myself, David Cameron, or indeed most Conservatives in the leader-ship of the party have done.” For once, few people could disagree with either MP.

Abortion She has already said she

wants to talk about her sup-port for a 20-week abortion time limit while she’s in the jungle – but will she

talk about the 13-week limit she favoured

when I spoke to her about the issue in 2008 ? Or the nine-

week limit that someone calling themselves Nadine

Dorries opted for while com-menting on the Spectator web-

site ? When it comes to Nadine, you just never know ... Kira Cochrane

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Nadine Dorries says she is going on reality TV to debate the issues

07.11.12 The Guardian 3

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Age: 72.Appearance: Part-time Albert Finney lookalike.What does he do for a day job? He’s the president of Kazakhstan.As in Borat’s country? That’s the one.It’s an actual place? It is indeed.I thought Sacha Baron Cohen made it up. Afraid not. He just picked a real country and caricatured it as corrupt and very silly.So what’s the real Kazakhstan like? Corrupt and very silly. Nursultan Nazarbayev has won two decades of widely criticised elections with around a 95% share of the vote, and even changed the law to personally exempt himself from term limits. Which may go some way to explaining why right now he is doing his best to emphasise the country’s silliness.What’s he done? He has instructed Kazakh scientists to go in search of the elixir of life, and, after two years and a few million quid of research, they have invented yoghurt.Hold on. He instructed them to what? To investigate “anti-ageing medicine, natural rejuvenation, immortality”.How did this all start? Two years ago a member of the Kazakh parliament suggested Nazarbayev stay on as president until “at least” 2020. To which he responded: “I’m willing to go on to 2020. Just fi nd me the elixir.”As a joke, surely? Maybe at fi rst. But he then asked Kazakh scientists to look into “the study of the prolongation of life” on three separate occasions that year, even telling them: “People of my age are really hoping all of this will happen as soon as possible.”So they brought him a yoghurt? Well, they had to bring him something. Zhaqsybai Zhumalidov, chair of the Life Sciences committee, announced their fi ndings last week: “We have created a bio-product called Nar. It will be able to improve the quality of life and prolong it.”And Nar is a yoghurt? Yep. It’s also the Kazakh word for “food”. In his defence, Zhumalidov admitted there was “still work to be done”.Do say: “Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”Don’t say: “Your works look a lot like Onken.”

Philip Schofi eld fans are in

uproar after he tweeted a

picture of himself eating

a guinea pig in Peru. They

are apparently delicious

deep-fried and served

with chilli sauce.

DJ Nick Grimshaw has called Robbie

Williams “not relevant” to his

breakfast-show audience. Perhaps he

has a point. Robbie peeled his skin off

for Rock DJ – these days the best he

can do for shock value is punching a

pensioner in his video for Candy.

I t may be an object of deri-sion throughout the fashion industry, but the Ugg boot

has refused to die. Over the past 10 years, sales continued to rise, and their squat, solid, shearling-lined shapes became the footwear of young Britons nationwide.

Until now. The newest sales fi gures from Deckers, Ugg ’s parent group, are down 31% . While this has been put down to mild weather and rising prices, it’s a minor victory for fashion.

Uggs are undeniably comfort-able – they’re more often worn as slippers in their native Australia – but the ubiquity of them, and their many imitations, has led to overkill. In a survey in 2010, they were voted one of the 10 items men don’t like on women and a judge recently ruled

The Ugg boot is dead – fashion world rejoices

Style

in

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The Shard is no

longer the tallest

building in Europe,

having been usurped

by Moscow’s newest

skyscraper, the pink-

hued Mercury City

Tower. Here’s how

they measure up.

310mThe Shard

339mMercury City Tower

Pass notesNo 3,277President Nazarbayev

A new survey contains the

surprising fi nding that 16% of

people have never sent an email:

could it be because those people

were users of antediluvian

search engine Ask Jeeves, which

conducted the research?

Pet food Technophobes ahoy Take that!

IN NUMBERS

Cast away your Uggs – their

moment has passed

they can be dangerous to wear while driving .

They fi rst gained fashion-ability in 2001 when they were worn by celebrities including Cameron Diaz , but recent advo-cates include Joey Essex : hardly an advert for a chic look. Rana Reeves, founder of brand agency John Doe, believes this has damaged the reputation of the brand. “I’d say they’re in a similar position to when Daniella West-brook wore Burberry,” he says.

Recently , t he fi rm has expanded into high-heeled styles with price points over £300, handbags, and even a bridal col-lection. It might be a case of one spongy step too far. “Ugg’s core product is seasonal ,” says Honor Westnedge, senior retail analyst at Verdict Research. “While it has tried to diversify into new ranges, these have struggled to achieve the same level of popularity as its winter boot collections.”

Westnedge points to the relatively high price of Uggs as a problem , and suggests that con-sumers are unlikely to buy more than one pair. There’s also the issue that they may simply be out of vogue. New competitors in the boot market include Hunter, Le Chameau (the brand favoured by the Duchess of Cambridge ) and, recently, Converse. Fashion has long rejected Uggs – it looks like the rest of the populace is fi nally following its lead. Lauren Cochrane

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1. Crap gloves Uggs are only

unfashionable on your feet. Stroll

around with them on your hands and

people won’t know what to think.

2. Insulation Got an uninsulated pipe

about the size of your shin ? Whack an

Ugg on it. Problem solved.

3. Weasel beds Most weasels fi nd

their beds cold and uncomfortable.

Let’s do something for them, guys.

4. Fashionista repellent A single

scrap of Ugg boot worn on a lanyard

around the neck will keep away

all but the most foolhardy fashion

snobs. Win.

5. Safer throwing boots Tired of

accidentally braining a six-year-old

when you hurl your Wellingtons

across the park? Softer equals safer.

Tom Meltzer

Five uses for an old Ugg


So I don’t know if you’ve heard but apparently there has been some kind of election going on somewhere in the world. People voting on a prime minister or a prince or a president or something

like that? I work in a newspaper offi ce, so I’m pretty in-the-know about world events.

T he backwards state of our current technology prevents me from sharing my election thoughts with you here today but, rest assured, they are very deep and intellectual. In any event, there is a high chance you are a bit sick of this election thing already. Heck, I’m sick of it and I’m American. Lord knows how the Brits will feel tomorrow with all of their newspapers and news channels given over to 24-hour coverage of the thing.

But despite the impression given by the media, there are plenty of other things you can talk about today. Important things! Pressing things! Things such as the following:

Jimmy Savile, marriage counsellor When I moved to Britain from the US in 1990, I felt pretty much right at home straight away . However, I knew there were some things about Britain that I would never, ever understand. Last of the Summer Wine, for a start. Tommy Cooper. Les Dawson. Bros. And most of all, Jimmy Savile. The man was clearly creepy – or, to use the British term, “eccentric” – and yet that was part of his appeal. This was apparently the point of him and generally acknowledged. So even back in 1990 when the extent of his creepiness was not known, no one – no one – would go to this tracksuited 64-year-old who lived with his mum to ask for marital guidance. No one, that is, except for Prince Charles.

According to the memorably named Dickie Arbiter, former press secretary to the Queen, in 1990 Prince Charles asked Savile to please help him fi x his marriage. “It didn’t work,” Arbiter clarifi ed.

Now, it has long been obvious that Prince Charles has the mental age of about 14 because only a particularly stupid 14-year-old boy would tell a woman that he would like to be reincarnated as her tampon, as most adult men are aware of what tampons actually do and only vampires could get turned on by that. But, in using Savile as a marriage counsellor, Charlie truly excelled himself and reminded the world at large that his ignorance about women does not end at a physical level (Diana, according to her former protection offi cer, Ken Wharfe, “was not a great fan of Savile’s”). Did he look at his boo-hoo bwoken mawwiage and want Jim to Fix It? Did he think he would get an ickle-wickle badge? My God – and we’re supposed to bow to this man?

Hadley Freeman

Did David Cameron compare Rebekah Brooks to a horse? Allegedly so , yes. The fi st gnawingly embarrassing texts between Cameron and Brooks, with the latest being Cameron referring to the “fast and unpredict-able ride” Charlie Brooks’s horse gave him, are bad enough. But it’s the comment that Cameron allegedly said to his old Etonian chum when the latter started dating the then Rebekah Wade that is just straight out sphincter-shrinking.

“Better not mess this one up, Charlie,” the Mail on Sunday claims Cameron said to C Brooks. “It’s the most important ride of your life.” Because women are animals, you see, whom you ride. In bed. You see? You see?! Insert joke here about posh people preferring animals to women and children, stick head in the Cuisinart.

How many fi lms does Skyfall “pay homage to”? [SPOILER ALERT, although seeing as you’ve no doubt seen the fi lms Skyfall rips off , it’s probably already spoilt]Loads. Home Alone, defi nitely. The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, arguably. The whole Harry Potter series. And maybe it’s just me but that bit in Skyfall when [spoiler, spoiler etc etc] a certain key character dies at the end reminded me quite a lot of when Bambi’s mother gets shot. Cried more over Bambi, obvs.

That hideous article in the Sunday Times about Judaism This is possibly not a national talking point, but, damn it, it should be. According to a certain article in a Sunday Times supplement magazine last weekend, “British Jewishness has suddenly become a hip cultural talking point.” Oh thank you, Sunday Times, for the validation!

“Put it down to a search for exoticism,” the magazine suggested. Ah yes – “exoticism”. We Jews really are so very Other, what with spooky voodoo ways and our foreign accents. “[Or] maybe it’s the attraction of the monetary rewards con-nected with being Jewish, but today’s celebrities are less shy about talking about their roots.” You whatty the what? Hey, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen

and Philip Roth – when was it that prominent Jews last hid their faith? 1945, perhaps? And as for “the monetary rewards connected with being Jewish”, I cannot deny it, we Jews do hoard our shekels. We gaze upon them adoringly while we rub our hands with Shylockian glee.

“‘There’s not as much stigma attached to being Jewish as there used to be,’” some talking head added, apparently just having woken up from a nap that began in 1937. Sadly, I couldn’t read the rest of the article

as my giant hooked nose blocked my view, but I think we all get the picture.

I’m sure there’s been an election going on somewhere, but if you’re sick of it, there are loads of other things to talk about

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Diana, Princess

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of Jimmy Savile –

unlike her husband


The destruction caused by Sandy off ers a real chance to rebuild a fairer society. But, warns Naomi Klein, big corporations

will try to seize the upper hand. Don’t stand by and let them!

Real estate agents

are predicting that

back-up generators

will be the new

status symbols

Less than three days after Sandy made landfall on the east coast of the United States, Iain Murray of the Competitive Enterprise

Institute blamed New Yorkers’ resist-ance to Big Box stores for the misery they were about to endure. Writing on Forbes.com, he explained that the city’s refusal to embrace Walmart will likely make the recovery much harder: “Mom-and-pop stores simply can’t do what big stores can in these circum-stances,” he wrote. He also warned that if the pace of reconstruction turned out to be sluggish (as it so often is) then “pro-union rules such as the Davis- Bacon Act” would be to blame, a reference to the statute that requires workers on public works projects to be paid not the minimum wage, but the prevailing wage in the region.

The same day, Frank Rapoport, a lawyer representing several billion-dollar construction and real estate contractors, jumped in to suggest that many of those public works projects shouldn’t be public at all. Instead, cash-strapped governments should turn to public private partnerships, known as “P3s” in the US. That means roads, bridges and tunnels being re-built by private companies, which, for instance, could install tolls and keep the profi ts. These deals aren’t legal in New York or New Jersey, but Rapoport

believes that can change. “There were some bridges that were washed out in New Jersey that need structural replacement, and it’s going to be very expensive,” he told the Nation. “And so the government may well not have the money to build it the right way. And that’s when you turn to a P3.”

The prize for shameless disaster capitalism, however, surely goes to rightwing economist Russell S Sobel, writing in a New York Times online forum. Sobel suggested that, in hard-hit areas, Federal Emergency Manage-ment Agency (Fema) should create “free-trade zones – in which all normal regulations, licensing and taxes [are] suspended”. This corporate free-for-all would, apparently, “better provide the goods and services victims need”.

Yes, that’s right: this catastrophe, very likely created by climate change – a crisis born of the colossal regulatory failure to prevent corporations from

treating the atmosphere as their open sewer – is just one more opportunity for further deregulation. And the fact that this storm has demonstrated that poor and working-class people are far more vulnerable to the climate crisis shows that this is clearly the right moment to strip those people of what few labour protections they have left, as well as to privatise the meagre public services available to them. Most of all, when faced with an extraordinarily costly crisis born of corporate greed, hand out tax holidays to corporations.

The fl urry of attempts to use Sandy’s destructive power as a cash grab is just the latest chapter in the very long story I have called the The Shock Doctrine. And it is but the tiniest glimpse into the ways large corporations are seeking to reap enormous profi ts from climate chaos.

One example: between 2008 and 2010, at least 261 patents were fi led or issued relating to “climate-ready” crops – seeds supposedly able to withstand extreme conditions such as droughts and fl oods; of these pat-ents close to 80 % were controlled by just six agribusiness giants, includ-ing Monsanto and Syngenta. With history as our teacher, we know that small farmers will go into debt trying to buy these new miracle seeds, and that many will lose their land.

In November 2010, the Economist ran a climate change cover story that

After the storm


Destruction caused by Hurricane Sandy in Breezy Point, New York

provides a useful (if harrowing) blue-print for how climate change could serve as the pretext for the last great land grab, a fi nal colonial clearing of the forests, farms and coastlines by a handful of multinationals. The editors explain that droughts and heat stress are such a threat to farmers that only big players can survive the turmoil, and that “abandoning the farm may be the way many farmers choose to adapt”. They had the same message for fi sherfolk occupying valuable ocean-front lands: wouldn’t it be so much safer, given rising seas and all, if they joined their fellow farmers in the urban slums? “Protecting a single port city from fl oods is easier than protecting a similar population spread out along a coastline of fi shing villages.”

But, you might wonder, isn’t there a joblessness problem in most of these cities? Nothing a little “reform of labour markets” and free trade can’t fi x. Be-sides, cities, they explain, have “social strategies, formal or informal”. I’m pretty sure that means people whose “social strategies” used to involve growing and catching their own food can now cling to life by selling broken pens at intersections, or perhaps by dealing drugs. What the informal social strategy should be when superstorm winds howl through those precarious slums remains unspoken.

For a long time, climate change was treated by environmentalists as a great equali ser, the one issue that aff ected everyone, rich or poor. They failed to account for the myriad ways by which the super rich would protect them-selves from the less savory eff ects of the economic model that made them so wealthy. In the past six years, we have seen in the US the emergence of private fi re fi ghters, hired by insurance companies to off er a “concierge” serv-ice to their wealthier clients, as well as the short-lived “HelpJet” – a charter airline in Florida that off ered fi ve-star evacuation services from hurricane zones. Now, post-Sandy, up market real estate agents are predicting that back-up power generators will be the new status symbol with the penthouse and mansion set.

For some, it seems, climate change is imagined less as a clear and present danger than as a kind of spa vacation; nothing that the right combination of bespoke services and well-curated accessories can’t overcome. That, at least, was the impression left by the Barneys New York’s pre-Sandy sale – which off ered deals on sencha green

cial safety nets across the industriali sed world, so climate change can be a his-toric occasion to usher in the next great wave of progressive change. Moreover, none of the anti-democratic trickery I described in The Shock Doctrine is necessary to advance this agenda. Far from seizing on the climate crisis to push through unpopular policies, our task is to seize upon it to demand a truly populist agenda.

The reconstruction from Sandy is a great place to start road testing these ideas. Unlike the disaster capitalists who use crisis to end-run democracy, a People’s Recovery (as many from the Occupy movement are already demand-ing) would call for new democratic processes, including neighbourhood assemblies, to decide how hard-hit communities should be rebuilt. The overriding principle must be addressing the twin crises of inequality and climate change at the same time. For starters, that means reconstruction that doesn’t just create jobs but jobs that pay a living wage. It means not just more public transit, but energy- effi cient, aff ordable housing along those transit lines. It also means not just more renewable power, but democratic community control over those projects.

But at the same time as we ramp up alternatives, we need to step up the fi ght against the forces actively making the climate crisis worse. That means standing fi rm against the continued expansion of the fossil fuel sector into new and high-risk territories, whether through tar sands, fracking, coal exports to China or Arctic drilling. It also means recognising the limits of political pressure and going after the fossil fuel companies directly, as we are doing at 350.org with our “Do The Math” tour. These companies have shown that they are willing to burn fi ve times as much carbon as the most conservative estimates say is compatible with a liveable planet. We’ve done the maths, and we simply can’t let them.

Either this crisis will become an opportunity for an evolutionary leap, a holistic readjustment of our relationship with the natural world. Or it will become an opportunity for the biggest disaster capitalism free-for-all in human history, leaving the world even more brutally cleaved between winners and losers.

When I wrote The Shock Doctrine , I was documenting crimes of the past. The good news is that this is a crime in progress; it is still within our power to stop it. Let’s make sure that, this time, the good guys win.

tea, backgammon sets and $500 throw blankets so its high-end customers could “settle in with style”.

So we know how the shock doctors are readying to exploit the climate crisis, and we know from the past how that story ends. But here is the real question: could this crisis present a diff erent kind of opportunity, one that disperses power into the hands of the many rather than consolidating it the hands of the few; one that radi-cally expands the commons, rather than auctions it off in pieces? In short, could Sandy be the beginning of A People’s Shock?

I think it can. As I outlined last year , there are changes we can make that actually have a chance of getting our emissions down to the level science demands. These include re-locali sing our economies (so we are going to need those farmers where they are); vastly expanding and reimagining the public sphere to not just hold back the next storm but to prevent even worse disruptions in the future; regulating the hell out of corporations and reducing their poisonous politi-cal power; and reinventing economics so it no longer defi nes success as the endless expansion of consumption.

Just as the Great Depression and the second world war launched movements that claimed as their proud legacies so-P

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If he could see himself now, Harry would be horrifi ed. Slack-mouthed, out for the count, he has got drips going into him, tubes coming out of him, wires

and sensors everywhere you look. And now the fi nal indignity: someone is tak-ing the clippers to that rich golden fur.

“Poor thing,” says a nurse. “He isn’t half going to look weird.”

There’s worse to come. A neuro-surgeon called Patrick Kenny is about to insert two stainless steel pins into Harry’s skull. To these he will fi t a clamp, immobilising Harry’s head. His jaws will be wedged open. Then Kenny will cut a tiny hole through the back of the roof of Harry’s mouth and, in an operation that will last more than four hours, set about removing a pea-sized tumour from a vital gland at the base of his brain.

Harry is a cat. A 12-year-old maine coon, in fact. He’s a big old fella, as maine coons generally are, but Harry is considerably bigger than he should be, because the tumour on his pitui-tary gland is causing it to produce far more growth hormone than it should, a condition known as acromegaly. This has led to one of the disease’s most common complications: uncontrolled diabetes, as the excess hormone counters the eff ects of insulin.

So Harry has needed insulin injections, and lots of them: 12 units, morning and night. It’s miserable and according to Harry’s owners, Richard and Tracy Mills, it’s not making any appreciable diff erence. The options, says Stijn Niessen, lecturer in internal medicine at the Royal Veterinary College’s Queen Mother hospital for animals (QMHA) near Potters Bar, Hertfordshire (which is where we are), are not plentiful.

“You can continue controlling the diabetes with insulin,” says Niessen, as eight vets and nurses in surgical scrubs busy themselves purposefully around Harry, fl at out on the table, “but that’s a bit like mopping the fl oor with the tap turned on. The tumour continues to grow slowly – but there will eventu-ally be a neurological impact.”

There’s radiation therapy, but that is long and tough: between fi ve and 10 sessions, each requiring a general

anaesthetic, and with no guarantee of success. There are also drugs called somatostatins, which inhibit the growth hormone, “but they’re not gen-erally very useful, at least not in cats”.

Or there’s this operation: “which is, well ... rather new.”

In fact, it has been done a bare hand-ful of times, and only once before in Britain, here at the QMHA. The risk, Niessen says, is very real: Harry could die. “But the owners,” he says, “were of the opinion that it was better to attempt it. Not doing so would mean the tumour getting worse, Harry con-tinuing to live with uncontrollable dia betes, and his quality of life being very poor – and deteriorating. And that’s what it’s about: quality of life for the animal. That’s why we do this. That’s why we’re here.”

Some people, of course, will ques-tion whether it is right for a shining, state-of-the-art institution like the QMHA, perhaps the fi nest of its kind in the world – open round the clock, 365 days a year, employing 200-plus highly qualifi ed staff , with spacious consulting rooms, cutting-edge operat-ing theatres, the latest in ECG, CT and MRI equipment, a hydrotherapy tank and even a blood donor programme – to be devoted to treating pet cats and dogs (“companion animals” is now the preferred term).

The QMHA treats up to 8,000 patients a year, most referred by their vets, for every conceivable condition: from acute heart failure to advanced neuromuscular disorders, malignant tumours to gastrointestinal disease, joint replacements to epilepsy. The array of disciplines off ered here, says Holger Volk, genial head of the hospi-tal’s small animal group, is as complete as anyone could want: anaesthesia, cardiology, dermatology, emergency and critical care, internal medicine, neurology, oncology, opthalmology, orthopaedics, soft-tissue surgery.

To the uninformed visitor, it does indeed look more like a plush private healthcare facility for wealthy, or at least well-insured, humans. At recep-tion, the only giveaway – in the tem-porary absence of any pets – is a polite but, one imagines, vitally important notice: “To ensure the safety of all patients, we would ask our clients to keep cats in their baskets and dogs on leads at all times.”

This is plainly not an argument likely to be settled any time soon. Suffi ce it to say you won’t fi nd anyone here, staff or owner, who does not believe absolutely, like Niessen, that if an operation like the one now being performed on Harry can win the patient even a year or two of real →

‘I could name 100

diseases humans

and animals share

and the list would

not be complete’

Twelve-year-old cat Harry has an operation to remove a tumour from his pituitary gland

PHOTOGRAPH DAVID LEVENE FOR THE GUARDIAN


The pet surgeons

Many devoted owners are happy to spend thousands on brain surgery for their cats and dogs – and these operations could help save human lives too, reports Jon Henley


quality of life, it is worth the £3,000-odd it will end up costing

his owners’ insurance company (some bills can be nearly twice as high).

But there is another good reason for doing this particular operation.

“What’s fascinating is that this disease is quite rare in humans, but quite prevalent in cats,” says Niessen. “And we still don’t know what causes these tumours. Are there genetic factors? So these tumour cells will be cultured, and researchers will try to fi nd out what’s gone wrong with the gland. This operation could change the way we deal with this disease in people.”

The concept of “one medicine” or “one health” – the idea that human and veterinary medicine are not divided, but can and should complement each other – is not new. Such giants of the profession as Rudolf Virchow, known as the father of modern pathology, and Sir William Osler, a founding professor at Johns Hopkins hospital and consid-ered the inventor of modern medical teaching, both preached it, eloquently, in the 19th century.

But despite the fact that a number of diseases are shared by humans and animals, it has only lately begun to gain traction, spurred in particular by the similarities discovered recently between the gene profi les of humans and many animals. In 2007, the Ameri-can Veterinary Medicine Association launched a drive “to unite human and veterinary medicine to improve animal

and public health”, while in Britain the Wellcome Trust is now funding fi ve years of research at Imperial College into the historical convergences between human and animal medicine.

Niessen believes the communities can learn from each other. “Around 80% of diabetic cats have Type 2 dia-betes – the condition that’s costing the NHS £1m an hour,” he says. “There are similarities between infl ammatory bowel diseases in dogs and Crohn’s disease, and between Cushing’s disease and hyperthyroidism in cats. Cancers: lymphoma, leukemia. I could name you 100 diseases humans and animals share and the list would not be complete.”

Human medicine, Niessen continues, puts “a lot of money and eff ort into try-ing to replicate these diseases, in mice for example. That can certainly help . But at best they’re basically models – not the naturally occurring disease. And yet in cats and dogs we have those very diseases, occurring naturally.”

Some very respected human medics are already persuaded of the possible benefi ts of a more integrated – or at least a more collaborative – approach. Niessen works with Prof James Shaw, professor of regenerative medicine for diabetes at the University of Newcas-tle. He says doctor-vet collaboration is “only touching the surface at the moment” and could potentially prove “really very exciting”.

Shaw says regenerative medicine – cell and tissue transplantation, gene therapy – in pets holds enormous prom-ise, both in the benefi ts it can off er patients and in the development of ther-apies that may also work with humans. Rodents, he says, are not so helpful: “ W hat we see in mice isn’t necessarily the same as what we see in humans.”

Cats and dogs, on the other hand, look “much more like human patients. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the diseases are very similar. And whereas regulations are just as strin-gent as for a regenerative medicine trial on a person, with companion animals it’s more acceptable, simply because the risk-benefi t is diff erent.”

Not, he emphasises, that this is “a cheap and cheerful way of doing animal testing. You’re talking about real utility and benefi t to an animal with a rela-tively short life who is unwell. Just like a human. The benefi ts to these animals will be there, clinically.”

Hopefully, they will be for Harry. Kenny, the neurosurgeon, is now well into his operation, working with fi erce precision, aided by a computer moni-tor displaying data and images from a prior CT scan of Harry’s brain. Niessen, manning the IV lines, is “the hormone man. We’re removing a tumour from

an essential gland here. Harry will need cortisone infused, his glucose levels could be an issue, salt and water will be really important ... The potential for the patient to become unstable is very high.”

For most of the owners whose animals are treated here, of course, “one medicine” means little. They are simply devoted to their pets, and want them to get better.

Nigel and Ros Gale from Whitstable have brought their seven-year old Ger-man shepherd for a checkup after sur-gery six weeks ago; Max has a serious immune-system disorder. “There’s no cure,” says Nigel. “It’s about mainte-nance now.” The couple are uninsured, and have spent £6,000 on their dog since he fi rst fell ill. “But what,” asks Nigel, “is the alternative? I certainly don’t see one.”

Darren and Margaret Mangan from Uxbridge feel the same about Charlie, a three-year-old springer spaniel. Char-lie very nearly died earlier this year: “Bleeding from his spinal cord, lost the use of back legs,” says Darren. “Platelet count was at zero. Blood oozing from every orifi ce. He was put on steroids and they did his immune system in. Attacked his prostate, liver, kidneys.”

After two weeks at the QMHA – and a bill of £5,500 – Charlie is now pretty much himself again. The Mangans, thankfully, were insured (“Best £12 a month I ever spent,” says Darren). But “even if we hadn’t been, you’d have to have paid. I can’t understand peo-ple who don’t. He’s just such a lovely

←

Images from 12-year-old Harry’s surgery. And (below), at home after his full recovery.

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fellow. Our best mate. You couldn’t ever get rid of him.”

Like every owner I meet, Collette Parker, whose cat Henry has been hit by cars twice in 10 months, is beyond grateful to the hospital and its staff . “They’re just brilliant,” she says. “They call every day, even late in the evening, to keep you posted. They really, really care. Henry’s had his leg pinned, he’s had a bone graft, he’s got an external leg frame. I think they must send the staff on a special cat-whispering course. They’re just amazing.”

They come, certainly, from around the world to work here. Clinical veteri-nary medicine in Britain is recognised as pretty much the best there is (there are almost as many specialists work-ing here as in the whole of the rest of Europe), but this hospital in particu-lar, says neurologist Birgit Parzefall, who has fi nally made it – after three attempts – to the QMHA from her native Germany, is seen as “exceptional”. Stefano Cortellini from Rome, working in emergency and critical care, says it’s

“right at the top of everyone’s list”.They come here, Niessen says,

because “they want to make things better. Make untreatable illnesses treatable, and treatable illnesses cur-able.” Most could probably earn more elsewhere: the QMHA is self-fi nancing, and not for profi t.

“I earn half what I could make in some places,” says Volk frankly, watch-ing two nurses take Alfi e, a dachs-hund recovering from major spinal surgery to correct a disc problem, for a walk down the corridor in a sup-porting sling. “But people come, and stay, because it’s cutting-edge. We’re advancing veterinary science.”

There’s little doubt of that as far as Harry is concerned. A week after the op, I speak to his owners. The couple are insured, and didn’t think long about having the operation: “It’s about quality of life,” Tracy says. “He wouldn’t have had much without it. And if it can benefi t other cats, and even maybe humans, then so much the better.”

Did it work? “He’s fi ne,” says Tracy. “He’s eating more moderately, and his character’s starting to come back – if you put your head down, on his level, he’ll give you this aff ectionate little head-butt, like he used to.”

More importantly, says Richard, the diabetes appears to have gone: “Harry’s blood-sugar level seems to be at the right level, and he hasn’t needed any insulin since the operation. None. It’s been a complete success.”

‘I think they must send the staff on a cat-whispering course. They’re just amazing’

So thanks to Levebum nobody has texted about the texts which would have been fi ne & I could have just gone :) back. I said to Mummy I swear it is literally like living in a fucking Jane Austen with everyone phoning & saying “sorry” for soz and going OH MY GOD HOW COULD HE, tbh I do not know how I will cope if talking really is back in? Plus we are already so busy with intermittent fasting which is uber-complicated, big props to Picklesy, I mean who knew there were only 21 calories in a yumyum, and Dave is desperate to fi nish his gangnam, as in they are still looking for a horse prepared to straddle Hunty, how typical is it that just when you need a horse all the ones you know are basically either dead or Rebekah’s? Mummy was like, darling leave it to me, God, who do we know who does NOT have a horse, and I was like, but it SO has to be the right horse, ie an outgoing & progressive type Dave says, defi nitely fast & quirky but not in your face lefty or head-strong, sort of like Helena Bonham Carter but taller and a horse? Anyway the entire Mummy-horse conversation could have been done in 3 texts, I went to Dave, babes, seriously is it not time people appreciated your amaze work ethic?

So Danny gets a calculator & we go right, if one text = three hours of actual Rebekah going Dave, just wait till you see my new bespoke jodhpurs Charlie says they are too tight round my botty, typical killjoy Etonian, and Dave going better too tight in the bum department than falling down haha, and her going Oh Dave you are SO my kind of fella, typical fun

Etonian, imagine I am still in my scanties what would Sam say,

she is such a serious person tbh I am a tiny bit scared of her, boohoo, and him going don’t cry, Sam is just shy, honestly she wishes she had your outgoing personality, you two should get together more often, yadda yadda yadda, that means 150 texts of

remote Murdoch stroking = job done + 18 days saved for public service, suck THAT up Chris NSFW Bryant :( As seen by Catherine Bennett

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Mrs Cameron’s Diary

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Style

The Margiela for H&M col-lection will re-invent the idea of duvet days when its hero piece, the duvet coat, (complete with grey remov-able cover) goes on sale next week. Loungewear also has the power to leave the house – see Stella McCart-ney out and about recently in a snappy gold jogger suit. Meanwhile, PJs and fancy slippers refuse to stay in-doors: Markus Lupfer’s jolly Whistles collection includes heart-print pyjamas while Newbark is the hottest new name in slippers-as-shoes.

Evidence is mounting that suggests resistance to this trend is futile. 1) Céline does them. 2) Editor of British Vogue Alexandra Shul-man has been raving about wearing a pair of white pat-ent Manolo Blahniks with pointed toes and 3½in heels. 3) Marion Cotillard (right)fi nished her next-season Raf Dior dress with a pair last week. 4) Carine Roitfeld, super infl uential editor, has been wearing them constantly for the past few months. 5) OTK boots might be warmer but are now a bit two winters ago.

INDOOR GOES OUTDOOR

GIVE IN TO WHITE SHOES

Whether you want to keep warm or simply look hot, Simon Chilvers and Lauren

It’s a wr Infl uential labels such as Alexander McQueen’s McQ, Victoria Beckham and Burberry all backed the blockbuster military trend . Think khaki, nipped-in belts and, most im-portantly, great coats. Nineteenth-century military uniforms are the inspiration, now knee-length, double-breasted styles are civilian favourite. M&S has seen them marching out the door – 30,000 have been sold already.

ATTENTION! MILITARY STYLE

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Above: Pyjama top, £125, by

Markus Lupfer for Whistles.

Below: Slippers, £215, by

Newbark, from Dover Street

Market, 020-7518 0680

Right: Oversized duvet coat,

£179.99, by Margiela for H&M

Court shoes, £220, by Kurt

Geiger, kurtgeiger.com

White boots, £345, by Rachel

Comey, from asos.com

White loafers, £65, by

Offi ce, offi ce.co.uk

Left: Military coat, £110,

by Marks & Spencer,

marksandspencer.com

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Ahead-of-the-curve, Burberry did chocolate-box sweetie-wrapper colours for spring/summer 2013, so adopting shiny metallics now is canny. Dame Vivienne is already on it – she recently wore an Orange Cream wrapper jacket. Shine is also a way to lift your hefty winter coat – try a gold Whistles laceup shoe or the Margiela H&M purple or silver hi-shine clutch.

Those with allergies should be warned – your girlfriends might be moulting this season. Fuzz, whether it’s angora, mohair, sheepskin or shaggy faux fur, is every-where. An angora sweater channels Nastassja Kinski in Paris, Texas , a reference at buzz London knitwear brand Sibling . But to really feel warm and cosy, go for Fraggle Rock textures in the manner of Mulberry – check out Tim Walker’s campaign with Lindsay Wixson com-plete with monster – and Meadham Kirchhoff . The hot version on the high street is James Long’s new range for Topman , which we predict will be popular with the fash-ion conscious of both sexes.

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Sometimes, it really is as simple as rearranging the way you wear something. Phoebe Philo’s autumn Céline collection took cow-boy scarf styling and turned it haute. Basically, take a silk scarf (this look doesn’t work with wool styles) and tie it around your neck so that it fi nishes with a point at the front. Alternatively, rewind to 2007 and channel Ba-lenciaga’s pile-it-high tech-nique in homage to designer Nicolas Ghesquière, who leaves the house later this month.

CÉLINE UP YOUR SCARFTHE QUALITY STREET EFFECT

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rap upIf sleek shapes have dominated coats recently, bigger is better in 2012. This can take many guises and none require you to squeeze your knitwear into stream-lined sleeves. Céline’s oversized man’s coat is one reference – see similar styles at Cos – or there’s the puff ed-up puff er. Seen on the catwalk at Peter Pilotto , the Whistles Benny quilted jacket is selling well now while Uniqlo’s forthcoming collaboration with Theory pushes the padded jacket.

SUPERSIZE METHAT FUZZY FEELING

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Maison Martin Margiela for H&M,hm.com

Right: metallic shoe, £125, by Whistles,

whistles.co.uk

Silk scarf, £64.90, by

Uterqüe, uterque.com

Scarf, £260, by Peter

Pilotto, from selfridges.com

Scarf, £35, by Monsoon,

monsoon.co.uk

Far right: Oversized wool coat,

£135, by Cos, cosstores.com

Right: Quilted down coat, £175,

by Whistles, whistles.co.uk

Shaggy fur bag, £80, by

River Island, riverisland.com

Shaggy fur jacket, £50.95,

nelly.com

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Style

With Obama v Romney out of the way, the biggest face-off now is between kilts and dungarees. Both were at Topshop Unique while others have taken sides off the catwalk – model Laura Bailey (below) was spotted at fashion week on team kilt, pairing her midi-length style with heeled ankle boots, while Alexa Chung is forever behind the dungaree, wear-ing it as a staple. The latter looks as if it has staying power too, appearing on the catwalk at Margaret Howell and House of Holland for next spring. This season’s jumpsuit?

KILTS V DUNGAREES

If it started with purple, the colour palette of the season has seeped into oxblood. A dark, reddish brown more often associated with the alternative shade of Doctor Martens , 2012 has seen it go posh. The Duchess of Cam-bridge was spotted in an oxblood skirt suit , and it’s a way to wear leather without that rock’n’roll vibe. Asos, Topshop and The Kooples all sell oxblood leather bikers, which for now beat black or pastel styles. It’s the subtle hue update to do now.

OXBLOOD

Look, if you’re after warmth, this winter’s hot hat is a faux fur cossack à la Keira in Anna Karenina . But if it’s razz you’re after, see the current Prada pics in Vogue featur-ing tennis-style headbands festooned in sequins. Plain retro versions follow at the label next year. The new alice band perhaps? Meanwhile, tiaras are also a thing. See Georgia May Jagger in the Westwood ads . Or channel Courtney Love (right) – tiaras are very 90s grunge revival – whose own Never the Bride line naturally features hair jewellery.

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Above, behind: Pinafore dress, £69.99,

by JW Anderson for Topshop, topshop.com

Above: Kilt, £45, by Asos, asos.com

Collar, £22, by Topshop,

topshop.com

Above, behind: Trousers, £30, by

Monki, monki.com

Above: Boots, £95,

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NOVELLO 0844 482 5115'ABBA-Solutely Fabulous' D.Mail

MAMMA MIA!Mon-Sat 7.45, Thurs & Sat 3pm,

www.Mamma-Mia.com

CAMBRIDGE 08444124652Roald Dahl’s

MATILDA THE MUSICALTue7Wed-Sat7.30Wed&Sat2.30Sun3

www.matildathemusical.com

QUEEN'S 0844 482 5160

LES MISERABLESWINNER! 2012 Olivier

Audience AwardEves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30

www.LesMis.com

OLD VIC 0844 871 7628SHERIDAN SMITH

HEDDA GABLERMon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 2.30pm

Final week

Duchess Theatre 0844 412 4659

OUR BOYS

ARTS THEATRE 020 7836 8463A Radio Play by Samuel Beckett

Directed by Trevor Nunn

ALL THAT FALLCast includes Eileen Aitkins

And Michael Gambon

St Martin's 08444 99151560th year of Agatha Christie's

THE MOUSETRAPEvenings 7.30 Mats. Tues 3 Sat 4

www.the-mousetrap.co.uk

Hippodrome Casino, Matcham Room

HOT CLUB OFCOWTOWN

0207 769 8866 6 - 10 Nov 20.00

Aldwych Theatre 0844 847 1712

TOP HAT"A musical like this comes around

once in a lifetime." Sunday TelTue-Sat 7.30, Tue,Thu & Sat 2.30

www.tophatonstage.comSt James Theatre 0844 264 2140

DADDY LONG LEGSA new musical

Directed by John Cairdwww.stjamestheatre.co.uk

LYRIC THEATRE 0844 412 4661

THRILLER – LIVE!Tue-Fri7.30, Sat 4&8, Sun 3.30&7.30

www,thrillerlive.com

APOLLO VICTORIA 0844 847 1696

WICKEDWickedTheMusical.co.uk

Mon-Sat 7.30pm Wed & Sat 2.30pm

Garrick 0844 412 4662book online loservillethemusical.com

LOSERVILLE the MusicalMon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm

Tickets from £10.00 - £49.50

Savoy Theatre 0844 871 7687Will Young as Emcee

Michelle Ryan as Sally Bowles

CABARET

London Palladium 0844 412 4655TOMMY STEELE in

THE SPECTACULAR MUSICAL

SCROOGE

HER MAJESTY'S 0844 412 2707THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL

THE PHANTOM OFTHE OPERA

Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30www.ThePhantomOfTheOpera.com

Criterion Theatre 0844 847 2483London’s Funniest Comedy

The 39 StepsMon-Sat 8pm, Wed 3pm, Sat 4pm

Ambassadors 08448 112 334

STOMPMon, Thu-Sat 8pm

Thu, Sat & Sun 3pm, Sun 6pm

APOLLO THEATRE 0844 412 4658TWELFTH NIGHT

RICHARD IIIIn repertoire

Shakespearewestend.com

LYCEUM 0844 871 3000book online www.thelionking.co.uk

Disney Presents

THE LION KINGTue-Sat 7.30, Wed, Sat & Sun 2.30

For Group/Education rates call08448717644 / Disney 02078450949

Prince Edward 0844 482 5152

JERSEY BOYSWinner Best Musical! Oliviers

Tue-Sat 7.30,Tue&Sat 3pm, Sun 5pm

DOMINION 0844 847 1775

WE WILL ROCK YOUby QUEEN & BEN ELTON

Mon-Sat 7.30, Mat Sat 2.30Extra show last Wednesday

of every month at 2.30www.wewillrockyou.co.uk

New London Theatre020 7452 3000 / 0844 412 4654

WAR HORSEWarhorseonstage.com

PHOENIX THEATRE 08448717629

BLOOD BROTHERSFINAL WEEK-ENDS SAT

GIELGUD 0844 482 5130

CHARIOTS OF FIRE***** 'A magnificent triumph'

Mail on SundayMon-Sat 19:45, Wed & Sat 15:00

chariotsoffireonstage.com

Shaftesbury Theatre 0207 379 5399

ROCK OF AGESTHE SMASH HIT MUSICAL

Vaudeville Theatre 0844 412 4663

UNCLE VANYAMon - Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30

PALACE THEATRE 0844 412 4656

SINGIN' IN THE RAINsinginintherain.co.uk

PINTER 0844 871 7622ALAN AYCKBOURN’S

A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVALachorusofdisapproval.com

Wyndham’s Theatre 0844 4825120

DREAMBOATS& PETTICOATS

DRURY LANE 0844 871 8810

SHREK THE MUSICAL

Adelphi Theatre 0844 579 0094NOW PREVIEWING

THE BODYGUARDMon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pmwww.thebodyguardmusical.com

Piccadilly Theatre 0844 871 3055

VIVA FOREVER!Based on the songs of the Spice Girls

Book by Jennifer SaundersFrom 27 November | £20-£67.50www.VivaForeverTheMusical.com

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Sveistrup will not be talked into reconsidering: the drama was conceived as a trilogy, and has now reached its conclusion . There is more to this than the pressures of plotting and the strain of spending eight years on a project (The Killing fi rst aired in Denmark in early 2007 , but was longer in the making). “ I want the last chapter to be as good as the others,” he says. “There’s a lot of bad stuff on television, and I didn’t want to become one of the shows that are not working.”

While never “not working”, it’s true that many British viewers found The Killing’s second series less convincing than the fi rst. In part, that may have been to do with expectation levels ; perhaps Sarah Lund’s jumper bobbing around Afghanistan was a leap too far. For the detective’s fi nal adventure, Sveistrup is returning to familiar themes: a mix of crime, politics and, crucially, family. At a preview screening, the scenes of police creeping intently through woodland closely echo that initial season.

One new Killing. Two new jumpers

‘I said goodbye, went out, got in my car, and then totally broke down'

Sarah Lund is poised for her third and fi nal outing in The Killing. Sofi e Grabøl and the team behind the show tell Vicky Frost about saying goodbye, Faroese knitwear – and why it's time men got the big roles

Arts

I am sitting at a bare table in a room with grey walls. Beyond is a large, gloomy offi ce fi lled with desks and offi ce clutter. Outside, the weak Danish

sunshine struggles against the beginnings of relentless rain.

The door bangs fi rmly shut, a recording device clunks into life and Copenhagen’s most famous detective begins her interrogation – only this time Sarah Lund is answering the questions. Sofi e Gråbøl, the actor who plays her, sits on the wrong side of the table, a gregarious, engaging presence, and contemplates Lund’s fi nal exit from this police station.

Filming on the third and last series of The Killing fi nished a couple of days ago, and tomorrow the room in which we now sit will be pulled down, along with the rest of the set, with its familiar corridors and haphazard fi ling. (I have to clear a chair of police fi les to sit down.)

Gråbøl is fi nding this diffi cult to come to terms with. Admirers of the crime drama – which came to BBC4 early in 2011, with little fanfare, and then crept up the ratings to become a massive hit – may also struggle to let go of Lund. She is a somewhat unlikely hero: uncom-municative, occasionally bungling, neglectful of close relationships and family life. But the detective’s unshake-able commitment to fi nding Nanna Birk Larsen’s killer over that fi rst 20-hour season was matched only by the fans’ growing fervour for Lund herself.

And while plot is inevitably central

to a drama that focuses relentlessly on a single crime, it has been Lund’s grad-ual decline – personal and professional – that has made The Killing so gripping ; even allowing for a second series that sometimes stretched the limits of plau-sibility. Lund will not be returning after this outing, Gråbøl promises. “I think there’s a great beauty in ending a story,” she says. “It is fi nished now. I didn’t have that feeling at the end of season two. This time, I feel there’s defi nitely not going to be a fourth. ”

She is clearly fi nding it diffi cult to say goodbye , and for a moment struggles to control her emotions. “I feel like I’ve just stepped off a carousel, but the ground is still moving – so I’m not that formulated about how I feel,” she says, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “But the last day of shooting was much more emotional than I thought it would be; it was very intense. I had three big scenes, and it was like being in this hurricane. I said goodbye to everyone, went out into the parking lot, got in my car, slammed the door and then just totally broke down.”

Across the police station, in another dark, spare offi ce, writer Søren Sveistrup is also beginning to contemplate life without Lund – although, with episodes yet to edit, he has put such thoughts on hold for now . “If you ask me around Christmas, I probably won’t answer the phone, and will be crying,” he admits, cheerfully. “So it will be tough, but it has been my own decision to stop while the party is going.”

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The Killing is intensely personal for Sveistrup, who in person is easy-going and relaxed, but says he is working out his own neuroses with every episode. “The Killing is always about loss. You can lose everything that has a value for you – your soul, really, if you compro-mise yourself. That’s my own night-mare: just to wake up one day and dis-cover it’s all gone.”

Poor Lund, of course, has had to live out these nightmares . The Killing’s strength is that the detective carries the weight of her experiences with her ; in the new series, she is beginning to distance herself from work, attempting to have a private life, and is reticent about being drawn into a chase . In the opening episode, we see her preparing a dinner to be eaten from plates, rather than straight from the pan – a big shift. Lund is so reluctant to go into the fi eld she has even taken to wearing heels. Gråbøl refl ects on these changes in her character. “If you lose everything you invest, can you just put everything on the table again the next time? Like most of

us when we get older, we tend to think, ‘Let somebody else save the world.’”

Even for Gråbøl, Lund remains a mystery. “What amazes me is I’ve not lost interest after seven years, which is more than you can say about most marriages,” she says. “There’s so much we don’t know about her. In that sense, she isn’t really mine – I don’t know more about her than you do.”

The international success of the series has brought inevitable pressures. As Sveistrup was sitting down to write the fi nal 10-part series, Britain was just getting around to awarding its fi rst a Bafta. “I couldn’t make any decisions and I couldn’t write, because I thought everybody would kill me if I got it wrong,” he says. “ Then somebody said, ‘And action!’ and I thought ‘OK, I’ve defi nitely got to hurry now!’ And then I stopped thinking after that, and it was just my gut feeling. But of course, when you try to end the whole story, you feel a pressure: you want to make the best of it, and you’d hate the audience to be disappointed.”

“At the start of the series I felt a bit, I won’t say nervous, but tense,” says Gråbøl. “It’s special – it’s not just like slipping into the old jumper and there it is .” Speaking of jumpers , yes: there is a new one – navy with a white pattern. In the style of series two, we also get a pre-jumper jumper (main picture, with chevrons), which she wears before being lured back into detecting. Both times, Gråbøl laughs, she and the producers tried to leave the detective’s Faroese knitwear behind, but ended up putting Lund back in it.

Nikolaj Lie Kaas, who takes on the hazardous role of Gråbøl’s new sidekick, tells me a funny story about his fi rst day on set. “I wondered if it was actually a parody – are we doing a spoof? Everyone was talking about ‘the jumper’ that hadn’t arrived from the Faroe islands, and they were waiting for a plane, com-ing with it on it. Everything was chaos! I said, ‘If I was to make fun of this series, this is the situation I would choose.’”

Already, Scandinavian television has served up its Lund 2.0, in the shape of the socially awkward Saga Norén , one half of the Swedish/Danish crime part-nership in the much-admired The Bridge. But The Killing team are largely diplomatic when quizzed about the similarities : Gråbøl says she hasn’t seen The Bridge; Sveistrup says the compar-ison is an honour. But the show’s producer, Piv Bernth (now also head of drama at DR, the broadcaster that makes the show), takes a diff erent tack. The immediate future isn’t about more Sarah Lunds, she says: it’s about her male equivalents. With Copenhagen on the map for TV (much to Bernth’s delight: she trained in London with a director who always introduced her as “from somewhere in fucking Scandinavia”), this seems a distinctly egalitarian, Danish approach.

“I think maybe the time has come ,” Bernth says. “We’re trying to develop stories about male characters – what happened to the guys while women were out doing all these things, saving the world? They went back home and took care of all the kids and stuff , but what happened then ?” Danish TV has already explored some of this tension, in Borgen .

In the meantime, Lund must step out once more. And while Gråbøl’s goodbye has been emotional, she admits she’s glad in some ways. “I feel a bit like it’s a divorce, in the sense that it’s a mix between great pain and great relief . It’s the right decision to end it – you grieve, but you’re also ready to move on.”

‘What happened to the guys while the women were out saving the world?'

Seven-year itch … (above) Grabøl as Sarah Lund in the season three off -duty jumper; (below left) in her new on-duty knitwear

The Killing III begins on 17 November on BBC4.

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Harrison Birtwistle, composer I judge a lot of music by asking: “Would I like to have written it?” And with my favourite Carter pieces , I certainly would . I love the Double Concerto for piano, harpsichord and two chamber orchestras. There’s nothing like it in music: the concept , the way it makes time and rhythm move, the instrumen-tation – that bloody harpsichord! Whether it’s playable or not, I’m not sure, because it’s so diffi cult.

I last saw him at the Aldeburgh festival in 2009, when I wrote my music-theatre piece The Corridor. He had a new piece, too, and came to my concert. I remember we went to a restaurant with a lot of people, and everyone had to leave for a concert. He said, ‘Can’t we just stay here?’, which I thought was rather sweet. I said I would stay with him, but then, like a couple of reluctant schoolboys, we had to go to this concert. Neither of us had a piece in it, and I’d gladly have

sat with him. I’m sorry about that moment.

John Tavener, composer Carter transformed all notions of modernism by writing music that seemed to erupt from his very being. He was, for me, the greatest American com-poser that has ever lived. I have always held him in awe, but only recently, since I was seriously ill, have I come to understand his real stature. I think he did something no other modernist has ever achieved. He, in the last 10 years of his life, seemed to rid modernism of all its angst, creating sparkling edifi ces of joy and beauty, like the Flute Concerto and Dialogues for Piano and Chamber Orchestra. From a composer’s point of view, he was an absolute master – and he did it better than any of us.

Daniel Barenboim, conductor I have loved Elliott Carter’s music for many years. Last month, I recorded his

‘Music seemed to erupt from his very being’Elliott Carter, the great American composer, has died at the age of 103. Daniel Barenboim, Harrison Birtwistle and other musicians pay tribute to a master who wrote right to the end


cello concerto, and I was speaking to him only last Saturday. For me, he was the most important American com-poser of his time. His music was not complicated, but it was complex. I think its outstanding quality was that it always seemed to be in good humour. If Haydn had lived in the 21st century, he would have probably have composed like this.

He had the most extraordinary memory. He remembered what happened last week, last year, and 90 years ago. In fact, when he was in his 90s, I performed his music in Chicago. He told me about his fi rst visit to Berlin when he was 14, in 1922. He said he’d heard the last concerts conducted by Arthur Nikisch at the Berlin Philharmonic before Furtwängler took over – and he told me what he’d heard! I must say, I was a little suspicious and had the concert programmes checked. He was absolutely right.This is an edited transcript of an interview for Radio 3’s In Tune.

Alisa Weilerstein, cellist I met him on an incredibly hot day in New York last summer. He was aff able and kind , and was using a giant magni-fying glass to look at a score. When I asked if I could play a passage of his cello concerto , he said: “Of course , but I don’t hear so well.” He lasted about seven seconds before he stopped me with incredibly detailed observations . He told me things I’d never heard before, saying he’d wanted to make use of the cello’s incredible expressive possibili-ties. “I wanted it to sing,” he said.

In the fourth movement, he wanted my playing to be more expressive, which is something I’m rarely told. Usually people tell me to calm down! He composed every day , too. Even on that day , when it was over 40 degrees, he’d got up that morning to write.

Oliver Knussen, composer The journey from a fi rst glimpse of Carter, then 60 , at a rehearsal for an early performance of the Piano Concerto in Chicago (I was too shy to say hello), to the experience of conducting it in his presence at the Barbican nearly 40 years later encloses a multitude of memories . I hope I have at least partly paid back, by playing and recording his music, what I took from him in order to make my own. To have been in on the concep-tion and the fi rst complete performances of the Symphonia, one of the monuments of the fi n-de-20th-siècle, was one of the great honours of my life.

George Benjamin, composer His angle on the world was original, bold and compelling.

In his works, opposites combine and collide; the multiplicity of human experience is represented in music that’s volatile, and full of ambiguity and contradiction. But it also abounds in a teeming sense of invention, bubbling with fantasy .

I fi rst met him as a teenager, in the late 1970s, and remained in contact till recently. Courteous and warm, his exceptional intellect was balanced by an endearing, even impish, sense of humour. He shared an exceptionally happy married life, l iving for more than six decades with his wife, Helen, who seemed – on the surface – a somewhat waspish presence, though below was a heart of gold. Carter was a visionary and powerfully independent fi gure, and he will be deeply missed.

Colin Currie, percussionist A few years ago, I asked Carter to write a work for solo piano, solo percussion and chamber orchestra. I’d noticed he’d always written inventively for percussion and had really been pushing the envelope . We had a meeting at his New York apartment, and he was brimming with curiosity about the idea. At fi rst, I’d receive emails with, say, marimba phrases to check . Then he realised everything he was doing was working and he stopped checking in .

The work was premiered as Conversations for Piano, Percussion and Chamber Ensemble at Aldeburgh in 2011. Having heard how good it sounded, Carter added two further movements , and it became the Double Concerto for percussion and piano . It was one of his very last large-scale works. We were lucky enough to premiere it to him in person in June in New York last year, with the New York Philharmonic. Afterwards, he wrote to me – a typically generous gesture – to say how much he’d enjoyed it, and that the piece worked better than he could have imagined.

Nick Daniel, oboist It’s a shock to the solar plexus to lose him. I played his Oboe Concerto many times, and he once remarked to me: “I used to ask for it to be more controlled, more grey-coloured, but now I want it to just sing.” This singing quality came out as he got older. His music isn’t melodic in a conventional way, though, but in a way that uniquely fi ts the instruments or voice he’s writing for.

His is the kind of music that, at fi rst, you think: “How on earth am I going to do this?” Some pieces remain diffi cult, but they become part of your blood, your DNA . He was absolutely delightful to work with – I don’t know anyone who had a bad experience . Although he was tough , he was incredibly clear , always want ing his music to fl ow. He didn’t want it to get stuck or feel sentimental.

My fondest memory was playing his Oboe Quartet at Aldeburgh . He’d fl own over, aged 101. The fi rst half of the concert was before lunch, then there was a break to eat, and he decided to have oysters . So we had an extra long interval while we waited for him to fi nish his lunch. At the end, he stood up, and walked – unaided – from the back to the front of the church to thank us, and he was glowing. I’ll never forget it. Interviews by Imogen Tilden and Tom Service.

‘I asked if Icould playhim parts of his celloconcerto. He said: Of course – but I don’thear so well’

‘A visionary fi gure’ … (below) Carter, on left, with Aaron Copland in 1981; (main) in 2008

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How did you get into comedy?I’m the youngest of four in a large, exhibitionist family. The only way to get attention was to throw yourself off the top of a ladder – as one of my cousins used to do – or make people laugh .

How do you explain the perennial appeal of the comedy double act?There are diff erent types of double act: the classic dumb-and-dumber , like Morecambe and Wise ; the good cop/bad cop, where one’s a bit spiky and the other ’s daft. Sue Perkins and I take what we might call the Ant and Dec approach: the double act came out of our friendship. People seem to enjoy that, but it’s bad for our work ethic – we just meet up, gossip , piss about, watch TV, fall asleep , then go home.

Why has The Great British Bake Off proved such a hit?When Sue and I said yes to presenting it, in my heart of hearts I thought: “This is just another cookery show –

there are plenty of those already.” So we’ve all been bowled over by the response. I think people like the fact it’s not a mean show – it doesn’t revel in people’s sadness or discomfort, and you’re allowed to get to know the characters in an organic, slow way. And it’s cake, for God’s sake! It just looks fantastic: it’s Battenberg porn.

What’s the worst heckle you’ve had?A bloke once yelled out: “You’ve got chubby knees.” I was 19. I’ve had a real complex about my knees ever since.

What have you sacrifi ced for your art?A long and illustrious career in serious theatre. I applied to two drama schools and was rejected. I took to my bed for three days with a bottle of whisky. Now I don’t really think serious theatre was for me – I haven’t got the teeth or the hair, and my knees are a bit too chubby.

Which artists do you most admire?All the great gods of rock: Robert Plant ,

David Bowie , Jimi Hendrix . I wish I could play electric guitar. Sue and I had a band once, called Leatherhead. She plays the guitar quite well, annoyingly, and I drum. But playing guitar is a fantasy I’ve always had.

Who would play you in the fi lm of your life?Somebody with buck teeth and slightly goggly eyes: Ken Dodd , in his younger years.

What’s the biggest myth about being a comedian?That women aren’t funny. It’s so bloody boring. I hope it’s being eroded. Back in 1993, when we started, we were pretty much the only female double act on the scene. Now there are loads .

If you could send a message to your critics, what would it be?I tried my best. Interview by Laura Barnett.

Portrait of the artist Mel Giedroyc, comedian ‘When I didn’t get into drama school, I spent three days in bed with a bottle of whisky’

Arts Get your Henry Moores here!

Jonathan Jones on the artworks threatened by cash-strapped councilsguardian.co.uk/artanddesign

IN SHORT

Born: Epsom, 1968.

Career: Formed Mel

and Sue with Sue

Perkins at Cambridge

University. TV

includes Light Lunch

and The Great British

Bake Off . Stage work

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Cinderella , at the

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8741 6850; lyric.

co.uk), 24 November

to 5 January.

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Mel Giedroyc in training for the part of Cinderella’s stepmother


Television

On an industrial estate outside Maidenhead, Heston Blumenthal has a laboratory that doubles as a kitchen in which he

spends months on end developing new dishes. Now could be the moment to give a small cupboard of that space to his image and media development team. Heston may be one of the world’s most creative and groundbreaking chefs, but in television terms he hit a standstill long ago because he has become a fl atscreen one-trick wonder: someone who shouts: “Look at me” as he disguises one food to look like another. Even if you had the £ 100,000 kitchen to attempt one of his recipes, why on earth would you want to?

In his latest outing, Heston’s Fantastical Food (Channel 4) – programme development time: three nano-seconds – his glasses appear even bigger than usual. So naturally he’s now experimenting with super-sized cooking to make giant versions of every day meals, starting with breakfast. For someone who has made molecular biology into a culinary art-form, Heston is extremely hazy when it comes to other areas of science. His starting hypothesis was that we are all very grumpy and dissociated because we are skipping breakfast. It’s a possibility, I suppose. But then so is the fact that we are in the middle of a global recession and those of us with jobs often face an hour-long journey on public transport in which we are treated as sardines.

How then, did Heston test out his theory? By creating a fry-up of two 10kg sausages, baked potatoes masquerading as baked beans and a monster fake egg with a mango yolk, and off ering it to people on the station platform on their way to work. That almost everyone declined the invitation was, for Heston, case proved. Though what it more clearly showed was that most people don’t

if you like that kind of thing, but I could have done without the endless padding that came with it. This was a 20 minute programme stretched to an hour. Heston has long traded off things being not quite what they seem. He’s succeeded once more. Only this time he turned everything into a turkey.

There was better science and more entertainment to be had on Dara Ó Briain’s Science Club (BBC2), the latest in the long production line of programmes designed to cash in on the media’s latest discovery: that science can be both fun and interesting, even without the soulful eyes and boy-band looks of Brian Cox to present it. Though, for many, the appearance of the Guardian’s dreamy science correspondent Alok Jha will have more than made up for Cox’s absence.

First up for discussion was sex. It’s hard to go far wrong with sex, but Ó Briain’s guided tour of the subject was conducted with consider-able panache in making the complex comprehensible. It helps that Ó Briain is a naturally funny and intelligent man, but what makes him so good on television is that he comes across as a very generous presenter; someone who doesn’t need to hog the camera and isn’t afraid to let his guests take centre stage. And up stepped Professor Steve Jones, one of the world’s leading geneticists – and certainly one of the driest – to give a master-class in popular science education. His obser-vations that the bicycle was one of the key developments in human evolution – people no longer had to have sex with those on their doorstep – and that Francis Galton had concluded that Britain’s least attractive women could be found in Aberdeen, will stay with me long after I have forgotten what epigenetics actually is.

Last night's TVHeston Blumenthal’s super-sized breakfast left me feeling empty

By John Crace

allow an extra half an hour in their daily commute on the off -chance they will be asked to be guinea pigs for a television show. So Heston set about making breakfast a fun meal for a select group of commuters by taking over the Orient Express and treating them to his variations of boiled egg, cereals and coff ee vapours. Everyone smiled, whooped and talked to each other. QED.

What was objectionable about all this wasn’t Heston – he’s an acquired taste, but on the whole I can take him – but the fundamental conceit that what he was doing was in some way useful. It wasn’t; it was just Heston having a bit of a laugh and trying his hand at something not even he will bother to do again. Which is fi ne, P

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AND ANOTHER THING

A laboratory that doubles as a kitchen … Heston Blumenthal


Watch this

TV and radio

Great British Property Scandal: Every Empty Counts8pm, Channel 4George Clarke is back, cru-sading to get Britain’s empty homes back into use. After he started his campaign last year, thousands have reported vacant properties and even more have signed his online petition, but there are still 1m homes lying empty. George isn’t happy – you can tell by the fact that his whole script seems to be written in an angry upper case. There is good news, though, as the government has coughed up money to help, and war veterans are renovating empties in Mans-fi eld. Martin Skegg

Brazil With Michael Palin9pm, BBC1Michael Palin has certainly got his jaunt in early; as hosts of both the next World Cup and Olympics, Brazil will become the most over-analysed country on earth during the next four years. It merits the scrutiny – Brazil’s emergence is one of the more under-discussed phenomena of this century. Tonight, Palin visits Rio. Among the questions asked: why are Brazilians such con-sistently superior football-ers? Andrew Mueller

Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner9pm, BBC4Clarissa Dickson Wright is one of the few TV naturals, someone whose charisma suggests a person briefl y contained by the medium rather than gearing their whole life towards appear-

ing in it. In this enjoyable new series, she considers our three main meals and discovers the social, techno-logical and health histories behind them. First, the most important meal of the day, breakfast, and to a bikers’ cafe where a “full English” may be ordered alongside a pint of lager on a Friday night. A far cry from the middle ages, where bacon and eggs came to be com-bined on “Collop Monday” – when they would be used up before Lent. John Robinson

Secret State10pm, Channel 4At the start of this four-part series, we arrive in the after-math of an explosion at a US-owned chemical plant in north-east England. Nine-teen people are dead, the community is in uproar, and the deputy prime minister (Gabriel Byrne) isn’t having much luck pouring oil, so to speak, on troubled waters. When a helpful investiga-tive journalist (Gina McKee) directs him to a confi dential report on the company, it highlights the fi rst steps on a murky trail of cover-ups. A well-cast, well-played conspiracy drama. JRked:

con-ll-

is als,

a

m

ar-

conspiracy drama. JR

Secret State, Channel 4

Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner, BBC4

Channel 4

Samira Ahmed.10.45 The Free Thinking Essay: New Generation Thinkers. Jonathan Healey, one of Radio 3’s New Generation Thinkers, gives a talk questioning the value of lessons from history, recorded at the Free Thinking Festival.11.0 Late Junction. Max Reinhardt introduces the second part of John Coltrane’s Ascension, Jonathan Harvey’s Ricercare Una Melodia for cello, and the Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band.12.30 Through The Night. Including music by Beethoven, Brahms, Ravel, Boeck, Bach, Debussy, Messiaen, Telemann, Chabrier, Schumann, Alpaerts, Maurice, Grainger, Vivaldi, Haydn, Mozart and Berwald.

BBC1 BBC2 ITV1

6.0pm Eggheads (R) (S) Quiz, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan.6.30 Strictly Come Dancing — It Takes Two (S)

6.0pm Local News (S) (Followed by Weather.)6.30 ITV News And Weather (S)

6.0pm The Simpsons (R) (S) (AD) Lisa becomes a success at the Sundance Film Festival.6.30 Hollyoaks (S)

6.0pm BBC News (S) (Followed by Weather.)6.30 Regional News Programmes (S) (Followed by Weather.

7.0 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World (R) (S) (AD) Biologists and camera crews explore the wildernesses of South and Central America at night, beginning in the jungles of Costa Rica.

7.0 Emmerdale (S) (AD) Paddy struggles to remain positive following his suspension.7.30 Coronation Street (S) (AD) Gail fears she has ruined her relationship with Audrey.

7.0 Channel 4 News (S) 7.55 4thought.tv (S) Humanist Nick Senior, who has spent 23 years as a member of the armed forces, believes military medics do not receive the credit they deserve.

7.0 The One Show (S) 7.30 Police Elections — Time To Choose (S) Nicky Campbell chairs a debate on next week’s poll to elect Police and Crime Commissioners. (Followed by BBC News; Regional News.)

8.0 MasterChef: The Professionals (S) The remaining fi ve chefs are asked to mould honeycomb into dessert decorations, with only four going on to try to re-create Michel Roux Jr’s Dover sole recipe.

8.0 All Star Mr & Mrs (S) Loose Women’s Lisa Maxwell, McFly drummer Harry Judd and actress Sian Reeves are joined by their partners to fi nd out how much they know about each other. Last in series.

8.0 The Great British Property Scandal: Every Empty Counts (S) George Clarke reports on his campaign to get some of Britain’s 350,000 long-term vacant homes back into use for families in need.

8.0 Pound Shop Wars (S) Documentary following the expansion of two family-run retail businesses — 99p Stores and Poundworld — as they compete for high street dominance

9.0 How Safe Are Britain’s Roads? (S) (AD) This edition explores the dangers of driving while using a mobile phone, and examines whether a car that drives itself could eliminate road accidents completely.

9.0 DCI Banks (S) (AD) Part one of two. The detective investigates the murder of an internet entrepreneur’s daughter and quickly identifi es his prime suspect. Concludes tomorrow.

9.0 Grand Designs (S) A couple plan to convert a dilapidated joinery workshop in north London into a contemporary family home and offi ce.

9.0 Brazil With Michael Palin (S) (AD) Palin learns about the Brazilian mining industry, then visits Rio to examine how the authorities are ridding the streets of drug gangs.

11.35 The Road To El Alamein: Churchill’s Desert Campaign (R) (S) (AD) Jonathan Dimbleby recounts the story of the campaign for North Africa during the Second World War.

11.35 Take Me Out (R) (S) A dancer, a debonair Londoner, a karate-loving businessman and a student try to impress 30 single women and win a date to the Isle of Fernandos. Paddy McGuinness presents.

11.0 Random Acts (S) A short fi lm about insatiable, fun-loving dancing.11.05 Geordies Overboard (S) Following the crew of the Northumberland-based Blyth All-Weather Lifeboat.

11.15 The Ring (Gore Verbinski, 2002) (S) A journalist investigates teenage deaths linked to a videotape. Disappointing remake of the cult Japanese chiller, with Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson.

Radio 390.2-92.4 MHz

6.30 Breakfast. Sara Mohr-Pietsch introduces favourite pieces, notable performances and a few surprises. 9.0 Essential Classics. With Sarah Walker. Including the Essential CD of the Week: Virtuoso and Romantic Encores for Violin, performances by Frans Bruggen and this week’s guest, physicist Athene Donald.12.0 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. Donald Macleod explores the year 1844 in the life of Mendelssohn and

Radio introduces a selection of his pieces, including the Violin Concerto in E minor with Jascha Heifetz.1.0 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. The second of this week’s concerts given by the Nash Ensemble at LSO St Luke’s features Strauss’s Prelude for string sextet from Capriccio and Brahms’ String Sextet No 1 in B fl at. (R)2.0 Afternoon On 3. Today’s selection of music by Dutch orchestras and ensembles includes Purcell from Barokopera Amsterdam and Shostakovich’s Chamber Symphony performed by the Amsterdam Sinfonietta.3.30 Choral Vespers From Westminster Cathedral. Choral Vespers live from Westminster Cathedral, including the fi rst broadcast of a composition

commissioned for the Choirbook for the Queen. The Master of Music is Martin Baker.4.30 In Tune. Sean Raff erty talks to saxophonist Shabaka Hutchings ahead of his collaboration with the BBC Concert Orchestra at the 2012 London Jazz Festival.6.30 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. (R)7.30 Radio 3 Live In Concert. From Bridgewater Hall, Vasily Petrenko conducts the RLPO in Sibelius’s Karelia Suite, Arutyunyan’s Trumpet Concerto with soloist Tine Thing Helseth, and Mahler’s First Symphony.10.0 Free Thinking. Historian Tom Holland and theologian Mona Siddiqui discuss the diff erences between Islam and Christianity at the Free Thinking Festival. Chaired by

10.0 The Culture Show (S) Ben Affl eck talks about his new fi lm Argo and Michael Smith examines the role of death in art and culture.10.30 Newsnight (S) Jeremy Paxman is in Washington DC.

10.0 ITV News At Ten And Weather (S)10.30 Local News/Weather (S)10.35 Exposure (S) Current aff airs documentaries shedding light on social, political and economic issues.

10.0 Secret State (S) (AD) New political drama series, with Gabriel Byrne. The deputy prime minister vows to take on a US petrochemical company after an industrial accident on British soil.

10.0 BBC News (S)10.25 Regional News And Weather (S)10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws (S) 10.45 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow (R) (S)

Film of the dayDirty Harry (9pm, TCM) The fi rst outing of Clint Eastwood’s zero-tolerance cop Harry Callahan set a new yardstick for the crime genre and sparked heated debate about the fi lm’s hard-right stance

FDTHs


Other channels

E46.0pm The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon and Howard stake their most highly prized comic-books on a bet. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon tries to modify Penny’s behaviour. 7.0 Hollyoaks. Maxine tries to make amends with Mitzeee. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. Barney pretends to be married. 8.0 The Big Bang Theory. Penny regrets her night with Raj. 8.30 2 Broke Girls. Max and Caroline fi nd a diff erent way to make money. 9.0 The Big Bang Theory. Amy is caught in a confl ict between Sheldon and Penny. 9.30 The Work Experience. Colby gives designer Tom Codd’s sample collection to a mysterious lady. 10.0 The Inbetweeners. The lads visit a Caravan Club meeting. 10.30 The Inbetweeners. Will organises the Christmas prom. 11.0 Rude Tube: Epic Fails. Web clips highlighting embarrassing mistakes.

Film47.0pm New In Town. Romantic comedy, starring Renee Zellweger. 9.0 Daredevil. Comic-book adventure, starring Ben Affl eck. 11.05 Kingpin. Comedy, starring Woody Harrelson.

FX6.0pm Leverage. Drama, starring Timothy Hutton. 7.0 NCIS. The murder of a former marine is investigated. 8.0 NCIS. Gibbs’ former mother-in-law surfaces as a witness in a murder investigation. 9.0 American Horror Story: Asylum. An exorcism goes terribly wrong. 10.0 The Walking Dead. Andrea and Michonne encounter a community of survivors. 11.0 Family Guy. Chris develops a crush on his teacher. 11.30 Family Guy. Peter decides he needs to achieve fame. 12.0 American Dad! Stan’s pranks land him in jail.

ITV26.0pm The Jeremy Kyle Show USA. The host takes his successful talk-show stateside. 7.0 Gossip Girl. Chuck searches for answers about his father among Manhattan’s social elite. 8.0 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records. Incredible and peculiar record-breaking attempts. 8.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates camcorder

Channel 5 BBC3 BBC4 Atlantic

calamities. 9.0 Girlfri3nds. The contest reaches its fi nal stages. 10.0 I’m A Celebrity: Best Trials Ever. The most memorable Bushtucker Trials. 11.0 Switch. Grace decides to leave the city after she is mugged.

Sky16.0pm Futurama. Fry makes a deal with the Robot Devil. 6.30 The Simpsons. Homer becomes a hippie. 7.0 The Simpsons. Marge sends Homer to a mental institution. 7.30 The Simpsons. Bart is befriended by mobsters. 8.0 The Glee Project. The hopefuls demonstrate their adaptability. 9.0 Last Resort. Kendal is drawn into a battle above ground. 10.0 Fringe. The team ends up in the forest home of a strange race of people. 11.0 An Idiot Abroad 2. Karl Pilkington arrives back in the UK. Last in the series. 12.0 Trollied. The staff accidentally discover one another’s pay rates.

Sky Arts 16.0pm First Love. Sue Perkins learns to play the piano again after 25 years. 7.0 Work Of Art: The Next Great Artist. The contestants create street art in Brooklyn. 8.0 Norman Mailer: The American. Profi le of the American author and journalist. 9.0 Altered By Elvis. The lives of people deeply aff ected by Elvis Presley. 10.0 Blur — The Singles Night. Highlights of the band’s 1999 concert at Wembley Arena. 11.20 Pixies Live At Eurockeennes. A performance by the alternative rock group.

TCM7.20pm Thunder Over The Plains. Western, starring Randolph Scott. 9.0 Dirty Harry. Police thriller, starring Clint Eastwood. 10.55 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid. Western, starring James Coburn and Kris Kristoff erson.

2.0 The Archers. Nic off ers the voice of reason. (R)2.15 Afternoon Drama: Two Pipe Problems. Part one of two. 3.0 Money Box Live. With Paul Lewis.3.30 All In The Mind. Psychology and psychiatric issues. (R) 4.0 Thinking Allowed. Laurie Taylor meets couchsurfi ng researcher Paula Bialski. 4.30 The Media Show. Stories from the fast-changing media industry. 5.0 PM. 5.57 Weather 6.0 Six O’Clock News 6.30 Count Arthur Strong’s Radio Show! Arthur tries to attend a horror-themed convention. (R)7.0 The Archers. Lilian takes on a new role.7.15 Front Row. An interview with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.7.45 The Righteous Sisters. By Jane Purcell.

8.0 The Moral Maze. With panellists Melanie Phillips, Kenan Malik, Matthew Taylor and Claire Fox.8.45 Four Thought. Novelist James Friel defends the virtue of the single life.9.0 Frontiers. New series. A look at what particle physicists are doing after fi nding the Higgs boson.9.30 Midweek. 9.59 Weather10.0 The World Tonight. News round-up.10.45 Book At Bedtime: The Cleaner Of Chartres. By Salley Vickers.11.0 Irish Micks And Legends. A contemporary take on the legendary land of Tir na Nog.11.15 Living With Mother. Comedy drama, starring Daniel Mays and Linda Robson. 11.30 Today In Parliament. 12.0 News And Weather 12.30 Book Of The

Week: On Wheels. Michael Holroyd’s memoir reveals the pleasures of driving a Daf with no gears. (R) 12.48 Shipping Forecast

Radio 4 ExtraDigital only

6.0 The Saint 7.0 The Alan Davies Show 7.30 Gloomsbury 8.0 Hancock’s Half Hour 8.30 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again 9.0 At Home With The Hardys 9.30 The Party Line10.0 Lost Empires11.0 Married Love11.15 On The Train To Chemnitz12.0 Hancock’s Half Hour12.30 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again1.0 The Saint2.0 South Riding2.15 Laurence Llewelyn-

Bowen’s Men Of Fashion2.30 Born Brilliant: The Life Of Kenneth Williams2.45 A Kestrel For A Knave3.0 Lost Empires4.0 The 4 O’Clock Show5.0 Ring Around The Bath5.30 The Alan Davies Show6.0 A Collection Of Bones6.15 The Matrix6.30 Weird Tales7.0 Hancock’s Half Hour7.30 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again8.0 The Saint9.0 Married Love9.15 On The Train To Chemnitz10.0 Comedy Club: Gloomsbury10.30 Stockport, So Good They Named It Once11.0 The Hare Lane Diaries11.30 Laura Solon: Talking And Not Talking12.0 A Collection Of Bones 12.15 The Matrix 12.30

Weird Tales 1.0 The Saint 2.0 At Home With The Hardys 2.30 The Party Line 3.0 Lost Empires 4.0 Married Love 4.15 On The Train To Chemnitz 5.0 Ring Around The Bath 5.30 The Alan Davies Show

World ServiceDigital and 198 kHz after R4

8.30 Business Daily 8.50 Sports News 9.0 News 9.06 HARDtalk 9.30 The Strand 9.50 Witness 10.0 World Update 11.0 World, Have Your Say 11.30 Click 11.50 From Our Own Correspondent 12.0 News 12.06 Outlook 12.30 The Strand 12.50 Witness 1.0 News 1.06 HARDtalk 1.30 Business Daily 1.50 Sports News 2.0 Newshour 3.0

More4

Radio 492.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz

6.0 Today. 8.31 (LW) Yesterday In Parliament. 8.58 (LW) Weather 9.0 Midweek. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book Of The Week: On Wheels. Michael Holroyd’s memoir reveals the pleasures of driving a Daf with no gears.10.0 Woman’s Hour. 11.0 One Day In Summer. Life in Cornwall on one of the county’s busiest days of the year. 11.30 Mr And Mrs Smith. Comedy, written by and starring Will Smith. (R)12.0 News 12.04 You And Yours. 12.57 Weather1.0 The World At One. 1.45 Foreign Bodies. Mark Lawson explores examples of social commentary in Swedish Noir thrillers.

6.0pm Home And Away (R) (S) (AD) 6.30 5 News At 6.30 (S) Round-up of the day’s headlines from around the world.

6.20pm Come Dine With Me (R) (S) Milton Keynes is the setting.

6.0pm House (R) A company boss is admitted with unexplained paralysis. Hugh Laurie and Chi McBride star.

7.0 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers (R) (S) The company’s rail maintenance team works around the clock to waterproof a railway bridge over the M6. (Followed by 5 News Update.)

7.0pm Young Apprentice (R) (S) Alan Sugar plucks another 12 young entrepreneurs from the classroom and gives them the chance to win £25,000 to start a business career.

7.0pm World News Today (S) (Followed by Weather.)7.30 Timothy Spall: Back At Sea (R) (S) (AD) Tim and Shane navigate their way through misty waters on the west coast of Scotland.

7.30 Hugh’s 3 Good Things (S) Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall provides a selection of recipes using courgettes as the main ingredient.

7.0 House (R) The team tries to diagnose and treat an ailing mobster in time for his testimony in a court case.

8.0 The Removal Men (S) A 20ft-long model of a triceratops needs removing from a museum. (Followed by 5 News At 9.)

8.0 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) The happy couple are welcomed home after their honeymoon.8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) Smithy goes missing following Nessa’s revelation.

8.0 Britain’s Best Drives (R) (S) Richard Wilson drives around the Lake District.8.30 Tales From The Wild Wood (S) Spring arrives in Strawberry Cottage Wood.

8.0 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R) (S) The presenter helps three homeowners in Guildford improve the saleability of their properties.

8.0 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (R) (S) The actor visits the Bastille’s L’Hotel in Paris where Oscar Wilde spent his fi nal days.

9.0 Dallas (S) Rebecca’s life is in turmoil in the wake of her violent confrontation with Tommy. Last in the series.

9.0 Unsafe Sex In The City (S) A man hopes he is not diagnosed with chlamydia for the fourth time.

9.0 Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner (S) New series. Clarissa Dickson Wright reveals the origins and development of the three core daily meals, beginning by charting the history of the British breakfast.

9.0 24 Hours In A&E (R) (S) A 74-year-old with terminal bladder cancer is brought in after his condition worsens.

9.0 The Sopranos (R) (S) Junior is appointed boss of the DiMeo crime family and Tony has a temporary impotence problem as a result of taking anti-depressants.

11.55 The Mentalist (R) (S) The return of the crime drama starring Simon Baker. Jane tries to fi nd out more about Lorelei’s connection to serial killer Red John.

11.10 Family Guy (R) (S) 11.30 American Dad! (R) (S) 11.55 American Dad! (R) (S) The family is unaware of Roger plans to become the “king of spring break”.

11.30 Human Planet (R) (S) (AD) An insight into how nature has adapted to life in urban environments, from an invasion of giant elk in Colorado’s Estes Park to mischievous monkeys in Jaipur. Last in the series.

11.05 Extreme A&E (R) (S) Kevin Fong explores the work of doctors in the trauma unit at Charlotte Maxeke Hospital in Johannesburg. Last in the series.

11.30 Recount (Jay Roach, 2008) (R) Convincing fact-based drama about the controversial result of the 2000 US presidential election. With Kevin Spacey, Laura Dern, John Hurt and Tom Wilkinson.

10.0 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R) (S) The detectives suspect that a woman’s death was caused by a rare toxic agent. 10.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R) (S)

10.0 Unzipped (S) Greg James and Russell Kane investigate the behaviour of Brits, drawing on an ‘extensive report’.10.45 Family Guy (R) (S) Brian invites his long-lost son Dylan to live with the Griffi ns.

10.0 Getting On (S) Comedy drama, starring Jo Brand.10.30 The Unseen Alistair Cooke (R) (S) (AD) A profi le of the journalist and broadcaster.

10.0 One Born Every Minute (R) (S) (AD) Fly-on-the-wall documentary observing the lives of staff and patients on a busy maternity ward in Leeds.

10.15 Boardwalk Empire (R) (S) (AD) Owen investigates a suspicious fi re and Gillian begins a feud with Lucky Luciano.

World Briefi ng 3.30 Outlook 4.0 News 4.06 HARDtalk 4.30 Sport Today 5.0 World Briefi ng 5.30 World Business Report 6.0 World Have Your Say 7.0 World Briefi ng 7.30 Health Check 7.50 From Our Own Correspondent 8.0 News 8.06 HARDtalk 8.30 The Strand 8.50 Witness 9.0 Newshour 10.0 News 10.06 Outlook 10.30 World Business Report 11.0 World Briefi ng 11.30 Business Daily 11.50 Witness 12.0 World Briefi ng 12.30 Health Check 12.50 Sports News 1.0 World Briefi ng 1.30 World Business Report 1.50 From Our Own Correspondent 2.0 News 2.06 HARDtalk 2.30 Outlook 3.0 Newsday 3.30 The Strand 3.50 Witness 4.0 Newsday 4.30 Health Check 4.50 From Our Own Correspondent 5.0 Newsday

New In Town, Film4

Full TV listings For comprehensive programme details see the Guardian Guide every Saturday or go to tvlistings.guardian.co.uk/


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Sudoku no 2338

Medium. Fill the grid so that each row, column

and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

Printable version at guardian.co.uk/sudoku

Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0036. Calls cost 77p a

minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks

may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher.

Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for

customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from

a BT landline). Free tough puzzles at www.puzzler.

com/guardian

8 5 9 3 2 4 1 6 74 1 2 6 7 5 8 9 37 6 3 8 9 1 4 2 56 8 1 2 5 3 9 7 49 4 5 1 8 7 2 3 63 2 7 4 6 9 5 8 12 9 4 7 1 6 3 5 81 7 8 5 3 2 6 4 95 3 6 9 4 8 7 1 2

Solution to no 2337

Quick crossword no 13,260

1 2 3 4 5

6

7 8

9 10

11

12 13

14 15 16 17

18

19 20

21

Across

1 Deprived urban area of run-down huts (6,4)

7 Localised tissue decay from infection or lack of blood supply (8)

8 Sediment in alcohol (4) 9 Kind of pastry (4)10 Couture (7)12 From the islands of

northwestern Oceania (11)

14 Pot (7)16 Really bad (4)19 Fruit — bird (4)20 With a pH of over 7 (8)21 Older, richer male

partner (5,5)

Down

1 Rod — workforce (5) 2 Cherubic (7) 3 Overly precious (4) 4 Wordsworth country

(3,5) 5 From Aberystwyth,

perhaps (5) 6 Type of drug (6)11 Southern African

country (8)12 Nasty piece of work?

(6)13 Lacking legal force (7)15 Japanese verse (5)17 Tall and thin (5)

Solution no 13,259

M I R E C A L C U L U SA H L O I AI T E M B L I N K E R SL T F E J D HS M O K I N G G U NH R F E G M DO P I A T E G A L A X YT C Y S T T S

O F F T H E W A L LS B I R D H ET O A D F L A X M A N XO L T T R IA L L E Y C A T D I V A

On the web For tips and all manner of crossword debates go to guardian.co.uk/crosswords

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GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day and

date the crossword appeared another space and

the CLUE reference to 85010 (e.g GUARDIANQ

Wednesday24 Down20). Calls cost 77p a minute

from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks

may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher.

Texts cost 50p a clue plus standard network

charges. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836

9769 for customer service (charged at local rate,

2p a min from a BT landline).

18 Slide sideways (4)

Beware the disaster capitalists

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