Become a Human Lie Detector

7/30/2019 Become a Human Lie Detector

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Deception DetectionMade Easy

Never Be Fooled, Conned, Duped Or Tricked ByLittle White Lies, Big Fat Lies, Or Even Half-Truths

Again!

By Ross Craft

Published by Valencia Publishing


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About The Author

Ross and his wife Alecia Sue live in Naples Florida. Before becoming a best

selling author he fought a five year long, mostly downhill, health battle

before he experienced a miraculous recovery from two different medical

death sentences.

His desire to tell others about his recovery provided him with the drive to

write his first book, Learning to Dance in The Rain (available on Amazon)

which chronicles his health battles and the mental processes he went

through to recover. He also embarked on a five year research project into

self help information to enable him to explain just how winners win in life.

His book on the subject is How Winners Win now available on Amazon as

a result of both his experience and his research.

While researching self help information he became interested in deceptiondetection which led to the publication of this book. Deception Detection

Made Easy

He is also the author ofStress Belly Fat and Adrenal Fatigue available on

Amazon.
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Table of ContentsIntroduction .................................................................................................. 5

Chapter 1 Becoming a Human Lie Detector ....................................................... 6

Chapter 2 Signs of Deception .......................................................................... 8

Chapter 3 The Direct Approach 11 Examples ................................................... 13

Chapter 4: Eleven methods to get the truth ................................................... 19

Chapter 5 Tactics for Detecting Deceit in General Conversations ........................ 25

Chapter 6 Directing the Conversation ............................................................. 31

Chapter 7 Mind Games ................................................................................. 33

Chapter 8 Advanced Techniques for Getting the Truth ...................................... 36


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Introduction

Deception Detection Made Easy.

Never Be Fooled, Conned, Duped Or Tricked By Little White Lies, Big Fat

Lies, Or Even Half-Truths Again!

Once you read this easy to understand, easy to use guide, you will be ableto instantlySpot A Lie.

Do you have the feeling that you are being lied to? The truth is: YOU ARE.

Liars are everywherebut you dont have to fall for their lies any longer. Youwill learn how to spot a lie immediately, without years of training!

You Can Now Have More Confidence In Relationships

Can you imagine the advantages you will have in relationships, when youknow the real truth all of the time? Learn the right way to ask questions andlisten for the answers to determine if you are being lied to.

Get the Whole Truth

Finally open your eyes to the lies you are being fed every day. Politicians,pastors, friends, co-workers, and just about everyone you come in contact

with has the potential to be a liar on some scale. This little book will arm youwith the tools you need to be vigilant, in-the-know, and to make the right

decisions based on the truth.

All of the liars out there are depending on the fact that you will remain in thedark. Study this little book now and never be a victim to liars again!


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Chapter 1 Becoming a Human Lie Detector

The clues to deception can be used together with great reliability in everydayscenarios and conversations. However, in the event you must know the truth

in a given situation, this chapter gives you a pattern of questions that almost

guarantees you'll know (a) if you are being lied to and (b) exactly what thetruth is when its not obvious from the lie. When utilized in order, all threeparts provide you the best chances to reach the truth.

Part One of Three - Attack-Sequence

The goal here is to ask a question that doesn't accuse the individual of

anything but refers to the individual's possible behavior. The trick is tophrase a question that sounds perfectly innocent to an innocent person, but

just like an accusation towards the guilty.

Suspicion: You're feeling that your boyfriend was cheating the eveningbefore.

Question: Anything interesting happen last night?

Suspicion: You believe a coworker told your administrative assistant thatyou've got a crush on him.

Question: Heard any good gossip recently?

Any answers for example, why do you ask? Or where did you hear that?

Indicate concern on the individual's part. He/she shouldn't be seekinginformation from you if he doesn't believe that your question is leading.

He/she also shouldn't be contemplating why you're asking the question

unless he/she thinks that you might figure out what he/she doesn't want youto know.

Part of two of three

The goal here is to introduce a situation much like what you suspect is

happening, applying specifics.

Suspicion: You suspect one of your salespeople has lied to a customer inorder to make the sale.

Question: Jim, I'm wondering if you could help me with something. It's come

to my attention that someone in the sales department has been


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misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can clear

this up?

Suspicion: A hospital administrator suspects that a doctor was drinking whileon duty.

Question: Dr. Marcus, I'd like to get you advice on something. A colleague of

mine at another hospital has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels hemay be drinking while on call. Do you have any suggestions on how she canapproach the doctor about this problem?

If he's innocent of the allegations he's more likely to offer his advice and

also be pleased you wanted his opinion. If he's guilty he'll seemuncomfortable and will definitely guarantee you that he never does anythinglike that. Regardless, this paves the way to probe further.

Part three of three

The goal here is to introduce a situation much like what you suspect ishappening, using general terms.

Suspicion: You believe a student has cheated on his exam.

Question: Don't you think it's amazing how someone can cheat on a test and

are not be aware that I was standing behind him the whole time?

Suspicion: You believe a coworker of bad-mouthing you to your boss.

Question: It's amazing all of the backstabbing that goes on around here,don't you think? And these individuals doing it think that it will not get back

to the person involved.

Suspicion: You believe your boyfriend/girlfriend could be two-timing you.

Question: It's amazing how someone could be unfaithful and expect not to

ever get caught.

A change in subject is an extreme indication of guilt. However, if he/shefinds your question intriguing and he's/shes innocent, he/she may start a

conversation about this since he's/shes unafraid to talk about the topic.


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Chapter 2 Signs of Deception

As soon as you are aware that you're being lied to, should you confront the

liar immediately? Usually not, the most effective method is to note the truth

in your mind and proceed with the conversation, trying to extract additional

information. When you address someone who has lied to you, the tone in the

conversation changes and gathering additional facts becomes difficult.

Therefore, hold off until you have got all the evidence you want then decide

if you should address the individual then or postpone to figure the best way

to use this insight to your benefit.

Observe Body Language

The individual will make little if any eye contact. An individual who is lying to

your face is going to do anything to avoid making eye contact. Physical

expression is going to be limited, along with few arm and hand movements.

What arm and hand movements exist will appear stiff, and mechanical.

Hands, arm and legs pull in toward the body; the person takes up less

space. His/her hand(s) might go up to his face or throat, especially to the

mouth. But touching his body is confined to these locations. He's also

unlikely to touch his chest using an open hand gesture. He might also touch

the nose or scratch behind the ear. If he's trying to appear casual and

relaxed about his answer, he might shrug just a little.

Emotional States - Consistency and Contradiction

The timing is off between gestures and words. If ever the facial expression

comes after the verbal statement (I am so angry at you at the moment

pause and then a angry expression) it appears false. The head moves in a

very mechanical manner without regard to emphasis, indicating a conscious

movement. Gestures don't match the verbal message, for example frowning

when saying I love you. Hands tightly clenched in addition to a statement of

delight are never in sync with one another. The timing and length of

emotional expressions will seem off. The emotion is delayed coming on,

stays longer than it ought to, in addition to fades out abruptly. Expression is

going to be limited to the mouth area once the person is feigning certain

emotions, happiness, surprise, awe, etc. rather than the whole face.

Interpersonal Interactions


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When we're wrongfully accused, a very guilty individual gets defensive. An

individual who is innocent will most likely go on the offensive. Hes not

wanting to face his her accuser and may even turn his head or shift his body

away. The individual who is lying will likely slouch; he's not likely to stand

tall with his arms out or outstretched. There's movement away from hisaccuser, possibly towards the exit. There'll be little or no physical contact

throughout his attempt to convince you. He won't point his finger at the

person he's attempting to convince. He might place physical objects (pillow,

drinking glass, etc.) between himself and the accuser to create a barrier,

with a verbal equivalent of I'd rather not discuss it, indicating deception or

covert intention.

What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content

He'll use your own words to make his point. When asked, did you cheat onme? The liar answers, no, I did not cheat on you. Also, whenever a suspect

uses a contraction It wasn't me, rather than It was not me statistically

there's a 60% chance he's truthful. He might stonewall, giving the feeling

that his mind is made up. This is usually an attempt to limit your challenges

to his position. When someone says right in the beginning that he positively

won't budge, it indicates one thing: He knows he can be persuaded. He has

to tell you this to ensure you won't ask, because he knows he'll cave in. The

confident person make use of phrases like I'm sorry, this really is basically

the best we can do. Beware of the good old Freudian slip. He depersonalizeshis answer by providing his opinion on the subject rather than answering

directly. A liar offers abstract assurances as proof of his innocence in a

specific instance. Example: Did you ever cheat on me? And you simply hear,

you know I'm against that kind of thing. I think it morally reprehensible.

He'll keep adding additional information until he is certain he has sold you on

his story. The guilty are uncomfortable with silence. He talks to fill the gap

left from the silence. He might imply a response but never state it directly.

How Something Is Said

Deceitful response to questions on beliefs and attitudes take more time to

think up. However, how fast does the remainder of the sentence continue

with the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a quick no or yes

is followed quickly by an explanation. If the individual is being deceitful the

remainder of the sentence may come slower because this individual needs

time to think up an explanation. Be aware of reactions that are all out of


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proportion towards the question. He might repeat points that he's already

made. He can also be unwilling to use words that convey attachment and

ownership or possessiveness (that car as opposed to my car). The individual

who is lying may omit pronouns and speak in a monotonous and

inexpressive voice. Whenever an individual is making a truthful statement,he emphasizes the pronoun as much as or more than the rest of the

sentence. Words might be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and

grammar might be off. In other words, his sentences will most likely be

muddled instead of emphasized. Statements sound a great deal like

questions, indicating that he's seeking reassurance. Voice, head and eyes lift

towards the end of their statement

Psychological Profile

Oftentimes we see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you are beingaccused of something, examine your accuser's veracity. Be aware of

individuals who are always saying just how corrupt the rest of the world is.

Be wary of those asking you if you believe them. They might reply with, you

do not believe me, do you? The majority of people who tell the truth expect

to be believed. Take a look at whether his focus is internal or external.

Whenever an individual is confident about what he's saying, he's more

interested in your understanding him and less keen on how he appears to

you personally. In a liar's story, he will not normally give the viewpoint of a

3rd party. For example giving a viewpoint of somebody else, my roommatewas so shocked that I would. In relating a story, a liar often omits the

negative aspects (unless the story is used to explain why he was delayed or

simply had to cancel plans). The story of a vacation, for instance, needs to

have both positive and negative elements of what happened. A liar willingly

answers your questions but asks none of his own. For example, on their first

intimate encounter, Randy asks his new girlfriend if she's ever been tested

for AIDS. She responds with Oh, yes, certainly, and proceeds a little about

annual checkups, giving blood, etc. And then nothing! If she was worried

about her health, as her answer implied, then she'd have asked him exactly

the same question. The liar is normally unaware that coming across as

truthful means both answering and asking questions.

General Indications of Deceit

Once the subject is changed, he's in a better, much better mood. The guilty

wants the subject changed; the innocent always wants a further exchange of


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information. He doesn't become offended when falsely accused. When he is

being accused the liar will remain fairly expressionless.

The liar is a bit more worried about how he's going to respond than he iswith the accusation itself. He uses such phrases as; to tell you the truth, to

be perfectly honest, and why would I lie to you? He's got a response to yourquestion down pat, for example giving specific details of an event occurring

two months ago.

He stalls by asking you to repeat the question or by responding to yourquestion with a question. Where did you hear that? Would you be a little

more specific, or perhaps repeating your question back to you, in an attempt

at sounding incredulous? For instance, did I sell you a puppy with a heartcondition? Is that what you are asking me? What he's saying soundsimplausible, for example over the past decade Ive never used a specific

racial epithet.

He offers you a preamble to his statement beginning with I don't want you

to assume that. Usually thats what he wants you to think. Wheneversomeone makes a point of informing you what they are not doing, you can

be certain it's precisely what they are doing. For example, Not to hurt yourfeelings, but He implies through a type of denial.

You hear, he's having marital problems; however it has absolutely nothing to

do with his wife's new job. What is the first thing you ask? Just what doeshis wife do? Suddenly you are in the same conversation that should have no

bearing on the facts. He makes use of humor or sarcasm to defuse yourconcerns, instead of responding seriously.

He gives you a much better solution to your request when he is not able to

provide you with what you originally asked for. Before you can accept

someone at his word that he has something better to offer, first determinewhether he has whatever you initially asked for. If he doesn't, you definitelyshouldn't believe him.

All of his facts in relation to numbers are the same or multiples of one

another. Look out when facts, figures, and information have unusualsimilarities. There's proof of involuntary responses that are anxiety based.Anxiety causes many things. His breathing might appear as a deep, audible

inhaling in an effort to control his breathing to calm himself. Swallowingbecomes difficult; he might clear his throat.

His ability to concentrate on something is often diminished, not able to focus

on what's happening. He uses an obvious fact to support a dubious action.


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For example, suppose a guard is standing watch over a restricted area. It's

his job to check ID's of people who enter. I am not sure you haveauthorization, he says to a man attempting access. I am not surprised,

answered the man, just a few individuals are aware of my clearance level.My work here is not meant to be known by everyone.

He casually says to you something which deserves more attention. He

exclaims his displeasure at the actions of some other person who has donesomething similar so that you will not suspect him. For example, if he'strying to throw you off course of his embezzlement scheme, he might openlychastise another employee for borrowing some office supplies for their use

at their home.

Your impression is that often he's a moral individual who objects tosomething as minor as stealing office supplies. Certainly he can't be

accountable for a large-scale embezzlement scheme. He might casually let

you know something that should deserve more attention. Oh incidentally, Ihave to go out of town next weekend on business. If he doesn't usually

travel for work on the weekends, you would then expect him to make a pointof how unusual the trip is.

His downplaying the trip causes it to become suspicious. When something

unusual happens and then the person doesn't draw attention to it, it meansthat they're attempting to draw attention away from it. Another tactic is

running off a long list of items in anticipation that one will continue to beunnoticed. If he lies about one thing, everything he states is questionable.

His story is rather wild that you almost don't believe it. But you do, becauseif he wished to lie, you would think that he would have come up with

something more plausible.


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Chapter 3 The Direct Approach 11 Examples

Direct Questioning Ask your questions directly

Give no advance warning of the subject you are about to talk about or of any

feelings of mistrust.

Never reveal what you may know first. Ask questions to collect information

to determine if it's in line with what you know already. How you presentyourself can greatly influence the attitude of the other individual. Three

powerful techniques for establishing building rapport:

1. Matching posture and movements; if he has one hand in his pocket, youput your hand in yours.

2. Matching speech; if he's speaking in a slow, relaxed tone, you do exactlythe same.

3. Matching keywords and phrases if he's more prone to using certain words

or phrases, use them when conversing. Ask a question you are sure thatwill generate a response similar to how you expect him to react. In other

words, if he waves his arms around regardless of what he's speaking about,you want to know this.

Try a relaxed and non-threatening posture, and square off to ensure that

you're facing one another.

Never, ever interrupt. You cannot learn anything new while you are talking.Ask open-ended questions then follow these steps:.

Step 1: Silence.

Step 2: Really, at the end of his answer respond with, really?

Step 3 Sudden Death. Follow with do you have anything you would like toget off your chest?

Direct Approach 2: Lead and Confine

Follow these steps:Step 1 Ask a leading question. For instance, you were back by two A.M. lastnight, weren't you?


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Step 2 Reverse course: You have got to be kidding! For instance, I was

hoping you did, so that you would've gotten it out of your system. Please tellme that you have done it, so I see that it's over and done with.

Step 3 This is not going to work. For instance, I imagined you were one who

had a sense of adventure. One who knows how to live a little.

Direct Approach 3: Time Line Distortion

Scenario: You suspect several employees in your store of stealing money

Step 1: Setting the scene. Allow the conversation turn casually to stealing

and say, Oh, I knew from the very beginning what was occurring.

Step 2: It's really no big issue. You had to know I knew. How else do you

really think you could have gotten away with it for so long? I hope you don't

think I'm a complete idiot.

Step 3: I appreciate what you have done. I understand that you were justgoing along with it because you were afraid of what the others would do. Its

really okay. I know youre not that type of person.

Direct Approach 4: Direct Assumption / Shot in the Dark

Step1: Set the scene. Be somewhat curt and standoffish, as though

something heavy-duty is troubling you. This will cause his mind to race tofigure out ways to explain the error of his ways. Im hurt. Say, Ive just

found something out and Im really hurt [shocked/surprised]. I know youregonna lie to me and then try to deny it, however I simply wanted you to be

aware that I know. You establish that (a) hes guilty of something and (b)

you know what it is.

Step 2: Hold your ground. Say, I think we both know what Im referring to.We must clear the air, and we can begin by your talking.

Step 3: Keep holding your ground. Repeat phrases including Im sure it will

come to you and the longer I wait, the madder Im getting.

Step 4: Apply social pressure. We were all discussing it. It's commonknowledge. Now he starts to get curious about who knows and exactly how

they found out. The moment he attempts to find out, youll know hes guilty.

Direct Approach 5: The Missing Link


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Scenario: You feel your mother-in-law might have hired a privateinvestigator to follow you around.

Step 1: List the facts, tell her something you know to be true. I am aware

youre not too fond of me, and you also objected to the wedding, howeverthis time youve gone too far.

Step 2: State your assumption. I do know all about the investigator. Whydid you feel that was necessary?

Step 3: The magic phrase, you know what, Im too upset to discuss this

now. The guilty person will honor your request because she wont wish toanger you further. An innocent person would be mad at you for accusing herof something which she hasnt done and definitely will wish to discuss it now.

Direct Approach 6: Who, Me?

Step 1: Setting the scene. He suspects that his ex-girlfriend broke into hishouse. He phoned to let her know in a really non-accusatory manner in

which there had been a break-in and a few items were missing.

The following form of conversation would ensue:

Winston: The authorities will want to speak to everyone who had access tothe house. Because you still have a key, theyre going to wish to speak with

you. Just routine stuff, Im sure. Obviously, youre not a suspect.

Ex-Girlfriend: But I dont know anything about it.

Winston: Oh, I know. Just policy, I guess. Anyway, one of my neighbors saidthat she got a partial license-plate number on a car that was by my house

that day.

Ex-Girlfriend: (After a long pause) Well, I had been driving around your areathat day. I stopped by to see if you were home. However when you werent,

I just left.

Winston: Oh, really? Well, they did a fingerprint test too. That ought to show

something.

Ex-Girlfriend: What test?

Winston: Oh, they dusted for prints and


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Step 2: Inform non-accusatorily. Casually educate your suspect on the

situation.

Step 3: Introduce evidence that will be rebutted. While you introduce theevidence, look to see if all of your statements are met by explanations from

her as to just how the evidence might be misunderstood.

For instance in another senario, you suspect that a co-worker had shreddedsome of your files. You will first set the stage by allowing him know that youcant find some important files. Then say, well, its a good thing mysecretary noticed someone by the shredder the other day. She said she

recognized his face but didnt know his name. An innocent person will not

feel the need to explain in an effort to avert the possibility that he could bewrongly accused.

Step 4: Continue. Continue with more facts that the individual can attempt

to explain away. But in actuality, he begins to speak about why thecircumstance might look that way, you realize you have him.

Direct Approach 7: Outrageous Accusations

Step 1: Accuse him of everything. In a very fed-up manner, accuse him of

doing every imaginable dishonest and disloyal act.

Step 2: Introduce the suspicion. Now introduce the single thing you sense

he really has done, and in an effort to clear himself of the other charges, he

will offer a reason for his one slip-up. Say, after all, its not like you juststole a file that would be fine. But all these other things are unspeakable. Heresponds, No, I just stole that one file because of the pressure to get the job

done, but I would never sell trade secrets! The only way to prove hisinnocence to all of your unreasonable accusations would be to explain why

he did what you really suspect him of doing.

Step 3: Step in closer. This increases anxiety in the guilty. He feels hesbeing closed in on.

Direct Approach 8: Is There a Reason?

Step 1: Introduce an undeniable fact. For instance, if you would like to knowif your secretary went out last night when she said she was sick, I drove by

your house on the way home. Is there a reason your vehicle wasnt in thedriveway? Had she been home sick, she'd simply explain how you're wrongthe vehicle was in fact in the driveway.


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Step 2: One more shot. Oh, thats odd, I called your house and I got your

machine. If shes guilty she will search for any way for making her story fityour facts.

Step 3: Stare. Staring makes a person that is on the defensive feel closed

in; your glare is infringing on her personal space, inducing a mentalclaustrophobia. Lock eyes with her and ask again.

Direct Approach 9: Third-Party Confirmation

The Situation: You think one of your employees has another individualpunch out on the time clock for him.

Step 1: Accuse outright. After gaining assistance from a friend or coworker,

you have this individual make the accusation for you. For instance, Mel, I

was speaking with Cindy, and she told me shes getting pretty tired of yourhaving someone else punch out for you so you can leave work early. At thispoint Mel is worried just with Cindys disapproval of his actions. Your friend

is thoroughly believable because we rarely think to question the sort ofthird-party setup.

Step 2: Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Its well known, but I think I

know how you could smooth things over with her. See whether he takes the

bait. An individual whos innocent wouldn't be thinking about smoothingthings over with another individual for something which he hasnt done.

Step 3: Last call. Okay. But are you sure? At this stage, any hesitation islikely to be indication of guilt because hes quickly attempting to weight hisoptions.

Direct Approach 10: The Chain Reaction

Sample situation: You think several employees in your store of stealingmoney

Step 1: Setting the scene. In a one-on-one meeting with the staff member,

inform them that youre in search of an individual to manage a new internaltheft program for the whole company.

Step 2: The irony is were trying to find an individual who knows how its

done. Now dont worry, youre not getting in trouble. As a matter of factweve been aware of it for some time. We're more interested in seeing howefficient you are. Rather impressive. Anyway, we're feeling that because you


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understand how its done, youll know how to prevent it. Granted, its pretty

unusual, however this is an unusual instance.

Step 3: I told them so. You understand, I told them that you might be tooafraid to have an open discussion concerning this. They were wrong, I was

right. Search for hesitation on his part. If hes guilty, he will be weighing hisoptions. This requires time. An innocent person has nothing to consider.

Only the guilty have the choice of confessing or not.

Direct Approach 11: Condemn or Concern

Step1: The situation - Im just informing you. The key with this sequence is

not to accuse, just to inform. Lets say that youre working in the customerservice department of a computer store. A customer returns a non-working

printer for an exchange, claiming which he purchased it just a few days

before. He has the all-important receipt and the printer is packed neatly inthe original box. Upon inspecting the contents you find that a necessary,expensive, and easily removable piece of the device is missing, an obvious

indication of why the device was not working properly. Listed here are twopossible responses you could get after informing the customer of your

discovery.

Response 1: I didnt take it out. Thats how it was when I bought it.

(Defensive)

Response 2: What, you sold me a printer that has a missing part? I wasted a

couple of hours trying to get that thing to work. (Offensive)The individual who utters Response 2 has every right to be annoyed; itnever crosses his mind that hes being accused of anything. The individual

who gives Response 1 knows he never even attempted to get the printer tooperate because he took the part out. It doesnt occur to him to become

angry. He assumes that hes being accused of taking out the part andbecome defensive once you inform him the part is missing.


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Chapter 4: Eleven methods to get the truth

How to Get the Truth without Beating It out Of them to convey honesty andtruthfulness in your message, utilize the following techniques:

Look the individual directly in the eyes.

Use hand movements to stress your message.

Use animated gestures which are fluid and consistent with the conversation.

Stand or sit upright no slouching.

Dont begin with any statements with, to tell you the truth, or to be perfectly

honest with you.

Face the individual straight on. Dont back away. Liars require an incentiveto confess. The payoff for confessing must be immediate, clear, specific, andcompelling.

You cant just tell an individual what hell gain by being truthful or lose by

continuing to lie; you must make it real for him so real, the fact is that, thathe can feel, taste, touch, see, and hear it. Make it his reality. Allow him to

experience fully the pleasure of being honest and the pain of continuing thelie.

Involve as many of the senses as you can, particularly visual, auditory, and

kinesthetic. Create images for the person to see, sounds for him to hear,and sensations that he can almost feel. You would like to make this

experience as real as feasible. First state the positives, then state the

negatives, and then present the option.

Method 1: If you think thats bad, wait until you hear this!

This method is effective simply because it forces the liar into thinkingemotionally as opposed to logically. It alleviates his guilt by making him feel

that hes not alone, and it throws him off by having a little anger and/orcuriosity. Plus he thinks that you and he are exchanging information, ratherthan his providing you something for nothing.

Sample question formation: The reason Im asking you these questions is

this: Ive done things that Im less than proud of, so. I can see why you mayhave.


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In a way Im almost relieved. Now I dont feel so bad. At this stage he willask you to get more specific about your actions. But insist that he explain to

you first. Simply wait and hell come clean.

Method 2: It Was An Accident. Really!

This really is a great strategy because doing so makes him feel that it will be

the best thing to have you know precisely what happened. He did somethingwrong, true, but that's no longer your concern. You shift the main objective

of your concern to his intentions, not his actions.

This will make it easier for him to confess to his behavior and make it okaywith the explanation that it was unintentional. He feels that you really care

about his motivation. To paraphrase, you let him know that the source of

your concern is not what hes done, but why hes done it.

Sample question: I can comprehend that maybe you didnt plan on its

happening. Things just got out of hand and you acted without thinking. Imfine with that an accident, right? But if you did this deliberately, I dont

believe I could ever forgive you. You need to let me know that you didnt doit intentionally. Please.

Method 3: The Boomerang

This method really throws a psychological curveball. In this particularexample you tell him that he did something good, not bad. Hes completely

thrown off by this. For instance, you would like to see if your interviewee haslied on his resume.

Sample question: As we both know, everybody pads his resumes lightly. Mepersonally, I think it shows guts. It informs me that the person isnt afraid to

take on new responsibilities. Which parts were you most creative with onthis resume?

Method 4: Truth or Consequences

With this method you force your antagonist to be of assistance or you both

wind up with nothing. This is the complete opposite of the boomerang. Here

the individual has nothing unless he cooperates with you. Since you don'thave anything anyway (the truth), its a good tradeoff for you. Lets say you

suspect that your housekeeper has stolen from you.


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Sample question: Id rather hear it from you first. I can live with what you

did, what happened, most definitely not with your lying to me concerningthis. If you dont explain it to me, then its over. If you tell me the truth,

things can go back to the way they use to be. However, if you dont, thenwe have zero chance here, and youll have absolutely nothing.

Method 5: Speak now or forever hold your peace

Individuals place a premium on that which is scarce. In other words, rareequals good. You could dramatically boost your leverage by conveying that

this is the only time that you'll discuss this.

Let him know that(a) this is his last chance hell have for explaining himself, and

(b) you could get what you require from someone else.

Try increasing the rate of your speech also. The faster you speak, theshorter period he has to process the content, and it conveys as stronger

sense of urgency. Provide a deadline with a penalty for not meeting it.Deadlines force action.

If the guilty party thinks that he can always come clean, then he will take a

wait-and-see approach before tipping his hand. Let the person know that

you are aware and have evidence of his action. And admitting his sins nowwill give him the chance to explain his side.

Sample question: I want to hear it from you now. After tomorrow, anythingyou say wont make any difference for me. I am aware of whathappened/what you did. I was hoping I'd personally hear it from you first. It

would mean a great deal to me to listen to your side of it. I know there aretwo sides to every story, and before I decide how to proceed, I would like to

hear yours.

Hearing this provides him the feeling he still has a chance if he confesses. Infact, what really happened cant be as bad as what you heard. Confessing

this is a method of cutting his losses.

Method 6: Reverse Course

You convey to him what happened or what he did was a good thing insofar

as it permits you and him to develop a much better relationship personal orprofessional. You give him a chance to explain why he took that choice. Youalso blame yourself.


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Sample question: I understand the reason why you would have done that.

Clearly you wouldnt have unless you had a valid reason. You were probablytreated badly or something like that was lacking. What can I do to help you

to ensure that it doesnt happen again?

Keep interjecting the following phrases: I take full responsibility for youractions. Lets band together to see how we can avoid this from happening

again. I understand completely. You were right to do what you did.

Method 7: I Hate To Do This, but You Leave Me No Choice

Here is the only strategy that involves threat. You allow him to become

mindful that there are going to be greater ramifications and repercussionsthan merely lying to you issues that he never thought about. You rely upon

his imagination to set the terms of the damage that you can inflict. His mind

will race through every possible scenario as his own fears turn against him.

Sample question example I: I didnt want to have to do this however, you

leave me no choice. This will likely drive him to reply: Do what at this stagehes waiting to find out what the tradeoff is going to be. But don't commit

yourself to an action. Allow him to create in his own mind scenarios whatyou'll do unless he confesses.

Sample question example II: You know what I can do, and Ill take action. Ifyou dont want to tell me now, dont. Ill simply do what I have to do.

Following this statement, look closely at his response. If he concentrates on

what you will really do to him, the odds lean more toward guilty. However, ifhe reasserts that hes done nothing, he may in fact be innocent of youraccusation. The guilty person has to know the penalty to figure out if it is

sensible for him to keep to his story.

Method 8: I guess youre Not Allowed

Never underestimate the power of appealing to a persons ego. Sometimes

you really want to inflate it, and others times you need to attack it. This

method is for attacking. Its truly saddening how fragile some peoples egos

are.

Sample question: I believe I know what exactly it is youre not allowed to

tell me. Another individual is pulling the strings and youll get in trouble. Youwould tell me the simple truth if you could, but you dont have the power to

do so.


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Method 9: Higher Authority

So long as the individual believes that you're on his side, hell take the bait.All you need to do is tell him that anything hes lied about can now be

settled within seconds. However, if anyone else finds out about it later, its

far too late. Lets say that you'd like to know if your administrative assistantleaves early when youre out of the office.

Sample question: The vice president from corporate is arriving today. Hesinquired about your hours, so Im going to tell him that you come in early on

the days that you leave early. Do you remember what days last month youfinished up early and took off? This really is disarming, and youre not yelling

at her or demanding answers. Youre on her side, and youre going to cometogether to smooth things over.

Method 10: The Great Unknown

You can acquire maximum leverage by explaining how, the ramifications ofhis deceit is going to be something which the suspect hasn't ever known

before. Whether or not he believes that you're limited in what you can do tohim plus what the penalty will be, the degree of the penalty can be

manipulated in two major ways to cause it to appear far more severe: timeand impact.

Time: Give no indication of when the penalty will occur. When things happenunexpectedly, the degree of anguish is more potent.

Impact: Convey that his entire life will probably be disrupted and drastically

altered for the worse. He must see that this event isn't isolated and willinstead have a ripple effect. When bad things happen we are often

comforted in understanding that it will soon be over and the remainder ofour life will stay intact and unaffected. However if these things are notassured, we become increasingly fearful and concerned.

Method 11: I Couldnt Care Less

A primary law governing human nature is that all of us have a need to feelsignificant. Nobody wants to be regarded as unimportant, or feel like hisideas and thinking are irrelevant.

Eliminate a persons belief that he has value and hell do just about anything

to reassert his feeling of importance. Your apathy toward the matter willunnerve him immensely. He will start to crave recognition and acceptance,


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of all sorts. He has to know you care what the results are, and if discussing

his misdeeds is the only way he can find out, he will.

Sample question: I know and I just dont care. This is simply not for me. Ivegot other things to take into consideration. Maybe well talk another time.

You do what you have to do, thats fine with me. To be more efficient, stareat him. When you stare at someone he often feels less significant and will

look to reassert his value.


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Chapter 5 Tactics for Detecting Deceit in General

Conversations

Method 1: Ask a question

Throughout the conversation simply ask general, clear questions associatedwith your suspicion. This makes the individual you are questioning to recall

information. If hes lying, hell require sometime to answer because he firsthas to check his response mentally to be sure it is sensible. Made-up stories

don't have details because they never happened!

Ask questions that will give you a goal, not a subjective response. Forexample, if you think a staff member was home when he said he'd be away

on vacation, dont ask him how he enjoyed the weather in Florida, butinstead ask did you rent a vehicle? Once he answers yes to any question,

ask for more detail. If hes lying, hell try to keep the main points straight

and will take his time answering further questions.

Method 2: Add a fact that is false

Include a fact and ask the individual to comment on it. This fact is one which

youve constructed, but one that sounds perfectly reasonable. For instance,if you had to know if someone really indeed went on a safari to Africa, you

point out that your uncle who works as a customs officer for the Nairobiairport told you that anyone going to Africa was given special instructions

about how to avoid malaria.

As soon as he validates your claim in an attempt to back up his assertionthat he has gone to Africa, you know that his story is untrue. Otherwise he

would simply say that he doesnt know what your uncle is talking about.

This is important: Your statement must be untrue It must sound reasonable.

Your assertion must be something that would directly affect the individual,so he would have firsthand knowledge of this fact.

Method 3: Ask for proof

In this sequence you take exactly what the person says and ask for proof,but in a really non-threatening manner. For instance, in the case of the

individual that claimed he had gone on safari, you might tell him that youwould love to see pictures of the trip. If he offers up a reason why you cant

see the pictures, then this should arouse some suspicion.


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Method 4: Expand-a-Fact

Make use of this clue to find out how far someone is willing to go to get whathe wants. All you do is expand on an indisputable fact that he has already

offered. If he just goes on without correcting you, you already know that he

may be lying about what hes said so far and/or is willing to lie to get you tosee his point. For instance, your assistant asks you for the rest of the day offbecause hes not feeling well. You might say, oh, certainly, if youve got a

fever and a bad headache, go ahead and take off. He never claimed to havethese symptoms. You simply expanded on her statement.

Other situations

Method 1: Third-Party Protection

This method is utilized if someone is hesitant to tell you something whichinvolves another individual. You need to entice his ego and allow him to

forget that hes telling tales out of school. The conversation needs to bepositive. The other individual must feel as though hes doing a good thing by

answering your question.

Situation A: Your attorney is letting you know about a case that a fellowattorney messed up on. Simply asking, what, did he do wrong, would most

likely get you nowhere. However, by turning it around you create an

incentive for him to tell you.

Ask, had you handled the case, what would you have done differently?

Situation B: While talking with Brad, one of your sales representatives, youwant to find out why Susans sales figures are low. But merely asking him

why shes not doing well might prove fruitless.

Ask, what areas do you believe Susan can improve in?

Method 2: The Power Play

Sometimes the individual hesitant to tell the truth is in a position of power.In these situations its usually inappropriate and futile to get argumentative.

In such cases you want to bring the conversation to a personal level.

Situation: Youre trying to sell to a buyer who doesnt want to buy and is not

giving you a good reason that you truly believe. Your objective is going to beto reach the real objection.


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I do this for a living. My family depends on me to support them. Clearly wehave a fine product and youre a reasonable man. Would you mind telling me

what I did to offend you? Now your buyer is caught off guard and willundoubtedly follow with Oh, you didnt offend me. Its simply that?

Method 3: Hurt Feelings

Someone is lying to you in order to safeguard your feeling perhaps one ofthose little white lies. A bit of guilt makes the other person, re-evaluate hisapproach.

Situation: You are feeling that the simple truth is being withheld from youfor your own benefit. I know you dont want to offend me, but youre hurtingme more by not being perfectly honest. If you dont tell me, no one else will.

If I cant depend on you for this, I dont really know what I'd do.

Method 4: Its A Matter of Opinion

The examples below are an excellent means for detecting deceit in apersons opinion.

Situation: Youre unsure if your boss really likes your idea for a new

advertising campaign, despite the fact that she says she does. Do you likethe concept for my new idea? Sure. Its very original. Well, what would it

take for you to love the concept?

Method 5: I Dont Know

This response can stall a conversation and then leave you looking for

answers. Sometimes Itsjust simpler to say, I dont know, which is oftenwhy we say it in the first place. In any event, when you hear I dont know,try some of the following responses:

1. Okay, then why dont you tell me how youve come to think the wayyou do?

2. I know you dont know, but if you were to guess, what do you think itmight be?

3. What emotion best describes what youre thinking right now?4. What one word comes closest to describing what youre thinking?


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In all these responses, youre taking the pressure off. You acknowledge thepersons difficulty in answering. Afterward you appear to be asking her to

provide something else, when in reality your new question is aimed atgetting your initial question answered.

Method 6: Im Simply Embarrassed

The individual may lie to you out of embarrassment. The most commontactics dont work here because the person probably isnt obligated to tellyou and most likely has nothing to gain by doing so. Therefore you need to

create a reason for telling the truth in an environment that makes him feel

at ease.Situation: You believe the new intern mixed up two piles of papers andshredded the documents that were meant to be copied. Nelson, if youre the

one who did this, its all right. I remember when I first started here. What

Im about to say is between us, okay? Good. One time I made copies of aconfidential memo instead of the lunch menu and placed a copy in each

persons mailbox.

This instantly puts the other individual at ease. It demonstrates you trusthim, and he also feels obligated share with you something hes done that he

feels uncomfortable with.

Method 7: Divide and Conquer

This is a situation where there are two or more people from whom you canget the truth.

Situation: A number of your sorority sisters pulled a practical joke and you

want to figure out who is responsible. Jennifer, who did this, is not

important. I dont even care. What's important is our friendship. I would liketo know that I can trust you. I think I can, however I need for you to speakhonestly with me. Its not that Im so worried about who did it only that youare truthful with me regarding it. If you dont get anywhere with her, go to

another person with the exact same speech.

Method 8: Professional Reliance

When dealing with professionals: Always, whenever possible, get a secondopinion. Its simple to do and can save you a lot of heartache.

Ensure that the individual is licensed, insured, and registered to do the

actual work.


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Have your agreement drawn up in writing. Oral contracts arent worth theeffort.

Ask for referrals or testimonials. If he balks at any one of these points, you

may need to take your business elsewhere.

Finally, the following strategy should provide you with an accurateunderstanding of the persons intentions. They key is to ask for the oppositeof what you really want.

Situation: Lets say that your travel agent suggests the Five-Day Cruise

Getaway vacation package for you. Youre hoping to really let loose; you'dlike a trip that's nonstop fun, but youre not sure if shes pushing thispackage for the commission or if she really believes that its a good deal.

The brochure looks great, Sandy. I just want to ensure that isn't one ofthose party boats. Im looking for some rest and relaxation. Is it that sort of

trip? By asking your question using this method, you will know the intentionsof your travel agent and the answer to your question. If she answers yes,

then you'll know the cruise isnt for you or she's lying to get your business.

Method 9. I Dont Know and I Dont Care

Few things are more frustrating than having to deal with an individual whojust doesnt give a damn. Why, because you dont possess a whole lot to

work with. Youve got zero leverage. Hes got nothing at risk, so youve gotlittle bargaining power. You merely have to change the equation so hes got

something on the line.

Situation: You're taking your vehicle to a mechanic and he tells you it will be

fixed by Friday. However you just have a feeling that somethings going tocome up and it'll be sitting in his garage all weekend. Okay, Joe. Tomorrowsfine. Just so you understand, my wife is pregnant and shes due any day.Thats our only car, so if you can foresee any reason why it wouldn't be

ready by Friday, youve need to let me know now.

Method 10. Most people who lie confide in at least one other person.

Its vital that you let this person think that you already know the truth andthen add your emotional reaction to it.

For instance, some general statements that might be said to the person,

whom you believe knows the truth:


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1.) Sympathy: I cant believe what Sam did. I'm truly sorry. If theresanything I can do for you or whatever, please let me know, okay?

2.) Humor: Mary, is Joe a magnet for odd things or what? He just told me

and I still cant believe it.


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Chapter 6 Directing the Conversation

It is possible to steer a conversation in any direction that you choose. Youcan do this very efficiently with just a few well chosen words. After he

produces a statement, you can utilize the following key words to direct the

flow of information in any way you choose. They may be utilized to extractinformation from any conversation.

Ask for the Meaning: Saying this word after he speaks directs his thinkingand the conversation toward the bigger picture, providing you with a better

look at his overall position. He will provide the reason behind the position.

And this response gives you more lateral information. You are able to gatheradditional facts.

This response makes him get more specific, giving you the specifics of hisposition.

Now this response makes him translate his position into a specific action. He

will begin telling you precisely what he means and how it relates to you.Getting specific sometimes youll get an answer, but it doesnt do you much

good.

Here are some ways of narrowing it down.1. In response, to an opinion or beliefexpressed as, I dont think the

meeting went exceptionally well. You ask compared with what or howpoorly did it go?

2. In response to a reluctance to commit or when hd says, I dont know if I

could. You ask, what specifically, prevents you, or what would have to

happen for you to be able to, or what would change if you did let the truthbe told? These simple words are more effective than any others.

1.) Use the word because: Were manufactured to accept an explanation as

valid if it follows this word.

2.) Use the word lets: This word generates group atmosphere and initiatesa bandwagon effect; its positive and creates action.

3.) Use the word try: This little word is a very powerful motivator because ithas a, whats the harm, mentality.


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For instance, lets give it a try because if it doesnt work we could always go

back to the way it was. Clearly you havent introduced any reason for theperson to take action, yet it appears to make sense just the same.

Dont accuse someone as by saying, why did you take five dollars from petty

cash? If you wish to know if he took the money, simply say, the money thatwe take from petty cash? Lets try to keep it less than ten dollars at any

given time, because it works out better that way.

Taking Control

If in a situation where you're not able to speak because the person keeps

talking or interrupting, apply some zingers such as these. They play on twosusceptible angles of human nature ego and curiosity.1.) Youre a smart person; let me ask you a question.

2.) I know that you would want me to ask you this.

3.) Youre the only person who will know the answer to this.4.) I hope this news doesnt upset you.

5.) Along those lines its an easy task to change conversation when youbegin with the others last thoughts.


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Chapter 7 Mind Games

A Strong Defense: Avoiding the Lie

The optimum time to deal with a lie is before it becomes one. The following

is a technique for cutting a suspicion off at the pass before it turns intodeception.

Method 1: Here is the method you use when you want the truth as itpertains to a persons previous behavior.

A possible situation: a parent suspects that her twelve-year-old son is

smoking cigarettes.

Approach: I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around. Im not

happy with that, however I just want you to promise me that you wontconsume alcohol until youre twenty-one.

This really is undoubtedly the finest approach because it works on many

levels.First, it takes a forward assumptive stance the parent knows everything

about the smoking.

Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases sneaking around and you know Imnot happy with that, set the tone for honesty.

Your son or daughter hears two things that he knows to be true: He was

sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about his smoking. He istherefore willing to accept at face value what follows.

Third, the mom gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise not todrink and hes home free. Theres no threat or punishment, just honest

statements followed by an offer which he believes to be true also.

The rules to bear in mind for this procedure are as follows:Assume your suspicion as fact State at least two truisms (facts that you both

know to be true) switch the main focus from a threat to a request. Therequest ought to be simple for him to accept and sound reasonable.

Method 2: This method is utilized whenever you want the reality as it relatesto a new decision. It's a simple but highly effective strategy to avoidbecoming deceived.


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Oftentimes someone wants to tell us the truth, but its simpler to tell a lie

instead. The individual knows the response you want to hear and will hand itto you whether he believes it or not. However, if he doesnt understand what

you want, then he wont be able to deceive you.

Read the following examples and see how well the second phrasing masksyour true question.

Would you like me to cook for you tonight? Do you feel like eating in or outtonight?

Im thinking of asking Rhonda out. What do you think of her? What do you

think of Rhonda?

Know Thy Enemy: Knowing the Liar and His Intentions

The following example illustrates a process that is becoming extremelypopular in employee screening tests. The questions listed here are asked the

potential employee to find out if he is an honest person.

If you really wanted the job, how would you answer these questions?Have you ever stolen anything in your life? Have you ever run a red light?

Do you have a friend who has ever shoplifted?

Many of us would have to answer yes to most of these questions. And that isprecisely the answer a potential employee is looking for. Why? Simply

because the honest answer is yes for many of us. The employers task isfinding those people who are honest about it.

Stealing a pack of gum when you were twelve years old doesnt make you a

bad person or an undesirable employee.

Lets say that Marthas teenage son, who has been out of the home andliving on the streets over the past two years, wants to come home. Realizingthat her son is hooked on cocaine, she is concerned with whether he can

actually clean up his act.

She could tell him that he can move back in provided that he enrolls in adrug rehabilitation program. He will probably agree to this whether he

intends to do it or not. Instead, she tells her son that he can move back in ifhe quits cold turkey never doing another drug no matter what. Her sons

answer can tell you his dedication to getting well, which is the real concern.


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Obviously her son can hardly eradicate his addiction instantly. So if he

implies that he can, she is aware that hes lying about his intention to getwell. However, if he says that he cant but will make strides toward getting

better, she will know that he is sincere in his quest for wellness.


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Chapter 8 Advanced Techniques for Getting the Truth

Method 1 Embedded Commands: This method really is easy and has onlytwo criteria.

First, for optimum effectiveness the command should start with an actionverb, because youre telling the brain to do something.

Second, the entire command should be separated from the rest of thesentence using what is called an analog marker. You set the command

portion off by one of the following:

1.) Lower or raise the volume of your voice slightly while speaking thecommand.

2.) Insert a brief pause right before and then right after the command. Forinstance, sometimes we just become fascinated with what were reading.

3. Gesturing with your hand while you are the giving the command

momentarily distracts the conscious mind, and the embedded statement isreceived by the unconscious mind as a command.

Method 2 Unconscious Creations

You give a suggestion that creates a perceivable action so you can observe

the signs of deceit without continuing to question him.

Watch for the behaviors that you embed in the sentences. They will usuallyoccur at some point during your conversation.

Im not saying that you should stiffen up your body if youre lying. I dontknow if youre lying. Unless you feel like blinking your eyes fast if you are. If

you like what youre reading you may smile now

Method 3 Disassociation

Its the old person who would lie versus the new person who would neverhurt you. In your conversation, continue to repeat phrases like the ones

below. Make sure that they contrast the old him and the new him.

Perhaps the old you was capable of this. But I know you would never do thatnow. Youre a different person than you used to be. Im sure that youre

even more upset with the old you than I am. But youre not that personanymore.


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Youre only responsible for who you are today. You are someone who ishonest and trustworthy.

Method 4 Eye-Accessing Cues

This technique works on the following principle. When a person thinks, he

accesses different parts of his brain depending upon the information that isbeing accessed.

This process can be observed watching the eyes. For right handed people,

visual memories are accessed by the eyes going up and to the left. For a

left-handed person, its the reverse: the eyes go up and to the right. When aright-handed person seeks to create an image or fact, his eyes go up and toright. And the reverse is true for the left-handed person.

You can use this technique in any conversation to determine if the person iscreating or recalling information. Simply watch his eyes and youll know

whether hes recalling an event thats already occurred or making up a storyabout something that has never happened.

Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases

These conversation stoppers use phrases that are mild trance inducers. Theycause the listener to zone out temporarily while his brain tries to process the

information.

They give you some time to collect your thoughts while others lose theirtrain of thought.

1.) Why are you asking me what you dont know for sure?2.) Do you really believe what you thought you knew?

3.) If you expected me to believe that, you wouldnt have said it.4.) Do you believe that you knew what you thought?

5.) Why would you believe something thats not true?6.) Why are you agreeing with what you already know?

7.) Are you unaware of what you forgot?

See For Yourself

The power of expectation and suggestion can be used with tremendousresults.


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The key to using this technique is to implant an artificial suggestion and let it

manifest inside the persons mind. This technique may induce a temporarystate of mild paranoia, especially if two or more people make the same

suggestion.

Situation: You think that a coworker has been stealing office supplies.Samantha, have you noticed that people seem to be looking at you a little

funny? You can rest assured Samantha will notice everyone looking at her,and it will consume her attention until she stops.

The End

Become a Human Lie Detector

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