Lager originated in Central Europe in the early 15th century. After initial fermentation, the beer is stored

at low temperatures (a process known as “lagering”) to allow for the production of bottom-fermenting yeast. This yeast is

more aggressive than ale yeast, and produces a clean, crisp beer with a smooth finish. Lagers are typically served cold.

India Pale Ale was developed in England in the 1790s by increasing ales’ alcohol and hop content in order to solve the problem of beer going flat or sour during long ocean voyages.

Malts are used to balance the hops, sometimes creating a mildly sweet flavour. ABV

5-7.6%. Serve cellar (12-14 degrees

C e l s i -us).

Lager

Creemore Springs UrBock 3.6Aberdeen Berry: A bit creamy, a bit nutty. It fills the mouth in a pleasant manner. Helene Goderis: Fine bubbles in this soft red beer - a beer with history.Creemore Springs Brewery ❋ Creemore, ON 6%

Nickel Brook Premium Organic Lager 3.6Jocelyn Robertson: Light, bubbly beer makes for a perfect dark substitute for champagne! Marin: Very refreshing, crisp summer beer with short bitter finish.Better Bitters Brewing Co. ❋ Burlington, ON 5%

Molson M 3.5Anna Phillips: Fresh and lemony like summertime laundry. Vanessa Purdy: Best supporting actor in a comedy - light but substantial.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 4.9%

Cool Lager 3.5Cara Sabatini: Crisper than freshly starched linen, but much more thirst quenching. Just as clean of a finish. David Stokes: Light, quite sweet, smells like teen spirit.Cool Beer Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Coors Light Iced T 3.4Aberdeen Berry: Extremely flavourful for a beer this light. Terrifically unique. It makes me feel like a British imperialist in 19th century India. David Stokes: Tea! And Beer! They condense eternity.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 4%

Molson Dry 3.4Anna Phillips: Fruity mix of orange crush and chocolate icing. Bodi Bold: Pleasant despite the transparent colour.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5.5%

Stella Artois 3.3Samantha Chiusolo: I would enjoy getting drunk off this. All it needs are some chicken wings. Yukon Damov: Discrete and inoffensive, like a fine European gentleman. Suited for a non-beer-drinker.Labatt Brewing Co. ❋ London, ON 5%

Budweiser 3Samantha Chiusolo: Tastes like money, but not rich. More like coins in my mouth from a drinking game. Dan Christensen: Clear, but awfully flavourless. Not a bad beer for begin-ners. Also great if you want to lie to yourself and pretend you're not drinking!Labatt Brewing Co. ❋ London, ON 5%

Upper Canada Lager 3.2Helene Goderis: A beer slated for the beer pong table. Vanessa Purdy: The Marilyn of beers: not particularly talented, but also not without its charm.Sleeman Brewery Ltd. ❋ Guelph, ON 5%

Molson Canadian 2.8Alan Jones: Nice fruity touch to it, but doesn't leave an impression. Andrew Walt: Its finish is far too thin, almost as if it's ashamed to be a beer. Not a bad thing if you're a 14 year-old girl.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Bud Light 2.7Samantha Chiusolo: Very light. A perfect beer to play pong with. Bodi Bold: If I had to buy alcohol for a minor, this would be the beer.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 4%

Stonewall Light 2.5Cara Sabatini: A light wheaty start. Breakfast of champions? Helene Goderis: Probably tastes amazing trailed behind a canoe, then sun-warmed a little.Cool Beer Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON

4%

Amsterdam Natural Blonde 2.5Karel Reina: Smells like a spice in my grandmother's garden. Geoff Vendeville: A thin, very light beer. Great for drinking on a hot summer day.Amsterdam Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

I.P.A.

Beau’s Beaver River I.P.Eh? 3.7Bodi Bold: Creamy with notes of caramel, but a little rough around the edges.

Andrew Walt: Complex with an alluring aroma. Spicy and uncomfortably bitter.Beau’s All Natural Brewing Co. ❋ Vankleek Hill, ON 5.6%

Smashbomb Atomic I.P.A. 3.7Bodi Bold: Bitter with a nice caramel colour. A refreshing aftertaste despite being on the heavier side. Marin Susac: Hoppy with earthy tones and a long, bitter finish.Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery ❋ Barrie, ON 6%

PA

L E

A LE

Supercollider Double I.P.A. 3.6Bodi Bold: Thick and dark - makes me so hoppy!

Aberdeen Berry: Despite its undertones of over-ripe fruit, this beer is actually delicious, and for

something so heavy, surprisingly refreshing.Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery ❋ Barrie, ON 12.4%

Wheat

Pale Ale was first used as a term in the early 18th century. It has a pale-golden to amber colour, is usually clear, and often has a bready, toasty, biscuity flavour. ABV 4.5-6%. Serve cool (8-12 dgrees celsius).

Granville Island English Bay Pale Ale

3.5Bodi Bold: Melting-on-my-tongue deliciousness. Daryn Caister: Cloudy amber, malty orange, silky, mildly sweet, rich aftertaste.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Wellington County S.P.A.

Jeremy Edgell: Nice caramel colour, bit-ter at first sip but mild at second with a

smooth aftertaste. Paul Richardson: Great caramel aroma, lightly hopped, with but-terscotch on palate. Lingers with a fine mousse. A real killer.Wellington County Brewery ❋ Guelph, ON

4.5%

Mill Street Tanhouse Ale

Bodi Bold: A forest of flavours in my mouth. Aberdeen Berry: Pleasantly light tasting for a darker beer; aftertaste is nutty and lingers in the mouth perhaps a bit too long, but it is sufficiently rich to

compensate. This is a beer that makes you feel drunk.

Mill Street Brewery ❋ Toronto, ON 5.2%

3.5

Alan Jones: It feels cold in my hand, but fails to melt in my mouth. Dan: Flashy off the top but utterly un-memorable after that. Best swallowed immediatly.

Sleeman Brewery Ltd. ❋ Guelph, ON

Maclays Traditional PaleA 2.5

5%

Paul Richardson: Call Willy Wonka - someone burned his caramel. Daryn Caister: Starts off

malty, with hints of wasabi. Lean, quick fin-ish with a nutty after-

taste.Sleeman Brewery

Ltd. ❋ Guelph, ON

5%

Okanagan Spring Pale Ale 4.1

3.6

Nick Ragetli: Mild golden hue with a mild taste. Very clean. Aberdeen Berry: Sani-tized - the beer of the future. The beer you should be drinking from a solo cup.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Molson Export Nick Ragetli: Clean, crisp with a slightly fruity after-taste. Helene Goderis: Firecracker in the

mouth.Black Oak Brewing Co. ❋ Etobicoke,

ON 5%

Black Oak Pale Ale 3.4

2.5

Originating in late 17th century Lon-don, brown ale has taken on a sig-nificantly different connotation than its original mean-

ing. While 18th-century brown ales were brewed from 100% brown malt and

lightly hopped, to-day’s brown ales are of medium strength and are usually low alco-hol. They range from brown to deep amber in colouration, and are most often sweet and/or nutty. Choco-late and caramel fla-vours are also noticea-ble. Best served mildly chilled for optimum haziness.

Brown

Ale

Nick Ragetli: Bitter at first, but slowly softens. Aberdeen Berry: The closest beer has ever come to being a hazelnut latte. The aftertaste is both rich and tingly.Hockley Valley Brewing Co. ❋ Orangeville, ON 5%

Hockley Dark Traditional English Ale

3.9

Aberdeen Berry: Nutty and smooth, this beer says two things: plaid and no regrets. David Stokes: Rich and deep like caviar and poetry.Wellington County Brewery ❋ Guelph, ON 6%

Netherworld Cascadian Dark Ale

Wellington County Dark Ale

3.8

Andre Russu: Thick, bitter taste. Offers a hint of sweet-ness, and lacks a distinct aftertaste.Aberdeen Berry: Yeasty under-tones. Soft around the edges, with lacy foam.Wellington County Brewery ❋ Guelph, ON 5%

3.6

Aberdeen Berry: A pleasantly floral flavour with an almost ashy aftertaste. The memonto mori of beers. Yukon Damov: Like a mahogany chair with sharply whittled legs. Good craftsmanship with a kick.Black Oak Brewing Co. ❋ Etobicoke, ON 5%

Black Oak Nut Brown

3.5

Amsterdam (416) Urban Wheat 4.1Karel Reina: Smells like spring! Tastes so fresh! It's like a

season in my mouth. David Stokes: Punching but smooth. This beer tastes just like Fruit Loops in a good way.

Amsterdam Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON 4.16%

Hockley Black and Tan Bodi Bold: I could drink this for all meals of the day. Dan Christensen: No aftertaste, which is a good thing: it is a burst of unique fla-vour that needs to be experienced immedi-ately.Hockley Valley Brew-ing Co. ❋ Orangeville, ON 4.7%

Nickel Brook Maple Porter Dan Christensen: Chocolate in there somewhere. Frothy. Best in large gulps. Alan Jones: Just like molasses.Better Bitters Brewing Co. ❋ Burlington, ON 5.5%

Hockley Stout Andrew Walt: Flavour-ful without being domineering. Smooth and clear, but lingers a bit with creamy tastes. Brilliant beer. Jon Dundas: The bacon of beers. Hockley Valley Brew-ing Co. ❋ Orangeville, ON 4.2%

Samantha Chiu-solo: This is the half-beer you find at the end of a party when you need to stay drunk. Cara Sabatini: Earthy; mulchy. Like a satisfy-ing day in the woods.Beau’s All Natural Brewing Co. ❋ Vankleek Hill, ON 5.2%

Lug Tread Lagered Ale

PORTER AND STOUT

3.8

3.4

3.3

3.2

Porters and stouts have an intertwined his-tory dating back to 18th century Britain and Ireland where they were identified as dark beers brewed from brown malt. In those times, the distinction between stout and porter was simply a question of strength. The stronger porters, both in respect to col-ouring and to alcohol content, were identi-fied as stouts owing to their heaviness. A stout is now chiefly consid-ered to be a dark, bitter, and distinctly Irish brew, typically with a creamy, impenetrable head.

Although Pilsner is relatively young – it was developed in Pilsnen in the present day Czech Republic in the mid-1800s – it is one of the most popular styles of beer today. Made with hard or neutral water and partially malted barley, Pilsner usually has a hoppy aroma, a dense white head, a light taste and refreshing finish. Serve cold.

Pilsner

Steam Whistle Pilsner Marin Susac: Medium bodied, delicious and crisp. A beer made for long lasting enjoyment. Cara Sabatini: Yeast dances on the tongue in a wonderfully cho-reographed ballet. Mmm... culture.Steam Whistle

Brewing ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

4

3.8

3.3

Creemore SpringsTraditional Pilsner

Caleigh: Kind of a rustic feel. Dan Christensen: A mature, complex flavour that turns bitter in the after-taste. For those who love beer.Creemore Springs Brewery ❋ Creemore, ON 5%

Nickel Brook Green Apple Pilsner Nick Ragetli: Distinct apple flavour. Very refreshing. Aberdeen Berry: Extremely pleasant for the first few sips, before you can begin to taste the inevitable hangover.Better Bitters Brewing Co. Burlington, ON 4%

AMBER

3.9

Amber Pale Ale was developed on the American west coast. Ambers are made with a hop-malt balance that usually leans toward the malts, creating a sweet, sometimes cara-mel flavour. Crystal malt gives it its darker copper or amber colour. ABV 4.5-6%. Serve cool (8-12 de-grees celsius).

Big Wheel Helene Goderis: Fizzy to the max - beer made for an emperor. A divine libation. Cara Sabatini: Sweet nectar reserved for the Olympians. Especially the drunk Olympians. Very conducive to cup stack-ing.Amsterdam Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Creemore Springs Premium Lager Andrew Walt: I bet Stephen Fry would drink this. Helene Goderis: De-lightful. Aftertaste like a game of spin the bottle at the cottage. Creemore Springs Brewery ❋ Creemore, ON 5%

Millenium Buzz Beer David Stokes: A mellow, sweetly beckon-ing beer. Aberdeen Berry: As Margaret Atwood once wrote, "tingly, heady, rough-and-ready . . . tang of the wilderness." Spar-kling, but lacks complexity.Cool Beer Brewing Co. ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

3.6

3.1

3.6

Nickel Brook Headstock I.P.A. Olenka Szy: Smells like canoe wood, tastes like a good time at the cabin. David Stokes: Wowza! For cool kids and surly uncles. Lots of flavour, notes of ma-ple and mint.Better Bitters Brewing Co. ❋ Burlington, ON 7.5%

Alexander Keith’s I.P.A. Helene Goderis: Instantly bubbly on the tongue. All bite, no bark. Dan Christens-en: Easy to drink while still maintaining its flavour. Light and doesn't linger.Labatt Brewing Co. ❋ London,ON 5%

3.3

Wheat beer is one of the oldest styles still brewed today. Ingredients in wheat beers vary widely, but

most of the beer’s mash must contain wheat. Wheat beer tends to be hazy, a little spicy with little or no yeast taste and very little

aftertaste. Serve cold.

3.4

Rickard’s Original White Ale Andrew Walt: Smooth, clean, crisp. Not a thing wrong with it, though it may be a bit inoffensive in its banality. Geoff Vendeville: Light, goes down easy. Not too fizzy, smooth finish. Winey aftertaste. Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

Robson Street Hefeweizen Cara Sabatini: De-lightful smell, rich colour. The subtle tastes of melon, bubblegum and Wheaties cereal are like childhood in a pint glass. Helene Goderis: Simply delectable. Simply easy on the tongue. Straddles heavy and light, so beautifully balanced.Molson Coors Canada ❋ Toronto, ON 5%

4

We endured a series of in-tense blind tastings for your enjoyment. Judges were either affiliated with the making of the boozepaper or kidnapped from the streets of Toronto and forced to drink numerous types of beer so you wouldn’t have to (but we recommend you do). Thanks to all the par-ticipating brewers. Enjoy.