BETTER BUSINESS WRITING

MEA CONFERENCE APRIL 2010

1. Text language: Thx 4 yr txt

2. Informal: Got your note and liked it

3. Chatty: Thanks for your note. I’ve read it with interest.

4. Formal yet friendly: Thank you for your letter and the comments

you make.

5. Official: I have received your letter and noted the matters you

raise.

6. Officialese: Receipt is acknowledged of your recent

communication, whose contents have been noted.

7. Legalese: Acknowledgement is hereby made of your

communication (hereinafter “The Letter”) by the undersigned

who has apprehended its matter.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT STYLE AND TONE

1. Write like you speak

2. Strive for shorter sentences

3. Use personal pronouns such as I, we and you

4. Use simpler words

5. Cut the clutter

6. Choose the active rather than passive voice

TIPS FOR ACHIEVING THE RIGHT STYLE

In the initial days of establishment, the precedents are formulated

which will support the effective and on going management and

continuous improvement of our performance throughout the contract.

Our installation methodology will provide a straight-forward process

for planning and conceiving project scope and requirements.

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO WRITE LIKE YOU SPEAK

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO WRITE LIKE YOU SPEAK

When establishing relationships and working arrangements with new clients, we set up plans to ensure we can deliver outstanding performance through the life of the contract.

We have a straightforward process for mapping out the scope of a project and identifying its ongoing requirements. We integrate all relevant factors and clearly communicate the desired business results (not just technical details) in a format that suits

When establishing relationships and working arrangements with new clients, we set up plans to ensure we can deliver outstanding performance through the life of the contract.

We have a straightforward process for mapping out the scope of a project and identifying its ongoing requirements. We integrate all relevant factors and clearly communicate the desired business results (not just technical details) in a format that suits

When establishing relationships and working arrangements with new

clients, we set up plans to ensure we deliver outstanding

performance through the life of the contract.

We have a straightforward process for mapping out the scope of a

project and identifying its requirements.

Strive for short sentences

idea per sentence

Officialese: To give confidence to the view that the certified product

continues to comply with certification requirements, and to support the

renewal process attached to the certification, product is subjected to a

regular product verification audit and a review of the measures to control

quality of product. 46 words

Formal yet friendly: To give you confidence that your certified product

continues to comply with certification requirements, we conduct regular

verification audits and review quality control measures. 24 words

SPEAK DIRECTLY TO YOUR READERS

Keep it simple – choose the

shortest word

Additional Numerous

Approximately Prioritise

Ascertain Purchase

Commencement In the absence of

Concerning In the event of

Demonstrate Is reliant upon

Endeavour For the purpose of

Facilitate In order to

Hereunder In recent times

Identify In relation to

Legislation

Methodology

“Let us have an end to such phrases as these: “It is also of

importance to bear in mind the following considerations . . .”

or, “Considerations should be given to the possibility of

carrying into effect . . .” Most of these woolly phrases are

mere padding, which can be left out altogether, or replaced

by a single word. Let us not shrink from using the short,

expressive phrase, even if it is conversational.

Winston Churchill: memo to all civil servants 1940

CHOOSING THE SHORTEST WORD

Cut the clutter

ROI on the CMS HTML site is up by 30%.

I believe the inflation of the City Metro's business case is well

within the industry best-practice benchmarks for PowerPoint

slides produced by consultants to effect the greenlighting of

projects going forward. The Sydney Morning Herald, 27 October 2009.

Avoid jargon

“Adverbs are like dandelions. If you have one on your lawn,

it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however,

you have five the next day … 50 the day after that … and

then, my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally,

completely and profligately covered with dandelions.”Stephen King

CUT OUT ADVERBS (BASICALLY,

ACTUALLY, REALLY, CURRENTLY,

EFFECTIVELY)

Beware of repetition

I think, … like … like …

Use active verbs

USE THE ACTIVE VOICE

Active verb: The board considered the advice.

Passive verb: The advice was considered by the

board.

Nominalisation or hidden verb: The board gave

consideration to the advice.

KNOW THE

DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN

COMMUNICATING . . .

• Hypothesis

• Method

• Results

• Discussion

• Conclusion

. . . AND THINKING

MEDIUM

AUDIENCE

PURPOSE

AUDIENCE CHECKLIST

• Who will be reading this?

• How much do they know already?

• What questions will they have?

• How much can they absorb?

• How will I supply additional information?

IDENTIFYING YOUR AUDIENCE

28

MAPPING YOUR DOCUMENT

What

medium

should I

use?

Who is my

audience?

PURPOSE

• WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

• WHAT’S MY TOPIC OR

PROBLEM?

• WHAT SHOULD IT

ACHIEVE?

What’s my

purpose?

29

MAPPING YOUR DOCUMENT

What

medium

should I

use?

Who is my

audience?What’s my

purpose?

What

outcome do

I want to

achieve?

What actions

should follow the

reading of my

document?

What outcomes

do I want to

achieve as a result

of those actions?

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

• Structure it appropriately

• Pay attention to lay out

• Use tried and tested techniques to make it interesting

Provide important

firstinformation

VARIATION provides pace and rhythm

Give time to your head line

Showdon’t tell

SHOW DON’T TELL

Tell: Our directors take their responsibilities to good corporate

governance extremely seriously.

Show: All eleven directors purchased their holdings in the market

just as you did; we’ve never passed out options or restricted shares.

Charlie and I love honest-to-God ownership. After all, who ever

washes a rental car?

Illustrate with anecdotes

. . .tell stories

THE FINAL STAGE . . . . . .

time to practise liposuction

• Substantial editing

• Copy editing

• Proofreading

SUBSTANTIAL EDITING

• Does it work in the medium?

• Does the layout make for easy reading?

• Is my purpose clear?

• Have I included what my readers want and need to know?

• Is important info up front?

• Is there flow and logic?

• Am I happy with the headline?

COPY EDITING

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod

are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and

lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a

toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a

porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not

raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe

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