PHOTOGRAPHS BY CLAUDIA KUNIN

Best Ghosts of Hollywood PastFormosa Cafe, 7156 Santa Monica Blvd., West

Hollywood, 213-850-9050. Ask Bartender Hall of Farner Lindy

Brewerton, who's been pouring here for 42 years, and he'll tell you

how Elvis and Marilyn Monroe used to down beers with his

friends or about the time Rudy Vallee complained that the drinks

were too weak-only to pass out five minutes later. Then ask Cass

Marple, who's been waiting tables here for 15 years, to show you

the autograph books. You'll see Michael J. Fox and EddieMurphy sharing autograph space with Milton Berle and Martha

Hyer. Situated across from Warner Hollywood Studios, the

smoky haunt remains unchanged even if its clientele doesn't.

Best Bar to See a StarMaple Drive, 345 N. Maple Dr., Beverly Hills, 213-

274-9800. For star-gazing, this sister eatery to Tony Bill and

Dudley Moore's 72 Market Street draws more celebs than a rain-

forest fundraiser. Talent agency Triad even has its own table, so

there's no place more likely to spy the rich and famous than from

the bar, which overlooks the dining stage. Not exactly pubsy, the

bird's-eye maple paneling is about the warmest thing in this

Flintstone-moderne, cement-and-marble room. Until later in the

evening, when booths are relinquished by diners, bar-stool seating

is limited, so be prepared to stand. Or you can vie for a seat at the

oyster bar within earshot of development deals.

Best Piano BarMondrian, 8440 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, 213-

650-8999. The exterior of this artsy hotel may be loud, but inside

the lounge is a comfy low-key affair with a lot of chrome-and-

Lucite furniture, candlelit tables, sculpture, paintings and good

pianists. You can have hot hors d'oeuvres at happy hour, step out

onto the terrace and enjoy the sunset and a great view of the city,

then come back in for the tunes. The ivory ticklers alternate

during the week and change from time to time, but you can

always count on mellow jazz standards, pop tunes or cabaret.

Michael Feinstein was discovered by Liza Minnelli here.

local professionals from the Wilshire Corridor, some of whom,

such as Dr. Bob, have been coming here for years. "In 12 years

I've never seen an argument in this place," he claims. Okay, so it's

not New York, but there's enough smoke here to make up for it.

Best for Insider Trading TipsEngine Co. No. 28, 644 S. Figueroa St., 213-624-6996.

Swings in the Dow have no effect at this bar in the financial

district, according to bartender Ryan Sage. "Brokers come in

whether they've closed a big deal or just dropped a million. It's a

high-stress job, so these people like to party." Toward that end,

this classy restaurant bar offers a fine selection of spirits, wines

and beers, including three on tap from the Canadian micro-

brewery Big Rock. The bar draws a friendly, chatty crowd, but

small booths built for two offer some privacy for conversation.

Best Prewar MartiniMusso .& Frank Grill, 6667 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood,

213-467 -5123. Pertinacious old Musso & Frank, doggedly holds

its ground. It may not be where the gin martini was born, but it's

where it was preserved-the way it was intended: chilly, soothing,

very smooth. And stirred, contrary to James Bond's call fat a

lethal shaking. The bartenders claim there's no magic in the

recipe, so maybe it's the way it's served, in a classic stemmed

martini glass with a hefty olive. Or maybe it's the dark wood, the

quiet crowd and a half-century of memories.

TrendiestAtlas Bar and Grill, 3760 Wilshire Blvd., 213-380-8400.

Mario Tamayo's new digs sport a huge steel grillwork depicting

the story of Atlas. Serpentine lighting creates a celestial effect on

the lofty ceiling, while closer to Earth, fixtures resemble solar

bursts and lightning bolts. A Herculean mirror dominates the wall

behind the bar, reflecting a crowd, adorned in black leather and

funny hats, straight out of Details magazine. Canned amusement

is as capricious as the gods themselves, segueing from '70s disco to

Louis Armstrong. Drinks, too, are precious, with names like Poet's

Dream (Benedictine, gin, vermouth and a lemon twist) and the

Five Way Glamm (bourbon, scotch, vodka, gin, pineapple juice

and grenadine). For mere mortals, there's also ordinary beer.

Best for Suburban CowboysSagebrush Cantina, 23527 Calabasas Rd., Calabasas,

818 -888 -6062. Pull up a chair at one of the red-and-white-

checked tables on the prairie-size patio and take in that big Valley

sky. Granted, the cowboys and cowgirls who frequent this

longtime fave prefer designer jeans to chaps and drive Broncos

rather than ride them, but for a truly down-home hangout there's

no finer spread. The building is part of the Leonis Adobe

Historical Landsite, said to be haunted by the ghosts of Miguel

and Espiritu Leonis, feared land barons back in the 1870s. Spirits

or not, it's a nice spot to catch some rock 'n' roll while knocking

back margaritas and beer. And there's a good chuckwagon of

appetizers, from Mexican and barbecue grub to seafood.

., Best for Disgruntled New YorkersChrystie's,8442 Wilshire Blvd., 213-655-8113. On

Beverly Hills' "Upper East Side," Chrystie's facade could be right

off Madison Avenue. On a corner location with large windows

next to the Wilshire Theater, the bar is popular with pre- and

posttheater crowds (when that theater's not dark). But what

really turns Chrystie's into a surrogate Manhattan is the

afterwork set. Weeknight happy hour draws a friendly bunch of

Best New York Bar in Beverly HillsTribeca, 2424 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills, 213-271-

1595. Don't be discouraged by the long wait at the door. As co-

owner Jack DeNicola explains, "If you're persistent, you'll get

in." The best way, though, is to arrive early or reserve a table

upstairs for dinner. The long, narrow bar, sparsely decorated with

deco hanging lamps, ceiling fans and exposed trusses, evokes the

downtown Manhattan environs from which it takes its name.

Taped music jumps from R&B to rock 'n' roll to World Beat. But

the highlight here is the crowd itself: Attorneys mix with sports

fans and bohemians, and there's a constant parade of tiny black

dresses up and down the staircase-as-showcase.

Best Beer BarFather's Office, 1018 Montana Ave., Santa Monica,

213-393-BEER. Barney's Beanery may have a gargantuan

selection of beers from around the world-some 200 types-but

remember, most of them are bottled. Father's Office has, at any

given time, up to 31 beers from micro breweries of the Pacific

Coast, from lagers to wheat beers to light, amber, dark and

seasonal ales-all fresh and preservative-free from the tap and

poured in various sizes, including 4.5-ounce tasters ($1.50).

Best SunsetThe Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel, 33533

Ritz-Carlton Dr., 714-240-2000. High on a bluff overlooking the

water's edge, the room's windows are designed for sweeping views

of Catalina and the coast. Settled on a tapestry-covered couch,

take in the antiques and original oil paintings and listen to music

from the grand piano. You can have your drinks alfresco on the

terrace, but there's something so lanquid and hypnotic about the

lounge that you'll find it hard to leave-ever.

Valley power: The Bistro Garden at Coldwater.

Best for Valley Power PlaysThe Bistro Garden at Coldwater, 12950 Ventura Blvd.,

Studio City, 818-501-0202. The classic marble-topped oak bar

and ornate light fixtures give this watering hole a sophisticated

look, while the skylight over the adjacent dining area, the

greenery and the cafe furniture lend the casual open-air feeling of

a sidewalk bistro in Paris. The bar remains relatively

undiscovered; the barkeep estimates that 95 percent of his

business is from diners-in-waiting. It also has a TV over the bar-

in case your agent is late.

Strongest MargaritaCas a Escobar, 2500 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica,

213-828-1315. There's nothing nouveau about these babies.

One bottle of off-brand tequila to one bottle of Triple See to one

bottle of lemon juice are premixed in a jug, resulting in an

industrial-strength but eminently drinkable concoction. The

atmosphere isn't ires ultra-it's your standard-issue red-carpeted,

red-boothed family-run Mexican affair-but after two margaritas

you're not going to notice.

Best Hotel BarRegent Beverly Wilshire, 9500 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly

Hills, 213-275-5200. While the lounge has been getting lots of

press as a popular place for high tea and casual dining, it's the bar

near the back that gets our nod. Casually elegant with lots of

maple paneling, mahogany millwork and wing chairs, it has the

feel of a living-room cocktail party. There's piano music nightly

from 5, and on weeknights complimentary hors d'oeuvres might

include quiche lorraine or chicken brochettes. Victor, an affable

white-jacketed bartender, is proud of his martinis and

manhattans, made with almost triple shots. All drinks come with

jumbo bridge mix and a bowl of the kitchen's kettle chips.

3~ IBIE§f IBAIR§

Best for Crazy Tropical DrinksTrader Vie's, Beverly Hilton Hotel, 9876 Wilshire

Blvd., Beverly Hills, 213-276-3888. The Trader may be getting

on in years, and as atmosphere goes, there are places trendier and,

well, more tropical, such as the Ricky Ricardoesque Mocambo or

the perennial Kelbe's. But there's nothing like the original. Who

else has a scorpion built for four? Or the infamous samoan fog

cutter ("a potent vaseful of rums, fruits and liqueurs")? Drinks

may come with toys and trinkets, but the white-jacketed

bartenders are serious when it comes to their cocktails. You won't

get cocktail chat from them, but then who's going to hear

anything after one of these bazookas?

Best Yuppie Pickup BarStepps, Wells Fargo Center, 330 S. Hope St., 213-626-

0900. A clean, well-lighted place where Brooks Brothers habitues

like to hang out and try for one last merger before the day's

closing bell. To help things along, all martinis and manhattans are

served double shot. The beers, personally selected by suds

authority Michael Jackson (not the one who walks backwards),

include five on tap and an international bottled selection. During

summer, the "Patio Porta Bar" packs in maybe 200 people.

Best for Music-Industry TypesLe Dome, 8720 Sunset Blvd., 213-659-6919. Elton John

recently threw a party here. Billy Idol, Lionel Ritchie and Quincy

Jones are among the regulars. And there are often more record

execs than you can shake a demo tape at. The domed circular bar

(perfect for star-gazing without craning) draws an eclectic crowd

with a European bent. They serve a drink here called Pouisse

Rapier that's well known on the Continent but hard to find in the

States. (The name translates as "push the sword," because the

more of these heady champagne-Armagnac concoctions you

drink, the bolder you become.) The four alcoves surrounding the

bar bounce even a whisper across the room, so if you have any

potential hit songs in your head, don't hum them here.

For serious cocktails: The Regent Beverly Wilshire.

And as you sit near one of the huge windows and gaze at the

twinkling lights of Long Beach, you might forget for the moment

you have to drive home. But don't.

3~ lRJE§llRAlR§

Best Bar to Seean ArtistCocola, 410 Boyd St., 213-680-0756. Owner Wendy

Davis has managed to capture something that's become all but

extinct: a neighborhood clientele. In this case, located in

downtown's loft district, the crowd happens to be artists. Original

works of art, changed about every six weeks, adorn the gallery-

white walls, and the colorful cast of regulars makes for a lively,

friendly atmosphere. Try the Cocola Cooler (vodka, schnapps and

orange and cranberry juices), great for hot summer nights, or for

something a bit more political, the Noriega Meister (Black

"George" Bushmills, Jaegerrneister and, of course, a little Coke).

'Best for Out-of-Work ActorsResiduals, 11042 Ventura Blvd., Studio City, 818-761-

8301. Spago it ain't, but as a watering hole for stuntrnen, game-

show hosts, newscasters and other folk who want to hangout with

their own, it's just the ticket-the Du-par's of bars. And any

residual check under $1 is worth $5 at the bar, where there are

plenty-even hefty 23, 47 and 85 centers-framed on the wall. As

inspiration-or aggravation-to those who aren't working, there's

the "Who's Doing What & to Whom" board that keeps tabs on

regulars who are working, with names you'll recognize, such as

Garry Marshall and Fred Roggin, and a lot you won't.

sports is spoken here: Legends in Long Beach.

Best in a Tourist AttractionObservation Bar on the Queen Mary, 1126 Queen's Hwy.

Northbound, Long Beach, 213-435-3511. We wouldn't normally

steer you toward an amusement park for an evening libation, but

this potable port is such a classy place you'll start to believe you're

really on the high seas. And after 6 (after 9 from June 16 through

September 3), when most of the tourists are heading for home,

admission is free. There's '40s-style jazz and an art deco

atmosphere harking back to those glory days on the high seas.

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Best Happy Hour forthe Youngat Heart

Red Onion Marina del Rey, 4215 Admiralty Way,

Marina del Rey, 213-821-2291. Okay, but this isn't about

atmosphere. It's about free food-and plenty of it. The infamous

Mexican food chain calls it an Attitude Adjustment Hour, and it

happens every weekday from 4 to 8. You get two-for-one drinks,

$5 pitchers of beer and margaritas, $1 schnapps and kamikazes

and $1.95 mai tais, pifia coladas and tequila sunrises (more fun-

and more people-than a fraternity party). There's enough free

food for a meal, including tostadas, taquitos, chips and fresh fruit,

veggies and dips, plus an alternating selection of ribs, chicken, hot

dogs and fajitas. Just get those elbows in shape; you'll need 'em.

Best Neighborhood BarChez Jay, 1657 Ocean Ave., Santa Monica, 213-395-

1741. The old beachside haunt is still the kind of place you'll find

construction workers, secretaries and heads of state (Henry

Kissinger used to drop in when he worked at nearby Rand

Corporation) elbow to elbow at the bar-or at least table to table.

Arrive in a suit after work or sweats after a workout, and you'll

get the same friendly service from owner Jay Fiondella. The navy-

surplus decor hasn't changed in 32 years, and neither have the

drinks-tall and honest. This is one of L.A.'s last watering holes:

dark, cozy, casual and totally without airs.

Best Sports BarLegends, 5236 E. 2nd St., Long Beach, 213-433-5743.

Newcomer Alzado's on La Cienega has a lot of fans, from rebel

actors (Mickey Rourke is a regular) and bikers to stuffy white-

collar types. Problem is, a sports bar without a satellite dish is a

Super Bowl party without beer. For a genuine sports bar, we put

our money on Legends. It's everything a sports bar should be:

casual, friendly, at times raucous and with everything from

Nelson Piquet's Formula One car hanging on the wall to football

helmets, a bicycle, a windsurfer and mounted animal heads. And

with four big-screens and six satellite dishes for optimal viewing,

along with their fries and ice-cold beer, it's couch-potato heaven.

Best for a NightcapWest Beach Cafe, 60N. Venice Blvd., Venice, 213-823-

5396. With some 50 cognacs, 32 Armagnacs, 17 calvados and a

laundry list of eau-de-vies, grappas and whiskeys, this is L.A.'s

nightcap capital. For several years, Bruce Marder's Venice bar

and restaurant has been a haven for artists, entertainment folk,

singles on the prowl and other sundry denizens of the Westside.

Zenlike in comparison to showy, high-concept sister Rebecca's

across the street, the Beach looks like a track-lit white box with

art on the walls. The bar area is narrow and usually packed until

the dining tables give way to drinkers later in the evening. The

clientele, plus its great list of spirits, combine to make this a nice

place in which to end the evening ... or start it, for that matter.

Best Bar

to Hear the

Queen's English

Ye Olde King's Head, 116 Santa

Monica Blvd., Santa Monica, 213-451-

1402. If Andy Capp were a tourist, this

would be his first (and probably last)

stop-the King's Head is a place where

everybody feels comfortable, from

celebrities and rock stars to working-class

stiffs. There's always a game of darts

going for those who prefer to use their

elbows for more than just lifting pints of

ale-of which there are plenty on tap,

from Harp, Guinness and Watney's to

Bass, McEwen's and Newcastle Brown

Ale. And while some may"claim it's an

oxymoron, there is fine British cuisine:

fish-and-chips, steak-and-kidney pie,

bangers and mash and faggots and peas. A

favorite with Santa Monica's large British

contingent, the Head, like the Union Jack

itself, has no equivalent.

Best in aHistoric LandmarkGrand Avenue, Biltmore Hotel, 506

S. Grand Ave., 213-612-1532. Jazz critic

Leonard Feather calls it "the hippest

corner downtown." There's music on

weeknights (the bar is closed weekends)

from the likes of Jimmy Witherspoon,

Tom Scott and Linda Hopkins, with no

cover charge except on Mondays, when it's

Big Band Night ($4 to $8). It's got one of

the happiest happy hours in town with a

buffet that includes freshly made pastas

and sauces and a lavish nacho bar. And

while the bar, built in 1981, has a much

more modern flair than the hotel, you can

explore this ornate architectural treasure

of Spanish-Italian renaissance style and

have a nightcap in its Gallery Bar, with

large wing chairs, stately columns and

two-story-high ceiling with cherub

detailing. There's $4 parking available in

Pershing Square with validation.

Best Irish BarMolly Malone's, 575 S. Fairfax Ave.,

213-935-1577. When it comes to Irish

coffee, Tom Bergin's is tops. But for a

lively Dubliner experience, Malone's is

unbeatable. Originally the 575 Club, the

bar, according to one tender, was one of

the first in L.A. to be granted a license

after Prohibition-a tribute to the

3~ IBIE§f IBAIR§

Irish spirit. A dark, no-frills kind of place with the heavy aroma of

spilled beer (Harp and Guinness, of course), Malone's draws a

youngish international crowd. There's Irish to folk to rock-'n'-roll

entertainment Tuesday through Sunday. While regulars at

Bergin's down the street get a paper clover hung on the wall in

their honor, at Malone's you might get an original portrait by

artist Neil Boyle, BSWCA (Big Shot West Coast Artist).

Best Irish Pub in aBlue-Blood Neighborhood

Monahan's, 110 S. Lake Ave., Pasadena, 818-449-4151.

Twenty-five years ago, Peter Monahan dropped by a little French

bar and restaurant on Saint Patrick's Day and was so taken by the

place, he bought it and gave it his Irish touch. Today, Pasadena's

renowned Hibernian watering hole is a favorite of everyone from

off-duty police officers to stockbrokers. Joseph Wambaugh used

to hang out here and came up with a drink that's still poured, the.

Black Marble, consisting of Stolichnaya on the rocks with an

orange peel and a black olive. In addition to steak and seafood,

you can get a fine Irish stew or corned beef and cabbage, and on

Friday and Saturday nights there's entertainment, usually a

guitar player. A friendly, civilized place in which to hoist a brew.

Best Bar to Be Hip InPorts, 7205 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, 213-

874-6294. Keep your eyes peeled when looking for this place-

there's no sign, just a black awning overhead and a brass plate on

the door. Inside, the decor is minimalist-floor-to-ceiling black on

black, with an occasional spot of pastel light. Bats would be right

at home here, along with the writers who frequent the bar. In the

know before Melrose became Melrose, Ports has an arty noir

motif-in one particularly dark corner, sharply lit modern art

pops out from the walls in a sort of photographic-negative image

of a white-walled gallery. On crowded weekends, leather-jacketed

beer drinkers vie for space with chicly dressed diners, as the

Galaxy 200 jukebox spins 45s, from Ray Charles and Tone-Lac

to Iggy Pop and Elmore James.

And Finally ...

Just Because

It's ThereThe Polo Lounge, 9641 Sunset Blvd., Beverly Hills, 213-

276-2251. What can be said about the legendary pink-and-green

halls that isn't a cliche? Sure, it's a fabled arena of Hollywood

dealmakers and golddiggers. But when you come down to it, it's

also a nice place to have a drink-consistently. Classy, quiet and

power-packed. The kind of civilized haunt where jackets are

required after 7, clinking highballs mingle merrily with tinkling

ivories, Rolexes flash freely and cigar smokers huddle over tables

uttering such lines as "Don't worry, it's just a piece of paper

to protect you ... trust me."