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More Conditioned, More Defined,B e a u t i f u l L a s h e s

Easy Breezy Beautiful

Feel Like A Woman

beautiful enough. An exploration of makeup, beauty & femininity.

2First and Only Edition All Rights Reserved Hannah Eshleman

Printed in Philadelphia, PA

3Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

4This book features portraits of women with half their face made up and half, au naturale. Working on this project sometimes felt like nothing more than a lot of rejection. Many women were not interested at all in allowing me to photograph them. Its understandable, I suppose. The process was fairly intimate. I was let into bedrooms and bathrooms, watching people put on makeup. Some of them, I didnt know very well at all but there I was, watching their morning routine. Its vulnerable on various levels--looking straight into the lens of a camera with no makeup on one half of your face, no smiling, no way to hide. This book is dedicated to the few brave enough to let me barge into a private space and put them in a book--Chaucee, Kelly, Alene, Serena, Rachel and Katie.

5T a b l e o f C o n t e n t s Rachel Brady Alene Brunkhurst

Chaucee StillmanKatie Schmitt

Serena Niesley Kelly MaillieHannah Eshleman

8-910-11

12-1314-15

16-1718-19

20-21

There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. -Edgar Allen Poe

Arguements In Favor of & Against Makeup 22-25

Introduction 6-7

6Americans spend $7 billion a year on cosmetics.

In 2011, 11.7 million cosmetic surgical procedures were performed in the United States, representing a 500% increase in the number of overall cosmetic procedures in the past ten years.

In the United States, 10 million women suffer from an eating disorder.

Nearly 80% of women are reported to be dissatisfied with their appearance.

Obsessed with beauty

Statistics found in a study by the YWCA entitled The Consequences of Americas Beauty Obsession on Women & Girls

7 Beauty can be consoling, disturbing, sacred, profane; it can be exhilarating, appealing, inspiring, chilling. It can affect us in an unlimited variety of ways. Yet it is never viewed with indifference: beauty demands to be noticed; it speaks to us directly like the voice of an intimate friend. If there are people who are indifferent to beauty, then it is surely because they do not perceive it. - Roger Scruton, philospher (specializing in aesthetics) 1944-present

8Rachel Brady

My relationship with makeup has changed a lot since Ive grown. I started wearing makeup when I was 13, I think. I only wore light eye shadow. When I started wearing eyeliner, I went to town because I thought it made me look sexier...what every 14-year-old boy wants. My mom had a fit and we fought a lot about it. In high school, I wore normal makeup (not overly heavy) but I wore it everyday and never wanted to be without it. My first boyfriend really liked it when I wouldnt wear makeup and it was probably the first time I felt really free without it. He didnt last but since then, Ive found a lot of freedom in having a clean face and wearing makeup for mostly special nights out. Thats my experience with it. It feels nice without makeup and I think women should be encouraged to be clean and natural more often.

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Alene Brunkhurst

I think I started experimenting with makeup as early as third grade. I definitely remember starting with bright blue eye shadow and sharing it with my girl friends at school in the bathroom. We felt prettier, cooler, and more sophisticated when we had (awfully blue) eye shadow on. I think one of the mothers, trying to guard her daughters innocence, confronted me about sharing it with her. Thats a good mom, if you ask me. In retrospect, Im pretty sure my mom wasnt aware I wore it, because I took it off before I came home. From then on, the idea of altering my appearance was quite enticing, and I usually gave into the urge. At this point, I dont leave the house without make up unless my skin isnt breaking out, which is very rare. I like experimenting with colors, especially with my eyes. Deep down, I wish I could face people without it, but I rarely do. Its a bittersweet relationship.

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Katie Schmitt

I have grown up around makeup. My mother never really leaves the house without it on. She always encouraged makeup as well as taking care of our skin. She always said to start young! I always wear makeup, but just minimally. Sometimes people think I dont even wear it. The least amount Ill put on if Im feeling lazy is mascara and foundation. The most is adding eyeliner and eyeshadow to that. Im not a big blush girl and I love lipstick if the setting or outfit is right. I never like looking too made up. I guess Im self conscious of that, not for any particular reason though. Its just not me. Every girl likes to get dolled up every once and a while. I started wearing make up in middle school, I think. I didnt wear much though...just enough to bring out my features. I think my mom did a good job of making me feel like it was my choice. She never rushed me into it or banned it from me either.

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Chaucee Stillman

I started wearing makeup probably around the 6th or 7th grade. I was pink sparkle eyeshadow. It made me feel special and unique. Today I wear make-up because Im super blonde and you cant see my eyebrows or eyelashes if I leave them natural. I like having more distinct feature so thats why I color in my eyebrows and use mascara. I also have pretty transparent skin and foundation and toner help even that out a bit. I use skin makeup since I cant really tan. I wish I didnt have to wear makeup. I know some girls who dont and they are still beautiful. Maybe I wouldnt have had to if I didnt start so young, but now I wouldnt feel like myself if I stopped wearing it all together. I would recognize my own natural self and thats kind of weird and scary...so I wear it.

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Serena Niesley I started wearing makeup in middle school, I think...or early high school. I feel a bit of a need to rebel in my relationship with makeup/societal standards of beauty in general. I think beauty and the desire to feel beautiful is innate, but it also freaks me out when I think about how much time/cost women are expected to spend as compared to men. I usually wear makeup in the cold months and go without in the summer. It stands as a symbol in some ways, either as a way of covering myself up when my self esteem is low or of showing myself off when my confidence is high. I wear it for special occasions. I never wear much--a bit of eyeliner, some foundation, mascara, and lip stain at most. I prefer my natural state in most things--natural hair color, natural hair texture. Learning to love the way I look and the way I am is more important to me than making myself look like a painting. Really, I think confidence is more key than anything else. That shines through whatever youre wearing (on your face or you body) and is the real source of beauty in a lot of ways.

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Kelly Maillie I remember the first time I felt self conscious in my body. I had just gone to the--at the time--ptopular outlets in the city near my rural home. We had family visiting from Arkansas. I was 6, or 7. The sky was dark, though it was a mid-August afternoon with rain. My mom bought me this bright purple raincoat and I was so excited. Like all new things, I tore the tags off and put it on in the car and proceeded to wear it around our damp and moldy den while my mom and grandmother prepared dinner. It was humid in spite of the rain. I remember the way that rain coat smelled and the way it felt on my small but chubby, six year old body. I looked at my mother and told her, I feel fat. Two years later, in my eight year old body, I begged my mom to buy my a bra for my chest that was still flat. By fourth grade, I was applying concealer to my-- now seen as beautiful--perfectly circular birthmark at the start of my hair line. In my angsty, pubescent teens, I was wearing dark eyeliner of all shades, floral body mists, and lip gloss, attempting to both feel and smell beautiful. I toned it down a bit in high school, purchased designer perfume, and started applying make up in a bit of a more conservative way. At 24 years of age, there are times when I apply far too much make up, there are times when I attempt for a more au natural look, and there are times when I wear none at all (although that is normally when Im in the comfort of my mothers home in a town where I now know no one); but in all of these scenarios, and all of the applying, touching-up, and removing, I feel exactly the same way: unsatisfied.

When Hannah photographed me, it was a raw and uncomfortable moment. When boyfriends have watched me apply make up, or even those times Ive woken up next to someone and know my make up is smeared and I dont look nearly as beautiful as I may have the night before--these are uncomfortable moments. Moments where I feel like somebody is seeing a side of me, that they shouldnt. Its a bit like shame, or guilt, or maybe its hatred for my own face. Whatever it is, I have that same feeling, the one felt at six years young, in that bright purple rain coat, on that humid and wet August day, in that damp den, discomfort in my own skin, my own body.

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Hannah EshlemanI put on mascara for the first time at age 12. It was early on a Sunday morning and I was wearing a pale yellow shirt with awkward jeans that were too long for my abnormally short legs. Its one of those random times in my life that I remember distinctly. I saw my mom, a natural beauty, applying it in the bathroom. I promptly stole her tube of mascara--pink bottle, green lid--and put it on. Mom told me I looked really nice and something in little tomboy me changed. Ever since that morning, Ive been wearing makeup every single day. I dont remember a day that I didnt wear it. Im exceptionally white and without makeup, all of my features--eyelashes, eyebrows, lips, skin--melt into a single shade of paleness (except for the blue eyes. They never change). I dont feel ready for my day if Im not wearing makeup. More tragically, I dont feel like I look like myself. How sad, that I need external enhancement to look like myself. Its backwards. Im not happy with my relationship with makeup. Its my safety blanket. I dont face the world without it (pun intended) and Im ashamed of that. I look at beautiful, makeup-less girls and I am incredibly envious. That being said, I think makeup is fantastic and its one of the reasons I think being a girl is way more fun. I love walking into Sephora and basking in a wonderland of powder, color and scent. Makeup and I have a dysfunctional relationship but Im in love.

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The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.

-Yves Saint Lauren (French fashion designer, 1936-2008)

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It hurts to be beautiful is a cliche I grew up with. It hurts not to be beautiful is a truth I acquired on my own. But not until researching this book did I begin to grasp the cumulative cost of our cultural preoccupation with appearance. Over a century ago, Charles Darwin concluded that when it came to beauty, no excuse is needed for treating the subject in some detail. That is even truer today; our global investment in appearance totals over $200 billion a year. Yet when it comes to discrimination based on appearance, an excuse for discussion does seem necessary, particularly for a scholar specializing in law and gender. Given all the serious problems confronting women--rape, domestic violence, poverty, inadequate child care, unequal pay, violations of international human rights--why focus on looks? Most people believe that bias based on beauty is inconsequential, inevitable, or unobjectionable. They are wrong. Conventional wisdom understates the advantages that attractiveness confers, the cost of its pursuit, and the injustices that result. Many individuals pay a substantial price in time, money and physical health. Although discrimination based on appearance is by no means our most serious form of bias, its impact is often far more invidious than we suppose. That is not to discount the positive aspects of appearance-related pursuits, including the pleasure that comes from self-expression. Nor is it to underestimate the biological role of sex appeal or the health benefits that can result from actions prompted by aesthetic concerns. Rather, the goal is to expose the price we pay for undue emphasis on appearance and the strategies we need to address it. What compounds the problem is our failure to recognize that it is a significant problem and one to which law and public policy should respond. Compared with other inequities that the contemporary womens movement has targeted, those related to appearance have shown strikingly little improvement. In fact, by some measures, such as the rise in cosmetic surgery and eating disorders, our preoccupation with attractiveness is getting worse. -exerpt from The Beauty Bias: The Injustice of Appearance in Life and Law by Deborah L. Rhode, professor at Standord Law School

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The only way Id be caught without makeup is if my radio fell in the bathtub while I was taking a bath and electrocuted me and I was in between makeup at home. I hope my husband would slap a little lipstick on me before he took me to the morgue.

-Dolly Parton

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Most women wear makeup because it makes them feel better about themselves and the way they look. Just a little bit of makeup can boost your self-confidence and even improve your mood. The power of self-confidence cannot be understated. Makeup will make you smile when you look in the mirror, and youll feel dressed and ready to take on the world. Think of it as war paint. Lets be honest, most of us just look better with a little face paint on. Its not that youre unattractive without makeup; its just that makeup will enhance and improve your look. If you have acne, for example, or an uneven skin tone, makeup can cover up your blemishes and give you skin that looks pure again. It can help cover up wrinkles, and it can make your eyes look defined and sexy. It brings color to your face and brings it to life, especially on the days when youre feeling very tired or at your worst. One of the best uses for makeup is as a way to highlight your best facial features. If you have very nice eyes, for example, a little eyeliner or mascara will make them pop even more. It will draw attention to your pouty lips, high cheekbones, or cute nose, and this also helps to draw attention away from other areas of your body that you might not be as happy about. Makeup is a great way to show off what youve got by making your face standout. People might not necessarily notice when you arent wearing makeup, but they notice when you do. A little bit of properly applied, tasteful makeup will impress just about everyone you come in contact with, whether they consciously realize it or not. When you wear a little makeup, youre giving off the impression that your style is polished and that you care about the way you look. Makeup is supposed to be fun. Its fun to apply, and you can be creative with it. There are lots of different colored eye shadows, blushes, eyeliners, and lipsticks. When you choose and put on your makeup, youre making a statement about your personal sense of style. No matter what youre wearing, makeup can be used to complete your look and pull it all together. Its a great accessory, and you can wear it in a way thats all your own. And dont cheat and claim that no makeup is your style everyone can have a makeup style, even if its simple and subdued.

-Ashley Cole, writer, blogger, brand ambassador for Alicia Silverstone ecotools

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My stance on beauty and makeup is a tormented one. From what the girls in this book have said and from what I have experienced in my own life, I understand that wearing makeup, in general, comes from a place of insecurity. Ultimately, it is a fleeting attempt to fulfill an insatiable desire to be worthy of affection, to be noticed, cherished and adored. Wearing makeup in order to achieve those things is utterly worthless. I, along with a multitude of other women, have fallen into the trap of believing that makeup will change something that can only be altered internally. There are perks, of course, to being a makeup-wearing, young blonde. Ive been moved to first class on airplanes, gotten jobs, been given dozens of free drinks at bars, etc. etc. But none of those things are worth anything at the end of the day. We are not loved for how we look, but who we are. There is very little substance to be found in grasping desperately at a shallow beauty that is rapidly disintegrating with every second that passes. This next sentence is as cliche as it is true--the only beauty worth pursing is internal. Know and love who you are, love others with abandon, knowing that you may not be loved in return, seek knowledge, pursue meaningful relationships and only chase things that are worth chasing...and now, I will end this sentence before I start sounding like a cheesy, inspirational Hallmark card, though I guess its too late for that.

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Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

-Franz Kafka

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